Cast of Characters LOUISE, late 20s - early 30s, pregnant newly-wed TOD, late 20s - early 30s, newly-wed
Place Their home. Time Evening, just before sunset.
At RISE: (LOUISE stands by the sink in a modest, lower middle class kitchen, gazing out the window. Beads of cool water condense on the glass of red wine she balances in her palm, as she appears to ponder the universe. Offstage, muffled goodbyes and a phone being hung up can be heard. TOD walks in, a look of stifled foreboding on his strong face. Something is obviously awry; everything about his body conveys it.) TOD Louise, we need to talk. (LOUISE turns around. A bulging belly comes into view, beneath a concerned visage.) LOUISE What is it? (For a pensive moment, TOD stares back strongly into her compassionate, milky eyes.) TOD You’re gonna want to sit down for this. LOUISE Tod, what’s wrong? TOD (domineering) Just sit down, Louise. LOUISE Why are you getting angry? What’s going on, Tod? I don’t need to sit down. Just tell me what’s wrong!
2.
(TOD turns away from his wife, averting his eyes to the ground. He walks a few steps away; with distance comes the strength to continue.) TOD Louise... Tomorrow... Tomorrow, I’ll be leaving you. (The glass falls from LOUISE’s hand, meeting the floor in a shrill of onomatopoeic anguish; the sanguineous liquid oozes across the floor. In shock, LOUISE fumbles for a chair from under the kitchen table.) LOUISE (frantic; uttering quickly, half to herself) I knew you were going to say that... I just knew it. How? I’m not sure. But, the second you walked into this kitchen, I knew it was over... (eyes tearing up) What’s going on? What happened? What’d I do? (TOD turns his back still to his lover. A deep dread devours his entire being, yet he maintains his distance.) TOD No, no, Louise, it’s not like that. It’s nothing you did... But, after tomorrow... You won’t ever see me again. No one will. LOUISE (lost) What? What are you talking about, Tod? This isn’t the time to fucking beat around the bush. TOD You know what I’m saying, Louise; don’t pretend. You heard me get off the phone. You know who it was. (LOUISE immediately breaks the ophthalmic bond, and quickly, and contemplatively, turns her head toward the ground. Beat.)
3.
LOUISE (trembling) What... Umm, uh, what, did they say? TOD Exactly what I expected them to. We’re getting deployed tomorrow, Louise... And... We’re gonna die. LOUISE (desperate) But, how, how can you say that?! TOD Because I’m not just saying it; I know it. It’s true. LOUISE But I just don’t understand how you can be so certain. They didn’t just call you on the phone and say, “Tod, you’re going to die tomor-” TOD -But they don’t have to. I’m not stupid; I know what they mean, what they’re really saying. It’s coded language; it’s all got two meanings... “A mission that only men of your caliber can handle.” Fuck that. What they really mean is “Everyone above you is too useful; we need some disposables.” “We have intel demonstrating that this is the next best step.” Lyin’ assholes. Really means this is their best guess for what to do next. And then, the worst: “Thank you for your service.” Bull shit, bull shit, bull shit. They don’t really mean it. It’s an insult; that’s what it is... (LOUISE stares back, distressed, unsure of what to say. She manages to stop crying.) TOD I know exactly what’s going on, Louise. And it’s nothing special--nothing special at all. We’re pushing forward, to move the front line up a few feet. It’s gonna be just like the Battle of San fucking Pietro. They’re gonna sacrifice a hundred, two hundred, maybe more, just so they can gain some footing. That’s it. LOUISE (in disbelief) No, no... There’s no way they would do that. You’ve gotta be wrong; they’ve gotta have something else in mind.
4.
TOD No, I’m not. That’s it. Nothing else, nothing more. A few feet. That’s all we’re worth; that’s all your husband’s worth... We sacrifice ourselves so we can lure the enemy in. This ain’t no Red Badge of Courage, Louise. We won’t be gettin’ any awards... We’re decoys, baby. Bait. LOUISE But, but... That’s sickening. What about the guys that don’t know? Shouldn’t you tell them? Tell their wives, their friends, their families? TOD I can’t do that. LOUISE What do you mean you can’t do that, Tod?! You’ve got to do that. TOD No, Louise, I can’t. Those boys gotta die in peace. They gotta die thinking they did something.... If I let them know the truth--that it was for nothing, useless, meaningless... No. I can’t even think about it. They would tear themselves up inside. And that’s the last thing I wanna do to my brothers before they die.... LOUISE You can’t mean that,Tod. This isn’t a time to get fucking philosophical. You’ve gotta let them know--you’ve gotta! How can you do that to them? It’s horrible. TOD No, no, what’s really horrible... No, the truth is, I feel the worst for, pity, the soldiers who don’t know what’s coming. That’s what’s horrible. These are perfectly good guys that are going out there tomorrow, thinking they’re doing a service for their country, thinking they’re changing the world, making it safer... Yeah, you get those nutcases that join ‘cus they wanna go shoot people up, but that’s just the minority... The rest are good guys, great guys; guys that just love their country, and wanna protect it... And, tomorrow, they’re gonna go out there... and be slaughtered. LOUISE (once more, fighting back tears) Don’t even say that! That’s disgusting!
5.
TOD No, that’s not what’s disgusting, Louise. These are good, proud citizens that are doing what they feel they have to do, doing what they’ve been convinced is right. No, what’s really disgusting, what’s the most disgusting thing on this planet, are the fucking assholes doing the convincing, making the decisions, giving the orders... These guys are the real scum, the miserable slime on the bottom of your boot. (grinds an invisible insect into the floor) They convince us that there’s a “threat,” an “enemy” out there, and that we’ve gotta kill ‘em first, or they’ll kill us. Bull shit. That’s all it is, Louise. Bull shit. They’re taking advantage of these guys, of their desire to do what they think is right, to protect the people they love... And they’re exploiting it for their own advantage. M oney. Power. Fame... That’s all that these dirtbags think about. It’s the entire picture. It’s all that matters to them. (LOUISE stares at the ground, lost in rumination. Neither is sure of how to proceed.) LOUISE But, but... They, they attacked us. TOD ‘Cus we attacked them. We’re always told we’re fighting a defensive war, that they’re the aggressor, and we’re the just protector... But haven’t you noticed it’s always that way-throughout history? We’re always right; they’re always wrong... We attacked them first, Louise. It’s as simple as that. And if someone attacked my home; killed my friends, family, loved ones... I’d fight back too. LOUISE But fighting is different than sacrificing, Tod! You know you’re going out there to die. Die!... And, wha, what happened? You used to believe in this war! All you ever talked about was winniTOD -Because I didn’t understand... It’s unwinable. It just can’t be won... But, but they don’t care. That’s not what war’s about. War, to them, it’s profit. Plain and simple. So, just like profit, war should, can, never stop. And war never will stop, Louise. That’s the world we live in. War never ends... And they just keep asking for more. And they’ll get what they want.
6.
LOUISE How can you say that? How can you even possibly think all that? There’s no way they could get away withTOD -But they already have. Again and again and again and again and again... Why? ‘Cus no one questions them. No one complains. We’ve gotten used to it. An endless state of war. It just, never, stops... And, then, we enlist. We sign up in droves. We sign ourselves up, to fly around the world, meet new people--people just us, with families, and hopes, and dreams; people that just want to do what they think is right for their homeland... And then, we kill them. We kill them, Louise, and then we kill others... We kill everything that we see. We kill everything. (LOUISE’s eyes search for perjury, exaggeration, anything, in the pallid spheres glistening in TOD’s skull... but find nothing.) LOUISE I, I... I just don’t understand. Why, why fight if you don’t even believe in what you’re fighting for? It just doesn’t make sense! TOD But this is war. War doesn’t make sense. War defies logic, baby... So, I have to fight. I don’t have an option. LOUISE Don’t say that! You always have an option, always. TOD Oh, c’mon, you don’t really believe that, do you? That’s just a childhood fantasy. One of those things they pound in our heads when we’re kids... But it’s just not how things work. C’mon, deep down you really know that.
LOUISE Don’t... don’t, say that. TOD (angrily) I have to!
7.
(takes a deep breath; calmly) I’m a soldier, Louise. Death is my profession. (The two watch each other in silence. Beat.) LOUISE I, I... I thought you believed in this country... in your home... TOD I thought I did too... I used to. I believed more in my country than I did in anything else... But, now... Now, I’m not so sure... Wait, no. I am sure. I’m sure that my country is wrong. And I’m sure that war is wrong. LOUISE But, if the war is so wrong, if you don’t believe in it, then why not do something about it, try to stop it? Tell someone about? Tell everyone? TOD ‘Cus, I’m just one soldier. I’m powerless. Insignificant. Nothing... That’s the paradox, Louise. As individuals, we can’t do a thing. But, together, nothing can get done without us. We do the fighting; we do the defending. We do everything... (TOD begins pacing.) TOD But, unfortunately, I’m not we. I’m just me. And me just happens to be just another soldier... Just another nothing. LOUISE You can’t say that! “Nothing”? You can’t actually believe that! TOD There’s no believing involved. I am... At least to my commanders... And they’re nothing to their commanders... And to theirs... It’s a sick chain. A sick, and twisted chain... No one cares about who’s below them. It’s all a game; a vile, sadistic game, and, Luise, I’m just a pawn. LOUISE (head-swimming, trying to take it all in) I just, I... I just don’t understand how such an unjust war can happen... How, how, they could do it to us... M ake us support it--make us want to fight it...
8.
TOD That’s the thing. It’s not just this war--no not at all. It’s all wars, Louise. It’s war itself. That’s what’s wrong... And you can’t fix something that’s inherently broken. (TOD watches the ground, lost in thought.) TOD But, for those of us that question the system, that discover how wrong, how fucked-up it is... We just don’t matter. There are thousands, hundreds of thousands of people out there, most people out there, that do believe in it, and they can’t imagine that anything’s wrong--yet alone that the entire fucking system is built on crime... And they believe it just as much as I did. Enough to devote their lives to it... That’s what’s truly terrifying. ‘Cus I know how deep-seated that belief is. I felt it; I lived it... And, now, I’m gonna die by it. In spite of it. (Silence fills the room. TOD makes his way over to the corner of the table opposite of LOUISE, where he slowly sits.) TOD (pain-ridden, yet tender) And, you know what’s worst of all?... Friends. Family... They think you’ve just gone off the deep-end, gone crazy... They call you a lunatic; they call you a traitor... (He wrings his hands in silence.) TOD Things can never be the same, Louise. Never. (The two sit for a moment in deep, quiescent reflection. Presently, LOUISE quickly stands up, pushes her chair back, and returns to looking out of the window.) LOUISE (desperate) Then why don’t you just leave? Leave the Army! Run away. Go AWOL. I don’t know what the fuck they call it--just, let’s go! (sobbing; turning back to face her husband) You can’t do this to me, Tod; you can’t do this! You can’t leave me alone in this world.
9.
(motioning toward her distended abdomen; anger adding to the mix) And you can’t leave our child. Our child Tod... How can you leave him alone in the world? How can you let him grow up with... with... (trembling; unable to say it) Without a father. (TOD stares back in ineffable agony in. Beat.) TOD I just can’t Louise; I just can’t... I don’t expect you to understand. I don’t expect anyone to understand... Except another soldier... ‘Cus that’s what I am, Louise, a soldier. I can’t change that. It’s not the stupid paper contract. It’s not the law. It’s not even the fucking job... It’s who I am... And it happened long, long ago... I can’t turn back time, and become something else. This is where life led me. This is where I was meant to go... I couldn’t leave; Fate wouldn’t let me do that. I’d always come back, ‘cus I’d always be a soldier. (He gets out of the chair, and walks away from the table.) LOUISE (suddenly exploding; hopeless) Then I don’t care if you do go back--just don’t, don’t leave me now. You can’t. You can’t. Not today. Not tomorrow. Just, just not now! We have a whole future ahead of us, Tod! An entire future. A house, a family, a child... We’ll just, together, we’ll leave today, escape, and, and... I don’t, Tod. We’ll run away; we’ll just run away! Without looking back. We’ll move; we’ll hide. We’ll do whatever we have to do to get by. Please, just please! Don’t leave me! (LOUISE lunges forward to embrace her lover, yet he takes a step back. She meets only air, and falls pitifully onto all fours. The torrents of the ocular Great Flood begin to pour. Offstage, a phone begins to loudly ring.) TOD Don’t touch me. Just, just don’t... I’m polluted, poisoned... I’m incapable of loving anymore. Incapable of loving anything... I can’t... I just can’t... I can’t love with death on my mind, Louise. This isn’t the movies. Love doesn’t conquer all. I don’t know what it does conquer, if it even conquers anything, but, but no... Death conquers love.
10.
Death conquers all. And that’s the truth. The truth they don’t tell you in the movies. The truth they don’t tell you when you sign your life away at 18... When you kill someone, when you kill multiple someones, innocent someones... Love? After that, love?... You lose that privilege... Soldiers don’t deserve that privilege. And, honey, I’m a soldier. (Beat. The phone goes quiet.) TOD You know where that damn word even comes from? It’s not something they teach you in Basic Training... It came from Latin; meant “coin.” Give a Roman mercenary a coin, and he kills for ya... And, you know what, that meaning didn’t change. It carried on through history. Why? ‘Cus things didn’t change, Louise... Things don’t change... In the M iddle Ages, it still meant coin, shilling, whatever the hell it was they used... I don’t know what they called ‘em before that, but it doesn’t matter. We’ve lost our name. We deserved to. (LOUISE’s lips move, as if she is about to say something, yet she returns to watch him in silence, a look of supreme agony on her face.) TOD That’s what we, all us soldiers are: mercenaries... I’m a mercenary. I said it... And that means I’m a whore... But we’re all whores. Each and every one of us. Businessmen, bankers, teachers, cooks, doctors... We all sell our services for money. And, regardless of how strong we are, regardless of how smart we are, or how strong our morals and convictions are, when it comes down to it, everyone of us, every one, will sell themself to the highest bidder... As soldiers, we like to think that by fighting for our government, by fighting for our country, we’re different... But are we really? Every country in the world has fought an unjust war. All of ‘em. They’ve just got the money to throw around... If the government hires us to go kill some poor people in some country on the opposite side of the globe, it’s okay; if some guy hires us to do the same thing, it’s assassination, murder. Why is that? Why is that okay? When are people gonna wake up and see that their governments aren’t different than the people hiring hitmen? When are people gonna wake up and see that their government’s just the pimp of all us whores, the pimp of all those hitmen?...When are people, people just like me, just like you, gonna wake up--wake up and see that none of these fights are justified? That all of this fighting is just based on lies?! (The hush of the evening. Beat.)
11.
TOD I can’t change anything. Not alone. And I will always be alone. I’m a soldier... So, I’m gonna die. I’m going to go out there and die, Louise. And no one will swat an eyelid. Nothing will change. It’s my destiny. LOUISE (through torrential tears; still on the ground, begging and pleading) Please, Tod, please. At the very least, can’t you just hold me? Just come here and hold me... One last time... TOD I... I’m... No. I can’t even do that. I’m a tainted man, Louise, a tainted man. War, violence, death... They all change you; turn you into something you weren’t before... And, truth is, they’ve changed me. I’m not the man you knew before; I’m not the Tod you married... I’m not even the person I was yesterday... This is the Tod I’ve become. The Tod that No One Knows. He’s the one who’s going to die tomorrow. He’s the one whose corpse will be carved into pieces for nothing... Nothing... He’s the empty casket you’ll soon, very soon be putting into the cold, dark ground... (Beat.) TOD Our world is merciless, Louise... It doesn’t have to be that way, but it is... And I’m going to die tomorrow. I’m going to die, and it’s going to do nothing to change that. Absolutely nothing... A real soldier... (Beat. TOD turns to leave.) TOD I hope you get some sleep tonight. I won’t be in bed. I’ll be catching up tomorrow... Until then, I’ve got a sunset to watch. (He walks calmly out of the kitchen without looking back. LOUISE remains sobbing on the ground.) TOD (O.S.) And maybe a sunrise. CURTAIN