WIRED MAGAZINE
SURVIVALIST THE PREPPERS In this exclusive series of features for Wired Magazine, Helen Vaudrey asks the question: If armageddon is truly an eventuality, how would we as a race survive? This month we meet the Preppers - civilians who are already preparing for the end of the world.
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tribe of extraordinary men and women exist in the world that you may never have heard of before. No, this isn’t another insightful article into secretive tribes in Indonesia who sacrifice pigs for religious pomp and circumstance, these tribes are found much closer to home. ‘Preppers’, as they have affectionately dubbed themselves, are men and women of a somewhat paranoid disposition who spend their lives prepping for the end of the world. These rather fatalistic individuals have built up international communities from places as far flung as China and New Zealand - but the majority is based in the USA and the UK. Meet Steve Hart. He runs a popular prepping blog in the UK and lives his life as though the apocalypse could strike tomorrow. On his website, he features many handy articles such as “where to find the best foldable saw” and “how to stop bleeding quickly with black pepper.” Pepper survival tips from a seasoned Prepper? You couldn’t make it up. “The trick is to douse it over an open wound and wrap it up as best you can, it’s not medically proven to stop bleeding, and my finger still can’t bend properly, but it worked for me,” says Steve without a hint of irony “in any case, in the case of an emergency, who has time to go to the doctor? What if there was a zombie attack? You won’t be getting any prescriptions from the pharmacy then.” It’s a question that has often plagued my mind. But before I have time to question Steve on the likelihood of medication-mad zombies infiltrating earth, he has gone into another tirade down the phone. “The thing is, people think us Preppers are barmy, but we’re not, we’re realists. We’re more real than all those other people out there staring at computer screens and lapping up celebrity magazines in sheer ignorance of the world around them. When disaster strikes, Katie Price will not be welcome in my bunker, I can tell you that for nothing.” He pauses here for dramatic effect. “Ask our brothers in America, they have the right idea. They’re building huge bunkers for their family and friends, some of them even have sofas and LED 30 inch screens in them,” irony seems to be a thing of myth in Steve’s world, “they’re ready for anything from nuclear attack to the little ones demanding a bacon sandwich. Let me ask you something: if disaster strikes tomorrow, what would you do?” This throws me. I think of my modest flat in Islington with its flowery bedding, plush cushions and sheepskin rugs. It doesn’t even have double glazing, let alone bullet proof glass.
. I’d be screwed. “Not sure,” I reply, “probably stake out in my landlords basement.” “Is it reinforced for missile attack?” “No. But it’s a wine cellar, so I doubt I’d care after the fifth bottle.” Silence. Apparently survival is no laughing matter. I hear a rustling down the phone and briefly wonder if Steve is currently fighting off a grizzly bear or holding off a poisonous serpent with a baton as he chats to me. “Sorry,” says Steve distractedly, “trying to open my Shredded Wheat.” “Those boxes are a bugger.” “No, it’s one those plastic containers. My wife keeps buying them and they’re annoying as hell.” Hearing Steve betray a little bit of normality is a rather comforting thought. In my mind I envisage him holed up in a bug-out den (a term used to describe a safe-house full of food and weapons in case of attack) feasting on insects and wearing twigs
Lincoln Miles in Prepper Shop by Helen Vaudrey
in his hair to disguise into his surroundings. In actual fact he lives in Somerset with his wife and two children. “Look, all I’m trying to do is get the message out to people: our days are numbered. You can’t rely on the government to have your back; you have to watch your own.” In spite of myself I remember the conversation I had with Lord Jack McConnell in the last edition of WIRED and relay this information to Steve. “According to the former First Minister of Scotland, the Continuity of Government plans we have in place currently have no steps in place to save members of the public. Just themselves – and only a small number of them too!” “Are you surprised? They’re only out for themselves.” “And you aren’t? What if Katie Price came knocking at your door during a zombie attack.” “I doubt we’d see much change in her if she was captured,” says Steve bluntly. Preppers really are an extraordinary kind of people. Whilst researching into apocalyptic preparations, I am beginning to find it slightly disconcerting that a man who teaches people how to make a Nordic neck knife with fire in his back garden distills more trust in my safety than the actual government or scientists. Maybe if we had a few guys like Steve Watt shaking things up in Parliament the world would actually be a much safer place to live in. Either that or he’d send us all living in the underground like moles waiting patiently for doomsday to make its jolly way towards us.
Another man who’s a regular on the UK prepping scene is 32 year old Lincoln Miles - the owner of the only Prepper shop in the country. The website boasts a plethora of items: gas masks, stab vests, chemical suits and respirator cases. They even have a kids section to select from: though I’d personally recommend parents stick to Toy’s R’ Us when shopping for their little darlings. “We opened the shop because we saw a gap in the market,” says Miles from a hotel phone booth in America. He’s on a research and resourcing trip and is trying to forge contacts with the Prepper community in the States. “I know it sounds like a crazy thing to do to some people, but the company is in profit so that shows there is a huge demand for these products. I think people are scared about the issues we talk about but they just don’t voice their opinions much because they’re scared they’ll sound like a wacko. That’s something I deal with every day!” Despite saying this, Steve actually sounds like a pretty down to earth guy. He has a sincerity in his voice that comes from the heart and not from a paranoid or anxious disposition. “What do you think people are most scared about in this day in age, Steve?”
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WIRED MAGAZINE
“Well it all depends on the times. Last year there was a huge soar in profits for us because of the Ebola crisis. It was mental. I know it sounds bad to profit from things like that, but at the end of the day we’re protecting people. We’re living in such uncertain times these days, it seems natural to me that people are thinking about their safety. I don’t understand the stigma around people going out of their way to protect loved ones. I think it’s a great thing to do.” Asked if he thought civilians had a realistic chance of survival if mass war or another disaster befallen us, Lincoln is surprisingly cool. “Well I wouldn’t be doing this job if I didn’t believe in the power of the people. Don’t underestimate us,” says Lincoln, who clearly doesn’t count me as a human for some reason; “we’re born survivors. We adapt and we survive, the human race has done it for centuries and will continue to do it again.” People like Steve and Lincoln are few and far between, but the likelihood of more Preppers popping up over the next few years is very high. With the ISIS regime recently gaining control of 50% of Syria, tensions between Russia and the West escalating, North Koreas constant threats to nuke the rest of us into oblivion, and climate change wreaking havoc through eastern Asia and further afield, the threat to our planet has never been more desperate. Although it’s easy to scoff at the Preppers sprouting their doom and gloom message (and believe me, it is) there is a lot to be said for their actions. If disaster did strike tomorrow: what would you do? After researching into this series of features over the last few weeks, I have come to a resounding conclusion… Apocalyptic party, my landlord’s basement, free booze, free entry, brings as many friends as you like.
Handgun
Lighter
Supplies of water and filter First Aid Kit
Extra strength flashlight
Sleeping bag 5