Life coaching: Getting on with each other

During the lockdown many of us have experienced a real sense of isolation, and some of us may have lost confidence in interacting with others; a little ‘rusty’ in the art of casual conversation.

As we emerge from lockdown, we will all need to adapt to the ‘new normal’ and relearn how we can easily mix with other people, while continuing to maintain that crucial social distance.

In NLP, we talk about ‘Mirroring’ and ‘Matching.’ People tend to like people who are like themselves, so when we mirror those we are communicating with, we build rapport and emphasise the connection between us.

Can you remember the last time you had a conversation with someone who was paying scant attention to what you were saying? Perhaps they were looking in the opposite direction when you were talking to them, didn’t make eye contact and just seemed at odds with you.

Really listening to what people are saying, standing when they stand, sitting when they do and even mirroring their movements can really help us to build rapport with those around us. If you stand or sit the way the other person is standing, you automatically form a connection and signal to them that you value them and are interested in what they are telling you. But remember subtlety is key. If you are too overt, it can look like you are mimicking and will almost certainly break rapport and have the opposite effect.

The Life Coaching column is contributed by Francine Orr. Francine is an NLP coach, hypnotherapist and reiki practitioner. She supports people to find real and practical solutions to the things that hold us back in life. Francine usually works within Linlithgow Chiropractic, but currently working online via Skype, FaceTime or Zoom. Please contact her at francine@orrganise.co.uk