Out Magazine, March-April 2023

WITH SASHA COLBY MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ ARI SHAPIRO BRAD GORESKI RONNIE WOO

COVER STORY

46 A MIGHTY MULTIHYPHENATE

Billy Porter has changed Broadway, Hollywood, fashion, and now, the music industry. The Black gay star bares all about his new chapter and a lifetime of breaking barriers.

FILM

22 GETTING HAIRY

Michelle Rodriguez is a real barbarian in Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

TV

62 SASHA’S STYLE

Drag Race’s Sasha Colby tells her journey in fashion and gender.

FASHION

68 TO BE REAL

The Real Friends of WeHo stars model real West Hollywood style.

BILLY PORTER in HELENA EISENHART

Leather Star Stud Top and D-Ring

Pant KAT AND CLARESE Hat SYRO Shoes

photographer SAM WAXMAN

@wamsaxman

HOME

8 THE PLAY AGENDA

Josh and Matt give colorful advice in love and decor.

FOOD

14 GOOD TASTE

Ronnie Woo is redefining all-American cuisine.

FINANCE

20 HUSTLERS

Make extra cash by tapping into side jobs.

TRAVEL

26 LIFE’S A BEACH

Dive into adventure in Hawaii and Puerto Rico.

GROOMING

38 DATING PREP

Products to look and smell great for that first date.

ART

78 MYTH CONNECTIONS

Salem Beiruti illustrates his love of mermen and more.

BOOKS

84 STRANGER THINGS

Reporter Ari Shapiro dishes on listening to others.

LAST CALL

86 SOBER UP

The rise of dry alternatives to the gay bar.

LAST PAGE

88 CURTAIN CALL

A parting shot of our cover star, Billy Porter.

Suit

Shoes UBS GOLD Necklaces

photographer

CURTIS HAMILTON in DOLCE & GABBANA

PAISLEY AND GRAY Shirt REY REY

EASTON SCHIRRA @eastonschirra

THE NEW FRAGRANCE

RUB THE BOTTLE TO DISCOVER SCENT

MARK BERRYHILL Chief Executive Officer

MICHAEL KELLEY President, Global Growth and Development

JOE LOVEJOY Chief Financial Officer

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NEAL BROVERMAN Editorial Director

DANIEL REYNOLDS Editor in Chief

RAINE BASCOS Executive Creative Director

EDITORIAL

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Mey Rude Staff Writer

CONTRIBUTORS

Alexander Cheves, Nick Wolny, Taylor Henderson

ART

Mariusz Walus Graphic Designer

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Don Michael, Jr. Graphic Artist

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A NOTE FROM OUR CEO

Hi there! As CEO of equalpride, publisher of The Advocate, Out, Out Traveler, and Plus magazines, and producer of the Advocate Channel, I want to share some exciting updates.

In February, equalpride was part of the celebration for the 50th anniversary of Stonewall National Museum and Archives in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. The 50th anniversary gala honored Margaret-Mary Wilson, the out CEO of United Health Group, along with LGBTQ+ activist Zander Moricz.

The Stonewall National Museum is the only national LGBTQ+ nonprofit headquartered in Florida and that means a great deal as our community faces so many obstacles there. The library and archives are essential as we challenge book bans, support educators, stand up for trans lives, and champion health care for all members of our community.

Additionally, we are proud to announce that equalpride has signed with the leading entertainment and sports agency: Creative Artists Agency. CAA will support equalpride in a variety of areas including creative strategy and brand partnerships. This signing marks a new phase for our brands, allowing us to provide the best content for the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. It also expands our reach and ability to amplify meaningful stories of diversity, inclusion, and equality.

Thank you for being a loyal reader. I welcome feedback, so reach out at advocatemarkb@equalpride.com, IG @advocatemarkb.

Warmest

Regards, Mark Berryhill, Chief Executive Officer

A Dress for Success

In our new interview with Sasha Colby — a frontrunner on RuPaul’s Drag Race at the time of this letter’s writing and a champion of the pageant circuit — she recalls her first gender-affirming experience. The Hawaiian native was 17. It was Halloween. And a friend named Lindsay helped her dress in drag for the first time.

“We all walked around Waikiki and I just felt like…‘I’m a girl.’ It was so empowering. I was finally seen but not gawked at,” Colby marvels in her fashion retrospective (page 62). “I was really awkward before I transitioned, but as soon as I started presenting [as] how I actually felt on the inside, a lot of people were like, ‘You just seem so much happier now…. It’s so nice to see you.’”

LGBTQ+ people have a special relationship with clothes. For the closeted, they can be a costume, a means to masquerade. But they can also be a declaration of identity and empowerment. Coming of age in the early aughts, I wore the expected uniform of a millennial teenage boy: baggy shirts and pants in unassuming colors. I’ll never forget the experience of walking into Structure — a former menswear branch of Express — for the first time to try on a pair of fitted jeans with a scarlet button-down. There in the dressing-room mirror, I observed my silhouette, my butt for the first time. How nice to finally see me.

This issue is themed Fashion and Beauty. And we could think of no better cover star than Billy Porter, an indomitable multihyphenate whose presence and style has transformed Broadway, Hollywood, and now, with a new album, the music industry. Porter has a complicated history with clothes. The onetime Grease star recalls one famous but fraught “Beauty School Dropout” performance: “They put me in 14

inches of orange rubber hair and a space suit and made me prance around like a Little Richard automaton on crack.” He estimates it took him 25 years to recover professionally from Broadway’s attempts to sartorially caricature his race and sexuality.

Today he’s reclaimed his power. When Porter strut into the 2019 Oscars in a tuxedo gown designed by Christian Siriano, he kicked open the door for gender creativity on red carpets and in the broader cultural landscape. “I was just trying to do something fierce,” he tells us in our interview on page 46. “I had no idea that it was going to change the face of fashion forever.”

Of course, queer people have always been at the forefront of fashion. Gayborhoods are incubators for the styles that will soon be worn by Hollywood’s biggest stars (hello, harnesses!). To gain insight into the latest trends, we consulted celebrity stylist Brad Goreski and his Real Friends of WeHo costars Curtis Hamilton and Joey Zauzig. In our fashion spread (page 68), they show off their Sunday Funday best while reflecting on the first season of their MTV reality series, which sparked some heated debate within the gay community.

Style isn’t all about clothes. In the art world, illustrator Salem Beiruti brings his love of myths and mermen to Marvel (page 78). In another epic film, bisexual badass Michelle Rodriguez discusses how she advocated for her Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves character to have armpit hair (page 22). Not into hair? Our new grooming guide offers products to help trim, pluck, and prep for a smooth date night (page 38).

Of course, food is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Chef Ronnie Woo shares some recipes from his new cookbook while breaking down what it means to be an Asian American culinary star in media (page 14). What’s a great date without the perfect space? Josh Jessup and Matt Moss offer tips for bringing color and whimsy into home décor, which helped them cultivate a vivacious relationship (page 8). And NPR journalist Ari Shapiro reflects on how politics intervened in his own love story — and shaped a breathtaking career in journalism— in our interview on page 84.

The honeymoon has just begun for Out. For the first time in years, we’re welcoming Out Traveler back into our pages. In this section beginning on page 26, editor in chief Jacob AndersonMinshall takes us on island adventures to Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and beyond — while reminding us of the importance of sustainable tourism that honors Indigenous communities. Save up for your travels with a financial guide to side hustles (page 20). And reevaluate your relationship to alcohol in the latest Last Call column, which explores how the sober-curious movement is impacting LGBTQ+ society (page 86).

These are sobering times, dear reader. There’s war, economic uncertainty, and renewed assaults on trans rights and LGBTQ+ equality. But in the face of this darkness, so many of you bravely put on the jeans, the hair style, the dress that declare who you are. As Sasha would say, it’s so nice to see you.

Sincerely,

Daniel Reynolds Editor in Chief

ROGER KISBY/GETTY IMAGES FOR IMDB

THE COLOR OF LOVE

Josh Jessup and Matt Moss met six years ago in college by going on a date with the same person — separately, that is. Each had a “failed date,” they attest, but that date luckily decided to play matchmaker and set the pair up. Lightning struck. After three weeks of seeing one another, they moved in together, which began a long-term relationship in love and design.

Home decor wasn’t initially in the cards for this Australian couple. But then the pandemic happened. Jessup lost his job at the Apple Genius Bar, and the pair “started exploring our creativity and art as a way to deal with this period of uncertainty and isolation.” They moved to Melbourne to launch “a rental-friendly art and decor business,” and a movement was born. Their embrace of color and whimsy in a dark time attracted hundreds of thousands of followers and millions of likes on their @joshandmattdesign TikTok account. Fans flock to JoshAndMattDesign.com for rule-breaking art and design — for the ceiling as well as the wall.

Ahead, the artists and content creators offer advice to renters and homeowners alike on incorporating unique, colorful design that can transform a space and a relationship.

How would you describe your aesthetic?

by DANIEL REYNOLDS

Our style is a manifestation of what goes on in both our brains merged into one. We don’t necessarily have a clear picture of where we want to go, but it’s all about the journey. We love experimentation and being guided by how objects

In the face of dark times, Josh Jessup and Matt Moss grew a vibrant relationship, decor business, and social media following

and colors make us feel. You’ll notice — around our house, it is very colorful and full of objects that look very different from one another. But once together, [they] create a very unique visual story. Our style is eclectic, playful, colorful, and always evolving.

Who are your inspirations?

It was the Kelly Wearstler MasterClass [from the renowned interior designer] that made us realize that [this] is the direction in life we wanted to go. We started to fill our minds with as much art and design knowledge as we could to figure out what we are drawn to and who inspires us. There’s so many amazing designers and collectives that we look up to, including Verner Panton, Memphis Milano, Gufram, Faye Toogood, [and] Patricia Urquiola.

Does being part of the LGBTQ+ community inform your style?

Growing up in a society where we were afraid to be our authentic selves really made us want to create our own safe space that was entirely a reflection of us and what we love. We felt interior design was a great way to explore our own authenticity, and we hope it encourages other members of the LGBTQIA+ community to embrace every facet of themselves.

You didn’t always embrace color in interior design. What changed?

Embracing color in our home was like a light bulb moment for us! Before @joshandmattdesign, we had a color palette of gray, black, and brown. Every other area of our life, though, we loved color — from the clothes we had to the art we created. And we both realized we hadn’t applied our love of color to our own home. The pandemic really caused a shift towards color for us, as we were now inside our apartment a lot more frequently, and it became really important to us that our home made us happy

and became our safe haven. And this naturally led us to a path of color everywhere.

How has transforming your living spaces transformed your lives?

It’s completely transformed our lives. We wanted to share our love of color, art, and interior design but never could have imagined it would turn into the platform and career we have today. We feel incredibly blessed and grateful to be able to do this together. I think because we were together years before Josh & Matt started, it allowed us to form a very strong foundation for us to build our platform and business together. As with all relationships, we have moments we disagree, and it’s a stressful job that can take a toll. But we support one another, learn from these moments, and honestly, juggling a relationship and joint business has been a great way to continue to strengthen our relationship and love for one another.

You’ve developed quite a following on TikTok. What do fans love about your brand?

From the very start, we wanted to show our love of art, color, and design in a way that was unapologetically us and our most authentic selves — and people loved that. After a few months of posting, our platforms started to grow exponentially, and before we knew it, we had an amazing community of likeminded people who we could share our passions with and a lot of love. We have a strong focus on curating our home and collection in a sustainable way. We want to show the world the

possibilities for your home when you incorporate thrifting and upcycling. I think our audience just loves being taken along our decorating and creating journey, and we love sharing our lives with them. It feels like we share our home with the world, and we wouldn’t change anything.

What would you say to someone who is curious about incorporating more whimsy in their decor but is afraid to take that first step?

We’d say research and the internet is your friend. Everybody starts somewhere, and the way to grow is filling your mind with knowledge. We use Facebook Marketplace, Etsy, and Google, and also visit as many vintage and thrift stores as we can. By doing this you start to develop an eye for things you are drawn to and also may want to avoid. Pay attention to what you’re liking. What is its color? Shape? Texture? Material? All those things help guide your future pieces you’ll curate.

What was your first step?

Our very first colorful vintage purchase was Kartell Eros chairs in bright Lucite blue, and it did not go with anything in our apartment, but we loved them. As our interior journey continued, we slowly began to add other color and fun objects that grabbed our eye, and now there’s color everywhere. Don’t be put off by expectations in society of how your home should look. You know yourself best and what you like and how you want to use your space. So block out the noise and create a sanctuary that reflects your authentic self.

What are you working on now that you’d like our readers to know about?

Our latest project is taking up the majority of our time at the moment. We recently moved into a house, which is so surreal for us as we lived in apartments our entire relationship together, so this is a very exciting project! The house is huge, so there’s a lot more vintage finds, upcycling, art, and creating to take you all along on. One of the consequences of growing so big is our art and home decor brand was getting too large to manage on our own. But [we’re] so excited to let you know we’re working on relaunching, and there’s going to be some amazing designs coming up that we look forward to sharing with you all.

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment. (bik-TAR-vee)

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side e ects, including:

 Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.

ABOUT BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements.

BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS.

Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains:

 dofetilide

 rifampin

 any other medicines to treat HIV-1

BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY

Tell your healthcare provider if you:

 Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.

 Have any other health problems.

 Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY.

 Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take:

 Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-thecounter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

 BIKTARVY and other medicines may a ect each other. Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side e ects, including:

 Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section.

 Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY.

 Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY.

 Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.

 Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.

 The most common side e ects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%). These are not all the possible side e ects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.

HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY

Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.

GET MORE INFORMATION

 This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.

 Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5

 If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, and KEEP BEING YOU are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. Version date: February 2021 © 2022 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0008 01/22

by DANIEL REYNOLDS

Ronnie Woo’s upbringing and love for his husband are the main ingredients in his debut cookbook, Did You Eat Yet?

THE ALLAMERICAN ASIAN CHEF

Ronnie Woo had an unconventional path to becoming a chef and TV food personality. A former model, he went on to earn a master’s in marriage and family therapy and an MBA before launching a private chef company, the Delicious Cook, which prepares delicious dishes for some of Hollywood’s biggest stars.

But Woo hasn’t forgotten his roots. His new cookbook, Did You Eat Yet?: Craveable Recipes

From an All-American Asian Chef, combines flavors from his American upbringing and Asian heritage for a taste that is truly allAmerican. Just ask his husband, Doug. As Woo details, good food makes for a good relationship. And on a broader scale, it can even push back against prejudice.

What first inspired you to launch the Delicious Cook, your L.A.-based private chef company?

As cheesy as this sounds, my husband, Doug, was the inspiration behind my pursuit of food. I’ve always loved food, but for the longest time, my perspective of what constituted a career was pretty narrow. And after meeting Doug, who always encouraged me to do what made me happy, that all changed. Combined with academic exhaustion from completing two master’s degrees, plus a little thing called rent, I basically dove headfirst into starting the Delicious Cook.

Your clients include A-list stars like Gwyneth Paltrow, Mindy Kaling, Jessica Alba, Charlie Sheen — and even D-list personality Kathy Griffin. Can you share your favorite experience cooking for a celeb?

They’ve all been my favorite! Except for maybe one of them, but I won’t name names because that’s not nice — although, if you ever run into me in person, I’ll undoubtedly tell you! But if I had to choose, I would say Mindy is the most fun to cook for because she likes to eat the same things that I do, one of her favorites being my crème brûlée bread pudding.

You have an eclectic background. How did your different experiences as a model and graduate student lead to and inform your role as a chef?

It’s definitely been an unexpected hodgepodge of education and experiences that have led to my career in food. The [master’s in marriage and family

RONNIE WOO (HAWAIIAN CHICKEN VERMICELLI BUN BOWL); DOUG MACBEAN (BOOK COVER)

OVER THE YEARS, I’VE COME TO REALIZE THAT BOTH MY AMERICAN UPBRINGING AND MY ASIAN HERITAGE ARE EXACTLY WHAT MAKE ME ALL-AMERICAN.

— RONNIE WOO

therapy] has taught me to really listen to my clients — and people, just in general. And the MBA has obviously helped with my business acumen, which is crucial to running a people-oriented hospitality brand.

Funny enough, my modeling career might have given me the most surprising lesson of all, which is that eating is one of life’s greatest pleasures, and I shouldn’t be in an industry that deprives me of joy, which in this case is delicious food. When I was modeling, I would refrain from eating my favorite things just so I could fit into sample sizes, and it was pure torture. I remember this one time I booked a big job, but after the fitting, my agent called and told me the brand said I looked “full” in my pants and was dropping me from the campaign. I just laughed, because I was the skinniest I had ever been. [I] immediately bought two 4x4 [burgers] and a shake from In-NOut, went home, and stuffed my face until I passed out from a food coma. From that moment on, I said, “Fuck it, I don’t want a career in something that’s not going to make me happy, and I’m going to eat whatever the hell I want!”

You’re a luminary yourself. Recently, you were a celebrity judge on Netflix’s Is it Cake?, and your TV guest appearance credits include the Today show and Rachael Ray. What’s your dream goal in the sphere of entertainment?

Honestly, I’d love to keep on doing television and writing books, maybe even have a cute cookware [line] one day — just putting that out there! Sometimes, we get so lost in trying to create these big dreams that we forget we might already be living them. In the sphere of entertainment, it is rarely ever overnight success; therefore it’s important to look at your achievements — big or small — and really appreciate them as a whole. That’s not to say you should get complacent, but maybe not live under the idea that you will only be happy once you reach the next milestone, because that’s a false promise. And when it comes to a possibility model, that’s an easy one — it’s my good friend and living legend, Rachael Ray. She has this amazing balance of career and marriage. She manages to stay down-to-earth while also being the baddest bitch out there!

The full title of your new book is Did You Eat Yet?: Craveable Recipes From an All-American Asian Chef. Gastronomically and politically, can you unpack what it means to be an all-American Asian chef and how that influences the food you prepare? Ultimately, I really just want to redefine what it means to be all-American. America is a country of great diversity, rich cultures, and, let’s be honest, is built on the backs of immigrants. The definition of all-American is much more than just what you see in an antiquated Abercrombie ad, and it’s really important to recognize that. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that both my American upbringing and my Asian heritage are exactly what make me all-American. In the food space, I always felt the need to fit into a box, but I soon realized that I just needed to make food that felt authentic to me and tasted scrumdiddlyumptious — that’s

all that really matters. Some might say my recipes are “Asian-influenced” or maybe even “American-influenced,” but in actuality, they are a culmination of both plus all my other culinary and travel experiences.

Beyond sharing tasty recipes, how do you hope to shift the cultural conversation as a gay Asian American with a platform in media and food?

There are so many layers to unpack in this question alone, but without writing a 10-page essay, I’ll try my best to answer this in two parts. First, there is the subject of self-identity and how the intåersectionality of being gay, Asian, and American can have immensely negative effects on how we view ourselves and who we are as individuals. It’s already confusing to be any one of those identities, let alone all of them at once! Second, there is the subject of self-worth and representation. The AAPI community in general is already marginalized, but on top of that, throw in being LGBTQ+ and, more often than not, it feels like we are at the very bottom...even within the LGBTQ+ community. All of this perpetuates the idea that we are invisible and “less than,” which has detrimental repercussions on our mental health. My hope is that the conversation continues to shift toward shining a positive light on the AAPI LGBTQ+ community, tearing down the stigma around taking care of our mental health, and reminding everyone that gay Asian Americans are fucking awesome — and don’t you forget it.

The book title is also a quotation often repeated by your mom in your childhood, “Did you eat yet?” Why is that phrase significant to you, then and now?

Growing up, my parents were never big on verbal expressions of love, so when my mom asked if I had eaten yet, it was her way of telling me she loved me and wanted to take care of me. To their credit, my folks have become better at saying “I love you” as we’ve gotten older. In a weird way though, when my mom asks, “Did you eat yet?” it almost has more weight than saying “I love you” because it takes a lot of effort to prepare food and feed someone.

What

is the power of cooking to nurture romantic relationships?

My 15-year relationship to Doug started out as a simple dinner and continues to grow thanks to our mutual love of food. I cook for him almost daily — it’s my way of taking care of him — and making him dependent on me so he won’t want to leave me…just kidding, sort of. There are so many factors that come into play for a healthy relationship to have longevity, such as being a good listener and sexual chemistry, but being able to make yummy food from scratch for your partner already puts you a step ahead. I will say one thing — if you go on a date with someone who doesn’t love food, run as fast as you can because that’s the biggest red flag that ever existed!

Tell us a story of how a dish brought you and your partner closer together. Let me tell you about a dish that we call “ASS.” And no, I’m not referring to my booty cheeks. I’m talking about something I made that we nicknamed Awfully Shitty Salmon. It was actually the very first meal that I ever cooked for Doug, and at the time, I thought a certain combo of herbs and spices would really amp up the flavor. But instead, it did the exact opposite. Whatever it was that I put on our plates tasted so hideously disgusting that after just one bite, we both spat it out, looked at each other, and just laughed our tits off! Probably not the answer you were expecting, but it’s something that we laugh about to this day. For the record, I’m an exponentially better cook now!

What do you hope is your takeaway for readers of Did You Eat Yet?

My goal with Did You Eat Yet? has always been crystal clear from the very start — delicious food, laughter, and a sense of joy. If everyone gets at least two out of those three, I’ll be super happy.

Speaking of, what did you eat today?

A soft-boiled egg, a medium-ripe banana, and a bowl of minced beef and rice — it’s a recipe from the book, actually. I also had some crispy hot wings from Popeyes. What? They’re only back for a limited time!

photographer DOUG MACBEAN stylist KEVIN MERCER groomer LISA HENNINGS

Learn even more about Ronnie Woo, the Delicious Cook, and his cookbook Did You Eat Yet? — available now at Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Amazon, and more — at RonnieWoo.com.

(BUTTER SHRIMP BRIOCHE ROLLS)

by nick wolny

Here in Los Angeles, I can barely walk down the street without tripping over someone’s side hustle. Selfie-snapping influencers. Freelance photographers. Sign flippers. That girl who sells crystals at a card table near the entrance to Runyon Canyon. Everyone has at least one side gig in the City of Angels these days, if not more.

In this economy, however, you certainly can’t fault people for trying. Cost of living spikes persist, and with the American worker’s median income parking at just over $54,000 last year, it’s going to take more than thoughts and prayers to afford that $7 carton of eggs. A side hustle or outside venture might be your best next step.

The financial challenges of today are amplified for queer people. LGBTQ+ adults are 51 percent more likely to have federal student loans than their nonqueer counterparts, according to research from the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles. And two-thirds of queer Americans “carry a high amount of financial stress,” per a survey from the Motley Fool in partnership with Debt Free Guys. Not cute.

I get it — personal finance isn’t that much fun to talk about unless you have extra money sitting around to begin with. That’s why, for many of us, the better use of our time and willpower is to explore creating a new stream of income rather than tightening our budget to the point that our quality of life takes a dive. Four in 10 Americans now have a side hustle, according to a report from Zapier, a marketing automation company.

If you want to bring in extra cash this year, here are five ideas to consider.

1. OFFER A SERVICE

Any time you’re trading dollars for hours, you’re offering a service.

In some cases, the easiest foray into being a service provider is to offer a skill you already use at your day job. This could include things like consulting, graphic design, or administrative help. Be sure you have the green light from your employer to offer outside services — you’ll need to confirm there’s no conflict of interest to stay in the clear. Look into an online platform like Fiverr, Upwork, or LinkedIn Services Marketplace to showcase your skills and get matched with people who are actively looking to hire help.

When you’re ready to go all in, set up your own website or social channels, then start jumping up and down about what you do — even if things are a little messy at first. “I definitely encourage new creators to build in public and let people know you’re starting out,” says Daniella Flores, founder of I Like to Dabble, a side hustle resources platform for LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent folks. “Yeah, it’s a little uncomfortable, but people like seeing the real stuff anyway — they don’t want to see a perfectly curated profile. They want to see the messy process of everything.”

2. CREATE A PRODUCT

If you’re crafty, consider creating and selling your own product. This strategy takes longer to monetize than others, since you need to produce a product prototype and some initial inventory to get things up and running. It’s also a chance for you to explore products that are a reflection of who you truly are.

“We see a lot of people starting their own businesses so that they can be their best and most authentic self,” says Chris Davidson, head of Growth Lab, a start-up accelerator for LGBTQ+ founders. Growth Lab is facilitated by the nonprofit organization StartOut, which has built a free online community of over 25,000 queer people and allies since its inception in 2009. “What we like to say is that, if you show up authentically, and you have love and support behind you, you can do amazing things.”

Create or promote a product you’re actually passionate about to keep your fire burning bright. Platforms like Etsy and Amazon will let you sell online, whereas offline promotion might look like jumping in on local farmer’s markets, arts and crafts fairs, or wholesale distribution to local retailers.

3. MONETIZE AN AUDIENCE

This is certainly the sexiest idea of the bunch. Remember that size doesn’t always matter — it’s what you can do with it. (Or so I’ve been assured.)

In our modern digital world, attention is a currency, and there are several ways to monetize it. You could promote your

Need extra cash? Here are five ways to make moolah after your day job

favorite products and take a commission on the referrals using affiliate links. You could pitch companies and brands for paid partnerships. If you’re shy about selling but are getting all the eyeballs, look into running display ads on your channels to generate passive income.

Companies and influencer marketing agencies agree: Engagement is more valuable than size these days. Many sponsors now prioritize “nano-influencers,” accounts with highly engaged followings of 100 to 10,000 users. Prospective sponsors and brand partners want to see what you can do from a content creation perspective. Use a platform like TikTok or YouTube as your portfolio, and you’ll be more convincing when trying to land brand deals big and small.

You can even get paid to have good taste. If you cultivate a popular playlist on Spotify, platforms like SubmitHub and Playlist Push will pay you to listen to their artists’ songs and consider adding them to your mix for more airtime. The latter pays up to $15 per song review.

Building an audience takes time — stay the course.

4. EXPLORE RESELLING

“Retail arbitrage” is a fancy-ass phrase for buying something at one price, then selling it at a markup and pocketing the profit. The resale economy is bigger than you think, and it is fashion’s fastest-growing sector. It’s estimated that secondhand clothing, currently 25 percent of the average American’s closet, will expand to 27 percent in coming years. If you’re a sleuth in secondhand shops, consider purchasing items locally, then reselling them at a markup on Poshmark or eBay. Also consider doing some spring cleaning if you want to have a few extra bucks in time for summer. Gently used gear in your home might go for a pretty penny in a Facebook group or on Craigslist.

5. SUBLET AN ASSET

Do all of these sound like, well, a whole lot of work? If you’re short on time, but have assets sitting around, you might be able to use them to make extra money.

When we hear “sublet,” we often think of real estate, but the term can also apply to other forms of property. An entire crop of “Airbnb for X” startups have emerged in recent years; you can rent out your pool (Swimply), your car (Turo and HyreCar), and yes, even your bicycle (Spinlister). You need assets in the first place for this strategy to work, but if you have them — and not much time to spare — leasing them on demand can be a way to drum up extra cash.

BE FINANCIALLY FABULOUS

Making your money work isn’t just about numbers — it’s also about ensuring you have freedom and career options if things begin to go sideways.

“One of the most important aspects of financial well-being is the ability to show up as yourself, to not feel like you have to pretend to be someone you’re not,” says Davidson. “Then you can really focus all of your energy on making money and becoming more financially independent versus trying to fit in.”

Starting a side hustle can feel scary at first. Challenge yourself to start before you’re ready, and your efforts will pay dividends for years to come.

Nick Wolny is a journalist, speaker, and entrepreneur. He focuses on the intersection of LGBTQ+ life and personal finance, and has previously contributed to Fast Company, Business Insider, and Entrepreneur magazine. Join his newsletter at NickWolny.com.

by MEY RUDE

MICHELLE THE BARBARIAN

In Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, Michelle Rodriguez rocks armpit hair and continues her reign as Hollywood’s hottest bisexual badass

Dungeons & Dragons is all about stepping into fantasy and becoming a dream version of oneself. And watching Michelle Rodriguez as Holga, a barbarian, in the new movie Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves? That’s exactly the experience.

Transporting characters from the eponymous fantasy roleplaying game, Honor Among Thieves, out March 31, also stars Chris Pine as a bard, Regé-Jean Page as a paladin, Justice Smith as a sorcerer, Sophia Lillis as a druid, and Hugh Grant as a rogue. Each actor gets to revel in the tropes of their class, bringing these beloved D&D archetypes to life with hilarity and heart.

For Rodriguez — who played the game for “a good threeyear stint” until she “discovered boys and girls” in high school, the bisexual action star attests — returning to the world of D&D and playing Holga was indeed a dream come true. However, Rodriguez personally would have chosen a druid character for gameplay. “I’m very earthy and I like the trickster. I like the idea of magic, but I also love the idea of playing with the elements,” she says. “Maybe I’m connected to some past life or something, but I really enjoy the mystical occult, and I think the druid really hits it on the head for me.”

But the role of barbarian — known for its defensive power and rage mode in combat — also fits Rodriguez. She is already famous for her action roles. From early films like Girlfight and Blue Crush to the Fast and Furious franchise, she’s been one of Hollywood’s hottest badasses. But Honor Among Thieves was a chance to truly let loose as only a barbarian can.

Holga has “unfiltered honesty,” Rodriguez says. “It’s this kind of logical way of thinking and just blurting out exactly what it is that’s on the mind without the filter of ‘let me be aware of how this person feels receiving this information.’ There’s

none of that,” she laughs. “It’s just whatever’s logical to you at that moment is coming out [of] the mouth. So she could seem a bit harsh and rash at times, but she doesn’t mean anything bad by it, she’s just being herself.”

Rodriguez connected to Holga on a visceral level. She says that she used to have a temper growing up and had to learn to channel that anger in a productive way. “I’ve always found those characters interesting — anybody who’s violent and justifiably so, who walk as a citizen knowing that they’ve killed humans,” she says. “It’s always weird to me. But at the same time, there’s a part of me that gets it, that understands it.”

While playing Holga was a power fantasy for Rodriguez, the character will surely also be a fantasy for girls and women across the world seeking to become the heroes of their own journeys. In a world full of warriors, Holga is the toughest of the bunch: She’s strong and brave; she eats her favorite food all the time; she travels with her closest friends; and she knows what she wants and how to get it. Uniquely, she’s a rare female action character who doesn’t shave her armpits.

For Rodriguez, Holga’s body hair was something that she thought was natural for the character. In fact, she grew out her armpit hair for three months to prepare for the role, and she was ready to fight for it. “I swear to God. I literally put my case down. And I basically let the [directors] know,” Rodriguez says. “I was

like, ‘Listen, this is very important to me. I really want to keep Holga’s armpit hair.’”

“And they literally looked at each other and were cracking up inside, but they took me seriously,” she laughs. “They went to the studio and said, ‘Hey, guys, is it all right for Holga to keep her hair?’ It was a thing. I can’t believe that that’s even a discussion. I don’t know why [women] are not allowed to have armpit hair for the most part. It’s really weird. It’s very strange. I’m glad that the studio was cool about it.”

Like her warrior forebear Xena, Holga has the potential to become a lesbian icon. It’s a thought Rodriguez hadn’t considered. “I never thought [about] sex appeal at all.... For me, it was like oogachaka vibes. You know what I’m saying? It’s very barbarian, very hard-core. I never thought strutting the runway with Holga.”

But for Honor Among Thieves , embracing those who strut outside the box is the point. This isn’t some heartless adaptation. Instead, it fully embraces everything that makes Dungeons & Dragons great and nerdy, an asset Rodriguez credits to the film’s fanboy co-writers and directors, John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein.

“I think we all have our own memories built on songs and games and things that we enjoyed as children. And I think the imagination of a child is just so extraordinary that not many can keep up with it,” Rodriguez says. “So that two guys had enough respect for the brand, enough awe at playing the actual game that they would give it the kind of love that it deserves, putting it on-screen is amazing.”

Rodriguez as Holga and Chris Pine as Edgin in Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

THE FIGHT FOR PARADISE DIVING INTO PUERTO RICO’S BIO BAY CHEF

DEVONN FRANCIS GIVES A TASTE OF JAMAICA

Island adventures

THE WONDERS OF HAWAI‘I AND PUERTO RICO

Islands

The Glow of Puerto Rico

A voyage to a rare bioluminescent bay illuminates a newfound appreciation for the natural world

By Daniel Reynolds

THE SETTING SUN over the shores of La Parguera — a charming fishing village within the Lajas municipality, two hours from San Juan — was truly a sight to behold. The colors, reflected in watercolor waves, shifted with each moment. Turquoise lapped into yellow hues and fiery golds. “This is the shot,” the tour guide urged. My travel mate and I put down our snack of empanadas, hopped back onto the deck, and smiled for the camera. And voila, the perfect shot of a sunset in paradise.

However dazzling, the sunset was not the raison d’être for our evening Paradise Scuba & Snorkeling Center cruise. It was, in fact, only the inciting incident. As the sea finished its swallow of the sun, our ship steered away from port. Our destination? The bioluminescent bay, a wonder of the natural world that is part of protected land in La Parguera Nature Reserve

The Bio Bay is a rare breeding ground for billions of singlecelled organisms called dinoflagellates. (There are three bioluminescent sites located in Puerto Rico, a testament to the Caribbean island’s rich biodiversity.) Classified as a form of algae, dinoflagellates in large concentrations can alter the color of water. Some types, like a “red tide,” can be toxic, but the eco-friendly kind in the Bio Bay simply sparks dazzling blue-green light when agitated. Invisible to the eye in the daytime, the dinoflagellates create an Avatar-esque wonderland at night for living things swimming through its waters. Protected from the sea by a coral reef, the bay has a unique blend of ingredients known to have beneficial glowups for hair and skin, the tour guide claimed as we motored toward our destination.

There, on the right, were the Isla Magueyes Laboratories, facilities where marine researchers study the Bio Bay and its many mysteries. Human habitations are prohibited along the shoreline, which is considered public property. But on our left, dwellings dotted the coast, their lanterned decks lapped by

the water. The construction of these abodes either predated the advent of 21st-century property laws or its residents simply viewed corresponding fines as an acceptable cost of coastal living, explained the boat’s driver. He recalled how, after the devastation wrought by Hurricane Maria in 2017, communities were quick to repair and even improve houses before inspectors could move in.

The last lights of human habitation faded away as the boat moved deeper into the bay. Darkness is the key ingredient to bioluminescence. Too many stars, or too full of a moon, and the Bio Bay’s nighttime glow is muted. As we neared the center of the darkening body of water, the captain turned off the ship’s motor and lights. “Stay close,” he cautioned. Other tour boats floated not far from ours and might not spot a swimmer in the nighttime.

I was the first to jump in, grabbing a snorkel mask but turning down the life jacket. The saline content was high enough to make floating relatively easy. At first, I didn’t notice any change. It was the awed reactions from my boatmates that alerted me to the magic forming around me. “Make an angel,” urged our guide. Floating on my back, I moved my arms and legs like a kid in the snow. And then, I saw it, my body surrounded by light.

For the better part of an hour, my boatmates and I splashed around, watching light emanating from our hands like wizards in a CGI fantasy film. A few on our tour opted to stay on the ship. They liked to see other folks jump in, the guide explained, but weren’t comfortable with the dark water below. Anxieties over unseen sea creatures have unsettled me in the past, but I was unbothered in the Bio Bay. The experience was just plain fun. In the quiet moments, as I floated in bioluminescence and gazed skyward, I felt an emotion akin to enlightenment. There we were, organisms glowing on our planet, connecting with the celestial bodies overhead.

“Gilligan’s Island,” to check out mangrove trees and snorkel through a coral reef. Bounce on a sea trampoline just off the resort’s half-mile beach. And make sure to book a spa appointment afterward to unwind. To end the day, enjoy fine dining at Restaurante Alexandra

Hacienda Verde Tahití offers a more rustic escape on a 25-acre farm about 20 minutes from La Parguera where guests can disconnect from modern madness in cottages and glamping sites. Friendly hosts will prepare Puerto Rican home cooking and help plan adventures. Speaking of the joys of darkness, this Hacienda makes for some amazing nighttime stargazing.

You’ll likely be flying into San Juan There are many LGBTQ+ nightlife spots in P.R.’s capital. Most were sleepy when I visited on a Thursday night, but I enjoyed a lively game of pool and cheap drinks at Tia Maria’s, which is popular with locals. I checked in at nighttime to the Condado Ocean Club and my jaw dropped in the morning when I threw back the curtain and saw a window of beautiful blue ocean. The ahi tuna salad at the on-site restaurant Social was delicious, as was the duck fried rice for dinner at the nearby Caribbean Asian fusion restaurant, RAYA, helmed by local celebrity chef Mario Pagan

Where to Eat and Stay

La Jamaca, a 16-bedroom property with a very Jimmy Buffett “island vibe,” was a fitting host for our maritime adventures. Literally translating to “the hammock,” it boasts live music on Saturdays, a restaurant that serves tasty breakfast and seafood bites, and a campy outdoor bath experience where I washed off the sea in a tub complete with rose petals and sparkling wine.

For a more traditional beachside resort, try the Copamarina Beach Resort & Spa, which is tailor-made for events and weddings. Grab al fresco breakfast at Las Palmas Restaurant and then jump on a daytime boat to Cayo Aurora, dubbed

Puerto Rico Copamarina Beach Resort and Spa

Raya

The Spirit of Hawai‘i

Get to know O‘ahu and a movement for sustainable tourism by participating in Indigenous cultural experiences

By Jacob Anderson-Minshall

I’M NOT WEARING anything special, certainly not whatever stereotypical image the word “hula” might arouse; there are no grass skirts or coconut bikinis here. In this hula class we’re not swinging our hips, just moving our arms and clapping wooden batons together. As the kid who could never master rubbing their tummy while patting their head, I am failing to keep up. I won’t remember the moves in 30 seconds. But I will retain a much deeper lesson.

Tourism is Hawaiʻi’s largest industry. In 2019 it brought 10 million visitors to the islands, supporting 216,000 jobs and generating $17.75 billion (and raising $2 billion in state taxes). More than half of those visitors spent time on Oʻahu, the most visited island, overtaxing the local environment and, critics say, depleting the quality of life for residents and tourists alike. During the pandemic, locals got a taste of their islands without so many visitors and many aren’t eager to see the old model return.

“As a whole, in Hawaiʻi, we are looking for a more respectful and responsible visitor, one that comes with a deep respect for our culture and our place,” Mālia Sanders, executive director of the Native Hawaiian Hospitality Association, said in a statement to the press last year. Sanders and others in Oʻahu believe there can be a post-colonial, Indigenous-focused, ecologically sustainable form of travel that puts the land first and doesn’t ask locals to be in servitude to visitors.

The Hawaiʻi Tourism Authority has adopted the philosophy Mālama Ku‘u Home (Caring for My Beloved Home) and started

investing in community-based efforts to protect and enhance the state’s unique treasures: the beautiful beaches, towering mountains, freshwater streams; the plants, animals, and birds that live here; and the unique Hawaiian culture that evolved here. The gamble is that by fostering those resources — and creating authentic experiences around them — the islands will draw the kind of travelers willing to pay for the privilege of visiting Hawaiʻi while still respecting its traditions.

That’s where hula comes in. The traditional dance we’re learning is also a sacred story about Hawaiʻi’s birds, flowers, mountains, and seas. The practice shares ancestral Hawaiian knowledge, physically connecting dancers to a form of education that predates the written word and engages mind and body. After your hands have made the motion of Hawaiian birds and your chants evoked the fragrance of native hibiscus flowers, can you trample them when you leave? Learning the hula makes you less of a tourist and more of a guest.

We are at this moment guests of Outrigger Reef Waikiki Beach Resort ’s new Aʻo Cultural Center, part of the hotel’s recent $80 million renovations, where Luana Maitland, director of cultural events & activities, shares her cultural knowledge (and displays some of her personal collections).

Elsewhere in the hotel sits Kalele, a century-old outrigger canoe restored by the Friends of Hōkūleʻa & Hawai ʻ iloa. Guests can take in local Hawaiian music while noshing at Kani Ka Pila Grille, and artwork curated by the Bishop Museum adorns hallways and guest suites. Our suite featured portraits of Hawaiian royalty and a map of Oʻahu, which incorporated the Native Hawaiian tradition of ahupua’a, the division of land running from the top of a mountain to the sea.

That lesson is furthered the following day during a koa tree planting tour at Kualoa Ranch a 4,000-acre private nature reserve, working cattle ranch, and setting of several Jurassic Park films. During the three-hour UTV tour — which took us

deep into the Kualoa, Kaʻaʻawa, and Hakipuʻu valleys to learn about Hawaiʻi’s ecology — our guide shares that within each ahupua’a were all the resources Hawaiians needed to thrive. The tradition was essential to the sustainability of the island when Oʻahu was home to up to a million Native Hawaiians. Now the population of over 1 million (and millions of annual visitors) feels far from sustainable.

According to HTA, “The reciprocal nature of our relationship to land is that we care for our natural resources and in return the land will care for us. In this symbiotic relationship, as people dedicate time and resources to the well-being of the land, the residents and visitors of this land will thrive.”

We’re dedicating our day to planting a koa tree in the traditional Hawaiian way to be part of the regenerative travel movement; to not just avoid damaging a destination through lowimpact activities but to play a part in restoring or revitalizing it.

The native canopy tree koa is prized for its hard wood, from which Hawaiians hand-carved waʻa (canoes) and mea kaua (weapons). That durability was also present in the living koa, allowing it to withstand fierce winds and protect the undergrowth below. We choose and name our koa sapling. It is stick thin and seems fragile as I cradle it, bouncing along in the back of the UTV. By the end of the tour, we’ve given it a good start at rooting in its new home in the shadow of a zipline course. Our tree, the first in this new initiative, will become part of a hardwood forest that will displace the zipline.

On our tour of the valleys, our guide explains the difference between native, invasive, and canoe species. Many of the natives are endemic and not found anywhere else, and the canoe plants were brought by Polynesians when they first came to the islands around 1090 A.D. Invasives came post-Western contact in 1778 and have contributed to the endangerment of many native species.

Later Haʻaheo Zablan, general manager at Kaimana Beach Hotel and a member of the LGBTQ+ community, reiterates what our guide told us: one of the canoe plants is particularly

important. “It’s literally a root of our culture and our people,” Zablan explains. Kalo (taro), the root of which is pounded and eaten as poi, was a traditional diet staple and cultivated across the islands.

The closeness of the relationship between Hawaiians and the kalo plant is exemplified by its origin story. It is said that kalo first sprouted from the spot where a stillborn child of the gods was buried. That child’s younger brother, Hāloa, fathered the Hawaiian people, who were taught of their familial obligation to care for their sibling.

Stories like these help establish the relationships and obligations Hawaiian people have to each other as well as to the land. These relationships are like webbed fishing nets that tie everything together. We are all connected and dependent upon one another for survival.

Zablan says relationships make it easier to navigate difficult conversations. And there are difficult conversations being had. This February, two bills were introduced in the state legislature that would effectively eliminate the Hawaiʻi Tourism Authority and turn management of the industry over to those eager to see the number of tourists grow ever higher in the coming years. The soul of Oʻahu is at stake.

When in Waikiki

In addition to the hands-on experiences to be found at many hotels, you can learn more about Hawaiian natural and cultural history at the Bishop Museum and take the Chamberlain’s Tour at Iolani Palace, the only royal palace on U.S. soil. To continue your regenerative travel, pick up a DIY Beach Cleanup Kit from Sustainable Coastlines Hawaiʻi so you can mālama (care for) the ʻāina (land).

Where to Eat

Liliha Bakery Try the many flavored malasadas, a Portuguese filled doughnut. Piko Kitchen + Bar Shared plates of delicious bao buns, poke, and garlic noodles. Fête Chef Robynne Maii is the first woman of Native Hawaiian ancestry to receive a James Beard Award for best chef.

Highway Inn Generations have grown up eating this casual diner’s laulau, handwrapped the same way for 70 years.

LGBTQ+ Bars

Bacchus Waikiki A laid-back gay bar with regular trivia and DJ nights.

Hideout at the Laylow A vibrant vibe with Modern Hapa Hawaiian cuisine. Hula’s Bar & Lei Stand Award-winning food at the Waikiki Grand Hotel overlooking Queen’s Beach. —JAM

Kualoa Ranch’s 900-year-old fish ponds

Kualoa Ranch’s Ka’a’awa Valley

JACOB ANDERSON-MINSHALL PONDS) ; WARREN ISHII/ GETTY IMAGES (VALLEY); COURTESY HAWAII TOURISM AUTHORITY (SURFERS)

Taking Back Paradise

How Indigenous LGBTQ+ islanders are reclaiming their homelands

By Jacob Anderson-Minshall Photography by Yuki Kihara

THERE ARE FEW artists who’ve shaped Westerners’ visions of the island paradise as much as the Postimpressionist French painter Paul Gauguin, who spent time in Tahiti and other locations in French Polynesia more than a century ago. And yet Gauguin was himself seduced by the romantic idea of the island Eden presented through Western cultural works like 1719’s Robinson Crusoe

One of the first British novels ever published, Crusoe is, essentially a story of colonization — as Elif Batuman notes in a recent issue of The New Yorker — focusing on an Englishman exploiting the natural and human resources of an island. Batuman points to Edward Said’s 1993 book of essays, Culture and Imperialism, to suggest the novel — as a format of literature — is inherently and symbiotically bound to imperialism.

Tourism probably holds a similar symbiosis with colonialization, historically bringing Europeans to island communities and developing nations. Many of these are still being exploited for their resources, even if those resources are now sometimes intangible.

In “Constructing Paradise in the Western Imagination: Reflections on Colonial Legacies and Developing Nations’ Tourist Industries,” Jamaican

artist and scholar Oneika Russell writes, “One could argue that without paradise, tourists might not be able to bear the burdens associated with its own manmade systems and structural socioeconomic and political problems.”

Having long ago stripped their own lands of resources, most empires can only be sustained by exploiting those of others. Today one of those resources may be the replenishing effect that travel can provide.

As a visual artist, Russell writes elsewhere, “My work often investigates the trope of the fetishized and mythologized native within the paradigm of ‘paradise’ and tourism industries.” In “Constructing Paradise,” Russell describes her series “After Gauguin” as an examination of the connection between “exoticism and the colonial, Western and European fascination with places like Tahiti and Jamaica.”

And yet Russell acknowledges, “When he arrived in Tahiti, [Gauguin] was disappointed. It was too colonized and settled. It was not quite the primitive land of his dreams.”

The Polynesian islands Gauguin visited and the subjects he painted were also not quite what consumers of his paintings wanted to see. They were too multidimensional and too queer. So

Gauguin subtly painted those parts out of the picture — but he couldn’t entirely erase the queerness of his inspiration.

In turn, the French painter inspired Sāmoan-Japanese artist Yuki Kihara’s own “After Gauguin” series, presented in the critically acclaimed “Paradise Camp” exhibit at 2022’s Venice Biennale. Kihara told Cristina Verán of Cultural Survival Quarterly that when she first saw Gauguin’s paintings, “I recalled an essay written by [Māori] Professor Emerita Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, which discussed the models of Gauguin paintings as being māhū , the Tahitian third gender.”

Kihara herself identifies as fa’afafine, which translates to “in the manner of a woman” and describes Sāmoa’s third gender. She said Gauguin’s “figures reminded me of my fa’afafine friends, as the landscapes also reminded me of home. I would later discover that Gauguin had actually used photographs of people and places in Sāmoa as inspiration.”

Those figures would also feel familiar to many Hawaiians. DeSoto Brown, historian at O ‘ahu’s Bishop Museum, recently curated an exhibit sharing the story of four powerful trans healers who traveled from Tahiti to Hawai ‘ i around

the 1500s. Brown explains that “there was a period in Hawaiian history where there was actually regular visitation between Tahiti and Hawaiʻi. And this is not a small thing to do.”

The two Polynesian island nations are roughly 2,630 miles apart. (That’s even farther than Hawaiʻi is from California, which is 2,470 miles away.)

“It’s an arduous journey,” Brown says, especially when made in a double-hulled Polynesian voyaging canoe before the invention of navigating equipment.

The visitors from Tahiti “are said to have been māhū,” Brown continues. “They were transgendered.” Before these dual male and female spirits left the islands they imbued their powers into four monoliths, which stood on the shores of Oʻahu for generations until colonizers buried them. Today, the recovered healer stones are located along one of the busiest stretches of Waikiki Beach, but few know their stories. The 2021 animated short film The Healer Stones of Kapaemahu hoped to change that. It did spark the subsequent museum exhibit (reviewed on page 34.)

In “Paradise Camp,” Kihara wanted to tell the stories of Sāmoans and reclaim her island from Gauguin’s distortions. “In order to disrupt Gauguin’s heteronormative view of paradise,” she explained, “I chose to deploy an exaggerated, camp aesthetic, showing paradise instead from a fa’afafine perspective. This re-directing of his paintings toward their original inspiration became a process of reclaiming the narrative.”

One of her photographs, Fonofono o le nuanua: Patches of the rainbow, features a group of fa’afafine posing riverside. The models are members of the Aleipata Fa’afafine Association, who were also first responders in the devastating aftermath of the 2009 tsunami. Choosing them for the project reiterates the way the (queer) people living in paradise have less luxurious lives than tourism marketing might suggest.

Indeed, the lives of LGBTQ+ residents of color are often starkly divergent from the experiences of queer travelers. In a 2022 roundtable discussion, “Black, Queer & Trans: Mobilizing in the Caribbean and Beyond,” hosted by the Barnard Center for Research on Women, Jamaican trans women Kymm Foster from TransWaveJA and Emani Edwards of Connek JA joined Chaday Emmanuel of Connek JA to speak about facing poverty and discrimination. Despite hailing from a vacation destination, Foster is “never at liberty to just rest” and said, “We don’t know what vacation is.” Emmanuel added she wasn’t even allowed into

entertainment spaces in Jamaica because of “how I dressed.”

Other island natives share similar stories of living in poverty in paradise. Drag performer Ana Macho told Global Press Journal her original song “Blin Blin” is “about the paradise that Puerto Rico is, but the one who lives here can’t live it.” The native Puerto Rican identifies as nonbinary and is among the queer musicians finding their voices in reggaeton. “It’s a genre of music that’s tightly tied to irreverence,” Macho explained. “And that attracts many oppressed bodies: feminine bodies, queer bodies.”

Oppression can be exhausting, but it can also spark creativity. Jamaica’s multitalented entrepreneur Emmanuel responded to the exclusion she faced at clubs and parties by launching her own inclusive spaces, including Jamsterdam, Tribe876, and Tribe Tours. Now Connek JA organizes events, media, and travel experiences that bring together queer family and allies across borders.

DeVonn Francis, a gay Jamaican American (profiled on page 36), says Connek creates travel opportunities for queer Caribbean people living in the U.S. to visit the islands. “So that people who are within the diaspora can go back to Jamaica, create these networks so that people have their own channels of resources, and connect in the way that they want to versus that being dictated to them.”

“It belongs to us,” Foster said in the roundtable. She was talking about trans creative talent, but she could have just as easily been speaking about the island itself. “We are owed when you take it.”

Three Fa’afafine (“After Gauguin”)

Fonofono o le Nuanua: Patches of the rainbow (“After Gauguin”)

The Healing Powers of Honolulu

A beautiful exhibit gives context and profundity to O‘ahu’s joyful Pride celebration

By Neal Broverman

Experiencing Honolulu Pride is sublime: the sweeping Pacific views and myriad food options at the Prince Waikiki Hotel, the comforting humid air, the perfectly temperate ocean water, and the welcoming faces at the Pride festival and local gay bar Bacchus Waikiki. But the pinnacle experience of the queer aloha spirit last October wasn’t found on the parade route, at after-parties, or even on Queen’s Beach. Instead it was found at the 134-year-old Bishop Museum, where I was lucky enough to catch the incredible exhibit, “The Healer Stones of Kapaemahu,” on its closing day, which coincided with Pride’s start.

A thoughtful exploration and appreciation for the islands’ long history of gender diversity, the “Healer Stones” shared the story of how a centuries-old simulacrum devoted to the queer spirit was buried (literally and figuratively) and only recently uncovered. Centuries ago, four large stones were placed on Waikīkī Beach to honor four māhū, “extraordinary individuals of male and female spirit,” who brought their healing powers to Oʻahu from Tahiti.

Legend has it that these four healers, who lived between what was traditionally expected of males and females, transferred their curative energy to the stones before departing. Development of 20th-century Honolulu left the stones buried under, of all things, a bowling alley. Finally, when the stones were restored and memorialized in the 1960s, their queer history was excised. “The Healer Stones of Kapemahu” righted that wrong with artifacts, animation, and digital depictions of figures once lost to time.

In addition, the exhibit displayed vibrant reminders of Honolulu’s long history as a queer haven in the vast Pacific.

p Bishop Museum Kapaemahu 3D Artistic Four Pokahu

Pictures and artifacts told the stories of drag and trans artists who captivated audiences until Honolulu’s Westernized government of the 1960s criminalized these performers, insisting they wear “I Am a Boy” pins while walking through the Waikīkī district.

“It made us feel so degraded,” says Brandy Lee, a wellknown entertainer from that era who performed at the Glade nightclub. “The word māhū was like a curse. It was the worst thing you could call somebody.”

The Bishop’s curators and researchers opened my eyes, and those of many others, to the rich history of LGBTQ+ Oʻahu, Hawaiʻi, and Polynesia, and how it was perverted by Western powers.

After seeing every nook and cranny of the exhibit, I met up with two friends, and we explored the rest of the Bishop’s expansive campus on the north side of Honolulu, learning more about the history of Hawaiʻi — from its grand royal lineage to the horrors of colonization to its current iteration as a modern American paradise.

The next day, I marched in the Pride parade as a guest of Hawaiian Airlines. After being locked out of live events for the better part of three years, the parade — winding through Waikīkī’s lively tourist district — and festival, held at the end of the parade’s route at sprawling Kapi’olani Regional Park, was a communal catharsis. Personally, being part of Honolulu Pride held special resonance after understanding how past queer generations struggled for acceptance and respect. Mahalo, queer Oʻahu, for letting me celebrate with you.

THE GOLDEN AGE OF TRAVEL IS BACK

IN THE PALM BEACHES

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Let’s Dish

Chef DeVonn Francis is cooking up opportunities for queer Jamaicans

By Jacob Anderson-Minshall

EVERY TIME YOU travel you can’t help but take a bit of that place with you — and leave a little something behind. All those invisible strings connect our hearts to a place even after we’ve gone.

Born in Virginia to immigrant parents from Jamaica, DeVonn Francis — a 30-yearold gay culinary artist, advocate, event producer, and New Yorker — has deep roots on the Caribbean island his parents left.

One of the most transportable cultural elements of a place is its cuisine. As long as you have the recipes and access to the ingredients, you can share a bit of your homeland with those who’ve never been. That’s what Francis’s parents did for him. His father ran a Jamaican restaurant, and Francis and his mother cooked together at home. “So it’s always been a part of my life,” Francis says.

In New York City he found the Caribbean diaspora, which opened doors for him to go deeper into his heritage. “I was able to trace not only flavors of ingredients, but also stories around ingredients and [understand] how people came to be in certain places,” he recalls.

A trailblazer at heart, Francis didn’t just chart his own path back to the islands. He wanted to make space for his community to find passage as well. “So I feel really excited about what we’re doing with Yardy World,” Francis explains about his culinary event company. “I wanted to be able to really create a template or a road map for other queer Caribbean people…retracing their roots and tracing their heritage.”

While food itself is one ingredient in that recipe, so are “the stories and traditions that are typically passed down” when people cook or eat together. “The ways in which you invite people to come together kind of like family at the dinner table makes me feel a little bit more empowered to really learn about myself and to take my own history into my own hands,” he muses.

The activist sees Yardy and the events it produces — managing everything from food to florals — as growing a larger network of people with similar values and goals. “The reason why we were doing dinner parties or having events or making videos or content related to Jamaica or related to immigrant experiences, is because we’re basically signaling to other people, ‘Do you relate to this? And if so, how can we coalition build together?’”

In 2023 Francis is creating more culinary experiences and the discussions they inspire by “having our favorite artists collaborate on our menus, music, table direction, and creating food that reflects some of the new menu items I’ve been developing, which is largely inspired by my recent trip to Jamaica with my family. There are dishes like cassava pudding baked in banana leaves with a pistachio crust, slow-poached snapper, mussels with annatto and crab butter; it should always be decadent.”

Referencing Black lesbian poet Audre Lorde’s essay “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power,” Francis argues pleasure is power, and “we all have the right to find and seek out pleasure and being able to do that makes you feel good and

connected to where you are.” He wants to empower others to make those choices and to foster food sovereignty, which he defines as “your rights to decide and determine what your own relationship to food is, to eating well, to having a connection to your health.”

In addition, Francis says, food sovereignty involves “figuring out ways to create pathways, not just to get food to people, but to teach people how to access the resources for themselves.”

Last year Francis launched a digital platform Yardy.World to “make Yardy World accessible to people who love our work but don’t live in New York,” Francis explains, “If we’re just creating events for people who can get to New York then we’re leaving a lot of people out of our growing family, and that feels like a huge loss to me.”

As that family grows, Francis’s goal is to create job opportunities for historically marginalized communities like queer BIPOC folks. “How we do that [at Yardy World] is by creating products with ingredients and materials that can be sourced from regions and communities we support, pulling them into the supply chain and circulating revenue back to them — back to the island and the diaspora across the world.”

It’s time to revisit visiting Jamaica, says DeVonn Francis: “Groups like Connek JA and Ragga NYC have taught me so much about queer Caribbean liberation. Queerness in the Caribbean isn’t a new phenomenon, and safety is a global issue. The press makes it seem like Jamaica is solely homophobic, and that thought process erases the hard work that so many LGBTQ+ groups have done over many years to support our queer brothers and sisters. We’re all looking for liberation, and the more you travel — that is to say, the more you meet people where they are — the more you can see how similar your desires and frustrations might be to queer communities living outside of your region.”

p YW Snack Mix

t Chef DeVonn Francis

With its everchanging assortment of artists, musicians, pirates and performers, and endless array of activities and accommodations, Key West has always been a welcome escape from the rest of the world. And while the island is only 7 square miles, somehow everyone fi ts in perfectly.

fla-keys.com/gaykeywest 305.294.4603

For all walks of life.

by MARCO MEDRANO

THE ART OF ATTRACTION

Date night? Become irresistible with products to shave, cleanse, and scent your body

This story started as a couture fragrance piece that morphed into identifying the steps that help achieve your peak allure as you head out the door for a night on the town. I know I’m much more high-maintenance than those people who simply spritz a favorite parfum on their wrists. My very dear — some may describe him as “butch” — friend would never leave the house without running a scented roll-on over the crack of his butt. So whether you’re dating, single, married, or somewhere in between (hello, “it’s complicated” friends), consider this a lighter reset button that goes beyond spring cleaning. Here's how to get to a refreshed you.

We all want to trim down body hair without nicking the all-important parts. Shaped just for manscaping, Meridian offers the Trimmer Plus using safe, ceramic blades and guards with three style modes: Bare, Buzz, or Bush from 3mm, 3 to 6mm, or 6 to 9mm, with another built-in dial range from 0 to 10mm ($89). The Up-Here Trimmer is a rechargeable ear/nose hair device ($42). MeridianGrooming.com

These products and services should give you dating prep ideas and may be swapped out to suit your needs and budget. Please note, there are many ways to boost your confidence without having to lose 25 pounds, implant a new hairline, or develop major biceps to be noticed. Feeling your best is always the name of the game. Confidence in your appearance, knowing your best assets, and not freaking out about imperfections you can’t change are key. Besides, trying is winning and very attractive in and of itself. Let’s do this.

BODY

I love my handheld LED devices and red-light therapy body machine. But with DRx SpectraLite EyeCare Pro, you can wear them like giant sunglasses and multitask, within reason. Rebuild collagen and reduce crow’s feet, wrinkles, and “number 11s” by using it just three minutes a day ($169). Visit the LED section. DrDennisGross.com

Bink. Bink. Thick, full eyelashes are s-e-x-y. Get the party started with GrandeLASH-MD Lash Enhancing Serum ($36-$125) and GrandeBROW Enhancing Serum ($73-$125). GrandeCosmetics.com

Famed Augustinus Bader safely combines the Eyebrow and Lash Enhancing Serum in one formula with a great applicator ($150) AugustinusBader.com

Tip: Use reputable retailers and flush eyes every morning.

Body cleanser scents aren’t meant just to attract — they should be part of your feelgood regimen every day.

Big Sir Body & Hair Cleanser : Bergamot, marine, and woody amber notes create a refreshing, rugged Pacific Coast shower experience ($12-$52). Blue Midnight Body & Hair Cleanser is downright erotic in black pepper and lavender ($52) GetJackBlack.com

Droplette is engineered to micro-infuse various treatment vapors deeper into your skin. One-use capsules contain retinols, glycolic illuminators, natural hydro fillers, and more using the same device. Start puckering those duck lips for its 17-Volt Lip Plumper Set (vegan + 7-free) that lasts up to six hours using collagen and hyaluronic acid without chemicals or injections ($299 + $40/$60). Droplette.io

For a beautiful body scrub, try OSEA Malibu’s Total Body Glow Trio ($98), using the Plant-based Body Brush as a dry brush massage for circulation and exfoliation without the mess. Optionally followed by Salts of the Earth Scrub (shea butter, wild Gigartina seaweed) and Undaria Algae Body Oil. OseaMalibu.com

DR. DENNIS GROSS; JACK BLACK; DROPLETTE

If you’re not a skin care aficionado (yet), at least know how to activate and when to tighten things up. Tea Elixir Skin Resilience Activating Serum checks a lot of boxes ($80-$110) Black Tea Firming Corset Cream with peptides will help hold your face and neck up high ($75$105). #truth Fresh.com

FRAGRANCE

Now that we’ve mastered some of grooming’s maintenance-life skills, we can accentuate our good work with some magnetism and allure — using colognes and parfums that make you irresistible and empowered.

Tom Ford fragrances never disappoint. I mean, it’s Tom Ford, people. Beyond the hype and amazing marketing, these latest offerings really do smell like money, power, and smoldering sex. The Private Blend series includes the supreme Eau de Parfum Cherry Collection: Electric Cherry, Lost Cherry, and Cherry Smoke. They capture you as an elegant surprise ($80-$550). TomFord.com

D by Diesel asserts that it “unites today’s generation and shares its values” with this genderless, sustainable, suggestive fragrance. Spicy ginger, musky lavender, and cotton-like airiness of the denim accord evolves with your natural scent ($49-$92). Macys.com or Amazon.com

“The Gift of Kings” tagline isn’t a suggestion. The house of Amouage, while founded in the Sultanate of Oman in 1983, has been the epitome of Arabian perfumery formulas seemingly forever. Its Library Collection is masculine decadence: Opus VII Reckless Leather, Opus V Woods Symphony, Opus XIV Royal Tobacco, Opus XII Rose Incense and Opus XIII Silver Oud (Discovery Set $60; or $360-$500) Amouage.com

Altaia based this lavish, deep scent on a love story a century and a half in the making. Any Day Now is carefully crafted as though love is just around the corner with the perfect artisanal ingredients ($230) BeautyHabit.com

I find D.S. & Durga to be deluxe, very edgy, and chic. Add leather to anything with Leatherize as your primary parfum or as an “additional enhancer” (truly groundbreaking). Burning Barbershop? Knocked. My. Socks. Off. Like a naked man’s man smothered in shave foam (ea. $190$280). DSandDurga.com

While Louis XV spent most of his reign at the Château de Versailles, Marly is where the “perfumed court” went to have intimate fun and has a direct association with this exquisite perfumery. Haltane lingers like a billion (pretax) dollars ($395)

us.Parfums-de-Marly.com

Bleu de Chanel cleverly uses cedar and New Caledonian sandalwood to create an aromatic, woody accord, leaving a luxe, hypnotizing trail ($130$200). Chanel.com

Francis Kurkdjian’s Masculin Pluriel is sophisticated leather, Provence lavender, and Virginia cedar, with subtle patchouli and Haitian vetiver. Tough and sensual meets black tie. Bottles can even be personalized (nice touch) ($225) Bloomingdales.com.

Keep that stay-over mood going with Turndown Service. A sparkling, crisp, effervescent citrus infused into handsome dispensers for the hands. Available in wash, lotion, cream, and rinse-free wash ($28$58) EndSeen.com

Short on outlets? Try Move Essential Oil Diffuser ($199). It’s a cordless diffuser with ambient lighting and amazing scent options like Pacific, Breathe, and Grassland ($28 ea.). The Home Revival Kit packs three air freshening sprays: calming Warm Linen, fresh Cold Plunge, and crisp Urban Garden ($35) Vitruvi.com

HOME FRAGRANCE

I’m a big fan of clearing negative energy from a room, before and after. Eucalyptus & White Sage home fragrance collection offers a safe, elegant way to give a welcome vibe to all visitors. With candles, reed diffusers, hand wash, and lotions, it has proprietary ingredients to provide a phthalate-, paraben-, and sulfate-free wax experience. The Cordless Ultrasonic Fragrance Oil Diffuser ($115) has a handful of luxe oils ($24) like Sparkling Cuvée. Voluspa.com

Maison Francis Kurkdjian extends its extravagant fragrance Aqua Universalis to our laundry and linens. Now, if this doesn’t make for a memorable date night or personal night in, what does? Scented Laundry Detergent for Bright Colors, for Dark Colors, and Fabric Softener ($45 ea.) FrancisKurkdjian.com

COURTESY MAISON FRANCIS KURKDJIAN ; VOLUSPA;VITRUVI; ENDSEEN; MAISON FRANCIS KURKDJIAN

Writer MARCO MEDRANO is a multistatelicensed cosmetologist and beauty/ grooming expert. @mrmarcomedrano

LONG-ACTINGPrEP

APRETUDE is a prescription medicine used for HIV-1 PrEP to reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection in adults and adolescents who weigh at least 77 pounds (at least 35 kg).

Reasons to ask your doctor about APRETUDE

APRETUDE is the first and only long-acting, injectable PrEP for reducing the risk of getting HIV-1

It’s an injection given every other month, instead of a pill you take every day

Studied in HIV-1 negative cisgender men, transgender women, and cisgender women at risk of getting HIV-1

APRETUDE is given every other month by a healthcare provider after initiation injections have been given 1 month apart for 2 consecutive months. Stay under a provider’s care while receiving APRETUDE. You must receive it as scheduled. If you will miss a scheduled injection by more than 7 days, call your provider right away.

IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT APRETUDE

This is only a brief summary of important information about APRETUDE and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your medicine.

AP-reh-tood

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT APRETUDE

Important information for people who receive APRETUDE to help reduce their risk of getting human immunodeficiency virus-1 (HIV-1) infection, also called pre-exposure prophylaxis or “PrEP”:

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT APRETUDE (cont'd)

Before receiving APRETUDE to reduce your risk of getting HIV-1:

• You must be HIV-1 negative to start APRETUDE. You must get tested to make sure that you do not already have HIV-1 infection.

• Do not receive APRETUDE for HIV-1 PrEP unless you are confirmed to be HIV-1 negative.

• Some HIV-1 tests can miss HIV-1 infection in a person who has recently become infected. If you have flu-like symptoms, you could have recently become infected with HIV-1. Tell your healthcare provider if you had a flu-like illness within the last month before starting APRETUDE or at any time while receiving APRETUDE. Symptoms of new HIV-1 infection include: tiredness; joint or muscle aches; sore throat; rash; enlarged lymph nodes in the neck or groin; fever; headache; vomiting or diarrhea; night sweats. Please see additional Important Facts About APRETUDE at right.

Eligible patients may pay as little as a $0 co-pay per injection on prescribed APRETUDE.

IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT APRETUDE (cont'd)

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT APRETUDE (cont'd)

While you are receiving APRETUDE for HIV-1 PrEP:

• APRETUDE does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections. Practice safer sex by using a latex or polyurethane condom to reduce the risk of getting sexually transmitted infections.

• You must stay HIV-1 negative to keep receiving APRETUDE for HIV-1 PrEP.

° Know your HIV-1 status and the HIV-1 status of your partners.

° Ask your partners with HIV-1 if they are taking anti-HIV-1 medicines and have an undetectable viral load. An undetectable viral load is when the amount of virus in the blood is too low to be measured in a lab test. To maintain an undetectable viral load, your partners must keep taking HIV-1 medicine as prescribed. Your risk of getting HIV-1 is lower if your partners with HIV-1 are taking effective treatment.

° Get tested for HIV-1 with each APRETUDE injection or when your healthcare provider tells you. You should not miss any HIV-1 tests. If you become HIV-1 infected and continue receiving APRETUDE because you do not know you are HIV-1 infected, the HIV-1 infection may become harder to treat.

° Get tested for other sexually transmitted infections such as syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea. These infections make it easier for HIV-1 to infect you.

° If you think you were exposed to HIV-1, tell your healthcare provider right away. They may want to do more tests to be sure you are still HIV-1 negative.

° Get information and support to help reduce sexual risk behaviors.

° Do not miss any injections of APRETUDE. Missing injections increases your risk of getting HIV-1 infection.

° If you do become HIV-1 positive, you will need to take other medicines to treat HIV-1. APRETUDE is not approved for treatment of HIV-1.

If you have HIV-1 and receive only APRETUDE, over time your HIV-1 may become harder to treat.

ABOUT APRETUDE

APRETUDE is a prescription medicine used for HIV-1 PrEP to reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection in adults and adolescents who weigh at least 77 pounds (at least 35 kg). HIV-1 is the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). It is not known if APRETUDE is safe and effective in children younger than 12 years of age or weighing less than 77 pounds (less than 35 kg).

DO NOT RECEIVE APRETUDE IF YOU:

• already have HIV-1 infection. If you are HIV-1 positive, you will need to take other medicines to treat HIV-1. APRETUDE is not approved for treatment of HIV-1.

• do not know your HIV-1 infection status. You may already be HIV-1 positive. You need to take other medicines to treat HIV-1. APRETUDE can only help reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection before you are infected.

• are allergic to cabotegravir.

• are taking any of the following medicines: carbamazepine; oxcarbazepine; phenobarbital; phenytoin; rifampin; rifapentine.

BEFORE RECEIVING APRETUDE

Tell your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including if you:

• have ever had a skin rash or an allergic reaction to medicines that contain cabotegravir.

• have or have had liver problems.

• have ever had mental health problems.

• are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if APRETUDE will harm your unborn baby. APRETUDE can remain in your body for up to 12 months or longer after the last injection. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while receiving APRETUDE.

BEFORE RECEIVING APRETUDE (cont'd)

• are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if APRETUDE can pass to your baby in your breast milk. Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby while receiving APRETUDE.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Some medicines may interact with APRETUDE. Keep a list of your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for a list of medicines that interact with APRETUDE.

Do not start a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider. Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to receive APRETUDE with other medicines.

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF APRETUDE

APRETUDE may cause serious side effects, including:

• Allergic reactions. Call your healthcare provider right away if you develop a rash with APRETUDE. Stop receiving APRETUDE and get medical help right away if you develop a rash with any of the following signs or symptoms: fever; generally ill feeling; tiredness; muscle or joint aches; trouble breathing; blisters or sores in mouth; blisters; redness or swelling of the eyes; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue.

• Liver problems. Liver problems have happened in people with or without a history of liver problems or other risk factors. Your healthcare provider may do blood tests to check your liver function.

Call your healthcare provider right away if you develop any of the following signs or symptoms of liver problems: your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice); dark or "tea-colored" urine; lightcolored stools (bowel movements); nausea or vomiting; loss of appetite; pain, aching, or tenderness on the right side of your stomach area; itching.

• Depression or mood changes. Call your healthcare provider or get medical help right away if you have any of the following symptoms: feeling sad or hopeless; feeling anxious or restless; have thoughts of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt yourself.

The most common side effects of APRETUDE include: pain, tenderness, hardened mass or lump, swelling, bruising, redness, itching, warmth, loss of sensation at the injection site, abscess, and discoloration; diarrhea; headache; fever; tiredness; sleep problems; nausea; dizziness; passing gas; stomach pain; vomiting; muscle pain; rash; loss of appetite; drowsiness; back pain; upper respiratory infection. These are not all the possible side effects of APRETUDE.

Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

GET MORE INFORMATION

• Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist.

• Go to APRETUDE.com or call 1-877-844-8872 where you can also get FDA-approved labeling.

December 2021 APR:1PIL

Trademark is owned by or licensed to the ViiV Healthcare group of companies. ©2022 ViiV Healthcare or licensor.

CBTADVT220009 August 2022

Produced in USA.

BILLY PORTER The Boundless

AGAINST THE ODDS, THE BLACK GAY PERFORMER CONQUERED BROADWAY AND HOLLYWOOD. WITH AN UPCOMING ALBUM AND TOUR, HE’S FULFILLING HIS LIFELONG DREAM OF BECOMING A MUSIC STAR TOO

by TAYLOR HENDERSON

photographer SAM WAXMAN

photographer SAM WAXMAN @wamsaxman

photographer’s assistant AUSTIN RUFFER @austinyourface

stylists TY HUNTER @tytryone COLIN ANDERSON @colinmanderson

assistant stylists MANUEL MENDEZ @itsamanuworld MARIO SOLARES @oxandsnake

hair CHERYL BERGAMY @cheryltbergamyhair

makeup LA SONYA GUNTER @lasonyagunter

nail tech NIA MUCH

videographer AUSTIN NUNES @austinunes

“I wanted to be the male Whitney Houston.”

That was Billy Porter’s first dream. He didn’t always aspire to be a Tony Award-winning Broadway star. Or an Emmy Award-winning actor. Or a fashion icon. Or a movie director. Yet he’s done all those things. That’s just what happens when you “stay ready,” he says with a smile. “I came in with the skill set to be multihyphenated from the start, from the beginning.” He’s not bragging, just stating facts. “I’m a singer. For the first 20 years, I had to fight to try to convince the powers that be that I could act.” Now at 53, an age Houston never lived to see, he’s ready to show the world every trick he has, on his own terms. It’s clear he’s a born storyteller.

“When I was a kid, I’d go to church a couple Sundays a month with Mom,” he recalls. “She’d dress me up in black loafers and some awful striped polo she’d bought from JCPenney, and I’d mentally prepare for the three-hour 12 p.m. service. My Houston megachurch always begins the service with 45 minutes of live gospel music. That was always my favorite part, when the choir would croon and stomp and praise till they were exhausted and the pastor would stumble out, sing-talking over the organ, Let the church say amen-ing until the crowd’d get louder and louder, working themselves back up into a frenzy, voice rising to the heavens, the choir jumping to their feet for another round of worship.”

I feel like I’m back in those pews, awestruck, as I talk to Porter — a powerful sensation to evoke over Zoom. I’m in my West Hollywood apartment; he’s at his New York home outside of the city. Porter’s cadence ebbs and flows as he speaks with the passion of a preacher. Even his voice is iconic, often imitated on TikTok and impersonated in comedy sketches.

If Porter takes his fans to church, it’s because that’s where his entertainment career began — initially, to less favorable reviews. He started singing in a Pentecostal church when he was 5. “The adults sensed a special energy around me,” he recalls. That was code. “Being a sissy, I was a target, and the preacher said I would never be anything. I was told I would never be blessed because I was queer.”

Porter preached his first and last sermon at the age of 11 because he discovered the vehicle that would change the trajectory of his life: musical theater. “That summer,” he says, “I happened to stumble upon the Tony Awards as I was washing dishes in my kitchen.” It was 1982, and Porter witnessed Jennifer Holliday’s iconic performance of “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” from Dreamgirls on live TV. “That was the defining moment of my life. In that moment, I understood that I would be OK, that I would be OK for real.” His voice wavers as the tears well.

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“All of a sudden something clicked.” He began acting, and people began to respect him because of his talent. “It gave me a platform to sing in front of my bullies. The bullying stopped as a result.” He began to understand his power — and his potential.

Porter then attended the Pittsburgh Creative and Performing Arts School and went on to Carnegie Mellon’s prestigious School of Drama. Though he loved musical theater, he never lost sight of his original dream to be a singer. He just didn’t quite know how to go after it.

I CHANGED THE FACE OF FASHION FOREVER. AND I’M GONNA SAY IT OUT LOUD.

“There was no connection to the music industry; there was no space for me,” he says. “I didn’t know nobody who could get me into the music industry. That only existed in New York and Los Angeles. This was even before Atlanta, you know, this was even before Babyface. So my only way into being creative on a daily basis was to train in theater, dance, acting.”

Porter was in his last semester at Carnegie Mellon when he went to an open call for Miss Saigon. After numerous callbacks, he booked a spot in the original cast, received internship credit for his last semester in the spring of 1990, and officially moved to NYC. Then he landed Grease. Then Smokey Joe’s Cafe. And he then competed on Star Search against a young Britney Spears and won $100,000. But at the time, that win “didn’t really do anything. It’s a great credit to have.” He waves the accomplishment off. “With taxes, it’s 40k, just so we’re clear. Nobody told me how to invest it. I should have put a down payment on a studio apartment in Midtown [Manhattan]. I would be a billionaire right now.”

While he is grateful for his early Broadway run, Porter says, in the moment, he wasn’t exactly happy. He struggled to make ends meet between shows. “I couldn’t get hired on major summer stock jobs because I was Black, and they weren’t hiring Black people and when they did, it was like one or two tokens, a girl and a boy. Those slots were filled. That girl and that boy continued to come back every season.”

So he took what he could get. And when he did get featured roles, “I just felt like a coon…. It’s hard to talk about it because I don’t want to disrespect

the moment,” but Porter says he “suffered at the hands of a lot of racism and homophobia in the business.” Take his run in Grease, for instance. You can still watch his jaw-dropping performance of “Beauty School Dropout” on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno on YouTube.

“They put me in 14 inches of orange rubber hair and a space suit and made me prance around like a Little Richard automaton on crack.” He still slayed it, but “nobody took me seriously as a human being for 25 years. I spent years digging myself out of that millennium coon hole.”

It would not be the last time he’d be asked to play the role of the “magical fairy Negro.” In the rehearsal for Smokey Joe’s Cafe, Porter says “the choreographer told me to bug my eyes out more.” He also recalls auditioning for the revival of Cabaret “that made Alan Cumming a star and they came back with, ‘That’s not the story we’re telling.’” It’s about racism and discrimination, he says, and Black people existed in Nazi Germany too. “You’re telling me that that’s not the story. Please stop this bullshit.”

But Porter soldiered on. He leveraged his Broadway success into a record deal and released his debut album, Untitled, in 1997, which included the singles “Show Me” and “Borrowed Time.” The music videos are hilarious artifacts of the time, doused in sepia-tone filters and cheesy R&B tropes, including the female love interest. There was no space for gay R&B stars

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in the industry, so the label forced him to sing about (and kiss) women. “I’m masculine! I did a good job being straight,” he laughs now, “and they made me feel like I was the most disgusting, faggoty, feminine…”

Porter didn’t just have to pretend in music videos. “I was literally told, before going on to The Rosie O’Donnell Show to promote my album, to not speak. Don’t speak, because if I speak, somebody will know I’m a faggot.” He spent the first 20 years of his career going along with the facade because “I knew that I would not be able to eat if somebody didn’t think that I fucked women.” Porter couldn’t watch those videos for a long time. “I was so traumatized.”

Many male R&B stars were forced into the closet to sell love songs to women. Among them were Tevin Campbell, a ’90s star who only just came out as gay in 2022, and Luther Vandross, the pop culture icon who hid his sexuality his entire career. The tears jump back to Porter’s eyes when I mention the name. “I can be alive because Luther Vandross laid his faggot life down for me.” He lists other names: Sylvester, James Baldwin, Billy Strayhorn.

By the time “2000 came around my record deal imploded,” he says. “I was really unhappy with the trajectory of where my theater career was going because I was only being used as a showstopper.”

So he “just walked away from all of that. I was like, if this is what it’s gonna be, I’m done. I’ll find something else.”

Porter began to audition for television and film but initially “didn’t have a lot of luck” in the industry. “The code language was always ‘flamboyant.’ Too much. If the character description did not start with ‘flamboyantly dot dot dot’ I was not considered,” even if the character was queer. “I’m too flamboyant to play a gay character and then you go and cast a straight person almost every time.”

Porter almost landed the role of Emmett on Showtime’s Queer as Folk, which first aired in December 2000. It’s easy to imagine Porter as the lovably over-the-top character, but he says he bombed the audition. It was “the only thing I ever screen tested for in a traditional fashion. It was me and Peter Paige.” When he went to the screen test, producers asked him to sign a contract as if he’d already secured the role, a standard industry practice that Porter was unaware of. “It threw me off my game, and I tanked that audition. I was flabbergasted.” How different the world might have been if a young gay Black boy

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I’M A DIVA WITH A DICK!

could’ve seen Porter on the groundbreaking drama, which ended up with an all-white principal cast.

Porter does shout out Love, Simon director Greg Berlanti, who cast him as Taylor in The Broken Hearts Club despite the character being “specifically described in the script as white and blond.” Porter’s presence is persuasive, and he “went into the room with the director and booked the gig.”

When his acting career hit a lull, Porter discovered The Artist’s Way, a self-help workbook by Julia Cameron that’s helped millions of people tap into their creative potential. The revelations came flooding for Porter, most notably that he did not want to be an R&B star as he’d previously thought — especially if he had to make himself smaller to fit in the boxes demanded by the industry. “I discovered, Oh, shit, I’m a visionary. I want to be the master of my

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own fate. I want to be a mogul. I want to be Oprah, I wanna be, you know, Bill Cosby at the time. I wanna be Steven Spielberg. I want to be Ryan Murphy.”

Porter didn’t know how he would get there, but trying was the only option. He just kept putting one foot in front of the other. “I grew up watching my disabled mother get up every day and show up for her life with no prospects, with nothing.” That was his inspiration, sheer determination, and it kept him going through the hardest year of his life: 2007. “February, diagnosed diabetic. March, signing bankruptcy papers. June, HIV-positive.”

The inner preacher jumps out once again as fresh tears come. “The God I know, the universe, whatever you wanna call it. A higher power kept me in the center of the conversation, kept me sane, kept me alive. I’m so glad I lived long enough to see the human being that I am. My generation died in the plague. I wasn’t supposed to make it.” Porter’s voice cracks. “I choose life…and to choose life means that you show up for your life.”

And Porter showed up. He returned to Broadway in 2010, starring in a revival of Tony Kushner’s Angels in America. Three years later, Porter originated the role of drag performer Lola in Kinky Boots, bringing his Black ferocity to the Great White Way and winning a Tony for Best Actor in a Musical. In 2017 he landed the role of Pray Tell in Pose, FX’s groundbreaking drama centered on trans and queer people of color in New York’s ballroom scene. Pray Tell led him in 2019 to become the first out gay Black actor to win an Emmy for Lead Actor in a Drama Series. The show pushed Porter into the mainstream. That same year, he wore the iconic tuxedo dress, crafted by Christian Siriano, to the 2019 Oscars, effectively drop-kicking the door open for gender fluidity on red carpets.

“I was just trying to do something fierce,” he laughs. “I had no idea that it was going to change the face of fashion forever.” Porter jabs his finger at his chest to set the record straight. “I changed the face of fashion forever. And I’m gonna say it out loud. I’m gonna stop being silent about it because I’m tired of forces and energies trying to give that distinction to other people. I’m not gonna let it happen. You can call me conceited, you can call me whatever the fuck you want to call me. But I’m not gonna let y’all give my shit to somebody else anymore. And you know what I’m talking about. It’s not his fault.”

Porter is coy for a beat before he starts naming names. “This is not about that cutie Harry Styles. He’s fabulous.” But it was Porter who

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“sacrificed everything to sit inside my truth and my authenticity. Me showing up in an antebellum Oscar dress could have gone horribly wrong. I wouldn’t have been sitting here, and I would be destitute back in Pittsburgh, living on my best friend’s sofa. I sacrificed everything to be this. Y’all ain’t taking that shit away from me.”

In the years since, Porter directed his first film, the transgender-led rom-com Anything’s Possible on Amazon Prime Video. He’s launched his production company Incognegro alongside D.J. Gugenheim. He’s teaming up with Berlanti to produce the Peacock

drama Fruits of Thy Labor. And he’s signed a new deal with Republic Records.

Gone are the days of ballads crooned to women. Porter’s ready to dance in all his glory, face beat to the gods, strutting in a dress, or however the hell he wants to be. “I’m bursting at the seams,” he says. This album “is everything I’ve ever wanted to say as an artist,” beginning with the first single, “Baby Was a Dancer,” a disco-infused celebration of life. Porter enlisted songwriters Justin Tranter, MNEK, and more for the album, titled Black Mona Lisa, which comes out this summer. And Porter is gearing up for his first national tour.

“This is my Songs in the Key of Life, this is my magnum opus,” he declares. “It’s not just one song. It’s the whole experience. I’m 53 years old, you’re gonna need to listen to the entire album and you will understand, even the young people with no attention span.”

And the community better show up for him like they do for female pop stars. “I’m a diva with a dick!” he says. “I represent all the things you love about all those ladies. It’s time for us to crack open our minds to receive that.”

“I’m excited to just be able to finally communicate my gift artistically and creatively with the world,” he adds. “God gave me the gift of song, and it was so expansive. That’s what gave me the courage to stretch out and become all these other things.”

Billy Porter has always been a mogul; he’s only now just been empowered to show the world. “I don’t want no ceilings on my shit. White folks don’t get ceilings. I’m gonna be in movies. Imma direct movies. I’m writing them. I’m producing shit. I’m nominated for an NAACP Award being a voice with The Proud Family. I’m doing all of it. No glass ceiling, no limitations.”

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EACH GOWN AND CROWN RECOUNTS A CHAPTER OF THE PERFORMER’S JOURNEY IN DRAG AND GENDER

by BERNARDO SIM

Sasha Colby was introduced on season 15 of RuPaul’s Drag Race as a certified drag legend. She had already won the famed Miss Continental pageant, developed relationships with high-profile designers, and mothered several drag children — including season 14 star Kerri Colby.

For Colby, her journey in the world of drag — and as a transgender woman — is stitched into her garments. Beginning with her youth in Hawaii, Colby formed a lifelong relationship with clothes as a means of gender expression and freedom. And she had some unintentional helpers.

“The funny thing is how my parents would dress me,” Colby reflects. “In elementary school, I was already a blond kid in the middle of Hawaii. I had green eyes, pretty fair skin, and was femmepresenting. Then they’d put me in these little shorts that no other boy was wearing. And I was like, ‘So you really want me to just get more beat up, right?’

I felt like my parents unintentionally dressed me up very feminine, and they didn’t even realize it.”

Short shorts were just the beginning. As a child, she tried on different forms of feminine presentation, which allowed her to access new realms of creativity.

“The first gender-affirming clothes I ever put on were my sister’s negligee and bra,” she recalls. “From elementary to high school, I would come home and I would play in my sister’s makeup because she would have it in the bathroom. So it was easy for me to just grab a little liner, put some mascara on, light a candle, put on music. There was a radio inside our bathroom, and I would lip-synch in front of the mirror for hours — three hours, from 3 to 6 [a.m.] And my dad would be pounding on the door saying, ‘Get out, I have to shower!’”

Even today, Colby doesn’t believe her family understood what she was doing in the bathroom. “No one asked…ever,” she says with a laugh. “Maybe they noticed that I had black around my eye or little leftover remnants of makeup. But they never really pressed it. They’d just be annoyed that I’d be taking up the bathroom.”

Her teenage years also marked a major turning point in her sartorial self-discovery. “My first gender-affirming, ‘Oh, I’m trans and this is how I’m going to present myself,’ was in high school,” Colby says. “I was around 17 and dressing

up for Halloween. A bunch of my friends rented a hotel in Waikiki. My best friend, Lindsay, who’s still my best friend to this day, fully let me be in drag. We all walked around Waikiki and I just felt like…‘I’m a girl.’ It was so empowering. I was finally seen but not gawked at. I was really awkward before I transitioned, but as soon as I started presenting [as] how I actually felt on the inside, a lot of people were like, ‘You just seem so much happier now…. It’s so nice to see you.’”

Over the years, Colby kept expressing herself through fashion and evolved her style as she gained more confidence and experience. In fact, every dress tells a story. Read on to hear about them.

Crowning Glory

Colby triumphed in the 2012 Miss Continental pageant, which garnered her this crown. She recalls, “This is right when I won. When you win any big pageant, it is a job you’re taking, which is why I always think about it when I wanted to do Drag Race. Everyone thinks that the competition is the real hard part, but it’s actually doing the job after.” Winning Miss Continental gave Colby a sense of responsibility that comes with the platform of the title. “Being able to represent what I felt I loved about Miss Continental was really important. I was traveling so much…. The Continental schedule was fierce. I sometimes had to do two or three different cities, different states even, in one weekend.”

The “First Incarnation in Drag”

Colby was gifted this leather piece from one of her sons, the fashion designer August Getty; previously, it was hanging in his personal closet. Even though she first wore it for a recent photo shoot, the look is reminiscent of her “first incarnation in drag.” She explains, “I was the rock-and-roll girl, this platinum blond thing, walking in Hawaii. Not a lot of girls had the commitment to go blond-blond…and I was platinum. I was feeling my Gwen Stefani era, very ‘Hella Good’ [by No Doubt]. I am a kid of the 2000s, so I did love me some emo, Hot Topic. Give me a rubber band bracelet up to my elbows, please.”

Something Borrowed

“When I first ran Miss Continental in 2005, that was the first gown that I ever wore,” Colby says. “And it’s actually my drag mother Cassandra Colby’s gown that she wore when she won Miss Universal Show Queen, which is a very big pageant based in Hawaii. It was a big bustle that she had, and I repurposed it as a cool little coat. I just love having sentimental drag pieces. That gown goes back so far — 15 years now.”

Hawaiian Warrior

This drag veteran put a lot of thought behind how she would enter the Werk Room of RuPaul’s Drag Race for the very first time. “My drag is very everywhere, like a drag chameleon. So I thought, What story do I want to start to tell first? ” she muses. “And it went back to who I am as a person, being Hawaiian. I wanted to take on the idea of a powerful warrior, mixing in the black skirt, which is actually more so of a man’s skirt. It’s called a malo, which men wear more often than women. It felt like a little touch that maybe only other queer Hawaiian people would understand and be like, ‘Oh, wow. She’s doing the masculine/feminine thing, but in a Sasha Colby way.’”

As for the tattoos, Colby met with a Hawaiian culture specialist, Kumu Mehana Hind, to ensure she was making the accurate references to her origins. “I had a really long talk with her, and she wanted to really know my reasoning behind why I chose to have tattoos for this look,” Colby says. “For me, it was just aesthetics, but then she told me why we tattoo as Polynesians. It’s a very sacred ritual act, usually to commemorate a big thing that happened in your life: a big death or a big birth or a big transformation. When she said transformation, I realized that’s why I innately went to it, because it’s showing my transness as well. Even though I didn’t realize it at first, that was also a really powerful statement that I got to make.”

First Impression

Colby’s first runway look on RuPaul’s Drag Race was a 10-year-old gown made by a New York City-based designer named Gustavo Bustos; she previously wore it the year she won Miss Continental. “He would do all the Miss Venezuela pageants back in the ’80s and ’90s, and he started doing a lot of drag, a lot of trans-drag pageants, which is why we all fell in love with him,” she says. “He’s a legend in the drag industry, so I really wanted to make a statement that night.”

Despite her already sizable reputation, Colby never underestimated the Drag Race experience as she went into filming season 15. “Let’s be real, Drag Race is the hugest competition in drag culture,” Colby points out. “I think of it as a televised pageant, so that’s why it was so easy to see myself competing. Going there, I’ve had a lot of life happen to me. I was also ready to just be present in not just the competition but understanding that it is a show as well.... A lot of people see me as standoffish and maybe intimidating when they see me on stage, but everyone that meets me is like, ‘Oh, but she’s so sweet and goofy.’”

Could Colby soon wear a Drag Race crown with a story of its own? Considering the possibility, she becomes a little emotional. “To be quite honest, I just wanted my foot in the door,” she confesses. “‘Just get me on TV, please, and I promise you I’ll take whatever I get.’ I’ve just been working so hard and never thought that anybody was watching or even noticed it. The amount of love that I’ve gotten has made me feel like my 20 years of work really meant something, that people are really watching.

“My goal with Drag Race is to follow in the footsteps of all the successful Drag Race sisters that I’ve seen become more than their wildest dreams. Being able to seize opportunities. This is what Drag Race is about. Even the non-winners are such winners. It’s insane what you can do with just the opportunity. And I definitely go into this not just wanting to win, but just being like, ‘Man, if I could just get somebody to see me, then it’s on.’ That’s what I feel like. My opportunities are so much bigger now, and my dreams just got bigger.”

MTV’s The Real Friends of WeHo cast members Brad Goreski , Curtis Hamilton, and Joey Zauzig break down what makes West Hollywood a style standout. And they model their Sunday Funday best in the gayborhood’s famous bar, the Abbey

Left

photographer EASTON SCHIRRA @easonschirra

stylist NAOMI ZINNS @naomizinns

assistant stylists FIONA SKYE & XAVIER

grooming JOSÉ ANTONIO FIGUEROA @josefigz

grooming assistant LESLIE ORTIZ @leslienataliexoxo

location THE ABBEY @theabbeyweho

let’s be real

Brad Goreski stylist

Your friend is in town and asks to do a Sunday Funday in West Hollywood. What would your itinerary be for the day? I would start off at Dayglow for a coffee. I love Bottega Louie, so we would go for lunch and then head to the Abbey, naturally.

What would you wear on this occasion?

Prob something really casual. Vintage concert tee, cotton Isabel Marant pants, Dior high-tops, Celine fanny pack.

Tell us a story about an epic time at a WeHo gay bar. I saw Britney Spears perform [at the Factory, a nowdemolished space] years ago. She did a few numbers to promote her new album. It was epic. The crowd went wild.

“Friends” is an important part of the title of your show, The Real Friends of WeHo. How have Los Angeles friends and found family enriched your life and career? I have made so many amazing friends in L.A. My BFFs Matt Holloway and Scott Myrick are so supportive. We have so much fun when we all go out together dancing. Brooke Lynn Hytes and I are very close. She is super sweet and funny and beautiful — I have to say that or she gets mad. Justin Sylvester makes me laugh so hard and always gives me great advice. I feel very lucky to have such good people in my life. They are my sisters. I love them so much.

There’s been some surprisingly nuanced conversations on the show about race, intersectionality, coming out, and the pressures of dealing with fame and personal branding in the social media age. What have you learned from your experience on the show and engaging in these talks? Everyone has their story. Everyone has their own unique experience. I was so impressed by the guys on the show and their willingness to be vulnerable, to share their story and to also listen. For me, it was really nice to sit with other gay men and get to know them, their comingout story, the things that happened to them along the way, and the things that unite us. I hope the audience gets that as well.

There’s been some criticism of the show — but of course, gay-centered reality content nearly always sparks heated debate. What do you believe is the reason for these strong reactions — among gay viewers in particular? I’m so

happy this show has found an audience who really love it. I have been stopped by so many people gay and straight who are enjoying it, talking about it with their friends, having a laugh and maybe having a cry. I’m glad the response has been so positive.

What’s your routine for escaping stress and drama? My husband Gary Janetti. My dogs are so amazing. I also work with animal rescues in L.A. and helping them really makes me feel good. That’s the stuff that matters. I don’t really pay attention to what the internet is saying. What’s next for you? Filming season 4 of Canada’s Drag Race. @bradgoreski

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Curtis Hamilton actor

Your friend is in town and asks to do a Sunday Funday in West Hollywood. What would your itinerary be for the day? To be honest...we probably would hit up Cecconi’s! I love the diversity of the people that go and the ambiance. The food isn’t bad either. Dress up or down, they’re sure to see someone they’ve seen on their TV screens. It’s always a vibe to me.

What would you wear on this occasion? My thing is shoes! I love wearing whatever new shoe I have in my closet on the weekends. Nothing like a fresh pair of kicks. My clothes — I keep it comfortable and loose along with some designer frames. Quite honestly, style is about confidence, so wear what makes you feel bomb!

How would you describe West Hollywood style? West Hollywood is a place of community for anyone, particularly queer people. Most events and nice restaurants reside in West Hollywood. I love that it welcomes us all and feels so inclusive. One of the best places for fun, leisure, people sightseeing, restaurants, clubs in L.A. I’ve grown as a man in this city. I’m happy to say I did.

Tell us a story about an epic time at a WeHo gay bar. Well to be honest, I haven’t been out to the gay bars in years. But I’ll say this. For Lance Bass’s birthday one year, we did a scavenger hunt around all the bars looking for clues to bring back to the Abbey. The thrill and competitiveness involved was so much fun amongst the group. It was hosted by Joey Fatone from NSYNC as well! Fun times fa sho

“Friends” is an important part of the title of your show, The Real Friends of WeHo. How have Los Angeles friends and found family enriched your life and career? For me, family is everything. But to be honest, they haven’t had much to do with my journey as an L.A. native and actor. I blame myself because I was hiding and suppressing so much, I didn’t let them in. I’d have to say my cousin, Mia Hamilton, makes me feel so loved and is like a sister to me here in L.A. I know she will always be there for me and support me and uplift me. I would like to say thanks to Toma Amot who found me walking down the street and Darrien Arnold who is my esthetician, but most importantly, my friend, and knows how rough at times this journey has been for me.

There’s been some surprisingly nuanced conversations on the show about race, intersectionality, coming out, and the pressures of dealing with fame and personal branding in the social media age. What have you learned from your experience on the show and engaging in these talks? I’ve consistently said in my interviews and press that this experience was like therapy for me. I’ve learned how being open and vulnerable, [and] most importantly, living in your truth — for anyone, that has so much power. There’s so much respect that comes with that and that allows others to feel comfortable to tell their truth. What would you say to the show’s critics? And how do you escape the

drama? I’d say I respect your opinion if you don’t enjoy the show just as much as the ones who do enjoy it! As long as there’s conversations, that’s something. The ones who boycotted it before even giving it a chance, I just have to tip my hat and say your disdain is admirable. By the way, I’m an active yoga member; two times a week definitely centers my mind. What’s next for you? I’m working on this new journey and the family dynamic still. I will be in a Tyler Perry project coming soon and praying I build this MTV portfolio. I’m ready to get to work! I miss being on a set, telling a story. @thecurtishamilton

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Joey Zauzig influencer

Your friend is in town and asks to do a Sunday Funday in West Hollywood. What would your itinerary be for the day? We would start off by going to Great White for an outside brunch. I love the diavola pizza and ceviche with a spicy cucumber marg. Then we can head over to SoHo House for a drink and then head over to the Abbey to see a drag show. What would you wear on this occasion? I’m guilty of being an outfit repeater. I love my usual uniform, which consists of a white jean, Converse of some type, a plain tee, with a fun Prada button-down shirt, a great pair of Dior sunnies, and two to three necklaces.

How would you describe West Hollywood style? I think West Hollywood style is all about self-expression. Less focus on

trends and more of what resonates with everyone’s self. I love the fashion here being an amazing form of self-expression. Tell us a story about an epic time at a WeHo gay bar. Hard to pick just one, but most recently, me ending up at Micky’s at 2 a.m., after my show aired and a famous drag queen recognizing me from my show and handing me the mic to tell the whole bar to watch the show — or else you’re missing out.

“Friends” is an important part of the title of your show, The Real Friends of WeHo. How have Los Angeles friends and found family enriched your life and career? Friends are everything to me. Genuine relationships are the key — hanging around people that inspire and uplift you and make you feel good after hanging out with them. I’d rather have a couple really good friends than a bunch of OK friends. Some of the most important relationships are the long-term friends, one of them being Eric Best, who’s been my best friend of 15 years. We grew up together, we came out together, succeeded together. Nobody inspires me more. He really enriches my life and career. We really love to support each other.

There’s been some surprisingly nuanced conversations on the show about race, intersectionality, coming out, and the pressures of dealing with fame and personal branding in the social media age. What have you learned from your experience on the show and engaging in these talks? Don’t read the comments. I’ve learned that the hard way. You should be enjoying your successes, and don’t let people take that away from you. A lot of the people spreading hate are not here to celebrate your successes with you — focus on the people who are. I’ve learned from the experience of the show that it is most important to listen to one another and listen to everybody’s experience.

What would you say to the show’s critics? I wish everyone would give it a chance; it’s such a powerful show with humor, heart, and humility. We all opened ourselves up [by] going onto a show and showing our authentic selves. It’s not easy to do. I’m proud of the whole cast, and I really encourage everybody to give it a chance

What’s your routine for escaping stress and drama? I love taking a walk, going to be alone in my own thoughts. Take a breath and a step back from everybody. Practicing gratitude for things big and small.

What’s next for you? I really want to keep on the TV train. I loved working on this project, and I’m excited to see what kind of opportunities and doors this opens for me.

I’m excited to give back to the community that’s been supporting me the last six years.

@joeyzauzig

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SALEM BEIRUTI’S LOVE OF MYTHS AND MERMEN INSPIRED ART THAT CAUGHT THE EYE OF MARVEL AND LGBTQ+ FANS ALIKE

by DANIEL REYNOLDS

Poseidon Model Ignacio Perez

Salem Beiruti has had a Marvel-ous year. The artist helped Ruth E. Carter, the costume designer of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, in crafting the concept art for Namor, the superhuman leader of the underwater city of Tlālōcān, which was inspired by Indigenous cultures.

Beiruti also has a fantastic origin story. Born in Lebanon, he traveled to Spain to pursue his art, which reflects his love of mythology and the male form. As Beiruti tells it, while the other boys were dreaming of a little mermaid, “I was the only kid sitting by the seashore dreaming of that merman! That little kid grew up and became an artist.”

Read on for more visions from Beiruti’s world.

Soulmates — Essence of Love

What first inspired you to become an artist?

I had this dream since I was a school kid: I wanted to be an illustrator. My sister used to buy me illustrated books and read them for me. I carried this fantasy to become an artist since then.

You’re from Lebanon. How did growing up there inform your art?

I grew up in a humble family; my parents raised me well and took care of my talent the way they understood it. I learned a lot from Middle Eastern culture and traditions. I studied graphic design and publicity, and my talent opened many doors for me to discover more about my origins. With time, I built a strong base for my personal work and kept my work somehow disciplined, following traditions and respecting the type of jobs I was offered and the people around me. Then I moved to Spain, where I was exposed to a completely different culture. And that’s what made me choose to change my style — combining it with what I learned from my origins yet focusing on what I admire the most and expressing it the best way I can.

Cernunnos Model Francesc Gasco

What was your coming-out experience like?

It took me long time. I didn’t do it officially until my late 30s, but I was sure my close friends and some of my closest family members knew about it. They kept respecting my privacy and personal life. Some disagreed with me, of course, and others were simply happy for me making my own choices. Some got curious, but no one has negatively interfered with any part of my journey. The important part is that I didn’t change my behavior at any phase. I didn’t feel stressed to express myself. I can say that my experience was simple and peaceful.

How was art a part of that journey?

My artworks were a big part of that journey indeed; that’s what made me be visible. My friends and some of my teachers and people I worked with, they understood me through my artworks.

You worked with Ruth E. Carter, the Oscar-winning costume designer of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, on designing concepts for Namor, the film’s underwater-living antagonist who is inspired by Mesoamerican cultures. Tell us about that collaboration and what it means to you.

A wonderful experience, unforgettable indeed. I’m so proud and always grateful I had the chance to take part and design concepts for Namor´s looks. My work for Ruth Carter was used

in her mood boards during her presentations with Marvel. I was first contacted by her assistant, Stacy Caballero, a costume designer and fashion historian. Stacy saw my work online and she arranged my first online meeting with Ruth Carter. I remember I was breathless at first. I didn’t believe that Ruth was in front of me speaking on camera. It was my first time working with her on a big project like that, and I was very happy knowing that she liked my work. Stacy was always following up with the design process, providing me with references and arranging all the meetings with Ruth. Workflow was very professional and so smooth. The time difference between Spain and the United States wasn’t an issue in terms of finishing designs and meeting deadlines. In fact, it was rewarding and satisfying to stay overnight sometimes to finish the artworks — especially after seeing the results and knowing that Ruth was happy! Ruth is an amazing person to work with — humble, very creative. She opened my eyes and mind to learn about cultures and use history and resources from the character’s environment. That helped me a lot to create my concepts.

How does Black Panther inspire you?

As a concept artist and Marvel fan, I find Black Panther films to be rich in art, mythology, culture, tribal history, and of course, breathtaking costume designs. I was mesmerized by the characters and the way they appeared. I loved every scene in both films. After watching the second movie, I felt the strength to carry on and to believe more in myself as an artist and what I am capable of doing. I started to read more stories about ancient civilizations, cultures, and tribes. This took my imagination and creativity to another level

Namor has found a fan base among queer folks. What do you believe is the appeal of his character?

I loved working on Namor´s designs. First of all, I have to mention that [the designs of] all characters, and not only Namor, have been upgraded and evolved 10 years from the first Black Panther to create a world based on ancient Indigenous culture. Think about all the materials in the ocean that we could use for the costumes of the [mythical

Namor Model Tenoch Huerta

underwater city of] Tlālōcān! Namor is a sexy, charismatic superhero played by Tenoch Huerta. He’s quick-witted with a hint of a badass leader. He can swim — and also, he can fly. Sometimes, he wears the leader cape, sometimes, a massive headpiece and big, beautiful, detailed accessories. Namor has a strong personality in addition to his character and looks. I believe that’s what made him have this big fan base.

Like Black Panther, your art is influenced by mythology. What about myths inspire you creatively?

Myths make me dream and imagine the characters, according to each story. It’s like living a fantasy and finding myself in the middle of the scene, watching every character play his role. I love myths.

Is there a particular myth that resonates with you?

The mermen and Triton myths. Everyone around me was looking for the little mermaid or waving to the boats and jumping inside the water. I was the only kid sitting by the seashore dreaming of that merman! That little kid grew up and became an artist. He created an artwork telling a story about a merman who fell in love with an angel. They can only meet once a month, when the moon is full.

What do you hope is the message and impact of your art, particularly for your LGBTQ+ fans?

I see beauty and art in almost everything around me. I have a deep admiration for male forms, and I try to reflect this in the stories I tell along with my illustrations. I like people to find my art seductive, elegant, mysterious, intriguing. I want them to find my work encouraging, to follow their dreams and passion, to be creative, to do what they love to do the most and never feel afraid or hesitate to change.

What’s next for you?

I’m currently preparing for two exhibitions in Spain for two different dates and cities. Also, I’m working on more artworks for my Slick collection, [which includes] latex and fetish concepts. I hope I can have enough time to create my first tarot deck this year!

Salem Beiruti is a concept artist whose work has been exhibited at the Museo ABC and La Torcida in Madrid. Find his book Morphosis on Amazon. Learn more at TheArtOfSalem.com and on Instagram @artistsalem

ABOVE Faun and the Flute of Secrets Model Sebastien Selles

The Enchanter Model Jose Palacios

by alex cooper

LISTEN TO ARI SHAPIRO

From cabarets with Alan Cumming to communes with Radical Faeries, the lauded journalist shares highlights from his memoir, The Best Strangers in the World

Ari Shapiro is ready to talk — this time, about himself. After a journalism career spent listening to others, he’s telling his story of a job that has taken him around the world and even sparked creative pursuits like performing with the band Pink Martini and the legendary bisexual entertainer Alan Cumming.

The cohost of NPR’s All Things Considered and former White House correspondent gets personal in his memoir-in-essays The Best Strangers in the World: Stories From a Life Spent Listening, out March 21 from HarperCollins. The 44-year-old shares everything from the story of his relationship with his husband, Mike Gottlieb, to why he likes sweating the way he does to never liking the question “What’s your favorite interview?”

“For the more than 20 years that I’ve been a journalist, it sometimes feels like when I set out to tell a story, I have to put myself in a box because it’s not about me. It’s not supposed to be about me. But I felt like it was time to open the box and see what was inside,” Shapiro says.

In cracking open this box, Shapiro realized that his work in media has influenced who he is today. “I wanted to explore that in the book and try to draw connections across some of these stories and experiences that may feel very different from one another,” Shapiro says. “Whether that is covering wars and revolutions or singing with the band Pink Martini or traveling aboard Air Force One with the president of the United States.”

Shapiro begins The Best Strangers in the World discussing his youth as a Jewish kid in North Dakota before moving in his teens to Portland, Oregon, where he was out in high school. In fact, The Best Strangers in the World is a love story to Shapiro’s queer identity. Nowadays, the buttoned-down reporter knows he might present as fairly conformist — but that would be a superficial reading.

“Sometimes, I’m a secret agent faggot behind enemy lines; other times I just want to impress your parents. I itch to torch oppressive and exclusionary institutions, even as I long to prove myself worthy of membership in them,” Shapiro writes in his book. “To rewrite a slogan from a T-shirt that I’ve spotted at countless Pride parades over the years, I am both ‘gay as in happy’ and ‘queer as in fuck you.’”

In one chapter, Shapiro highlights the yearly sojourn he takes to a commune of Radical Faeries in Tennessee, part of a countercultural queer movement that began over 50 years ago. These faeries — who hail from the worlds of film, theater, visual arts, and other media — spend a week exploring their creative depths, a transformative experience for Shapiro. “When I spend time with the faeries, I’m reminded

OPPRESSIVE AND EXCLUSIONARY INSTITUTIONS, EVEN AS I LONG TO PROVE MYSELF WORTHY OF MEMBERSHIP IN THEM.

— ARI SHAPIRO

of what it means to move through the world with an attitude of radical acceptance with an insistence on being present in the moment that you’re in, with an openness to new ideas and people,” Shapiro explains.

It is also valuable time spent with queer elders. “So much of LGBTQ life is divided by generations, and since we are not, for the most part, raised by queer people, we don’t often get the chance to talk to queers in their 70s or 80s or even 90s about their lives, and they don’t often get a chance to share their lived experience, their wisdom, with younger generations,” he says.

Although he’s famous through radio, Shapiro is also known for his striking looks, which helped land him on Paper ’s 2010 list of “beautiful people.” Shapiro is proud of this distinction due to the company he shared in the magazine’s pages: “When I look at the people who I’m on that list with, it’s not the best-dressed people; it’s not the people with the best bone structure. It’s the people who are doing creative, interesting, and beautiful things.”

It’s those assets that he prizes. “Ultimately, we will all grow old and wrinkled one day if we are lucky enough to live that long,” he says. “I hope that I am, and I look forward to being one of those elders who does not have to think about whether beauty is a currency to be spent.”

In 2019, Shapiro began a cabaret show with Cumming called Och and Oy! — a play on Cumming’s Scottish identity and Shapiro’s Jewish identity. In his book, Shapiro shares the start of their collaboration, from planning sessions in D.C. to celebrating a successful show at an underwear party on Fire Island.

Shapiro has also performed with the band Pink Martini for years, an experience he likens to being in a “well-oiled machine” run by a large ensemble of singers. However, “when Alan and I do our show together, it is really a pure collaboration and creation that the two of us do, which is such a surreal experience to be able to make something like that with somebody who is so revered.”

Nowadays, Cumming is a friend, a role model, and a big brother figure. “[Cumming] is insistent on enjoying life,” Shapiro says. “Alan, to me, represents squeezing every drop of juice out of the orange and just savoring it.”

Like Cumming, Shapiro has also been a face for activism. In 2004 he married his partner in San Francisco when then-Mayor

Gavin Newsom began issuing licenses to same-sex couples. (He and Gottlieb first met as students at Yale University in 1998.) Their ceremony was recorded by local news crews, and the footage became a fixture for years on MSNBC and other national networks in marriage equality reporting.

The 2004 marriage licenses issued by Newsom were later nullified by the California Supreme Court, which “means that today Mike and I are, technically, not legally married,” Shapiro writes in his book. The Best Strangers in the World debuts in a time when marriage equality is once again in the line of fire from right-wingers, along with transgender rights.

“I don’t know whether I take solace in this fact,” Shapiro says of the book’s pushback against a new era of anti-LGBTQ+ vitriol. “But I’m certainly aware of the fact that throughout history, queer people have had to fight for our right to exist, and that has taken different forms in different times. Adversity is real. But also, adversity is sadly consistent, and learning not only to exist but to flourish and thrive in the face of adversity has always been essential to the queer experience.”

And Shapiro is thriving. That queer experience influences how he approaches journalism, a job he continues to love.

“It is so exciting for me to wake up every day knowing that in my job, I’m going to learn about something I didn’t know about at the start of the day,” Shapiro says. “And when I’m out in the field, I get to parachute into people’s lives who are generous enough to confide in me about their hopes and their fears, their dreams, and their experiences. It feels like a place of privilege, and I never get tired of it.”

by alexander cheves

LAST CALL

that all subgroups of queer — from bisexual women to transgender folks — have high rates of alcohol abuse disorder.

All that rings sadly true. Familiar, even. I’ve heard it in many variations: Gays have a drug problem. I lived it. I became a gay trope: the slutty sex worker with a drug history who ages a bit before doling out sage advice to young sprites. Gay films have endless versions of me, a tired queen droning on with war stories because, thank God, they survived.

But I did. Others did not. We drank heavily, used the same meth, went to the same parties, and fucked the same people or the same kinds of people. I did not lose friends to AIDS, as queer generations before me did, but I have lost them to a queer drug culture that existed before, during, and after AIDS — and exists today. Strides have been made by countless nonprofit agencies and organizations — like GMHC in New York and the Los Angeles LGBT Center — to provide counseling, 12-step groups, harm reduction, and so on. But still, our queer battle with consumption feels like an ongoing motif, a song on a loop.

I asked Andrew G. Marshall, a London-based therapist and author, the obvious question: Why?

Marshall, who is gay, says the issue is twofold. “Most of us were told from a young age that what we do is wrong, dirty, and disgusting, and there’s a lot of shaming,” he says. “Alcohol and drugs help facilitate sex in the gay world and make it easier. They quiet down the fears of not being good enough, not having the right body, not fitting in. These fears are quieted in a way that people who haven’t received that amount of shame don’t need.”

Neighborhoods are gentrifying,

and the Gay Bar — home— feels increasingly like a relic from when cities were cheap, dirty, and wild. I posit — for the first time in my writing career — that maybe this is OK, mostly because of some recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Last November, the CDC released an alarming report. In recent years, “excessive drinking” accounted for one in five deaths among Americans ages 20 to 49. That’s a lot of people. Most of my friends fall in that range. Following COVID-19, another report from the CDC showed equally grim numbers: In 2020, over 93,000 Americans died from overdoses, the highest number ever recorded in a 12-month period and a 30 percent increase from the year before. Those were 93,000 friends.

Data on those who identify as LGBTQ+ relies on self-identifying, but most available data shows that we struggle with substances — drugs and alcohol — at higher rates and with worse outcomes than our hetero, cisgender peers. In 2020, research from Oxford University showed

The second problem, he says, is that queer folks tend to come of age in bars and clubs, where drugs and alcohol are part of the experience of growing up. This is as true for me as for countless others. I found my people in a gay bar, met my first sex work client on a barstool, and got stuck in messy drugs for a bit. In the thick of those drugs — when I was steeped in drug overuse if not yet abuse — I got help from a harm-reduction therapist who worked at a nonprofit run by queer people for queer people. Just as LGBTQ+ people brought me to my adult life and showed me who I am via drag shows and party tickets, they also sent me a lifeline out of the pit before things got scary. Other queer men I loved were not so lucky.

Some might not have had any success from my harm-reduction approach. They might have needed the stringent rules of abstinence and 12-step meetings to get back into life. Everyone struggling, even mildly, with substances should explore all options and try all approaches before giving up. I have my personal issues with abstinence and 12-step, but I accept that some of us need all-ornothing and the ritual of the rooms in order to stay alive. Every queer person alive now who participates in nightlife or at least enjoys the occasional gay brunch has — thanks to sobriety or simply moderation — survived a culture

It is a fact of queer life: Your favorite gay bar, the one where you found your tribe for the first time, will someday close.

nightlife is changing,

The sober-curious movement hurts gay bars, but it’s a lifeline for a community that has been disproportionately harmed by substances

that inextricably links our identities to something in a bottle or pipe. Our sex is bound to substances. As a sex writer and worker, I know how serious that is. Sex is self. If sex is only reachable via mind alteration, a human will get high to feel good. We feel we need it in order to live.

So, what can we do? I asked the therapist. “We should be offering courses and workshops on how to connect without drugs,” Marshall says. “Can you feel your desire without the drugs artificially doing it to you? The answer, of course, is: You can, but to do so, you need to be able to connect deeply with yourself, and that’s not something everybody can do easily.” A therapist helps. And, Marshall says, we should normalize these conversations. “They should be happening everywhere.”

Increasingly, there are more spaces for queer folks to gather and have these dialogues than ever before — without booze present. L.A. has Cuties, a queer, sober hangout cafe run by Virginia Bauman and her business partner, Iris Bainum-Houle. New York has GMHC, Bluestockings Cooperative, and a monthly mixer hosted by Safer Spaces NYC. Across the United States, in big and small urban areas, queer-owned businesses have started to fill the growing gap between our community’s mental health and our long-standing tradition of gathering in the gay bar. In Berlin, where I live, there is Village, a multi-use space that holds dance classes, yoga, “heart circles,” meditations, and other events that build the social networks that once formed on barstools and in backrooms. While sexpositive, Village is not a sex club and offers a sanctuary for those who might not want to be touched or flirted with too heavily. And it’s dry — always.

For better and worse, queer culture has shifted out of the bar. We now have sports teams and parent groups. One hopes we can move the culture

for our trans brothers and sisters as drastically as we have done for cis gays and lesbians. Making space matters, but more than that, we must talk more about shame. “As a community, we’ve tried to replace shame with pride,” Marshall says. “We think if we’re proud, we can drown out those earlier messages. But that’s not possible. We must listen to shame rather than try to escape it. When we listen to it, talk about it, and hear other people’s shame, it begins to dissolve. Shame disappears in the light of attention.”

I still love — and work in — nightlife. Gay nightlife will never die. But it will change. It has evolved into queer. It will evolve again. Gay men tend to get nostalgic about the past — about lost bars, aging divas, and music from our youth — but it is important to cherish what was while also letting the more harmful parts of our culture go, even when they were sometimes wonderful too. Love of culture often butts up against the painful truth that culture must change and that this change is needed. Every queer generation — especially those that did not call themselves “queer” — has struggled with this. Every future one will. But change is inevitable, and sometimes it’s for the better.

To leave the Gay Bar is not to say it didn’t matter, and all this is certainly not to isolate or attack the sexy, boozy, cruisy gathering spaces still open and running, like the ones I visit and love. We just need more sober spaces too so that the rest of us — the ones we need to be taking care of, who often struggle to ask for help, who need friends right now — can feel like they belong. Because they do.

Alexander Cheves is a writer, sex educator, and author of My Love Is a Beast: Confessions from Unbound Edition Press. @badalexcheves

SHINE

LGBTQ+ people know all too well the pressures exerted by society to conform, erase, and even destroy those who are different. But it also takes pressure to make a diamond — as Billy Porter, Sasha Colby, Michelle Rodriguez, and the rest of the priceless folks in these pages attest. The attributes that make us queer are the ones that make us shine. Thanks for reading. Thanks for shining.

SAM WAXMAN