Grey Matter by helenegrastveit

Grey Matter Coverspread Sheet: 1 - File: cover-spread.pdf

Stories & interviews about anxiety

Grey Matter

Candid stories about mental health & things that really matter

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READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED Grey matter contains most of the brainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s neuronal cell bodies. The grey matter includes regions of the brain involved in muscle control, and sensory perception such as seeing and hearing, memory, emotions, speech, decision making, and self-control.

The aim of this magazine is to tell other stories and my own with honesty. Therefore, some articles may trigger an adverse reaction. If an article or visuals are beginning to upset you, I advise that you please stop reading it immediately and talk to your support team.

Contributions

Publisher & Editor-in-Chief

Special thanks to...

Helene Grastveit helenegrastveit@icloud.com

Anders Marcussen Andrew Tucker Angela Buttolph Cassandra Grodd Counselling Directory Dr. David Codyre Emma C. Fischer Floatworks Jack Fontes Justyna Krawczyk Karina Værstad Kathryn Wheeler Kristina H. Mo Laura J. Giardinelli Mary Wyszomierska Miriam L. Eidesen Molly Codyre Natalie Galagan Nora El. Grastveit Sophie Winfield Rosie Smith Virginia L. Gago

Graphic Designer Prae Thompson praethompson13@gmail.com

Contributing photographers Stalin Marimuthu stalinergizer@hotmail.com Anders Marcussen, Iasmina Panduru, Jack Fontes, Laura Jane Giardinelli * If the pictures are not credited they have been provided by Unsplash

Cover Photography by Stalin Marimuthu Graphic design done by Stalin Marimuthu and Prae Thompson Model: Virginia Lopez Gago

Contributing writers

… and to my flatmates and family

Emma Fischer , Karina Værstad, Kathryn Wheeler, Kristina H. Mo, Miriam L. Eidesen

Printed by: London College of Fashion Media Lab Mixam UK

Contents

The Stories The Clarification The Lifestyle The Collection

9 What is Anxiety?

35 High-functioning Anxiety at work

63 Why is self-care important?

97 Treasure hunt for happiness

13 My Story

37 How to get organised

71 My job gave me anxiety

99 What makes you happy?

17 Tips for a better night sleep

39 Smiling

75 Breathe. Exhale. Repeat.

105

21 Crossword

47 The Therapy Paradox

79 Blue space

107 Fit from the inside-out

22 Find the word

51 Therapy without a therapist

85 What are healing crystals

111 Coloring

23 Unlock the door for a better life

55 We asked the expert

91 Floating

29 Relax

59 Why I choose to see a psychologist

95 There is a bully in my head

My religious upbringing led me to depression

Editor’s Letter With the recent rise of mental health discussions, a statement that frequently makes an appearance – more often than not from the lips of somebody from an older generation – is “it’s your generation, it never used to be a problem when we were growing up.” I wouldn’t know. All I know is that it seems to be more common than people might think. Unless you have personally experienced any form of mental health issues it´s really hard to understand the constant internal challenge that people go through.

You need to know yourself to understand other people. It wasn’t until I experienced anxiety and panic attacks myself, that I was able to develop better understanding of the topic of mental health, which improved my capacity to better understand the thoughts and feelings of other people. Grey Matter was created on the basis of just this – providing family and friends with information to expand their knowledge on a topic that for some, is considered taboo. This issue tackles anxiety and depression. Topics that in my opinion, have been filled with unnecessary shame and misconception. Vol. 1 gives you the stories from young women, to demonstrate that all stories are unique.

At page 99 we asked kids to draw a picture and explain what makes them happy, for me the answer would have been to play outside.

We speak with the experts to get clarification on what the word anxiety really means and how you can help yourself and others who may be suﬀering. Grey Matter looks at diﬀerent tips and guidelines for you to make small changes that will positively impact your mental health and overall lifestyle. This issue of Grey Matter is about celebrating the brave women who have spoken up about their journey in the hope of helping others and for those that make us feel that we are not alone.

Anxiety

Brought to you by Counselling Directory

WHAT IS ANXIETY?

ANXIETY DISORDERS

The word anxiety can be scary and confusing for many. Today, the word anxiety is getting more known then ever, as more people choose to be open about their mental health issues. In order for you to get a better understanding of what anxiety is, it´s symptoms and how to treat it, Grey Matter spoke to Counselling Directory. Anxiety is used to describe feelings of worry, fear and unease. Typically, it incorporates both the emotional and physical sensations we experience when worried or nervous. Anxiety is related to the ‘fight or flight’ response and, while unpleasant, this is a normal reaction when our body perceives a threat.

Anxiety can make you imagine things are worse than they are and prevent you from carrying out everyday tasks or even leaving the house. Whereas stress is something that will come and go, anxiety can aﬀect a person even if the cause is unclear. When under stress, our ‘fight or flight’ response will turn on. This acts as an internal alarm system, designed to protect us from danger in the wild. These days, we can recognise this system through the ‘butterflies in the stomach’ we feel when we’re nervous. Anxiety, however, may cause this response to be activated at inappropriate moments. You may feel this during normal, non-threatening situations.

There are several types of anxiety disorder - we’ve listed some of the most common ones here. For more information about each one, click the links below for specific help and advice.

ANXIETY SYMPTOMS While feeling anxious is a natural response, suffering from anxiety long-term can be very intense. Anxiety will affect individuals differently, however, there are common symptoms listed below.

rapid and/or irregular heartbeat fast breathing sweating nausea dizziness trouble sleeping feeling irritable lack of concentration panic attacks

We will all feel anxious at some time and it’s very common to feel tense or unsure about a potentially stressful situation, such as an exam, starting a new job, or moving home. However, some of us will be aﬀected more than others. Despite being a normal experience, if these feelings are very strong or are lasting a long time, it can be overwhelming.

While some will know what causes their anxiety; after experiencing a traumatic event, for example, others will not have such an identifiable reason. Not knowing the cause of anxiety can sometimes cause a person to experience further distress - if they don’t know the trigger, how can they overcome it?

This fact-sheet will help you understand anxiety as a mental health problem and when to seek help. We will explore the common anxiety disorders and the treatment available, including anxiety counselling. 9

Health anxiety is a condition that is often linked with OCD and phobias. Those aﬀected by health anxiety have an obsessional preoccupation with the idea that they are currently (or will be) experiencing a physical illness. It’s very common to experience anxiety alongside other mental health conditions. For instance, you may be experiencing depression and anxiety at the same time. If this is the case, you may be given a mixed diagnosis.

Generalised anxiety disorder - If you often feel anxious or fearful, but not anxious about a specific event or experience, you may be diagnosed with GAD. Typically, these feelings are related to everyday tasks, such as stress at home or work, but other times Eco-anxiety you may not know why you’re feeling anxious. Eco-anxiety is a relatively new term used to describe intense worry about climate change. For some, thinking about the future of Panic disorder - If you experience seemingly unpredictable our planet takes up a lot of head space, causing anxiety and even panic attacks, and are unable to identify a trigger, you may be depression. A survey carried out for the Recycling Partnership diagnosed with panic disorder. Symptoms include shortness of revealed that 96% of respondants are worried about climate change, breath, feeling faint and trembling. with one in four saying it was their biggest fear. If you think you have eco-anxiety, you may benefit from talking “My vision went black and blue like I was on a really fast roller therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy. It can also help to coaster. My heart was thumping out of my chest and I dropped think about what positive change you can make to your lifestyle to my knees.” to reduce your impact on the planet. This may include reducing your meat intake or avoiding single-use plastic. There are many - Brez describes his first experience of a panic attack. ways we can all make a diﬀerence. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) - After experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event, and experiencing flashbacks or nightmares, you may be diagnosed with PTSD. These reactions can make you feel like you’re reliving the fear and anxiety over and over again.

Anxiety in children Children have worries and anxieties, just as adults do. Some children are more prone to worries and anxiety than others - only you know what is normal behaviour for your child. For more information about supporting a child who is dealing Phobias - A phobia is an intense fear of something - no matter with anxiety, you can visit our fact-sheets: how dangerous or threatening it may be to you. Coming into close contact with the feared situation may cause you to feel anxious. In Depression and anxiety in children some cases, even the thought of said situation can trigger anxiety. Separation anxiety Social anxiety is one example of a phobia. Some people experience this as butterflies in the stomach before a social occasion. But, for others, it’s a crippling fear of even leaving the house. Read Happiful’s tips on how to cope with and overcome social anxiety. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) - OCD comprises of obsessional thoughts followed by compulsive urges. The obsessions are recurring urges, thoughts or images that can cause you to feel anxious. Compulsions are the actions or thoughts that you feel the need to do or repeat. Compulsions are typically a response to ease the anxiety of an obsession.

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO SEEK HELP?

Anxiety is a problem that can get worse if the stressors continue to build up. People may feel ashamed to ask for help or believe that it’s not ‘that big a problem’, thus covering their feelings and dealing with it alone. It’s important to know that you deserve support and, as lonely as you feel, people care. If you’re not comfortable talking to a loved one, there are many other platforms available. Online support groups and anxiety counselling give you the opportunity to talk to people who understand you.`

TREATMENT FOR ANXIETY

TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

If you are experiencing anxiety, it’s important that you contact your doctor. They can assess your feelings and symptoms, and discuss a suitable treatment option. Anxiety treatment aims to reduce symptoms and teach you coping methods - so that you can manage feelings before they become too severe. There are many treatment options available, though which one/s your GP oﬀers will depend on your diagnosis. According to the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), you should be oﬀered a talking treatment before prescribing medication.

Self-care goes hand in hand with looking after your mental health. Learning techniques and methods to help you manage your anxiety can really make a diﬀerence. It's important to not let the fear of your anxiety rule your life and having some self-care methods in place can help you cope with symptoms.

Anxiety counselling

Talk to someone

Stay active and eat healthily

Counselling for anxiety is one form of treatment. Talking to a counsellor can help in many ways, including helping you understand what may be causing your anxiety, and teaching you coping techniques. There are many types of talking therapies available, though the most commonly prescribed is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Cognitive behavioural therapy aims to help you manage problems by enabling you to recognise how your thoughts aﬀect both your feeling and behaviour. CBT combines two approaches; examining your thoughts and the way you behave. This helps to break any overwhelming problems down into smaller, more manageable tasks.

Talking to someone you trust can ease the pressure and will often give you a sense of relief. It's easy to keep our feelings to ourselves, but talking to a friend, family member or even a professional can be so beneficial. Whether they can oﬀer advice or simply listen, talking to someone can remind you that people care - even when it feels like you’re on your own.

Coﬀee, alcohol and cigarettes are stimulants and may cause you to feel worse, or make it diﬃcult for you to relax. Staying active and moving your body may help you manage your anxiety as it’s an opportunity to release any stress and refocus. You don’t have to follow a strict diet or a tough workout regime, but eating healthy foods and staying active can improve overall well-being.

Focus on your breathing

Consider complementary therapies

When feeling anxious or the onset of a panic attack, it’s easy to forget simple things, like breathing. But taking a moment to focus solely on your breath can calm you and help you manage the anxiety. Try breathing deeply through your nose for four seconds. Exhale through your mouth for another four, keeping your shoulders relaxed. Continue this until your feelings pass.

Complementary therapies such as yoga, meditation, massage and aromatherapy focus on relaxation. There are many therapies available, so if you find it diﬃcult to relax on your own, see if one of these work for you. Improving relaxation can also improve sleep, and help you manage your symptoms more eﬀectively.

Mindfulness for anxiety Mindfulness exercises for anxiety can help you manage symptoms. The aim of mindfulness is to develop your awareness of the present moment. It can teach you to be more appreciative, self-compassionate and non-judgemental. Mindfulness can help you gain greater clarity on your surroundings, which can help you recognise what triggers your anxiety and how to deal with them eﬀectively. It's been an uphill struggle and I've still a long way to go. But, one thing I do find that helps, is writing.

Record Recording your feelings and what happens every time you feel anxious can help you become more aware of your triggers. Recording when, what, and how the anxiety attacks come on can help you understand how to cope with future situations. Be sure to record successfully managed experiences with your anxiety too, this can act as a reminder that you are in control.

Join a support group Joining a support group - either online or face-to-face - can give you the opportunity to talk to people who share similar experiences. Talking about the challenges you face and sharing what you’re going through can remind you that you’re not alone, and help is available.

For more information about anxiety, visit Counselling Directory.

My story Photography by Laura J. Giardinelli Edited by Nora E. Grastveit

I had lived in London for over two years before it hit me – my first panic attack followed by daily feelings of anxiety and unrest. Although my story is not unique, I have decided to share it with you because I want you to understand why I decided to make this magazine and, ultimately, for you to know that you are not alone.

It was a day in late September, I was on the underground on my way to my first day back at university after a three-month long summer holiday. It was my first commute from my new house. The closer I got to the underground station, the more people started to pile up. Before I knew it, I found myself becoming part of a human conveyor belt just to get down the stairs until I finally managed to get to the platform. Everyone around me was moving at a fast pace, packed trains passing every 30 seconds, it’s warm and dusty and I feel like I’m trying to breathe in a sauna that’s got its temperature turned up a little too high. I chose to get into the last wagon, hoping for more space. The door closes and I find myself trapped in a fast moving metal box, with more than 1000 other passengers. The tube suddenly comes to a halt, stuck between two stations, and we were told that the train was waiting for a green signal to continue travelling. My pulse rate increases and my hands are feeling clammy. I start to feel dizzy and nauseas. Thirty seconds feels like ten minutes. After what felt like a decade, the train starts moving and we pull into the next station. Not the station I was getting oﬀ at, but it didn’t matter. I push all the commuters away and I can feel myself running out of the station, without understanding why. I keep running until I can´t even see the station behind me anymore. A wave of emotions comes over me while I tried to catch my breath. My hands were shaking, I felt sick and confused. As I was taking the time to gather my thought and started to walk over to my university it all just went away, and suddenly I felt fine again, as if nothing had happened. Later the same day it happened again, but this time in the classroom. The next day it happened twice, and I decided to go home. My first immediate thought was, “Am I pregnant?”. As I walked home, feeling confused and stressed I picked up a pregnancy test. The test was negative, which should’ve made me feel better but really just made me feel more stressed and confused, even though I knew there was no chance I could even be pregnant. That same evening I walked downstairs to talk with my flatmates. I remember seeing them and just breaking down in tears. It felt like I was hyperventilating. They didn´t understand anything, and they probably thought someone close to me had died or something. They kept on asking what was going on but I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say, as I didn’t even know what was going on myself. Some time passed and I was finally able to calm down, but I still didn’t have any words to explain what was happening. Nothing made sense to me, and I didn’t know how to express what was going on in my head.

Later that night, I called a close friend of mine, who happened to be finishing up her degree in psychology. She asked me if there was any way I could try to talk through the whole scenario with her. I tried but I still couldn’t put any words to my thoughts. I was constantly crying without knowing why. She was being quiet but present, listening while I tried to explain. I go silent and she says, “I don´t mean to scare you, and I am not diagnosing you, but it seems to me like you’ve suﬀered from a panic attack, and are going through some anxiety.” She went on to explain what this meant and her reasoning. One thing that still sticks with me to this day is when she said, “now that you know, it will probably occur even more often.” I had so many thoughts going though my head, while trying to fight oﬀ feelings of fear and anxiousness. She gave my tips that might help me prevent, or at least decrease the amount of panic attacks; walk rather than take public transport, listen to a podcast rather than music, get enough rest and try to have a stable daily routine.

Walking with a podcast in my ears was what helped me get out of the house. Allowing my thoughts to focus on something else, and on someone else rather than myself. Time went by but I would still have panic attacks on weekly basis, and was struggling with anxiety on the daily. My life consisted of routine and little sleep. In a big city like London you would almost always have to travel to meet anyone, so unless my friends came to my place I wouldn’t meet them. Regardless of how much or little I did, I was constantly tired. The idea of being around big crowds made me nervous, which made me not want to leave the house even more. My friend told me to try out exposure therapy. Exposure therapy meant exposing myself to the anxiety source or its context without the intention to cause any danger. In my case, taking any form of public transport.

The idea of traveling on the tube would make me anxious even the night before. My morning A couple of days later, I decided would be ruined. It would take to call my sister. I felt it was me five minutes to walk to the important to tell at least one station. The closer I got, the family member. I remember more anxious I would become. I sitting on the floor in my room could feel my heart rate increastrying to figure out how to tell ing and my hands would start her. She picked up the phone and I immediately started crying. sweating. It was almost like my brain would go blank. Most of I cried for half an hour before I was able to complete a sentence. the time I couldn´t remember anything that was going through She stayed calm while she tried to calm me down. My sister oﬀered my mind, only the feeling of discomfort. to travel to London, but I remember thinking that it would not help, that this was something I would need to try to sort through The frustration and feelings would often occur after I tried to myself and find my own solution. push myself. Getting annoyed, angry and upset that something

“now that you know, it will probably occur even more often.”

so stupid would affect my whole day. Something that I knew was just thing. My mum said, “can you please try to explain what is going in my head, an irrational thought that I couldn’t seem to get rid of. though your head right now? We don´t know how to fix this.” My answer was simple “I can´t because I don´t know and if I did I I went home for Christmas with the mind-set of being as open and would not have these panic attacks”. honest with everyone I knew – and I did. I found it helpful to talk about it, with both friends and family. The most common response Over time I´ve learned strategies to help me live with anxiety, I got was, “how can someone like you struggle with anxiety and which means that significantly less panic attacks. It took me more panic attacks?” A question I still cannot answer. then six months to get back to “normal” life, where I was okay with with the idea of traveling around In being more open, I was surLondon. Having said that, I am prised with not only the love conscious and I have good days and support I received, but the and bad days. With time I´ve return of openness. It was almost learned what triggers me and what like people thought that if I could clams me down, which days I can share my struggles then they push myself and which days I have could share theirs without feeling to allow myself to say no. I learnt ashamed or embarrassed. It was how difficult it could be others to the beginning of a new way to not grasp what you go through and only share my life, but to underhow important it was to allow stand what others go through. I people to ask me questions and for learned that there’s more to peome to as open as possible. Being ple’s lives than what initially meets open about it became one of many the eye. ways for me to deal with anxiety.

Walk rather than take public transport, listen to a podcast rather than music, get enough rest and try to have a stable daily routine.

Another thing I learned while being home is how hard it is for people that have not gone though something similar themselves, to understand your experiences. Having learned how to cope with anxiety, I have also learned how to talk about it. I can go on and on about how I feel, what happened and reflect over situations, but for many people this does not make sense. I remember being at my mum and step-dad’s house after spending the whole day with my family. All of the sudden I start panicking and hysterically crying. My mum and step-dad did not understand any-

Giving friends and others around you an understanding why you might cancel or why you have a bad day. This does not mean everyone will understand you. Even though I was met by most people with an open mind, there are still plenty of people that do not believe mental health is a thing and would tell me that “It´s very trendy to have a mental health problem.” Mental health is not a trend, but a state of mind that affects everyday people in their everyday lives and if not dealt with, can cause harm to those who suffer.

Tips for a better night’s sleep Photography by Stalin Marimuthu - Model Virginia L.Gago - Styling by Helene Grastveit - Makeup by Miriam L. Eidesen

By Helene Grastveit Sleep is a vital role in good health for your well-being. Getting both a good night sleep and enough sleep can for some people feel difficult and stressful. Consuming the right amount of sleep can help protect your body from feeling stressed and can prevent mental and physical stress. Here are some simple tips that can get you get back ….dream land? The power of a good night sleep can´t be replaced with anything – waking up feeling refreshed and ready to seize the day. However, for many can the idea of a good night sleep cause more stress and is not always easy to achieve. There can be various reasons why getting a good night sleep as not obtainable for everyone, such as disturbance, noise or feeling overwhelmed. Feeling stressed or anxious is some of the more common causes that affect a good night sleep. Suffering from stress and anxiety will typically lead to a sleepless nights, restlessness and a busy mind that will not leave you alone. Tense muscles and variable heart rate while tossing and turning around in bed, can often generate negative thoughts, which can lead to even more stress and anxiety. Sleep affects how your brain works and missing a much-needed rest doesn’t just make you feel tired but can be bad for your health. Along with feeling grumpy and not working to our full potential, not gaining enough sleep will us feeling more stressed, on edge and less focused.

According to The National Health Service in the United Kingdom (NHS), most of us needs around 8 hours of good-quality sleep a night to function properly – some more and some less. What matters is that you find our how much sleep you need and try to achieve this. Here are top eight tips to help you get a peaceful night:

1. Routine

4. Plan Ahead

7. Switch Off

Creating a bedtime routine, when to go to sleep and when to wake up, will allow enough time for sleep, and increase the chance for reaching eight hours of rest. Allowing yourself to have a bedtime schedule can help decrease stress, and will allow your internal body clock to get used to a set routine.

Planning for the next day can ease your stress level for the following day. Try to think ahead; what will you wear? What will you have for breakfast? What needs to be packed? Making a list for the following day can clear your mind, making it easier to obtain a good night sleep.

There is nothing wrong watching a movie or your favorite show, but creating a pre-sleep routine will create sleep signals to your brain. You can try to read a chapter in a book, listen to a podcast or relaxation music, which will help distract your brain and relax your body.

5. Physical Activity

8. Positive Mindset

Your bedroom should be a safe and peaceful space, where you and unwind and relax. Make sure to keep your room tidy at all times, remove anything that is not necessary – also prevents you to wake up in a stressful and messy environment. Invest in some beautiful décor, artwork and accessories, to make it a room you enjoy. Try to air our your room before going to bed and light some candles before going to sleep. The combination of fresh air and soft lightening can be a great way to relax you before bedtime.

Physical activity improves sleep quality and increases sleep duration. Exercise reduces stress and tires you out. For many, exercise seems time consuming and therefor feels they do not have time, however there is ways to get by. Try to schedule in a walk, to or from work, or after dinner. Relaxation exercises, such as light yoga stretches, can help relax the muscles, which will prepare your body for bed.

If you suﬀer from stress and anxiety, try to remind yourself of what has been good during the day, rather then any problems. It is easy to dwell on all that went wrong, and often how the smallest things seems like the most diﬃcult problems. Before going to bed, think of at least three good things that happened that day, however big or small. Get used to enjoy the happy moments.

3. Be sure to wind down

6. Self-Care

Winding down before going to bed is a critical stage in preparing for bed. There is diﬀerent ways of doing this. Try to schedule in w warm bath/shower, which can help your body reach a comfortable temperature before going to bed. For many, bedtime tea can be a great way to unwind and relax while making your nerves relax. Another way to wind down can be to leave your phone alone. The light from electronic devices is known to have a negative eﬀect on your sleep.

Making sure you give yourself time to do what you love can make you feel more relaxed. The simple things as putting on a facemask, do your nails or trying out a new recipe. Small things can have a huge impact on your mental stage and make you go to bed with a positive attitude.

2. Make the bedroom your safe space

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Unlock the door to a better life... Helene Grastveit on how to implement the Danish mentality to your everyday life

There are two ways to look at happiness, aﬀective and cognitive dimensions. Aﬀective dimension examines the emotions you experience on a daily basis. Cognitive dimension examines your overall satisfaction with life; how happy are you in general.

Denmark is known for being rewarded the title of “The worlds happiest country” year after year. So what can we learn from them?

What makes Danes so happy? Is it the tuition-free access to high-quality education, or the no-fee public health care? Is it the relative lack of crime and corruption, or just plain Danish hygge? According to the World Happiness Report, happiness is closely linked to social equality and community spirit - and Denmark does well on both. Denmark has a high level of equality and a strong sense of common responsibility for social welfare So how we learn from the Danes without packing up your belongings and move away? Hygge and lykke (Danish word for happiness) isn’t just an idea. It’s a mood. It’s a feeling. It’s an action. It’s a way of lifestyle. In Denmark, hygge is a part of people’s sense of self. Hygge is what Meik Wiking, the CEO of Institute of Happiness, defines as the foundation of Danish happiness. Below are steps you can try to create a life with hygge and lykke – and hopefully implement some part of the Danish mentality into your everyday life.

TOGETHERNESS Togetherness is about more then getting together with a few close friends, it´s about being in an environment of trust, comfort, and security. The Danish concept of hygge is hard to translate, but in general it means taking time away from the daily rush to enjoy the good things in life. In comparison to British people are Danes spending more time with loved ones in their home rather then going out. Danes are known for their impeccable interior design, making Danish homes the ultimate hygge havens, creating a peaceful and inviting environment in your home. According to Meik Wiking, the author of The Little Book of Hygge, 28% of Danes say they light candles every day. Sitting together with friends around your dining room table, enjoying each other’s company, will allow you to be in the moment, disconnect and forget about work or any other form of stressful life situations. Find a group of friends or colleagues, and ask of they would be interested in creating a “cooking club”, where you can rotate on where and who cooks. Dedicate time to each other is key. Togetherness is more then having people over for dinner or catching up with friends. Shared community is a big part of the Danish mentality. This does not mean to go and join a sect, but rather get a greater insight of people around you. Most flats in Copenhagen will form an open circle around the common yard, a place for friends, families and kids to socialise.

FÆLLESHAVEN Fælleshaven, meaning common garden, is another way Danes get together. There are several positive aspects with a community garden. It is a great way to meet new people, spend more time outside in a greener environment and a way to grow your own food. If you have a shared space, why not build a community garden with others in the building. It is a great way to bring the neighbourhood together in order to create a village atmosphere in a big city, without having to spend too much money. In the case of you not having a shared space to socialise with your neighbours, there is other ways to plant a community within your building. Find a way to introduce yourself to people in your building or in your hallway. Or try to make the hall or staircase more inviting – everyone puts out a plant in front of the door, or make a small library with the entrance, maybe even a book club? Why not implement the Dutch tradition “Celebrate Neighbours Day” on May 26th. Engaging with your neighbours will create a more pleasant building to live in.

relax Verb; make or become less tense or anxious

Recognising High-Functioning Anxiety at Work By Kathryn Wheeler

BEING OVERLY CRITICAL

Anxiety is the second most reported work-related health problem in the UK, beaten only by back pain. But once we understand the signs of someone struggling with anxiety, we can work to create a positive and compassionate environment for all. Kathryn Wheeler explains how you can recognise anxious behaviour among your colleagues and how you can help.

It’s good work practice to be able to take constructive criticism. But if your colleague unquestioningly accepts any criticism of their work, and is overly-critical themselves, it may be a sign that they’re suﬀering with high-functioning anxiety. Having already agonised over the particulars of a project, being over-critical is part of the perfectionism and unattainably high standards that high-functioning anxiety brings.

Generalised Anxiety Disorder comes in many forms. While some people may be deterred from engaging with the world, those living with high-functioning anxiety could feel compelled to do more: to overwork, overthink and overperform. High-functioning anxiety can be hard to identify as those experiencing it are often able to carry out their days as normal, all while experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety below the surface. With one in 10 people experiencing a “disabling anxiety disorder” at some point in their lives, and 80% of people reporting high levels of stress in their jobs, the workplace can become a breeding ground for festering anxiety. But all of this can be avoided simply by checking in with colleagues, and consciously working towards a more understanding, sensitive working environment.

SEVEN SIGNS TO WATCH FOR

THE PREFECTIONIST

CONTROLLING

Anxiety often leads people to overthink situations. Constantly revisiting problems and obsessing over the tiniest of details will inevitably cause a lot of stress, but can also present itself as perfectionism. On the surface this may look like consistently flawless work, but the process behind this has been full of anxious, meticulous thought, often with high levels of self-criticism.

It can be natural to want to take the lead on a project that means a lot to you, but those with high-functioning anxiety disorder may come across as overly controlling. Rather than seeing this as an unattractive personality trait, it may be worth considering the reasons behind your co-worker’s need to control the situation, and allow them the space to progress in a way that makes them feel most secure.

APOLOGISING A LOT

WORST-CASE SCENARIO

We, the British, love to apologise. But those with high-functioning anxiety often find themselves caught fixating over the details of each interaction, leading them to feel the need to apologise for things they perceive to be wrong. This could be anything from “asking too many questions”, to simply “being annoying”. Whether or not these things have any truth to them, high levels of anxiety can lead to finding fault with things others don’t see.

Imagining every situation as a worst-case scenario doesn’t necessarily mean your colleague has a negative outlook on life. Rather, it could be a product of over-thinking, which may manifest itself in negative thoughts and fearing the worst in every possible outcome.

TICS

NEVER SAY ‘NO’

Sometimes, people with high-functioning anxiety disorder develop ticks, which are physical manifestations of their internal stress and anxiety. This comes out in a number of ways, from biting nails to constantly tapping feet. While these ticks may just look like habits, they represent a lot of internal stress and restlessness, common in those suﬀering with anxiety disorders.

Part of high-functioning anxiety can be a fear of letting others down. Your co-worker may say yes to every project, no matter how much pressure that may put them under. This could be indicative of over-thinking again, or can be part of perfectionism that means that they’re unable to lose control, and so take responsibility for whole projects when the responsibility could be shared.

What to do? For many, being able to open up about their stress, and have someone acknowledge that it’s valid, can mean a lot. Listen to them, be understanding, and above all, don’t judge them. Sharing what’s stressing them will hopefully mean it feels less of a burden than facing it on their own...

For more information, or to get help dealing with anxiety, visit Anxiety UK at anxietyuk.org.uk or speak to a counsellor. * Happiful originally published the article on November 29th, 2017.

Getting Organised Can Help Ease Anxiety Symptoms Anxiety can make it diﬃcult to do just about everything in day-to-day life, and organisation is a major part of this. Organisation is diﬃcult for most people, but when you add anxiety, it can seem downright insurmountable. By Helene Grastveit

Unexpected events, changes in our daily routine, overflowed mail inbox; work deadlines all while trying to maintain a healthy social life can easily cause stress. These kinds of last minute and unexpected stressors can slowly built up, and over time become overwhelming. Answering emails becomes a nightly occurrence, you will find ourselves constantly being on your phone at all times, leading up to sleepless nights. It is common that we would tell ourselves that the stress you are feeling is just temporary, while choosing to prioritise other things going on in your life, rather then our wellbeing. Being unorganised can potentially have a negative impact on our wellbeing. Making small changes in our daily routines in how you recognise, acknowledge, and face stress that occurs can have a big impact. In order to decrees stress in our every day life, there are multiple areas of our life’s that will need to be organised. Start organising your home, as a cluttered home can subtly drain you of energy. Start in one room and work your way around – throw away everything you don’t need. By creating a certain place for your things, clothes, books and even cables, makes it easier to maintain an organised home. In order to manage stress its important the be proactive with your time. It is important to notice and eliminate patters of stressors so that your stress response isn’t constantly triggered. The word productivity can for some seem stressful, but by being productive you can be left feeling satisfied by your daily achievements. Productivity can also lead to better time management. One simple step to increase your productivity level is to plan ahead, even if it’s just for the next morning. Plan your breakfast, your outfit and set your alarm early enough to give yourself time, rather then starting your day with stress. Making lists is a great way to stay on top of your daily routines and to keep organised, and can for many help prevent stress. You can have daily, weekly, monthly and yearly lists, consisting of chores, goals and small reminders. When making lists, it´s important to keep them short, precise and obtainable. If your list consists of unspecified and unobtainable goals, it can defeat the purpose and for some result in being a trigger causing stress rather then help manage it. Ticking oﬀ your set goals will leave you feeling in control of your day and can lead you to feel accomplished and more energised. At the end of the day, being organised means having more time for ourselves, which will result in a more balanced lifestyle.

TRY IT YOURSELF Cut out the checklist and try to fill it out. Remember to make the list obtainable and realistic. When items on the list are completed remember to tick them oﬀ.

Goals for this week

1 2 3 4 5

Goals for this month

1 2 3 4 5

Series of smiles

Photography by Anders Marcussen

Among humans, smiling is an expression denoting pleasure, sociability, happiness, joy or amusement

Anders Marcussen

“ When we travel I like taking pictures of people when they smile – as it often shows their character. Not all smile immediately – so I make sure I smile first – or talk to them and find out what they are doing; and possibly compliment them. The compliment must be realistic and reflect on them. It is surprising how many of us smile when we are complimented. I always ask if I can take the picture. People from India are the easiest to get to smile, some European countries are the opposite ”

The Therapy Paradox Written by Kate H. Miller*

Depression is a common mental health problem that causes people to experience low mood, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, and poor concentration. Depression is a common mental disorder. Globally, more than 300 million people of all ages suďŹ&#x20AC;er from depression*. Kate H. Miller explains how she found herself in a paradox, treating patients with depression while battling her own.

Persistent sadness and low mood, loss of interest and pleasure, fatigue and low energy, poor concentration and indecisiveness. These are some of the diagnostic criteria for depression according to ICD-10, one of two international classification systems for mental disorders. During my psychology degree, I made myself very familiar with these symptoms, among symptoms of many other diagnoses. For several years, I had studied clinical psychology through my curriculum, but finally it was time for my placement. I was placed in a local psychological counselling service, offering cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to people with mild to moderate difficulties such as anxiety, stress, sleeping problems and depression. Thus, I was due to experience mental illness first-hand. Little did I know that my first-hand experience was about to get way more personal than what being a psychology intern included. That is, the abovementioned clinical symptoms of depression were also symptoms that afflicted me at the very same time that my placement period began. At the time, it felt like it came out of the blue. I thought I was happy and content with my life, but slowly understood that something wasn’t right after days of relentless crying. I felt terribly unhappy, but had no clue as of why. I kept telling myself that I was just having a bad week, that everyone experienced this from time to time. My mind was dominated by the ‘pull yourself together’ mentality. I moved back to my mum and started therapy after my sister convinced me that I wasn’t just having a bad week. I couldn’t just pull myself together. When I first received my sick leave, I let myself notice how extremely exhausted I was, and more or less broke down. My days mostly consisted of resting and crying. I also became very socially anxious, so even grocery shopping with my mum would wear me out completely. Trying to keep myself active to avoid depressions well-known ‘vicious cycle’ of passivity, I fiddled with a jigsaw puzzle and pushed myself to go for a walk every day. I knew the recommendations for people with depression, and I wanted to be a ‘good student’. As for many other young adults, that was probably part of the problem. My therapist made me aware of this, and I got her point, but simultaneously all I wanted was to get well as soon as possible. What a contradiction... Considering my education, I knew that I was lucky to be more resourceful than most people in this situation, and I wanted to take advantage of that. Therefore, my motivation to work it properly through was there from the beginning. With that said, it wasn’t at any point easy.

to empathize with clients. This is by all means undeniable, and I fully agree. With that being said, it was a poor consolation at the time. I understand that it was said with a good intention, but when it feels like your whole life is falling apart, you don’t really feel lucky. I recognize the urge to oﬀer heartfelt and practical advice when someone is struggling. I tend to do this all the time, ant it will probably be one of my greatest challenges to moderate this tendency as a therapist. Although I was aware of this before, I first truly appreciated the power of someone listening without necessarily giving advice when I got ill. It’s truly underrated. The tables had turned, before the tables were even set. Just before I was about to start individual counselling courses with my own clients, I found myself in the opposite chair, turning towards one that belonged to a psychologist of my own. This was a massive paradox to me, of which I couldn’t quite comprehend. First of all, I was surprised by the fact that I didn’t instantly recognise all the signs my body were giving me. I mean, I knew the diagnostic criteria of depression by heart, and yet I’m still getting used to applying that term to describe my own experience. A certain degree of disappointment emerged when my psychologist first mentioned depression. Disappointment in that I couldn’t pinpoint this myself, and disappointment in the fact that I wasn’t immune. How was I supposed to identify clients’ diﬃculties, when I couldn’t identify my own? And why was I capable of getting depressed when I was above average educated on the topic and maintained so many mental tools? These considerations might sound extremely naïve, and in retrospect I know they are, but at the time they were genuine concerns of mine.

Practice what you preach, they say. Well, that’s a lot easier said than done when you’re struggling with your own depression whilst also treating others for it. I felt like a liar and a hypocrite so many times when I returned to my placement, still trying to get back on my feet. Bonus; no-one knew, except from my supervisor, which resulted in using lots of energy on acting. Don’t try this at home, it’s not worth it. One of the first days back after my sick leave, I held a psychoeducation course about depression to a group of people in need of help. I kept wondering whether my audience could tell that I was speaking from experience, and that I was as much in need of this support as they were. My feelings were mixed. It felt incredibly ironic, like the blind leading the blind, but also empowering and genuine. Later, this absurd feeling persisted during the individual sessions with my clients. You might wonder whether this was the right thing to do or at all responsible, both for Everyone aware of how I was doing told me that I was lucky to me and my clients. There’s probably no definite answer to that. experience a mental illness with regard to my future occupation. That it would give me a unique perspective and a greater ability

All I know is that it felt extremely valuable to be able to get out of my own misery by helping others. In fact, I believe that my learning curve was significantly steeper because my aspiration to help suddenly became important at a whole new level. Furthermore, I’m certain that my supervisor wouldn’t put me back in charge if she didn’t consider it to be responsible.. Although returning to my placement was the right thing for me to do in this situation, precaution was a requisite. Thankfully my supervisor gave me plenty of freedom to organize my own schedule, she let me decide how many clients I wanted to take on, and gave me days off when I requested it. I kept seeing my therapist every week. Also, I slowly started to follow my own recommendations, which included openness and the importance of social support. Usually having the helper/listener role, I truly struggled with this one, but again I felt like a hypocrite if I couldn’t even tell my closest how I was doing. I realize that this motivation wasn’t entirely intrinsic, but I soon understood the rewarding effect of taking the opposite role. I do recommend trying this at home if this description sounds familiar. Furthermore, I was lucky to get the opportunity to participate in a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course lasting for eight weeks. I am truly grateful that I got this opportunity, as it was a turning point for my healing process. What I used to judge as an alternative, rather questionable practice, turned out to be much simpler and more effective than I assumed. These factors among many other more indefinite ones, eventually got my head above water. My main message and wish, is for people to know and understand how incredibly common mental illness is. No one’s immortal, nor immune. Not even professionals. I still recall the relief I felt when my psychologist told me about her own experience with anxiety, and how none of her expertise would be sufficient when it was at its worst. This isn’t to argue that therapy is useless, on the contrary I believe it’s invaluable. I just want to portray that we’re all human, and that there’s no quick fix for your mental health. Moreover, being your own therapist will only work for so long. Don’t hesitate to take use of the support system around you, or to seek professional help. This is a triumph rather than a defeat. I know social stigma around therapy and mental illness has come a long way, but when even a future psychologist like myself hesitate to be open about it, I know we still have a long way to go. Part of that responsibility is mine, part of it is yours. Spread the word. Most of us hit the wall at some point in our lives, some way or another. There’s no need to combat it on your own, nor to feel alone.

* Names have been changed due to anonymous purposes *World Health Organisation

Therapy without a therapist Helene Grastveit on How cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) done on your own can be eﬀective. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapeutic treatment that helps patients understand the thoughts and feelings that influence behaviours. Grey Matter explores CBT and how it can be done in your own time.

The talking therapy is a combination of two approaches – the cognitive, which is how we think, and the behavioral, which refers to how we act. It is most commonly used to treat anxiety and depression, however, it can be useful for other mental and physical health problems.

GUIDELINES IF YOU DECIDE TO PURSUE SELFHELP COGNITIVE-BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY

The theory behind CBT is quite simple: our thoughts and actions aﬀect each other, so by changing the way we think or act in certain situations, we can change the way we feel. According to National Health Service in the United Kingdom (NHS), CBT aims to help you deal with overwhelming problems is a more positive way by breaking them in to smaller parts. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is aimed to deal with current problems, rather then concentrating on your past, training you to find practical ways to advance your state of mind on a daily basis.

If you feel you need to undergo CBT treatment, it is recommended to see a therapist. However, many people might not have access to a CBT therapist – maybe non are close by, can´t seem to find time, you might be in a waiting list or they´re prohibitively expensive. There are multiple options, which is called “self-directed CBT”, including self-help books and online-based treatments. While Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a hands-on approach, with structure, goals and tangible tasks, it will still acquire you to do your own “homework”, in order to find solutions.

Find a book that resonates with you There are diﬀerent books with diﬀerent approaches, tones and level of details.

Check out the different Apps There is plenty of free apps that can help you cope with anxiety and user-friendly wherever you go. Research to find the app that suits you best.

Write your own journal Write your own journal to identify your feelings, behavior and thoughts

Make a workbook The CBT workbook will contain the key principles behind CBT and will give you interactive exercises and checklists, which is suitable of self-teaching or supplementing a CBT course.

WHAT ARE COGNITIVE AND BEHAVIOURAL TECHNIQUES? The cognitive techniques focuses on you learning to identify your thought patterns and discovering how your thoughts aﬀect how you feel, which leads to your behaviour. Behavioural technique focuses on how you can schedule activities and brings you enjoyments and a sense of accomplishments. Another aspect of behavioural techniques is to make you recognize how your own actions aﬀect you in your everyday life and how planning your day in order to not feel overwhelmed with daunting tasks.

How Do I Cope with “The Problem”?

READY TO TRY CBT? If you would like to try CBT or recommended to you by your doctor, you can either go through NHS or go private. If you would like to go private, which can include Skype calls or face-to-face meetings, you can visit Counseling Directory online to find a CBT counselor in your local area. With NHS you will need to refer yourself to a local organisation that oﬀers CBT. Ask your doctor for further information.

What made put me at risk in the first place?

IDENTIFY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

What events of triggers occurred just before “the problem” developed?

What is “The Problem”?

Try to complete the task yourself. The aim is to change your behaviour by identifying negative and distorted thinking patterns or thoughts.

How do I cope with “The Problem”? what things make me feel better, at least temporarily?

what are the pros?

How eﬀective are these coping strategies?

What else could I do/try to cope?

And cons?

We asked the expert... “

“how should we deal with anxiety?

Which physiological or therapeutic approaches What´s the most typical symptoms people think do use for patients with anxiety? in regards of anxiety? Dr. David Codyre: The evidence for eﬀective treatments is clear; for all but the most severe persistent anxiety conditions, the evidence-based talking therapies are the most eﬀective intervention, especially cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT).

Dr. David Codyre: The more typical symptoms people think of – undue worry about situations or life in general, problems sleeping, mood changes – are also present and some people will be aware the problem is anxiety, and seek help for this early.

Is there any common thought process that occurs What about those with milder or moderate to when you talk with patients with anxiety? severe anxiety?

Consultant and psychiatrist Dr. David Codyre educates Grey Matter on symptoms, treatment types and how you can help people suﬀering from anxiety. Written by Helene Grastveit

Dr. Codyre is consultant psychiatrist working in primary care with more then 30 years of experience within the community mental health sector in New Zealand. He has spent the past 15 years leading development of primary mental health programmes, and advocating at a regional and national level for strengthening of primary mental health capacity, along with better support for primary care from secondary mental health services. Apart from leading the team, Dr Codyre´s work includes up skilling the GPs and practice Nurses to be more confident and capable meeting patients mental health needs, phone consultation and advice to GPs about patients they are seeing.

Dr. David Codyre: So for patients with milder anxiety we have unskilled the GPs and Nurses to provide education about the condition, and brief behavioral interventions that are helpful in anxiety such as slow breathing/diaphragmatic breathing retraining (as many/most people with anxiety are chest breathers/tend to hyperventilation), and Brief Problem Solving. For those with moderate to severe anxiety they can see a therapist for CBT, and also attend a Mindfulness program we run in all localities. And for those with the most severe, persistent and debilitating anxiety, I have taught the GPs about the place of medication and what medications can help.

Which physiological or therapeutic approaches do use for patients with anxiety?

Dr. David Codyre: People suﬀering from anxiety will typically have one or both of two things driving this – firstly life stress that has got beyond their capacity to cope; and secondly “habits of thinking” that tend to drive anxiety. So examples of these “habits of thinking” that underlie anxiety include such things as “catastrophic thinking” – tending to focus on the worst possible scenario, for example getting a flight and convincing themselves the plane will crash, or thinking the chest pain and palpitations due to anxiety are a sign you are having a heart attack and dying. Also “personalizing things” – so if someone is grumpy or unhappy about something tending to automatically assume it is their fault. Another example is having “unrelenting standards” for yourself – so no matter how well you do something always feeling it is not good enough. All these “habits of thinking” tend to make life much more stressful, and bring vulnerability to stress triggering anxiety.

Dr. David Codyre: The evidence for eﬀective treatments is clear; And what treatment would be used on patients for all but the most severe persistent anxiety conditions, the evi- struggling from “habits of thinking”? dence-based talking therapies are the most eﬀective intervention, especially cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT). Dr. David Codyre: The “cognitive” part of CBT involves among with things helping people identify their “habits of thinking” that are driving anxiety, and learning a set of practical tools that can help to challenge these thought patterns and replace them with Why have you chosen this approach? more helpful and realistic thoughts. Dr. David Codyre: working in this “stepped” approach of more intensive intervention for greater severity/lack of response to lower intensity intervention, we see the vast majority of people do better and function better, and many recover fully.

Do you think there is an underlying stigma among people for seeking professional help? And why? Dr. David Codyre: Absolutely – there is substantial stigma across

What´s the most common signs you can look out all cultures and communities about mental health problems, and this is a substantial problem in delaying people seeking help. For for when having anxiety? Dr. David Codyre: Most people with underlying anxiety conditions actually present with physical symptoms – the same is true for depression – and often this results in going to the doctor worried about a medical problem, having lots of tests and investigations all of which come back negative, and it commonly takes a long time before underlying anxiety is diagnosed as the problem. So this can include pain – headaches, muscle aches from muscle tension, chest pain, stomach and abdominal pain, etc. Also common are palpitations, stomach churning, dizziness, and unusual neurological symptoms such as numbness and tingling. Because so many of the symptoms are physical, this often leads the person to have so-called “health anxiety” where they worry these symptoms are due to some medical condition such as cancer, heart attack and so on.

some people, tragically it is easier to end their lives than to reach out for help. Most Western nations have various de-stigmatisation public health campaigns running for up to 20 years, these have helped BUT stigma remains the biggest barrier to people reaching out for help.

Do you see an increase of you people with anxiety or other mental health conditions? If yes, why do you think so? Dr. David Codyre: The subjective impression of people working in mental health is that all the common conditions – anxiety, depression, addiction – have got more common with passing years – and research bears this out. The exact cause is not known but it is felt to be a combination of factors – shift to a gradually poorer quality diet, les active more sedentary lifestyle, easier access and increased use of alcohol and drugs – along with the impact of the increasingly complexity and stress of modern living.

How can I help? Typical symptoms?

Any signs I can look out for? What would be your top three tips for people struggling with anxiety or other mental health conditions?

Any advise for family and friends?

1. Know what the signs are and learn self-care – eat well, exercise, 2. If you develop signs of stress/anxiety/depression, despite this,

Don’t hesitate to ask if they are doing alright, and to oﬀer support and a helping hand – that is the most important thing anyone can do.

3. If anxiety or any other condition becomes severe and persists,

Ask what you can do to be of help

learn and practice mindfulness.

reach out for help early – the sooner you access help the quicker you will recover

despite this, get onto a medication that suits you, and stay on it long enough to get fully well and for some months beyond. When you want to stop do so slowly – over some months ideally. These medications (typically the antidepressants that also help anxiety) are not addictive, they are nothing to fear, and if your mental health is aﬀecting your day to day function and good therapy ids not getting you well, there is no shame in needing to take medication – after all would you feel ashamed of needing medication if you developed diabetes, or arthritis, or cancer?

Do you have any specific advise you give to patients getting treatment for anxiety that you wish more people knew oﬀ?

Is there an underlying stigma? What are the different treatment types?

Common thought process?

Dr. David Codyre: Many people struggling with anxiety get fearful of fear, which becomes a vicious cycle – don’t let anxiety get “in the drivers seat” in your life – fight back against it and learn what works for you to get on top of it and stay of top. Don’t slip into using drugs and alcohol to manage anxiety – long term they make it worse, and weaken your ability to fight back Do adopt all the lifestyle and self management strategies that work for you

Do you want anyone to talk to or know anyone who might need to see someone? Please see our useful contacts for talking therapy and counselling at the back pages.

Advice for family & friends

Don’t feel you have to “fix” your loved one – you can’t, only they can do that – but good support is key to recovery so being there, being a listening ear, and holding onto hope is the best anyone can do for a friend or family member struggling with anxiety.

Also encourage them to make lifestyle changes – ask to exercise with them, encourage healthy eating and so on.

Don’t say they need to “toughen up” – no one chooses to experience anxiety any more than anyone would “choose” to get cancer or diabetes.

Why I choose to see a psychologist â&#x20AC;Ś and how it made me feel By Katherine Voss* The past year, National Health Service UK has had more the one million talking therapy referrals*. What can you expect from your first therapy session? Katherine Voss realised that it was time to address her own dilemmas, and shares her expectation, preparation and afterthought with Grey Matter.

I have always been a sensitive person, strongly influenced by the people around me. It came to a point where I wanted to learn more about how I could change my mind-set in order for me to focus more about myself and my personal goals in life. I have never felt any sort of stigma about the fact that people visit psychologists, but sadly I think that a lot of people do. I have always been interested in how other people think, and how they look at life in general. I wanted to explore what it was like to gain insight into my own life by talking to a professional. Once I decided to visit a professional, it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take long before I booked my appointment. I used my time before the meet to think carefully through my thoughts to get the most out of the conversation. I never considered cancelling the appointment. Once I decide to do something, I do it. I know that a lot of people are terrified of ending up with a bad psychologist, but I spent a lot of time researching. In my case, it ended up with me talking about it with friends and family, and they were the ones giving me the recommendation. I was really looking forward to the appointment, especially after what I had heard. At the same time, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to expect. As I walked into the waiting room, I remember meeting three other people with the same agenda as me. Sitting down, I remember thinking about the age and variety of these people. I could see a young girl across from me, an old man a few seats down from me, and a women in her mid thirties. I remember feeling quite calm, thinking that everyone needs to talk to someone once in a while.

“You have to stop basing your happiness on the external factors, such as school, men and friends. It is the internal that should be your focus. And then the other things will follow”

The door opens, and I can hear my name being called out. It was my time to go in. Sitting down, I remember feeling a little nervous, maybe because I was feeling quite empty from before. The session started with some general information. The psychologist told me that if she ever met me randomly on the street or at the store she would pretend she didn’t know who I was. She reassured me that this was not because she didn’t care, but because she wanted me to feel comfortable about her confidentiality. Remember feeling scared to cry because I didn’t know if I would be able to stop. But at one point I knew I was going to cry no matter what. I think it was because she was so nice and caring. So from there I decided to welcome my tears, and try to understand what was the underlying meaning of these tears. I had decided in advance that I would answer all questions as honestly as possible. This was about making the most out of the forty-five minutes we had available. It felt incredibly good to have a completely diﬀerent perspective on my own life. There were many things I already knew, but I left feeling that I had learned so much about myself and my relationships with others. There was especially this one one phrase that stuck with after my session, whereby my psychologist said “You have to stop basing your happiness on the external factors. Such as school, men and friends. It is the internal that should be your focus. And then the other things will follow”.

At first I thought the hour was too short. Although I was completely honest on all my issues, it does take some time to get completely comfortable. The psychologist advised me to do another session, since most of the work is done between hours. I spent a lot of time reflecting on what we had been talking about to prepare for the next hour. I left with a good feeling. Being open and sharing my story took strength and courage, and it felt emotionally exhausting at times. But I think all people needs to be seen, and I learned a lot about how to change my mind in relation to the various challenges life has to oﬀer. I also learned how to be a “positive egoist” which is quite a weird phrase. But it’s about setting yourself first; so that you can be the best version of yourself to the people you love. There is absolutely nothing shameful about talking to a professional. If it’s one thing I regret, it would be that I waited so long to actually do it. I think about it quite diﬀerently know, and I would highly recommend everyone to get a few new perspectives about their own life. I think it’s very important to constantly seek new insight in yourself and how you want to live your life. Mostly for yourself, but also to be a better person to the people around you. I think that by preparing my question and being open to the fact that the first session may evoke certain emotions - and knowing that this is totally OK was very helpful. I guess feeling anxious about seeing a psychiatrist is a common feeling, but I wouldn’t let those fears interfere with people getting the help and treatment that we all deserve and need.

* Names have been changed due to anonymous purposes *NHS News

Why is self-care important? Photography by Stalin Marimuthu - Model: Miriam L. Eidesen - Styling and Creative direction by Helene Grastveit

Self-care is vital for building resilience toward those stressors in life that you can’t eliminate. When you’ve taken steps to care for your mind and body, you’ll be better equipped to live your best life. Grey Matter explores the best self-care routines that calm you and make you feel relaxed. By Helene Grastveit

Self-care is important for your physical and mental health. Allowing yourself to take time oﬀ your busy every-day life can have a huge impact on your mind, soul and your overall health. Self-care can make you not only feel more relaxed, which lead to a better night sleep, but also more energetic lead to a more positive mind-set. Here is a simple evening routine to make you feel more peaceful and re-energized.

Take a bath or shower When a tense body enters a warm bath or shower, the hot water will increase the body temperature and relaxes the muscles. Not only will you have it easier falling asleep later at night, but it will also help relief muscle tension and improve blood circulation, and reduce headaches.

Apply a facemask Facemasks are the perfect skin care treatment; hydrating your skin, remove excess oils and help improve the appetence of tour pores. In addition, facemasks can feel very therapeutic, as it can stimulate your senses. Try a facemask with infused with aromatic oils like mint, lavender or rosemary.

Stress relief moisturizing lotion Find a smell that relaxes you; lemon, lavender, jasmine, rosemary, cinnamon, peppermint. By applying body lotion every night before going to bed, with your chosen smell, will let your senses resonate with the smell at allow your body to automatically feel relaxed â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and your bed sheets will smell great too!

Light candles Not does candles only smell nice and helps to create a cosy and safe environment, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also proven that scented candles can transform your mood. Study shows that certain scented candles can reduce feelings of fear and anxiety, reducing stress and lifting mood.

Enjoy a cup of tea Natural teas can be calming and can help you cope with stress and anxiety. A cup of tea can relieve stress and boost your mood due to its aroma. Natural teas like peppermint, chamomile, lemon balm herbs, rose c and passionflower all reduces stress and relieves you from anxiety and will keep you overall calm.

Under eye mask To create the ultimate spa-night, treat yourself to a under eye mask. The right eye mask will cool down and plump your skin, and help reduce the dark circles under your eyes with ingredients like retinol, hyaluronic acid and ceramides. This luxurious, yet not expensive treat will make you feel calm, relaxed and leave you’re the skin under your eyes feel energized.

Catch up on your favourite reading While you can’t hide from your problems, especially when it comes to mental health, taking a break from them can do you a world of good. Anxiety can be constant and overwhelming, and it has the eﬀect of colouring every experience you have. Reading does not only lower your hear rate and relaxes you physically, but it allows you to escape reality for a little while.

My job gave me anxiety Research indicates that seventyfour of UK adults have felt so stressed at some point over the last year they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope in the last year*. In 2018, work related stress anxiety or depression accounts for over half of all working days lost due to ill health in Great Britain*. Grey Matter meet with Mary Wyszomierska, to hear her story and how work lead her to anxiety and panic attacks.

Last year Mary graduated from University in South Hampton, packed her suitcase and moved to London. A young, ambitious woman with thirteen internships on her CV, ready to get pursue her dream career. Her dream was quickly meet with resistant and rejection. A constant though was “I´m a good person and I´m trying my best, why can´t I get a job” Marry says. She landed her first job in a small Public Relation agency as an assistant of the company boss. “At one point she started bullying me at the work place” Mary says. With her boss constantly overlooking Mary´s work, creating a constant scare of doing anything wrong. “I started thinking that I´m clearly not good enough”. The workplace, where Mary came to learn and develop her skills, instead she was treated as a runner, spending more time at Tesco getting food, then answering emails. “My boss would tell me not to breath, tell me not so sing, not to hum”. Mary goes on explaining that with time she started having chronic headaches in the back of her head, being left feeling a constant apprehension. Mary went on to start her new job, working as a press assistant for a fashion designer. Finding it hard to integrate mentally from her previous experience, she quick came to realize how supporting her new colleagues were. One day her manager packed up her stuff and left, leaving Mary in fear of being left with a manger role. “I really didn’t want the role, all I wanted was the role as an assistant so I could learn and not being left with all the responsibility”. Monday came and Marry was back in the office. “I was so overwhelmed with everything and so tired with the whole situation”. She was given a new manager “a nice individual but not a good manager”, Mary explains. The new manager gave Mary tasks to do, but so did the CEO as well as she would have her own work to get done. “I am very efficient and get my work done, without really thinking of what I´m doing, but I know I do it well”.

Mary explains that she experienced her first panic attack at her work, after realizing she had made a mistake the day before, where a printed document was missing a few pages. “I felt so overwhelmed with the fact that I had fucked things up, even though it basically wasn’t my fault”. Her colleague found Marry in the floor in front of the copy machine. “My hands and my feet went numb and I couldn’t feel them at that point. I was panicking, I was crying and I couldn´t breath”, Mary says. She was sent home, even though she wanted to stay. “I couldn’t let work go, I kept telling everyone what work that needed to be done, while lying on the floor”. The Sunday afternoon after, Mary would experience another panic attack, caused by the fear of going back to work. “I was told that I should have taken a day oﬀ – and they were right, I should have, but at that point I didn’t really think about it”. Weeks passed, even though Mary was advised by her doctor to stay at home and relax she kept going into work. When she finally decided to listen to her doctor and be on sick leave, her manager would still contact her. “I couldn’t win. She was really mad and very disappointed in me”. It came to a point where Mary could not be home alone or even left alone. “I started feeling so lonely and I had never felt this before”. She ended up taking an additional week oﬀ, which was recommend to her by her doctor. “One of my biggest problems is that I am very ambitious and working in a field you love it’s hard to distinguish work and pleasure, and to draw a line for yourself”. During her week, Mary decided to schedule a session with a therapist from Poland. “She was great and very helpful and she made me realise that the work environment was not good for me and personal qualities that I could improve within myself”. Before her second session with her therapist, Mary was told she had passed away. “At that point I felt alone again like she left me and I didn’t know what to do. The person I trusted is now gone and I did not know what to do anymore”, she says. “I started looking for another therapist, I found one and she was awful, and I felt that she didn’t understand me”

“I felt so overwhelmed with the fact that I had fucked things up, even though it basically wasn’t my fault”.

Mary decided to hand in her resignation. “I started feeling better after leaving such a toxic work environment”, she says. Mary only had one therapy session afters she left her work where the time was spent on how she could improve herself. “I didn’t know that I could ever feel this way, and that I could faint at work from being stressed and panicky, and I really don´t know how to control it”. Ever since it has been better for Mary. She started a new job for Dior, where she is happy. Marry explains how she have learnt to slow down and how to deal with stress, but explains how her situation still hasn’t been deal with a hundred present. “I always take any lesson given and I don´t believe that you learn from the good times, so any bad experience I turn into a life lesson” “I don’t know what will happen, but at the moment I am enjoying my life and trying to be grateful for what I have. I´m trying to not think about what is going wrong, cause then you just work yourself up”

Photographer: Justyna Krawczyk

“I don’t know what will happen, but at the moment I am enjoying my life and trying to be grateful for what I have. I´m trying to not think about what is going wrong, cause then you just work yourself up”

*https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

Breathe. Exhale. Repeat.

When people are anxious they tend to take rapid, shallow breaths that come directly from the chest. When feeling anxious, most people wouldn’t even be aware of this. This way of breathing can cause increased heart rate, dizziness, muscle tension and other physical sensations. Take a deep breath, expanding your belly. Pause. Exhale slowly to the count of five. Repeat four times. Congratulations. You’ve just calmed your nervous system.

Written by Helene Grastveit Breathing is something we do, all the time. But what a lot of people might not now is how breathing can calm you down. When you breath in air, your blood cells receives oxygen and will therefor realize carbon dioxide. If your breathing gets disrupted, so can oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange within your body and can contribute to anxiety, panic attacks and other physical and emotional disturbances.

Controlled breathing, like what you just practiced, has been shown to reduce stress, increase alertness and boost your immune system. Breathing exercises can help you relax, because they make your body feel like it does when you are already relaxed. Deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. This is because when you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax.

The next time you’re feeling anxious try this simple relaxation technique: Let your breath flow as deep down into your belly as is comfortable, without forcing it. Try breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathe in gently and regularly. Some people find it helpful to count steadily from 1 to 5. You may not be able to reach 5 at first. Then, without pausing or holding your breath, let it flow out gently, counting from 1 to 5 again, if you find this helpful. Keep doing this for 3 to 5 minutes.

You can perform this exercise as often as needed. It can be done standing up, sitting down, or lying down. If you find this exercise diﬃcult or believe it’s making you anxious or panicky, stop for now.

Photography by Stalin Marimuthu - Model Virginia L.Gago - Styling by Helene Grastveit - Makeup by Miriam L. Eidesen

The benefit of controlled breathing and how it can reduce anxiety.

Blue space “blue space” – the impact of the sea, rivers, lakes, and even urban water features on our health and wellbeing Photography by Jack Fontes

What are healing crystals and how you should use them? Photography by Helene Grastveit - Model Sophie Winfield

A beginner guide: from types of crystals, how they work and when to use them, Grey Matter explores the crystal healing fad.

Crystal healing is a terminology used about the use of crystals. It is a certain type of therapy, which involves placing gemstones on your body or in a room in order for the crystal to draw out negative energy. Crystal healing is an energy-based system. This means it is based on the belief that we are all made up of different energies and that when this becomes stagnant, unbalanced or blocked, it can cause illness. The premise is that crystals help unblock, balance and direct energy where it is most needed, gently supporting the body to heal in a therapeutic way. The proposed healing benefits of crystals predominantly surround areas of mental wellbeing; including feelings of increased calmness, positivity and focus, as well as enhanced immunity and pain relief. Individual crystals are also known to have their own special energies that align to different areas of your life, with their shape and colour and as well as the type will be affecting their influence on you. In order for the crystals to have an affect on you it´s said you would need to have a clear purpose, and be aware of your aspirations, dreams and values. In other words; what do you want the crystal to help you with. So before you start searching for the right crystal, think of what you want it do for you. Start off deciding what matters to you. Explore areas of your life that need an upgrade. Consider how you can improve your relationships, career, social life, spirituality, health, and community. Healing crystals are broken up into three categories. You have cut stones, which are similar to gem stones. The second type is tumble stones and they are polished versions of stones, which are smaller and beautiful. The final one is raw stones. These are not shiny as tumble stones but emit the same amount of energy.

If you’re a crystal beginner, which crystals are the best ones to buy?

Amethyst In the world of crystal healing, amethyst is believed to help purify the mind and reduce stress and anxiety.

Citrine Also a manifestation crystal that can motivate you to take action. It brings optimism and cheerfulness.

Aventurine

…Now what?

After you have choose your crystal you will need to adapt it to your use and set your own intention for using it. When you have figured out what you would like to use crystals for, it will be important to be specific. Be specific about what you want to achieve, when you want to achieve it, and why. From there, you will go into a meditative-like state, by holding the crystal in your hand and then focus on your goal, silently repeating it´s purpose

Before you start

It is one of the premier stones to attract luck, abundance and success. Green Aventurine has a particularly soothing energy behind it, and is recommended for working through unresolved emotional issues.

Clear quartz

It is necessary to occasionally cleanse and charge your crystals. To do so, you can choose to bathe them in cold water to then lay them out in the moonlight or on your windowsill during a full moon, or in the sun. Crystals will often come with guidelines or ask where you choose to purchase them. Books to read

Also known as the stone of power and amplifies any energy or intention. Clear Quartz protects against negativity, attunes to your higher self, and relieves pain.

The Little Book of Crystals by Judy Hall The Little Book of Crystals By Judy Hall Crystals for Beginners: The Guide to Get Started with the Healing Power of Crystals by Karen Frazier Crystals: The Modern Guide to Crystal Healing by Yulia Van Doren

What you can do to prevent or reduce stress: Ask for help Everyone needs a hand from time to time.

Balance your time Don’t do too much at once.

Take some time off If things get too much, taking a few days oﬀ or a long weekend can help you feel refreshed

Be realistic You don’t have to be ‘perfect’ all the time

Reward yourself for achievements It is easy to focus on what needs to be done next and forget to reward yourself for what you have already accomplished.

Floating: “New” methods of meditatation How laying in a darkened space, floating in water consisting of half a tonne of Epsom salt, floating eﬀortlessly, can get your mind into a state of deep relaxation.

Floatation therapy creates a unique environment: free of external stimuli, which is proven to increase feelings of serenity and relaxation, and decreasing feelings of anxiety and tension – which last long after your session is finished. Floating activates the para-sympathetic nervous system (our ‘rest and digest’ mode) and puts our sympathetic nervous system (our ‘fight or flight’ response) on standby – allowing our body and mind to heal from the stresses of modern living. A regular floating routine can lower cortisol levels (a stress response hormone) and help you disconnect from the pressures of everyday life.

Imagine floating in an egg shaped cocoon, where the water matches the temperature of your skin and the air, giving you the feeling of complete weightlessness. It’s usually pitch black and silent in the pod too, unless you wish to have relaxing music, or the light on. Free from sensory input, the muscular-skeletal system and sympathetic nervous system wind down into a state of deep relaxation and serenity, in which your body and mind can heal and replenish.

John C Lilly, the creator of the original floatation tank, was a neuroscientist. He was interested in what floating can do for the mind:

The mental health charity Mind suggests strong links between poor sleep and mental health and anxiety. Floating has been scientifically proven to have a greater and longer lasting impact on anxiety than other therapeutic interventions, and to reduce the activation of stress systems in the brain and body.

“From a neurophysiological standpoint, one has immediately freed up very large masses of neurons from the necessity of constant computations”. He discovered that the freedom from stimuli we experience when we’re floating allows us to explore the nature of our consciousness. Free from anxiety, in a deep state of mindful relaxation we can also tap into creativity. Joe Rogan, one of today’s best-known advocates of floating, says floating is: “The most important tool I have ever used for developing my mind, for thinking, for evolving.” In the moments of pure awareness we experience in the float pod, free from all stress and distraction, consciousness exploration becomes possible.

In the moments of pure awareness we experience in the float pod, free from all stress and distraction, consciousness exploration becomes possible 91

Floating and the brain

Justin Feinstein, head neurophysicist at Ohio’s Laureate Institute for Brain Research, the leading authority on floating and the brain, discovered that floating decreases activity in the brain’s salience network, which:

Reduces anxiety Reduces negative emotions Reduces the perception of pain Reduces confusion, and Reduces the impact of many serious mental health issues. The Institute’s latest study on floating also found that participants reported significant reductions in stress, muscle tension, pain, depression and negative aﬀect, accompanied by a significant improvement in mood characterised by increases in serenity, relaxation, happiness and overall well-being.

*Information provided by Floatworks

There’s a bully in my head The story of how a young girl managed to change her traumatic childhood into her biggest achievement yet.

Helene Grastveit: How was your childhood? Cassandra Gross: My childhood in New Zealand was amazing. I was always passionate about horse riding, sports, friends and fun. HG: And your teens? CG: Around the age of twelve or thirteen, I began to battle with body and self-esteem issues. I formed a toxic relationship with food that meant I battled bulimia for the best part of ten years, and it is still something that I battle with today. HG: And when did the bullying start?

At twelve, Cassandra Gross began to battle with body and self-esteem issues. Her teen years were filled with bulling, leading her to form an unhealthy relationship with food. Cass has been battling bulimia and anxiety for more then ten years as a result of her teenage years back in New Zealand. The twenty-tree year old found her home country to be unfulfilling, moved around the world and have now settled in Los Angeles. Long hours spent and a brave mindset, Cass published her first book Bully, which quickly became an Amazon bestseller over night. Titled Bully, Bully coming from the word Bulimia, Cass aimed to tell her about anxiety and bulimia, admitting that Bully was written to her younger self.

CG: High school was living hell for me, although I didn’t exactly help myself, I did suﬀer terrible bullying and isolation especially towards my last three years. I felt completely misunderstood. My weight would fluctuate up to five to ten kilos and my skin was atrocious. At the time I was a professional horse rider and I clung to this out of school activity with both hands. HG: And life after High School? CG: I truly feel like my life began after high school. All the kids I was with went to Dunedin and Wellington for university and I stayed in Auckland with one good friend. Over the following three years that I studied my degree, I began to reinvent myself. Occasionally no I will see old friends from school and I almost want to reintroduce myself. HG: How did you cope with eating disorders? CG: The real game changer for me was the gym. It made me feel physically strong even when I was mentally weak. I started going almost every day, trying new things, swimming, weight lifting, cycling, running, yoga – all of it. Fitness saved my life. The stronger I got physically the stronger I got mentally

“Use the bad stuﬀ, use your pain, use your weaknesses and make something beautiful.”

HG: And over time? CG: It came and went. Like anyone with an eating disorder will tell you, it’s never gone. Sometimes I would be good for three days and then I’d be terrible for a weak. It was never consistent, anyone who thinks you can steadily get better in a linear pattern is crazy. My triggers would sometimes drown me but other times I’ll fight back. I think there’s been points of my life where it’s been worse but I do not think it grew worse with age, it changed form and changed shape but I definitely learnt how to harness my strength and as I grew stronger – my eating disorder grew fainter.

HG: Can you re-call how one of them happened? CG: One I can remember clearly was before a law test, I was so stressed that I was going to fail that I began to absolutely go insane. I lost my vision, my hearing, my sense of distance, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. HG: From your experiences, have you ever received professional help?

CG: Sort of yes and sort of no, my Mum is a clinical psychologist. HG: Do you think there is a correlation between your eating I’ve been prescribed and talked to a doctor about anxiety but disorder and anxiety? I’ve had far less help with my eating. What I have found the most successful was my fantastic naturopath, amazing personal trainer, CG: Bulimia was truly a symptom of the cause, which was my do yoga and talk with nutritionists. somewhat crippling anxiety disorder. I am the QUEEN of over thinking. At my worst I couldn’t order a coﬀee, cross across road HG: And how did you come up with the idea of writing a book? crossings, as I was scared of what the people in the cars would think. I would scream at my parents before any social event, not CG: I wrote my book in order to tell my story about anxiety and attend half the things I was invited to and basically felt unworthy bulimia. These are both topics that I felt and still feel do not get for life. I have always been the most fantastic paradox, confident enough attention nor explanation to children, adults, society and yet unbelievably self-conscious. in the media. I was sick of not feeling understood. HG: Where do you think your anxiety comes from?

HG: What does Bully mean to you?

CG: A lot of my anxiety revolves around the fear of not being CG: What no one really knows is that I actually wrote Bully to my good enough – at a job, as a person, a friend, romantically, intel- younger self. That might sound a bit crazy, but Bully for me was lectually – anything. closure. It was saying goodbye to a version of me, a sad, hurt, young, heartbroken, and scared version of me. Bully is her instruction HG: What will you do to make yourself feel less anxious? manual, it gave her the blue print to piece together her puzzle. CG: I do the opposite of what my anxious self would do. I think ‘what would the best version of me do right now’ and then I do that – if I’m scared of someone, I befriend them, if I’m worried, I’ll fail, I just try it. I get back into my body! Get out of my head! I always think when I’m having a panic attack – what can I see, hear, feel, touch, smell. I always cope by getting back to reality.

HG: Is there one special poem in the book that means more to you?

CG: Yes, multiple times.

CG: The last poem in the book it is called “Dear Future Self”. It was a letter I hand wrote on my birthday in 2016. I sealed the letter in an envelope and wrote on it, ‘open when your dreams come true’. Two years later and one month before I published Bully, I opened the letter. To this day I cannot read it without crying. I wish the girl who wrote it could see herself now. That is why it’s the finale poem in the book. I wrote poetry to heal myself, whether I knew it or not. Bully is the curation of my healing.

HG: Can you call how one of them happened?

HG: Do you feel better about yourself and where you are in life?

CG: One I can remember clearly was before a law test, I was so stressed that I was going to fail that I began to absolutely go insane. I lost my vision, my hearing, my sense of distance, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

CG: Right now I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in. Truly. I have my up’s and down’s but I am so far from where I was and that is all that matters to me. Success is now where you are but how you’ve gotten there and for that I am so so proud. I’m young, still finding my way and I’ve got so far to go but I wish with everything I have that I could show my 16 year old self who she is now.

HG: Did your anxiety ever lead to panic attacks?

HG: What will you do to make yourself feel less anxious? CG: I do the opposite of what my anxious self would do. I think ‘what would the best version of me do right now’ and then I do that – if I’m scared of someone, I befriend them, if I’m worried, I’ll fail, I just try it. I get back into my body! Get out of my head! I always think when I’m having a panic attack – what can I see, hear, feel, touch, smell. I always cope by getting back to reality.

HG: What would be your tips to other going through the same mental health conditions as you have? CG: You are your only limit. You can change this, you can grow and everything that has happened has taught you what you need to know. Use the bad stuﬀ, use your pain, use your weaknesses and make something beautiful.

HG: Did your anxiety ever lead to panic attacks? CG: Yes, multiple times.

Treasure hunt for happiness Studies reveals how being in nature can reduce anger, fear, and stress and increases pleasant feelings. By Helene Grastveit

The so-called happiness ladder is famously used as a way to measure and compare happiness across the globe. Looking at the worlds happiest people repost*, the top countries are all Nordic. In the Nordic countries, you find fresh air, beautiful fjords, amazing light, a rich fauna, unique, captivating beaches and lakes. There are several factors that play a vital role in measuring, but overall those with strong economies and quality of life. Knowing this can make us wonder, is there a correlation between the happiness and the nature around us? Most of us today live in cities and spend far less time outside in green, natural spaces than people did several generations ago. Study done by Mr. Bratma, published National Academy of Sciences, show how city dwellers also have a higher risk for anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses than people living outside of the urban metropolises.

Research reveals that environments can increase or reduce stress, and therefor impact our bodies. The environments we find our self in does not only aﬀect our mood, but how you’re nervous, endocrine, and immune systems are working. Stressful surroundings can cause you to feel anxious or sad. This in turn elevates your blood pressure, heart rate, and muscle tension and suppresses your immune system. Studies found how natural light exposure, by spending time outside or living in a space with natural light, are good for your mood. Those who walked in forests had significantly lower heart rates and higher heart rate variability (indicating more relaxation and less stress), and reported better moods and less anxiety, than those who walked in urban settings. In addition, being out in the nature is said to encourage creativity, helps with your sleep and increases the production of the endorphins in the brain. With increased levels of this hormone you’ll feel clear-headed and more relaxed. Being in nature, or even viewing scenes of nature, reduces anger, fear, and stress and increases pleasant feelings. Exposure to nature not only makes you feel better emotionally but it also contributes to your physical wellbeing.

* World Happiness Report

100

What makes you happy Most of us probably donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t believe we need a formal definition of happiness. We know it when we feel it, and we often use the term to describe a range of positive emotions, including joy, pride, contentment, and gratitude. Many of them use the term interchangeably with subjective well-being, which they measure by simply asking people to report how satisfied they feel with their own lives and how much positive and negative emotion theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re experiencing.

My family

Grey Matter asked kids of diďŹ&#x20AC;erent age and nationalities to draw what made them happy.

My friend

100

My grandma

101

102

Nature and animals

A house to go home to

103

104

My religious upbringing led me to depression How childhood psychology helped me overcome my mental illness

From the outside my life looked pretty normal, I had a loving mum, stepdad and three older siblings from his previous marriage. We had a decent house and I spent my time playing jump rope with the kids in my neighbourhood. We would collectively as a family attend church three times a week and we would have bible study other nights. At the age of seven I started showing signs of depression. My family not knowing how to handle an unhappy child, it went unhandled and untreated until I was nine. During these years the illness grew and festered inside of me until my school noticed a serious weight gain, bullying and isolation as a result of me not understanding my own problems, and children being children. This resulted in me starting to see a therapist. As a young child I did not completely understand the process of therapy and why I had to speak to this strange lady once a week, I especially didn’t understand how this would help the pain I felt inside.

Written by Miranda Edwards*

In the beginning my mum would accompany me but as the sessions progressed I would attend the appointments alone. It took a lot of my therapist to get any useful information out of me, one reason being that I was very guarded, the other one being that I did not appreciate the fact that a grownup had to get paid to sit down and take me seriously. Eventually I started opening up and the information wouldn’t stop. When she realised I was living under extremely religiously strict, cult like surroundings and the pain I was feeling started to make sense. This was the root of the depression that was growing inside of me, but this was also my day-to-day reality. I would be expected to dedicate four out of seven days of the week to religion and on the remaining three I was expected to study the bible and pray. If I didn’t follow strict instructions I would be shunned and thrown into ‘the devil’s world’.

Some religious beliefs may alter brain function, making us more prone to anxiety and depression. Religious Trauma Syndrome mimics the symptoms of many disorders. Miranda Edwards tells her story of how it was growing up in a religious home, which led her to struggle with depression from the age of seven.

The guilt that came with never being good enough, never doing enough and the fear of abandonment if I didn’t follow every single rule was too much for me to handle. I was living in the circumstances that were making me ill and being nine years old I had no power to change it. I could under no circumstances talk

“Having someone make sense of the problems you don’t understand yourself, and having someone listening to me felt good.” 105

to my parents about this because it would be a sign of ‘satan’s influence’ that I doubted my faith. The only person in my life I could talk to about how I was feeling was my therapist, for one hour, once a week.

“My weekly sessions were replaced by one to one bible study with a lady in the congregation.”

The sessions helped me and I became a happier child. Having someone make sense of the problems you don’t understand yourself, and having someone listen to me felt good. I joined a sports team at my school, I got a pet and life was looking brighter. This went on for a good couple months, but my mental illness was always one step behind me, chasing me. own life. Because my depression went untreated and ignored for so long it is something that will always be a part of me. To this day My eleventh year was the one where things took a turn for the I still use therapy as a way of understanding my own feelings, the worse. Because I had been doing so much better, my parents only diﬀerence being that I now use it as prevention to depression decided that there wasn’t a need for therapy anymore. My weekly instead of treatment. sessions were replaced by one to one bible study with a lady in the congregation. This triggered my negative emotions and I had As adults we can seek help and avoid situations on our own terms, nobody to talk about what was really going on. I became more but nothing will ever be as helpful as being heard and understood and more depressed; I started hurting myself physically to have as a child. The importance of attention surrounding mental illness an output for the chaos inside my head. All I wanted was for my in regards to children should never be underestimated. Talk to family to understand me, but the worse I got, the more they used them, listen to them and help them. religion to save me. I was trapped inside the cause of my own depression and I saw no way out. It wasn’t until my mum found her eleven-year-old daughter underneath the staircase trying to end her own life that real measurements were taken to treat my illness. I was moved to a diﬀerent city and a therapist saw me regularly multiple times a week. Slowly but surely I found myself in a sea of coping mechanisms, treatments, new friends and surroundings. I learned to live with my depression and the older I got the more control I had over my

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* Names have been changed due to anonymous purposes

Fit from the inside-out

By Emma Fischer

I am no stranger to the term “exercise” and certainly not unfamiliar in the slightest with the idea of working out and pushing your body to its absolute limits. Like many other Canadian kids my age, sports were a huge part of my life growing up. I played select soccer and I was a competitive swimmer for over a decade, making up the better part of my childhood and adolescent life, only oﬃcially stopping when I started university. Photography by Stalin Marimuthu - Model Virginia L.Gago - Styling by Helene Grastveit - Makeup by Miriam L. Eidesen

How exercise drastically improved my well-being

My life was a series of 4.52am wake up calls followed by a two-hour swim practice, school, dryland training, then another two-hour swim practice only to get home, go to sleep and start it all over again the next day. Add this to the hefty dose of soccer tournaments and out-of-town (and country) swim competitions and combine all of that with homework, band practice, student council and school related events and it made for one busy, busy girl. But in spite of how packed my schedule was at all times, I loved it. Swimming in particular became a part of my identity. I was one of the only people in my school who was a competitive swimmer so for a while, that’s how some people knew me. Swimming was tough, really tough – and anybody who claims that swimming (proper swimming) is easy, is a flat out liar or hasn’t actually learned how to swim the butterfly stroke. To this day, I can remember the exact workouts that made my goggles fill with tears and made me feel like my body was literally failing me. You could talk to any of my old teammates and they’ll be able to tell you the same. The occasional cry during a set wasn’t unusual and it was the perfect place to do so because hey, you’re already wet so nobody can tell if there’s tears running down your face. That being said, the high that I experienced from swimming after a gruelling workout or racing a personal best was unlike any other. It was the ultimate endorphin boost. I felt unstoppable – the feeling that you get only when you’ve pushed yourself to near-failure (and the occasional vomit) but your body pulls through and you succeed. Before every single race, no matter what time – in person, over Facetime, text or phone call, my dad would always tell me, “swim hard, swim fast”. And that’s exactly what I did. Because I loved it. Until I didn’t anymore. I always say that swimming is one of those sports where you’re either 1000 per cent headed to the Olympics or you’re just not, and if you’re not – you have to love the sport with every ounce of your being. It would have been around mid-high school when I realized that my head just wasn’t totally in it anymore. It was no

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longer a source of enjoyment for me and I felt like I was missing out on some parts of my high school experience. I realized that would be the end of my swimming career so I hung up my goggles and fins and as sad as it was to leave the sport that gave me so much, it had to be done.

to do, better myself. The bonus about doing workout classes and my workouts with Alex meant that I could show up and get a good workout without the thinking involved. I didn’t have to do any prep, I showed up, I sweat it all out and I left.

The biggest thing that I’ve gained mentally from all of my exercise is a sense of empowerment. Whether it be strength and conditioning in the weights section or a Reformer Pilates class (my fav workout EVER), seeing myself improve in areas that I didn’t ever think I would improve in gave me that empowered feeling and a sense of pride. Look at me! I can totally do this. Exercise is an area of my life that I can control and seeing all of the things that I can Fast forward to this year and anybody who knows me can tell you do on my own when I trust my body is such a stress reliever for that I work out a lot. Like 6-7 days a week and sometimes twice a me. It brings my anxiety levels down and makes me feel at peace day, a lot. As great as it is to feel the physical benefits of working with myself and whatever is happening in my life at the moment. out (hello chin ups!), 80 per cent of the reason that I personally work out is for the benefits that it has on my mental health. An interesting piece of information that I heard the other day was if you’re having a panic attack, to think of your five senses. Find A year ago, I moved to London completely on my own. I didn’t something you can see, something you can taste, smell, hear, and have any friends here nor family and even my beloved dog, Sully touch. These actions are meant to ground you if you feel a panic was at home in Toronto. Naturally, I felt a bit anxious and stressed attack coming on and feeling grounded subconsciously calms you out so to combat that, one of the first things I set up was my gym down quickly. membership. I needed that outlet and I needed it now, I craved how exercise made me feel and I needed to zone out for a little bit. I realized recently that my way of feeling grounded is through For the month of September and about half of October I went to exercise. I recognize that not everybody is exactly like me, so the gym as much as I could, while juggling classes, an internship what works for me might not work for others, but when I sense and just overall trying to get settled in London. my anxiety levels rising, I know that I have to physically move or do something. If I can’t get to the gym, I go for a walk or a run, It wasn’t until late October when I started working out with my or I take myself through a Pilates session at home – any form Personal Trainer, Alex. It wasn’t because I couldn’t work out on of movement that slows my mind down and brings my focus to my own but because after a series of broken and fractured ankles something else, something more empowering. It calms me down and torn ligaments, I needed to strengthen my ankles so they could within the first 15 minutes and it’s a strategy that I’ve been using keep up with the level of training I was doing. So we started once for a while now. a week with some basic strength training to build strength in my ankles, and I would work out on my own the other days of the week. In addition to helping me manage my anxiety and stress levels, exercise has improved my self-image big time. I still have a very, I enjoyed training with Alex so much that we upped training very long way to go in that department but seeing what my body to twice a week and focused on areas apart from just my ankle can do and watching myself do things that not many other people strength. I was addicted. The gym became my happy place, and can do makes me feel more confident and better in myself as an it still is. When I’m having a bad day, when I’m frustrated about individual which contributes to creating a positive self-image and something or annoyed with somebody, I literally just get up and feeling better from within. go to the gym. Even if I just walk on the treadmill with music blaring through my headphones, I can zone out from the world I’m not trying to be one of those people who just harp on about for an hour or two and ground myself again. how exercise is so great for your mental health (even though it obviously is) so I’m only going to say it once. Find a form of exScientifically, exercise has been proven to boost endorphins and ercise that works for you. Pilates, yoga, HIIT, boxing, running, have a positive eﬀect on your mental health but I didn’t fully un- weights, Lagree, walking – whatever you enjoy. Do it and be patient derstand how much it helped me until I was in a position of need. A with yourself and just wait and see how quickly your mood and few months ago I went through what could be classified as probably mental well-being will positively change. Your mind and holistic the hardest time period in my life thus far. Basically homeless, well-being is just as important as your physical well-being, so why not enjoying school and experiencing some mild Post-Traumatic not conquer both at once? Stress Disorder meant that my usually anxious self was spiralling into panic attack central five out of seven days a week. Finishing up high school and beginning university while not participating in a competitive sport was a huge adjustment for me, I had to find that endorphin boost elsewhere so I turned to the gym. I started out by following programs that I found and enjoyed until I was able to make my own workouts.

The only thing that got me out of bed in the morning, literally, was the gym and knowing that I was showing up and working out with Alex twice a week. I knew that no matter how shit my week and life was going that for that one hour, everything was great. I left everything at the door and only focussed on what I was there

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“The biggest thing that I’ve gained mentally from all of my exercise is a sense of empowerment.”

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Coloring Coloring has the ability to relax the fear center of your brain, the amygdala. It induces the same state as meditating by reducing the thoughts of a restless mind. This generates mindfulness and quietness, which allows your mind to get some rest after a long day at work.

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Useful contacts for talking therapy and counselling Association for Cognitive Analytic Therapists acat.me.uk

British Psychological Society (BPS) 0116 254 9568 bps.org.uk

IAPT (Improved Access to Psychological Therapies) iapt.nhs.uk/services

The Clinic for Boundaries Studies helpline: 0203 468 4194 professionalboundaries.org.uk

Mental Health Matters (MHM) mentalhealthmatters.com

Information and details of accredited cognitive analytic therapy practitioners. Provides a list of chartered psychologists. British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP) 0161 705 4304 babcp.com Provides details of accredited cognitive behaviour therapists.

Support services for those harmed by a professional in a position of trust.

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) 01455 883 300 bacp.co.uk itsgoodtotalk.org.uk

Counselling Directory counselling-directory.org.uk

Directory of therapists provided by the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Cruse Bereavement Care helpline: 0844 477 9400 crusebereavementcare.org.uk

British Association of Play Therapists (BAPT) bapt.info

Support for anyone aﬀected by a death of someone close to you

Provides a list of therapists

Relate 0300 100 1234 relate.org.uk Information about local NHS therapy and counselling services, Support and information for anyone aﬀected by problems which you can often self-refer to (England only). around relationships, including oﬀering relationship counselling. Turning Point turning-point.co.uk 02074 817 600

Provides a counselling helpline and talking therapies in some areas of the UK.

Provides services for people with drug, alcohol and mental health problems.

National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) nice.org.uk Information and clinical guidelines on recommended treatments for diﬀerent conditions, including anxiety disorders NHS Choices service finder nhs.uk/service-search

United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) 020 7014 9955 psychotherapy.org.uk A professional body for the education, training and accreditation of psychotherapists and psychotherapeutic counsellors. It has an online register of psychotherapists oﬀering diﬀerent talking treatments privately.

Search facility which allows you to look for a health service, including a GP, in your area.

Information and details of accredited play therapists.

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