Wines

Grape Expectations by Max Crus Autonomy drives us to distraction

Went to Yamba recently. It’s the new holiday hotspot for Southerners and city escapees much as Byron Bay was before Hollywood bought it.

It was school holidays and there were plenty of 13-year-olds on skateboards marauding their way to the latest minion movie, but this demographic only lowered the average age of the bustling seaside holiday town to about 78.

Perhaps a shuffling seaside town would be more apt, which in itself presents no issue.

What is concerning however is the average speed of motorists in Yamba is the opposite. Okay, 78kmh might be too fast for an urban area but Yamba is a long place from it’s one road in to the beaches and cafés for which it’s renowned and at 13kmh, one ages appreciably en route, which perhaps explains the demographic.

Surely at age 78 you’d want to cram as much in as you could, possibly with less in front of you than behind, depending on your religion, but not in Yamba and this made me reassess my long-held view that autonomous vehicles will solve all the world’s traffic problems.

We experienced the world of autonomy recently when we hired a vehicle with heaps of autonomous technology, albeit not as much as fully self-drive Teslas which crash into trucks when they’re the same colour as the sky.

Ours had enough nous not to run into the car in front, nor deviate from its lane on a motorway, notwithstanding that it shook the steering wheel furiously to alert you to this which was quite disconcerting when you actually wanted to change lanes.

If you tried this too close to the car in front, it would not only shake the steering wheel like a badly balanced washing machine but brake suddenly too, thus causing the car in the adjacent lane to crash into you, because your car wasn’t quite smart enough to accelerate to avoid it, although loud alarms went off, making you wonder “what’s happening”. I imagine Boeing 737 Maxx pilots would understand.

So we drove to Melbourne without any driver input once the cruise-control was set, and I managed to write this column while behind the wheel, but each time it came up behind a slow driver, it would just slow down and sit behind them until they stopped.

It felt like Yamba.

If that’s the future of autonomous vehicles, no thanks.

Although, perhaps if you could have a glass of wine along the way? You certainly wouldn’t spill any in Yamba.

Max Crus is a Clarence Valley-based wine writer and Grape Expectations is now in its 26th year of publication. Find out more about Max or sign up for his weekly reviews and musings by visiting maxcrus.com.au

Margan Broke Fordwich Single Vineyard ‘Francis John’ Semillon 2016, $60. Frank was the patriarch of Margan and this tribute by his son, Andrew, in thanks, is about as thoughtful as it gets. Surely Francis John would be chuffed, as we all were with the wine itself. Cheers Frank. 9.5/10. Margan Hunter Valley Estate Grown Ceres Hill Chardonnay 2019, $75. So lemony yet luscious, this could be semillon in disguise if it wasn’t so full of flavour. Margan are probably still under water at the moment, let’s hope Ceres Hill was spared. 9.6/10. Crittenden Estate Mornington Peninsula Kangerong Pinot Noir 2020, $45. This would be a great wine for expats or people who live in Kangy Angy. Unmistakably Aussie, unmistakably Mornington, unmistakably pinot. 9.5/10. Crittenden (Mornington) ‘Peninsula’ Pinot Gris 2021, $34. The most fantastic scent of confectionary (good cakes and lollies too) ropes you in at the first sniff, but the first sip brings you back to earth and the realisation it is still pinot gris, and a good one. Even better if you just sniff it. 9.3/10. Angullong Orange Region Crossing Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon 2018, $48. It still gets bloody cold in Orange nowadays but it’s warm enough to ripen cabernet beautifully. Some would argue it always was, or maybe 2018 was warmer than usual and this one of those serendipitous outcomes of climate change. 9.5/10. Angullong Orange Region Crossing Reserve ‘Harriet’ (Sangiovese, Sagrantino, Montepulciano) 2019, $48. How could you not like a wine called ‘Harriet’? I bet the Crossing family matriarch would be humble, but secretly chuffed. It’s serious wine however and the colourful and characterful combination could start a wave of girls called Harriet. 9.4/10.