[inspire .]
Born to
Inspire
There is a delightful fragrance currently sweeping our nation with the emergence of dynamic women, who are exercising both their brilliant minds and compassionate hearts. Running with this fearless crowd is Hayley Solich who had every reason to be a victim. Today, Hayley is known as the ‘I Can Woman’ who is inspiring souls and leaving them breathless with her survivor to thriver attitude. In a candid interview, Christine Camp writes on the tragedies and triumphs of Hayley Solich. ayley Solich is no stranger to trauma, tragedy and sorrow. Suffering abuse as a child, feeling rejected at school, and homeless at 17, were definite reasons for Hayley to believe her path was set as a victim. Instead, she chose to create her own path in life. Pushing through the loss and pain she pursued her dreams and has inspired and motivated others to ‘Have a go at life too,” says Hayley. “I have lost count of how many people have told me they have been inspired by me. Some are inspired to try something new or to dig deeper and find the gold in difficult situations. They look at me and say, ‘If she can, then I can too’, because I am just an ordinary woman, with a passionate love of people and life.” “And I’ve gained an understanding that we don’t know who we are influencing in our lives,” says Hayley. “At College I reconnected with a friend from High School. Clare used to accompany me on the piano and was also on the softball team that I captained. I had no idea that she was watching me and that I was inspiring her because of my feelings of rejection. So when she told me I was her hero at school, I was gobsmacked.” The 44-year-old mother of four believes that we are all given unique and amazing abilities at birth, and by recognising and developing these gifts, we are fulfilling our destiny and creating joy and pleasure in our life. “We have all been ‘bar-coded’ by God,” laughs Hayley, “or that’s how I like to think of it. Each has a unique fingerprint and collection of talents and abilities, so we really can’t take the credit for what we are given at birth. However, we can
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If she can, then I can too’, because I am just an ordinary woman with a passionate love of people and life.” take the credit for putting our gifts into action by exploring, developing, and fully utilising our skills and the knowledge that is resident within us. It’s up to us what we choose to do with that blessing in our life. My mother always told me there was no such word as can’t, only won’t, so I just say to myself, ‘You can, Hayley’ and off I go. I used to be a Martin prior to marriage and the family joke has always been tell a Martin they can’t and they’ll say, ‘Just watch me.’” Hayley’s mother was a working mum, and despite her absence at home she had a significant impact on developing her daughter’s potential. “My mother was such a powerful influence in my life,” recalls Hayley, “and she always spoke to the potential in me. She’d been through a lot of hardship in her own life, being one of nine children, so she wanted to provide opportunities for the four of us. Secretly I think she was living vicariously through us, however, she was a very self-sacrificing person and taught me by example to have a strong work ethic, love for God and community focus. My mother and I were just starting to develop a friendship as
adults, when she was tragically taken from me. ” At the time of her mother’s death, Hayley was sharing a flat with her mum, rekindling their mother/daughter relationship. “Mum went on holidays with my sister and aunt,” recalls Hayley. “She invited me to go with them, but I was studying and I chose not to spare the time. On her way back the car was hit head on and she was killed instantly. In the days following, despite my deep pain, I was able to see that an accident is not accidental. Psalm 189 says, ‘Before one day came to be I knew it and it was written in my book of life.’ That psalm caused me to ponder and I saw there is just too much finite detail for an accident to ever be accidental. For her to be on that road at that time, there is no way it wasn’t a planned event. “In understanding this, I was able to quickly accept that this was God’s plan for her and also for me, because it caused me to grow up very quickly.” Hayley shared how she lost her two grandmothers in May, her mother in December and had her own car accident in September of the same year. “There were so many trials and traumas that year, but God was so faithful to me. He completely surrounded my life with supportive and loving friends who carried me through the hard times and surprisingly, I gave my best creative performance at the end of the following year,” says Hayley. Hayley Solich has a courageous determination about her that confronts adversity head on, out of which she seeks out and embraces the growth. Often that growth is painful, and according to Hayley, acceptance is the key to letting go and moving on. She believes life whispers it’s secrets through every situation if we are willing to listen. “I learned to model the Serenity Prayer at an early age,” says Hayley. “When I wanted an apology for the abuse I suffered as a child, I realised that I may never hear it. I had a decision to make. I could feel sad, mad, or bad; or I could accept that what happened was a part of my past life and it was okay to move on. I have questions like everyone, but I choose to have faith that the answers will come later. I just move on and trust that whatever is happening is planned and that I have done the best I could along the way.” In her adult life, Hayley has experienced financial hardship, post-natal depression, suffered a miscarriage and also marital separation to name a few of her trials. She is a survivor of the resilient kind, who continues to prove there is triumph over tragedy, forgiveness in failure and new beginnings after death. “Following the miscarriage” says Hayley, “and then the difficult birth of my son, my husband and I were in extreme financial hardship, having closed our business. With four children under five and very little support, it was completely understandable that something had to give. I look back at that time of emotional distress where I daily battled with suicidal thoughts, and then the separation from my husband years later, and I recognise they were both gifts to my life. The depression taught me to take responsibility for myself, and the separation, that grace is the key to a loving relationship. My other trials have taught me that if we don’t know despair, how can we know extreme joy? If we have not tasted sorrow, how can we appreciate another’s pain and suffering? Part of the beauty of the journey is the mystery of what’s going to happen, so my advice is to let go and let life surprise you.” Life has certainly had its share of surprises for Hayley. As a thriving dreamer, Hayley has the perfect combination of
realist and faith. At an early age she believed that her Godgiven talents would be discovered and unleashed. “Ever since I was a little girl,” says Hayley, “I had this dream that I would one day be discovered. I used to walk down the road and think, ‘Is today the day someone is going to spot the talent I have?’ I was born for the stage,” she laughs, remembering how many times her family called her a drama queen in her teens. During High School Hayley realised her passion for theatre. Success just seemed to chase her teen and young adult years…from High School musical performances that wowed the crowd, a long list of sports and performance trophies including Miss Schoolgirl at the Wellington Show, to living the dream of a paid performing artist in a Performing Arts Company in her early 20’s to receiving standing ovations in front of thousands. “One of my love languages is praise, so performing filled my love tank completely. Nothing beats the high you get when you receive a standing ovation and how awesome is it to get paid to do your passion?” The highs in Hayley’s adult life continued with her passion for connections, communication and creativity. “I love to connect people with what they need,” says Hayley, “and communicating through my writing and speaking engagements. I also love creating and when your job is your passion it’s so easy to be inspired and motivated. I’m the eternal optimist and an expert at improvisation,” she says with a wink, describing herself as a bit of a ‘bush mechanic’. With too many career highlights to mention, one stands out in her mind as life changing; co-founding Pearls Women’s Magazine in 2007. continued !(www.finallyat40.com.au)
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If we have not tasted sorrow, how can we appreciate another’s pain and suffering? Part of the beauty of the journey is the mystery of what’s going to happen, so my advice is to let go and let life surprise you.” “One of my Business Lecturers told me that I should consider Journalism as a career way back in 1992, but life got in the way. Marriage and four children later, my girlfriend suggested we start a magazine in 2005. I said yes, not really knowing what to expect, but I am proud to say we did it and I grew so much through the experience. Sometimes a vision takes time to realise,” says Hayley. We never know what opportunities lead us from one point to the next. It was a difficult decision for Hayley to leave Pearls, but looking back, she saw that the opportunity to experience all those amazing connections with people and share their stories led to her next passionate dream and the message she would “carry to the world”. “I felt so sad leaving Pearls but it was the right thing to do at the time. After I resigned, I spoke at a Women’s meeting, addressing the topic of She turns her cant’s into cans. It was during this meeting that I recognised this was the message that I wanted to carry for life. Telling our story of how with 11 children between us and no previous magazine experience, we created a dynamic magazine, I focused on what had been achieved and women were inspired. Through this the “you can” message stamped itself on my heart and I knew it was my life message to the world. No matter what your circumstance is telling you, I am here to say, ‘You can!’” Shortly afterwards, Hayley established Women Can International Inc, in the hope of sharing her ‘you can’ message with the world. Hayley believes that no matter where you are in life, you can always look for and take the next positive step in your journey. “This message came to me right in the middle of everything in my life falling apart. I was living in the granny flat at my in-laws, a one bedroom flat shared by the six of us. We had no privacy, and were caring for my in-laws who were both incapacitated. Everything was strained to capacity, yet this message and the passion I had for connecting with people and hearing their stories really drove me on when I separated from my husband. We all needed time to heal and for me, that healing process included surrounding myself with positive women.”
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After 18 months, Hayley and her husband re-united and she devoted herself to building her business, The Creaticians. Known for her creative genius, Hayley’s successful business fuels her love for creativity and people as she creates branding packages and mentors her clients and contributes to the family income. As a home-based business, Hayley is also constantly with her children, which satisfies the little girl inside who felt abandoned by her mother who went away to work. “With four children it is almost impossible to work for other people. Almost every day there is something child related to be done. It is also too hard and way too expensive to find childcare for four children. In fact, you can’t even ask someone to car pool because all the seats are taken up! So I had to find a way to supplement our income and to be available to my children. The Creaticians is the perfect opportunity for me to continue to connect, create and communicate,” says Hayley. Recently, Hayley was offered the Editorial position with Finally at 40 Life Begins Magazine. “I love my role as Editor, as it is allowing me to continue making those positive connections with so many wonderful and inspirational women and men around the country,” says Hayley. “I’ve learned that life is a series of stepping-stones. Who knows where this one will lead? I am here and I am determined to help make Finally at 40 Life Begins magazine the best magazine on the market.” From survivor to inspirer, if you’re around Hayley Solich, whether your 16 or 60, you are either going to be challenged, inspired or both. “Life is an incredible opportunity,” says Hayley. “You are never too old to do something new and you won’t know if you can until you try!” Hayley Solich is shining as the ‘I Can’ woman who will let nothing stand in the way of fulfilling her destiny. She has a rock-solid faith, with a curious attitude of seeking out hard-tofind solutions and a booming passion for people to become who they were created to be. Say you ‘can’t’ and she will be standing on the sidelines of your life yelling, Yes, you can, you just need to find your own pathway! 40