Burning down the house (market).

Right, listen up! There’s been lots of talk lately about a housing crisis, so just in case you have been in intensive care for a decade or you are already dead, here’s a brief history of how we’ve tackled the issue.

John Howard and Peter Costello fxed everything by giving all the mining boom windfall to people who already had dough via tax breaks for the rich, franking credits and capital gain discounts for housing investors suggesting this

Mayfeld Vineyard

Orange ‘Eighteen Fifteen’ Chardonnay 2023, $37.

A celebration of seven blokes, four horses and fve dogs crossing the Blue Mountains and discovering the region of Orange for white blokes. One was ‘given’ ‘Mayfeld’ for his would encourage them to build new houses for the poor.

This worked very well… for rich people, thank you very much, although they didn’t build anything (or thank anyone), they just bought every home in the country and jacked the rent up.

This sudden leap in demand as they all leapt on the bandwagon caused house prices to double in fve minutes and everyone was happy, specially anyone who chardonnay though. 9.4/10.

Mayfeld Vineyard

Orange Mrs Crawford, Pinot Noir, 2023, $37.

Margaret Crawford lived at Mayfeld for 65 years.

Living anywhere for that time is an achievement but planting the arboretum was her true legacy, specially if owned a house…or ten.

After a decade people discovered it was much harder to buy a house.

Thus the First Home Buyers scheme was introduced, which gave people $7,000 to buy a house and which simultaneously raised the price of every house in Australia by $7,000, whether a frst home buyer bought it or not.

Everyone was happy, specially those who owned a house…or ten.

The NSW Government

Mayfeld Vineyard

Orange Jonty Met Otto Cabernet Franc, 2023, $37. Such a sweet story about the meeting of brothers, Jonty and Otto, and a case should be saved for their 18th birthday, or 30th perhaps. They’ll probably prefer other stuff thought paying the average $25,000 stamp duty in instalments would help. Unfortunately so did the real estate industry which unilaterally raised the price of every house by $25,000 and everyone was happy, specially if they owned a house (or ten).

Then the Coalition suggested allowing people to use $50,000 of their superannuation to ‘buy in’ might work. House prices rose by $50,000 out of fright, and everyone was happy,

Mayfeld Vineyard

Orange Three Boys Cabernet Blend, 2023, $30. This is so light and bright it could almost be ‘Low Alcohol’, but 12 per cent is not quite light enough. Fruity but sharp at the same time and quite unusual for cabernet. Have specially if you owned a house (or ten), and the Superannuation industry went ‘WTF?”

Then the Coalition donated low-interest money to banks to help small business through the pandemic, which the banks promptly funnelled into housing instead, and everyone was happy…

And everyone was happy, specially those who owned a home (or ten), who all rushed out and bought wine with their windfall from their negatively-geared, capitalgains discount.

So there was one positive.

Finally someone suggested building more houses, to which Labor and the Coalition went “What sort of bizarre, unhinged, kooky, Green Political Party idea is that?”, and instead offered to go halves with the fnance for a few lucky home buyers, to which the real estate industry said ‘Whoopppeee” and raised everything by 10 percent.

(Mr Riggs) Mr Brightside Fleurieu Peninsula Rosé 2023, $24. A charmingly cherry-pink thing with a cool, if unfathomable, arty label should walk off the shelves. If it walks into your fridge you get a pretty smart rose to show off with your weird sense of art.

‘Valerie’ Pinot Noir, 2023, $35. Valerie is one of the most cherished girls’ names because of Amy Winehouse. Who doesn’t love Valerie now because of that song? And if you love pinot you will love Valerie too. Defnitely at the posh