Constructing an Adult Life Chapter 10
Emerging Adulthood Testing out different possibilities and developing self – Not a universal life stage; only exists for a some young people – Begins after high school and tapers off by late twenties
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Facets Studied • What is it? • Physical Development • Markers of Adulthood • Challenges • Work and College • Substance Abuse • Relationships
Physical Development • Peak physical performance: 19-26 • What happens at 30? – Muscle tone, strength, metabolism, energy = decline – Skin & eyes loose elasticity – Fatty tissue increases Develop healthy eating habits and exercise routine now!
Becoming An Adult Defined By: • Identity exploration • Instability • Self-focused • Feeling in-between Age of possibilities: a time when individuals have an opportunity to transform their lives
Markers Of Becoming An Adult 3 Key Features: Accepting Responsibility, Supporting Yourself, Making Your Own Independent Decisions About Life • Most Prevalent Marker: Holding Full Time Employment (US) • At 25, only slightly more than half do not live with parents • Taking responsibility for oneself: taking responsibility for actions & developing emotional control • Developing Countries? – Marriage (and it happens much sooner than the US)
Challenges And Changes This stage of life is typically considered the most challenging and change-inducing stage of life based on: • The need to re-center life roles – focusing on responsibility, supporting self, and making independent decisions about life • The change to an unstructured path (e.g., college, independent living, work world, as opposed to the previously highly structured environment of adolescence)
Culture and History – –
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Emerging adulthood has changed with developed world. Emerging adults are prolonging decisions on careers and marriage, therefore postponing adults’ roles. This is due to: Life expectancy gains: People now live into their seventies or eighties, as opposed to sixties a half-century ago. This offers emerging adults the luxury of postponing adult commitments until later. Changes in education and workforce: A half-century ago (1960s), high school graduates could successfully enter the workforce. Now, most go to college, typically spending about 6 years in college before entering the workforce. Cultural norms focusing on self-expression: Emerging adults are focusing more on self, thus making dramatic life changes throughout adult life.
Beginning and End Points Entry point à nest leaving – Does leaving home produce better parent−child relationships? • Research says yes. Relationship improves due to adult-to-adult conversations, etc.
– Does leaving home make people more adult? • Research says yes. However, the expected independence does not necessarily develop. Tends to be a Western society tradition. May be impacted by economic issues and culture.
End Point: The Ticking of the Social Clock Shared age norms that act as guideposts to what behaviors are appropriate at particular ages; usually set by society ü On-time – matching the normal timetable ü Off-time – too early or too late of the normal timetable
Are we on-time (on schedule) or off-time (either too early or too late) for what we−and society−expect at our age? – Being off-time in the late direction can cause physical and mental stress. For example, beginning career late or marrying late. – Another issue is the lack of control regarding some of these developmental tasks. For example, wanting to marry at a typical age with no significant relationship.
Constructing Identity à Erikson’s Psychosocial Stage Identity versus Role Confusion ü Identity – the life task of deciding who to be as a person in making the transition to adulthood ü Indentity confusion – a failure in identify formation, marked by the lack of sense of a future adult path ü Moratorium – taking time out to explore various paths; Erikson believed this moratorium was crucial to building a solid adult identity
Work and College • 1/3 life spent at work • Working during college à school work declines • Unemployment • Underemployment • Dual-earner couples: DINKS
Finding A Career • Research à every teenager expects to go to college ü Positive Side: this ambition and high expectations can help teens avoid delinquent behaviors, depression, and dropping out of school. ü Negative Side: many will not reach their ambitions due to barriers such as economic factors
• One key to predicting a successful transition to a career is the teen’s interest in work vs. those only interested in playing
Emerging Into Adulthood Without A College Degree • 2/3 U.S. high school graduates enrol in college • By mid-twenties only 30% have completed a BS or BA degree • Those who do not complete college have difficulty constructing a middleclass life
• Those not attending college can have fulfilling careers, and often have other types of intelligence (practical or creative intelligence). ü
Examples of these non−college graduates include Bill Gates and Woody Allen.
Why Do Emerging Adults Drop Out Of School? • Not “college material” • Low SES • Most did plan to return – If they don’t return, if they demonstrate good work ethic and are intelligent, they can find success
Recommendations For Dealing With College Issues • Have a total ballpark costs for attending before enrolling • Have counselors/advisors to help incoming freshman • Change our emphasis on college as the only way to achieve success • Focus on School to Work transition
Substance Abuse 80% of college students drink • • • •
Binge Drinking: 5 or more drinks in a row at least Extreme Binge Drinking: 10 or more drinks in a row Peaks Age 21-22 Causes: missing class, falling behind in school, missing work, unprotected/unplanned sex, causing a ruckus
Pregaming/Prepartying: drinking before you go out • 2/3 students pre-party before at least once in two weeks • Causes a ruckus
Drinking games: beer pong, waterfall, battle shots, ect. . . . • Causes a ruckus
SEX and Dating
(the Good)
• • • •
Age 18: only 60% had sex / Age 25: most have had sex Average marriage age: 28 Males/26 Females Casual sex is king! Link between sex and life satisfaction à the more the better! Sexual Orientation? • Once thought: only straight or gay, but now: we have bi • Combination of genetic, hormonal, cognitive, environmental factors à no one factor alone
SEX and Dating
(the Bad)
STI: Contracted though intercourse, oral-genital, anal-genital, oral-anal • 1 in 6 • Totally preventable: Know your partner, Get tested! Rape: Forcible sexual intercourse without consent • 1 out of 6 women are victims of an attempted/completed rape • Male Rapists à aggression, angry, want to hurt, humiliate, control victims • US Rape Culture Sexual Harassment: Inappropriate sexual remarks, physical contact, blatant propositions and sexual assaults • 1 in 3 women = crude jokes, remarks, gestures
Finding Love Erikson's Psychosocial Stage ü Intimacy
vs. Isolation
Intimacy – the search for a soul mate or enduring love Finding a mate is a Western value.
Changes In Finding A Mate Interracial/interethnic dating P Strong identification with racial group and/or ethnicity is a strong predicator to choosing a same-race/ethnicity mate Same-sex relationships are much more acceptable P Homophobia à Less common but still prevalent
Factors Affecting Relationships • Irrationality and Unpredictability • Adult Attachment Styles
Irrationality And Unpredictability People in more enduring, happy relationships see their loved ones through rose-colored glasses Review of many research studies of regarding the dating years indicates several predicators: • Strongest predicator – being intensely committed to one’s mate • Idealizing your partner • Support of family and friends
The Impact of Personality: Adult Attachment Styles Based on Ainsworth’s infant attachment styles, Hazan and Shaver (1987) examined adult attachment styles:
Preoccupied/ambivalent (insecure) – Clingy; needy; over-engulfing
Avoidant/dismissive (insecure) – Withholding; aloof; distant
Securely attached – Joyfully able to reach out in love – Responsive to a mate’s signals – More likely to have happy marriages or be involved in enduring relationships
Attachment Issues Self-fulfilling prophecies help keep attachment styles stable ü Clingy
à Rejected ü Avoidant à Remain Isolated ü A secure individual lives in an atmosphere of love
Still, attachment styles can and do change Being in a loving relationship can make us secure ü After experiencing a traumatic love affair, we can temporarily become insecure ü
Relationships and Roles Chapter 11
Robin Lee, Middle Tennessee State University
The United States: Dreaming of Marriage for Life Despite high divorce rates, young people still want to marry. P 8 out of 10 report want to marry, same as past research Although the desire may be marriage, more consideration is given to certain fundamentals: – Personal goals – Sense of identify established – Financially stability
High non-marriage rates among low-income adults is partly due to economic barriers: “I need to get it together financially before it’s right to wed.”
Staying in a marriage for a lifetime has been elevated to a badge of achievement.
Ups and Downs of the Marital Pathway • Marriage begins with high expectations, after which disenchantment sets in. • Happiness is at its peak during the honeymoon. • Satisfaction rapidly slopes downward, and then tends to decline more slowly or level out around year 4. • If a couple can get past the first 4 years, they have passed the main divorce danger zone
Couple Communications and Happiness
Happy couples…
– Engage in a higher ratio of positive to negative comments. P Caring, loving comments must outweigh critical. – Don’t get personal when they disagree. P Unhappy couples personalize their conflicts, often using put-downs and sarcasm. – Are sensitive to their partner’s need for “space.” P Interactions that begin with attempted discussions of concern, leading to disgust, then contempt
Commitment As The Key To Relationship Success • Being dedicated to the partner’s “inner growth” • Sanctifying one’s desires for partner’s joy • Don’t see sacrifice as a negative • Forgiveness is key. • Sacrificing must be reciprocal.
Facts About Divorce Most weigh the costs vs. the benefits. • Finances are typically a concern. (Can I support my family financially?) • How will the divorce affect the children?
Separation can cause overload of changes (e.g., need to move, better paying job, legal hassles, telling loved ones). Communication problems tend to be the most cited cause of divorce. While other problems can exist, an extra-marital affair may push couples toward divorce.
Can Divorce Be Positive? • Can produce emotional growth due to “making” it on their own • It can be a relief for some who were unhappy. • Negative can be disengagement of fathers through lack of contact or not paying child support • Stepparents can face challenges with discipline or lack of connection to stepchildren.
The Changing Context of Parenthood – More possibilities to enjoy this pivotal life-role for a huge variety of nontraditional families – The freedom to choose not to be parents – There is no evidence that people who choose not to have children are narcissistic or unhappy. – Parenthood is not NECESSARY to live a full life.
The Transition to Parenthood Longitudinal studies of couples’ relationships show: P Parenthood makes couples less intimate and happy P Parenthood tends to produce more traditional (and conflict-ridden) marital roles P Good prior relationship is key to adjusting well P One Caution à Do not consider having a baby to improve their marriage
Work: The Changing Landscape
Shifts in the U.S. career landscape • More career changes • More job insecurity • Longer working hours
The idea that American workers’ work ethic has suffered is false. Both women and men are putting more hours in per week at their jobs than their parents or grandparents.
Why are we working longer? • Cut-throat economy, competitive pressures • Technology, which can offer flexibility − for example, telecommuting can be beneficial to some. One problem, more flexibility has resulted increased work hours due to being “on” 24/7.
Exploring Career Success And Happiness • High self-esteem as a teenager translates into higher earning power in the future • Education also improves economic success • Support from others after college and/or in adulthood can also lead to success
How Do You Find Career Happiness? 1) Find a career that matches your personality 2) Find an optimal workplace
Matching Career To Your Personality According to John Holland (1997), the closer we get to our ideal personality−career fit, the more satisfied and successful we will be at our jobs
Find An Optimal Workplace U.S. workers agree on what constitutes an ideal job situation: 1. Decisions-making abilities 2. Caring colleagues 3. Organizations that are sensitive to worker needs
Ideally, we are looking for: – –
Work that is fulfilling External reinforcements like prestige and salary; less important, but still desired
Forces that impair intrinsic satisfaction: – –
Role overload Role conflict
Midlife Chapter 12
Midlife This stage typically runs from forties to the fifties – Research found that half of people in their sixties and early seventies consider themselves middleaged – Characterized by diversity regarding lifestyles and perceptions – A 40-year-old with a chronic age-related disease might call be considered “old.” Where an 80-yearold who is still at the peak of her career might consider herself middle-aged.
Facets Studied • Are We Happier with Age? • Markers of Middle Age • Grandparents • Care Giver • Body Image and Sex
Do we get more mature and happier with age? “Yes” – People with no major negative life events are more distressed than adults who have experienced a few traumatic events – After a certain stress threshold (about three major events), additional traumas do impair mental health – Research indicates that maximum life happiness is in our early sixties.
Middle Age Markers • • • •
More Reliable and Agreeable Priorities shift à Generative More Mature Grow to be Happier
Grandparenthood • Mission: To Care – Can serve as mentors to “at-risk” children – Act as mediators – Cement that keeps the family close • Gender has an impact P Women tend to be more active grandparents than men • Proximity • This role can be incredibly fulfilling but also troublesome. . . .
Grandparent Problems • Spoiling and Interfering • Risk being cut off from visits • Divorce can impact on the grandparent’s access to grandchildren • Grandmothers may sometimes be over-involved • Caregiving grandmothers have increased in recent decades. P Full-time parenting role due to child’s serious problems P Low-socioeconomic status
Adult Caregivers • Parent care à adult children care for their disabled
elderly parents • Typically occurs in the fifties, when there can also be pressure to take care of grandchildren • Myth à Collective Cultures are “happy” to care for aging parents • Some may still be dealing with pressures of a full-time job too
Redemption Sequence à giving children the chance to repay a beloved mother or father for years of care
Body Image, and Sex A myth is that middle-aged people may feel worse about our bodies in midlife
• Female changes:
– Reach peak in the thirties – Physiologically, there are far fewer changes, but many women give up having sex due to not having a partner
• Male changes:
– Trouble getting and keeping an erection – Not able to have sex more than once in a 24-hour period – Reason for sales of erection-stimulating drugs