Light in the Auditorium

By Lori Lewis

The lights in the auditorium were dimmed.The Kansas City School of Prophets took the stage. These “prophets” claimed God had given them a special ability to prophesy future events in people’s lives. The audience had been instructed to write their names on a piece of paper, and then each paper was placed in a large wheel onstage, much like a lottery wheel on TV. The host then began randomly pulling names out of the wheel and calling on a prophet to prophesy over that name.

I knew I should not be there. I knew this was kooky. Yet, I was so desperate that I remained open to the possibility that I could find some message from God there. You might be wondering how a girl from a Lutheran school background could find herself in such a situation. Believe me, I was wondering myself!

Surprisingly enough, I was a good Bible student. When I was in grade school, I followed the vicars around, asking them questions. I made plans to become a deaconess, but I left college before finishing the degree. Instead, I ended up on Christian radio.

Once there, people began to question my faith. Was I “Born Again”? Did I really “Know Jesus”? I was told that my faith was only “head knowledge”, and that I needed to “ask Jesus into my heart”.

One of the women I worked with was the wife of a pastor who had a very large non-denominational church in town. She invited me to visit their church. I found the music there so compelling. I had been raised in a LCMS church that had introduced me to contemporary Christian music (CCM). In fact, even as early as 6th grade, I was helping to lead the congregation in this type of music. But I found this church’s music to be much better! There was a great band, songs that moved me, and to top it all off, everyone, including the pastor, wore jeans! This church was all about “altar calls”. While music played, you walked to the front of the church and made the decision “to follow Jesus”. They told you to “stop playing church” and “give your heart to Jesus”.

The problem was the emphasis was not on the cross. In fact, I don’t remember ever hearing that you should come to the front because Jesus died and saved you from your sins. Instead, the promise was that God would make your life full and happy. Long speeches focused on modern man and how lonely and empty he is. Loneliness could be eliminated if you come down front and did your part by confessing Jesus. Then they took you in the back room and gave you a book on how to walk with God. The emphasis was on serving God, living a holy life and leaving the world behind.

Ironically, Jesus dying for your sins was considered elementary knowledge, and therefore hardly mentioned at this church. You were supposed to get past that message and become a mature Christian, digging into the meat of the Word. The truth is they meant that you needed to live by the Law!

I tried to live by the law, but I thought there was something wrong with me since I was still sinning. So I tried other churches. I went from one church to another trying to find the congregation that had the answer to my questions. Home churches were supposed to be more spiritual, but here I heard horrible teachings and witnessed some really strange stuff. I went to a church that had all heavy metal heads in it, even the pastor. Word of Faith churches said the charismatic church I had come from was weak. I kept deciding that the present church I was attending was not spiritual enough. I needed a stronger experience to keep me going.

Through it all, no one ever pointed me to the cross! In fact, the cross seemed to be offensive to many people. I was pointed towards everything else as an answer and it always left me feeling emptier than ever!

Funny thing, it turned out the LCMS was where I ended up finding the assurance from God I’d been searching for. It did not depend on how cool the music was, how well I obeyed God, or how current with the culture the church was. In the LCMS, I found rest—rest in Christ.

The things I had been prompted to think were elementary—the cross, forgiveness—were the very things that finally brought me home. I had so much pop culture stuffed down my throat that I no longer wanted to hear it in church.

Today, I revel in the Lutheran liturgy that transcends my culture. I am joyful that Christ comes to me in the Lord’s Supper, rather than me trying to come to Him in an altar call. How can the Gospel be considered elementary? Where else in time and history did God come to earth to die in our place? It’s so amazing that we will still be pondering that in heaven.

Lori (Campbell) Lewis is a former DJ in Orange, California. Currently, she is a homemaker in San Diego, CA.