PICTURES TELL A STORY

‘Leemo Cat’ here. My morning reverie was rudely interrupted by ‘Mum Jane’ screeching like a demented parrot. ‘LEEMO, get in here

RIGHT NOW, pronto.’

Aaaarrgh…with a rush of trepidation I KNEW she had discovered my ‘accident’. (Pray Leemo Pray!) Oh well, I’ll just make it up. I went inside and found her by following the sound of the rude words emanating from her ‘Hobby’ room. She was in a t of rampage, so much so she was shaking and red faced. Eeek! (I found this most unattractive)

‘Leemo, sit down and answer everything I ask you, applying Gospel truth. (I reckon I can get outta this ‘cos she didn’t ask me to sign a Stat.Dec.) ‘Firstly, have you per chance noticed me patiently sorting little shapes in past weeks, putting di erent shapes in small cardboard trays?’ OK, I’m happy to answer that question. ‘Yes

Mumsie my treasure… oopsie, she shouted at me to ‘cut the suck-up rubbish’ and answer.

OK then! ‘Yep, I have noticed.’ She went on, ‘well, did it perhaps cross your tiny mind that there was a purpose to my actions that meant something?’

(I ‘thought’ to myself, NUP, it didn’t you silly old woman!) ‘Errrr, not really Mum, apart from thinking you were doing C.O.W. erapy in an attempt to bring your frame of mind into a calm, e little shapes I have been sorting form what is called a Jigsaw Puzzle. Once sorted, the challenge is to put them all together to create a ni y picture. My Puzzle is a photo of a painting by Margaret Olley called ‘Margaret’s Chair.’ Now, what I WANT you to explain to me is WHY you would choose to do a wee in 2 of the cardboard trays with Jigsaw shapes in them? Some shapes

Well?’ Hmmm. I deduced I was already deep enough in poo stu , so I told her ‘C.O.W. means Crabby Old Woman Mum’. Whew, respite appeared in the form of her doing VERY deep breathing muttering ‘stay calm Jane, JUST stay calm’. I took the chance make her a cup of tea. Some time later she spoke again with an undertone of threat? ‘Right Leems, I am going to tell you something so you bloody well LISTEN!

FLOATED’ Oh pi e, easy peasy! ‘Well Mum, it was raining that night. I had to wee but was too tired to go downstairs to my tray. I found the little trays of, frankly, rather strange litter on a trunk covered by a green kinda cover like so grass. I reckoned you had put these mini trays out for meesie and my big weesie. It was hard to scoop and bury it neatly, but I managed. Mum, don’t buy THAT litter again, OK?’ Crikey, she just fainted. I prayed that when she woke up she’d forget about all the bbies I’ve told. (I SIMPLY was not going out in the rain or going down all those stairs just to do a wee!) (PS.. Humans are strange.. why would anyone chop a perfectly good picture into bits to put it all back together again?) Ponder? Nitey nite. Leemo.