Out Magazine, January-February

OMAR APOLLO J INKX MONSOON C ATE BLANCHETT JO NATHAN BENNETT

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side e ects, including:  Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.

ABOUT BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements.

BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS.

Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains:  dofetilide  rifampin

 any other medicines to treat HIV-1

BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY

Tell your healthcare provider if you:

 Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.  Have any other health problems.

 Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY.

 Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take:

 Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-thecounter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

 BIKTARVY and other medicines may a ect each other. Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side e ects, including:  Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section.

 Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY.



Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY.

 Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.



Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.

 The most common side e ects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%). These are not all the possible side e ects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.

HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY

Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.

GET MORE INFORMATION



This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.  Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5  If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, and KEEP ASPIRING are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. Version date: February 2021 © 2022 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0008 01/22

COVER STORY

46 MEN LEADING

We watched Jim Parsons and Ben Aldridge fall in love on screen in one of the best romantic films of 2022, Spoiler Alert. Now the friends discuss what's next for them, and whether we can ever truly conquer homophobia in Hollywood.

TV 14 THEY TRAVEL TV's "Gay King of Christmas" Jonathan Bennett and his husband service queer travelers.

THEATER

20 DRAG'S BEEN GOOD TO MAMA Drag Race champion Jinkx Monsoon makes her Broadway debut.

FILM

24 THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE GAY Cate Blanchett's Tár role is postmodern queer villiany.

MUSIC

40 AGE OF APOLLO Queer Mexican-American musician Omar Apollo is the moment.

PHOTOGRAPHY

62 A SPACE FOR LOVE Ryan Pfluger's new photobook celebrates queer ecstasy.

FASHION

68 GET COATED

Three NYC creatives share their tips on looking (and being) cool while staying warm.

CAMILLA and LINNEA in Holding Space RYAN PFLUGER Photographer

Not Many LGBTQ+ Organizations have reached 50...but you have the chance to dance when Stonewall National Museum and Archives celebrates its 50th anniversary.

The largest collection of LGBTQ+ books in the world, one of the largest archives, and exhibitions that stop traffic and remind people that our history is American history.

With us, HISTORY=PRIDE so come visit sunny Fort Lauderdale and make a weekend of it!

Join us and celebrate the 50th anniversary of Stonewall National Museum, Archives, and Library. We are the only national LGBTQ+ nonprofit headquartered in Florida and that means a great deal as our community faces so many obstacles.

Our library and archives are essential to the LGBTQ+ community as we challenge book bans, support educators, stand up for trans lives and champion healthcare for all members of our community.

As we celebrate our 50 years of contributions we will honor Margaret Mary Wilson, MD and Zander Moricz who have established a new bar in commitment to a better world.

Margaret Mary Wilson, MD is Executive Vice President and Chief Medical Officer at UnitedHealth Group. Dr. Wilson will be in attendance with her wife and speak about healthcare as it pertains to all members of our community. Dr. Wilson is a glass-ceiling breaker and was instrumental in securing UnitedHealth’s $100 million investment in diversity initiatives.

Zander Moricz, a Florida native is the youngest plaintiff in the lawsuit challenging “Don’t Say Gay”. Zander gained fame for his high school commencement speech where, barred from saying gay, he referenced his curly hair as a metaphor. Now a freshman at Harvard University, he runs an organization that has registered thousands of young people to vote.

https://stonewall-museum.org/50-anniversary-gala/

https://stonewall-museum.org/50-anniversary-gala/

on February 25, 2023!

Jonah and Xavier in MARCELO BURLON COUNTY OF MILAN Overalls, Jacket, and Jeans BERNHARD WILHELM Necklaces from KASURI NY

SANTIAGO BISSO Photographer

Unlimited potential. Ultimate problem solvers. Ultimate potential.

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Make sure your company’s diversity, equity and access efforts include disability. Bring authentic disability representation into your branding, communications and culture at large. Embrace disability as the “D” in diversity.

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ON THE COVER

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT

BEN ALDRIDGE in TODD SNYDER Short Sleeved Novelty Shirt and Relaxed Herringbone Wythe Suit Pant BOGLIOLI Electric Blue Wool and Cashmere Cable Knit Crewneck Sweater SCHOTT NYC Cowhide Hip Length Car Coat GUCCI Mirrored G Loafer ANDERSON Woven Leather Belt LONDON SOCK COMPANY Socks

JIM PARSONS in BOGLIOLI Turtleneck Ribbed Jumper PERCIVAL Mohair Crew Neck Sweater CANALI Ring Belt and Button Pants TOD’S Leather Loafers LONDON SOCK COMPANY Socks

photographed by DAVID URBANKE

January/February 2023. Volume 31 number 4. Out (ISSN 1062-7928) is published six times a year by equalpride, P.O. Box 241579, Los Angeles, CA 90024. Telephone: (310) 806-4288. Entire contents © 2023 Equal Entertainment LLC. All rights reserved. Reproductions in whole or in part without express permission of the publisher are strictly prohibited. Periodicals postage paid at Los Angeles, CA, and at additional mailing offices. Subscription rate: $19.95 per year. Annual subscription rate outside the U.S.: $54, payable in U.S. currency only. Postmaster: Send changes of address to equalpride, P.O. Box 8419 Lowell, MA 01853. Out is distributed to newsstands by Comag Marketing Group. Printed in the United States of America.

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It’s TimeStory

In a tender scene from Spoiler Alert, the gay romantic drama featuring our cover stars Jim Parsons and Ben Aldridge, Aldridge’s character Kit blows soap bubbles into the wind, and then attempts to photograph them with his camera. His husband Michael, played by Parsons, records the act on his phone. It’s a heartbreaking moment because Kit is dying of cancer. There in front of him shimmers his life, as ephemeral as a bubble.

Spoiler Alert is based on a memoir by journalist Michael Ausiello, and this exchange actually happened between himself and his lost partner; the recording is even played during the film’s end credits. The conclusion is, of course, heartbreaking. But in some ways, it’s also a happy one. Through the power of moviemaking and storytelling, Kit’s life and love endures.

Apart from Spoiler Alert, I was struck by how many films from this Hollywood awards season centered not just on LGBTQ+ characters but also their relationships. Bros is a new romcom classic of boy meets boy. Tár shows how a #MeToo incident unravels a lesbian conductor’s career and marriage. Everything Everywhere All at Once fantastically explores how a rift between a mother and daughter is exposed through the latter’s new girlfriend. The Whale is a tale born in the wake of mourning for a lost partner.

What a time to be queer and see oneself reflected on the big screen! And as GLAAD would say, LGBTQ+ representation matters, not only for the validity of feeling seen but because it has the power to move the hearts and minds of others toward acceptance. (Tár might be an exception to that rule, but as contributor Tracy E. Gilchrist notes in her essay on page 24, the film’s queer villain represents an equality of venality and a delicious human complexity.) Let’s face it, after 2022 — which showed a renewed right-wing attack on LGBTQ+ people and drag story hour, as well as the horrific shooting at Club Q — we can use all the heart we can get. The old monsters of bigotry, once thought vanquished, have returned. How can we defeat them?

Our stories can. As Parsons and Aldridge discuss in our cover story on page 46, telling one beautiful tale of queer love can change the world. It also sparks compounding interest by inspiring others to do the same. This is the Entertainment Issue, and in these pages, we are fortunate to feature many other storytellers creating these sparks. Omar Apollo, an out R&B singer up for Best New Artist at the Grammys, sings about love in both English and Spanish — and he has no time for gaybaiters (page 40). Actor Jonathan Bennett is bringing

(page 14).

On Broadway, Jinkx Monsoon, Drag Race ’s Queen of All Queens, is taking the Chicago stage and showing that drag won’t be silenced in the face of political vitriol (page 20). Multihyphenates Kit Williamson and John Halbach journey out to the desert to make a TV show about a rainbow family and end up moving their own family there to renovate a home (page 42). Photographer Ryan Pfluger is letting love guide his lens in Holding Space, a new book of portraiture of interracial LGBTQ+ couples that allows the subjects to tell their own stories (page 62). Dior Men is blurring gender in fashion against the jaw-dropping backdrop of the Pyramids of Giza (page 28). To defy looking ancient, beauty editor Marco Medrano recommends a retinue of retinol products (page 34). And the queer cool kids of NYC explain how friendship — and the right outerwear — can help you survive the cold city (page 68).

Like the pyramids, our stories endure — no matter how many times throughout the ages foes have tried to destroy, erase, and silence them. You’re reading them right now. You’re listening to them on the radio. You’re watching them in your living room and at the movie theater. They are as loud as a revolution. And they are also as quiet and as vital as a bubble drifting toward the sky.

The monsters? They don’t stand a chance.

Sincerely,

Daniel Reynolds Editor in Chief

gay people to the table at holiday movies. He’s also opening the world to queer folks through a new travel company with his husband

A NOTE FROM OUR CEO

Hi there! As CEO of equalpride and publisher of Out, The Advocate, Out Traveler, and Plus, and producer of The Advocate Channel, I wanted to acknowledge the whirlwind the past few months have been for our community. We’ve had dramatic highs, like the election of hundreds of LGBTQ+ politicians and the freeing of Brittney Griner. We’ve also had horrific lows, like the massacre at Club Q in Colorado Springs. Not long after that tragedy, Michael Kelley — equalpride’s chairman (pictured above, right) — and I were lucky enough to be in Washington, D.C., to commiserate and celebrate 2022. There, we witnessed President Biden sign the Respect for Marriage Act, a monumental law that will protect us from rightwing incursions on our relationships. It’s been a dramatic and thrilling

year for our company as well, as it thankfully returned to LGBTQ+ ownership. Following COVID’s peak, we have also been able to return to hosting live events with November’s Out100 celebration in New York, as well as a joyous luncheon for The Advocate’s People of the Year honorees, held in December in Los Angeles. Thank you for being a loyal reader of our publications and websites as we continue to cover our community’s march to equality. I welcome feedback and ideas, so please feel free to reach out at advocatemarkb@equalpride.com and through Instagram @advocatemarkb.

Warmest Regards, Mark Berryhill Chief

Executive Officer

DAVID GEORGE ZIMMERMAN

COURTESY MARK BERRYHILL

The glitterati gathered at

this past November to celebrate the 2022 Out100 — Out magazine’s oldest and grandest tradition, which brought together the year’s most impactful and influential LGBTQ+ people. Out orchestrates the Out100 to showcase the artists, creatives, policymakers, gamechangers, and heroes making the world a better place. And to celebrate, many honorees and friends attended the annual event. One of the evening’s most stunningly dressed honorees was queer poet Aurielle Marie, who arrived in a gown

at the

made an appearance included trans Jeopardy! champ Amy Schneider; Yellowjackets and Scream 6 star Jasmin Savoy Brown; dancer, body-positive influencer, model, and host of CBS’s Come Dance With Me, Dexter Mayfield; and the Old Gays, four TikTok stars bringing visibility to queer seniors. We’re thrilled to share some of the best moments captured at these events.

Other Out100

New York’s Nebula nightclub

gifted to her for the event by Grammy-winning bisexual singer Lizzo — the same dress the star wore

2019 American Music Awards!

honorees who

COURTESY OF YEKA GYADU

equalpride staff (standing from left) Erin Manley, Christopher Go, Mark Berryhill, Neal Broverman, Raine Bascos, Stuart Brockington, Mark Isom; (kneeling from left) Ricky Cornish, Michael Lombardo, Michael Kelley

COURTESY OF YEKA GYADU

Out editor in chief DANIEL REYNOLDs (left) with partner RAN AUBREY FRAZIER

Minneapolis City Council President ANDREA JENKINS and Mass. State Senator JULIAN CYR

Poet AURIELLE MARIE in a dress previously owned by Lizzo

Fashion designer JACQUES AGBOBLY (left) and guest

THE BOULET BROTHERS

COURTESY OF YEKA GYADU

Jeopardy! champ AMY SCHNEIDER with equalpride CEO MARK BERRYHILL

Revelers included Drag Race’s TINA BURNER , SNL star BOWEN YANG (center, white shirt), actor and Out100 honoree JASON STUART (behind Yang), and comedian and Out100 honoree MATT ROGERS (far right)

Activist, model, and TV host DEXTER MAYFIELD

ADAM POWELL and Out100 honoree ERIC CERVINI

by BERNARDO SIM

s lay bells ring

THE “GAY KING OF CHRISTMAS” IS SWAPPING SANTA FOR A SPEEDO IN A NEW LGBTQ+ TRAVEL COMPANY

Between appearing in the Christmas House films and leading his very own holiday movie on the Hallmark Channel, The Holiday Sitter, actor Jonathan Bennett can certainly be considered the reigning “Gay King of Christmas” on TV. Though The Holiday Sitter is the Hallmark Channel’s first LGBTQ-led holiday movie, the channel has been making huge strides in inclusivity and diversity over the years.

“It feels like such an honor to kind of forge this movement in the holiday movie space. And the reason I’m doing it is because I think it’s so important that everyone knows that Christmas is for everybody, you know?” Bennett highlights. “The Hallmark Channel is for everyone; The Holiday Sitter is for everybody. So to be a part of this movement that is making sure that the people watching these amazing Christmas

movies feel like they’re represented on-screen… is so important.”

Particularly in recent times, conservative forces have been pushing back against LGBTQ+ inclusion in holiday-themed projects. Most notably, Candace Cameron Bure made it clear that the films she’d star in and produce for the Great American Family channel would not include queer characters or love stories.

Thankfully, though, Bennett isn’t focusing on that exclusionary rhetoric. The actor notes, “I can’t speak to what other networks are doing because I only can speak to what we are doing at Hallmark Channel. I can say that I’m proud to be part of a network like the Hallmark Channel that puts inclusivity at the forefront. Hallmark Channel has created a safe space for me as a queer filmmaker to tell stories, and there’s no better place than that when you are a queer artist in the industry telling stories.”

Alas, Bennett’s acting career and personal life weren’t always allowed to coexist. “I’ve been gay my whole life, but when I was a young actor and it was a different time in Hollywood, I was told by the majority of people that I had to stay in the closet and not let anyone know that I was gay,” he says. “Because if they find out that I was gay,

“TO GO FROM BEING A SCARED ACTOR LIVING IN THE CLOSET TO LIVING OUT AND PROUD, BEING ‘THE FACE OF GAY CHRISTMAS,’ IT’S A REALLY FUN JOURNEY.”

Jonathan

(right) and Jaymes (left) both wearing VERSACE robes and their own swim trunks

Jonathan Bennett and his husband Jaymes Vaughan graced the latest cover of Out Traveler, Out’s sister publication.

I wouldn’t book roles and I wouldn’t be considered for leading men. And since I looked the way that I looked, I had to play leading men characters.”

But a revelation dawned on Bennett as times changed and he started to open up about being a gay man: “There came a point in my life where I said, ‘I want to live my life out loud and proud because I want to make a difference for the young versions of myself that are watching movies and TV shows. I want them to see a person that is living their life authentically and boldly to hopefully inspire them to do the same.’”

Looking back today, the actor doesn’t believe all the hiding he was told to do was worthwhile. “After years of living in the closet in the industry, it’s not worth it. It’s just not. Like, the amount of stress and ulcers…. I developed stomach ulcers from it. It’s just not worth the stress. So to go from being a scared actor living in the closet to living out and proud, being ‘the face of gay Christmas,’ it’s a really fun journey. When I came out, I actually started working more. I started booking more jobs and my career flourished. I think it’s because people see you living authentically and they gravitate towards that energy, because it’s a beautiful energy to be around.”

Although it’s been nearly two decades since Bennett became a household name for playing the teen heartthrob Aaron Samuels in the 2004 comedy Mean Girls, he’s very aware of the impact of that character in his career and grateful for the doors it opened. “I look back at Aaron Samuels with jealousy of collagen in his face,” the 41-year-old jokes. “But in all honesty, I am the biggest Aaron Samuels fan

Jaymes (left) KLEIN EPSTEIN & PARKER blue three-piece suit and button down shirt; COMMON PROJECTS shoes

Jonathan (right) KLEIN EPSTEIN & PARKER pink blazer, pants, and shoes; ALL SAINTS T-shirt

because he changed my life. Aaron Samuels gave me pretty much every single part of my professional life. I owe my whole career to Tina Fey, Lorne Michaels, Mark Waters, and Lindsay Lohan.”

Besides his trailblazing work in acting, Bennett is also running OUTbound Travel with his husband and business partner, Jaymes Vaughan. The couple and their venture are profiled in the latest cover story of Out ’s sister publication Out Traveler, and a sampling of that photography is previewed here. In 2023, the gay travel company has planned trips to places like France and Amsterdam, and even an African safari itinerary.

Though there are countless options in the tourism space, Bennett firmly believes in the joy of being surrounded by other LGBTQ+ individuals while experiencing new destinations. “I mean, to be in Amsterdam surrounded by your queer OUTbound family and to see the Pride parade float down the canals, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” he gushes. “It was such a huge hit and people had such a great time last year that we’re doing it again in 2023. There are so many trips for people to check out at imoutbound.com and come out with us. Come see the world with us; come check off your bucket list with your queer family. It’s so much fun.”

by Bernardo Sim photographer José Alberto Guzmán Colón

JOSÉ ALBERTO GUZMÁN COLÓN

Two-time RuPaul’s Drag Race winner, actor, singer, comedian, and Out100 honoree Jinkx Monsoon is the definition of “booked and busy.” Between conquering season 7 of All Stars, traveling the world with her holiday tour alongside BenDeLaCreme, and launching the new comedy series Sketchy Queens on WOW Presents Plus, Monsoon is making her Broadway debut by taking on the role of Matron “Mama” Morton in Chicago.

“I’m through-the-roof excited. I’ve been singing songs from Chicago since I began drag,” Monsoon explains. “‘All That Jazz’ used to be my go-to number. I’ve sung ‘When You’re Good to Mama’ I don’t know how many times. Michelle [Visage] and I were on tour some years back and we sang ‘Class,’ which is another Mama Morton song from the show. But how it came about was really traditional. I was in New York for something that I was filming. My agent reached out and said that the production of Chicago on Broadway was interested in having me audition for Matron ‘Mama’ Morton and Mary Sunshine. And while I love the role of Mary Sunshine, I’m 10 times more interested in auditioning for Mama Morton. So when I auditioned, all they read me for was Mama Morton.”

“I auditioned like every actor does to get a role,” she adds. “I sang the song a couple times. I took some acting notes and incorporated them into the song. I did a little scene work with a reader. It was a very traditional audition. I told them what ideas I had for the

COURTESY (TK); COURTESY TK (TK); TK ( TK)

character, what directions I would want to take it, why the show’s important to me. And I got the role…. I’ll tell you, 10 years in this industry, I’ve auditioned for countless things. I’m so used to auditioning and not getting the role. And this time, I just happened to get it.”

Monsoon isn’t new to theater. In fact, she’s spent the last decade performing in stage productions of Henry V, Rent , Spring Awakening, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and Hairspray. She was also set to embark on a national tour of the musical Xanadu in 2019, but that production fell apart before it began. Now she’ll be on Broadway, a distinction that at first felt “surreal” after years of effort.

“I am someone who constantly second-guesses everything and doubts everything and is constantly doubting my own worth and ability,” she reflects. “I don’t know if it’s where I’m at with therapy, where I’m at with self-care, or certain accomplishments under my belt…. For the first time in my life, I’m like, ‘Yeah, I worked hard for this, so of course this is where I’m at.’ Which is really hard for a highly anxious, selfcritical Virgo to even say!”

Monsoon brings a critical eye to the political world as well. Though she celebrated President Biden’s recent signing of the Respect for Marriage Act, which federally fortified protections for same-sex marriage, Monsoon also acknowledges how hard it is to feel hopeful about politics during this day and age. “I guess I’m a little nihilistic at this point, because I’m excited that there’s a president acknowledging the queer community and ‘respect’ is right in the title, so there’s a lot of things to be celebrated,” Monsoon notes. “But Roe v. Wade was overturned after 50 years of being a Supreme Court ruling. And so I’ve just lost hope in our government. That’s where I’m at.”

In the midst of a newly energized conservative pushback against LGBTQ+ people and a specific anti-drag vitriol among

right-wingers, RuPaul’s Drag Race is moving to MTV, the biggest cable network within the Paramount conglomerate. As the reigning Queen of All Queens, Monsoon believes that the art form of drag can only benefit from this larger platform.

“Any step that drag takes forward into the mainstream is a positive thing,” she declares. “Drag Race currently is doing more for the queer community than any politician or government official. Drag Race is destigmatizing the queer community. Drag Race is teaching parents to accept their kids for who they are. Drag Race is tearing down misconceptions about queer people way more than I’ve seen any government person do. So yeah, drag should keep taking over the world.”

While certain performers fear that Drag Race moving to MTV will make this art form even more “sanitized,” Monsoon feels differently. “Did we have any concerns about rock becoming so mainstream that it would lose its edge?” she muses. “I mean, this is true for every art form. It’s up to the artist. ‘Will drag, the art form, lose its edge?’ No, because there will still be underground drag artists doing underground drag. There will still be alt drag artists doing alt drag. Drag won’t lose its edge. Mainstream drag might lose its edge, but that’s part of what being in the mainstream is…becoming for more and more people.”

“If you’re a good entertainer, you’ll find a way to keep doing the drag you’ve always been doing mindfully and thoughtfully for a wide audience,” Monsoon concludes. “If people are worried about drag losing its edge, then they really need to start doing some more work. Drag becoming mainstream isn’t going to affect their work unless they choose to let it.”

See Jinkx Monsoon as Mama Morton in Chicago from January 16 to March 12 at the Ambassador Theatre on Broadway.

THE TRIUMPH AND TROUBLE OF TÁR

by TRACY E. GILCHRIST

n her first queer role since Carol, Cate Blanchett stars as Lydia Tár, a renowned, egomaniacal, and wildly charismatic conductor whose sexual predations finally ruin her. It’s the first film from director Todd Field (Little Children) in 16 years, one he says has long been in the works and that he would not have made without Blanchett. Tár is poised to nab scads of nominations, if not awards this year. But in a year of increased attacks on LGBTQ+ people, from legislation to protests at drag queen story hours, is there room for a complicated queer villain, even if she’s a towering genius playing in the arena that men built and have thrived in for centuries?

One of Tár’ s early scenes features Lydia in a highfalutin chat onstage with The New Yorker ’s Adam Gopnik about her storied rise. The far-flung topics include her role as one of classical music’s few women conductors (although she prefers her gender be left out of the discussion), her EGOT status, her mentor Leonard Bernstein, her immersive work with the Shipibo Conibo people of Peru, and the meaning of time itself.

Exiting the talk, she’s approached by a fetching young woman carrying a Birkin bag. The woman is a fan of both Tár’s work and the maestro’s endless charm. A lesbian with a wife and child back in Berlin, where she leads the city’s orchestra, Lydia sizes up the woman and praises the bag before the fawning devotee drops that she’s a Smith College alumna.

As Lydia feeds on her admirer’s interest, her assistant, Francesca (Portrait of a Lady on Fire ’s Noémie Merlant), looks on with a knowing eye roll. She’s seen this dynamic before. A character akin to the masochistic assistant in queer filmmaker Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s lesbian classic The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant , Francesca is Lydia’s mentee who’s also been that besotted admirer.

It’s a delightfully queer moment for Tár ’s lesbian antihero that offers insight into Lydia’s soft spot (and eye) for adoring followers. In a fell swoop, the scene hearkens to Alfred Hitchcock’s queerish Marnie while signaling the historically sapphic hotbed that is Smith. Field’s use of the handbag as a fetish object conjures Marnie ’s opening scene where Tippi Hedren’s Marnie is seen from behind, her identity obscured. The camera zeroes in on the yellow handbag she carries under her arm, the folds of which have been considered and deconstructed as stand-ins for labia for decades in many a queer and feminist film class at Seven Sisters schools. It’s not the only piece of Tár that evokes Hitchcock, and it’s no surprise that the bag turns up later in Lydia’s Berlin apartment. When her wife, Sharon (Nina Hoss), asks about the new bag, Lydia lies. If the Birkin is an allegory for women and sex, it’s an early symbol of her downfall.

To this point in the film, Lydia’s predations have not been fully revealed. There’s a relish in watching her toy with the obsequious donor to her foundation that elevates young women conductors. One marvels at Lydia’s 10-minute dressing down of cancel culture during a Juilliard master class, even if the point she makes to a BIPOC pangender student who eschews Bach and other problematic white male artists is awful. Part of the awe in the scene is Blanchett’s mastery of it — a highly choreographed single tracking shot that’s later chopped up and regurgitated online in a takedown video of the maestro (she hates “Maestra”).

At first, Lydia comes off as a rake, a lothario having it all. And the audience is on her side. That is until she’s revealed to be more insidious. The cracks in her veneer begin to splay. She gaslights Sharon (a virtuoso in her own right as the first violinist in the Berlin Philharmonic) about her medication and lies about how she came into the possession of said Birkin bag. She bullies a child who bullied her daughter. In an egregious moment of unfettered lust and narcissism, Lydia manipulates the entire orchestra to spotlight and later seduce a young Russian cellist, Olga (Sophie Kauer). It’s enthralling to behold as Lydia and Blanchett play the orchestra. Most damning is the revelation that she’s preyed on her young female students and spat them out when they no longer serve her. One student, Krista Taylor (Sylvia Flote), who’s eventually spurned by Lydia only to have her mentor ruin her career by failing to recommend her for a job, dies by suicide. Krista’s death leads to Lydia’s unraveling and eventual undoing.

Since the film’s release in October, Tár has divided audiences, its virtuosity notwithstanding. Blanchett’s performance has been hailed as the finest in a career that includes her acclaimed roles in Elizabeth, The Aviator, Blue Jasmine, Carol , and Manifesto. Critic Richard Brody’s dyspeptic review for The New Yorker called it a “regressive film that takes bitter aim at so-called cancel culture” while Ann Hornaday’s Washington Post review subtitles the film “a seductive deep dive into a woman’s unraveling psyche.”

Field’s film presents a deeply subjective world that has Lydia scurrying down a rabbit hole of paranoia about her transgressions when no one is watching. The viewer is left to discern if the film is, as Brody asserts, a takedown of important topics, including the #MeToo movement. Some have said the film is a lazy inversion of gender norms, with Field problematically making

his lead not only a woman who acts like a man (although he said he wrote it with Blanchett in mind). But it could also be read as a Rorschach test for viewers to mine their views of cancel culture, power, and genius.

Regarding gender, Blanchett, like Lydia, prefers that the fact she’s a woman isn’t the focal point of how she’s viewed. “I never ever think about my gender until it’s brought up to me as a defining characteristic or a door is closed in my face because of it,” Blanchett says. “And I think that Lydia, and I hazard a guess, Sharon too believes in the power of being the exception.”

But Lydia isn’t just a woman doing horrible things. She’s queer. And a predatory lesbian at that — the age-old Hollywood trope that had Barbara Stanwyck seducing pretty young things in Walk on the Wild Side and a butch prison guard tormenting a hapless young inmate in Caged . In her rarefied world, Lydia’s sexuality is secondary until it’s not, when her predations come to the surface. And Blanchett says Lydia prefers the moniker of musician/artist above all.

“I’m a musician,” says Blanchett, speaking in first person as her character. “I don’t want to self-identify via my sexuality or my gender first and foremost, in the way that men don’t necessarily have to within the traditional confines of the classical music world. It wasn’t particularly remarkable that it was a same-sex relationship. It just was what it was.”

At a time when respectably coupled queer characters have proliferated in films like Bros , Spoiler Alert , and any number of Christmas rom-coms from Lifetime to Netflix, Lydia is viewed by many as a queer villain, like those Hitchcock villains of yore — from Rebecca ’s Mrs. Danvers to Strangers on a Train ’s Bruno.

I NEVER EVER THINK ABOUT MY GENDER UNTIL IT’S BROUGHT UP TO ME AS A DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC OR A DOOR IS CLOSED IN MY FACE BECAUSE OF IT.— CATE BLANCHETT

Like those queer villains from the classical Hollywood era who were imprisoned, died, or forced to live, as Carol Aird would say, “against their grain,” Lydia pays a price, losing everything that keeps up her facade. By Tár ’s close, her world of private jets and suites at the Carlyle morphs into cab rides and a stay at her humble childhood home. Her reputation is sullied, Sharon leaves her, she loses her child, and she’s reduced to recording the soundtrack for a fan-favorite video game.

Like Field’s subjective universe, which is also partly a gothic ghost story questioning the reality of Lydia’s point of view, it’s not clear that Lydia is a villain. She may be a product, albeit a dangerous one, of her tone-deaf environment, one who loses touch with what she once loved.

“Somehow in the relationship with Nina, they’re slightly estranged from the thing that got them together in the first place, and Lydia herself is estranged from the why, and I think that’s [with] a lot of things,” Blanchett says. “You don’t have to be a musician to understand that particular experience at the moment and that we all feel slightly outside ourselves.”

Mitigating factors for Lydia’s predations and the debate over if she’s a “villain” in the truest sense aside, she’s a troubling queer character on the big screen at a time when LGBTQ+ viewers have yet to see enough positive images of themselves on-screen. Although, what the tipping point of enough queer characters is yet to be revealed. According to GLAAD’s 10th annual Studio Responsibility Index, 2021 saw a drop in representation of LGBTQ+ characters in films. Last year’s Academy Awards had Benedict Cumberbatch and Kodi-Smit McPhee nominated for roles as ethically questionable queer characters in The Power of the Dog (Penélope Cruz was nominated for playing a queer character that was mostly nonproblematic in Parallel Mothers).

Blanchett and her costar Rooney Mara were nominated for Oscars for Carol in 2016. While the film is beloved by many, a contingent of viewers read Carol — an older married socialite who actively courts a young shop girl — as a predator rather than as a survivalist. They see a queer woman in an era where everything had to be played close to the vest and other queers were few and far between.

In her memoir, In the Dream House, about an abusive queer relationship she endured, author Carmen Maria Machado touches on queer villainy. “I should be indignant about Rebecca , and Strangers on a Train , and Laura , and The Terror, and All About Eve , and every other classic and contemporary foppish, conniving, sissy, cruel, humorless, depraved, evil, insane homosexual on the large and small screen,” Machado writes. “And yet, while I recognize the problem intellectually — the system of coding the way villainy and queerness became a kind of shorthand for each other — I cannot help but love these fictional queer villains. I love them for all of their aesthetic lushness and theatrical glee, their fabulousness, their ruthlessness, their power After all, they live in a world that hates them. They’ve adapted; they’ve learned to conceal themselves. They’ve survived.”

As with Tár , there are no easy answers to whether queer viewers can or should abide another questionable LGBTQ+ character after a century of mostly villainous portrayals onscreen. But there’s also no denying their delicious appeal. Even as Lydia spirals poco a poco, she’s magnetic. As Lydia spouts to the class at Julliard, “The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring conformity.”

Sophie Kauer as Olga Metkina and Cate Blanchett as Lydia Tár in director Todd Field’s Tár, a Focus Features release.

Olivia Colman won an Oscar for her Queen Anne in 2018’s The Favourite , hardly a villain, but she was manipulative and solipsistic nonetheless.

WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN

by

DANIEL REYNOLDS MOHSEN OTHMAN

Alone figure emerges from the dunes of Giza, the dark outline of the pyramids imprinted behind him in the Egyptian night. As he crosses the landscape, each ancient edifice illuminates: first the smaller three, and then the larger tombs of the pharaohs burst into LED lights. A procession of figures follows, the line arcing around to an awed crowd of fashion luminaries as a drumbeat of electronica plays.

This was “Guided by the Stars,” Dior’s presentation of its Fall Men’s 2023 collection in December. It was a spectacle by design: the last surviving Wonder of the Ancient World, the Pyramid of Khufu, floating above a line deeply inspired by futurism. The models, swathed in flowing grays with pops of sunset fire, seem to have been transported from a Dune -esque planet. Celestial coats, reflective visors, and what appeared to be oxygen masks enhanced the sci-fi surrealism. Stars of the human variety also gazed from the assembly: Robert Pattinson, Cha Eunwoo, Daniel Kaluuya, an ageless Naomi Campbell. This visual link between past, present, and future was of course the intent from Kim Jones, Dior Men’s creative director.

“My interest in ancient Egypt is about the stars and the sky. It’s that fascination with the ancient world and the parallels with what we look at today; what we inherited from them and what we are still learning from the past,” Jones says. “In both the collection and the show there is an idea of ‘guided by the stars’ and what that can entail in many ways. It’s about how the past shapes the future or an idea of the future from the past.”

And it was a historic year for the House of Dior, which marked its 75th anniversary. The label itself had a mystic founding, which occurred when Christian Dior, a believer in astrology, tripped over his “lucky star,” an object on Paris’s Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré. He took the stumble as a sign to launch a house of haute couture, which reoriented the fashion world toward Paris after World War II and is now one of the glowing gems in LVMH’s diadem.

The genealogy of this legacy was imprinted in the Fall Men’s collection. A wool demi-kilt traces its ancestry to a ’50s dress dubbed Bonne Fortune, a clear example that the “traditional” lines between gender in fashion are blurring. But rather than a piece that seems à la mode, however, the backdrop of ancient Egypt recalls that in the vast history of human events, men too wore dresses.

To wit, visit the nearby Egyptian Museum, where the golden accessories of King Tutankhamun gleam on display. Or the National Museum of Egyptian Civilization, which shows the kohl eye makeup tools employed by men and women alike. Each further underscores that it is the modern-day sartorial division between the sexes that is the aberration. Not to be upstaged by the pharaohs, the Dior male models were treated to their own “luminous” makeup routine from the brand’s Capture Totale skincare line, reports Dior Makeup’s creative and image director, Peter Philips. Their eyebrows were “disciplined” with the Diorshow On Set Brow gel, and in some cases, bleached.

Beyond the clouding of gender, the earliest depictions of same-sex love can also be traced to ancient Egypt. Notably, two hieroglyphic illustrations of Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum, royal manicurists from the 25th century B.C., show the pair embracing and touching noses, an act akin to a romantic kiss. (Viewers of Bros will remember this couple, as Billy Eichner’s character Bobby, the founder of an LGBTQ+ history museum, cites them as a prime example of queer love’s immortality.)

Being queer in Egypt today is much more complicated. LGBTQ+ Egyptians face societal stigma and legal threats from morality laws, which could result in deportation or imprisonment. This has made Dior’s staging of the show in Giza a point of contention among some LGBTQ+ critics. Is it tone-deaf for a (very) queerinclusive company to showcase a genderdefying collection there? A veiled act of protest? Whatever the intent, Egypt must reckon with the cultural impact of courting global tourism and gatherings like the recent U.N. Climate Change Conference and the Cairo International Film Festival, both held just prior to the Dior show.

Of course, humans must all reckon with the past, which as Jones noted shapes the future. The pyramids, the love of Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum, the stumble on Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré: Here we are today, mortals contemplating eternity, guided by their stars.

COURTESY OF DIOR

HENAR SHERIF AND ADEL ESSAM (TOP); ALESSANDRO GAROFALO (SCENOGRAPHY)

NAOMI CAMPBELL(DIOR SHOW); ALESSANDRO GAROFALO( DIOR FINALE)

MOHSEN OTHMAN

A new gamechanger is Shiseido’s Bio-Performance Skin Filler Serums with MolecuShift Technology to shrink hyaluronic acid molecules (going deep into your skin) and reverts them to original size (post-application) to seriously fill, plump, and restore sunken skin and lines. With red clover and chai hu extracts (day/ night duo, $295). Shiseido.com

READY FOR RETINOL

These skin care products harness the vitamin A derivative for anti-aging magic

At all retinoids’ core are vitamin A derivatives made, in order of strength, bakuchiol, retinol/esters, retinols, gran-active retinols, and retinoic acid (Retin-A; Rx and branded tretinoins), the latter giving the most potent, immediate result strong enough to melt topical lines. Planning for your skin type and reactiveness is key, as side effects can include irritation, peeling, redness, and sun sensitivity. And yes. Sunscreen. Is. A. Must.

What I love about retinols is you can gauge their effectiveness quickly. And as a treatment, they play nicely with most any skin care line — value-based and luxury. In other words, this might be where you may want to spend your money. Before retinols became the norm, I used pure Rx Retin-A under a $6 Fresh & Clear moisturizer with SPF 30. Aah…the ’80s. My point is you can start young and use most OTC retinols without looking as if you’re “under construction.” Now made with multiactives, skin-regenerating peptides, collagen boosters, and emollient buffers, retinols are no longer just for nighttime. If you’re not certain, start with three nights a week for a month before you work up to 24/7.

Whether it’s a department store, online chat, or customer service, never be afraid to ask questions regarding your protocol and when to change it up. So now we’re ready. I’ve listed a handful of ageless retinol favorites, including a few nonretinol disruptors that really changed the face of aging. And yours.

All hail the OG! Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair Serum Synchronized Multi-Recovery Complex. Born in 1982, this handful of serumsin-a-bottle is patented until 2033. With Chronolux Power Signal Technology, this scientific miracle keeps evolving ($110-$215). Perfectionist Pro Rapid Renewal Retinol Treatment is the ultimate modern complement to step up your game ($88) EsteeLauder.com

Super concentrated. Orveda perfects the “high art of self-care” with luxurious natural and bio-fermented actives that work with your skin’s chemistry. Indulgent and as results-oriented as it feels, the Holy Grail meets the “Orveda Glowy Trinity” with the Iron, Firm + Glow routine: The Healing Sap ($150), no-rinse Ironing Effect Masque ($330), and Firm Brew Botanical Cream ($410). SaksFifthAvenue.com

COURTESY (SAINT JANE BEAUTY; ESTÉE LAUDER; ORVEDA

While we can’t stop aging, we can decide how to react to the look of lines, wrinkles, and lackluster skin. At any age. Science and skin care technology — along with increased awareness of diet, exercise, and hydration — really allow us to harness control of how we appear on the outside.

Saint Jane Beauty is artisanal science. Luxury Beauty Serum Calming Treatment ($125) and Sacred Sleep Overnight Repair ($70). SaintJaneBeauty.com or Sephora.com

COSRX : a Korean value brand that packs a punch. The Retinol 0.5 Oil Super Vitamin E + Squalane ($19). The Retinol 0.1 Cream (versus 1.0) is great for low-grade beginners ($19). Great for acne and smoothing rough skin is the Niacinamide 15 Serum ($17). COSRX.com

SkinCeuticals has dominated the treatment market for more than two decades. Retinol (.3, .5, and 1.0) ($70-$92), Tripeptide-R Neck Repair ($126), and the botanical discoloration fixer Phyto + ($87). SkinCeuticals.com

Naturopathica’s targeted duo for line and overall repair: Holy Basil & Retinol Ageless Night Oil ($130) and Argan & Retinol Advanced Wrinkle Remedy Night Gel Cream ($134). For exfoliation and ultra-hydration moments, try the Facial Cleansing & Exfoliating Brush ($34) and Manuka Honey Whipped Oil ($72). Naturopathica.com

Neutrogena’s Rapid Wrinkle Repair series is an impressive value brand that delivers. Retinol Pro+ .5% Power Serum ($40), Retinol Face Serum Capsules ($35), Night Face Moisturizer With Retinol, Hyaluronic Acid ($25), and Rapid Firming Peptide Contour Lift Face Cream ($40). Neutrogena. com or CVS.com

Luzern’s oxygen-infused line takes self-care to another level! Serum Absolut Firming Collagen Booster ($215) Crème Nuit is a miraculous multifermentation (retinol+) broth crème ($325), or Emulsion 6 as a melting cleanser, mask, or glow oil ($120). LuzernLabs.com

Clinique: Smart Night Clinical MD MultiDimensional Repair Treatment Retinol ($73), Smart Clinical Repair Wrinkle Correcting Serum ($71). Clinique. com or Macys.com

Origins offers a (new!) rich, matte, stay-put vegan retinol eye cream: Plantscription Wrinkle Correction Eye Cream ($56). Origins.com

Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare is a staunch public informer on how to use skin care, including an innovative retinol and ferulic acid combo (plant leaf cells as an irritation buffer and retinol amplifier). I started with the Advanced Retinol + Ferulic series: Overnight Texture Renewal Peel pads ($5-$78), Texture Renewal Serum ($72), Overnight Wrinkle Treatment ($85), and Intense Wrinkle Cream ($75). DrDennisGross.com

Summer Fridays launch: Midnight Ritual Retinol Renewal Serum ($69) Sephora.com

Retinol forever! StriVectin wasn’t only a retail first as a prescriptionstrength alternative to Retin-A, it marked the first time I saw lines out the door waiting to purchase. Advanced Retinol Nightly MultiCorrect Serum ($99), Advanced Retinol Day to Night Duo ($218), Super-C Retinol Brighten & Correct Vitamin C Serum ($72). StriVectin.com

Writer MARCO MEDRANO is a multistatelicensed cosmetologist and beauty/ grooming expert. @mrmarcomedrano

COURTESY LUZERN; CLINIQUE; ORIGINS; SUMMER FRIDAYS; STRIVECTIN; DR. DENNIS GROSS

RISING PRICES AND INFLATION ARE SLAMMING LGBTQ+ CONSUMERS AND BUSINESSES ALIKE.

HERE’S HOW TO RIDE OUT THE STORM

by nick wolny

THE QUEER COST OF LIVING

It’s not just you: Living in America is expensive AF these days.

Inflation reached a 40-year high in 2022, squeezing some consumers to the point of discomfort and beyond. The cash crunch disproportionately impacts LGBTQ+ people, who are more likely to experience poverty, unemployment, food insecurity, and homelessness, according to research conducted by the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles. Thanks to record-breaking spikes in the cost of living, queer consumers and business owners alike are feeling the pocketbook pain.

“It’s just insane how much prices have gone up,” says Erin Vesey, chef and owner of Detroit Vesey’s, a community-centered cycling café in downtown Los Angeles. But they say the price of goods hasn’t stopped loyal customers from continuing to visit local LGBTQ+ establishments just yet. “I think people want to come in and support, and make sure queer spaces continue to exist through any kind of pitfalls in society.”

Nearly every category of spending is feeling the pressure. Flight prices alone were up 42 percent over a 12-month period. As queer people are forced to tighten their belts, efforts to make and save enough money can lead to higher stress, social isolation, or both. Some segments of the LGBTQ+ community are more at risk than others.

LGBTQ+ ELDERS ARE PARTICULARLY VULNERABLE

One-third of LGBTQ+ older adults live at or below 200 percent of the federal poverty level, says Christina DaCosta, senior director of marketing and communications at SAGE, a national organization serving queer seniors. For 2022, 200 percent of the poverty level in the United States was $27,180, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.

“Any increase in basic cost of living can dramatically impact older members of our community,” she says. “Due to a lifetime of discrimination, LGBTQ+ elders have had so many socioeconomic disadvantages compared to their

straight cis peers.” In 2020, SAGE released a free financial wellness app, SAGECents, to help LGBTQ+ elders and others shore up their financial literacy. More than half of SAGECents users have reduced their debt by at least $200, and 42 percent have improved their credit scores by 25 points or more, according to a recent press release.

“Managing inflation has been challenging,” writes one SAGECents user. “My electricity bill has increased 2.5 times what it was a year ago. I’m concerned, but I can’t walk around in the dark.”

The price increases stem from inflation but also corporate greed. The cost of electricity is up 14.1 percent in the last 12 months, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Consumer Price Index for October 2022. Yet energy companies and other corporations are announcing record profit hauls, deflecting the burdens of inflation back onto the consumer.

THE RISE OF “PINK MONEY”

Inflation threatens to stunt what is otherwise a rising tide of LGBTQ+ economic power. “Pink money” refers to the purchasing power of the queer community, and with Generation Z reporting LGBTQ+ identification in record numbers — over one in five, according to the most recent Gallup poll — this purchasing power will rise dramatically in coming years.

The LGBTQ+ community is now the fastest-growing minority segment in America with regard to purchasing power, and it’s important we learn how to manage the money we have. Financial literacy takes time to build, and can be unglamorous at times, but it’ll help you better navigate your money when times get tough.

MONEY TIPS FOR RIDING OUT THE INFLATION WAVE

When you’re struggling to make ends meet, money can be a never-ending source of stress. Here are some tips to stay the course when finances are tight.

1. RESIST “FINANCIAL NIHILISM”

Between record student loan balances and rising debt burdens, many queer people are tuning personal finance out. What’s another pair of shoes when you’re already six figures in the hole? Challenge yourself to keep an eye on your money: how to make it, save it, and spend it in a way that supports you.

2. LEAVE BUDGET SHAME AT THE DOOR

Ain’t no shame in being honest about your money game. Resist the urge to live above your means in order to maintain a social status or keep up a facade. Pick up a side hustle, invite friends over for an inexpensive movie night, or take some time to confront your spending habits and make tweaks.

3. FIND AND SUPPORT LGBTQ-FOCUSED BUSINESSES

It’s more important than ever that we spend our dollars with LGBTQ-owned businesses and the people who run them. “Supporting queer businesses is super important,” says Vesey. “I have a lot of folks not understanding why having queer spaces, spaces that center other folks, is important. Showing up, supporting them, and making sure they’re around, it’s a lifesaving thing.”

Cost-of-living spikes will persist for several more months at a minimum, and it’s important that we as queer people continue to look out for one another.

“Getting old is a privilege, especially in our community,” says DaCosta. “Preparing for your financial future is important.”

Nick Wolny is an entrepreneur, speaker, and senior editor at NextAdvisor, in partnership with Time. He focuses on the intersection of LGBTQ+ life and personal finance, and has previously contributed to Fast Company, Business Insider, and Entrepreneur Magazine. Join his newsletter at NickWolny.com.

Photo Shana Novak/Getty Images

THE YEAR OF OMAR APOLLO

a pollo’s creed

by taylor henderson

THE RISING SINGER-SONGWRITER TALKS GRAMMY NOMS AND QUEERBAITERS RODRIGO ALVAREZ

At that point, the rising Mexican-American singer hadn’t even released his first official album — although he’s had music out for years on Soundcloud and streaming services, including several mixtapes and some certified bangers among the alternative R&B crowd. But 2022 was the year Apollo found his footing in the mainstream.

During the year, Apollo released his debut album, Ivory, and performed on NPR’s Tiny Desk concert series. His song “Evergreen” went viral on TikTok and became his first song to chart on the Billboard Hot 100. He’s toured the country twice, performed at the Coachella and Austin City Limits music festivals, announced a 2023 North American tour with SZA, and been nominated for a Grammy for Best New Artist.

“I feel like I’m barely getting started, so the category fits for me,” Apollo says.

The Recording Academy announced the class of 2023 in November, and Apollo knew there was a chance he’d be nominated. It was a breakthrough moment for the singer. “I was in Atlanta when I found out I was nominated for Best New Artist,” he recalls. “My manager and a few friends barged in my hotel room with cameras trying to capture the moment. Then I had a show that night in Atlanta, [and it] felt like the whole day was a celebration.”

This year’s nominees include a historic slew of LGBTQ+ musicians, including Brandi Carlile, Lizzo, Steve Lacy, and breakthrough nonbinary and transgender representation from Sam Smith and Kim Petras, whose song “Unholy” has been ubiquitous on the radio waves. How does Apollo feel to be a part of that lineup? “Love,” he says simply.

Apollo is a man of few words, which is surprising when you hear the detail of vulnerability and heartbreak in his music. He sings as candidly about romance as he does about unrequited love and all the fear and trepidation in between, sometimes in both Spanish and English in one track. Perhaps he says everything he needs to say in his songs.

So when he does take the time to crack jokes, he catches audiences by surprise. When a cautious new fan asked if Apollo was just “another queer-baiting singer” — a reference to straight artists who woo LGBTQ+ listeners with coy suggestions and thirst traps — his response went viral. “No i be sucking dick fr,” he replied, “from the back.” As of the time of this article’s writing in December, the tweet had nearly 300,000 likes. And now that fan — and the world — knows Apollo isn’t the type to just dip his toe in queer aesthetics for the clout.

When we asked him to list his favorite queer-baiters, Apollo actually obliged. “Hahahhhahahhaah,” he began via email, then started naming names. “Harry Styles, Luka Sabbat, Evan Mock, Drake, Tyler Mitchell kinda, the dude [Matt Healy] from [The] 1975, Role Model with love, Jaden Smith.” That’s a comprehensive list!

The future of Apollo seems limitless. The 65th Annual Grammy Awards air February 5, so Apollo’s fate will be decided then — for this awards season, at least. But fans also look forward to SZA’s North American tour, in which he is a special guest. As a fan of her new album, SOS, Apollo is excited too. “The song I keep coming back to is ‘Nobody Gets Me,’” he says. “I’ve been playing it on repeat while I’m on vacation.” And we’re sure new music of his own is on its way.

In the meantime, Apollo has also been recruited as a brand ambassador for Buchanan’s Whisky, which he drinks “towards the end of the day when the sun is setting, definitely outside with a few friends and some good conversation.” Apollo is a part of the label’s 200 percent Futuro campaign, which celebrates the growing Latinx demographic and influence in the United States. The campaign’s name references an embrace of being 100 percent Hispanic and 100 percent American.

“Buchanan’s has been a part of my life since I can remember,” he says. “Growing up, my uncles and family [members] drank Buchanan’s during everyday occasions and big celebrations, and now I get to join this new generation of Hispanic American 200-percenters who are toasting to wins and milestones with Buchanan’s — just like my Grammy nomination! It is delicious when sipping it neat or on the rocks, but I like to mix it in a cocktail with pineapple juice — it’s the perfect combination of smooth whisky with a hint of sweetness.”

A new era of Omar Apollo is nigh – and we’re raising our glass to the ride.

There’s no way Omar Apollo knew what was in store for him at the top of last year.

THE SAND LOT

by daniel reynolds

It’s “life imitating art imitating life” for Kit Williamson and John Halbach. The married couple and stars of EastSiders — the beloved queer TV series set in the Silver Lake neighborhood of Los Angeles — moved from their own Silver Lake apartment to the California desert during lockdown. There, they bought and renovated a home in Joshua Tree, a High Desert community adjacent to the gay mecca of Palm Springs. They also filmed a new TV show, Unconventional, about queer siblings starting an atypical family in the same setting.

Ahead, the couple talks the highs and lows of buying and renovating their home, now dubbed the El Dorado Oasis, as well as making art together as a couple. The process wasn’t easy, and they provide tips to other LGBTQ+ folks considering a similar journey.

Kit Williamson and John Halbach fled L.A. to make their new home (and TV show) in the desert

SHAFIK WAHIB (LIVING ROOM); DAVID GEORGE ZIMMERMAN (JOHN & KIT)

What inspired your move to the desert?

John: We fell in love with Joshua Tree and Palm Springs when we started visiting 10 years ago. It’s been our go-to weekend getaway, and in 2016 we got married out here so we could share our favorite place with our friends and family.

Kit: It was a challenge spending the majority of the COVID quarantine times in our one-bedroom apartment in Silver Lake. I spent most of quarantine working in bed while John was on work Zooms in the living room. When we had the opportunity, we jumped at the chance to make the move out here and have more space.

How did you go about choosing a property?

John: Finding a property out here in the desert was a process. We put bids in on multiple spots that we fell in love with and ultimately didn’t get. You go through the grieving process, and the search continues. We feel really lucky that we ended up where we did, with a 1958 homestead cabin situated on five acres full of Joshua trees. Kit: It was all about the land for us, and we feel really lucky to have found a place with such great views that’s still pretty close to civilization.

What was the state of the property before renovations?

Kit: We like to say the previous owner made it nice, but we came in and made it gay.

What was your vision for what you wanted it to become?

John: We wanted to play up the desert fantasy and take advantage of the fact that this home is on five acres of land with stunning views in every direction. There were multiple French doors when we got the place, but they opened up to a fenced in yard with a clothesline in it. We took out that fence (and the clothesline) and laid pavers that take you to a hot tub, a cowboy tub with lounging deck, an outdoor clawfoot bathtub and shower, and our 1962 Shasta camper trailer. We also installed a hammock triangle further out in the property where we watch the sunset most every night.

Kit: I took the lead on the design process on the inside of the house, and I drew a lot of inspiration from houses [where] we had stayed out here when visiting and tried to marry it to our own mid-century style. The High Desert has its own aesthetic and motto: “Keep Mojave weird.”

How did you plan its execution?

Kit: As a filmmaker, I like to make mood boards in Keynote, so I started with that and then made a second presentation as we started nailing down the actual design.

John: The renovation process was definitely a learning process. We’re both producers who have managed big projects, but never anything like this. We went with the contractor who put in the lowest bid and found out there was a reason his bid was the lowest. A year and a half and a couple of crews after that original contractor, we finally got across the finish line.

What surprises did you encounter throughout the renovation process?

John: We were surprised how much Googling we had to do as a safety check with the folks working on the house. We found that just because someone says they can do tile or electrical work does not mean they will do it correctly or safely. You have to specify that you want things to look good and that you don’t want the house to burn down. Neither of those things are a given.

Kit: You also have to specify that you don’t want things to look like shit, apparently. When our tile accent wall was being put up, I noticed it was jagged and falling off the wall, because the installer was using thinset [mortar adhesive] on stucco, so I frantically started Googling “how to do tile work” and ended up working on it myself for two days.

What was the hardest part?

Kit: For me, it was staying positive and not letting my frustrations with the renovation spoil my love for the house. For John, it was probably putting up with me!

John: The most fun part has been getting across the finish line and finally getting to share the place with our friends and family. It’s so fun to play tour guide in this place we love so much and to come home to this spot we worked so hard to put together.

Any helpers, meaning folks or brands, you’d like to give a shout-out to?

Kit: I’m especially grateful to Signature Hardware, Villa Lagoon Tile, and Concrete Collaborative for helping the bathroom and kitchen renovations go smoothly. There’s really no place other than Home Depot to find quality fixtures and tile out here. But thanks to the internet, design and craftsmanship are so much more accessible than they’ve ever been before. Similarly, Burrow is a great company that delivers high-quality mid-century furniture to your door that is shockingly easy to assemble. We put together every piece of furniture in the house and some of it was a real test for our relationship, so finding Burrow was a huge relief.

John: Our hybrid mattresses from Tuft & Needle are seriously the most comfortable we’ve ever slept on. We also loved working with Café appliances by GE, Lamps Plus, Castlery, and Cushion Pros.

Did this experience impact your relationship?

John: I will say that renovating this house was more of a challenge for our relationship than producing four seasons of an indie television show on a microbudget was, but thankfully, we made it through and have a beautiful home to show for it.

Your new show is set in the desert. How did your move inspire you creatively?

Kit: It’s a case of life imitating art imitating life. Unconventional is a dark comedy about two eccentric queer siblings trying to start an unconventional family with their partners in the desert, where my character will be the sperm donor to his sister’s girlfriend. We had our writers’ room on Zoom, and it was very inspiring, imagining what life might be like for queer couples in Joshua Tree and Palm Springs. We started filming and had to shut down production when the pandemic surged, and John and I moved out here during that time. It ended up being a blessing in disguise because we were able to use the house and the land for several filming locations.

What’s the most difficult part of living in Joshua Tree — and the most rewarding?

Kit: We thought feeling isolated would be the most difficult part of living out here, but it’s actually been very grounding. Having

some space and distance has been great for us both personally and professionally.

John: Sometimes I miss being closer to friends and civilization, but thankfully, people like to visit here. It’s been really rewarding seeing the community grow over the last two years. It feels like a cool new bar or restaurant is opening every month.

Palm Springs is known as a gay oasis; Joshua Tree can be a mixed bag. Have you had any thorny encounters as a gay couple?

John: In Joshua Tree, you do see a lot of “Let’s Go, Brandon” flags. But you see a lot of Pride flags too!

A huge number of local businesses have LGBTQ+ owners, and most of the businesses on the main drag make a point to display Pride flags and Black Lives Matter signs.

Kit: The desert is changing quickly, and that change can be scary for some people, but all of our neighbors have been really welcoming. Any advice for queer couples seeking to embark on a similar journey?

SHAFIK WAHIB

Kit: Get a cat!

John: Honestly, the cat has stopped so many fights. Being in charge of keeping our son alive is always a good reminder that we are, in fact, a team.

What’s next?

John: Kit has to go back to L.A. for a few months to finish post-production on his new series, so we are renting the homestead out on Airbnb. We’re working with a great, queerowned property management company called Desert Beacon, and they’ve been taking great care of the place.

Kit: We also just bought another home. We are restoring a super cute 1970s pool house in Yucca Valley, which feels like it was transplanted here from Palm Springs. It’s a huge undertaking, but hopefully our relationship can survive it!

film a reel love story

JIM PARSONS AND BEN ALDRIDGE STARRED IN SPOILER ALERT, 2022’S BEST LOVE STORY. BUT CAN THEY BREAK HOLLYWOOD’S RAINBOW GLASS CEILING?

by RAFFY ERMAC

PLEASE SPOILERS,

photographer DAVID URBANKE

photographer DAVID URBANKE @davidurbanke photographer’s assistant THOMAS CHIMNEY @thomaschimney stylist MICHAEL FISHER @mjonf stylist’s assistants ANNIKA MORRISON @annikajmorrison ADDISON LINEBERGER groomer, Jim Parsons LISA-RAQUEL BAINES @lisaraquel groomer, Ben Aldridge MELISSA DEZARATE @melissa.dezarate videographer AUSTIN NUNES @austinunes

Jim Parsons in OFFICINE GENERALE

Black and White Striped Cotton and Linen-Blend T Shirt, GUCCI Black and White Striped Polo Shirt, SALVATORE FERRAGAMO Black Wide Legged Trousers, GH BASS Men’s Larson Colorblock Weejuns Loafer, GIULIVA HERITAGE Belt, YVES SAINT LAURENT Black Silk Satin Lavallière Tie, CARTIER Tank Louis Cartier Watch LONDON SOCK COMPANY Socks

Ben Aldridge in ALFANI Black Tank Top, KNICKERBOCKER Jack Camp Shirt in Natural, SCHOTT Black Horsehide Mechanic’s Jacket, PAUL SMITH Check WoolCashmere Pleated Pants, JOHN LOBB Kenton Monk-Strap Mens Leather Shoes, REMO TULLIANI Belt LONDON SOCK COMPANY Socks

It has been a banner awards season for LGBTQ+ films, with queer-centered productions like Tár, The Inspection, The Whale, and Bros raking in nominations for Hollywood’s top prizes. Another major contender, one of the past year’s best love stories, is Spoiler Alert, which shines even with (and perhaps, because of) its heartache.

Based on the critically acclaimed 2017 memoir Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies, the romantic drama from Focus Features chronicles the relationship between television journalist and TVLine founder Michael Ausiello (Jim Parsons) and his photographer husband, Kit Cowan (Ben Aldridge), the great love of his life. The film begins with the pair’s courtship, from a meet-cute at a New York City bar to a coming-out to Kit’s parents. What follows is the life of a relationship: a decade of corny Christmas cards, ups and downs, and major milestones like moving in (and moving out).

With a title like Spoiler Alert, the ending is no secret. The viewer sees the lovers’ final days together before Kit’s life is tragically cut short by terminal cancer. Spoiler alert: There are a lot of tears in store. Despite being born from a real-life tragedy, the film is a master class in showing viewers what real queer love can look like — messy, complex, and beautiful.

“I’ve had the privilege of playing several different gay characters that I thought were very full in a very deep and involved context in the stories, but this was unique in the way of getting to play those highs and lows,” says Parsons, the Emmy-winning gay actor who rose to fame playing Sheldon Cooper on CBS’s The Big Bang Theory.

Ben Aldridge in SALVATORE FERRAGAMO Men’s Tonal Gancini T-Shirt Sweater ALEX MILL Donegal Wool Sweater Vest R. SWIADER Jeremy Jacket and Trousers GUCCI Leather Lace-up Shoes LONDON SOCK COMPANY Socks

Jim Parsons in DOLCE & GABBANA Cashmere Turtleneck Sweater

ROBE DI KAPPA Button

Down shirt PAUL SMITH Check Wool DoubleBreasted Blazer BRIONI Twill 5-Pocket Pants CHURCHS Shannon Lace-up Derby Shoe ETON Pocket Square PRIVE REVAUX Glasses

LONDON SOCK COMPANY socks

— JIM PARSONS

“This relationship was the most authentic, for me, representation of who I am and the people I know and love,” he adds. “I’ve just never experienced anything like it. It was a fullness and a richness to their relationship that I had not gotten to portray onstage or on camera before. And good lord, was it rewarding.”

“One of the things I’m proudest of in the film is that it’s about love,” says Aldridge, who plays the confident, jock-y, handsome Kit to Parsons’s shy, nerdy Michael. “It’s about a relationship, and them being gay is integral to that. But also, what it is to be in a relationship over a long period of time and the fact that isn’t necessarily easy, and they weather various storms and about how life and time changes them.”

“I think it’s nice for us to be able to watch stories about ourselves that are beyond the normal trappings,” Aldridge adds. “Where we are not suffering at the hands of our sexuality or because of our sexuality. We’re just real.”

A major part of Spoiler Alert ’s realness comes from those who crafted it. While the source material is from Ausiello, the script was penned by gay writers David Marshall Grant, a Tonynominated actor from Angels in America who went on to write for Brothers & Sisters and Smash, and Dan Savage, of the It Gets Better Project and “Savage Love” sex column fame. Moreover, Parsons and his company, That’s Wonderful Productions, produced Spoiler Alert. Parsons first came across the memoir after moderating a Q&A with Ausiello at a Los Angeles-area Barnes & Noble after the book’s 2017 release. And ally Michael Showalter — known for other critically acclaimed films based on real-life stories like The Eyes of Tammy Faye and The Big Sick — was tapped to direct. With this résumé, Parsons knew he was the perfect choice.

Ben Aldridge in TODD SNYDER

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Wythe Suit Pant BOGLIOLI

Electric Blue Wool and Cashmere Cable Knit

Crewneck Sweater SCHOTT

NYC Cowhide Hip Length Car

Coat GUCCI Mirrored G Loafer

ANDERSON Woven Leather Belt

LONDON SOCK COMPANY Socks

Jim Parsons in BOGLIOLI

Turtleneck Ribbed Jumper

PERCIVAL Mohair Crew Neck

Sweater CANALI Ring Belt and Button Pants TOD’S

Leather Loafers LONDON SOCK COMPANY Socks

“Michael is the perfect balance of heartfelt and taking it seriously,” Parsons says. “He also brings a style that is not indulgent; it just takes it for what it is and it gets at its essence.”

And of course, a major gay production needs a top-tier gay icon. And Spoiler Alert boasts none other than two-time Oscar winner Sally Field.

“It was definitely [a] very kind of pinch-myself moment,” Aldridge confesses of getting to work with a beloved actress whose work includes Norma Rae and Places in the Heart, the two films for which she won Academy Awards as Best Actress. Herself a parent to a gay son in real life, Field portrays Kit’s loving mother, Marilyn. In the first scene Parsons and Aldridge filmed with her, Marilyn meets Michael for the first time at the hospital under the guise of him being Kit’s “friend.” It was a crucible moment for Aldridge, a gay British actor known to American audiences for playing Thomas Wayne in Pennyworth and the hot “Arsehole Guy” in Fleabag.

“I felt nerves and excitement and also a level of intimidation,” Aldridge recalls of that day. “I was kind of [preparing] myself to be like, ‘I’m going to be looking into Sally Field’s eyes. She’s going to

IT WAS A FULLNESS AND A RICHNESS TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP THAT I HAD NOT GOTTEN TO PORTRAY ONSTAGE OR ON CAMERA BEFORE. AND GOOD

LORD, WAS IT REWARDING.

be acting back with me.’ Me and Jim both were saying that we just want her to think that we are good and worthy.”

Field says the project was an immediate “yes!” for her after learning that Showalter and Grant were attached; she previously worked with the former on the 2015 film Hello, My Name Is Doris and with Grant on ABC’s Brothers & Sisters. She also connected with the project’s message.

“I love that it’s about how hard it is to love somebody,” Field says. “How hard it is to keep it, endure it, whether it be the older couple loving their son or the young couple loving each other. It’s about compassion and all of these things that right now I think the world needs to see. I was absolutely in.”

With this sterling team assembled, there was more than enough care to give heart and truth to Michael and Kit’s story without veering into melodrama. And the film, bravely, is not afraid to be sad. Although some viewers — particularly LGBTQ+ folks — may yearn for Hollywood happy endings, this is not the reality of the world today.

“This is a real story. This is true. I think that’s what we most want as a community: to see ourselves truthfully represented and not skewed one way or the other,” Aldridge says. “The fact that there have been so many tragic stories told…that’s because there has been a lot of tragedy in our community. I think those stories really hold a vital place being on-screen and in books and on-stage. It’s where we’ve learned most about ourselves.”

“We’re not immune, as gay people, to tragedy outside of the usual tropes,” Aldridge adds. “We are human, and I

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think it’s really important to show that.”

However, the film refuses to wallow in despair. “While there is so much that is sad that happens in [Spoiler Alert], one of the big headlines from me…is how many great things happened in Ausiello’s life because of risking, going through heartbreak,” says Parsons, adding, “I would say it’s a happy ending as far as someone who’s really doing the best they can to live their life to the fullest and not letting the fear of being hurt stop them from diving in.”

With all of Spoiler Alert ’s acting magic, could Parsons and Aldridge — or another out actor, like The Inspection’s Jeremy Pope, for that matter — take home Hollywood’s top prize? Dismally, there has yet to be an out gay actor who has won an Oscar for playing a queer role — though straight actors routinely take home gold for this opportunity. However, Parsons sees a changed landscape in 2023.

“I recognize how grateful I am that my life and the world has moved in a way that it has that I’m able to say this: I do

not consider my sexuality or anybody else’s when it comes to things like recognition,” says Parsons, a four-time Emmy winner for The Big Bang Theory. “That could be a little naive. It’s impossible to say that there isn’t still any resistance, and I’m sure we could point to cases that might exemplify that point, but that’s why I say it’s really my personal thing. It doesn’t cross my mind.”

Parsons recognizes that, while there is a lot of work that needs to be done toward equity, in his experience, the film industry

GAY

TRAGEDY OUTSIDE

TROPES.

tries to stay ahead of the curve when it comes to representation and advancing social causes.

“There’s at least a large segment of our industry that’s always very eager to be a part of that kind of progressive change,” he notes. “I know that [the] Hollywood industry isn’t the same as theater, especially growing up doing theater out of the spotlight. But at a certain level, the way I feel about being in this industry is very similar to the way I felt as a young man getting into theater, where that was why I was able to come out and live my life before the public knew it.” Parsons came out in 2012 in a profile for The New York Times

Could Spoiler Alert break that rainbow glass ceiling at the Oscars? “I’m not saying it’ll be [Spoiler Alert] that does that, but I think that with awards shows, that’s not only a possibility, I think it’s an inevitability,” he says.

“I’m still waiting for a female president,” Parsons continues. “I think that’s much harder to get. So that’s just my two cents.”

Beyond awards season, Parsons and Aldridge are hopeful that a film like Spoiler Alert — especially since it came out during a year with other milestone gay-themed romantic projects from major studios or channels like Bros and Fire Island — will help move the needle when it comes to the future of queer storytelling. There are still many more stories they want to create and see.

“Good storytelling overrides so many people’s bias about so many things, not just queer stories but God knows what in life,” says Parsons, noting that LGBTQ+ creators first need to

Ben Aldridge in TODD

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ANDERSON Woven

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Jim Parsons in BOGLIOLI Turtleneck Ribbed

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be given a seat at the table in order to tell a multitude of nuanced and original programming. “If you ask for just a few queer stories a year, well, then it feels like they either all have to be golden or they’re probably all not going to work. It is hard to understand. How do you deal with that?... But I think that is happening, and I think that continued good storytelling will just ensure that there are more. So I do feel hopeful.”

“I feel hopeful as well,” adds Aldridge, who would like to see an end to projects where LGBTQ+ characters have to provide an overview of their identity and culture to straight audiences. “A sophisticated story doesn’t have to over-explain itself,” he notes.

“Maybe it’s too idealistic of me, but I feel like we don’t need to do that,” Aldridge says. “I feel like if the filming is elevated enough and the storytelling is on point, that we can just exist in a way that we don’t need to explain ourselves to ourselves or to other people. When a film starts with, ‘This is how it works being gay and this is this tribe and that’s that tribe,’ I just feel like we don’t need to be as concerned with being understood in that way and having mass appeal in that way.”

As far as what specifically Aldridge wants to see more of in the future of queer cinema? Well, that answer harkens back to his own early career in the world of theater.

Aldridge would “love a really classy, gay-ass musical that wasn’t tacky, but it was just like, ‘Shit that’s a gay love story.’ Gay love, singing...Gay Singin’ in the Rain. I’d be so down for that. Gay in the Rain!”

WE’RE NOT IMMUNE, AS

PEOPLE, TO

OF THE USUAL

WE ARE HUMAN, AND I THINK IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO SHOW THAT.

— BEN ALDRIDGE

by DANIEL REYNOLDS photographer RYAN PFLUGER

TO HOLD TO HAVE AND

Jobel (he/him) & Joey (he/they)

“The beauty that we are coming to experience in owning our sexuality is that we can define what it means for us and how we want to experience it.”— JOBEL

I exist at the intersection of marginalization and privilege. I am queer — I am nonbinary — but I’m also white. Grappling with how to handle that as an artist — for my work to investigate a nuanced and complicated space — has been a long journey,” begins photographer Ryan Pfluger (he/they) in his introduction to Holding Space: Life and Love Through a Queer Lens, a revelatory new book of portraiture centering interracial LGBTQ+ couples.

In Holding Space, the meaning of the introduction is layered. The reader learns of the intent of Pfluger’s project — to explore intersectionality through photography of these subjects. But it’s also an introduction to Pfluger, who reveals that his career choice was influenced by an upbringing where he felt powerless. “My father a drug addict, mother an alcoholic. I was outed by my mother at 13 — an age when I didn’t even know what that meant for me. Control became an abstract concept that I was never privy to,” Pfluger shares.

— COYOTE

Tee (she/they) & Coyote (he/they)

“Loving you feels instinctual, like a habit I was born with. It feels like I was born to love you.”— TEE

“I can feel you loving something deeper than the surface of me and it makes me feel so alive.”

(he/him) & Joe (he/him)

Chris

“We are proud to be one of the few queer interracial couples within our immediate or extended family/friend circles, which has encouraged us to speak to our experiences and help others learn alongside us.” —JOE

“The driving force to be behind the lens though, was my instinctual desire for people to feel seen, thoughtfully and lovingly,” they add. “From my own experiences and of those I love, I know how damaging being seen through the eyes of judgment, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, and so on can be.”

Gaining control — guiding the lens and the narrative — was an early motivator of his work. (A renowned celebrity photographer, Pfluger will be known to Out readers for their 2015 Out100 portraits, which included Barack Obama and Caitlyn Jenner.) As photography became “less of a craft and more a part of my being,” however, “I discovered my gift to create art also held space for others — that relinquishing the control I had so desperately craved can be more powerful than possessing it,” Pfluger says. “Photography became a vessel of healing.”

To heal, hold space, and explore intersectionality in a way not seen before through his medium, Pfluger set out to photograph interracial LGBTQ+ couples within his social circle. This time, he did indeed relinquish control and let his subjects tell their story. They could choose the setting and their style of dress or undress. The only requirement was that they touch one another in some fashion.

Luke (he/him) & Brandon (he/him)

“Our differences are a plenty, but this love does not bend.”

Akeem (he/him) & Samuel (he/him)

“Despite our different desires, truths, and fears, there was a unique familiarity that made space for us to better understand each other.” — AKEEM

“We challenged the system when we decided to be together, and we’re challenging it again by staying in each other’s lives and preserving the bridges we’ve built.”

— SAMUEL

Milo

(he/him) & Legacy (he/they)

“Queer relationships aren’t tied to the limited, binary expectations that typically define heterosexual relationships.”

— MILO

Jo (they/them) & Zac (they/them)

“What

when Jo and I are able to achieve the level of coordination needed to experience the sensation of ‘them,’ and that it helps when I say, ‘I love them’ or ‘I trust them.’”

— ZAC

By the project’s conclusion — “two cross-country trips, over a thousand rolls of film, and sixteen months later” — Pfluger had documented over 120 couples, many of whom were recruited through social media and the internet. Some had broken up over that time period and pulled out of the project. Others wanted to share their heartache. Their stories, in first person, accompany their portraits, which launch Holding Space from the genre of photography book to a work of nonfiction, a chronicle of queer love in the 21st century.

“That is the beauty of relinquishing control,” Pfluger concludes. “Allowing the space for things to evolve and change — for marginalized people to have control over their narratives regardless of my intentions. To listen and learn. That is why Holding Space exists.”

Over 70 portraits and accompanying essays are featured in Holding Space, published by Princeton Architectural Press. The book also boasts excerpts from luminaries like Elliot Page, Bowen Yang, Ryan O’Connell, and Jamie Lee Curtis, and a foreword by director Janicza Bravo. Find a copy at PAPress.com or RyanPfluger.format.com. Follow the artist on Instagram @ryanpfluger.

can I say other than it is incredibly life-affirming

Liz (she/her) & Carlena (she/her)

“Each and every day I am humbled by the intersectionality of our love. By the way our individual ethnicities, races, upbringings, and queer identities guide us toward an even deeper understanding of self and other.”

— CARLENA

“My hope is that by continuing to love one another openly and fearlessly, future generations will be inspired to also love without any bounds.” — LIZ

David (he/him) & Michael (he/him)

“We started our relationship at the height of the pandemic, and it was amazing to be able to run to Michael and feel safe in his arms.”— DAVID

NEW YORK’S

IT BOYS NEW

Xavier Cruz , Jonah Almost , and Terence Edgerson dish on what to wear during an NYC winter and where to go to heat things up

photographer SANTIAGO BISSO @santiagobisso stylist MARTIN GREGORY JEREZ @martin_gregory hair ISAAC DAVIDSON @isaacdavidsonhair makeup COLBY SMITH @colbymakeup styling assistant NATHAN SWEET @ncsweet_

Left to Right

Xavier Cruz artist

Your friend is visiting NYC for one day. What locations would you take them? I’m intrigued by the access to art in NYC, so I would suggest museums and exhibits to anyone visiting. The Met, MoMA PS1, and the Whitney are some of my favorites as well as a string of small galleries on Bowery Steet. We would also have to visit the local vintage shops I frequent downtown, followed by dinner at La Esquina in SoHo.

How do you typically layer when you’re going out in cold weather?

Cold weather doesn’t inhibit me from dressing very eccentric. If I want to wear a miniskirt in the middle of winter, I will, but I’ll pair it with a chunky knit, knee-high boots, and a knee-length shearling to top it off.

Tell us a story about your most epic night out in New York. Any NYC night out can be epic at any time because this city is such a melting pot of energy and expression. My most epic night out was during a Halloween event, hosted by The Real Housewives of New York, when Dominique Jackson pulled me out of the crowd and brought me onstage to dance with her. Dominique is an icon, and I admire her tremendously, so to receive that attention in that moment was a moment to remember.

How does NYC inspire you creatively?

NYC inspires me creatively by always evolving yet maintaining its authenticity. Gentrification is an ongoing issue that continues to challenge New York City culture and affordability. But seeing the communities make it out with an even stronger bond is very inspiring. I’m inspired to explore any creative outlet with ambition and curiosity.

What role does nightlife play today in queer culture, particularly after COVID and Colorado Springs? Nightlife is a place of celebration, discovery, and healing. I met my partner at a Ladyfag party as well as many of my close friends and collaborators. I’ll always have a place in my heart for nightlife and the nightlife community, with all of the warmth and advice I’ve received over the years. COVID closed NYC nightlife for over a year, but we emerged glorious and grateful

to hug and dance again. The Colorado Springs shooting is tragic and also is a reminder that violence and bigotry is still present, but we must not allow fear or hatred to deter us from connecting with our community.

Who is your found family? My found family in NYC are the most diverse and creative people I’ve ever met. I have a range of family in career-wide fields from fashion to nonprofit, and it’s inspiring. My found family has been crucial in my self-discovery as well as emotional and career support. Found family has always been crucial in a city such as NYC — especially being a queer POC.

What projects are you working on? I am multifaceted, and I have many dreams and ambitions. One of my projects that I am currently working on is my career in fine jewelry. Jewelry has always been a part of who I am — from begging my mom to pierce my ears at the age of 13 to studying and obtaining my GIA certifications. @xcruzzz

Jonah and Xavier in MONCLER X PALM ANGELS Jackets, Trousers NIKE Sneakers

Jonah Almost recording artist

Your friend is visiting NYC for one day. What locations would you take them? First stop, the pier! We have a cute lil’ moment, smoke a j, take in the views — World Trade shit, you know? Then we cruise down Christopher Street to Julius’ for a lil’ burger and a brew. Then it’s back to Chelsea to my crib for a pregame. I love to host! Then we walk over to the Eagle for some classic gay debauchery. Depending on the vibe, it’s either back to my crib or we make the trek to Basement to rave the morning away.

How do you typically layer when you’re going out in cold weather? Big and baggy! My typical look is baggy jeans. I’ve been wearing these double-zip ones from GMBH for so long. They are falling apart, but I love ’em; they are like the clothing intersection of my gay and skater identities. Then it’s a T-shirt and a heavyweight cotton hoodie, like this one I just got from FUCT. Then when it comes to the jacket, I need puffers at all times. I have this shiny black one from Moncler that’s so loud. I look like a drug dealer when I wear it. Finally, I wear this knitted balaclava my friend Arvi Sulovari made for me. It’s like argyle green and khaki with little horns on top — mad cute. I always get hella compliments when I wear it.

Tell us a story about your most epic night out in New York. I keep going back to my first days of going out in New York. I was like 18, going to this illegal club called the Spectrum — the old one. It was so major— that was kind of my first entry point into the “underground” of NYC, so it holds a special place in my heart. It was for the freaks. There were looks, queers, psychotic DJ sets, toilets that were always broken…and I loved it! Many epic nights and fond memories there. Shoutout to Gage and Danny. Bonus epic NYC fail was getting caught, read, then kicked out by Connie Girl for using a fake ID (a shitty one) at Battle Hymn when I was 19.

How does NYC inspire you creatively?

I think it partially stems from a couple different things: the diversity, the pressure, the pace, the history. I mean, we all know NYC is an amazing city with so much iconic history. I strive to be a part of that. I see greatness all around me. I have so many talented friends and peers who contribute to culture. That also inspires me to be great and to care about something and share it with the world, like the music I make. The pace is for sure crazy, though. I definitely wish things would slow down sometimes. But then as soon as they do, I’m like…I’m bored. So that inspires me to keep it moving!

Who is your found family? So many amazing people I’ve met along my journey in NYC. Growing up, you always hear older people talk about lifelong friends, and I remember wanting to make my own so badly when I was younger…and I have! You never know who comes into your life, whether through chance encounters or through a connection. One of my longest friends in NYC I met at a bodega when I was 19. These lifelong friends are my found family, and they have shown up, loved me, and supported me in countless ways. And they also call me out when I’m being a douchebag!

What projects are you working on? I have a new song coming out produced by Owwlss that I’m hyped on. It’s funny because my last track with him, “World Trade,” was like a sexy slutty club song. This new one has more angsty, emo vibes. I’m singing on it more; it feels more vulnerable. When we finished the first session, Owwlss was like, “Damn, this sounds apocalyptic.” Which I think is sick. Anyway, I gotta show the people I have depth too! There’s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously goodlooking. @jonahalmost

Left ALEXANDER MCQUEEN Suit, Shoes BRITT BOLTON JEWELRY Rings and Bracelet

Below LOUIS VUITTON Jacket and Trousers CONVERSE Sneakers BRITT BOLTON JEWELRY Ring and Bracelets

Terence in GUCCI Hat, Cardigan, Shirt, Tie, Shorts, Bag and Boots Xavier in GUCCI Blazer, Trousers, Bag and Shoes K.NGSLEY Earrings

Terence Edgerson event producer

Your friend is visiting NYC for one day. What locations would you take them? OK, so here’s the deal. If I’m taking you around the city for one day, you’re getting the inside scoop version of New York — a.k.a. riding in the car with @nysocialbee. First we’re going to Pies ’n Thighs in Brooklyn for breakfast because I want some cheddar grits and bacon. Then we’re going to the Conservatory Garden at 105th Street for a little peace and quiet in the park, hardly anyone is ever there so it’s the perfect hideaway. Then it’s time for a little lunch at Mimi Cheng’s, the best dumplings in town. Then we’re going shopping. So we’re gonna hop on the subway down to Chinatown. James Veloria is my ultimate go-to for everything fabulous. Vintage Tom Ford, Gucciera black silk bustier top and a rare Comme des Garçons sequin dress are just a few treasures I’ve picked up from there. Shopping is exhausting, so now it’s my favorite hour of the day: cocktail hour! My friend Kyle just opened this hot restaurant called Holiday Bar. We’re going to sit in my booth there and have the best lychee martinis in town while snacking on some sushi before we start the night at my favorite club in the sky: Le Bain at the Standard Hotel, where my party, The List Is Closed, will just be getting under way. Of course we have to end the night at Joe’s Pizza back home in Williamsburg with my guys. We’re like family now — they know my schedule better than I do. How do you typically layer when you’re going out in cold weather? Red Ivy Park puffer, Telfar jorts, white boots that I became so obsessed with that I ordered two more online, and a nasty attitude. Oh, and my Dior saddle bag, because no one is safe at night without a pocketbook.

Tell us a story about your most epic night out in New York. The night that I hosted Horse Meat Disco at Output until 5 a.m., and when we left we were still in the mood to dance. So we scurried over from Williamsburg to Bushwick and found ourselves at some unidentified building. We knocked and a man coyly opened the door. As we made our way upstairs, we could hear the

thumping bass. Turns out, the DJ duo Wrecked [Ryan Smith & Ron Like Hell] was playing. It was magical. We danced as the sun poured in and lit our bodies so heavenly. Of course, that’s just snapshot of the many epic nights I’ve had in New York since I was 18 — from dancing around naked in my friend’s St. Regis suite and hanging our jockstraps on the chandelier to dancing hand in hand with Lady Gaga at a small bar in Chinatown during fashion week at B.east or singing karaoke with supermodels at a club underneath a hotel that you had to walk through the kitchen to get to. There is much to tell and so little time.

How does NYC inspire you creatively? She inspires me daily. I look at the people on the trains and what they’re wearing, from the G Train to the Lexington Avenue-59th stop; there is no shortage of inspiration. The Manhattan skyline from the Brooklyn Heights promenade is one of my favorite spots to go and watch the sunset. It was actually the inspiration for one of my promo videos for my party Stuntsz. I’ve always been inspired by the sheer will and determination of this city and its people. I can spend all day in a coffee shop just taking in everything around me, or I’ll be at an after-party taking in the environment. There’s no shortage of inspiration, and you never know where it’s going to come from or how it will manifest in your life.

What role does nightlife play today in queer culture, particularly after COVID and Colorado Springs? Out of the 17ish hours of the day we are awake, we are hustling, working, commuting, which is great but subtracts energy we have to be ourselves. Queer nightlife, especially in the wake of tragedy, offers people a space to be themselves and connect with others outside the confines of the day. We just recently celebrated the 10-year anniversary of the queer DJ duo The Carry Nation, and it was a three-day blowout of the best DJs from all over. And what was so significant about it was that on the dance floor, there was this sense of togetherness. I may not know your name, but here on this dance floor for this moment in time, I am your sister, your brother, your friend, and that sense of love and community is fostered there on the dance floor and then taken out into the world and spread for all those that need it. That’s the real gospel right there. We keep dancing, we keep smiling across the dance floor, we keep finding love under the disco ball, because all friendships are based on love.

Who is your found family? Queer New York is my family. I’m related to anyone who’s come through this city and experienced the community, the joy, and the hardships and said, “You know what, I can do this.” Ali Forney Center is my family. They brought me in as a client when I was homeless and riding the train back and forth because I had nowhere to go. The love and support I’ve gotten from them and my friends that have helped me along the way is truly unsurmountable. My best friend Ayana Evans was key to me making it here, as was my best friend Charlie. Those two people shaped my life, and I probably wouldn’t be in New York still if it weren’t for them and how they were able to change my life.

What projects are you working on? Every single day, I wake up and ask myself how the fuck I’m gonna turn this city out. I’m currently working on starting a new Sunday party that will be reminiscent of the party Beige. People keep saying we need somewhere chic and fun to go to and still be home by midnight, so I’m finally putting something together for them. I’ve already started working on Pride, if you can believe it. When they say the city that never sleeps, they were talking about the gays. My weekly Thursday night party at Le Bain is keeping me busy, and I’m getting ready for the next Stuntsz that will take place at this new venue Silo during their opening week. I’m terribly excited because it’s gonna be very cunt — the lighting is gonna make you gag! I’m screaming just thinking about it! @nysocialbee

FENDI Coat, Trousers and Bag NIKE Sneakers A SINNER IN PEARLS Necklace

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Terence in JEAN PAUL GAULTIER Jacket, Trousers and Jewelry (from HOUSE W NYC) DR MARTENS X MARC JACOBS Boots

Xavier in JEAN PAUL GAULTIER Jacket, Trousers and Jewelry (from HOUSE W NYC) BOTTEGA VENETA Boots

Jonah in JEAN PAUL GAULTIER Scarf (from HOUSE W NYC) BALENCIAGA Boots

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Jonah in DIOR

X ERL Hat, Shirt, Sweater, Trousers, Sneakers

Xavier in DIOR

X ERL Hat, Shirt, Sweater, Trousers, Sneakers BITTERSWEET

JEWELRY Earrings

Clockwise from Top Xavier in LOUIS VUITTON Jackets, Sweaters, and Trousers CONVERSE Sneakers

Terence in LOUIS VUITTON Shirt and Trousers

CONVERSE Sneakers

Jonah in LOUIS VUITTON Jacket and Trousers

CONVERSE Sneakers BRITT BOLTON JEWELRY Bracelet

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Terence in AKNVAS Jacket, Trousers and Scarf STETSON Trucker Hat NIKE Sneakers

Jonah in AKNVAS Vest and Trousers STETSON Trucker Hat NIKE Sneakers BRITT BOLTON JEWELRY Ring and Bracelet

by neal broverman ALAX MATIAS/PEXELS

Chris Schroder had his best hair day in seventh grade — and it was all downhill after that.

The future journalist and publishing entrepreneur began shedding his locks soon after and, by his early 30s, his follicles were confined to above his neck and ears. He worked to grow comfortable with his baldness. While serving as creative director of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, he shaved his head, receiving compliments from gay coworkers on his well-proportioned pate. Still, he felt slighted by his retreating tresses, believing his employers, romantic interests, and the public at large gravitated to his dome over all else.

At age 62, Schroder traveled to Istanbul to get a hair transplant and, soon after, chronicled his lifetime hair journey in the memoir Headscape: How a Bald Guy Replanted His Hair and Restarted His Life. Schroder filled us in on the realities of surgical intervention and broached the rarely discussed attachment between men and their manes.

WHAT EXACTLY IS A HAIR TRANSPLANT?

There’s a long history of hiding baldness — Louis XIII popularized powdered wigs in the 1600s, toupees arrived in the 1700s, then men wore hats until JFK was inaugurated. Japanese doctors invented hair transplants in the 20th century. They extracted whole strips of scalp and moved them to the bald areas with mixed results. Then scientists discovered hair on the side of men’s heads had different DNA than hair on top — and it resisted testosterone’s tendency to eventually kill hair follicles. In the past 20 years, doctors use microscopic punch tools to move individual follicles in a process called FUE. That was a game changer.

MANY WOMEN EMBRACE WEARING WIGS OPENLY. WHY CAN’T MEN ADMIT THEY’VE HAD A TRANSPLANT?

Joe Biden, Elon Musk, and millions of others have transplanted their hair but won’t talk about it. At the age of 62, I flew to Turkey with my barber in 2019 where a clinic moved 5,000 follicles from the side of my head at one 10th the cost of surgery in the U.S. After 30 years as a bald guy, I now look like I thought I would when I aged. Everyone tells me I look 20 years younger, but they don’t detect what changed. I was incredulous and decided to write a book about my lifelong struggle with baldness and life now with a beautiful head of hair. My only regret is I didn’t do it years ago.

MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK GOOD BUT ALSO BE ABOVE VANITY. HOW DO WE FIX THIS?

We’re all vain to some extent and have one or two things we wish we could change about ourselves. Men fear being ridiculed for undergoing cosmetic surgery and instead let nature take its course. But this surgery is life-changing. I feel so much happier and confident.

ANY TIPS FOR WHAT YOUNG MEN CAN DO WHEN THEY START NOTICING HAIR LOSS OR THINNING?

In addition to my personal journey, my book includes research on various aspects, including that 45 percent of transplant patients are between ages 26 to 35. The surgery takes one day and, with local anesthesia, doesn’t hurt at all. I now realize I can help other men — and women — confront their insecurity about baldness and actually do something about it. Talk to your doctor and keep combing!

Headscape is available on Amazon. For more information visit Headscape.me.

PHOTO OF ÖZTÜRK AND SCHRODER COURTESY SCHRODER/KEVIN SERANI

Medical team leader Göksul Öztürk with Chris Schroder

Ihave to admit, the steroid scene in Bros — in which Bobby (Billy Eichner) goes into “roid rage” after taking testosterone for comic effect — bugged me.

Maybe it bugged others — anyone who, like trans men, regularly use this medication. For fun, I visited a half dozen sites that warn parents about film content. Most of them classify the steroid scene in Bros as illicit drug use, or it’s mentioned somewhere between “lewd behavior” and “f words” when reviewers just couldn’t place it.

For me, testosterone was a godsend. It brought my sex drive back when I felt broken and helped me feel settled and at ease in my body. It was a profound confidence boost. Testosterone is a sex hormone that all bodies need and make in varying amounts. Some bodies, like mine, make too little. Others make too much. As with many HIVpositive men who’ve been positive for some time, my testosterone is naturally low. After some months of testosterone replacement therapy, or TRT — which my doctor prescribed to keep me in a statistically “normal” range — I decided, quite casually, to double it. Later, I decided to do a little more. These choices meant leaving the medical doses my doctor sanctioned and taking my first nervous steps into the world of anabolic steroids.

But what are “anabolic steroids”? Most people have an idea: a massive, red-faced bodybuilder, seconds away from a heart attack, lifting an amount of metal no human should be able to lift. That’s not too far off: Bodybuilders use anabolic steroids globally. They are chemicals that include natural hormones like testosterone and estrogen and synthetic chemicals that mimic their effects. Anabolics are used for medical purposes, but when not prescribed by a doctor, they are deemed substances of abuse because they can lead to many physical and mental health problems. Too much of a good thing can kill you, and bodybuilders die every day from heart and liver problems due to too much testosterone (often lethally mixed with other supplements that do various things).

I was surprised to learn that the difference between TRT and “anabolic steroids” is usually just the amount taken — the stuff you inject is more or less the same. Many bodybuilders take other things that make them gain weight in specific ways, inhibit appetite, and more — but the essential ingredient we all hover around is a natural hormone that helps people sleep, fuck, and get mad.

The most controversial scene in Bros is the steroid one. Controversy is good. It lays bare the elements of our lives we don’t like seeing. I found it triggering for two reasons. One: it was played for comedy, riffing on “roid rage” — the idea that one becomes an aggressive, red-eyed monster on testosterone. Some do, especially at high doses. Still, that stereotype overlooks all the calm TRT users. Two: I was shocked it was in the movie at all. In a film that poked fun at modern gay life, a comedic scene about injecting testosterone downplays its dangers and suggests, optimistically, that steroids are something gay and queer men are now transparent about using.

Steroid users are usually reluctant to talk about it, mainly because anabolic steroids are illegal in most places. In Germany, where I live, it is unlawful to own, sell, or ship them without a prescription. No one intended Bros to make us ask bigger questions about queer life — it was a charming box office flop that (hopefully) launched gay heartthrob Luke Macfarlane into leading man territory. But as a modern gay love story, it raises a question: Are we owning our steroid use now?

Not yet, it seems. In writing this, I spoke to gay doctors, a dozen or more gay personal trainers, and even a historian on queer culture.

None would go on the record to talk about steroids. I spoke to several steroid users, and while they all offered helpful information, no one would let me use their real name. It is likely too much to ask someone to confess to a crime in writing, and taking anabolic steroids is a crime.

In a way, steroids are the epitome of an open secret: A crowd of shirtless men at a gay dance party will show how widespread their use is, but few of those men will talk about it, except with other users. Many consider it impolite to ask. “It’s like asking someone if they’re cheating,” a friend told me. There is still an element of hush — a magician never reveals his secrets. But bodies aren’t magic, and the muscle look popular among many gay men is simply not achievable without help, especially after a certain age. If you know a gay man over 40 who’s ripped, he’s likely taking them.

That historian, though unwilling to be named, offered this: The steroid look came about in gay culture during AIDS in the 1980s when they were prescribed to AIDS patients to prevent wasting. “They did more than that,” said a gay friend who enjoyed San Francisco in the ’80s and has been taking testosterone since his HIV diagnosis. “They also helped mood, appetite, and of course, sex drive. HIV knocked testosterone levels out for some of us.”

In time, the meds got better. In 1996, better antiretrovirals came. Wasting became less common, but the muscle look stayed. The roided-out muscleheads of the ’80s and early ’90s looked that way because they were actually dying; the roidedout muscleheads of the early aughts looked that way because they wanted to. Tom of Finland and modern bodybuilding ensured muscle would stay in gay vogue for years.

A common sentiment among those I spoke to was that the muscle look is waning. One friend said, “By now, people have seen enough of their friends die from heart problems.” A steroid user in Berlin said the look had become “intense” and was now “on its way out.” I wasn’t so sure about that, but what do I know? I know I love how I feel. It’s hard to demonize something that makes me feel right. Someone addicted to heroin might say the same.

Bros bugged me because, like drugs, steroids require nuance, not just base negativity or easy laughs. Body modification can be beautiful and empowering — and lethal. There is something both ruinous and righteous in wanting to control the vessel of one’s being, even to death. We are brief creatures in a world where most things are beyond our control. The body, then, for many, is our one domain. I cannot fault anyone for wanting to rule it. And the body is cruel. It ages and gives out on you right when you think you know it. I understand the men who want to keep their virility, stay in the game, and to hell with the health effects because we all die anyway.

At the same time, I know the more extreme steroid users in my life, most in their 40s and 50s, will be dead in 10 years. Criminalization has done nothing to curb their use, so maybe Bros can suggest a different course: the truth. Harm reduction to prevent death from recreational drugs requires people to be honest about what they do. The same approach is needed here. No more winking and shrugging: I take testosterone, and the amount I take might harm me. Let’s talk about it.

Alexander Cheves is a writer, sex educator, and author of My Love Is a Beast: Confessions from Unbound Edition Press. @badalexcheves

ENDING A HOLLYWOOD

There was a lot to bear in 2022. But here we are, in a new year full of new possibilities. We know there are challenges ahead — for our community and in our day-to-day lives. (Are we really expected to battle inflation and right-wing attacks on our humanity?) However, each day also brings triumphs and opportunities large and small to rise up against our villains. Don’t wait for Hollywood. You’re the hero in this fight, dear reader. Lead the charge.

Xavier in COACH Jacket and Shorts

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