Ladybug Lies and Sliding Shirts

By Kathy Luder

6 months ago

“This will be so cool! But I can’t wear this,” Molly said, pointing to her McDonald’s uniform. “Can I borrow something? I need to shower.”

“No problem. You shower. I’ll find something,” I said as I pointed her to the bathroom.

My brother John’s friend Brad had just invited us over for a bonfire. Brad is two years older than we are. He graduated this past spring and is headed to college in the fall. He is hunky in the extreme, and last week he flirted with both of us. John hated it. When Brad had called for John that evening, I answered the phone. Before John got on the line, Brad invited Molly and me to come over again.

I was looking through my drawers when Molly yelled from the bathroom, “Can I use your makeup? How about a blow dryer?”

“Use what you want,” I said. “But go easy on the perfume. That’s my mom’s expensive stuff.”

I was thinking about how excited Molly was and decided that I wasn’t that interested in Brad. I would make it my mission to help get Brad to like her. I pulled out my coolest t-shirt, a pink one with a cheesy iron-on that says “Employee of the Month” on it with a very retro-looking flower. It is kind of clingy, so I added a sophisticated lacy shawl my grandmother had given me. I put my blue jean skort that I knew would look good on Molly onto my bed and my jeweled ladybug necklace and earrings next to it. It was a very cute outfit.

When Molly came out, I was already wearing a normal school outfit. I looked nice, but not date-nice. Molly loved the outfit I had for her and was so excited she barely noticed the difference between us, though, to her credit, she did get me to put on a little makeup and add some cute spider earrings (so that we matched in theme).

When we got to the party, all eyes were on Molly—including Brad’s—and she was very happy.

4 months ago

“Can I get my ‘Employee of the Month’ shirt back?” I asked Molly at lunch. “I thought it was with the skort and stuff you brought back, but it wasn’t there.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I saw it my drawer. It must have gotten mixed up in the laundry. I’ll bring it tomorrow,” she said.

1 month ago

“Molly? I still don’t have that shirt. I wanted to wear it tonight,” I said into the answering machine at Molly’s house.

1 week ago

“Kathy, stop bugging me about that shirt. I don’t have it. I gave it back to you with the rest of the clothes,” Molly said. She was looking at the table while she talked and rubbing her temples.

“It wasn’t there,” I said, a bit shocked. “You told me you saw it in your drawer.”

“I didn’t say that.You misunderstood me. I only said that I would look in my drawers for it. I looked. It’s not there. Give me a break,” she said.

“Okay. I’ll look for it again.” But I knew what I heard. My shirt was gone.

Yesterday

“Molly called,” my mom said from the sink as I walked in the door. “She wants you and John to come over to Brad’s tonight for a bonfire.” I sat down at the kitchen table. “It’ll be cold,” she said, “so take a sweater.”

I looked out the window and said, “I’m not going.”

“Why not?” she asked.

I didn’t answer.

She stopped drying the glass in her hand and walked toward the table. “Well?” she asked.

She stood there with her hands on her hips. I knew she wouldn’t let up so I said, “It’s complicated.”

“Fine,” she said, “don’t go,” and walked back to the sink.

“Molly stole my shirt,” I said.

“Oh, no. Not your shirt!” She feigned horror, leaning back, with her hand on her forehead.

“It’s not the shirt, Mom. She lied.”

“Not a lie!” she said, continuing with her drama voice. “You’ll never survive it. My little girl is all grown up and already destroyed by a shirt and lie!”

“This isn’t a joke! She lied right to my face. I liked that shirt,” I said a bit too loud. More quietly I went on, “But I would’ve given it to her if she’d asked. I tried to make her look cute! I tried to help her and she stole from me!” I could feel tears making their way to my eyes and my chest getting tight. I looked away.

“You have to make a decision, Kathy,” she said. “What is more valuable? Your friendship or your pride?”

“I know, but...” I paused. “What do you mean?”

“Friends lie to one another. Sometimes you have to call your friend on it, and sometimes you have to let it slide.”

“Let it slide?”

“Yeah. Just forget about it. So Molly lied about something stupid and fairly insignificant. That shirt isn’t worth much. Turn the other cheek. You love her and your friendship, so let it slide to keep her from being embarrassed.”

“Just like that?” I asked.

“Just like that,” she said, returning to her dishes. “Or you can let it fester and grow. It can be a huge silent grudge, and you’ll never really be friends again, because you’ll be secretly angry with her and won’t trust her. Or you could confront her. You might even get the shirt back. But she’ll probably never forget the embarrassment. Then she’ll hold a grudge. Sometimes you have to do that. Sometimes you have to risk the friendship, like forcing an alcoholic to go to the hospital.”

My mom stopped with the dishes again and looked right at me. I didn’t say anything. She sighed and turned back to the sink. She said, “Friends are hard to come by. If you want to keep Molly and think this really was just a stupid thing that she didn’t mean and doesn’t know how to get out of without looking stupid, then don’t ask her to. Accept the lie. Forget about it. Let it slide.”

“Mom,” I said, “this doesn’t sound like you at all. You hate lies.”

“Of course I hate lies. But this is the way we liars live with one another. This is the way of marriage, of in-laws, and getting along with co-workers. We can’t call everyone on everything. That would make us the worst hypocrites of all.” She paused again. Then she said, “Have you always told one-hundred percent of the truth to Molly? Haven’t you sometimes stretched it a bit out of embarrassment or to try and impress her?”

“No!” I said, standing up. “I haven’t.”

“Oh yes, you have. I heard you do it last week,” she said calmly. “I overheard your conversation with Molly last Friday. Was she inviting you to a bonfire?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I don’t remember,” I said, looking back out the window.

Without changing her voice, my mom said, “That is another one.”

She opened the cupboard above the sink to put away a dish. She went on, “You remember. You just don’t want to say it because it was a lie.”

“It wasn’t a lie. It was true,” I said, and then a bit quieter, “mostly.”

She snorted. “Well, ‘mostly’ doesn’t cut it. Do you think Molly knew it was only ‘mostly’ true?”

“Probably.” I stuck my hands in my pockets. “She usually knows. It is hard to keep things from her.”

“That’s good. That’s because she is your friend. But she still called and invited you today, didn’t she? She let it slide.”

“But this was a shirt, not just a lame excuse. I told a slight, white lie. Her lie was blatant. She stole my shirt!” I sat back down and looked out the window again.

“Okay,” she said.

She came over the table, sat down, and laid her towel across her lap. “You’re right, Kathy. There is a distinction here, a matter of degree. So you have to make a decision. Is it such a lie that you can no longer trust her? Or was it out of character and simply from embarrassment?” She took my hand and made me look at her. She said, “Is that shirt, is that lie worth your friendship?”

Today

So I let it slide. I decided I would pretend I had given her the shirt. I turned the other cheek and forgave her and went to the bonfire and had fun.

Before I went to bed last night I prayed the Lord’s Prayer. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” brought me comfort like never before. I slept like a baby for the first time in a week.

Kathy Luder hates to be underdressed even though she feels superior to fashion. She mostly wears T-shirts and jeans but she has, on occasion, worn a dress to school.You can e-mail her at KathyLuder@hotmail.com.