Carol Cooks, Ann Talks

from June 2022: The Laurel Magazine

by The Laurel Magazine of Highlands NC and Cashiers NC

A Magical Decade

Carol Misner and Ann Huckstep

The story of Ann Huckstep and Carol Misner spans decades and, like all of the best tales, relies upon twists and turns and the enduring power of love.

Alove story more than 30 years in the making – it’s the glorious and open-hearted love story of Ann Huckstep and Carol Misner.

And it starts with a flashback – at a gymnasium at a high school in Sandy Springs, Georgia, when math teacher Carol Misner (then named Umphrey) first encountered the 11th grade student Ann Huckstep. When Ann tried to register for Algebra II and was told enrollment was full, Carol, one of the school’s most adored instructors, stepped in and, recognizing her as the sister of one of her brightest students, offered her a place in her class. The year was 1969, an era of turmoil, the Vietnam war, the Civil Rights conflict and, as Ann recalls, “It was a rough time. Mrs. Umphrey was someone who took interest in her students, she urged them on, she listened.” Carol vividly remembers her students from that period. They were as she said a “vibrant group.” She was particularly impressed with Ann and her intelligence, and they became close, talking through problems. It was the beginning of a relationship that was admiration at first sight. But three months later, Ann’s family moved to Clarksdale, Mississippi. The next spring, they saw each other when Ann returned to visit Sandy Springs. It would be 30 years before they spoke or saw each other again. In the years that followed, Ann went on to college at Ole Miss and then law school at Vanderbilt and started practicing law in Birmingham. She became a partner at a major law firm early on in her career and was a recognized civic leader in the community. When her mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness in 1981 (she died in 1987), Ann sought therapy to resolve her grief. During sessions, she told her therapist that she admired “women of authority” because in that era they were thought of as second-class citizens, and she spoke of the two teachers who had influenced and brought meaning to her life – each a woman Huckstep admired for possessing her own authority and being guided by it in life. The therapist urged her to seek them out and thank them. In due course she thanked her instructor at Ole Miss, but finding Carol was a dilemma. Since she had last seen her, Carol had given birth to a son and adopted a daughter, divorced, assumed her maiden name, and taught in colleges in Oklahoma, California, and Arizona. In the mid-90s she started using technology in the classroom and presenting at the League of Innovations. In 2001, while working in Colorado, she was invited to deliver a presentation to the US Department of Education in Washington. In preparation for the visit, she connected with one of her students from her days teaching in Sandy Springs. The student,

Richard Tubb, Carol, and Ann in Normandy, 2002 L to R: Ann, Carol, daughter Lorna, daughter-in-law Christiane, son Clint and grandaugher Jae (center) Birmingham, 2012

knowing that Ann had been looking for Misner years before, put them in touch. A few days later Ann picked up the phone in her office, and heard, “You probably don’t remember me, my name is Carol Misner, you knew me as Carol Umphrey.” For the next four months they talked on the phone, growing closer. They decided to meet in Birmingham, Alabama, for Easter weekend, and spend a low-key weekend at Callaway Gardens. With that weekend came an immediate connection and, in the fall of 2001, Carol quit her job in Colorado and moved in with Ann in Birmingham. They bought a house together at Smith Lake and started making up for the 30 years of not knowing where each other were.

Ann encouraged Carol to devote her time to developing her art – to do what she wanted for love, not money. Mentored by designer Richard Tubb, Carol developed her unique and recognizable style. Her botanical paintings soon found an avid audience and by 2007 she was the best-selling artist in the state. More successes followed. In 2012, the couple founded nonprofit Living in Limbo Inc, and were the presenting sponsors for Living in Limbo: Lesbian Families in the Deep South at Birmingham’s Civil Rights Institute. The “exhibition boldly put a face on a previously invisible community and attracted 17,000 visitors in six weeks.”

The exhibition ultimately toured cities across the nation from Los Angeles to Miami, and inspired Carol and Ann to produce the full length documentary Alabama Bound, which continues to air on PBS.

After a four-year process, weaning herself from her duties at the law firm, Ann finally retired in 2013 and they bought a house in Highlands. They married in the rotunda of the Civil Rights Institute on March 14, 2015 (fittingly for a mathematician on Pi Day), shortly after gay marriage was, at last, declared legal. When the presiding judge of the Federal District Court in Alabama declared, “By the powers vested in me by the state of Alabama, I pronounce you married,” the throng of 200 attendees broke out in whoops and hollers. For nearly all, it was the first time they had attended a gay wedding. They have deep admiration for each other’s talents and generosity – and are bound by a mutual love of community and service. Recently settled in their new home, they entertain frequently, and neighbors tell them they have made a difference bringing people together. Ann serves on the Highlands-Cashiers Land Trust Board and Carol is President of Mountain Findings and on the Bascom board.

As a couple they are like still and sparkling water. As Ann says, “I draw her out – out into the world with other people where she might otherwise be happy at home painting. I am going to talk your ear off, and Carol likes to listen.” Or as Misner put it, “Carol does the cooking and Ann does the talking and it just works out really well.”

by Marlene Osteen

Irecently saw Nomadland, a film starring Frances McDormand and David Strathairn. It won the Golden Globe Best Motion Picture, Drama/Western, 2021. I was so moved by it, I wrote the following poem/song. The movie was/ is a social study of American homelessness. Destitute people, unable to survive where they are, roam the nation in an effort to find a place to plant. Sometimes we stumble upon our most powerful, meaningful life while we are on the move.

Teeny Tiny Trailer

The Teeny Tiny Trailer

(That’s How Our Mama Rolled)

My mama bought a trailer In 1969 We pulled it ‘round the country Through the oak, palmetto, and pine

We’d sing a song ‘bout hurricanes While skies were dark and mistin’. Whistle tunes ‘bout love ‘n’ naughty Things when Mama wasn’t list’nin’.

That Teeny Tiny Trailer Was barely 8 by 10 Bunkbeds floor to ceiling, bathroom Bucket made of tin

Mama claimed the lower bunk Sister claimed the upper I crashed on the floor, feet out the door Sneakin’ my second supper.

Mama’s funky trailer compass Always pointed Roam North and South, East and West, NanTucket, then to Nome

Add a few more stickers, Sis, I’ll polish up her chrome” . . . Mama’s Teeny tiny trailer that We called our second home

When Mama died, that camper Sat rustin’ in her yard, but In ’85 it revived, as I hammered out its scars . . . now

I take my fam’ly riding, trailer’s Filled with Mama’s soul. We sing of heroes, tell bad jokes It’s how our Mama rolled.

by Donna Rhodes illustration by Norma Jean Zahner

Crypto: Investment or speculation?

With cryptocurrencies so much in the news, you might be wondering if you should invest in them. But “invest” may not be the right word – because, in many ways, cryptocurrencies, or “crypto” for short, are more speculation than investment. But what’s really the difference between a speculator and an investor? Probably the main factor is the differing views of time. A true investor is in it for the long term, building a portfolio that, over many years, can eventually provide the financial resources to achieve important goals, such as a comfortable retirement. But speculators want to see results, in the form of big gains, right now – and they’re often willing to take big risks to achieve these outcomes.

There’s also the difference in knowledge. Investors know that they’re buying shares of stock in a company that manufactures products or provides services. But many speculators in cryptocurrency don’t fully comprehend what they’re buying – because crypto just isn’t that easy to understand. Cryptocurrency is a digital asset, and cryptocurrency transactions only exist as digital entries on a blockchain, with the “block” essentially being just a collection of information, or digital ledgers. But even knowing this doesn’t necessarily provide a clear picture to many of those entering the crypto world. In addition to time and understanding, two other elements help define cryptocurrency’s speculative nature: • Volatility – Cryptocurrencies are subject to truly astonishing price swings, with big gains followed by enormous losses – sometimes within a matter of hours. What’s behind this type of volatility? Actually, several factors are involved. For one thing, the price of Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies depends heavily on supply and demand – and the demand can skyrocket when

media outlets and crypto “celebrities” tout a particular offering. Furthermore, speculators will bet on crypto prices moving up or down, and these bets can trigger a rush on buying and selling, again leading to the rapid price movements. And many purchasers of crypto, especially young people, want to see big profits quickly, so when they lose large amounts, which is common, they often simply quit the market, contributing to the volatility. • Lack of regulation – When you invest in the traditional financial markets, your transactions are regulated by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), and the firms with which you invest are typically overseen by the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA). Other agencies are also involved in regulating various investments. These regulating bodies work to ensure the basic fairness of the financial markets and to prevent and investigate fraud. But cryptocurrency exchanges are essentially unregulated, and this lack of oversight has contributed to the growth of “scam” exchanges, crypto market manipulation, excessive trading fees and other predatory practices. This “Wild West” scenario should be of concern to anyone putting money in crypto. The cryptocurrency market is still relatively new, and it’s certainly possible that, in the future, crypto can become more of an investment and less of a speculation. In fact, Congress is actively considering ways to regulate the cryptocurrency market. But for now, caveat emptor – “let the buyer beware.” This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Financial Advisor. Edward Jones, Member SIPC

Todd Holder

Why Chiropractic Care?

Chiropractors offer a wide suite of options for the treatment of pain and neuro/muscular dysfunctions.

Dr. Sue Aery

Why would someone choose to see a chiropractic physician? Many people ask this question and don’t really know the answer, so let’s get to the details! A chiropractic physician is just that – a physician who is medically trained for four years, just the same as a medical doctor. The training and education is comprehensive, spanning the entire human body, anatomy, physiology, neurology, pharmacology, microbiology, and the list goes on! The focus or specialty of a chiropractor is every joint in the human body, not just the spine. We are actually considered a neuro/musculoskeletal specialist. This means that we know the function of each joint – from head to toe – including the spine and it’s very special and delicate movements. Our skills are honed on fellow students for that four-year period and then on clinical patients. We are taught a very special skill set by using our hands and special tools to “adjust” each of those joints, knowing the limitations and normal movements of each one to help the body restore function and heal naturally. Depending on the severity of the “dysfunction or injury” we will either set up a special treatment plan for you to take you through the healing process or we will refer you to the appropriate specialist if your situation is beyond our specialized scope. Our goal is to facilitate the body’s natural process of healing from an injury or pain process, without surgical or medical intervention. This means we are non-invasive, and we allow the body to take its natural course without blocking the process through prescription medications. If given the proper tools, the body has an amazing ability to do this on its own, with just some help and direction.

The process may take a bit longer than we would like, but it usually proves to be more permanent and preventive in the process. Most arthritic conditions ensue due to neglect and lack of knowledge of how the body works! By taking a proactive approach, many degenerative changes can be avoided and the joints can continue to move freely and without pain! If you have pain in any joint, seek a chiropractor to evaluate the problem and move you into a healing direction sooner rather than later! Life is way more fun without Pain!

by Dr. Sue Aery, Aery Chiropractic & Acupuncture

The Pilates Method

Embracing Pilates allows you to harness your core strength for a better, happier life.

Alexandra Warren is a certified Pilates instructor and has been teaching in Charlotte since 2007. She is excited to now be part of Cashiers Yoga Fusion and Wellness where she teaches private, one-on-one Pilates Reformer sessions and group mat classes.

by Alexandra Warren

Joseph Pilates said: “Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness.” When people ask me about Pilates, I describe it as a system of exercises, executed with control and mindfulness, which enable us to do just about any daily activity more efficiently, from walking, to lifting and carrying things. The center of the body, consisting of stomach, hips, lower back and buttocks, make up the “powerhouse,” which is critical to good posture and alignment. Pilates strengthens this powerhouse resulting in overall spinal health. It was designed to work directly with the deepest muscles in the body, creating a strong core without the pain associated with conventional exercises.

Mat exercises are only one part of the system of Pilates, and do not require any additional tools. However, working with the “Magic Circle” or Pilates ring, helps students to draw deeper into the midline and find their powerhouse muscles. Beyond the mat and ring, Pilates incorporates apparatus, such as the reformer, cadillac, high chair or ladder barrel. The reformer has the added benefit of a spring system which adds resistance to work muscles through all three contractions (concentric, eccentric and isometric). Key elements to the most successful Pilates sessions, regardless if executed on the mat or the apparatus, are concentration, control, center, precision, fluidity and breath (the six key principles of Pilates). Joseph Hubertus Pilates was born in Germany in 1883 and initially taught what he called “Contrology” after immigrating to New York City in 1926. While most people were not familiar with the method, many of Pilates’ earliest students (first generation teachers) opened their own studios and began to introduce it to a wider range of the population. Athletes like Tom Brady, Tiger Woods and Lebron James incorporate Pilates into their training programs because it strengthens and tones muscles, provides flexibility and balance and unites the body and mind. Instead of creating bulky, stiff muscles, it produces lengthened muscles and internal strength. Instead of experiencing aches and pains, it creates a feeling of well-being and gracefulness. Pilates is for all ages and body types including bodies with physical limitations like osteoporosis, neck/shoulder/low back injuries and hip/knee surgeries. Pregnant women and the elderly also strongly benefit from a Pilates regimen. Whether you are physically active or a couch potato, Pilates will make you more mentally and physically productive, streamline your shape and reduce stress and fatigue.

The History of Botox

A careful, wise approach to botox therapy can rejuvenate the face and the spirit. To find out if it’s right for you, call (828) 526-1232 or visit highlandsdermatology.com.

Michael Schoonover

Ifind that looking back in history helps us in our understanding of most topics. If we look back 80 years, the active ingredient in Botox (Botulinum Toxin Type A) was isolated in the 1940s from the bacteria Clostridium botulinum – which is the pathogen responsible for botulism, a notorious paralytic illness. This toxin was isolated, purified, and received its first FDA cleared treatment in 1989 for muscle spasms of the eyelid called blepharospasm. When the ophthalmologist applied Botox to the glabellar region (the skin between the eyebrows) he noticed it helped with fine lines and wrinkles. In 2002 FDA clearance was granted for the first cosmetic use of Botox. Now Botox is the most common cosmetic procedure performed, with over 4.4 million Botox treatments being completed in 2020. How Botox works is a common misconception. Many believe that it “fills” fine lines and wrinkles, but that’s not the case. Botox works by blocking neurotransmitters responsible for muscle activation, essentially paralyzing the muscles responsible for wrinkles. It will take roughly seven days for the Botox to reach its maximum effectiveness and will last roughly four months. The more routinely you receive Botox injections, the more effective they become. The most common injection sites will be the Procures muscle (frown lines), the Corrugator and Frontalis muscles (forehead lines), Orbicularis oculi (crow’s feet), and the Nasalis muscle (bunny lines). With cosmetic procedures, less tends to be more. At Highlands Dermatology, we take a step-wise approach, starting at a lower dose and progressing based off of the patient’s desired results. This allows us to make your outcome look as natural as possible. Come into your local Highlands Dermatology clinic for a cosmetic consultation and see if you could benefit from this well-established cosmetic procedure. We’re located at 5526 Cashiers Road, just outside Highlands. You can call us (828) 526-1232 or visit us at highlandsdermatology.com.

by Michael Schoonover, Highlands Dermatology

Bombshell Hair Boutique

Bombshell Hair Boutique has added Katy Munoz to its team of hair-styling artisans. Bombshell Hair Boutique is located at 71 Commons Drive in Cashiers. Call for an appointment at (828) 342-9623.

Carla Gates and Katy Munoz

Most of us understand that a salon recommendation is, actually, an offer of friendship. Which is why, as Bombshell Hair Boutique Owner Carla Gates told me recently, “I want you to have bombshell hair, but I also pride myself in making your time in the salon fun.”

Last December, Carla’s long-time friend and mentee, Katy Munoz, joined the studio. They have a shared viewpoint about the salon – a place where customers can experience the best in hair care and styling – along with a shared history. Katy’s Mom and Carla went to high school together in Highlands and Carla’s son graduated in the same class at Highlands High School as Katy. They both attended cosmetology school in Sylva, and it was Carla that Katy reached out to in 2020 for advice when she was deciding between a career in cosmetology and nursing. Carla urged her to follow her passion for cosmetology, assuring Katy that, “It is hands down the best career I can think of.” As Katy told me, “I jumped at Carla’s encouragement.” Over the next year and a half – during Katy’s schooling – they talked daily. As Carla says, “Katy and I really are the dream team. She came out of cosmetology school and hit the ground running. It usually takes someone years to get to the level of excellence she has already achieved.” In the months since joining Bombshell, Katy has earned the trust and loyalty of the salon’s patrons, many of whom seek her out for her expertise with coloring techniques – including blonding, color correction, and balayage (a process that creates a natural gradation of color). She tells me that the highlight of her job is the bond that she builds with her clients and “the gratitude I see on their faces. “The smiles and laughs I share with my clients every day fuels the exact fire I wanted in my career. I can’t imagine anything that would make me happier.” With bookings through December and an appointment calendar filled with wedding parties and events this summer, it’s clear that the community has responded in kind. When I asked Katy about her plans, she told me she was hoping to soon offer eyelash styling.

by Marlene Osteen

Self-Massage Tools

There’s no glory in pushing through the pain. Be kind to your body.

Ashby Underåwood Garner

When it comes to caring for your body, it’s good to know that healthy soft tissue does not hurt. So should a deep massage or bodywork session feel good or feel painful, or painfully good to be beneficial? Remember the “No Pain-No Gain” mentality in the 80’s? When it comes to the therapeutic approach for musculoskeletal pain and discomfort, the adage of “It’s gotta hurt to work” can make the pain in a localized area more inflamed and uncomfortable.

The fabric of our connective tissue, or fascia, cannot be addressed by rolling on it. The only way to do this is to create layering or lifting, not smashing the tissue to the bone with pressure. Using tools like massage balls over and over in the same place can do more damage than good. The current trend of self-care using massage balls can help us find those knots of tension that might be tender, but is it good to work those out? It is possible with a tool to delve too deep into a specific body area. The questions are: How deep should we go? And how deep is too deep? Tight areas you are feeling are tight for a reason, and massage tools can help us get relief by getting straight to the point. However, if after weeks or months of using tools or battery powered percussion devices you don’t see a change, you may need to find the reason your body is hurting. The pain you feel may be due to overworked tissue or nerve involvement elsewhere in the muscular train. While working tissue under the guise of “massaging it out,” you may sacrifice the balance of the body unknowingly. A tool can’t replace the human hand and the skilled feedback of a bodywork and massage practitioner. People ask me if tennis balls, massage balls, and foam rollers can be beneficial. And they can. But a body lying down is not as aligned an upright body. During our 1:1 sessions, together we can teach you a somatic approach in listening to address your unique body and help you strengthen rather than dismantle. This way you can heal and thrive.

by Ashby Underwood-Garner Yoga Therapist, Rolf Practitioner Owner of Yoga Highlands