Wines

Grape Expectations by Max Crus Gaining my religion

Traditionally there’s three topics best avoided at parties, family gatherings, sports arenas and wine columns: politics, religion and driving skills.

However, religion has come out of the closet, metaphorically speaking, and is now fair game.

Many religions have a holy day, during which adherents are compelled to down tools. For some, that day is Sunday and frankly, what’s not to like about that?

Remember the good old days when Sunday closures were sacrosanct for everyone? You couldn’t buy alcohol, petrol, or anything really.

There was no sport, and nobody worked except nurses, doctors, emergency workers and priests?

As those who lived during that epoch, which lasted for 2000 years mind you, will testify, it was pretty good.

Then things changed and alcohol, petrol, sports and gambling companies thought they could make 16.66 per cent more profit by opening Sundays, convincing us that all those people who worked the other six days didn’t have time to buy or watch things, conveniently forgetting that the economy didn’t actually have more money, it was merely spread over seven rather than six days, and that if Sundays were fair game, no-one had time to do those things.

So on the seventh day, the world changed, and now if something isn’t open on Sunday, we complain…except those who have religion and hold Sundays sacred.

But wait there’s more to religion than just a Sunday sleep-in, as former PM Scott Morrison can testify, and does.

Still employed by the people of Australia, and paid $250,000pa or more as the Member for Cook, he doesn’t have to do anything, yet continues to get paid while roaming the Pentecostal world spruiking the virtues of religion over the failings of democratically elected governments.

How good is that?

He doesn’t even have to show up in parliament when it sits. He’s off doing his more important evangelical work in Japan. Does it get any better?

But wait, there’s more.

Now if you’re a footballer and don’t want to play because it’s an ‘Inclusive’ round, you can just say “it’s against my religion”, Bob’s your uncle and you have the day off. Doesn’t seem very Manly, let alone inclusive though, so maybe the team should be called Godly?

Then hey, remember tax? You don’t pay any if you’re in the employ of God.

So, next time don’t want to do something, like work Sundays, just sign up. Better make sure all your work is done and the fridge and cellar are stocked up though.

Max Crus is a Clarence Valley-based wine writer and Grape Expectations is now in its 26th year of publication. Find out more about Max or sign up for his weekly reviews and musings by visiting maxcrus.com.au

Patrick Wines (Mt Gambier - Two Blocks Range) Pinot Noir 2019, $32. Patrick of Mt Gambier! Stylishly different pinot with great depth despite the minimalist 12.5 per cent. Would make a lovely altar wine. 9.4/10. Annais Mudgee Organic Pinot Grigio 2021, $18. Tricky to say, so be careful with the sommelier, who, if they’re worth their salt, will say it for you and you can giggle after they’ve left. Simple and clean, bit like me. 8.9/10. Patrick of Coonawarra Single Site Block 5 Aged Riesling 2014, $45. The golden hue is almost too golden for something only eight-years-old and almost matches the label, and it’s a dead giveaway of what’s to come. Lovely, rich, mouth-filling riesling with a nose to match. 9.6/10. Carillion Hunter Valley ‘Fenestella’ Shiraz 2019, $60. Altogether brighter and sharper than the richer and fuller mouthfeel of the Feldspars…or am I making that up? Better try them again…hmm, now this has more ‘re body…or does it? Both are worthy of experimentation and it’s fun while you’re at it. 9.4/10. Annais South Australia Organic Chardonnay 2020, $18. In the old days of coal and gas and the National Party was relevant, $18 was cheap for organic wine, but now they’re as common as solar and wind and the prices have followed suit. Simple but stylish and sustainable, all-day Sunday. 9.1/10. Carillion Orange (Origins) ‘Feldspars’ Shiraz 2019, $60. The release of two flagship single vineyard wines Carillion call their ‘Origin’ series, is a clever, cheeky marketing ploy to encourage you to buy both. Made exactly using exactly the same winemaking technique but from different sites, who can resist the temptation to compare? You might buy more than two. 9.5/10.