Pulling a Swiftie…on a commission basis. Grape Expectations by Max Crus

Who knew there were so many ‘Swifties’ in Australia?

They were queuing up for yonks, even overstepping the line of criminality to get what they wanted, which in the end seemed such a feeting beneft.

Oh, no, I’m not talking about people falling over themselves for Taylor Swift tickets, I’m talking about the now notorious Gang of Four - Morrison, Tudge, Porter and Roberts (sounds like a legal frm…how apt)

Quilty and Gransden, Orange, Cabernet Sauvignon 2018, $19. Another good name for a legal frm, and a tricky one to say following post-Royal Commission celebrations. “Elegant, cool climate” stuff says the label and I have every reason to believe this is the truth, and it’s good value, Your Honour. 9.4/10.

Quilty and Gransden,

- and the Robodebt Royal Commission, although unexpectedly, there are many similarities. Incredibly, 800,237* tickets were sold for Taylor’s upcoming Aussie concerts, exactly the same number as were “incorrectly”, “illegally”, “immorally” and “incompetently” targeted by Morrison’s invention, Robodebt, and that’s the language of the Commissioner btw, not Ticketek and Fair Trading

Orange, Sauvignon Blanc 2021, $19. 2021 is a bit older than your average SB and your Taylor Swift fan, which is appropriate because the latter are too young to drink anyway, and dare I say it, a bit brighter? No, that would be rude. 9.2/10.

Medhurst Yarra Valley Chardonnay 2021, $50. Yellow on white is a diffcult combination talking about scalpers.

Astonishingly, fve times more people wanted Taylor Swift tix, which coincidentally is precisely the number of people indirectly affected by Robodebt.

Uncanny.

But the co-incidence doesn’t stop there. The cheapest Taylor tix were about $359 (standing room outside the toilets), the same amount as the minimum computergenerated ‘Robo’ debt of people who didn’t have a when it comes to readability which is why all the Robodebt legislation was written in yellow. However the wine itself stands out like beacon of balance of everything one could want in a chardonnay. Lovely stuff.

9.5/10.

Eloquesta (by Stuart Olsen) Mudgee (Special 10th Anniversary) Shiraz Petit Verdot 2018, $45. The sweet job or a home*. Gosh.

Anyway, who would begrudge Taylor the $2billion she will earn during 2023? Spookily, this is the same amount the Coalition hoped to reap from welfare ‘bludgers’ but instead was the extra cost to taxpayers, minus the legal bills, and believe me, Taylor Swift tickets are cheap compared to a KC’s hourly rate.

Taylor’s Swifties have got nothing on Coalition swifties, all of whom now fruit and aroma of this makes it dangerously alluring and easy to drink, so keep away from Swifties. A lovely warm, bright red perfect for the VIP tent, but I bet they would be too stingy even at VIP ticket prices.

9.6/10.

Shaw and Smith Adelaide Hills Sauvignon Blanc 2023, $32. This has gone up a dollar since last vintage, say the Commissioner is wrong and ignored the facts. Were these the facts provided by, surprise, PWC? At least PWC had the good grace (or knew they would ultimately be compelled) to pay back the $853,859** they received for the power-point concocted for the purpose.

Unbelievably that’s precisely what the most expensive Taylor Swift tickets cost! Minus the scalpers margin but including the hotel and that’s 3.3 percent, which is exactly what Philip Lowe has been asking for. Now if only everyone could do that. Every year I taste this it’s worth another dollar and will undoubtedly be excellent value at $62 in 2053. Benchmark stuff.

9.7/10.

Homefullness Barossa

Shiraz 2021, $22. This is a ‘collab’ - as the label says - between Forage

Max Crus

meal package, and spot on the amount generated by Robodebt crooks before the scheme was fnally, begrudgingly shut down.

Yep, gotta hand it to the Coalition for their money management skills, although they could perhaps take a lesson from Taylor on that.

Now, I wonder what wines came with the VIP package?

Built and Yalumba, each bottle raising funds for innovative, sustainable housing for people who don’t have any. So the marketers are likely 2030 something Swifties, and the benefciaries Robotdebt survivors. Is it altruistic if you get thoroughly decent shiraz for your donation?

9.2/10.