Wines

Grape Expectations by Max Crus

Lost in space

A wise old comedian, Confucius maybe, once said “You, can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”

Buying a Bunnings store would be a good start, or so I thought.

Over the years I have bought pretty much one of everything from various sections, and one of everything from the screws, nuts and bolts aisle, and having used only one or two of each packet of a dozen or more, kept the others for future tasks.

Evidently I don’t give myself enough tasks - and Ms L is intelligent enough not to give me any, but that’s a column for another day – as no matter the tasks over the past decades, and collecting Bunnings leftovers, I still never have the right stuff for the next.

Take the latest handyman endeavour, wall. Simple enough, but before we launch into that, how come a samll piece of moulded plastic that itself looks like a throw-away piece of packaging, costs more than a thumb drive with microscopic engineering and more power and complexity than was on all the Apollo lunar modules combined and can store 64 gigabits of vital information, and deliver it anywhere in the world in microseconds?

Anyway, I didn’t buy screws for the hose holder because I had a 64GB box of them at home in the shed, two of which would surely suit.

Nuh. that was okay, I had a Eureka moment… they didn’t need to match!

Who cares if one was a 25mm, 6M, 18mm 3/8ths round Philips head? And no need for a new drill bit because I had bought every imaginable size on previous Bunnings visits.

Where could they have possibly disappeared to over the years?

Anyway, the hose-rack is only a teensy bit crooked.

It was only as I was putting the tools away that I found an old hose rack, exactly the same as the one just installed, behind the shed door and began to ponder how it was that I had no idea what was in my shed, yet know exactly which wines are in my cellar and fridge and which one I was going to open right now.

Max Crus is a Clarence Valley-based wine writer and Grape Expectations is now in its 26th year of publication. Find out more about Max or sign up for his weekly reviews and musings by visiting maxcrus.

Pindarie Barossa Valley Black Hinge Reserve Shiraz 2016, $78 (current vintage 2017). I feel special having seen the black hinge after which this is named. It’s just a hinge, black, quite impressive as hinges go. But you wouldn’t get one at Bunnings. Same with the wine itself, pretty impressive as shiraz goes, 15%, and you can’t get it at Bunnings...I think. 9.5/10.

Dream Bird (Margaret River) Pipsqueak Sparkling Chenin 2019, $?? (Available through Naked Wines). You feel like you’re drinking a rare treasure with this, possibly the only sparkling chenin in the country, maybe the world? Certainly the only one called Pipsqueak. It feels lighter than its 13 percent and quite frivolous but be careful who you offer it to lest they be offended. 9.2/10.

Brown Brothers Milawa Prosecco Premium Brut Single Vineyard NV $27. This has got a bit more oomph and character than your average prosecco and while it is not Champagne, it is a perfectly palatable and proper (and cheaper) alternative. 9.3/10.

Brown Brothers Milawa Prosecco (sparkling) Rosé, NV $20. There’s a lot more gone into this wine than meets the eye, or the palate. Prosecco is white, but the Brothers Brown cleverly added a dash of Cienna, a cross between the Spanish variety Sumoll and Cabernet Sauvignon, to pink it up. 9.2/10.

Moppity Vineyards (Young/Hilltops) Lock and Key Pinot Noir 2019, $27. We tend to approach pinot with some trepidation, there’s not that many that make you think “I want more of that”. This is a proper, characterful, red wine for the grape. 9.3/10.

(Moppity) Coppabella of Tumbarumba Single Vineyard Pinot Gris 2021, $27. Astute readers will know I am no fan of the gris, but every now and then one must relent and bite thy tongue and let one roll over it with contrition. 9.4/10.