We Are Durham v II by The Herald Sun

get’em while they’re hot

HELIUM-FILLED FLYING SHARKS AND CLOWNFISH

memorable gifts

MOST MEMORABLE MOMENTS SHARED

T H E

holiday sweets

TASTY TREATS THAT MAKE THE HOLIDAY

M A G A Z I N E

Gifts Sharing Our

november 2011

the

features

magazine

Focusing on events, people, and organizations that make our community great.

Publisher Rick Bean

editor Nancy Wykle

A d v e rt i s i n g director Thomas Tuttle

A d v e rt i s i n g M a n a ge r David Jones

Gr aph i c D e s i gn M a n a ge r Thomas Massey

Gr aph i c D e s i gn e r Pam Lappegard november 2011 contents

For advertising and account information, call

919-419-6706

6 8

he art and etiquette of gift T giving The art and etiquette of gift giving Get’em While They’re Hot Remote control helium-filled flying sharks or clownfish

10 Custom FABRIC COMPANY Make custom gifts using Durham’s own Spoonflower

12 HOLIDAY SWEETS Tasty treats that make the holiday 17 SHARE YOUR CHRISTMAS Help thousands have a brighter holiday 20 26

The Gift Without a price tag They come with thought Durham NativitY SCHOOL Generous hearts fuel tuition-free school

34 GAMES Video games and Internet culture 36 Casserole Ministry Giving to the hungry year-round

Most Memorable Gifts 18 22 23

A TRUE MIRACLE by Jeff Whitt WE WERE HOPEFUL by Michael Munger MY FIRST NEW CAR by Lewis Ferebee

24 31 35 39

Tears still come to my eyes by Gail Mills I COULD ONLY SOB by April Perry Grateful everyday by Tracy Mancini SHE WORKS SO HARD by Wanda Maggart

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Enjoy the

Spirit

of the

Giving Season As we talked about the notion further, it developed into some wonderful ideas.

One of the worst Christmases I ever had was my own doing. I was probably 7 or 8, and went searching for my Christmas presents. And I found them. The effort to act excited and surprised — at least, I suppose, I had the good sense to do that and not ruin the day for my parents as well — was awful, since I was neither. There was nothing under the tree that I didn’t already know about. Lesson learned. Three other holidays really stand out. The year my husband gave me an engagement ring; the year my parents made my sisters and me pack up a Pizza Hut cardboard replica to give it to a family whose kids were not going to have a Christmas otherwise; and the year my parents gave me a toy pinball machine. It was just the right height for little me, and it lit up and dinged like a real pinball machine. Gifts do make an impression — the sentimental, the really cool, the sharing with others. When I was talking to editorial page editor Betsy O’Donovan about what we would do for this incarnation of the We Are Durham magazine, she hit upon a beautiful idea: What makes a good gift? Her father, it seems, is the perfect gift-giver. He knows without asking what people would like. Betsy’s inherited his grace on that point.

Is the perfect present sharing a gift you have, such as creating a warm, hospitable place for friends to gather? Is it one that makes a difference in someone’s life, like paying a child’s school tuition? Is it making nourishing food year-round for people who need it? Is it finding something so cool that the recipient can’t wait to show others? Is it having something custom-made so its originality matches that of the person who inspired it? Neil Offen reached out to Bull City residents to inquire about the best gift they’ve ever received. Their personal accounts were moving and wonderful, and reflective of the season we are entering. We are very grateful to them for sharing their experiences. We have advice on the etiquette of giving. I want to buy the newsroom the shark from Morgan Imports (I suspect ruining the surprise of a gift is not good etiquette). When Christine Nguyen came back from taking pictures there, the first thing she said was the shark was incredibly cool. Turn a few pages in, and you’ll find Kelly Poe’s piece on some of this year’s neatest gifts, including that shark. Our staff enjoyed doing this magazine, and covering the breadth of giving, from gifts that cost time instead of dollars, to charitable gifts, to gift ideas that are just plain fun. Enjoy this season of fun and blessings. Enjoy the gifts you receive and those you share with others. We hope you find some inspirations in the following pages.

Nancy Wykle is editor of The Herald-Sun. You can reach her at (919) 419-6644 or nwykle@heraldsun.com 4

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The art and

etiquette

BY KELLY pOE news@heraldsun.com

of gift giving

durhAM – Consider this classic conflict in any holiday season: People hate to give gift cards, but they love to get them.

“You go home and you find out your significant other buys you the exact same sweater, with money from your joint checking account.

Inevitably, most people receive a gift that they hate every year. While sending a check might be the gift with the most utility, when people give gifts, they’re not aiming for utility; they’re aiming to strengthen their relationships. Many economists point out that millions of dollars are wasted on gifts every year. People frequently get gifts that they may not ever use. The gift with the most fiscal value is undoubtedly cold hard cash.

Dan Ariely, professor of behavioral economics at Duke University.

“How would you feel? Most people would feel fantastic.”

“

This scenario exemplifies the perfect gift, Ariely said: something you love but feel too guilty to buy. A perfect gift is something that someone would have bought for themselves, but didn’t because of the price or other concerns. The label on an item as a gift – even if the money for it would come from the recipient’s own checking account – makes guilt disappear.

the best way to give a good gift is to

Although it’s difficult to get right, the best gifts have more than monetary value. According to Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at Duke University and author of “Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces that Shape our Decisions,” a book studying the psychology of spending money, the best gifts involve one key element: guilt.

”

listen

“Imagine that you are walking down the street, and all of the sudden you see a beautiful cashmere sweater,” Ariely said. “You love it and you go in and check it, but you look at the price tag and it’s just ridiculous. So you put it away.

A key part of this example is that the gift is something the recipient wanted. If it were an expensive gift – say, $40 or so – and not exactly what the person wanted, then that person might only receive $20 worth of enjoyment out of that gift. That’s a $20 deadweight loss. According to the National Retail Federation, Americans spent $452.9 billion on the holidays in 2010, so there’s a lot of that loss every year. “There’s a reason people give gifts. It’s to send a signal to the SEE ETIQUETTE/pAGE 23

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Air Swimmers, remote control helium-filled flying sharks or clownfish, are expected to be one of the hot gifts this year. Swimmers are being sold at Morgan Imports.

Get’em While They’re Hot 8

BY KELLY pOE |news@heraldsun.com

pHOTO BY CHRISTINE T. NGUYEN | THE HERALD-SUN

DURHAM – Durham merchants expect a good mix of classic gifts and trendy gifts this holiday season. Employees from Morgan Imports, at 113 S. Gregson St., and the Play House Toy Store, at 702 Ninth St., shared what they believe will be the hottest gift items this year. Here are a few high-lights that merchants expect to fly off the shelves: • Air Swimmers: This remote-controlled shark can circle just about any prey, and getting out of the water might not help. The shark is about 4 feet long. Swimmers are also available in clownfish (but is it really as much fun without the teeth?). • Toms shoes: Jacqueline Morgan, owner and buyer at Morgan Imports, said Toms have been a popular item for a while, but she expects that to continue. Morgan attributes that popularity to the fact that for every pair of Toms purchased, the company donates a pair of shoes to a needy child. • Pyramid puzzles: Psychologists call it the IKEA affect: People value things highly that they’ve had some part in making. Naturally, this makes puzzles a popular choice, but these aren’t your grandmother’s puzzles. These 3-D jigsaws are building models as much as pictures. • Active toys: “We sell a ton of hula hoops – for adults,” said Donna Frederick, buyer at the Play House. Toys that require playing outside are quite popular for adults and children alike. • Family games: Some classic, some new, but games that can be played at all ages are still big sellers. Some of the hottest games include Set and Quiddler. • Bucky Balls: Tiny, high-powered magnets that can build all kinds of shapes – great for your favorite engineer or chemist. • Nanoblocks: The world’s smallest toy building blocks. They don’t seem to be that different than any other building blocks, except that they’re really, really small. But it does make them versatile for building, and stores expect to sell a lot of them. • Scarves: If you need to a buy a gift for a woman and don’t know what to get her, a classic scarf looks good on everyone. Because of this, Morgan expects them to be a top seller just as they have been many other years. 9

Custom Gift?

Want to Make a

Try making fabric using Durham’s own Spoonflower, a custom fabric company

BY LAURA OLENIACZ loleniacz@heraldsun.com

DURHAM – If you’re a crafty, do-it-yourselfer, you can create your own fabric using Durham’s own Spoonflower Inc. to create a custom gift for the holidays. The website, Spoonflower.com, allows its users to create fabric from anything ranging from a child’s drawing to professional-quality graphics. All it takes is a piece of digital art, said Stephen Fraser, cofounder and co-owner of Durham’s Spoonflower.

Then, the user chooses how to lay out the image, which type of fabric to print the image on, and the fabric quantity.

“

Fraser gave a few examples of gifts that can be made using the Spoonflower fabric, including a pillow case collaged with family photos. Fraser said he and his wife made a pillow by uploading photos from a family reunion to the online photo management and sharing website Flickr, and then collaging them using another website Picnik. He said they printed the fabric on two panels, and then Fraser’s wife sewed the two panels together back-to-back.

Dachshunds or zombies - you can find the perfect fabric .

Fraser said customers can choose the size of fabric, whether it’s an 8-by-8 swatch, a yard of fabric, or more. The cost of the fabric is $16.20 per yard, and $5 per swatch, according to spoonflower.com. Then it takes about two to three weeks for the fabric to arrive, unless the customer chooses rush service, Fraser said. “If you’re out … gift shopping for something you can make with photos, you can get T-shirts printed, coffee mugs, mouse pads, you can do a calendar - all of those are really fun gift ideas,” Fraser said. “I would never discourage them. But, if you’re the kind of person who likes to make something buy hand, Spoon-

”

“We bought just a very inexpensive, 14inch pillow form (that) you can get at Michael’s or (Jo-Ann Fabric & Crafts), and put it on there, and made a pillow, and some other family members liked it so much, they did it for other family members,” he said. He said it’s also easy to create fabric and make a child’s drawing to turn it into a pillow, a blanket or a quilt. There’s also already a range of fabrics on their site to fit an individual’s taste. “Dachshunds or zombies - you can find the perfect fabric for that person on our site,” he added.

Create a pillow with custom fabric from Spoonflower.com like the one co-created by Stephen Fraser, co-founder and co-owner of Spoonflower Inc. Users can design their own fabric using a digital image on Spoonflower.com.

Photo and fabric swatches courtesy of Spoonflower and Spoonflower.com

The user uploads the image – whether it be a photograph from a digital camera, or a drawing or a painting that’s been scanned into a computer - to Spoonflower’s website.

flower is one of the only places where you could create custom fabrics to make something by hand.”

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holiday sweet

Tasty treats make the BY LAURA OLENIACZ loleniacz@heraldsun.com

durhAM – This is the second holiday season for Scratch Bakery, the bakery and café that opened in downtown Durham in the summer of last year selling handcrafted pies, doughnuts, and cookies. The bakery opened at 111 Orange St. after owner and baker Phoebe Lawless’ business at the Durham Farmers’ Market grew to the point that she needed her own shop. Lawless is the former eight-year pastry chef at Magnolia Grill in Durham who left the restaurant when she had a baby, but couldn’t stop baking. She applied to sell her pies at the Durham Farmers’ Market, but was rejected twice. When she finally got in, she said her business took off. She now has three other bakers who arrive in the wee hours of the morning to start work when it’s peaceful, quiet and dark. By 9 a.m., the light is streaming into the windows, and there’s a lively chatter going from the shop’s customers.

flavor comes through rather than (getting) bogged down by spices,” Lawless said. The bakery also sells doughnut muffins that are basted in butter and rolled in spiced sugar, which can make for a tasty treat on a holiday morning. The bakery also sells – starting after Thanksgiving - a holiday cookie box that includes whatever is in the oven at the time, Lawless said. This year, she planned to include the Rugelach holiday cookie made with cream cheese dough and a nut or fruit filling, as well as chocolate peppermint crinkle cookies. The pies range in price from $16 to $22, the doughnuts sell for $20 per dozen, the holiday cookie box costs $22. The bakery has a holiday menu that is available instore, at 3Cups in Chapel Hill, and on its website. That menu includes several other pies.

Lawless said she’s excited for the bakery’s second holiday season. Scratch has several items that can make good holiday gifts or good additions to a holiday meal.

Scratch needs 72 hours’ notice to bake an item in time for Christmas. For more information, call 919-956-5200, or go to www.piefantasy.com.

The bakery sells several pies that are sturdy enough to be given as gifts, Lawless said, such as the Brown Butter Pecan, the Heirloom Apple with crumb topping, and the N.C. Peanut Pie.

Need other ideas for holiday gifts? Check out these Durham shops, bakeries and markets.

There’s also the Shaker Lemon pie for the true lemonlover, and the Buttermilk Sweet Potato Pie, a souﬄé pie made with heirloom sweet potatoes that has a less dense texture than traditional pumpkin pie. “It’s actually quite light, and more of the sweet potato

Wine Authorities If you want to pick up several North Carolina-made food gift items in one stop, Wine Authorities on University Road carries the cheese of several North Carolina cheese producers, beer from three Durham breweries, as well as peanut butter, salami, and other items made in the state. SEE TREATS/pAGE 14

Treats

FROM pAGE 12

The shop carries six kinds of Raleigh-made Escazu Chocolates, said Craig Heffley, owner of Wine Authorities, which are sold within days of production. Big Spoon Roasters peanut butter, made from peanuts from local growers, is also sold at the shop in two sizes, in 8-ounce or 16-ounce jars. Heffley said he carries Peanut Butter, Peanut Almond Butter and Peanut Cashew Butter. And as far as wines go, Heffley said he doesn’t carry any North Carolina wines. All of the wines he carries are from family-owned, “farmer-grown” producers that offer quality at competitive price, he said. Bottles range in price from $7.50 to $50. Wine Authorities does ship. For more information, call 919-489-2884. foster’s MArKet Foster’s Market, the gourmet food market and café in Chapel Hill and Durham, sells several canned items under its own label that can be bought in-store or online, and shipped anywhere in the continental United States. The market’s most popular item sold under is own label is the Seven Pepper Jelly, said Leslie Rowe, market catering manager. The jelly can be served on crackers with cream cheese as a snack food, used as part of a pork loin glaze, as a condiment to add flavor to a sandwich, or incorporated into a cranberry sauce recipe, Rowe said. “It’s a really quintessential item – on mains, sides, hors d’oeuvres; inside a puff pastry,” Rowe said. Foster’s also has two types of barbecue sauce whose recipes were introduced in market owner Sara Foster’s new cookbook “Sara Foster’s Southern Kitchen.” They’re also selling the market’s classic tart, chunky, and sweet – but not too sweet, according to Rowe – apple sauce. “It’s also nice to kind of give people a taste of what you have everyday – a taste of your town,” she said. For more information, go to www.fostersmarket. com.

counter culture coffee If you have a loved one who loves coffee, one gift idea is a bag of bean from Durham-based Counter Culture Coffee, a coffee company that roasts its own. Sales from the company’s 2011 Holiday Blend benefits school-building and community development projects in Ethiopia, said Mark Overbay, marketing and communications manager for the company, in an e-mail. To order coffee, go to my.counterculturecoffee.com. guglhuPf bAKerY & PAtisserie There are tarts, honey cakes, and other baked goods for sale at Durham’s Guglhupf Bakery & Patisserie, with makes German and French artisan breaks, as well as breads, rolls, cakes and pastries handmade in a traditional European style. One of Guglhupf ’s most popular holiday gifts is the Dresden-style Christmas Stollen, said Sasha Travers, a spokeswoman for the business. The treat, which is available after Thanksgiving, is filled with fruit, nuts and spices, and is covered with powdered sugar. It keeps for several weeks. There’s also Christmas sugar cookies, a traditional German baked Christmas spiced honey-cake Lebkuchen, and the tart Engadiner Nusstorte, which is filled with carmelized wildflower honey and walnuts. Guglhupf also sells holiday cookies in half-pound or quarter-pound bags. The cookie selection includes Spekulatius, a German Christmas cookie with spice and almonds, the cinnamon stars Zimtstern, and Gingersnaps. All of the items can be shipped within the continental United States, Travers said in an e-mail, and are also available online at www.guglhupf.com, by phone at 919-401-2600, or instore. Check online for pricing.

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Share Your Christmas Help thousands have a brighter holiday!

BY DAWN BAUMGARTNER VAUGHAN dvaughan@heraldsun.com; 419-6563

durhAM – It began in 1976 when the Volunteer Center of Durham, Durham Social Services and The Herald-Sun came together to find a way to match those who wanted to share their Christmas with those who are less fortunate. Modeled after a Fayetteville program, Share Your Christmas launched that year and served about 200 Durham families. The Volunteer Center organized the program and fielded calls to match gift givers with families referred by DSS. This newspaper ran essays written by volunteers about each family and individual in need of things to place under the Christmas tree. The tradition continues today in the same format, though the wish list has grown quite a bit. Within a few years of its founding, the number of people served quickly grew to 400 to 500, said Anne Moore, who has been involved for 35 years. She was a volunteer in the 1970s and went on to be director of the Volunteer Center until her retirement in 1994. After leveling off for awhile, the numbers grew and now Share Your Christmas serves more than 1,000 families and senior citizens each holiday season.

“

“A lot of people get great joy out of shopping for others,” Moore said. “I think at that time of year, people are most interested in helping those in need.” After her retirement, Moore came back as a volunteer, answering the Share Your Christmas phone line and doing administrative work. Kathy Kenney, new this year at the helm of the Share Your Christmas program, is a clinical social worker who began working at the Volunteer Center as a volunteer. She said that DSS’ database this year includes 1,100 families, and volunteers are needed to help with this year’s program.

Share Your Christmas an annual tradition.

Requested gifts are modest and practical. Most need necessities like underwear and winter coats. Children ask for toys, but need clothes, too. Those who sponsor a family or senior citizen may deliver the gifts themselves or arrange for delivery through DSS and the Volunteer Center. Sponsors spend at least $50 for every person sponsored. Moore said that many church groups and offices call every year, making giving through Share Your Christmas an annual tradition.

”

Kenney said that she and her children have been very fortunate in life, and she wants to be in a position to help those in need. Share Your Christmas provides an opportunity for the entire community to support other families and older adults, she said.

“This is a marvelous opportunity for Durham to speak to that we care about Durham folks,” she said. For more information about the program, visit www.thevolunteercenter.org. To become a volunteer – answering phones, writing essays, shopping for gifts and other duties – call the Volunteer Center at (919) 613-5101 or email Kathy@thevolunteercenter.org. To Share Your Christmas with others and donate gifts, call the SYC sponsorship line at (919) 684-9690.

Most

MEMORABLE GIFT

‘true

miracle’

BY JEFF WHITT

In remembering past Christmas moments and gifts, it would be easy to think about a special monetary or physical gift that I received. However, the most memorable gift was so much more than anyone could ever afford. It all began when my youngest son, Carter Whitt, was diagnosed at age 3 with acute myeloid leukemia. Carter is the youngest of our five boys, and anyone who has ever experienced a child’s diagnosis of cancer, or any major illness, can understand how the world was turned upside down for my wife, Lisa, and me. Not only did we have to be strong for Carter, we also had to help our other boys understand the process of what we were about to face — it was truly an insurmountable task. Through a very rough year of treatment, which included several intense series of chemotherapy, we found ourselves at the beginning of the 2005 Christmas season facing the doctors’ news that the treatment was not successful, and the cancer was spreading. They looked at my wife and me and told us, “Please try your best to enjoy the holiday season, because we believe that this will be his last with you all.” Our world crumbled around us at that moment — everything became numb. Any hope we had for our son’s recovery was shattered at those words as we entered “the most wonderful time of time of the year.”

Jeff Whitt with his son, at Carter’s 9th birthday party

Submitted

As we struggled telling our family and friends of this news, our church family (and entire community) began to pray for our son during the holiday season. My wife, parents and everyone truly tried to keep our family together, but it was so hard to spend Christmas celebrating when we knew what the New Year was already showing it was bringing to our family. After Christmas, we took our son back to Kings Daughters to find out what our next move was going to be — praying for a donor for the bone marrow transplant or whatever it took to save our son. In no way were we expecting what was going to happen next. After the doctors ran the necessary blood work, they entered the room, completely puzzled, to inform us that there was absolutely no sign of cancer in his body. They even took us to show us how aggressive the cancer was before the holiday season began, and now the slide which showed no sign at all. So, in speaking of the greatest Christmas gift I (and our family) has ever received, it has to be the true miracle we experienced in our son’s complete healing. He is now 10 and continues to be in remission today. Jeff Whitt is a language arts teacher and head football coach at Carrington Middle School.

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The gift without a price tag BY NEIL OFFEN noffen@heraldsun.com

“

That’s the key to gifts that cost little if no money — they have to come with thought, and from the heart.

DURHAM — It may seem obvious, it may seem hackneyed. It may even seem antithetical in a world awash in consumerism. But it’s true: It really is the thought that counts. You don’t have to spend lots of money this holiday season to tell someone that you care. You don’t have to go on a shopping whirlwind to give a gift that means something — to the person who receives it, but also to the person who gives it. Amanda Ackermann, exploring the bins at the Scrap Exchange recently, was planning on making some kind of flower pot for her niece. “She’s really getting into gardening, and I wanted her to have something that wasn’t just a commercial product,” Ackermann said. “I want her to know that this is something I took time to make and really thought about and worked on.” That’s the key to gifts that cost little if no money — they have to come with thought, and from the heart. They can be something you make or a service that you provide. They can be a promise for the future or a remembrance from the past. Here are some ideas for gifts — suggested by some local residents and by the organization buynothingchristmas.org — where you don’t need a thick wallet or hefty purse to get through the holiday season: ● Bake someone their favorite cake. Or a special holiday cake. ● Oﬀer to walk their dog for a week when they’re away — or even when they’re home. ● Do you have an artistic skill? If you’re able to paint, a simple watercolor artwork on a mat makes a really nice gift. Even if you’re not an artist, you can make things with very low-cost materials from a craft store or from the Scrap

”

Exchange. Decorate a notebook or picture frame or create a bouquet of dried flowers. ● Watch someone’s kids. Offer to take the kids for a Saturday or pick them up after school or have them for dinner at your house one evening. ● Mow someone’s lawn, or rake leaves off their lawn or water the lawn when it looks dry. ● Wrap up a book that you’ve read already and love and give it to someone you love. ● Make a meal for someone — with all the fixings, salad, vegetables, dessert — and bring it hot and piping to their house. ● Volunteer at a charity that’s important to your gift recipient. Donate your time in their name. ● Offer to clean someone’s house, either one time or regularly. ● Give a gift of homemade cookies — who doesn’t like chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin? ● Pass your culinary traditions on to your friends or family. Create a recipe booklet containing a collection of your favorite holiday recipes. ● Give the gift of time or skills. If you can play the piano, give music lessons as a gift. Do you know how to do bike tune-ups? Do it for someone or teach them how to do it. SEE GIFT/pAGE 22

Gift

MY FROM pAGE 21

Most

MEMORABLE GIFT

A wine connoisseur? Oﬀer your expertise as a gift. Can you help somebody set up a blog? Plant a garden? Learn to change the oil in their car? They are all gifts that would be greatly appreciated. ● For a relative, write a family history with Uncle Charlie or your cousin Carolyn at the center.

● Create personal gift certificates. Give new parents a gift certificate for a night of baby-sitting so that they can enjoy a night on the town. If you’re good with computers, give your brother-in-law a gift certificate for free computer repairs. ● For a grandparent or other older relative, create a memory jar. Contact friends and family members and ask them to send a written memory or an old picture. Then put each memory or picture on a small card, fold them, put a ribbon around them, and put them all in a big jar. Every morning for the next year, your grandfather or older relative can take out a card. ● Make a mixed tape CD of your favorite songs — or great holiday songs or the gift recipient’s favorite songs. Make someone laugh. Send them a letter — or even an email — with your favorite jokes. ● Give the gift of time. Commit to playing with your kids every Tuesday, say, at 6 p.m. for a year. Any game the kid wants to play. Ashley Milner, shopping recently at Target in Durham, said she’s a firm believer of giving gifts that don’t come with large price tags. Milner had just finished buying a pack of 3-by-5inch index cards. She wanted them because she was going to make “wish cards.” “I give them as gifts,” she said. “Everyone who gets them gets to make a wish for something they want to do, and I try to make the wish come true.” The wishes have to meet certain criteria, of course. But “you’d be surprised at how easy it is to do this,” Milner said. 22

Photo Submitted

● For your children, put together a scrapbook of photos of them at diﬀerent ages. Or pictures of them together with their best friends.

were hopeful’

Donna Munger, with her son Kevin Michael.

‘We

BY MICHAEL MUNGER

Christmas, 1989: My first son, Kevin Michael, was born on Dec 22. It was unbelievably cold, 4 degrees, that morning in Austin, Texas, where we lived. My wife Donna appeared to be OK after the birth, but it turned out her spinal cord had been nicked by the placement of the needle for the epidural. She had no muscle control, and little sensation, below the waist. But she came home on the 23rd, in a wheelchair. I had to carry her to the bathroom, and the shower, and to come out to eat. By the 25th, Christmas Day, she had recovered some feeling in one of her legs, and we were hopeful that she would recover fully. It took six weeks, but she did! Michael Munger is a professor at Duke University and director of the philosophy, politics and economics program there.

Most

‘first new car’

MEMORABLE GIFT

BY LEWIS FEREBEE

Photo courtesy of www.creativesoulphoto.com

Lewis Ferebee and his wife, Edye, but not with their Toyota Corolla.

The most memorable gift I have ever received was a new car my senior year of college. It was a Toyota Corolla and the first new car off the lot I had driven. The old Hyundai I was driving died a couple of months before and I was struggling to get to and from work at my part-time job at Oak Grove Elementary School, which seemed far away from campus at the time.

Etiquette

FROM pAGE 6

recipient saying ‘I bought you something I think you might like’,” said Lydia Yao, a 2009 Duke University graduate who wrote her honors thesis on the economics of gift-giving. The problem with gifts like money or bank-issued gift cards is that they are a mere transfer of wealth. While this may be a better gift than an object that the recipient may not want at all, it’s not going to bring you and the recipient any closer in your relationship. If you don’t have any idea of what to get someone, Yao said the best solution is a gift card. You might not know what books someone has already read or what books he or she likes to read, but by buying them a gift card to a book store, you’re showing that you know at least that they like books.

A week or so after I arrived back on campus we had a snowstorm and two college friends were stranded across the street from campus at Burger King, and I gave them a ride back to campus in my shiny new car. One of those friends would become my wife three years later whom I have been married to for 13 wonderful years. Lewis Ferebee is chief of staff of Durham Public Schools.

“It gives them that ability to spend money on things they actually want,” Yao said. “If you want to give the perfect gift, you would want to give them something they would have bought for themselves, but that’s really hard to do. If you can do it, that’s great. But every year people will give a gift that’s a little bit off target.” Marjorie George, a Durham resident who writes a culture blog, said good gifts show you know something about a person, so the best way to give a good gift is to listen. If a party invitation says no gifts, then don’t bring a gift, she said. If you feel you must give a gift, it’s tasteful to bring a donation to a charity that person cares about. George also suggests gifts from local merchants. They tend to be more unique, and you’re also giving the local economy a gift. “People don’t necessarily need something, but a gift of love from one person to another is knowing what will bring joy to that person,” George said. “If you don’t know, then choose something that makes the world a better place.” 23

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MEMORABLE GIFT

‘Tears still come to

my eyes’

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BY GAIL MILLS

One of the gifts that stands out in my mind is a gift that was given to our 3 ½ year old son shortly after we moved to Durham to start the [Rescue] Mission. Those were very lean days and there wasn’t going to be much gift-giving in our family that year, but God had other plans! On Christmas Eve, two ladies dropped by our house to deliver Christmas gifts for our children! They gave our young son a race car set. You put the little car on the race track and it spiraled down it’s way to the bottom of the track! Well, his eyes lit up and he said, “thank you, thank you. I have wanted one of these for a hundred years!” Tears still come to my eyes as I remember the thoughtfulness of those two anonymous ladies who dropped by our house 36 years ago to make sure our children had gifts for Christmas. And today God continues to bless us with many special friends who have loving and giving hearts to make sure every resident at the Durham Rescue Mission have gifts to open on Christmas. What a wonderful community we live in and we are blessed to be part of it! Gail Mills is co-founder and chief financial officer of the Durham Rescue Mission.

The goal of Cribs for Kids of Durham is to: • ensure a safe sleep environment for all newborns • reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) • ensure that every parent has a crib that needs one WELCOME BABY, a parenting support and education program of the Durham County Cooperative Extension has become a National Cribs for Kids® chapter. This self-sustaining non-profit program purchases and distributes new Pack-n-Play® porta-cribs at a discounted price for parents in need in the Durham community. Each family receives Cribs for Kids safe sleep training before receiving a crib. Families take ownership in the program by contributing a $10 co-pay to cover the shipping cost of the crib. All cribs are purchased through private, tax-deductible donations from the community. In order to be eligible, parents must receive a referral from an authorized healthcare provider or social worker. Children must be between the ages of 0-6 months. Cribs are distributed on a first come, first serve basis and is contingent on continued donations to the program. Follow us on… Facebook-Welcome Baby Twitter-WelBaby Online- www.welcombaby.org

Welcome Baby is a program of the Durham County Cooperative Extension and also receives funding from Durham’s Partnership for Children, a Smart Start Initiative. 721 Foster Street, Durham, NC, 27701, 919-560-7150, www.welcomebaby.org

Generous hearts fuel tuition-free Durham Nativity School By Melody Guyton Butts mbutts@heraldsun.com; 419-6684

Donors, giving hundreds of thousands of dollars each year, see gifts as community investment The all-boys school, which has an enrollment of 45 students, offers small class sizes (15 students per grade level) and operates on an extended-day, extended-year model. And, important for the financially challenged families that send their boys to school there, Durham Nativity is tuition-free, thanks to the money, time and in-kind donations from hundreds of individuals, foundations, churches and businesses. A desire for something more

DURHAM – When speaking about her three sons’ future, KatiThe Herald-Sun | Christine T. Nguyen

Math teacher Stacie Campbell (center) works with seventh-graders (from left) James Pratt, Jose Espinoza, Brandon Conquest and Demario Powell (cq all) during class at Durham Nativity School on Thursday, April 28, 2011

na Graham has to avert her eyes from Durham Nativity School founder Joe Moylan’s gaze. “I get so emotional thinking about his vision and his love and his personal support,” she said, blinking back tears. “Just thinking of Dr. Moylan’s heart as the visionary is just unreal.” Graham’s sons – 17-year-old Antonio Carlton, 14-year-old Amario Carlton and 11-year-old Seph Williams – all either graduated from or are now enrolled at Durham Nativity, a private middle school borne out of the vision of Moylan and his wife, Ann Carole Moylan, in 2002.

Graham and her three siblings were raised by a single father in northeast Durham. He did the best he could, she remembers, but the community wasn’t an easy one to grow up in. “I was exposed to a lot that I don’t think is healthy for children to have to be exposed to,” she said. She wanted her boys to see a brighter future, but, as a single mother years ago, she saw a lack of resources standing in their way. Then, just before Antonio was to enter middle school, she read in The Durham Skywriter about Moylan and Durham Nativity. “I read about how he’d seen, through other young men, what I’d seen, and he wanted to change it all if he could,” she said. The article noted that, like Graham, Moylan also saw a lack of resources as being the biggest obstacle to low-income students succeeding. She knew Durham Nativity was right for Antonio, and the two underwent the school’s intensive application process – a process that aims to gauge students’ initiative to learn, their willingness to work and parents’ dedication to supporting their children.

Antonio was accepted, and he thrived in the unique school setting. When the time came for his younger brothers to attend middle school, they also applied and were accepted. “Durham Nativity is such a special place,” Graham said. “It’s a very positive environment, a very loving environment, a very nurturing environment. … Durham Nativity supports them in their dreams. Whatever they believe, they can achieve.” Moylan and Richard Burton, the school’s director of development, describe Graham as a strong, supportive mother. Even so, Graham says, her sons’ lives would have been dramatically different without the school. They would have a narrow perspective on life, she worries. They would have been limited in thinking. They would have been OK – but they would have been average. Instead, they’re anything but. Antonio, who started out at Durham Nativity as a C student, is now making all A’s and B’s at Fork Union Military Academy in Virginia. Amario is attending the prestigious Asheville School, and Seph, a sixth-grader, has just begun his Durham Nativity journey. BODY COPY SUBHED: Homegrown leaders The goal of Durham Nativity, part of the NativityMiguel Network of Schools, is to create young men strong in academics and character who will one day serve as Bull City leaders. “The thought is if you prepare these children well, teach them to be good students, to be involved in the community, you’ll develop a strong moral background,” Moylan said, noting that each student does half a day of community service each week. The Nativity staff takes an individualized approach to education, setting a different standard for each child based on what they see as his potential. “We can push each of our children to reach their maximum, which I think other school settings can’t do because of their size and homogenous standard,” he said. Most days, the school is in session from 7:45 a.m. to 6 p.m., and learning activities are planned throughout each summer. Dozens of volunteers – individuals and representatives of churches, colleges, businesses and other organizations – spend hours each week tutoring students. “Almost every child, regardless of their academic ability, will be tutored by somebody,” Moylan said. “It pushes them, wherever they are on the academic scale, to their fullest potential.” The learning also extends beyond the classroom walls,

through social and cultural enrichment experiences. Thanks to The Herald-Sun | Christine T. Nguyen

Social Studies teacher Mike Glenn shakes hands with sixth-grader Jonathan Hernandez before class at Durham Nativity School on Thursday, April 28, 2011. Students shake hands with teachers before each class to show commitment to doing their best each day.

partnerships with organizations like the local chapter of the Carolina Hurricanes Foundation and The Links, Inc., students enjoy such thrills as hockey games and learn which fork is which in etiquette classes, Burton said. Each summer, boys head off to summer camps to experience motorboating and mountain-climbing and meet other young men from around the world. “When my children come back from these experiences and talk about the things they’ve done with other children in our community – a low- to moderate-income community – the other kids say, ‘Really? Little black boy, you really did this?’ ” Graham said. “It makes other young men think, ‘What if I had that chance?’ It makes them think outside just their local community – the world is just so big. If you work hard, study hard, these things can be available.” When the time comes to leave the North Mangum Street campus, the Durham Nativity experience continues, as the school works to match students with private high schools. Students have been placed in 17 schools in five states, from local day schools, like Durham Academy, to far-away boarding schools, like the renowned St. Andrews School in Delaware. The high private-school tuition is shouldered mostly by scholarships from those schools, while Durham Nativity typically contributes about 10 percent of the cost, and parents are asked to chip in 2 percent. Whether students attend high school nearby or states away, there’s an expectation that they’ll return to the Bull City to serve the community as leaders. “We want them to come back to Durham as the change agents,” Moylan said. “From the donor’s perspective, they are preparing people who will take care of us, our children and our grandchildren by making Durham a better place.”

SEE NATIVITY/page 28

Nativity

FROM pAGE 26

gifts froM the heArt More than 700 individuals, businesses, churches and organizations contribute to the more than $830,000 it takes to make Durham Nativity a reality. Gifts come in all sizes, Burton said, from six-figure checks to two-digit money orders. “Whether it’s $10 a year or $100,000 a year, we’re blessed by all the donations,” he said. Corporate donors, like SunTrust and Burt’s Bees, have helped enrich the Durham Nativity experience by sending students to Durham Performing Arts Center plays or purchasing tickets to the Nasher Museum of Art.

scholarship donors have a close relationship with the child they’re supporting, regularly taking them out to lunch and keeping up to date via letters, Moylan said. Graham has a name for members of the Durham Nativity family – the faculty and staff, volunteers and donors – “life-changers.” “And what they’ll get back in return is another life-changer,” Moylan said. “There’s a circle there.”

“From the donors to the volunteers, these young men know that they are loved and are fully supported in anything they set their minds toward,” Graham said. “They know that the community loves them.”

Graham can’t say enough about those “lifechangers” who have brightened her sons’ futures.

Nearly 35 people, called scholarship donors, are committed to funding an individual student’s Durham Nativity costs – about $17,500 a year – for the full three years of their time there. Many

“I just want to thank them,” she said. “They know who they are.”

Calling all

‘lifechangers’ For information on how to give your time or resources to the Durham Nativity School, visit http://www. durhamnativity.org. Donations can be sent via mail to: Durham Nativity School, P.O. Box 3537, Durham, NC 27702.

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Most

MEMORABLE GIFT

‘I could only

sob’

BY ApRIL pERRY

The Herald-Sun | Elizabeth Ladzinski

April Perry, local nurse and Luke’s mission founder, returned from an emergency medical mission to Haiti late Thursday night. She tells her story, Friday, January 29, 2010.

This trip to Haiti had been troubled from Sept.11, 2001, onward. It had been scheduled for October 2001. Because of concerns for personal safety after the recent terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, a number of people had decided not to go. The trip nearly didn’t happen because of generalized concern of the remaining team members.

He handed me the bag and said, “This is for you.” I assumed the bag contained more things for me to pack up. I took the bag and held it on my lap while I finished writing my final notes.

But those of us who were willing did board the plane on Oct. 6 and took off for Port au Prince. I know I wasn’t the only one who left loved ones in tears, concerned for our safety.

Inside the bag was a beautiful, hand-carved, mahogany box — the kind that are frequently seen on the sides of most Haitian roads where there are street vendors and in the local markets.

Because of the lack of personnel, the clinic had not functioned as it normally would. Fewer providers were available to see patients and less support people were there to assist.

The contents of the bag were not medications or supplies that needed to be packed. What this bag contained was a precious gift from my friend to me.

But we did what we could with the resources we had. Ultimately, we did quite a bit, much more than would have occurred had we not come.

I can only imagine what my face must have looked like when I realized I had just been the recipient of such a gift.

On the last day of clinic, we were packing up readying to leave at noon to do some sightseeing and shopping before returning to the United States the next morning. I was sitting in my room tying up some final paperwork, when Romel entered my room and sat down on the bench beside my chair. Romel served as my translator on my first trip to Haiti. We became fast friends thanks to email. We had not gotten to see each other as much during this week as we both had hoped. But we did spend time together each day at lunch and before returning to the guesthouse in the evening. I noticed then that Romel had closed the door as he entered. As I turned to him, I also noticed he carried a white plastic grocery bag in his hand.

When I looked over at Romel a minute or so later, he sat there waiting patiently for me to look in the bag. As I opened it and felt the contents quite heavy, I wondered what this was.

I turned to him and said the only thing I could think to say immediately, “Romel, I don’t want you spending your money on gifts for me.” His response is one I will never forget. He said, “But … you must accept it.” All I could do to express the myriad intense feelings I was experiencing was to weep openly. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I could only sob with my head in my hands, while I felt Romel’s hand on my shoulder. When I finally composed myself, I hugged Romel and thanked him for the lovely gift. I then assured him that, of course, I would accept it. SEE SOB/pAGE 32

Sob

FROM page 31

We were in the final minutes of preparing to leave and I knew I had to complete my work. But at that point in time, nothing was as important to me as this moment. No schedule, no time frame, no packing duties. The Lord quietly spoke to me and said, “This moment is my gift to you. Take from it all you can.” I was determined to get every little grain of sand out of this moment. I would realize later that this moment was one that would literally change my life. I tried quite inadequately, I’m afraid, to thank Romel for the lovely gift. I couldn’t tell him this at that time, but I would write to him later that it is the most precious gift I have ever received, one I would cherish forever. I am not sure he really understood the intensity of my feelings about this precious gift. It would take me the rest of the day to sort through what the Lord was trying to tell me. As we prepared to say goodbye, I asked Romel if I could pray with him before leaving. Our hands found each other and we bowed our heads in prayer. I felt the Holy Spirit in the room with us. The goodbyes were very difficult and my tears were still flowing. But it was in the tap-tap (a Haitian version of a taxi), driving up the mountain road, that I realized why this gift had elicited such powerful feelings. I had come to know Romel well over the last six months, I knew what his life was like. I knew that he did not “manje chak jou” — eat every day. I knew that he lived in a house with two rooms and 10 siblings, with no plumbing, electricity, toilets, running water and little to no food. I knew he had made $12 each day he had translated for us. He would probably spend the money he earned this week paying for schooling for his younger brother and sister.

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I knew he didn’t know when the next time would be that he would be able to earn some money. I knew he was very anemic and did not have the resources to eat what was needed to remedy that situation. But most of all, I knew he had used money that would buy food for him and his family to purchase this gift for me. It was this revelation that pierced through my heart that morning. He had sacrificed for me. There have been times when I did without some things so that I could have others. Sacrifice has been a concept I understand, appreciate and would do (I hope), should it become necessary, but not one I can really say I have experienced. Sitting there in front of me that Friday morning, in the poorest slum in the Western Hemisphere, was a friend who had sacrificed something very dear for me — food for his stomach. Romel had not given up something easy like a new pair of shoes for a special event, or a trip that one wants to take. No, he had given up food for his hungry stomach to buy me this gift. I knew what God was telling me through this humble servant of his. It was so clear that, as we rode through the dusty streets of Port au Prince, I felt like our Lord and Savior was sitting right there beside me in the tap-tap. It was as if he was saying to me, “Yes, my servant and beloved child Romel loves you so much that he willingly gave up food to buy you this lovely gift. And you value his love for you a great deal because of that. But I love you so much more than Romel does. I love you so much I gave up my life so you would come to love me as much as I love you. I love you this much, April.” The sacrifice Romel made to purchase the gift for me was as close as I was going to come in this temporal world we live in to seeing with my own eyes just how costly the sacrifice was that God made in giving us the gift of His son. Romel’s gift to me, the beautiful box, is displayed in a prominent place in my home, a place where I see it many times each day and think of him. I keep my things I take on each trip to Haiti in it. When we have friends over, I bring it down to where we are gathered so that others can see it also. Romel wrote me later that he did not realize I would “appreciate my gift so much.” No, I doubt I will ever be able to tell him just what his gift meant to me or how my life was changed forever on that hot Friday afternoon, in a slum of Port au Prince, Haiti. April Perry, a nurse at Duke University Medical Center, is the founder and head of Luke’s Mission, a nonprofit that helps run medical missions and orphanages in Haiti.

Every Single Day

2828 Pickett Rd. • Durham, NC 27705 • 919-419-6500 • www.heraldsun.com

The Herald-Sun | Bernard Thomas

GAMES

Steve Butts, editor of The Escapist, an online publication about video game and internet culture, in the American Tobacco Underground,Tuesday, November 01, 2011.

BY LAURA OLENIACZ | loleniacz@heraldsun.com

durhAM – Video games developed by companies with a presence in the Triangle were among the mentions by the editor of a Durham-based game magazine of high profile games released this year. Editor-in-Chief Steve Butts of The Escapist, a Durhambased web magazine about video games and Internet culture, highlighted a few noteworthy new games, and also warned that several of them are for a mature audience, sometimes with violence or foul language. “You couldn’t go wrong if you played any of these games or gave them as a gift,” Butts said. The magazine is based in the American Underground, a hub for entrepreneurs at Durham’s downtown American Tobacco campus that houses a collection of start-up companies. One of the tenants is Joystick Labs, an accelerator program that focuses specifically on video game developers.

In the game, the player takes on the role of a “hypermacho” Marine soldier to battle an alien invasion in a science-fiction world. “Everybody expected a lot out of this title, it’s the final part of a trilogy, and every version of this game prior to this has done staggeringly well,” Butts said. A “hugely popular game” created for the Sony PlayStation 3 by Insomniac Games, a California company with offices in Durham, is “Resistance 3.” The game also has an alien-invasion theme with a shooter element, Butts said, and got positive reviews from industry critics. Also on the list of high profile games is “Batman: Arkham City,” a sequel to the game of the year in 2009 developed by Rocksteady Studios and published by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment.

One of his mentions was “Gears of War 3,” a game for Microsoft’s Xbox 360 released in September by Cary-based developer Epic Games.

Butts said that he gave the game, in which Batman takes on super villains escaped from prison, a 4.5 rating out of 5.

The action game is the final game in a trilogy, and Butts said saw a “tremendously successful launch.”

Another game to note, according to Butts, is “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim,” the fifth in a series of popular role-playing games set in a fantasy world. The game is developed and published by Bethesda Game Studios.

According to an announcement by Epic and Microsoft, there were more than three million copies of the game solid in its first week. “The fact that it happens to be close to where we live is completely incidental to (my) recommendation to it or the fact that (we) take great notice of it,” Butts said..

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He also recommended “Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception,” by Naughty Dog, an adventure game with a romanticized hero that’s set in realistic world. And finally, he mentioned “The Legend of Zelda” Skyword Sword” published and developed by Nintendo for the Nintendo Wii video game console. He said one of the “big things” about the game is that the player uses the Wii to control a virtual sword. “There’s a real physical level of involvement,” he said. “You have to get off the couch, you have to move your arms, and you have to physically take on the actions of the character in your own living room, which is really neat, and a cool place for the industry to go.” Butts said in some games, the depth of commitment required to enjoy the games can be surprising but he said he believes that shouldn’t be an obstacle for a consumer using any of the games as an entry point into the medium.

Most

MEMORABLE GIFT

‘Grateful

every day’

I have received many valuable gifts throughout my life, including good health; an education; a positive, creative and adventurous spirit; friendship; and the joy of seeing my students learn and accomplish goals. The gifts I would call the most memorable, though, are the ones I am conscious of and grateful for every day: my son, Noah, and my companion, Norris. They bring me insights about living and loving fully, encouraging others to fulfill their potential, celebrating small achievements, giving back to community, being attentive to the people and world around me, and keeping life’s challenges in proper perspective. Their presence trumps any other presents.

BY TRACY MANCINI

Tracy Mancini is an assistant dean at Durham Technical Community College.

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9198

Casserole Ministry Giving to the hungry year-round BY KEITH UpCHURCH kupchurch@heraldsun.com

Bonnie Griffin began the Watts Street Baptist Church casserole ministry in January 2010. Griffin supplies aluminum trays to church members, who then make and freeze casseroles that Griffin delivers to the Urban Ministries. Photographed on Tuesday, October 18, 2011.

The Herald-Sun | Christine T. Nguyen

durhAM – When Bonnie Griffin joined Watts Street Baptist Church about two years ago, she knew something was missing.

“When I arrive, they all hug me, and they’re all glad to see me coming with the casseroles,” she said.

There was no casserole ministry to help feed the hungry at Urban Ministries in Durham, and she wanted to change that.

Each casserole serves eight people, and about 200 people go to Urban Ministries daily for a meal. “So if we get 30 casseroles, we have served a meal,” she said.

She did. With a heart full of compassion and persistence, she enlisted the help of the church to do the rewiring needed to accommodate a large freezer that could hold 30 frozen casseroles. Then, a church member donated a freezer, and the casserole ministry was cooking. “It just all happened,” she said. “It was like a miracle that it all happened. And prayer had a lot to do with it, too.”

“

It was like a miracle that it all happened.

When Bonnie saw the church freezer for the first time, “I did a little dance around it,” she said, “and I knew nothing could stop us then.” Now, Bonnie and other church members make 30 casseroles a month. They’re stored in the church freezer, then taken to Urban Ministries downtown to the delight of those who need a good meal.

”

“They love it when we come. They need it. If all the churches would do that, they’d never worry about how they’re going to get another meal.” Bonnie started the casserole ministry at Watts Street Baptist Church in January 2010, but had made casseroles for Urban Ministries for 15 years before that when she belonged to another church in Durham.

She gets her recipes from magazines and from other church members, who have been enthusiastic about the ministry from the start. “They are the most loving and compassionate people, and they make these casseroles with such love,” she said. “When I open that freezer and see it full of casseroles, I always catch myself smiling.”

“It really is a wonderful church.”

hoW to give: To donate a casserole to Urban Ministries of Durham, call Lee Nelson at 682-0538, ext. 126, or Faye Morin at 682-0538, ext. 125. 36

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Durham Literacy Center Announces $1.4 Million Campaign

Preparing for the GED

Chris Williams, learned to read at age 55

Literacy Impacts Everyone Help Build a Stronger Durham On October 20, 2011 the Durham Literacy Center announced the public launch of a bold campaign with a goal of raising $1.4 million for a centrally located literacy facility that will bolster the quality of life for the 25,000 Durham Adults who are functionally illiterate. The 10,000 square foot building will include one-to-one tutor rooms, classrooms, computer labs and offices. Adding the new facility will allow a 50 percent increase in student enrollment, implement needed technological upgrades, establish a curriculum more tailored to

job skills and employment, and provide childcare facilities so parents can focus on learning. The DLC literacy programs will be expanded to include financial literacy, health literacy and computer skills while providing disadvantaged individuals a sense of hope, belonging and the opportunity to grow, succeed, and build a better life.

For information, call 919/489 8383 or visit www.durhamliteracy.org

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MEMORABLE GIFT

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‘works so hard’ BY WANDA MAGGART

When I was a young girl, one Christmas I asked for the Pillsbury Dough Boy. You know, that cute little fella that is always having his tummy poked on the baking commercials. My mother looked very hard for that gift. He was exactly the right diminutive size, with a smile on his face. One problem, however.

Submitted

Wanda Maggart -- Durham Tech

I recall the gift so fondly because I know she worked so hard to find that little Pillsbury Dough Boy (many decades before Internet searches). I also always knew she would have breathed life into him had it been within her power! Wanda Maggart is senior vice president for institutional advancement at Durham Technical Community College.

I had really been asking for one that was living, breathing and giggling — like on television! It took my older sister (always very direct, even as a child) explaining to me that the Dough Boy was a cartoon and not real. Years later when my mother was sick and lived with me, I finally told her what I had really been asking for that Christmas. We had a good laugh over it.

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