Australians all let us rejoice Grape Expectations by Max Crus

Sosays the national anthem, for we are one and free, and Aussies love nothing more than rejoicing at being number one.

Okay, it took until 2021, 250 years, for us white fellas to wake up and realise we were one rather than young but that in itself, being a wee bit racist, and late, is something we excel at too, while at the same coming frst in denying it another win.

There are a couple of

Chateau Tanunda other frsts Australia could boast, but being modest types, we try not to, like mammalian extinctions, even putting our national emblem, the koala, on alert to be next, and, being so good at it, we havent tried to slow things down. Another frst, inaction!

Barossa Valley The Chateau Single Vineyard Bethanian Shiraz 2021, $40. Bethanian sounds positively biblical and wouldnt the world has been a different place if the three men had been wise enough to bring shiraz. Heavenly stuff for less than 500 grams of myrrh. 9.6/10.

Yoohoo.

True, Australia leads the world in other areas than wildlife and habitat destruction, such as being frst in the world for per capita use of plastic bags, so let’s not get bogged down in our own soil runoff.

Chateau Tanunda Barossa Valley The Chateau Single Vineyard Shiraz 2021, $35. A big bomb of a Barossan thing, not uncommon from that part of the world, it’s a wonder the French haven’t objected to the use of the word Chateau. Get away with it while you can. 9.4/10.

We are so good at wrapping everything in plastic, with Coles and Woolies leading the charge saying ìour customers demand it, so who are we to deny them, that we are only 20 years behind other countries. Thats the spiritof Australia. Sorry, Qantas.

Speaking of which, Qantas is possibly frst

Cuvee Sparkling Shiraz SB20, $24. A staple of the sparkling shiraz stable for as long as most people can remember, and in the absence of the old Seppelts versions probably the go to of a depressingly diminishing selection in the price range. 9.4/10. de Bortoli Heathcote

‘Woodfred’ Grenache, 2021, $22. Not sure if in the world for airline profts, and co-incidentally and surely unrelated, for outsourcing its workforce. Wrap that Flying Kangaroo in social glory. Might even be frst for airline CEO remuneration too. Have to check that.

One of our proudest achievements however is being frst in the world at poker machines, their use and abuse! Two frsts in one. Howz that for a Crowning glory? Ooh,

I’d like my grenache woodfred, I’m not even that fussed with woodfred pizza - what’s wrong with just well oven-cooked pizza? But fads are fun so get on board and at least here you get a pretty cool grenache despite the woodfring. 9.2/10.

Tahbilk Ngambie Lakes Marsanne 2022, $20.30. There is something sorry about that $500 million AUD fne, Guys, but no matter, you’ve been benefting from problem gamblers and money launderers for so long thats likely a drop in the bucket, which is about all those poor buggers have left because Australia is also frst in the world at losing money to gambling.

To top it all off, Australia just achieved yet another frst - per capita use of cocaine, thanks largely to distinctly pinot gris about this latest incarnation of the famous Tahbilk marsanne, but we know from experience this will be superior to probably any gris in the country in 2043. Meanwhile... 9.2/10.

Tahbilk Ngambie Lakes Viognier 2022, $20.60. Unbelievable that a year has passed since we tried the previous

Max Crus

NSW, who cant win State of Origin footy, but they’ve got it sorted when it comes to being snorted and that’s nothing to be sniffed at.

Surely Australia is frst in the world at something good, but nothing springs to mindbut wait, yes, we’re frst in the world for plantings of shiraz and marsanne. Phew, let’s drink to that.

vintage of this, it’s fruit character lingering like it was yesterday. Or last month at least. Not so much peach and passionfruit this year as lychee and lime and you could probably fnd more if you sniffed hard enough which you will. Excellent value. 9.4/10.