With friends like these

Friendship can return many times what you give

I have some amazing friends in my life where we hold each other accountable for our goals. We check in with each other and see how we are holding up with the daily grind, our emotional and physical health, relationships, and personal as well as professional goals.

We celebrate each other’s accomplishments no matter the size because they all are significant. We care. We love. We share. We are willing to be vulnerable with each other. We have this relationship because we equally give as much as we receive.

No relationship can be complete unless it is a complete circle. The wedding ring. The infinity symbol. True friendship. What is fascinating is that I don’t know deep details about these particular friends’ lives. I have not known them for decades, some but only a few years.

The details of events, what our hair looked like back in 1988, or even how old we are do not seem to matter. We find that is not the meat of the relationship. Our intimacy comes in the circle of receiving as much as we give.

In that simple formula is trust. Let’s face it, we have family members and childhood best friends that know every detail of our life and are unable to give and receive. We have relationships that feel one-sided. When we look deep into our patterns in a relationship, do we permit ourselves to give as much as we receive? Often more difficult than that is permitting ourselves to receive as much as we give.

“Manifest Much?” my friend jokingly said to me. I could hear his loving tease that also reflected admiration and the pull for him to keep going. We keep each other going whether we talk once a month or a few times a week. We are equally aligned even a town apart. I don’t even necessarily tell him everything I do, nor does he to me, but we know. We have equal goals.

We know that if I ever needed him, or he needed me, we’d drop everything to help boost, love, nurture or slap you know what out of each other. I think I have known him for three years. The details do not matter.

He does not expect me to regularly check in on him. Yet he often beats me to the punch. He may hear what I am up to via his partner from an Instagram post. Does not matter. We know we care. I do not expect him to show me certain actions to know that he loves me. When you give without expecting anything back, we tend to receive tenfold in return.

The continuous flow of love in a friendship is trusting, infinite and beautiful. As this article started taking shape, I messaged him excitedly and told him that I was writing about him with no real details. Of course, in return, he says that he is excited to read it. He never questioned or became worried about what was going to be published. He was just happy to be sharing with me.

He proceeds to say, “By the way, I graduated with my masters on Mother’s day!” Yes, the day that HE messages me wishing ME a happy Mother’s Day. He has never even met my children. I could have chosen to go to that guilty place. Stating that I was a terrible friend or make excuses that I didn’t know the graduation date. The pointless garbage that disrupts the ring of friendship. We do not have to play that game.

We simply share in each other’s success as equally as our epic fails. We encourage each other’s manifestations because we understand the work behind it. Our epic fails have become less and less and we laugh at the little things since we came together just a few short years ago. He tells me that a master’s degree is easy compared to motherhood. I tell him that this goes to show what an amazing human being that he is. “I’m just a very simple guy who loves you!”

We ask for nothing from each other, yet we give each other everything in unconditional kindness. Both of our lives are better for it. Give without expectations and you shall receive. Receive just as lovingly, for we are all worth that type of love. Equally. Manifest much.

Laurie DeBruin CCH,CRR is the owner of Chrysalis Reflexology Hypnosis & Enrichment Center. Reach her at (517) 648.1980.