CHARACTER NAM E
BRIEF DESCRIPTION
AGE
TIGER TURTLE PENGUIN RHINOCEROS BAT RABBIT M AN IN SUIT
An adult dressed in a tiger costume An adult dressed in a turtle costume An adult dressed in a penguin costume An adult dressed in a rhinoceros costume An adult dressed in a bat costume An adult dressed in a rabbit costume A man in a suit
16+ 16+ 16+ 16+ 16+ 16+ 50ish
A stock exchange board hangs on the wall backstage. It’s a bear market right now; red characters abound. Adults dressed as a TIGER, an TURTLE, a PENGUIN, a RHINOCEROS, a BAT, and a RABBIT stand around. Living. Beat. Suddenly, Naked City’s “Bonehead” sounds, deafeningly. The animals begin to scamper around—frenetically so, as if their lives depended on it. After 35 SECONDS, an exquisitely dressed M AN (pressed suit, silk tie, golden watch, snakeskin boots, the whole shebang), suitcase in hand, walks onto stage. He sticks his hand in his briefcase and pulls something out... It’s a gun. In one smooth motion, he raises the gun and—at 51 seconds, exactly as the song ends—he shoots each and every person on stage. Their lives did depend on it. After the last lifeless body falls to the floor, the man stands still, silent, as if admiring his work. Beat. He slowly puts the barrel up, perpendicular to his mouth, and blows. He places the gun in his suitcase. He wipes his forehead, exhales loudly, and loosens his collar a bit, trying to cool himself. He walks off stage, fanning himself as he does so. From the look of the board, it’s a bull market now; green characters fly. CURTAIN