Permanent hangout by Hiqs

Permanent hangout Romรกn Villalobos 2014-2015

the truth is that i spent the rest of the evening waiting to become john lurie,

john lurie as the king of sax in the night street, come and save me john!, i wish i was you and i had your voice and could disappear all the time, suddenly it comes to me that i can add your presence to my days john, you will be of use in my battle of life, stupid walking one two one two all around the house, in the street without public transportation, where could it take us anyway?, you are the man john, the buses full as fuck in my worst dreams, john has joined your party, level sixty two, his magic powers, bear surprise powers, fishing powers, you know a shitload of moves, john, things i ignore,

"do you like men or do you like women?",

permanent decisions by john's side, "are you a man or a woman?", i love dogs, "oh, you are sexually attracted to dogs, that's what you're trying to say", why are we bearing with this john?, no one knows who you are and thus you are allowed to fuck up everything, "what's your name?", random characters, my name is all the names,

everything's like in a pynchon's book, screw what's happening in idaho,

screw whatever's happening in the marshall islands, there's an object hidden in a hangar, three ladies without a context, hollow explanations, john lurie's fighting in the middle of the street, john lurie against bus driver, john lurie attacks, oh, john lurie's power spreads all over the panorama, we're free all of a sudden, idiot ghost's got a weird glow on her thighs, as if a slug had gone all over them, idiot ghost laughing at the three girls, or with them as john shares his victory points with us, what is your victory john?, what's it about?, blue sky in idiot ghost's thighs, this world so fragile and distant,

filling up parts of my history with you, idiot ghost,

malevolent editors having conversations in which we're food and sleep, my eyes used to follow your clothes as they went down, everything in between was there to pretend, blue surfaces under the covers, your silly health points coming easy,

there you are,

at every moment you are perceived, someone thinks about your horrible talents, using their eyes to hold a part of you, your presence is always there, like a mood change, you are the news, filthy saxophones choking on their own voices, i am so alone and someone smells you from afar, skins that cannot melt together,

this man's peeing his soul down his miserable dick,

horrid public restrooms all along the avenue, john lurie's secret speech bubbles messing around, investigating, "you can't read whatever the man wrote with his urine", idiot ghost says, "it is not the time", lights fading out slowly, we chose the improper dream, all of the time we pick the wrong melatonin, flashing/blurring lights over eerie signatures,

they’re reviewing the best goals of the weekend, i change the channel,

a documentary about dinosaurs is over, i change the channel, there’s a pink tired sunset out the window, once more, pictures of a mature woman in my computer, everything is possible, i’ll never get too far this way, once again, changing channels without noticing what they’re showing, exercise the remote, exercise my small vices, i wear glasses that modify the color scheme, the woman is showing everything to me and whoever downloads a hundred twenty five megabytes, a zip file with more than two hundred pictures, i change the channel and they could be streaming the outright epiphany, this vision of me traveling to isolated places, but i don’t lie to myself,

how does breakdown looks like when you get older?,

i wish i'd gone through different teenage years, "don't we all?", says idiot ghost, i want to break her tea cup while she's still holding it, "sometimes you can see colors crawling back when you turn down the tv", she says, "they all hide like screeching demons gazing at jesus, a live jesus coming down the street, caressing little boys, fucking with peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s senses and absorbing colors of buildings", "weren't you talking about colors in the first place?", is that john lurie's REAL voice?, i wonder in awe,

the lowest lows, big boss battles and i am still not ready,

will i ever be able to do what i want to do?, tons of poetry, failed and famed metaphors just to ask the same, i can't even feel the right time, the exact origin of john's ache, but idiot ghost's crying on the floor, grizzly bears leak silently into the battle, will i ever be able to buy a house?, will i have a job that pays the rent?,

being ignored on sundays, holy sundays,

being assaulted, robbed, being punished, having to put down offers from good sweet people, heirs of the honeycomb empire, being their own priests if needed,

screeching demons came to my mind tonight like in a rush,

i watched videos of angry people fighting with skater kids, and we were all singing, and i remembered the time of thrift stores, i could've bought a nice dress for idiot ghost, could've got a decent pipe for john lurie, the corniest blueboy songs, and also the coldest, heartless ones, maybe idiot ghost rejoining my party, coming in and out of my party, coming inside my brain,

did i go to skate parks when i was younger?, "what is the answer?",

lightless colonies won't react to my commands, and yet i've lost the will to stop, intermitent neon messages, disrupted words and all the girlfriends from all the boys and girls in town, and all the boyfriends, practically every couple,

jokes about me and i'm hearing gunshots nearby, in this song they're yelling

"what's the matter?" and i DON'T KNOW!, we can't get inside, the concept of inside is broken for us, not a single door can be closed by our hands, and i am concerned because someone might be recording a film, but what's a film without, you know, continuity errors, gunshots starting and ending, now the song is over and it comes alive again, john's health in my hand, concepts of john in my hand,

sickness might never come again, but it could also serve as the asylum,

hiding place for the mentally ill, i heard bowie singing the word "bitch" many times, john lurie finally got a taxi cab for us, and idiot ghost's wishes wander in between, i don't know what wishes are made of, loose sensibilities, i don't know how does one starts building wishes, like they're mansions hosting tiny adolescent creatures that soon destroy themselves, i don't know shit but still i am outside and still i crumble, still i am being a part of anything and everything,

i'm sorry for being sick, for telling the truth during the adventure,

we haven't talked about the city, we're out, moving, harmony's broken for us and i remember my dates with the girls i loved, they move me around and i can't increase my experience, i'm the weakest character, i've the weakest role, i almost always stand back or write during battles, there's someone in my memory constantly yelling that i've made it but i haven't done anything,

fucked up taxi speakers, idiot ghost sticks up cigarettes up her lips,

fucking john lurie drives like he’s in a rollercoaster and nobody walks the avenue, and why can’t we get out of the avenues?, and why can’t we get out of the violence?, and why can’t we just get out of our constant making questions?, and idiot ghost’s flesh like a steak when she’s burn by a cigarette and then another, roooooollercoaster, says stupid john; rooo oooller coaster,

just before a long long trip i’ve the whole city above me,

the dead euphoria of things, just before a long long trip i’m being silent, the quietness in the city of guns, the pink glow of the building, john lurie’s steps one two three four, again!, one two three four, his stone-shooting feet, the rhythm of his dancing, one two three four in the city of the sudden police sirens,

the dismantled origin of idiot ghost,

the secrets of idiot ghost over the warm skin, some pros for us, not all of them, because we aren’t that important, because when we say “we can’t get in, we can’t close the doors, we can’t be inside” no one loses their mind, except us, with the hazy stories, the gunshots around us, from the center of this body we all form together,

what are the colors that we have?,

colors that aren’t really needed, john says we’ve been moving in circles all this time, risking our lives but in circles around this tangled city, and then our first days will come, people will know who we are, people will know who john lurie is and they’ll know that i write, with frozen hands in the city of the scream, but they won’t know why i write, but they will know that i write, and they’ll know who we are, but they won’t know why we are, but they will know our names, will they know that i write?,

and what are the colors that we have?,

but they will know who we are, a secret finally revealed, not the answer but the secret itself, will they know who we are?,

but will they know who we are?,