Power of Forgiveness

To err is human, but to forgive is devine” - Alexander Pope

POWER OF FORGIVENESS

by Ashley Bronkie-Kight

Forgiveness is generally defined by psychologists as “a conscious deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you regardless of whether they actually deserve it.”~ Berkeley Edu.

Forgiveness can mean different things to different people. No matter how varied the definitions, the act of forgiving is one of the most challenging, yet most liberating feelings that we can experience. Forgiveness brings with it a peace of mind as it frees the forgiver from corrosive anger and unyielding bitterness. True forgiveness does not erase an occurrence or a consequence, nor does it condone or excuse an offence. It simply empowers you to recognize the anguish caused by an injury without allowing the pain to dictate your behavior or stifle positive progression in your life.

On the contrary, failing to forgive can be damaging to your mental and physical health. It can impact communication skills, thinking abilities, and decision making abilities. Unaddressed and delayed negative emotions can ultimately lead to depression, anxiety, short-temperament, and sleeplessness. In other words, harboring unforgiveness can leave you wounded and stagnant. Sometimes, people who have been emotionally damaged and have not expressed their feelings or resolved their pain, are vulnerable to hurting others. Hence the old adage, “hurt people hurt people.”

The idea of forgiveness may seem simple; however, it can be a very emotional and complex process, especially for trauma survivors. Many victims may feel the pressures to forgive when they are told that their healing depends on it. Forgiving an abuser or a neglectful bystander is a very personal decision and victims should never be pressured to do so.

Many people who have been victimized wrongfully hold themselves responsible for their offenders actions. They trudge through life carrying the burdens of self-blame and shame on their shoulders. They hold themselves hostage by refuting to forgive themselves when in reality there is nothing to forgive themselves for.

The act that hurt or offended you may always be a part of your story, but extending forgiveness can lessen the effects and free you from the control of the person or persons that harmed you. Ghandi said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” You are strong. Strong enough to acknowledge your pain, strong enough to forgive yourself, and strong enough to forgive others. Life is intended to be a constant cycle of growth and evolution. The ill actions of others towards you should not be permitted to interrupt your innate ability to expand and mature. When we practice the art of forgiveness individually, we recognize that we all have caused others hurt and harm in some capacity. It is inevitable in this human realm; however, forgiveness sees wisely. It willingly acknowledges what is unjust, harmful, and wrong then it bravely releases mercy towards the undeserving.