Wines

Grape Expectations by Max Crus

PM led by the nose to whisky-led recovery

Okay, who isn’t sick of the election campaign?

Right. Down the back of the bus, both of you.

For the rest of you, you don’t have to listen to another word of the campaign trying to fathom whether they’re telling the truth or just fudging the figures so much they’re in chocolate up to their necks, the answer is simple – just vote Independent.

Let’s get 150 of them. How good would that be? Queensland?

All the important issues to individual electorates, like rogue crocodiles in Bob Katter’s, could be dealt with on a case by case basis, while the less important stuff would be as the old saying goes, look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves. (For younger readers that’s old person’s currency that arose between cubits and the dollar).

Yes, the lesser issues are simple. Housing crisis? Just build more. Job done, no inquiry required.

Education. Fund all students equally and transparently with a premium for schools that aren’t doing so well. How hard was that?

Welfare? Give everyone as much as we did during covid…forever. People eat better meaning lower health/dental costs, less crime, so we need fewer police, and since everyone gets it, you don’t need to police who is getting it with things like RoboDebt. We’d save money by giving it away!

How do we afford all of this the naysayers will be nayasking?

Maaate, just yesterday the PM gave $4.5million to Tassie whisky distillery, Lark. We can afford anything, except maybe Lark itself.

The cheapest thing on Lark’s menu is one 440ml can of beer at $100, although you also get 100ml of whisky with that. Hmm, which do you drink first? The cheapest whisky is $150 (500ml)!

Is this the PMs new strategy, a whisky-led recovery? That’s $6000 per barrel, slightly more than oil at the moment.

Okay, what about regional security. Actually this is the easiest of them all. Just be nice to all our neighbours, invite them over for wine and cheese and whisky. Serve them Grange, Hill of Grace and a Lark or two…who would not want to be our friend?

How do we pay for all this? Perhaps we could properly tax all the people who can afford Grange, Hill of Grace and Lark whisky. We could call it the trickle-down tax.

Max Crus is a Clarence Valleybased wine writer and Grape Expectations is now in its 26th year of publication. Find out more about Max or sign up for his weekly reviews and musings by visiting maxcrus.com.au. Lark (Tasmania) Classic Cask Single Malt Whisky, $200 (500ml) or $60 (100ml as one of a three tasting pack).

Okay that may sound expensive, and you’d think with $4.5mill from the government they’d be able to keep a lid on prices, but wait, it’s still cheaper than Grange and HoG per ml, which is about how much most people can afford. 9.6/10.

Lark (Tasmania) Symphony No.1 Whisky, $150 (500ml) or as above $60 (100ml tasting pack).

Entry level stuff as the price indicates and apart from being the cheapest in the range, is easily the smoothest and most drinkable of the tasting trio for whisky non-regulars. 9.4/10.

Euchareena Road Orange NSW Cabernet Sauvignon 2016, $25. 2016 is quite old for wine, but nothing in whisky circles so you get much more bang for your buck in volume at least. Three cents per ml is a bargain so you won’t feel the need to lick the glass, although you might, it’s a good, solid and sound cabernet. 9.4/10.

Euchareena Road Merlot 2016, $25.

Merlot has taken a bit of a back seat in the wine realm in recent years, and no-one seems keen to make a really flash one which is possibly a good thing. The standard is good and eminently drinkable and it keeps the lid on cost. 9.2/10.

Meerea Park Indie Hunter Valley Marsanne Roussanne 2021, $30.

This is wild out-there sort of gear befitting the name and the grapes. There’s so much going on it’s like a festival in a bottle or maybe a vigneron’s market. Wild but not untameable. 9.2/10.

Meerea Park Indie Hunter Valley Finger Lime Gin, $80.

Clean, green and lean, you can actually taste the lime. Spirited and characterful without overdoing the botanicals…I feel a lime Negroni coming on. 9.5/10.

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