Enneagram Guide by hmboggs

ENNEAGRAM

GUIDE Discover yourself through the Enneagram

INTRO TO THE ENNEAGRAM The purpose of the Enneagram is to build self-awareness, self-wisdom, and to improve interpersonal relationships. “Street” Enneagram, is often focused on the average to unhealthy stereotypes of each type. No shame or shade. I like a good meme about my type too. But if we stop there, we are missing the power of the Enneagram and perpetuating the “that’s just who I am” limiting belief. I’m here to set the record straight on how you can use the Enneagram to tap into your highest self. You are more than just a number. Being able to change behavior is central to any personal growth journey. At the same time, it can be hard to change if we can’t uncover our unconscious behaviors or auto-pilot. We created these behaviors in childhood to protect ourselves from pain and suffering, so we rarely even think about them unless we create the emotional and mental space to observe ourselves and the why behind the behaviors. This is exactly why the Enneagram isn’t scientific. There is no way to measure our internal environment other than putting in the work personally. Many personality typing systems, focus in on behaviors because they are measurable. But the Enneagram is helping you understand the why behind your behaviors. Simon Sinek talks about always starting with why in business. It’s no different with personal growth. Many people stop with identifying their number, or their default operating system (os) in life. When in fact, that is just the beginning. Once you wake up to these unconscious/auto-pilot behaviors you can start to ask yourself how they are serving you and how they are holding you back. We all have limiting beliefs sprinkled throughout our types. The awakening to your type is the first step in the life-time journey. One of my favorite quotes about the Enneagram comes from one of the modern day pioneers, Oscar Ichazo.

“We have to distinguish between a person as they are in essence, and as they are in ego or personality. In essence, every person is perfect, fearless, and in a loving unity with the entire cosmos; there is no conflict within the person between head, heart, and stomach or between the person and others. Then something happens: the ego begins to develop, karma accumulates, there is a transition from objectivity to subjectivity; People fall from essence into personality.”

Bam. I find this to be so powerful. The Enneagram is just one tool that can help you get back to your essential self, but I have to say it’s the best I’ve seen. Part of the why behind my work is a personal mission to allow people to show up as their essential selves. It’s critical that we unravel who we are with who we have been socialized to be. Most of my life coaching clients come to me knowing something is missing, but they don’t know what. Often times it’s because they’ve lost their essence. We have to hold space for this kind of work in our lives and our organizations and support people showing up in all different ways.

Rachel Pritz RACHEL PRITZ

Certified Life Coach | Certified Enneagram Coach

RachelPritz.com • 2

OVERVIEW OF THE 9 TYPES Numbers & Labels

Mediator (Peacemaker)

Challenger (Protector)

Reformer (Perfectionist)

Optimist

Advisor

Guardian

Achiever

(Enthusiast)

(Helper)

(Loyalist)

Thinker (Observer)

(Performer)

Individualist (Creative)

THERE ARE 9 DIFFERENT ENNEAGRAM TYPES. Each type has itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own number, name and sometimes, an alternate name/label. Both type names/labels are correct and can be used interchangeably. The use of one name/label over the other is based purely on personal preference. Type names are used for reference and can help you and others quickly understand and relate to your type without additional context. Throughout this guide, in some instances, you may see only a single type label or name used, however, it is always referring to the type number as a whole.

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 3

ENNEAGRAM FAQ’S IS THE ENNEAGRAM SCIENTIFIC? No. Science is typically measuring the external environment and when you think about behavior based assessments, that’s exactly what they are measuring. What you display externally. The Enneagram is a measurement of the why behind the behaviors which is looking a the internal environment. This is not measurable so we have to listen to the human experience. Millions of people are not wrong. When I guide my clients through the Enneagram and they get tears in their eyes and say, has someone been watching me? This is so spot on, but I didn’t have the words. They aren’t wrong. My personal growth and awakening is not wrong. I also think we have to be willing to believe we don’t have explanations for everything. Sometimes just observing the human experience is enough.

DOESN’T IT PUT YOU IN A BOX WITH A NUMBER? Figuring out the type your number is important, but if you stop there you are missing the depth of this powerful tool. I see people almost over identifying with their type. No shame or shade, I likely did the same thing early on. But the Enneagram is really meant to be a growth tool. Something you use intentionally to reflect and grow through. When there is something about our personality that isn’t working of us anymore, we can actually change it. We can tap into some of the other numbers we have close psychological access to. For example, when I discovered I was a 9 I also discovered how avoiding discomfort at all costs has held me back. I started slowly trying new and uncomfortable things and finding out it wasn’t so bad. In fact it was empowering. I also learned to use my 8 wing and assert myself professionally and personally. That’s how you get out of the box, but you have to put in the work.

CAN YOU CHANGE NUMBERS? You don’t change your core type or your default OS. Now, I’m careful to say never here, because the human personality is complex. I’ve seen people who have experience trauma, either big T or little t that have had so much pain and suffering that they shifted their core personality in childhood or early adulthood. One example was someone who was bullied significantly bullied in high school. When they had the opportunity to go away from college they changed their personality, but I will say that in that

WHICH NUMBER IS THE BEST? The 9 numbers are all neutral. That’s part of the reason why it’s drawn in a circle. When healthy, all the numbers are beautiful human beings to be around. They’ve learned to turn off auto-pilot behavior and live as their highest selves.

CAN YOU BE MULTIPLE NUMBERS? You likely tried on a few of the types in childhood in an effort to protect yourself, but then landed on your core type as a teenager or young adult. The human personality is complex and this can’t be a one size fits all system. The point to the Enneagram is for you to grow out of your core type and to find a more balanced and centered life. If you are introverted naturally more balance for you would be practicing extroversion, for example.

RachelPritz.com • 4

TABLE OF CONTENTS Use this interactive guide to begin understanding your strengths, unique qualities and opportunities for growth. When you see a SQUARE that’s your cue to mark ideas that resonate with you that you want to revisit or remember.

TYPE 1•THE REFORMER/PERFECTIONIST................................................................................................................... 5 TYPE 2•THE ADVISOR/HELPER.................................................................................................................................... 17 TYPE 3•THE ACHIEVER/PERFORMER.........................................................................................................................29 TYPE 4•THE INDIVIDUALIST/CREATIVE.................................................................................................................... 41 TYPE 5•THE THINKER/OBSERVER...............................................................................................................................53 TYPE 6•THE GUARDIAN/LOYALIST............................................................................................................................65 TYPE 7•THE OPTIMIST/ENTHUSIAST.........................................................................................................................77 TYPE 8•THE CHALLENGER/PROTECTOR...................................................................................................................89 TYPE 9•THE MEDIATOR/PEACEMAKER................................................................................................................... 101 APPENDIX.............................................................................................................................................................................113 Stances..................................................................................................................................................................................114 Coping Styles.......................................................................................................................................................................115 DiSC & Myers-Briggs Translation...................................................................................................................................... 116 Feelings Wheel.....................................................................................................................................................................117

Table of Contents

RachelPritz.com • 5

TYPE

1 ONE

THE REFORMER (PERFECTIONIST)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

T YPE O N E

THE REFORMER Principled • Purposeful • Self-Controlled • Perfectionistic

Thinker

Individualist

CORE FEAR They fear being bad, evil, angry, wrong, inappropriate, unqualified, corruptible, irresponsible, condemned, or unredeemable.

“I am reasonable and objective.” Ones are people who are conscientious, sensible, ethical, responsible, idealistic, serious, self-disciplined, orderly, and feel personally obligated to improve themselves and their world.

CORE DESIRE

Ones want to be accurate, thorough, fair, and objective. More importantly, they want to

They desire to have integrity, balance, to be virtuous, ethical, and to be the “good boy or girl.”

principled. They would like others to see them as reliable, responsible, and ethical. Their

be respectable, moral, and appropriate. They see themselves as rational, orderly, and idealized self-image is that they are hardworking and moral. Ones are gifted with a strong sense of purpose and have high ideals. They not only like

MOTIVATIONS

to follow protocol, policies, and procedures, but they find that doing this brings a sense of

Ones want to be right, to have integrity and balance, to strive higher, to improve themselves, others, and the world, to be consistent with ideals, and to be beyond criticism so no one can condemn them.

comfort and ease. They are sincere, honest, and diligent. They like to excel in everything they are responsible for and take pride in doing things well. Above all else, they value honesty, integrity, and objectivity. Conscientious and methodical, they are exceptionally skilled at paying close attention to detail. They are particularly serious people who are constantly striving to improve themselves, others, and the world. Type Ones have an extremely strong and loud “inner critic” relentlessly and constantly telling them what they did wrong and how to improve. This inner critic never lets up and is

DISLIKES Ones do not want to be proven wrong, to make mistakes, to allow sloppiness, to be with people they perceive as lazy or not serious, to be in chaos, in situations that seem out of control, or to display any imbalanced emotions.

rarely encouraging. At times, they can be judgmental and critical of others, telling them what they think is right. They behave this way because they truly want to help people avoid mistakes. They believe that others would appreciate their advice and are surprised when others are hurt or angry when receiving their “helpful” advice. To the One, there is only one way to do things the right way. They feel that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing right. As a result, they are only satisfied when something matches their ideal. So, they naturally educate others

WORK STYLE Quality performer

to help them improve themselves and to accomplish the ideal. Life for them is about adhering to their inner critic’s standards above all else. They do desire to be able to have more fun, but this is hard for them to do unless they are on

LEADERSHIP STYLE Organizer, Stabilizer

COMMUNICATION STYLE Teaching, preaching, informing, telling, educating and elevating.

Enneagram Profile • Type 1

vacation. When they are not on vacation, their inner critic will tell them all the things they should be doing instead of having fun. Privately, they will criticize themselves for their shortcomings far more than they will ever criticize anyone else. It is helpful if others recognize how painful it is to live with their inner critic. Because they can be so hard on themselves, they long for positive feedback, serenity, and to be seen as a good person.

RachelPritz.com • 7

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“IDEALIST”

“ADVOCATE”

Type One with Nine wing — 1w9

Type One with Two wing — 1w2

They tend to be cooler, more relaxed, introverted,

They tend to be warmer, more helpful, critical, fiery,

cerebral, impersonal, objective, and detached.

vocal, sensitive, action-oriented, and controlling.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Wings are the two personality types on either side of the main personality type. You have close psychological access to both numbers on either side of your core number. You likely use one more than the other. When you can learn to tap into some of the positive qualities of your wings, you can grow. Some clients will say they use one at work and one more at home, but that is not always the case.

Enneagram Profile • Type 1

RachelPritz.com • 8

LEVELS OF DEVELOPMENT The levels of development are a great way to check in with ourselves. You can move throughout these levels in the same day, but the goal is to remain the in the healthy levels around 75% of the time. Most people land in the average to below average category but as you grow and develop, you’ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Ones are fully living out their identity. It is here where they realize that they have obtained

HE ALTHY

their core desire - to be good and have integrity. At this level, they are extraordinarily wise and discerning. By accepting life as it is, they are realistic and know the best action to take in every moment. 2.

They are conscientious with strong personal convictions. They have an intense sense of right and wrong and have high moral standards. They wish to be rational, reasonable, self-disciplined, mature, and moderate in all things.

They are extremely principled, always want to be fair, objective, and ethical. Truth and justice are primary values for them. They have a strong sense of responsibility, personal integrity, and higher purpose.

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

As they begin to wander away and think they have to live in their own strength, they become dissatisfied with reality, high-minded idealists, and feel that it is up to them to improve everything. They see themselves as crusaders, advocates, and critics. They get involved in causes and explain to others how things should to be.

5. They are afraid of making a mistake, so everything must be consistent with their ideals. They become well-organized but impersonal, puritanical, emotionally constricted, and rigidly keep their feelings and impulses in check. At this level, they often become punctual, fastidious, and a workaholic. 6. Feeling alone in their principles, they become critical, picky, judgmental, and perfectionistic. They are very opinionated about everything, which leads to them correcting people and badgering others to do the right thing-as they see it. They are impatient and never satisfied with anything unless it is done according to their precise directions. They become moralizing, scolding, and abrasive.

They start to believe they are an orphan alone in life. At this level, they become highly dogmatic, self-

UNHE ALTHY

righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. They start thinking in absolutes and believe that they alone know ‘The Truth.” To them everyone else is wrong. They become extremely judgmental, while rationalizing their own wrong thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 8. Ones at this level become obsessive about the imperfections and the wrong-doings of others. But at the same time, they may be a hypocrite, doing the opposite of what they preach. 9.

Their impatience is so great that they become condemnatory, punitive, and cruel toward others to rid themselves of these “wrong-doers.” They can experience severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicidal attempts. An unhealthy Type One generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders.

Enneagram Profile • Type 1

RachelPritz.com • 9

LINES & ARROWS The inner lines that you see in the Enneagram symbol are the roads or paths that lead to our growth or stress. Learn which paths are the best for you and which ones you need to be aware of so you don’t veer off course. If you find that you are headed in the wrong direction, call a time out. Reflect on what is going on in your life and course correct.

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 1 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 4

• Type 1 moves toward Healthy side of Type 4

• They feel indignant that expectations are not achieved by themselves and others. • They turn their anger inward and become depressed.

• Ones need to learn most from the healthy side of Type Four and listen to and trust their own unconscious impulses and tap into their inspirations, creativity, and passions.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 1 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 7

• Type 1 moves toward Healthy side of Type 7

• They become more playful and uninhibited with those they feel safe. • This secure atmosphere gives them permission to let their “silly side” out, along with a wide range of other emotions.

• They become less critical and more selfaccepting. • They become more enthusiastic and optimistic. • They have more fun and are more spontaneous.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Ones believe that it is their obligation and responsibility to fix and improve

A One’s primary focus of attention is seeing

the world since it is full of imperfections.

errors, mistakes, and problems that need

•

Ones believe that everything can be done in a perfect, orderly, and systematic way. This is why they follow particular procedures to ensure that they do each task with correct precision.

•

fixing. It is more accurate to say that they are not seeking out imperfection, but imperfection leaps out at them.

Since they fear being blamed, punished, or criticized by their inner critic and

When imperfection grabs a One’s attention,

other people, they strive for perfection in every area so no one (including

they will have a visceral reaction. They

their inner critic) will have a reason to point out imperfections or mistakes.

cannot relax until the problem or mistake is

Ones become irritated with people because they don’t feel that others work as hard as they do to bring about improvements. They feel that it is solely up to them and think, “Why don’t people care as much as I do and leave everything up to me to fix? It’s not fair!”

Enneagram Profile • Type 1

fixed. If the problem or mistake is not given the attention needed, the One will be unable to stop thinking about it. It will weigh on them constantly until it is resolved.

RachelPritz.com • 10

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 1 ONES IN RELATIONSHIPS

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

Looking for: Shared purpose, values, equality, fairness, and

Ones appear well-balanced and confident, but they can

integrity.

suffer from extreme self-criticism, feeling that they are never

•

What gets in the way: Insisting on being right at the expense of their connection with others. Manipulating others by correcting them and playing on their sense of guilt and inadequacy

•

Holding the partner to strict standards that the partner does not wholeheartedly share.

•

Having difficulty finding a partner because of unrealistic

they can feel lonely and alienated from others, seeing themselves as the only responsible adult around. At such times they feel burdened by their responsibilities and by the sense that others will not do as thorough a job as they will. If these feelings intensify, Ones can become harsh with themselves and others and can fall prey to hidden depression. They may attempt to

standards—finding that no one “measures up.”

maintain an outer attitude of self-control and reserve while

Becoming uncommunicative, depressed, and moody

more isolated, their self-criticism can become cruel and

because of their repressed anger.

irrational. Few casual observers would suspect how much

Not allowing enough “play time” in the relationshipfeeling that all spare time must be used for serious purposes (e.g., chores, finances, reading educational or “meaningful” books, discussing political issues, etc.).

•

able to measure up to their own high standards. Similarly,

They fear receiving criticism from their partner. They also become critical of the partner by being nitpicky, scolding, and correcting them at every turn.

inwardly feeling anguished and alienated. As they become

they are suffering from the relentless attacks of their inner critic.

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME a Please take your part of responsibility seriously so I don’t end up with all of it. a Affirm me when I have been good, excelled, and brought

HOW ONES PARENT

about improvement to life. a Please realize that when I am being outwardly critical, I

•

Ones are very fair and consistent parents.

•

They discipline firmly and divisively.

•

They insist that their children have strong moral values and take their responsibilities seriously.

am actually being harder on myself internally. a My inner critic can be relentless, so remind me that even though things are not perfect, everything is okay. a It would help if you apologize when you are wrong. This helps me to forgive.

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED)

a Help me by gently encouraging me to loosen up and have fun, but after you first hear my concerns.

•

Unconsious: It’’s not ok to make mistakes.

•

Needed message: You are good.

Enneagram Profile • Type 1

a I am very sensitive to criticism, so if you need to point out something, please do so gently.

RachelPritz.com • 11

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 1 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A ONE

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING A ONE

•

I am extremely hard on myself.

•

Feeling that what I do is not good enough.

•

I take on too much responsibility.

•

Having resentment that others are not trying as hard.

•

Obsessing over what I did or what I should be doing.

I am self-disciplined, focused, responsible, principled, and can accomplish a great amount.

•

I work hard to make the world a better place.

•

I have high standards, morals, and ethics. I do not compromise my views to please others.

•

I know how to bring out the best in myself and others.

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Reaction Formation

a The world is imperfect.

•

emotions and behaviors in control is a top priority for

a The world would be a better place if people were more principle-centered & acted from their conscience. a I’ll be condemned if I deviate from my ideals and high standards.

Ones have high standards and principles. Keeping their them. They never want to display emotions that are out of control or inappropriate.

•

When an unacceptable emotion arises within a One, they

a I can never be out of control (or else I’ll be led astray by strong subconscious impulses and desires).

will conceal it and instead bring up the opposite emotion

a I’ll be severely reprimanded if I make mistakes.

reaction formation.

a I’m responsible for making everything right.

to contradict it. This defense mechanism is called

•

than they are, they will hide their envious emotions (since

a To be loved I must be perfect.

those are bad) and instead praise and celebrate the person.

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES a Appreciate that there is more than one right way to do things and that others’ “wrong” ways a Learn to accept and forgive imperfections in yourself and others.

PRACTICING AWARENESS •

Potential Trigger: I am resentful. I am angry about this. I am feeling critical and defensive.

a Notice your thinking in terms of black or white. Fill in the color gray (or other possibilities).

•

a Notice how you may procrastinate if you are worried about getting everything right down to the detail.

•

a Take time to observe the critical mind in action, and dis-identify with it – use it to remind yourself of your achievements and skills.

If a One is around a person who is better at something

Awareness: Where did I tighten up and lose my ease? Where do I refuse to admit my mistakes? Practicing the work: Take a step back: What is the worst case scenario if things don’t go my way? Do these reactions help or sabotage what I want?

a Put play, pleasure and relaxation on your to do list. a Make “harmless” mistakes on purpose and notice the effect. Ask yourself if making a small mistake is really such a big deal.

Enneagram Profile • Type 1

RachelPritz.com • 12

GUT CENTER (GQ) Instinctual triad

•

The Instinctual Triad or Gut Center contains Types 8, 9, and 1.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their INSTINCTS.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through their gut INSTINCTS.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is anger. Note: Type Nines are asleep to their anger and do not know this is their emotional struggle.

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting JUSTICE.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

Healthy Ones are able to exhibit wisdom and conviction because they have the ability to be impartial in circumstance that call for it. They have a clear inner knowing of right and wrong, which allows them to be fair-minded, reasonable, and guided by these principles. Average Ones are resisting and controlling their internal environment, particularly their instincts and aggressions. They repress any part of themselves that does not conform to their ideals, so their inner life will be orderly and consistent. They get angry with themselves as an attempt to “keep themselves in line.” Unfortunately, they can also be aggressive with others when they feel that their self-control is being threatened by another’s behavior.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SELF-PRESERVATION

SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#1 Subtype • Worry

#1 Subtype • Non-adaptability

#1 Subtype • Zeal (Counter-type)

• This subtype represents a true perfectionist. • Their anger is repressed and mainly aimed inward. They strive for perfection in all areas, for example: eating preferences, exercise, and maintaining the household budget.

• This subtype is perfect as opposed to being a perfectionist. They pride themselves in finding the “right way” to do something or having the perfect stance. • They can be very inspiring to others and can be great teachers.

• The defense mechanism for a One is reaction formation, which transforms the One’s anger into warmth and friendliness toward others.

• They can also be quite rigid and hold fast to what they think is the right way, failing to making room for other’s interpretations or perspectives.

• They are neat, structured, punctual, and have a need to control chaos.

• Their anger helps them to be “perfect” for others to model after.

• They carefully plan out their lives.

• They have a teacher mentality that can lead to a sense of superiority.

Enneagram Profile • Type 1

• This subtype is more accurately described as reformers (focusing on perfecting others and society) than perfecting themselves. • This subtype expresses their anger more than the other two subtypes in order to improve others and get what they want. • They believe they have the right and obligation to change society because they believe they “know“ the right way it should be and needs to be. • This counter-type can appear like a Type Eight because they are more impulsive and express their anger outwardly.

RachelPritz.com • 13

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a One, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to find and correct errors, flaws and omissions that others overlook a The ability to notice what is illogical, inconsistent, impractical or inefficient a The ability to inspect products, services, or processes to evaluate their quality or performance a The ability to enforce policies and procedures and speak up against dishonesty/unfairness a The ability to detect when someone is being untruthful a The ability to use good common sense and take a realistic, pragmatic approach to life a The ability to do precise, meticulous, accurate, high quality work (impeccable workmanship) a The ability to do what I say I will do a The ability to prioritize and manage my time well so that I can be efficient and productive a The ability to exercise rational judgment and objectivity when making decisions a The ability to heed my conscience when making decisions a The ability to build trust with people with my strong sense of integrity and hard work ethic a The ability to discipline myself to achieve my goals a The ability to focus and concentrate on a work task a The ability to set, plan, organize and achieve goals a The ability to behave appropriately and be polite and well-mannered a The ability to sacrifice immediate, personal gratification for the greater good of all a The ability to improve myself and my work overtime (a commitment to excellence) a The ability to follow rules, procedures and policies (as long as they are fair and ethical!) a The ability to promote honesty, fairness, righteousness and evenhandedness in others a The ability to model integrity by living in alignment with my values (when very healthy)

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 1

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 14

VALUES Identify 5-7 values that are dearest to you. Not the values of your family of origin, or your partner, or your parents, or your boss, or your profession, or what you think you SHOULD value. What do YOU, the person you were born to be, hold true in this world. What hills will you die on? No wrong answer here. If you believe it in your heart and live it out, you will create more joy in your work and life.

WORK VALUES Some of the work values important to Ones are: (Mark which ones apply to you)

a Accuracy

a Loyalty

a Sense of Accomplishment

a Challenge

a Moral Fulfillment

a Sense of Duty

a Commitment to Excellence

a Ongoing Learning

a Sense of Mission

a Competence

a Organization

a Service

a Contribution (to the World)

a Perseverance

a Structure

a Fairness

a Respect

a Trust

a Helping People

a Responsibility

a Honesty and integrity

a Self-Discipline

LIFE VALUES Some of the life values important to Ones are: (Mark which ones apply to you)

a Accomplishment

a Hard work ethic

a Propriety

a Civility

a Justice

a Prudence

a Commitment to excellence

a Loyalty

a Reliability

a Community

a Meticulousness

a Respect for others

a Competence

a Moderation

a Respectability

a Conscientiousness

a Morality

a Responsibility

a Contribution

a Organization

a Righteousness

a Duty

a Perseverance

a Self-control

a Ethical behavior

a Personal development

a Self-sacrifice

a Fairness

a Personal rectitude

a Trustworthiness

a Faith/spirituality

a Physical fitness / health

a Truthfulness/Honesty

a Family

a Politeness

a Virtue

a Fidelity

a Practicality

a Work/Life Balance

a Financial security

a Precision

a Good manners

a Principles

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 1

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 15

CAREER SATISFACTION As a One, career satisfaction means doing work that.....

a Allows me to work with people who are hardworking, reliable, responsible, competent, ethical and dedicated to doing excellent work. a Allows me to work with a boss who is dependable, fair, consistent and has integrity. a Encourages me to fix or improve things that I naturally notice aren’t working or could be done better. a Allows me to work at my own pace so that I can meet my own high standards for doing the job right, not just getting it done. a Allows me to be precise and meticulous about details. a Rewards competence, conscientiousness, thoroughness and accuracy. a Has meaning and value for me beyond a paycheck. a Does not require me to make pivotal decisions on the basis of fluctuating or partial information. a Doesn’t require that I work under a tight, pressured deadline that might cause me to make mistakes. a Won’t leave me feeling that what I do is never good enough. a Doesn’t requires me to compromise my ethical values!

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 1

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 16

MISSION STATEMENTS As a One, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

a My mission is to empower people to achieve worthwhile purposes through principle-centered living a My mission is to teach that inner peace is there ward of faith, love, morality and service a My mission is to restore the character ethic in people by leading a virtuous, honorable life a My mission is to be an example of integrity, moral rectitude and balanced living for others to emulate a My mission is to fully accept myself as perfect already so that I can fully accept others a My mission is to bring more integrity, justice and fairness into the legal system a My mission is to reform the educational system by implementing multiple intelligences into the school curriculum so that each student can develop his/her unique style of giftedness a My mission is to teach people how to live in alignment with their deepest values a My mission is to prevent unnecessary depletion of the ozone layer

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 1

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 17

TYPE

2 TWO

THE ADVISOR (HELPER)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

CORE FEAR They fear being unloved or unwanted.

CORE DESIRE They desire to feel loved and wanted.

TYPE TWO

THE ADVISOR Generous • Demonstrative • People-pleasing • Possessive

“I am a caring and loving person.” Twos are caring, warm, empathetic, thoughtful, appreciative, generous, other-oriented, affectionate, well-intentioned, and demonstrative. Twos get into conflicts by people-pleasing, flattering others, being possessive, clingy, seductive, self-important, and self-deceptive. At their best, Twos are encouraging, loving, self-nurturing, joyous, humble, forgiving,

MOTIVATIONS They want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them with affection and affirmation.

DISLIKES Twos do not want to be out of touch with loved ones, to be in impersonal settings, to be left out of social situations, to be unable to connect with people in a caring and giving way, or to be in a situation where they cannot serve others. They neither want to recognize their own needs nor ask others for help.

WORK STYLE Helper, Server

gracious, and compassionate. Type Twos exemplify the desire to feel loved, to connect with others in a heartfelt way, and to be a source of kindness and love in our world. Twos are easily the most people-oriented of the Enneagram types. They focus on relationships and feel best about themselves when they are meaningfully engaged with others. They want to share the good in their lives and genuinely enjoy supporting others with their attention and care. When practical work is to be done for others, healthy Twos will be there. Twos are genuinely interested in other people and the details of their lives. They remember to send birthday and holiday cards to their friends even if they have moved away. They are constantly thinking of others, and they try to do nice things so that others will think well of them. Twos get into difficulty, however, when they begin to attend to others’ needs without adequately dealing with their own. They can get into denial about the extent of their own needs while insisting that their only concern is taking care of others. At such times, Twos may develop problems setting up healthy boundaries. They disregard their own boundaries, doing things for others that take them away from what they need to do for themselves, and they disregard the boundaries of others, doing things for others that they do not necessarily want done. When others feel crowded by the Two’s efforts to help them, and try to set boundaries with them, Twos can feel hurt and insecure about the relationship and feel rejected.

LEADERSHIP STYLE Pleaser

COMMUNICATION STYLE Effusive, relational, heartfelt, emotional, helpful, complimentary and managerial.

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

When Twos doubt that others want them or love them, they will redouble their efforts to win people over. They get caught up with “people-pleasing” and look for things to do and say that will make people like them. Talking about “the relationship” with people becomes a habit, as Twos continually seek reassurance that their friendships and relationships are secure and on solid ground.

RachelPritz.com • 19

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“THE SERVANT”

“THE HOST/HOSTESS”

Type Two with One wing — 2w1

Type Two with Three wing — 2w3

They tend to be more idealistic, reasonable, objective,

They tend to be more self-assured, charming,

self-critical, quietly serving, and judgmental.

flattering, ambitious, outgoing, and competitive.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Adviser

Optimist

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

RachelPritz.com • 20

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

HE ALTHY

but as you grow and develop, you’ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Twos are fully living out their identity by becoming deeply unselfish, humble, and altruistic. They give unconditional love to themselves and others. They feel it is a privilege to be in the lives of others without the need of others coming through for them. They believe, know, and trust that they are loved and wanted. This gives them freedom to embrace and acknowledge their own emotions and needs.

Because they are embracing who they really are, they are very empathetic, compassionate, and feel strongly for others. They become more aware of their own needs and are able to tend to them. They are thoughtful, warm-hearted, forgiving, and sincere.

They are encouraging, appreciative, and able to see the good in others. Service is important, but they still take care of themselves. They are nurturing, generous, giving, and loving.

4. As they begin to wander away from their own needs, they begin to think they have to live in their own strength. During this time, they begin to feel the need to be close to others, so they start “people pleasing,” becoming overly friendly, emotionally demonstrative, and believe they are full of “good intentions” about everything they do. They will give seductive attention (e.g., approval and flattery). 5.

Love is their priority and they talk about it constantly. They become overly intimate and intrusive in their relationships. They need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. They want others to depend on them. They give to get and send double messages. They wear themselves out for everyone because they are codependent and self-sacrificial. They feel as though they cannot do enough for others.

6. They feel they are indispensable because they overrate their efforts. They have a tendency to be a hypochondriac and “martyr’’ for others. They can also be overbearing, patronizing, and presumptuous.

They start to believe they are an orphan alone in life. At this level, they can be manipulative and selfserving. They can instill guilt in others by telling them how much they owe them for their help. They can

UNHE ALTHY

tend to abuse food and medication to “stuff feelings” and gain sympathy from others. They undermine people by making belittling and disparaging remarks. They become extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and/or selfish their behavior is. 8. They are domineering and coercive. They feel entitled to get anything they want from others as a form of repayment for the help they have given over time. 9. At this level, they feel resentful and bitter because they believe they have been abused and victimized by others, which causes them to excuse certain behaviors. Somatization of their aggressions result in chronic health problems as they vindicate themselves by “falling apart” and burdening others. An unhealthy Type Two generally corresponds to the Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder.

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

RachelPritz.com • 21

LINES & ARROWS The Enneagram is simply our personal GPS (our internal map) that informs us if we are on the right path of growth or if we are heading in the wrong direction. The inner lines that you see in the Enneagram symbol are the roads or paths that lead to our growth or stress. Learn which paths are the best for you and which ones you need to be aware of so you don’t veer off course. If you find that you are headed in the wrong direction, call a time out. Reflect on what is going on in your life and course correct.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 2 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 4

• Type 2 moves toward Healthy side of Type 4

• Will more openly share their feelings, needs, and darker impulses. • Can become moody, temperamental, and self-absorbed. They give themselves “treats” and become more self-indulgent.

• Become more nurturing and compassionate toward themselves. • More aware of their emotions and begin to admit and accept painful feelings, including anger, sadness, and loneliness.

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 2 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 8

• Type 2 moves toward Healthy side of Type 8

• Stressed Twos can become irritable, defensive, controlling, aggressive, demanding and dominating. They will blame others for problems while seeing their intentions as being only good.

• Twos need to learn from the healthiest side of Type Eight by seeing and owning their strength and value apart from what others think. They also fully claim their positive presence in the world.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Twos believe they can’t be loved for who they are, so to win the approval

A Two’s primary focus of attention is

of others they project the false image that they are a completely selfless,

other people’s needs, desiring to meet

loving, caring, and supportive person.

those needs and earn the approval and

•

Therefore, Twos need to be needed. Knowing other people’s needs allows them to give and then get the love and affirmation they want in

A Two believes that if they recognize

return. Without this, they feel rejected, unloved, and unwanted. For Twos,

their own needs (emotional, relational,

affirmation and affection are addicting and intoxicating.

and physical), they may threaten their

It feels nearly impossible for a Two to say “no” to anyone who has a request or need. They feel selfish and mean.

•

affirmation they long to hear.

Twos are terrified to see their wants and needs because they fear it will

relationships and connections with other people. So, they hide their needs from themselves and others. This allows them to focus solely on the needs of others.

end in humiliation, leading to feeling rejected. If they are rejected, then it will only confirm their worst fear — they are unworthy of being loved. Enneagram Profile • Type 2

RachelPritz.com • 22

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 2 RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

Although on the surface Twos appear to feel at ease with

Looking for: Emotional connection, intimacy, warmth, and affection.

•

What gets in the way: They can insist on having exclusivity

feelings of rejection (Types 2, 5, and 8 are part of the

demand more relational intimacy over time. They can

Rejection Triad).

giving it to them, thus creating secret dependencies so the

to accept and love them, they often feel they need to be

They try too hard to please others by selling themselves

better, Twos focus on other people’s needs and usually try to

They tend to hover and do not give the other person adequate space for fear of being abandoned.

•

They expect their partner to read their mind and know their needs. The Two is disappointed when loved ones fail to anticipate their desires or needs.

•

They can become possessive and jealous of their partner for spending time with others.

•

Twos expect people to not want them around. To get others

person feels they need the Two’s presence and help.

out for affection and appreciation. •

people in their lives, they also suffer from well-hidden

(having a specific individual all to themselves) and manipulate others by determining what they need and

•

others and be a source of emotional sustenance for the

If the Two cannot acknowledge their personal hurts, needs, and angers, then the relationship can be

extraordinarily kind and supportive. In order for them to feel conceal the depths of their loneliness and pain. Twos can feel that others are not appreciating them for their efforts, which brings up their feelings of rejection. Then they may become touchy or even openly angry, revealing the disappointment they are hiding. When it is revealed to them that they have been negatively responding, they will feel extremely deflated. It is here that they feel an urgent need to be filled up with affirmation since they cannot seem to do it for themselves.

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME

damaged and correcting them at every turn. a Please tell me what you specifically appreciate about me.

HOW TWOS PARENT

a I love it when people spontaneously do things for me or give me gifts. It lets me know that I am special to you.

•

They are good listeners and care deeply.

•

They love their kids unconditionally.

•

Twos are very warm and encouraging.

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED)

a Take an interest in my problems. I will probably try to turn the focus back to you, so do your best to stay focused on me. a Let me know I’m important and special to you. a Be gentle when you feel you need to point out my flaws. I

•

Unconsious: It’s not ok to have your own needs

•

Needed message: You are wanted.

am very sensitive. a Help me to remember that I am first loved, cherished, and cared for. a When I take care of myself or express my needs, please know this is hard for me to do.

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

RachelPritz.com • 23

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 2 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A TWO

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING A TWO

•

I feel like I should never say no to people when they ask for help.

•

It is easy for me to relate with other people and I enjoy people.

•

I tend to have low self-esteem.

•

I get easily drained by being overly helpful to others and not taking adequate care of my own needs. When I do take care of myself, I feel selfish and guilty.

I intuitively know what others need and enjoy meeting their needs.

•

I put myself down because I don’t feel I am loving and supporting others enough.

I enjoy being a generous, warm, caring, and loving person. I am sensitive and empathetic to the feelings and needs of others.

•

I feel unloved since others do not attune themselves to my needs and care for me like I do for them.

I like being optimistic and joyful. I enjoy knowing that others are grateful for the help I can give.

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Repression

a It is selfish to have my own needs.

•

from themselves so they do not have to experience

a People need my help. a I’m here to take care of others’ needs.

Twos will repress (hide) information about themselves painful emotions.

•

They might repress information like their feelings, desires, wishes, aversions, fears, and needs. Because these are

a To be loved I must be needed.

too difficult to acknowledge consciously, they push them down inside in order to control them. They believe that if

a I have to earn love, approval and appreciation.

they are able to control them, they will not cause them any more pain. The truth is the opposite. When the Two

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES

acknowledges their needs and shares them directly by asking for help, they see that others do love and serve

a Notice how easily your attention goes out to sensing needs

them.

of others and your associated feeling of pride in being able to meet those needs. Unfortunately, pride prevents you from admitting to yourself that you have real needs too. a Notice when your helpfulness may seem intrusive to others.

PRACTICING AWARENESS •

want. I am not feeling appreciated. No one needs me.

a Tell people what you need and learn to enjoy receiving without feeling the need to give back.

•

meeting your own needs.

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

Awareness: Why am I anxious and distressed? Why do I feel a lack of connection and hurt?

a Notice your own achievements and innate self-worth. a Use anger and rising distress as signals you are not

Potential Trigger: I am not getting the response/reaction I

•

Practicing the work: Could I possibly be interpreting people’s reactions in another way? Ask for what I need, use my voice.

RachelPritz.com • 24

HEART CENTER (EQ) Feeling Triad

•

The Heart Center or Feeling Triad contains Types 2, 3, and 4.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their FEELINGS.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through their FEELINGS.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is SHAME.

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting SIGNIFICANCE and IDENTITY.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

Healthy Twos have the amazing ability to sustain positive affections for other people. They go out of their way to support, help, and care for others because they are loving, compassionate, and generous. Average Twos are trying to maintain a SELF-IMAGE of being completely loving, SELFLESS people, so they are constantly doing “helpful” things to get validation that they are wanted and loved by others. They think they need validation to avoid their STRUGGLE with SHAMEFUL FEELINGS (feeling unwanted or loved). They convince themselves that they do not have needs and that they are completely there for other people. They do this so they don’t have to experience the painful feelings when someone doesn’t come through for them. They only want to emphasize their positive feelings and suppress their anger, frustration, and any hint of self-interest.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SELF-PRESERVATION

SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#2 Subtype • Privilege (Counter-type)

#2 Subtype • Ambition

#2 Subtype • Aggression / Seduction

• This is the more “adult” Two. They tend to desire more power and are excellent at seducing or wooing an audience, looking more like a Type Three or Eight.

• This subtype focuses mainly on seducing a partner to meet all their needs and give them whatever they desire. To them, this feels like love and profound intimacy.

• They tend to be generous to get people to follow them and see them as influential and competent.

• They tend to be very physically appealing so they can also have some power. They present themselves as irresistible.

• Twos feel they need to seduce people to get their needs met, yet fear the rejection of others. • Since they don’t want to open themselves up to the vulnerability of someone saying no to them, they tend to be a bit more indirect in how they ask. • This subtype “seduces” others more like a child would to an adult. They tend to be needy and irresponsible to lure the help and attention of others. • They unconsciously get other people’s attention by being playful, charming, and child-like in their demeanor.

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

• They feel loved by having an important place in the lives of friends, family, and colleagues and fear being left out. • They make themselves indispensable by supporting, advising, and helping out the group or community.

• They inspire others by giving off good feelings and passions as a way to meet their need to feel loved and admired. • They are seeking close relationships which serves their pride. When their efforts of seducing work, they feel inflated, but feel especially deflated if it doesn’t work. RachelPritz.com • 25

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a Two, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to sacrifice my own needs to benefit someone else. a The ability to empathize with people and console and reassure them a The ability to nurture and cultivate love and kindness in others a The ability to provide real care and support to others a The ability to cooperate, collaborate and create harmonious relationships with others a The ability to intuit and inwardly perceive other people’s needs a The ability to work long and hard on someone else’s behalf a The ability to see the good in others even when they don’t see it in themselves a The ability to listen compassionately and allow people to feel understood a The ability to create close, personal, meaningful relationships with people a The ability to praise people and make them feel good about themselves a The ability to build rapport and trust with anyone by being genuinely interested in them a The ability to offer hospitality a The ability to commit to those I care about and be loyal, dependable and responsible a The ability to offer good advice and counsel that helps people with their problems a The ability to advocate and promote people or causes I am passionate about a The ability to encourage, uplift, inspire and empower people a The ability to bring people together to create community and a family-like environment a The ability to protect people and create security and stability for them a The ability to ensure the welfare of those I care about a The ability to affirm others and put them at ease a The ability to mobilize and marshal people to help others in need a The ability to put myself in someone else’s shoes and consider their feelings a The ability to understand what motivates people a The ability to network a The ability to lead discussion groups and build teams

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

RachelPritz.com • 26

WORK VALUES

Some of the work values important to Twos are: (Mark which ones apply to you)

a Aesthetics and beauty

a Helping others directly

a Sense of mission

a Close friendships with coworkers

a Integrity

a Sociability

a Close group/teamwork

a Meaningful work

a Contribution (to betterment of world)

a Lots of people contact a Open communication a Positively influencing other’s lives

LIFE VALUES

Some of the life values important to Twos are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Affability

a Family

a Praise and giving compliments

a Affection

a Feelings

a Relationships

a Altruism

a Friendliness

a Association with others

a Friends

a Responsiveness (to others’ needs)

a Being appreciated and loved

a Fostering development in others

a Being needed

a Generosity

a Being useful

a Harmony

a Sensitivity

a Care

a Having positive feelings for others

a Service to others a Sociability

a Helpfulness

a Spiritual faith

a Intimacy

a Sympathy

a Kindliness

a Thoughtfulness

a Love

a Understanding

a Charitableness a Collaboration/teamwork a Compassion for others a Consideration of others a Cooperation a Cordiality a Emotional closeness a Empathy for others

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

a Romance a Self-sacrifice

a Nurturance a Openness a Partnerships

RachelPritz.com • 27

CAREER SATISFACTION As a Two, career satisfaction means doing work that.....

a Allows me to work with people who are kind, generous, thoughtful loving, open and easy to get along with. a Allows me to work with a boss who is sensitive to peoples’ needs, encouraging, appreciative, approving, and praises people for their good work and team spirit regularly. a Let’s me work in a warm, friendly, harmonious environment with lots of plants, sunshine and pictures of my family and friends. a Allows me to collaborate, cooperate, bond, communicate and connect with people regularly. a Let’s me bring more love, kindness, compassion and forgiveness into the world. a Gives me lots of opportunities to make people feel good about themselves. a Allows me to support and help powerful, influential people who are ambitious to do good and bring more love into the world (especially Twos with a Three wing and social Twos). a Has meaning and value for me beyond a paycheck. a Doesn’t require so much of me that I end up feeling drained constantly from overdoing and trying to please everyone. a Doesn’t require me to suppress my own real feelings and needs.

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 2

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 28

MISSION STATEMENTS As a Two, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

a My mission is to bring more love into the world a My mission is to take care of my own needs as well as I do those of others a My mission is to help other women raise their self-esteem and get out of abusive relationships a My mission is to make people feel special and loved a My mission is to be the most loving spouse, mother and grandmother I can be a My mission is to love my spouse and children unconditionally a My mission is to give generously of myself to worthy causes and people a My mission is to help people understand, appreciate and love each other a My mission is to help people heal their emotional wounds a My mission is to make wonderful things happen for those I love

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 2

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 29

TYPE

3 THREE

THE ACHIEVER (PERFORMER)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

TYPE THREE

THE ACHIEVER Adaptable • Excelling • Driven • Image-Conscious

CORE FEAR They fear failing, being incapable, unimpressive, unable to do, to be second best, lackluster, unmasked, incompetent, inefficient, without merit, or exposed.

CORE DESIRE They desire to feel loved, valuable, and worthwhile by simply being themselves without having to perform.

“I am successful, admirable, attractive, outstanding, productive, and effective.” Threes are people who measure themselves by external achievement and the roles that they play. May be truthful, accomplished, and excel at what they do, or they can be conniving, competitive, and fake. Threes are generally effective, competent, adaptable, goal-oriented, ambitious, organized, diplomatic, and charming. They like to perform and are very conscious of their image. Threes tend to get into trouble by being expedient, excessively driven, competitive, selfpromoting, appropriate instead of sincere, boastful, and grandiose.

MOTIVATIONS They want to feel valuable and worthwhile, to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves, to gain the attention of others, to be admired, and to impress others.

DISLIKES Threes do not want anything that looks like failure, to sit around doing nothing, to look unprepared or awkward, to be overshadowed by others, to be average, to ask others for help or support, or to be caught in distortions of the truth others.

WORK STYLE Producer, Networker

LEADERSHIP STYLE Motivator

COMMUNICATION STYLE Expedient, professional, polished, peacocking, bragging, smooth, trendy, competent or mentoring. Enneagram Profile • Type 3

At their best, however, Threes are more focused on motivating and inspiring others. They become real team players, are inner-directed, authentic, modest, humble, admirable, welladjusted, and gracious to those around them. They strive to be competent, productive, efficient, accomplished, and impressive. They strongly desire to excel at everything they do and to look good doing it. They are ambitious, competitive, and industrious. They would like others to see them as a winner who deserves to be admired and respected. Their idealized self-image is that they are triumphant and victorious. Threes are goal oriented. They are self-confident, ambitious, and motivated. They want to be admired by others and someone others are striving to be like. Because they are so goal-oriented, they take great pleasure in crossing tasks off their “to-do” lists after finishing them quickly and efficiently. They will even write down tasks they have already completed just for the joy of crossing them off. Threes are able to adapt quickly to whatever role is expected of them in any given situation. They do this in order to gain prestige, admiration, and status. Maintaining a successful image and appearance is vital, so they place continuous pressure on themselves to look good, to be in-style, and to always be physically fit. They keep a smooth exterior by controlling their emotions, being efficient, and maintaining their focus on accomplishing goals. Continuously seeking attention and admiration, they aren’t afraid to show off or promote their talents and ambitions. Since there is no room for second best, they keep trying until they reach their goal. Their high level of self-confidence, enthusiasm, and positive energy tends to rub off and motivate those around them. Always on the go and energized by starting new projects, they can achieve a great deal but are also at risk of burning out. When one goal has been accomplished, they do not take a break but simply move on to the next goal.

RachelPritz.com • 31

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“THE STAR”

“THE PROFESSIONAL”

Type Three with Two wing — 3w2

Type Three with Four wing — 3w4

They are warmer, more encouraging,

They are more focused on work, success, and

sociable, popular, enjoy being center of attention,

introspection. They are more sensitive, artistic,

and seductive.

imaginative, and pretentious.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Adviser

Optimist

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

RachelPritz.com • 32

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

HE ALTHY

but as you grow and develop, you’ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Threes are fully living out their identity and revealing their authentic self without fear. They know they are deeply loved for exactly who they are. They know that they no longer need to perform to earn the love and admiration they long for since they now know they are worthy. It is here that they become self-accepting, gentle, and authentic. They are modest, charitable, and they allow their emotions to emerge.

They are self-assured, energetic, and competent with a high level of self-esteem. They believe in themselves and their own value. They are adaptable, desirable, charming, and gracious.

They are ambitious to improve themselves and to be the best they can be. They often become outstanding and an ideal person who is widely admired in most communities. They are highly effective, and others are motivated to be like them in some positive way.

4. As they begin to wander away from who they are, they begin to think they have to live in their own strength. During this time, they begin to become highly concerned with their performance, doing their job well, constantly driving themselves to achieve goals as if their self-worth depends on it. They are truly terrified of failure and compare themselves with others as they search for status and recognition. It is here where they become careerists, social climbers, invested in exclusivity, and strive to be their best self. 5. They are image-conscious and highly concerned with how others perceive them. They begin to shapeshift themselves according to the expectations of others and to what is needed to be successful. They are pragmatic and efficient but have lost touch with their own feelings beneath their smooth surface. They put on a false image to win people over. 6. They desire to impress others with their superiority. They do this by constantly promoting themselves, making themselves sound better than they really are. At this level, they can become narcissistic with grandiose and inflated notions about themselves and their talents. They can be exhibitionistic and seductive: “Look at me!”

UNHE ALTHY

At this level, they begin to fear failure and humiliation. They become exploitative and opportunistic, coveting the success of others. They are willing to do whatever it takes to preserve the illusion of their superiority.

8. To avoid exposure of their wrongdoings and mistakes, they become devious and deceptive. They are now untrustworthy, maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them. They become delusional and very jealous. 9. Believing they are totally alone and need to control life, they become vindictive and attempt to destroy whatever reminds them of their own failures. They can become psychopathic and murderous. Unhealthy Threes generally correspond to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

RachelPritz.com • 33

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 3 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 9

• Type 3 moves toward Healthy side of Type 9

• Driven Threes suddenly become disengaged and apathetic.

• Threes need to learn most from the high side of Type Nine by learning how to simply “be” instead of constantly doing, achieving, and performing.

• They neglect themselves and possibly numb out by watching TV, playing video games, shopping, eating, etc.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 3 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 6

• Type 3 moves toward Healthy side of Type 6

• More openly express their anxieties and frustrations.

• Vain, deceitful Threes become more cooperative and committed to others.

• After appearing “positive” to others, they come home and vent their dissatisfactions, self-doubt, dread, anger, and suspicion of others.

• They become aware of their feelings and reveal who they are behind their “achieving” masks.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Threes believe they can only be loved by being or appearing successful.

A Three’s primary focus of attention is on

Therefore, they avoid failure at all costs and shape-shift their image to

tasks and goals to accomplish so they can

please anyone they are around.

gain recognition, approval, and admiration

•

They cannot allow even the slightest appearance of failure, so they may

from others.

feel the need to embellish the “truth” so that others never see them in

In every situation, Three ‘s focus on what

any other way than a shimmering and glittering image. In fact, if they are

needs to happen or how they need to

struggling in life, they may double down their efforts to appear successful

adapt to be seen as a very successful and

by wearing expensive clothes, purchasing top-of-the-line cars, taking

prestigious person.

extravagant vacations, and bragging about anything that would make them look better than what they really are in the current moment. •

They fear they will not be loved and valued, but instead seen as worthless or shamed for being a failure. Putting on a successful image keeps these fears at bay (or so they hope). To avoid their fears, they assess what others find admirable and instantly transform themselves into this person.

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

RachelPritz.com • 34

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 3 RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

Threes do an amazing job giving off the persona that they

Looking for: Social suitability, competence, admirability, and attractiveness.

•

What gets in the way: Insisting that their career and

can’t maintain a certain position or image in life, they will be

manipulate others by charming them and shape-

devalued, rejected, and tossed aside as worthless. Thus, they

instead of being their real self. Significant relationship issues include the following: Presenting a favorable image instead of their authentic and genuine self. •

•

Fearing that people only want them for their looks or

are under constant pressure internally to have it all together, to not need much intimacy or personal support, and, above all, to always perform at maximum efficiency. People would generally never suspect the degree of emotional vulnerability and insecurity that Threes conceal beneath their likable, smooth, and efficient personas. In truth, although Threes seem to have social ease, there is a great deal of loneliness

abilities, they put all their efforts in being the best.

inside. They believe they should not need help or support.

Being a workaholic as a way to gain recognition,

Threes try to avoid their feelings of shame, isolation, and

affirmation, and respect. This is also a way of avoiding intimacy with their spouse, correcting them at every turn.

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED) •

Unconsious: It’s not ok to hav eyour own feelings or identity.

•

Needed message: You are loved as you are.

HOW THREES PARENT •

Threes are consistent, dependable, and loyal parents.

•

They can struggle between desiring success and desiring time with their family.

•

deep anxieties about their personal value. They feel that if they

social status come before their relationships. They can shifting into whatever image will work in the moment

•

have it all together. But beneath the surface, Threes have

They expect their kids to be responsible, accomplished, successful, and well organized.

inadequacy. But for them to grow, they need to allow these feelings to arise so they can realize they are loved and secure in simply being themselves.

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME a Remind me that my value and worth are not in what I accomplish but in what I am without the accomplishments. a When you need to give me honest feedback, please do not be unduly critical or judgmental. a It means a great deal when you reveal that you love me for simply being me and not because I am successful, admired, or accomplished. a Please be patient with me since it is hard for me to believe that someone could love me for me. a Keeping my environment harmonious and peaceful is very important to me. It would mean a lot if you helped keep it clean and tidy. a I don’t enjoy dealing with too many negative emotions from others. Having emotional balance is something I value and desire in a relationship. a Tell me you like being with me and are proud of me.

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

RachelPritz.com • 35

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 3 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A THREE

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING A THREE

•

It is hard for me to put up with inefficiencies and incompetencies.

•

It is great being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat.

•

I constantly fear that I will not be successful or be seen as successful.

•

I like the fact that I am good at providing for family.

•

I constantly compare myself to other people who do a better job than me and then shame myself.

Being able to recover quickly from setbacks and charge ahead is a quality that comes easily to me.

•

I constantly feel that I need to put on a facade in order to impress and be liked by people.

I am competent, work efficiently, and accomplish a lot.

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Identification

a My worth depends on my achievements.

•

they identify the admirable qualities people desire and

a True feelings are not to be expressed if they make you look bad. a My value is dependent on the positive regard of others. a It’s important to present a winning image.

Threes fear being rejected for being themselves, so become that instead of being their authentic self (they shape-shift).

•

Approval and being admired by others is a substitute for what they really desire — being loved for simply being themselves without needing to accomplish anything.

a It’s up to me to “make it” in life.

They believe that identification is the answer.

a To be loved I must be successful, a winner. a My worth depends on my achievements.

PRACTICING AWARENESS

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES

•

Potential Trigger: I feel like a failure. I need to impress to win. I should be working harder than everyone. I am frustrated people don’t work as hard as me.

a Stop from time to time and ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” Let your real emotions surface rather than denying them to be more productive. Busy can be a

•

shame? Why do I feel like nothing is ever good enough?

numbing behavior. a Learn to moderate your pace. Take time to slow down and detach from performance and goals. a Practice looking inward for your own identity apart from success and the expectations of others.

Awareness: Why am I stressed, anxious and feeling

•

Practicing the work: Don’t lose sight of what really matters. How does my impress to win affect connecting to others? Let go of image and lean into freedom, peace, and authentic self.

a Set limits and boundaries on work. a Realize that love comes from being, not doing and having. a Ask yourself what really matters to you, in your professional and personaly lives. Make time for your highest priorities and leave the rest.

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

RachelPritz.com • 36

HEART CENTER (EQ) Feeling triad

•

The Feeling Triad or Heart Center contains Types 2, 3, and 4.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their FEELINGS.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through their gut FEELINGS.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is guilt/ shame.

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting SIGNIFICANCE and IDENTITY.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

Healthy Threes have the desire and will to improve themselves, motivate others to be their best, and adapt to any given situation. They have a healthy sense of self and can remain positive for a long period of time. Average Threes, however, know how to ADJUST their SELF-IMAGE to the particular needs of any given situation and attempt to do so by removing their own feelings and true identity in order to be admired. This requires them to put their own feelings and identity aside, causing them to lose touch with their own feelings and their own core self. They learn to become whatever successful image is called for in each situation they experience in life. They feel it is necessary to gain the admiration of others in order to avoid feeling SHAME. In doing this, they are rewarded for their performance, charm, and accomplishments.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SELF-PRESERVATION

SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#3 Subtype • Security (Counter-type)

#3 Subtype • Prestige

#3 Subtype • Masculine/Feminine

• This Three has vanity for not having vanity. In other words, they hide their vanity by being a perfect role model (good, efficient, hardworking, effective, and productive.) They want to be admired by others and look good without bragging about themselves. • They have a difficult time contacting their inner feelings and tend to think that love is about fulfilling their role in the relationship. They see it as more of a transactional role than a relational role with emotional intimacy. • They can be the most workaholic type on the Enneagram. This can cause problems in their relationships.

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

• This subtype is the most common. They focus on achieving, looking good, and getting the job done. • They act out their vanity through garnering attention, boasting, and having as much influence as they possibly can. They enjoy the spotlight and climbing both social and professional ladders. • They are the most competitive and aggressive Type Three subtype. Achieving is their aim. • They know exactly what is expected of them and will shape-shift in order to become the most admired person around. They want to rid and conceal any negative information about them.

• This subtype is one of sex appeal and beauty, rather than money and prestige. They are competitive in being the most attractive person. • They create strong bonds with others through being attractive, appealing, generous, and magnanimous. They help and support others. This is how they earn love and value. • They can be a force of nature and more emotionally turbulent. • Their focus is primarily in pleasing other people, specifically their family. They want to prove they are the “best spouse.” • They don’t need the spotlight.

RachelPritz.com • 37

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a Three, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to believe in myself, think positively and dream BIG! a The ability to pull myself up by my own bootstraps a The ability to develop myself and my potential to be all I can be a The ability to “learn more to earn more.” Threes naturally want to stay on the cutting edge of breakthrough success technology a The ability to stay focused on my dreams, goals and desires and anticipate good things happening for me a The ability to work hard, persevere and do whatever it takes to succeed a The ability to interact well with people interpersonally/socially (I can be very charming) a The ability to win friends and influence people (it’s great when I’m running for election, interviewing or auditioning for a part) a The ability to read people well, build rapport, and make friends easily a The ability to multi-task (example: ride lifecycle, watch news, read newspaper (business section first?), and network or do business on the cell phone..... at 5:00 am) a The ability to initiate, lead and take action to succeed a The ability to discipline myself, as necessary, to succeed a The ability to focus and concentrate fully when I’m on task a The ability to sell, promote and market myself, my services, and my products a The ability to motivate, persuade, convince and inspire people a The ability to plan and then execute the plan to achieve my lofty goals (I have big dreams!) a The ability to positively reframe any setback/disappointment as a great learning experience a The ability to juggle many roles and responsibilities in life (in my pursuit of having it all!) a The ability to network and make connections (with the goal of helping each other succeed) a The ability to identify and capitalize on good ideas and turn them into profit a The ability to identify and utilize all available resources at my disposal a The ability to perform and play a role well a The ability to behave appropriately and diplomatically when out in public a The ability to adapt well to sudden changes and shift gears quickly to stay on top of things a The ability to work well under pressure

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

RachelPritz.com • 38

WORK VALUES

Some of the work values important to Threes are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Challenge

a Financial security

a Ongoing learning

a Commitment to excellence

a Goal achievement

a Personal recognition

a Competence

a Helping people

a Power and authority

a Contact with others

a High income

a Prestige

a Developing self and others

a Influencing other people’s lives

a Professional recognition

a Excitement and adventure

a Leadership

a Status

a Fast pace

a Meaningful work

a Time/schedule flexibility

LIFE VALUES

Some of the life values important to Threes are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a A can-do attitude

a Eminence

a Popularity

a Accomplishment

a Emotional Intelligence

a Positive thinking

a Achieving goals

a Excellence

a Prestige

a Admiration

a Excitement

a Prominence

a An enterprising spirit

a Fame (for some)

a Recognition

a Being desirable

a Hard-work ethic

a Renown

a Being influential

a Having it all

a Reputation

a Being the best

a Helping others succeed

a Self-confidence

a Belief in themselves

a Living the good life

a Status

a Determination to “make it”

a Looking good (in every way!)

a Success

a Developing human potential

a Personal growth

a Wealth (for some)

a Distinction

a Physical attractiveness

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

RachelPritz.com • 39

CAREER SATISFACTION As a Three, career satisfaction means doing work that.....

a Allows me to work with people who are goal-oriented, competent, optimistic, quick- thinking, action-oriented and motivated to be successful. a Allows me to work with a boss who is enterprising, success-oriented and is on the lookout to quickly promote high achievers with potential. a Allows me to work with a boss that doesn’t micromanage, gives me freedom to take initiative and even allows me to take some calculated risks with big potential payoffs. a Is fast-paced, stimulating and results-based. a Is prestigious (or at least well-regarded by society at large) and lucrative. a Offers life-long learning, plenty of personal growth opportunities and unlimited potential. a Offers managerial and/or leadership potential and allows me to move up quickly. a Rewards drive, hard work, persistence and productive results, with public recognition, financial compensation and promotion opportunities. a Provides opportunity for me to network with powerful, influential people. a Doesn’t require a lot of frustrating inefficiency or tedious detail work.

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 40

MISSION STATEMENTS As a Three, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

a My mission is to revolutionize the human potential movement and inspire others to dream bigger a My mission is to teach the principles of success a My mission is to motivate and inspire people to live the life of their dreams a My mission is to find success and fulfillment through purposeful and productive living a My mission is to slow down my “doing” and enjoy just “being” with loved ones and friends a My mission is to be an inspirational author on the power of positive thinking and the magic of thinking big a My mission is to be one of the best cooks in the world and inspire people to go after their dreams with my own TV show a My mission is to help people enhance their physical attractiveness with plastic surgery a My mission is to teach people how to become financially independent by buying real estate

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile • Type 3

RachelPritz.com • 41

TYPE

4 FOUR

THE INDIVIDUALIST (CREATIVE)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

CORE FEAR Fours fear being inadequate, plain, emotionally cut off, commonplace, ordinary, mundane, abandoned, defective, or flawed.

CORE DESIRE They desire to find themselves and their unique significance.

TYPE FOUR

THE INDIVIDUALIST Expressive • Dramatic • Self-Absorbed • Temperamental

“I am different, sensitive, unique, self-aware, intuitive, emotional, creative, and honest with myself.” Fours live primarily in their imagination and feelings. They may be artistic, creative, articulate, and inspiring, or whiny, elitist, self-absorbed, and negative. Fours are intuitive, sensitive, can be quiet, introspective, passionate, romantic, elegant, witty, imaginative, and desire to express themselves. Fours get into conflicts by being moody, emotionally demanding, withholding, temperamental, dramatic, pretentious, and self-indulgent.

MOTIVATIONS

Fours at their best are creative, inspiring, authentic, emotionally strong and balanced,

Fours want to be their unique selves, to express themselves in something beautiful, to find the ideal partner, to withdraw so they can protect their feelings, and to take care of emotional needs before doing anything else.

humane, self-aware, discreet, and self-renewing. They want to be uniquely gifted, intuitive, and one of a kind. More importantly, they want to be passionate, true to their feelings, and uniquely authentic. They see themselves as sensitive, expressive, and emotionally deep. They would like others to see them as idealistic, empathetic, and compassionate. Their idealized image is that they are seen as special, accomplished, and extraordinary. Since they are motivated by the need to understand and be understood, they desire experiences that are rich with emotions and meaning. They may find it easier to deal with

DISLIKES They do not want to restrain or lose touch with their emotions, to have their individuality go unseen, to feel ordinary, to have their taste questioned, to follow impersonal rules and procedures, or to spend time with people they perceive as lacking taste or emotional depth.

painful emotions than to deal with the monotony of daily routine. They tend to have an artistic bent and long to express themselves freely in some mode that uniquely represents them. They are not afraid to think for themselves and voice their point of view. They feel their emotions deeply and will venture into their painful emotions when others typically avoid them. They are painfully self-conscious and spend a great deal of energy on how different they are from others. Nostalgic by nature, they tend to focus on past experiences, which leads them in downward spirals of melancholy and/or painful unresolved feelings. Craving ideal circumstances

WORK STYLE Expressionist

LEADERSHIP STYLE Personalist/Uniqueness

or love, they often cannot stop pondering what is missing and what they perceive to be important. Their tendency towards self-absorption can come across as being self-centered and disinterested in others. Since they feel their own inner world so powerfully, it is good for them to remember that others’ experiences are just as real for them as it is for a Four. When they step out from under the waterfall of their emotions, they can bring forth many of their talents and express them in a way that is extraordinary and original. Because they are attuned

COMMUNICATION STYLE

to their feelings, they can be very aware of how others feel when they are suffering. They can

Breathy, lamenting, metaphorical, haughty, symbolic, specializing, discriminating.

listen to other people’s pains and deep emotions without being overwhelmed. In fact, it brings

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

them great joy to connect with others on a deep level and to comfort them in their pain.

RachelPritz.com • 43

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“THE ARISTOCRAT”

“THE BOHEMIAN”

Type Four with Three wing — 4w3

Type Four with Five wing — 4w5

They are more extroverted, competitive, upbeat,

They are more introverted, intellectual, withdrawn,

ambitious, emotionally volatile, concerned with

reserved, observant, eccentric, have intellectual

image, and flamboyant.

depth, and depressed.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

RachelPritz.com • 44

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

HE ALTHY

but as you grow and develop, you’ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Fours are fully living out their identity by being profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in some form of art or other creative outlet. They become deeply inspired, self-renewing, and regenerating. Their emotions are balanced, enabling them to transform all their experiences into something beautiful and valuable. They see their significance in the world, which renews their souls.

They are self-aware, introspective, on the “search for self,” and aware of their feelings and inner impulses. They are sensitive and intuitive to both self and others. They are gentle, tactful, and compassionate.

They are highly personal, individualistic, and true to themselves. They are extremely self-revealing, emotionally honest, and humane. They can be simultaneously serious and funny.

4. As they begin to wander away from themselves, they begin to think they have to live in their own strength. During this time, their sense of reality can come from their fantasy, passionate feelings, and imagination. They tend to take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. 5. To stay in touch with their feelings, they internalize everything and take everything personally. They become self-absorbed, moody, hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, and are unable to be spontaneous or “get out of themselves.” They will withdraw to protect their self-image and sort out their feelings. 6. Gradually they begin to think that they are different from others and exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholic dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual as they live in their fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence. They then become increasingly impractical and unproductive.

When they have forgotten who they are, they start to believe they are an orphan alone in life. At this level,

UNHE ALTHY

they see that their dreams are failing, so they become self-inhibiting, angry at themselves, and depressed. It is here that they become alienated from themselves and others and emotionally paralyzed. This leads to personal shame, fatigue, and an inability to function. 8. They are tormented by their delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts. Everything has become a source of torment to them. They blame others and drive away anyone who tries to help. 9. Believing they are totally alone, they feel utter despair, hopelessness, and become self-destructive (possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape). If emotional breakdown happens, suicide is possible. Unhealthy Type Fours generally correspond to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders.

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

RachelPritz.com • 45

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 4 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 2

• Type 4 moves toward Healthy side of Type 2

• Aloof Fours suddenly become overinvolved and cling to others. They try to manipulate others into loving them. They believe getting attention from others will replace their own emptiness and loneliness.

• Fours need to learn most from the high side of Type Two by learning how to love themselves unconditionally and selflessly.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 4 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 1

• Type 4 moves toward Healthy side of Type 1

• They may risk being more openly controlling and critical of others. They finally erupt after being disappointed by how others are behaving toward them. They become impatient, picky, and demanding.

• Envious, emotionally turbulent Fours become more objective and principled.

• They put the needs of others ahead of theirs.

• They become more disciplined and grounded. They are more productive and do what is right.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Fours believe that they alone have a tragic flaw or are defective in some

A Four’s primary focus of attention is to see

way compared to others. To them, it seems that everyone else has all the

what is missing so they can continue longing

pieces of their puzzle to their life. But for some reason the Four is missing

(similar to the U2 song, “I Still Haven’t Found

a vital piece to their puzzle. This causes great shame and feelings of

What I’m Looking For”).

inferiority. The Four’s passion or weakness is “envy,” and they constantly compare themselves to others. Comparing further isolates them and makes them feel like they do not belong. Fours are on a never-ending journey to find this “missing piece.” •

It is as if they have already experienced what real beauty, authenticity, and depth are and long to experience it again because it was so deeply satisfying.

The problem is that they live in a catch-22 dilemma. The more they feel defective, flawed, or like an outsider, the more they try to be unique. The more they force their uniqueness onto others, the more it pushes people away. This causes more shame. This cycle of thoughts and feelings continues unless they remember they are uniquely created and loved for who they are by their Heavenly Father. This alone can break the cycle.

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

RachelPritz.com • 46

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 4 HOW FOURS PARENT

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

On the surface, Fours can seem to suffer from chronic self-

Support, help, and encourage their children to become who they really are. Draw out their children’s creativity.

•

Can be overly critical and protective but are usually good with children if they are not too self-absorbed or moody.

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

doubt and be very sensitive to other people’s reactions to them. Part of the reason for this is that Fours often hold a secret inside. They have an idea of the sort of person they would like to become, the kind of person who would be fantastically talented, socially adept, and intensely desired. In short, Fours come to believe that if they were somehow different from who they are, they would be seen and loved.

•

Looking for: Ability to communicate on a deep level, acceptance, and emotional honesty.

•

What gets in the way: Insisting on having all of their emotional needs met immediately. Manipulating others by being temperamental, causing others to “walk on eggshells.”

Fours tend to have the following relationship issues: •

Becoming self-absorbed and uninterested in the other person’s feelings or problems due to feeling

Unfortunately, they constantly compare themselves negatively to this idealized secret self, their “fantasy self.” Because they are never as wonderful as their fantasy self, it is very difficult for them to appreciate many of their genuine positive qualities. Growth for a Type Four involves letting go of this idealized secret self and learning to value and appreciate who they actually are uniquely created, pursued, saved, seen, and loved deeply.

overwhelmed by their own feelings. •

Idealizing potential partners, then feeling disappointed

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME

once they get to know them often devaluing and rejecting them. Placing great expectations on the partner for nurturing and support. •

Being moody and temperamental — making others “walk on eggshells.” Being sensitive to criticism or feedback. Being annoyed when others try to cheer them up when they are melancholy.

a I struggle with a great deal of shame since I feel I am missing something vital inside, so please give me plenty of compliments. a Help me to love myself by seeing there is nothing missing in me and that I am created with the beauty and qualities God intended for me to have.

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED)

a Please see and respect me for my special gifts of intuition

•

Unconsious: It’s not ok to be functional or too happy.

a Don’t tell me I’m too sensitive or overreacting! Instead,

•

Needed message: You are seen for who you are.

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

and vision.

please allow me space to feel my emotions.

RachelPritz.com • 47

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 4 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A FOUR

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING A FOUR

•

I experience the darker moods of melancholy, emptiness, despair, self-hatred and shame.

•

I can find rich meaning in life and experience deep emotions.

•

I constantly feel I am missing something important inside and that I am defective or flawed in some way.

•

I have great intuition and creativity.

•

I struggle with envy and longing for what others have.

•

I enjoy being unique and seen as special by others.

•

I feel deeply hurt when someone misunderstands me. This happens often. I feel many emotions simultaneously.

•

I can easily sense the feelings of others and support them emotionally.

•

I can bring great beauty, depth, and creativity to any event or situation.

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Introjection

a I’m missing something vitally important that would make me whole and complete; I just need to find it.

•

will introject (fully absorb, internalize, and incorporate)

a I’m different (more flawed) than other people.

information into their sense of self. They discount positive information said about them to “help” them cope with

a Others have happier, more fulfilling lives than I do. a To be loved I must be unique, special and distinctive. a Others fit in better than I do. a Nobody really understands me.

Instead of blocking out negative information, a Four

painful information and neutralize external threats. •

They prefer to inflict pain on themselves instead of responding to criticism or rejection from others.

•

It’s hard for them to realize that this defense mechanism does not fend off negativity. It creates a deep well of

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES

self-deprecating statements that continually shame them. When they introject, they can’t distinguish between

a Notice your attention going to what is missing and longed for in your life and learn to value what is positive in your life right now. a Maintain a consistent course of action despite fluctuating and intense feelings and delay reacting until intense emotions begin to subside. Letting your strong feelings run the show only leads to inaction and more suffering. a Discover in yourself the qualities which you envy in others. a Remind yourself that when feelings of abandonment, rejection and insignificance come up, they are just perpetuated habits of mind from childhood and can be let go of, if you truly want to end your own suffering. The truth is that we are loved and completely whole at all times, under all circumstances, even painful ones.

reality and fantasy because it all feels real.

PRACTICING AWARENESS •

Potential Trigger: I fear abandonment, not connecting with others and not being understood.

•

Awareness: Where am i most stressed and also worried that I am not worth loving or belonging?

•

Practicing the work: Remember that joy and live next to pain. Lighten up your mood. Am I overthinking how I am feeling?

a Learn to value the ordinary, mundane aspects of life rather than wishing life were more dramatic, exciting, intense, romantic and emotionally fulfilling. a Recognize that being self-absorbed, temperamental and feeling special are the addictive substitutes for loss and feelings of abandonment. If you focus on genuinely connecting with other people, you will feel more accepted and less misunderstood. Enneagram Profile • Type 4

RachelPritz.com • 48

HEART CENTER (EQ) Feeling triad

•

The Feeling Triad or Heart Center contains Types 2, 3, and 4.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their FEELINGS.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through their gut FEELINGS.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is guilt/ shame.

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting SIGNIFICANCE and IDENTITY.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

Healthy Fours are very self-aware, self-revealing, and able to communicate about their inner world in a way that helps others do the same. Average Fours, however, maintain a SELF-IMAGE of being completely different from everyone else and believe they are misunderstood. They begin to live in their fantasies and imagination so much that they become too aware of their emotions. They begin to believe that their emotions are reality. Sadness, melancholy, and longing are all part of the Four’s emotional STRUGGLE with guilt/shame. They do not want others to force them to put their feelings and self-image aside until they have fully worked through the depths of these emotions.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#4 Subtype • Tenacity (Counter-type)

#4 Subtype • Shame

#4 Subtype • Competition

• This Four isn’t like a “typical” Four and people often first mistype themselves as something else.

• The envy of this Four fuels their feelings and causes them to feel more shame, suffer more emotionally, and be more sensitive.

• These Fours unconsciously try to rid themselves of shame and painful feelings by making others suffer instead.

• When others are around, they will seduce them by intensifying their pain and suffering to get their needs met.

• They are more shameless than shameful. They are more vocal in expressing their needs and rebel against anything that brings shame upon their desires and longings.

SELF-PRESERVATION

• They have all the darker feelings that a Four typically has, but they deal with their emotions privately and typically put on a happy face around others. • They keep their emotions private and are less dramatic. • They are long-suffering and stoic in the face of pain. They have a certain toughness to them since they are concealing a great deal of pain. • They hope their self-sacrifice will be recognized and appreciated.

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

• Melancholy brings them a sense of comfort. It is the sweet sadness of their soul. They will seek attention through their suffering, moodiness, and lamenting. • They desire to be part of a social group but will then compare and envy others when they are with the group. This causes them to feel ashamed, defective, and flawed.

• This type is the most competitive type on the Enneagram. They will use comparison to see how they are “better” than other people. • Instead of feeling that they are “lacking,” they become angry with others for not giving them what they desire. They are the “angry” Four.

RachelPritz.com • 49

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a Four, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to tune into my inner states, subconscious feelings and impulses a The ability to seek to understand myself deeply (and then help humanity do the same) a The ability to see deep underlying principles of life and universal truths that escape most a The ability to reveal deep, hidden, subtle truths about the human condition that have profound effects on people because they are experienced universally but unspoken of (except by 4s) a The ability to feel things deeply and share the depths of my soul with others a The ability to express myself in a highly unique, personal way a The ability to look for and find meaning in every experience, especially the painful ones a The ability to be touched deeply by beauty, kindness and love as well as sadness, sorrow and pain a The ability to be sincere and authentic about who I am which gives others permission to be honest and real about who they are a The ability to follow my heart, wherever it may lead a The ability to help others grow and develop their potential a The ability to find humor in my own faults and foibles (and help others see humor in theirs) a The ability to see life in a highly unique, otherworldly, idiosyncratic, and often spiritual way a The ability to help people view life from a more universal, metaphysical perspective a The ability to pick up the feelings of people around me (because of my emotional sensitivity) a The ability to console, comfort and support people in times of pain and sorrow a The ability to listen well and empathize deeply with others a The ability to create an ambiance of romance a The ability to help other types get in touch with their deeper feelings a The ability to beautify any environment (many 4s have this gift but some don’t)

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

RachelPritz.com • 50

WORK VALUES

Some of the work values important to Fours are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Aesthetics and beauty

a Excitement and adventure

a Integrity/honesty

a Artistic creativity

a Freedom

a Joy/happiness

a Change and variety

a Helping others directly

a Ongoing learning potential

a Contribution (to betterment of world)

a Independence

a Service/contribution

a Developing self and others

a Good physical fitness

a Creativity/originality

a Inner peace

a Time freedom/independence

LIFE VALUES

Some of the life values important to Fours are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Aesthetic sensibilities

a Empathy

a Originality

a Authenticity

a Finding meaning in everything that happens

a Passion

a Beauty (in ALL its forms) a Being accepted by others (for being different)

a Finding true love a Following one’s heart

a Personal growth

a Being true to oneself

a Imagination

a Being unique

a Individualism

a Compassion for other’s suffering, trials, and tribulations

a Inspiring others

a Continual self-renewal

a Intimacy in a relationship

a Creativity a Deep feelings a Depth/Profundity

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

a Intensity a Intuition a Ironic, off-beat sense of humor a Non-conformity

a Personal freedom a Quality (only the finest/best) a Romance a Self-awareness a Self-expression a Self-improvement a Self-revelation a Self-understanding a Sensitivity a Soulful connections

RachelPritz.com • 51

CAREER SATISFACTION As a Four, career satisfaction means doing work that.....

a Allows me to work autonomously or with a few people who are unpretentious, kind, respectful and thoughtful. I also want them to be accepting of my intensity, individuality and occasional moodiness. a Allows me to work with a boss who is understanding, open-minded, genuine, and humanitarian. a Is in alignment with my personal values, beliefs and ideals and has deep meaning and significance for me. a Let’s me manage my own time and work environment. a Let’s me have significant control and flexibility over the process and product of my work. a Allows me to express my vision, originality and depth of feeling through my work. a Brings to light the deep, dark, hidden, unconscious, shadow dimension of life that is so palpable for all Fours. a Allows me freedom of personal expression through my chosen medium of unique creativity. a Is done in a stress-free, peaceful, creative and aesthetically pleasing environment. a Draws upon my intuition, self-awareness and profound spirituality. a Makes use of my empathy and sensitivity to other people’s feelings.

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 52

MISSION STATEMENTS As a Four, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

a My mission is to help people understand the shadow(dark)side of the human personality a My mission is to help people get in touch with their heart’s wisdom and live from their authentic self a My mission is to touch, move, and inspire people with my paintings and poetry a My mission is to help people restore their life for synergy by practicing Tai Chi and Qigong a My mission is to help people discover their life purpose a My mission is to teach people how to make floral arrangements as a spiritual practice a My mission is to lead silent spiritual retreats where people can reconnect with their soul a My mission is to awaken our core intelligence through the mind-body practice of yoga a My mission is to teach meditation techniques that return one’s mind back to its natural, enlightened, peaceful state a My mission is to sing heartfelt music that touches the deepest recesses of a person’s soul

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile • Type 4

RachelPritz.com • 53

TYPE

5 FIVE

THE THINKER (OBSERVER)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

CORE FEAR They fear having obligation, being intruded on, annihilated, emptiness, contamination, surplus, being ignorant, overwhelmed, engulfed, dependent, or invaded.

CORE DESIRE They desire to be capable and competent.

TYPE FIVE

THE THINKER Perceptive • Innovative • Secretive • Isolated

“I see through, perceive, am curious, observant, selfcontained, insightful, unusual, and always alert. Type Fives pull back from the world and others and prefer to live in their mind. They may be wise, visionary, and knowledgeable, or abstract, stingy, eccentric, and schizoid. Fives are people who are generally focused, observant, perceptive, curious, insightful, analytical, studious, complex, profoundly eccentric, whimsical, emotionally distant, and independent. People have a hard time understanding Fives because they can be detached, preoccupied,

MOTIVATIONS They want to be capable and competent, to master a body of knowledge and skill, to explore reality, to remain undisturbed by others, and to reduce their need of help from other people.

high strung, isolated, impractical, unconventional, uncompromising, and provocative. At their best, Fives have the ability to have great vision for the future, they are pioneers, innovative, objective, playful, compassionate, and unattached. They want to be intelligent, knowledgeable, informed, and perceptive. More than that, they want to be self-sufficient, independent, and do not want to have obligations placed on them. They see themselves as intellectual, investigative, and able to detach from their emotions in order to be objective and practical. They would like others to see them as rational, logical, thoughtful, and wise. Fives are very

DISLIKES

private people who need time alone to recharge their batteries. They do not share readily

Fives do not want to have obligations placed on them, or be forced to share their emotions and secrets. They do not want to be surprised or expected to socialize beyond what their limited energy reserves will allow.

about themselves but will when they feel comfortable. Fives prefer the role of observer and

WORK STYLE Thinker/Deep Diver

investigator. They engage with the world through their minds. In general, they see the world as intrusive and overwhelming. They feel that life demands too much of themselves and their resources, so they focus their attention on conserving their energy and resources to avoid being completely depleted. Fives are inquisitive and crave learning new things. They develop an expertise in at least one field of study. To them, they believe that knowledge is power and that it is imperative that they be intellectually sound as a means of survival. They are able to have great mental perception due in part to their ability to remain detached and unaffected by their emotions. They think things through before offering their perceptive insights.

LEADERSHIP STYLE Systematizer

COMMUNICATION STYLE Technical, knowledgeable, unemotional, detached, high strung, know it all, idiosyncratic.

Enneagram Profile • Type 5

When a Five feels that they lack insight, knowledge, or intellect, they withdraw and isolate themselves. They are extremely private people and compartmentalize all the different areas of their life, keeping them separate from one another. Others may think that Fives are anti-social, eccentric, and too private. It may be hard for others to understand the world of a Five and can easily misread them. Fives even feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed in most social engagements. They tend to keep to themselves and retreat into a private inner sanctum to recharge.

RachelPritz.com • 55

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“THE ICONOCLAST”

“THE PROBLEM SOLVER”

Type Five with Four wing — 5w4

Type Five with Six wing — 5w6

They tend to be more creative, humanistic, sensitive,

They are more extroverted, loyal, anxious, skeptical,

empathetic, withdrawn, and self-absorbed.

cautious, and tend to be interested in the sciences.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Adviser

Optimist

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Enneagram Profile • Type 5

RachelPritz.com • 56

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

HE ALTHY

but as you grow and develop, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Fives are fully living out their identity by becoming visionaries, broadly comprehending the world while penetrating it profoundly. They are now open-minded, take things in whole, as well as in their true context. At this level, they can make pioneering discoveries and find entirely new ways of doing and perceiving things.

They are able to observe everything with extraordinary perceptiveness and insight. They are extraordinarily mentally alert, curious, and searching for intellectual knowledge. Nothing escapes their notice. They have an amazing ability to have great foresight and prediction. Their ability to concentrate is remarkable and they become engrossed in whatever has caught their attention.

3. They will attain skillful mastery of whatever interests them because of their deep passion of learning and ability to focus. Since they are excited by knowledge and learning, they often become an expert in some field. They are extremely innovative and inventive, producing extremely valuable original works. They are highly independent, idiosyncratic, and whimsical.

4. Fives begin to think they have to live in their own strength. They do not feel they can move forward until they conceptualize and fine-tune everything in their minds. They do this by working things out in their minds: model building, preparing, practicing, and gathering more resources. At this level they are extremely studious. They often challenge accepted ways of doing things. 5. As they become increasingly detached from others, they become involved with complicated ideas or imaginary worlds and are high-strung and intense. They are often preoccupied with their visions and interpretations rather than reality. They tend to be fascinated by off-beat, esoteric subjects, even those involving dark and disturbing elements. 6. They begin to take a cynical, argumentative, and antagonistic stance toward anything that would interfere with their inner world and personal vision. They can be provocative and abrasive with intentionally extreme and radical views.

At this level, they become reclusive and isolated from reality, eccentric, and nihilistic. They can be highly

UNHE ALTHY

unstable and fearful of aggressions. They reject and push others away and disengage with all social attachments. 8. They can become obsessed with their thinking. Their thinking becomes so deep and dark at times that it can begin to frighten them. It is here that they become horrified, delirious, and prey to gross distortions and phobias. 9. They truly believe they are an orphan and that life is meaningless. They may be deranged, explosively self-destructive, and have schizophrenic overtones. When they are this unhealthy, they may experience a psychotic break with reality and may even commit suicide. Unhealthy Fives generally correspond to the Schizoid Avoidant and Schizotypal personality disorders.

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 5

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 57

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 5 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 7

• Type 5 moves toward Healthy side of Type 7

• They become hyperactive and scattered. • They impulsively take on new projects. They become unfocused and distracted.

• Fives need to learn most from the high side of Type Seven by learning that life is a joy and that God is benevolent, kind, and provides for all their needs. He replenishes their resources and energy.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 5 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 8

• Type 5 moves toward Healthy side of Type 8

• They become forceful in asserting their boundaries and confront anyone that displeases them. They become feisty, argumentative, and provocative. They can become aggressive and vengeful others.

• Insecure Fives become more selfconfident and decisive. • They get in touch and are active with their body. They trust their instincts and become more assertive and confident.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Fives experience life and people as intrusive, draining, and overwhelming.

A Five’s primary focus of attention is detaching

A good way to understand a Five is to recognize that each person has

and observing to maintain boundaries to

internal batteries that give them the energy they need to interact in the

ensure they will not be catastrophically

world. If everyone else has 5-10 large-sized batteries (depending on if they

depleted.

are introverts or extroverts), then a Five only has 2-4 regular-sized batteries that deplete quickly and need to be recharged through time alone. •

In order to recharge, they must withdraw to a private space. They typically have a private

They believe that they do not have enough inner resources (battery life)

sanctuary that affords them the privacy to

to meet all the needs in both life and relationships. Therefore, they must

recharge. In their sanctuary they retreat into

constantly monitor their remaining battery life, manage their energy

their minds where they feel more at home,

carefully and allocate it according to the demands of that given day. They

competent, safe, and confident.

do not like surprises or intrusions because this will cause an unexpected drain of their batteries. •

To them, if their battery drains completely, they fear they will catastrophic depletion. Maintaining their resources and battery life is essential to survival.

Enneagram Profile • Type 5

RachelPritz.com • 58

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 5 HOW FIVES PARENT

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

Fives probably spend more time alone than any other

•

Often kind, perceptive, and devoted parents but can also be authoritarian and demanding at times.

type (even if they are a more social Five). Fives need

May expect more intellectual achievement than is

that they fear needing the affection and warmth of others. To

developmentally possible of their kids.

them if they need to ask for anything from others it may come

May be intolerant to too many emotions expressed.

and independence. They also believe that their own needs are

companionship and connection with others. The problem is

at a great risk and a greater imposition on their own freedom so intense that if they were to ever express them it would be too

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

much for others to handle. In some cases, they may even believe that their needs would

•

Looking for: Curiosity, intensity, involvement, nonintrusiveness.

•

What gets in the way: Insisting on personal space and

actually harm others. Deep down, all Fives really want to find someone safe to connect with, but they fear that doing so might cost them whatever degree of competency and self-reliance they have attained. If a Five feels that their area

not being bothered. They may manipulate by staying

of mastery or their autonomy is at risk, they may retreat

preoccupied with ideas and projects and by detaching

from a relationship even if they truly love the person they are

emotionally.

leaving. To them retreating for this reason feels more like a matter of survival.

A Five’s relationship issues include the following: •

Frequently feeling intruded on and needing a great deal of privacy.

•

Often feeling rejected and retreating from people.

•

Being overwhelmed by the emotional needs of others.

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME a Please be independent, not clingy. a Speak in a straightforward and brief manner. a I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED)

Please respect this time so I can recharge. a If I seem distant, aloof, or arrogant, it might be that I feel

•

Unconsious: It’s not ok to be comfortable in the world.

•

Needed message: Your needs are not a problem.

uncomfortable. I need a space (sanctuary) that is only for me so I can retreat, go into my mind, and recharge. a Please do not feel that I am avoiding or dislike you when I need time to recharge. It is necessary for me. a I do not have as much relational stamina as others. I tend to feel awkward in big social gatherings. a Please understand that I may choose to remain distant, quiet, and stand back to observe. Please do not force me to interact or be part of the social interaction. a Please do not share with others what I have privately shared. Trust is extremely important to me.

Enneagram Profile • Type 5

RachelPritz.com • 59

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 5 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A FIVE

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING A FIVE

•

Because I feel I must know everything before I reveal my insights, I can be slow to share them to the world.

•

I feel bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all to others. Because my relational battery is smaller than most people’s, it is hard when I am being pressured to be with people and I feel completely depleted.

I can comfortably stand back and view life objectively without getting my emotions all tangled up.

•

It is hard to see others who are socially more capable but less intelligent than me do better professionally.

I can do research, come to a complete understanding, perceiving cause and effect, and make decisions based on reason and knowledge (not emotions).

•

I can be alone for hours and be completely content.

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Isolation

a People are invasive and demand too much.

•

isolating themselves, retreating into their minds, cutting

a It’s best to need little so I’m not dependent on anyone. a I’m on my own in the world, separate from the environment (an outside observer). a Allowing myself to fully feel my emotions would be unpredictable and scary. a Knowledge will keep me safe.

Fives avoid feeling overwhelmed and empty inside by themselves off from their feelings and other people, and compartmentalizing their life.

•

This defense mechanism allows them to distance themselves from what they believe is draining them — interaction with people and the world.

•

It allows for the illusion that it works since it gives them energy again. But it can cause real harm to their

a To be loved I must demonstrate my competence and knowledge.

relationships, which they long to have and maintain.

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES

PRACTICING AWARENESS

a Allow yourself to experiecne you feelings in the here and now instead of detaching and retreating in your mind.

•

a Notice how secrecy and intellectual superiority create separation and withdrawing and withholding invite intrusion. a Notice how much you like to control your space/time/ energy and manipulate others by restricing what and when you will give

Potential Trigger: I feel like my privacy is being invaded. I need my alone time and this is much to emotional and or chaotic for me.

•

Awareness: What is happening around me that makes me want to withdraw?

•

Practicing the work: Possibly expressing my feelings will create nourishment to connect with others. Create boundaries.

a Find ways to engage in conversation, to express yourself, and to reveal personal matters. a Take action, realizing that you have ample energy and suport to carry it off.

Enneagram Profile • Type 5

RachelPritz.com • 60

HEAD CENTER (IQ) Thinking triad

•

The Thinking Triad or Head Center contains Types 5, 6, and 7.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their THINKING.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through mental analysis.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is anxiety (or fear.)

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting SECURITY.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

When Fives are healthy, they are profoundly perceptive and capable of original, brilliant, and inventive solutions to problems. Average Fives feel more secure and at home when they are in their imaginations instead of actually applying their knowledge. Their lives can begin to unravel when they get lost in their thinking. Fives are fearful that they’re unable to do things well, so they spend a great deal of time thinking, studying, and preparing. To them, the world and other people are overwhelming and threatening, so they tend to retreat from the world in order to feel more secure. Fives observe the world from a detached, cerebral, and outsider view.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SELF-PRESERVATION

SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#5 Subtype • Castle

#5 Subtype • Totem

#5 Subtype • Confidence (Counter-type)

• Their primary focus is on creating boundaries. They have a need to be isolated in their own sanctuary (castle) where they feel protected from intrusions. • They have a strong need to control their boundaries and privacy. They are focused on having all the resources they need within their own castle, depending on no one for their survival. • They are the least expressive and most introverted of the Fives. To some degree, they enjoy the company of trusted others and sharing their knowledge, but they need extra time to build up their relational reserves.

Enneagram Profile • Type 5

• These Fives are the most extroverted and social Fives. They search for knowledge, believing knowledge is power.

• This is the Five with a romantic streak. They search for the ideal person who is a perfect example of absolute love.

• They focus their intellectual pursuits on a cause or a system of thinking to bring meaning to their life.

• These Fives are sensitive, and they desire to find a partner who fulfills their ideal of trust.

• They might share their knowledge, values, and ideals, but not their space, time, and resources.

• They suffer more than the other two Fives and can resemble Type Fours.

• They only deeply relate to people who are outstanding and share their same ideals. • They are constantly searching for the ideal so they can avoid experiencing life as meaningless.

• Their desires are also more overt. • They may have a vibrant inner life but are still more removed from others than most types. • They desire to share life with one other “ideal” person that is contained and private.

RachelPritz.com • 61

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a Five, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to learn quickly a The ability to conceptually understand the fundamental principles of how anything works a The ability to broadly comprehend a subject while penetrating it deeply (and in great detail!) a The ability to creatively solve highly complex and mentally challenging problems a The ability to work long and hard on anything that captures my interest/imagination a The ability to invent new theories, models or systems to solve problems a The ability to think logically and analytically (and make decisions that way) a The ability to investigate, inquire and research a The ability to experiment, explore, question and make discoveries a The ability to contemplate deeply, philosophize and understand abstract ideas and concepts a The ability to quickly understand computers and technology a The ability to debate and critique a The ability to use Socratic questioning and scientific methodology a The ability to perceive, discern and mentally interpret information that escapes most people a The ability to synthesize othersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ideas and form my own a The ability to stay open-minded, inquisitive and intellectually curious a The ability to see the big picture and develop long-range strategic goals a The ability to synthesize vast amounts of information a The ability to focus and concentrate deeply on projects that interest me a The ability to listen objectively and non-judgmentally and give unbiased advice a The ability to observe life impartially and see it from multiple, abstract perspectives a The ability to keep personal information confidential (important for most occupations) a The ability to share my findings with others (for my joy and their knowledge)

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 5

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 62

WORK VALUES

Some of the work values important to Fives are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Complex problem solving

a Innovation and originality

a Contributing ideas

a Intellectual achievement and status

a Creativity a Goal achievement/career success a Independence

a Leadership (type 5 connects to type 8)

a Seek knowledge and understanding a Time/schedule flexibility a Working alone

a Ongoing learning potential

LIFE VALUES

Some of the life values important to Fives are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Alone time

a Healthy questioning/skepticism

a Originality

a Astuteness

a Impartiality

a Perceptiveness

a Autonomy

a Independence

a Powers of concentration

a Being forewarned and forearmed

a Inquisitiveness

a Predictability

a Cleverness

a Insatiable curiosity

a Privacy

a Insightfulness

a Problem solving ability

a Intellectual challenge

a Rationality

a Intellectual stimulation

a Resourcefulness

a Intelligence

a Self-reliance

a Ironic, dry wit

a Solitude

a Judiciousness

a Prudence

a Keen observation

a Thrift

a Knowledge

a Time to prepare

a Life-long learning

a Understanding

a Live-and-let-live attitude

a Unemotional decision making

a Logical analysis

a Wisdom

a Competence a Confidentiality a Craftsmanship a Creativity a Discernment a Emotional self-control a Exploration a Fairness a Foresight a Forethought a Freedom to pursue personal interests

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 5

a Open-mindedness

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 63

CAREER SATISFACTION As a Five, career satisfaction means doing work that.....

a Allows me to work autonomously but with a few people whose expertise, intelligence, perceptiveness and competence I respect. a Allows me to work with a boss who is bright, reasonable, respectful and let’s manage my own time and work environment without micromanaging me. a Involves life-long learning and continually stimulates and challenges my mind. a Is mentally challenging and lets me test out ideas and experiment with unconventional approaches to find the best solution to problems. a Allows me to work in a quiet environment free from interpersonal conflict, intrusions, unnecessary interruptions, and especially emotional drama. a Gives me the freedom to effect change and develop people and/or systems. a Allows me to develop original and innovative solutions to complex problems that improve revolutionize existing systems. a Rewards me for my ingenious ideas and lets me maintain authorship and control over their implementation and execution. a Let’s me focus on the intellectual and/or creative process rather than the end product. a Allows me to have some say in how my performance will be evaluated and compensated.

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 5

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 64

MISSION STATEMENTS As a Five, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

a My mission is to bring more philosophical, spiritual and historical understanding to humanity through my writings a My mission is to conduct qualitative and quantitative chemical analyses to develop new products and knowledge a My mission is to conduct research into the phases of physical phenomena and develop theories and laws on the basis of observation and experiments a My mission is to write computer programs that help people run their businesses more efficiently a My mission is to restore antique furniture that people can cherish for a lifetime a My mission is to research a cure for cancer a My mission is to invent devices that give people more autonomy and better quality of life

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 5

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 65

TYPE

6 SIX

THE GUARDIAN (LOYALIST)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

CORE FEAR They have fear of fear itself, being in danger, uncertainty, chaos, not having support, security, and guidance. They also fear being blamed, in trouble, alone, targeted, helpless, unsafe, and physically abandoned.

TYPE SIX

THE GUARDIAN Engaging • Responsible • Anxious • Suspicious

“I am dutiful, reliable, dependable, responsible, and trustworthy.” Type Sixes anticipate life’s dangers. They are faithful, courageous, loyal, and effective, or cowardly, masochistic, and paranoid. Type Sixes are reliable, hardworking, organized, vigilant, dutiful, evaluating, persevering,

CORE DESIRE To have guidance, security, and support.

MOTIVATIONS They want to have security and certainty, to feel supported, the approval of others, to test the attitudes of others toward them, and to defend their beliefs.

cautious, anxious, believing, and doubting. Sixes get into conflicts by being defensive, doubtful, pessimistic, worrying, evasive, reactive, suspicious, and blaming others. When Sixes are at their best, they are faithful, secure, courageous, cooperative, disciplined, grounded, self-expressive, witty, and affectionate. They desire to know they are safe, fit in, and belong. More importantly, they want to have certainty and security and ability to put their faith in a trusted authority figure, belief system, or tradition. They see themselves as friendly, loyal, and cautious. They want others to see them as loyal, trustworthy, dedicated, reliable, supportive, responsible, and dutiful. Sixes have a wonderful sense of humor but can also be a bundle of contradictions. They can be submissive and cautious one minute and/or rebellious and courageous the next.

DISLIKES They do not want to feel abandoned, uncertain, pressured to do something conflictual, expected to accept new ideas rapidly, or to work with people who are not carrying their weight. They do not want to have their security systems and beliefs questioned, especially by anyone they see as an outsider.

WORK STYLE Relator

LEADERSHIP STYLE

Teammate, Community Builder

COMMUNICATION STYLE Tentative, funny, friendly, warm (or prickly), engaging, rebellious, provocative. Enneagram Profile • Type 6

They often take the position of the loyal skeptic to make sure everything goes well and is fair. Being a dependable person, they prefer the role of friend, loyal family member, or dutiful employee. They usually prefer not being in a position of authority because they fear they might be the target for opposition. They typically choose to be in a position under a leader they trust. They gravitate to people who are strong and protective. They are on the search for reliable and trusted authorities and friends who will have their backs. They are slow in placing their trust in people they meet. They need time to develop trust and assurance since they often identify with the underdog and believe that most people have hidden agendas. They worry that they could be taken advantage of, so they pay attention to insincerity and inconsistencies in others. To determine if a person is trustworthy, they may test that person’s loyalties in a variety of ways. If a person passes their testing process, the Six will be deeply committed and a most loyal friend. Since they are afraid of being unprepared or caught off guard, they will often rehearse in their mind what might happen and prepare themselves for what they will do in any given scenario. Unfortunately, Sixes often get stuck in analysis paralysis. Although Sixes have anxiety of what might happen, they need to remember all the good decisions they have made so they can move forward with courage in life and accomplish great things. RachelPritz.com • 67

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“THE DEFENDER”

“THE BUDDY”

Type Six with Five wing — 6w5

Type Six with Seven wing — 6w7

They are more introverted, intellectual, cautious,

They are more extroverted, materialistic, sociable,

focused, paranoid, anxious, and standoffish.

playful, funny, energetic, active, and impulsive.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Adviser

Optimist

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Enneagram Profile • Type 6

RachelPritz.com • 68

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

HE ALTHY

but as you grow and develop, you’ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Sixes are fully living out their identity by becoming self-affirming, trusting of self and others, and independent, yet symbiotically interdependent and cooperative as an equal with others. Their belief in themselves leads to true courage, positive thinking, leadership, and a rich self-expression.

Sixes are able to elicit strong emotional responses from others. They are very appealing, endearing, lovable, and affectionate. Trust is extremely important to them; therefore, you will find them forming bonds, creating permanent relationships, and making alliances with others. This brings them security.

They are very dedicated to individuals and movements in which they deeply believe. They are community builders and are responsible, reliable, and trustworthy. They are hard-working, persevering, and sacrificial for others. They create stability and security in their world by bringing a cooperative spirit.

4. They start investing their time and energy into whatever they believe brings them safety and stability. They start to look to their alliances and authorities for security and continuity. They become vigilant and are always anticipating problems. 5. To resist having more demands placed on them, they passive-aggressively react by becoming evasive, indecisive, cautious, procrastinating, and ambivalent. They are highly reactive, anxious, and negative. They give “mixed signals.” Their internal confusion makes them react unpredictably. 6. To compensate for their insecurities, they become sarcastic and belligerent, blaming others for their problems, and take a tough stance toward outsiders. They become defensive. They divide people into friends and enemies while looking for threats to their own security. They can be authoritarian while also fearful of authority, highly suspicious, and conspiratorial.

At this level, they fear that they have ruined their security and become panicky, volatile, and self-

UNHE ALTHY

disparaging with acute inferiority feelings. Seeing themselves as defenseless, they seek out a stronger authority or belief system to resolve all their problems. They become highly divisive, disparaging, and berating to others. 8. They feel persecuted, like others are “out to get them.” They lash out and act irrationally, which results in what they fear the most — abandonment. 9. Sixes at this level are hysterical and seeking to escape punishment. They can become self-destructive and suicidal. Alcoholism, drug overdoses, living a “skid row” lifestyle, and self-abasing behavior can occur. An unhealthy Six generally corresponds to the Passive-Aggressive and Paranoid personality disorders.

Enneagram Profile • Type 6

RachelPritz.com • 69

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 6 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 3

• Type 6 moves toward Healthy side of Type 3

• Become competitive and arrogant.

• Sixes need to learn most from the high side of Type Three by learning to be inner-directed and self-respecting.

• Avoid feeling anxious by being busy. • Reluctant to try anything new if failure is a possibility.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 6 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 9

• Type 6 moves toward Healthy side of Type 9

• Deal with stress by shutting down.

• They become more relaxed and optimistic. They empathize with others more.

• Do not want to be bothered or disturbed by their surroundings. Feel they have worked hard and deserve a break from life.

• They take life less seriously and free up their energy to relax.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Sixes believe the world is a dangerous place and that most people have

A Six’s focus of attention is always scanning

hidden agendas. Because of this, they deal with a constant feeling of

the horizon to predict and plan for worst-case

apprehension of the unknown. This means they feel the need to constantly

scenarios so they can prevent potential harm.

be on the lookout for possible threats to them and those they are loyal to. They are constantly planning for these catastrophes because it gives them a sense of control, safety, and security. If they can rehearse in their mind what might happen and develop strategies, then they believe they alone can keep them safe. •

Sixes constantly feel like they cannot keep harm from happening, they can become cynical and pessimistic (though a Six would say they are being realistic). With their mind constantly focused on what can go wrong, it is

The problem is that we do not have control or certainty on earth. We cannot

not easy for them to see the bright side of life.

predict the next five seconds, let alone the next day, week, year, or decade.

In fact, they can see this as being irresponsible

The more that a Six tries to control the outcome of life’s events, the more

and out of touch with reality.

they will see how unpredictable life really is. This causes them to try harder, yet with similar results.

Enneagram Profile • Type 6

RachelPritz.com • 70

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 6 HOW SIXES PARENT

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

Sixes can resemble Type Ones because of the similar traits

They are loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty and loyalty, but can be reluctant to give kids independence due to their many anxieties.

•

They can have a constant undertone of worry that their children will get hurt.

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

of being highly organized and responsible. However, a Six has these traits because they are trying to calm their inner anxieties by attempting to make their external world trouble-free and predictable. Of course, it is impossible to achieve this, but Sixes will persevere in the effort to make their world safe from danger and problems. The real source of anxiety in Sixes is an “internal

•

Looking for: Commitment, dependability, shared values, authenticity, and groundedness.

•

What gets in the way: Their self-doubt, vacillating between need for closeness and need for distance. They manipulate others by complaining and testing the other person’s commitment to them.

Relationship issues for Sixes include the following: •

They test others to see if they stay committed,

committee” of voices constantly chiming in with contradictory thoughts, analyses, and questions. This causes Sixes to constantly second-guess themselves, doubt what they know, and consult others. It is nearly impossible for them to think clearly and make a decision when their minds are revved up in this hyper-vigilant state. What Sixes really need is more inner quiet and peace. They can attempt this through learning how to have silence and solitude.

supportive, and loyal to them.

It is also good for them to take baby steps in this area and

•

They might freeze up or vent their anxieties.

worries and concerns, but then inform their inner committee

•

Can vacillate between being either dependent or rebellious.

•

They can be suspicious of others’ intentions, which causes mistrust and tensions in their relationships.

•

They tend to project their thoughts and feelings onto their partners, thus blaming them farthings that are not true.

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED) •

Unconsious: It’s not ok to trust yourself.

•

Needed message: You are safe.

respectfully listen to their “inner committee,” acknowledge their that they will now be making the mature adult decision after weighing the information.

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME a Please be direct and clear when you talk to me. a Listen to me carefully. a Please don’t judge me for my anxiety. It is difficult to have this much anxiety. a It is helpful if you are willing to work things through with me and not leave me feeling abandoned. a Reassure me that we will be OK even in difficulties. Please do this with sincerity and not patronizingly. I can tell the difference. a Be loyal, committed, hard working, responsible, and trustworthy. I admire these traits in others.

Enneagram Profile • Type 6

RachelPritz.com • 71

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 6 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A SIX

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING A SIX

•

It is hard to always doubt myself and have an “inner committee” constantly giving me contradictory information, making it hard for me to make decisions.

•

I am extremely loyal and faithful to those I trust and commit to.

•

Fearing that others will abandon or take advantage of me. Feeling that I always need to be calculating and worrying about worst-case scenarios.

•

I am diligent, responsible, and hardworking. I am compassionate toward others.

•

I am a great troubleshooter since I am constantly thinking through worst-case scenarios.

•

I have a good sense of humor.

•

When not living up to my own expectations, I become critical of myself.

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Projection

a The world is a dangerous and threatening place.

•

their own unwanted and unacceptable thoughts,

a Most people have hidden agendas and are not to be trusted.

feelings, motives, characteristics, and behaviors onto others. Sixes will use this defense mechanism when it is hard for them to accept and acknowledge that these

a My safety depends on knowing people’s intentions. a I must rely on something (like a religion or belief system) or someone outside myself for security.

Projection is when a person unconsciously attributes

are their own issues and not the other person’s. •

To the Six, their projections are reality. They will project more often when anxious. The more they project, the

a To be loved I must be loyal and supportive ALL the time.

more they create a false reality. This ultimately creates conflicts with others. They need to recognize their

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES

projections and discern if their thoughts are insights or projections. Examining this will help prevent harm to their relationships.

a Accept that some uncertainty and insecurity are a natural part of life. Notice how your doubts and mistrust can stress you and ruin relationships. Practice trusting and having faith in yourself, others and the universe. a Learn to be and act as your own authority rather than

PRACTICING AWARENESS •

a Ask yourself, “Is this a genuine intuition or a projection?”

•

decision?

get a reality check.

awareness of anxiety. a Use your imagination to create pleasant options rather

Awareness: Is something particular making me feel guarded? Why am I afraid to take this step or make this

Check out your fears and concerns with trusted friends to

a Notice how often you stay busy as a way to reduce

Potential Trigger: I don’t trust anyone. I don’t feel safe. I feel the need to questions people’s motives.

looking to others.

•

Practicing the work: How can I become less guarded? Make a list of ways it could go right. Become present, meditate, ask questions to relieve your anxiety.

than letting worst case scenarios dominate your thinking. a Notice how you tend to doubt your own decisions. Take time to remember past successes and accomplishments and develop more belief in yourself. Enneagram Profile • Type 6

RachelPritz.com • 72

HEAD CENTER (IQ) Thinking triad

•

The Thinking Triad or Head Center contains Types 5, 6, and 7.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their THINKING.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through mental analysis.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is anxiety (or fear.)

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting SECURITY.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

When Sixes are healthy, they think systematically and can predict potential problems. They are very loyal and committed friends and are looking for these similar qualities in others. Average Sixes, however, are doubtful and ANXIOUS about their ability to make good decisions so they look outside of themselves for”permission” from an authority figure or belief system before they make a decision. This allows them to feel they are guided, secure, and supported in their decisions. They like to find others who are on their side to help them feel secure and protected. Sadly, when Sixes are struggling, they can become suspicious, fearful and doubting of their allies and supporters. This can cause others to leave them and bring about the insecurity they are so desperately trying to avoid.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SELF-PRESERVATION

SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#6 Subtype • Warmth

#6 Subtype • Duty

#6 Subtype • Strength/Beauty (Counter-type)

• These Sixes are the most phobic Sixes and their fear expresses itself in insecurity, worry, and self-doubt. • They desire friendship and connection so they can feel safe, secure, and protected. • In order to feel protected, they will take on a surrogate family. • They will form alliances with friends and trusted others so they will feel safe and protected in the event of danger. • In order to gain friends and protectors, they will be warm, friendly, and trustworthy.

Enneagram Profile • Type 6

• These Sixes love accuracy and precision and do not tolerate ambiguity. They see life and situations in black and white. • They deal with their fear and anxiety by knowing and adhering to the rules to avoid blame or “getting in trouble.” • They adhere to the way a group thinks and focus on identifying who is “good” and “bad.” • They can be legalistic, efficient, and dutiful. They commit to what is expected of them and do not stray from these expectations. They feel safe by obeying the rules.

• This is the counter-phobic Six. Instead of caving into fear, they move into their fears with strength. They do this both verbally and physically. • They can appear bold, strong, and brave. They have a need to feel their strength and appear intimidating to ward off those who might want to harm them. Their motto is, “The best defense is a good offense.” • This type can look like an Eight, but this type still struggles with anxiety self-doubt, and worst-case thinking. They prepare themselves physically and mentally for any situation.

RachelPritz.com • 73

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a Six, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to notice flaws, discrepancies, inconsistencies, inaccuracies and contradictions a The ability to foresee problems and troubleshoot them before they occur a The ability to pay careful attention to details a The ability to organize resources, prioritize tasks and follow through on work projects a The ability to work hard with steady and persistent effort to achieve goals a The ability to think systematically and approach problems carefully and methodically a The ability to protect, guard, defend and keep people safe from harm a The ability to build trust with people with my strong sense of loyalty, duty and commitment a The ability to keep my word and do what I say I will do a The ability to cooperate and collaborate with others as part of a team with a common goal a The ability to sense danger and often prevent it from happening a The ability to keep on top of things a The ability to serve and support others and worthy causes a The ability to analyze a The ability to inspect, scrutinize and examine something carefully and thoroughly a The ability to investigate, probe and question a The ability to bring people together a The ability to create and provide stability and security for others a The ability to read people well and perceive whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not being said a The ability to follow rules, procedures and policies (as long as they are fair and ethical) a The ability to work for the common good and support causes (especially underdog ones) a The ability to move into focused action when known difficulties/problems arise

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 6

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 74

WORK VALUES

Some of the work values important to Sixes are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Clear directions

a Hard-work ethic

a Security

a Close friendships with coworkers

a Meaningful work

a Seek knowledge and understanding

a Close group/teamwork

a Open, honest communication

a Sense of mission

a Positively influencing people’s lives

a Stability a Strategic problem solving

a Precision work

a Trust

a Community involvement opportunities a Contribution (to betterment of world)

a Ongoing learning potential

a Predictability

LIFE VALUES

Some of the life values important to Sixes are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Affiliation

a Egalitarianism

a Reliability

a Being helpful

a Empathy for others

a Responsibility

a Belonging

a Faithfulness

a Saving money

a Bonding with others

a Fidelity

a Security

a Cautiousness

a Hard-work ethic

a Self-sacrifice

a Collaboration

a Healthy questioning/skepticism

a Sense of humor

a Commitment

a Intelligence

a Sensibleness

a Community

a Loyalty

a Supportiveness

a Compassion for others

a Perseverance

a Teamwork

a Concern for loved ones

a Persistence

a Thoroughness

a Conscientiousness

a Practicality

a Trustworthiness

a Cooperation

a Predictability

a Wittiness

a Dependability

a Protectiveness

a Dutifulness

a Prudence

Enneagram Profile • Type 6

RachelPritz.com • 75

CAREER SATISFACTION As a Six, career satisfaction means doing work that.....

Allows me to work with other conscientious, reliable, trustworthy, hardworking people as part of a collaborative team or on my own with a minimum of stress and competition.

Allows me to work with a boss who is patient, supportive, dependable, predictable and doesn’t take advantage of my loyalty, dedication and hard-work ethic by asking me to work overtime too much (so that I can have a personal life). Or, allows me to work for myself with no authority to worry about.

Offers clearly defined structure and guidelines to follow as well as a clear hierarchy of authority (if not self-employed).

4. Allows me time to do good, detail-oriented work at my own pace without pressuring me to make instantaneous decisions or work under pressure to tight deadlines. 5. Makes use of my innate ability to foresee potential problems before they arise. I am a natural troubleshooter. 6. Offers job security and stability. 7.

Allows me to protect, serve, support or ensure the safety of others in some capacity.

8. Makes use of my aptitude for research, investigation and detailed analysis. In short, any field that involves digging beneath the surface to uncover the hidden elements I’m good at. 9. Allows me to work carefully and methodically. I like to plan, organize and stay on top of things. 10. Rewards healthy questioning and skepticism as well as an inquiring mind.

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 6

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 76

MISSION STATEMENTS As a Six, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

a My mission is to help people overcome their self-doubt and indecision and learn to trust their own inner authority a My mission is to inspire and empower people to courageously face their fears that stop them from having the life they really want a My mission is to serve and protect my family and country a My mission is to help struggling newlyweds stay together a My mission is to provide stability and security form family and loved ones a My mission is to investigate all suspected criminal violations of federal laws a My mission is to bring more justice and fairness into the legal system a My mission is to help raise people’s self-esteem and lower their mental anxiety a My mission is to trust my divine intuition to take me where I want to go and stop second-guessing myself

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile • Type 6

RachelPritz.com • 77

TYPE

7SEVEN

THE OPTIMIST (ENTHUSIAST)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

CORE FEAR They fear being limited, bored, incomplete, inferior, missing out on something, disappointed, or trapped in emotional pain.

CORE DESIRE To be satisfied, content, and have all of their needs fulfilled.

MOTIVATIONS They want to be happy and satisfied, to enjoy a wide variety of experiences, to not be tied down so they can keep their options open, to enjoy life, to escape internal pain and any anxiety.

DISLIKES They do not want to be bored, to miss out on something fun and stimulating, to be forced to experience their pain and internal suffering, to be tied down, to feel trapped in their emotional pain or to feel inferior.

WORK STYLE Animator

TYPE SEVEN

THE OPTIMIST Spontaneous • Versatile • Acquisitive• Scattered

I am happy, spontaneous, enthusiastic, free-spirited, optimistic, and energetic. Sevens love to plan and anticipate positive future events. They enjoy having variety and multiple choices. They do not want to be limited, restricted, or bored. They may be well-rounded, affirming, and generous, or they can be narcissistic, an escapist, and have an insatiable appetite for excitement. Sevens are fun, excitable, spontaneous, optimistic, sociable, outgoing, talkative, planning and anticipating future events, and the life of the party. They run into problems by being scattered, distracted, impatient,thrill-seeking, demanding, and excessive. But at their best, they slow down and become grateful, receptive, thoughtful, and savor the present moment. They desire to be positive, enthusiastic, stimulated, excited about life, and fascinated by all that life has to offer. They see themselves as fun, diverse, and someone who can see the many possibilities life has to offer. They hope others view them as fun-loving, sophisticated, and joyful. Like children, they love anticipating new experiences, having fun, and dreaming up new and exciting possibilities. They are fascinating people and can charm anyone with their magnetic personality. They easily turn negative events into positive experiences by being funny and entertaining. They also love to be entertained. They have a wide range of passions and skills. These incredibly gifted people can cross fertilize their passions into a new passion or field. They can be extremely innovative by using their incredible minds and imaginations. Sevens are constantly thinking about the next exciting experience or stimulation. They will overbook themselves so that if something falls through or they get bored, they have multiple options at their disposal. They see life as an endless buffet full of incredible and delicious possibilities, and they desire to try everything twice. The first time is to experience it and the second time to

LEADERSHIP STYLE Champion/Cheerleader

COMMUNICATION STYLE High energy, fun loving, entertaining, storytelling, enthusiastic, evasive, exaggerating.

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

see if they liked it the first time. Enjoyment comes from living in their imagination and conceptualizing new grand ideas. Their superpower is in transforming boring daily tasks into something fun and interesting. Using their creative and upbeat energy, they inspire others to see the positive in life. Anytime life gets complicated, hard, sad, or boring, they will immediately choose to escape to an alternate path that brings them pleasure. They tend to fill their schedules to avoid dealing with their internal anxieties, pain, and sorrows.

RachelPritz.com • 79

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“THE ENTERTAINER”

“THE REALIST”

Type Seven with Six wing — 7w6

Type Seven with Eight wing — 7w8

They are more loyal, endearing, responsible,

They are more free, passionate, adventurous,

outgoing, relationship-oriented, playful, child-like,

strong, seek intensity, are leaders, quick-minded,

and anxious.

and creative.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

RachelPritz.com • 80

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

HE ALTHY

but as you grow and develop, you’ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Sevens are fully living out their identity when they are able to assimilate experiences in depth. This makes them deeply grateful and appreciative for what they have. They are awed by the simple wonders of life and savor each experience with gratitude. They are full of wonder and ecstatic about experiencing the joys of daily life.

They are highly responsive, excitable, and enthusiastic about sensations and experiences. They are the most extroverted type and stimuli brings immediate responses. They find everything invigorating and are lively, vivacious, eager, spontaneous, resilient, and cheerful.

They can easily become accomplished achievers, generalists who do many different things well (multitalented). They can be practical, productive, and prolific. They can be very creative, envisioning how several areas of interest can come together to make a maximum impact.

4. They become more restless and less focused. They become adventurous and are constantly seeking new stimulation and new experiences. Desiring what is sophisticated, they become a connoisseur and consumer of life. Money, variety, and keeping up with the latest trends are important to them. 5. It is difficult for them to distinguish between what they really need and what they desire. They desire it all, so they have a difficult time saying “no” to themselves. They throw themselves into constant activity and can lack restraint when they express themselves. Since they fear being bored, they get involved in doing too many things. Their mind starts to accelerate with an endless array of ideas and visions for future fun and experiences. 6. They get into many forms of excess. They become self-centered, materialistic, and greedy, all while never feeling they have enough. They can be demanding and pushy, yet unsatisfied and jaded. They can become addictive, hardened, and insensitive.

They start to believe they are an orphan alone in life. At this level, they are desperate to quell their

UNHE ALTHY

anxieties; they become impulsive and infantile. They do not know when to stop. Addictions and excess start to take their toll (e.g., debauchery, depravity, dissipated escapism, offensiveness, and abusiveness). 8. They are in flight from themselves and will act out impulses rather than dealing with anxieties or frustrations. They spin out of control, having erratic mood swings and acting compulsively (manias). 9. Finally, they become claustrophobic and panic-stricken because their energy and health is completely spent. They can experience deep depression and despair, self-destructive overdoses, and even impulsive suicide. An unhealthy Seven generally corresponds to the Manic-Depressive and Histrionic personality disorders.

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

RachelPritz.com • 81

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 7 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 1

• Type 7 moves toward Healthy side of Type 1

• They become perfectionistic and critical.

• Sevens need to learn most from the high side of Type One by learning to accept life as it is and live for a higher purpose, not just what is fun and exciting.

• They are cynical and hypercritical in trying to change people. • They blame others for preventing fun.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 7 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 5

• Type 7 moves toward Healthy side of Type 5

• Being positive all the time can be exhausting, so they may choose to withdraw, seeking seclusion.

• They become more focused and profound. They place more value on wisdom and discipline.

• They want to conserve their energy, no longer expending it on others.

• They become more accepting of all of life: good and bad, happy and sad.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Sevens have a fun, optimistic, and energetic way about them. Underneath

A Seven’s focus of attention is on best-case

the sunshine of a Seven is the need to avoid pain. They do not want to feel

thinking to provide exciting stimulation and to

anything that resembles sadness, grief, boredom, negativity, anxiety, or

avoid anything that brings them discomfort.

emptiness. To a Seven, they are “allergic “ to these kinds of emotions and have an “anaphylaxis” reaction to them. They will do just about anything to avoid experiencing them. •

One way a Seven avoids these darker emotions is to reframe situations or circumstances so they come out positive, happy, and motivating. Sevens have a natural gift in optimistically envisioning future possibilities.

•

Sevens will naturally downplay or overlook negative information and solely focus on the positive information or possibilities. Focusing only on the positive allows them to successfully avoid feeling any of the pain, sorrow, grief, and sadness buried deep inside. They are professional “spin doctors.”

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

RachelPritz.com • 82

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 7 HOW SEVENS PARENT

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

Sevens, like all other types, are susceptible to many of the more

They are enthusiastic, generous, and affirming. They want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life.

•

At times they may not be very attentive to their kids and family if they are too busy making plans and enjoying their own life.

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

difficult emotions: anxiety, depression, sadness, loneliness, and frustration. But they prefer to convince others and themselves that they are always “on top of the world.” Although at times they would like to share what they are really feeling, they feel compelled to constantly be upbeat, positive, and fun. When these darker emotions do bring them down, they prefer to experience them alone. They will struggle privately with self-doubt, sadness, loneliness, and even depression.

•

Looking for: Pleasure, fun, stimulation, adventure, excitement, and variety in life.

•

What gets in the way: Being unable to make a lasting commitment. They can manipulate others by staying upbeat and hyperactive. They can also insist that others meet their demands for immediate gratification.

Sevens are constantly battling the feeling that they will never really get what they want and need in life. They fear they will always feel a deep emptiness inside, never being fully satisfied. To avoid and distract themselves from their unpleasant feelings, they settle for any stimulation or experience that will bring them some level of satisfaction and pleasure.

Other relationship problems include: •

Others rarely have an opportunity to talk because the

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME

Seven can talk and share about themselves too much.

•

The relationship becomes very one-sided.

a Give me positive encouragement, affection, and freedom.

They become impatient with the slower pace of others.

a Accept me the way I am since I don’t like to be restricted

They can demand immediate gratification from others. •

They become an escapist when they need to deal with difficult conversations or emotional pain.

•

They falsely believe that others will not support them if they are down or depressed.

or told what to do. I do not enjoy when others are overly cautious, negative, and put limitations on me. a I really enjoy companionship, so share with me: stimulating conversation, laughter, fun, and spontaneous activities. a Humor me by listening to my stories and grand visions

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED) •

Unconsious: It’s not ok to depend on anyone for anything.

•

Needed message: You will be take care of.

even though I can go on and on about them. I love to talk and tell stories. a I am a very creative person. Please support my creativity even if it is different. I have an “allergic” reaction to criticism. a Enjoy life to the full with me by going to new places (trips, shopping, restaurants, etc.) and trying out new adventures (activities, movies, games, etc.).

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

RachelPritz.com • 83

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 7 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A SEVEN

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING A SEVEN

•

There is never enough time to do all the things I want to do in life. I tend to get caught up in many plans and grand visions. This causes me to become ungrounded and unrealistic.

•

I love that I am optimistic, spontaneous, freespirited, fun-loving, playful, youthful, and the life of the party.

•

I struggle to stay focused and complete tasks.

•

I love that I can be outrageous and outspoken.

•

I can feel confined, limited, and restricted in many or most one-on-one relationships. I find it hard to put down my roots and commit for a long time. I get scared that I am losing my freedom.

•

I enjoy being generous and making the world a better place for others.

•

I enjoy taking risks and being spontaneous in life.

•

I enjoy life to the full!

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Rationalization

a I require numerous enjoyable outside experiences to feel fulfilled.

Sevens avoid owning their real intentions, motivations, and

a Something better (more exciting, more fun) has to be just around the corner; I just need to keep looking. a To be loved I must keep myself positive and life “up.”

how their behavior impacts others by rationalizing their unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. They are skilled at knowing how to perfectly reframe any situation so their behavior is justified. This allows them to avoid the reality at hand (sadness, grief, hurting others, pain, limitations, boredom, etc.). They are skilled masters at charming

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES a Notice the boredom factor for you in personal growth and consciously choose to stick with something rather than changing constantly. a Practice accepting and fully living in the present moment whether painful or pleasureful, stimulating or boring. a Practice working on one thing at a time until it is completed. a Appreciate more deeply the feelings and concerns of others. a Recognize whether you are seeking pleasurable experiences for your own sake or whether you are escaping from a painful situation or from responsibilities that might constrain your freedom or deprive you.

their way out of being in trouble by spinning any negative situation into one that sounds positive, fun, and exciting to others. They are so upbeat, positive, and likable that it is hard for others to stay angry or upset with them.

PRACTICING AWARENESS •

Potential Trigger: I am bored. How much longer? This is depressing me.

•

Awareness: What is happening around me that makes me feel bored, trapped, depressed?

•

Practicing the work: What good could I be missing by lacking discipline? Bring present and embracing uncomfortable and boring moments. Think of ways to make them more enjoyable.

a Notice how you tend to rationalize and put a positive reframe on most situations, particularly when you want to avoid criticism, confrontation or pain. Realize that it is limiting to seek just the positive and avoid the negative. Learn to deal with pain, fear, restlessness, criticism and conflict rather than trying to escape from them. Enneagram Profile • Type 7

RachelPritz.com • 84

HEAD CENTER (IQ) Thinking triad

•

The Thinking Triad or Head Center contains Types 5, 6, and 7.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their THINKING.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through mental analysis.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is anxiety (or fear.)

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting SECURITY.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

Healthy Sevens do many things well because of their quick and avid minds. Average Sevens can over-extend themselves with more activities and experiences than they can accomplish. Sevens fear seeing and dealing with the pain and anxiety inside them. Because of this, they flee out into the world of activity, fun experiences, and stimulation. They fill their minds with exciting options and future plans to avoid dealing with their internal anxieties. An average Seven’s mind become restless. They will move from one activity to another without completing many; they enjoy being in a constant forward motion. They have trouble being still, quiet, or alone for any length of time because that is when their internal anxieties begin to arise.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SELF-PRESERVATION

SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#7 Subtype • Keepers of the Castle

#7 Subtype • Sacrifice (Counter-type)

#7 Subtype • Strength/Beauty

• These Sevens are more in touch with their anxieties, so they strive to make alliances by networking with others to create opportunities to have their needs met. • They find safety in being pragmatic and focused on their own wellbeing, by networking, and by being alert to any opportunity that will support their survival and need for fun. • They are cheerful, talkative, and upbeat. • People generally admire them and they tend to get what they want through their charm.

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

• This Seven tends to be more conscientious of others by serving them first instead of fulfilling their own desires first. • They desire to sacrifice their own needs for others, to avoid exploiting others, and to be good. • They want to be seen as good for the sacrifices they make on the behalf of others. • They express enthusiasm and idealism as a way to make them valuable in the world. • They have a very positive view of life.

• These Sevens envision something bigger and more spectacular than what is normal or realistic. • They are idealistic dreamers and live comfortably in their imaginations. • This type tends to see their world and opportunities through rosecolored glasses. They bring great optimism and see the great possibilities in life. • They can be gullible and easy to persuade due to their naivety. They are confident, enthusiastic, and light-hearted. They focus on exciting possibilities.

RachelPritz.com • 85

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a Seven, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to “think outside the box” and envision exciting, creative and novel ideas a The ability to see patterns and possibilities a The ability to see the big picture and the implications of my actions and ideas a The ability to learn quickly and do many different things well a The ability to experiment, investigate, explore and discover (I’m insatiably curious!) a The ability to accumulate enormous amounts of varied information (again, I’m so curious!) a The ability to work in a fast-paced, unpredictable environment calling for quick thinking/action a The ability to entertain others and make people laugh a The ability to brainstorm and create multiple options to solve a problem a The ability to courageously take risks, try new things and overcome or circumvent obstacles a The ability to read people well; to understand their needs and motivations a The ability to see the bright side of any problem or situation a The ability to bring enthusiasm, optimism, passion and fun to whatever work I do a The ability to arouse enthusiasm and excitement in others for my products, services or projects (great for winning supporters, investors or followers) a The ability to synthesize other peoples’ ideas and present my own original ones a The ability to network, communicate and interact well in interpersonal/social situations a The ability to bring people together who I know could benefit one another a The ability to see the best in anyone or anything a The ability to cheer people up when they’re down or just lighten the mood of others a The ability to see points of agreement between people’s different points of view a The ability to act spontaneously and adapt quickly to changing situations a The ability to multi-task and juggle many roles and responsibilities in life a The ability to go and go and go.... until I crash (like the Energizer bunny!) a The ability to identify and make use of available resources in ingenious ways a The ability to accept/appreciate differences and go with the flow a The ability to work well with my hands, with tools and with machinery (some Sevens) a The ability to plan (especially exciting things to do!) a The ability to anticipate wonderful things happening for me

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

RachelPritz.com • 86

WORK VALUES

Some of the work values important to Sevens are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Challenge

a Freedom

a Change and variety

a Hands-on work

a Contact with others

a Independence

a Contribution (to betterment of world)

a Meaningful work

a Excitement and adventure

a Originality and creativity

a Fast pace

a Ongoing learning

a Power & authority (7s with an 8 wing) a Risk-taking a Security (7s with a 6 wing) a Sociability a Time/Schedule flexibility

a Outdoor work

LIFE VALUES

Some of the life values important to Sevens are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a A great sense of humor

a Creativity

a Lightening others up

a A sharp wit

a Ecstatic appreciation for life

a Lots of laughter

a A wide variety of experiences

a Egalitarianism

a Making others laugh

a Accomplishment

a Enjoyment

a Anything new and exciting

a Entertainment

a New “toys” (material possessions)

a Being adventuresome

a Enthusiasm

a Being amused

a Freedom

a Being energetic

a Friendship

a Being happy-go-lucky, yet practical

a Full engagement with life

a Being optimistic

a Happiness

a Sociability

a Cheerfulness

a Having multiple options/ choices

a Unreservedness

a Companionship

a Imagination

a Conviviality

a Insatiable curiosity

a Camaraderie

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

a Gregariousness

a Pleasure a Positive anticipation a Positive possibility thinking a Productivity a Resourcefulness a Spontaneity

RachelPritz.com • 87

CAREER SATISFACTION As a Seven career satisfaction means doing work that...

a Allows me to work with adverse group of people who are fun-loving, funny, Interesting to talk to (perhaps even unusual, quirky or idiosyncratic in some way) and full of great stories to tell. a Allows me to work with a boss who is easy to get along with, completely open to new ideas (especially all of mine) and gives me plenty of freedom to manage my own time and work environment with a bare minimum of rules, regulations and limitations (preferably none!). a Is adventurous, fun, challenging, exciting and always varied! a Is done in a dynamic, engaging, entertaining, stimulating environment. a Allows me to use my imagination and ingenuity to experiment, explore and brainstorm. a Allows me to work on a variety of interesting projects with other people, motivated by creative possibilities. a Allows me to meet new people, constantly be learning and continually satisfies my curiosity. a Is consistent with my strong personal values, beliefs and ideals and has meaning and significance for me beyond a paycheck. a Allows me to act enthusiastically, laugh spontaneously and often, and lighten the mood of others. a Doesn’t require me to do tedious, boring, routine, detail work.

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 7

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 88

MISSION STATEMENTS As a Seven, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

a My mission is to bring more happiness and laughter into the world a My mission is to take people on exciting, adventurous trips all around the world a My mission is to inspire and empower people to go after ALL of their dreams and goals a My mission is to make people laugh by telling them hilarious stories and jokes a My mission is to experience a little bit of everything that life has to offer....and then go back for seconds! a My mission is to give my kids a well - rounded childhood by offering them opportunities to participate in or experience a wide variety of cultural events, sports, courses, camps, classes, concerts, movies, museums, books, plays, countries, etc.

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 6

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 89

TYPE

8 EIGHT

THE CHALLENGER (PROTECTOR)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

CORE FEAR They fear being weak, powerless, underestimated, dis-empowered, humiliated, vulnerable, mediocre, harmed, controlled, manipulated, or at the mercy of injustice.

CORE DESIRE They desire to protect themselves.

TYPE EIGHT

THE CHALLENGER Self-Confident • Decisive • Willful • Confrontational

“I am strong, assertive, and honest.” Type Eights fear being weak, vulnerable, and harmed so they create an image that they are strong, able to prevail, determined, and committed to those who are innocent. At their worst they can be vengeful, excessive, and destructive. Eights are intense, assertive, say it like it is, independent, resourceful, determined, actionoriented, pragmatic, competitive, shrewd, and insistent. Eights get into problems by being too blunt, forceful, confrontational, domineering, defiant, quick-tempered, rageful, cynical,

MOTIVATIONS They want to be self-reliant, have an impact on the world, to assert themselves willfully to stay in control, to prevail over others, and to be invincible.

and vengeful. At their best, Eights are inspiring, decisive, protective of the innocent, honorable, empowering, generous, gentle, and constructive. They want to be direct, straightforward, and honest. More than this, they want to be independent, make their own decisions, and pave their own path. They see themselves as self-assured, decisive, and capable of making things happen. They want others to see them as durable, fair-minded, and bighearted.

DISLIKES

Their idealized image is that they are protective and powerful. There is no shortage of

They do not want to feel out of control, weak or vulnerable, dependent on others, to be questioned for their decisions, to lose the support of others, to be surprised by others’ unexpected actions, or to be humiliated by others.

passion, intensity, and energy in Eights. They enjoy overcoming challenges with their quick

WORK STYLE Insister, Asserter, Decisive

LEADERSHIP STYLE Director

decision making and confidence. When they face adversity, they have the strength and stamina to face it head on with a take-charge, no-nonsense attitude. Their assertive stance and imposing presence can be intimidating to others. They intensely desire to experience as much of life as possible and to them “too much of a good thing” is almost enough. Eights will follow through with their commitments since their word is their bond. Their assertive energy can be intimidating to others. It is very important to Eights to be authentic and honest with their thoughts and opinions. Therefore, they have no problem speaking their mind. Their blunt, forceful, and confrontational communication style can be intimidating and off-putting to others. Eights can be easily misunderstood as being insensitive or mean. They will stand up for their beliefs and will not back down from a conflict since they see this as a sign of weakness. It is important to know that beneath their tough exterior is a tender, gentle, playful, loyal, and

COMMUNICATION STYLE Bold, direct, unemotional, matter of fact, brash, impactful, empowering, offensive or limit pushing.

caring person. They have a good sense of humor. They have an “inner circle” of people they are very loyal to and protective of. They will even go without to make sure that others will have what they need. They have their own “code of conduct” that they follow, and they have a strong internal compass for justice. They will protect the innocent from being at the mercy of injustice. Others follow Eights since they feel protected and secure.

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

RachelPritz.com • 91

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“THE MAVERICK”

“THE BEAR”

Type Eight with Seven wing — 8w7

Type Eight with Nine wing — 8w9

They are more extroverted, enterprising,

They are more mild-mannered, gentle, receptive,

energetic, quick, materialistic, interested in power,

enjoy their comforts, people-oriented, and quietly

and egocentric.

strong.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

RachelPritz.com • 92

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

HE ALTHY

but as you grow and develop, you’ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Eights are fully living out their identity when they become self- restrained, magnanimous, merciful, forbearing, and self-controlled. They are courageous and willing to put themselves in jeopardy to achieve their vision of having a lasting influence for the sake of others. As they put others before themselves, they can achieve true heroism and historical greatness.

They are self-assertive, self-confident, and strong. They have learned to stand up for what they need and want. They have a resourceful “can-do” attitude and passionate inner drive.

At this level, they are decisive, authoritative, and commanding. They are excellent natural leaders that others look up to. They have no problem taking the initiative to make things happen. They are a champion of people, a provider, a protector, honorable, and support others with their strength.

4. They begin to focus on self- sufficiency, financial independence, and obtaining enough resources to avoid dependence on anyone. They become enterprising, pragmatic, a “rugged individualist,” and a wheelerdealer. They also take great risks. They are extremely hardworking and deny their own emotional needs. 5. They begin to dominate their environment, including others. They want to feel that others are supporting their efforts. They can be boastful, forceful, and expansive. To them, they are the “boss” whose word is law. They are proud, egocentric, and want to impose their will and vision on everything. They neither see others as equals nor treat them with the respect they deserve. 6. They become highly combative and intimidating in order to get their way. They are confrontational, belligerent, and create adversarial relationships. Everything is a test of wills and they will not back down. They use threats and reprisals to get obedience from others, keeping others off balance and insecure.

They defy any attempt of others trying to control them. They become completely ruthless, dictatorial,

UNHE ALTHY

and believe that “might makes right.” They can become a criminal, outlaw, renegade, and con artist. They are cold-hearted, immoral, and potentially violent. 8. They develop delusional ideas about their power. They believe they are invincible and have the ability and strength to prevail in all circumstances. They are narcissistic, feel all-powerful, and believe they are indestructible. 9. If they get in danger, they may brutally destroy everything that has not conformed to their will rather than surrender to anyone else. They become vengeful, mean, and murderous. Sociopathic tendencies are possible. An unhealthy Eight generally corresponds to the Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

RachelPritz.com • 93

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 8 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 5

• Type 8 moves toward Healthy side of Type 5

• They become secretive and fearful.

• Eights need to learn most from the high side of Type Five by learning humility and their true place in the larger scheme of things.

• They are less in touch with their feelings and withdraw from others. • They fear that others will betray them.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 8 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 2

• Type 8 moves toward Healthy side of Type 2

• They want to be reassured that those dose to them still need them.

• They become more openhearted and caring. They have more empathy and compassion toward others.

• They show their feelings and vulnerability. • They desire to receive appreciation for all they do for others.

• They open up to others and reveal their vulnerability.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Eights have a constant need for intensity, control, and power. This is how

An Eight’s focus of attention is taking control so

they view the word. They will push and assert themselves willfully on anyone

they can protect themselves and others from

or anything to get what they want. They fear being at the mercy of injustice,

being controlled or harmed.

so they put on a strong front that intimidates others. They will not allow others to control or harm them. •

Being vulnerable is a sign of weakness to them, so they “put on” strong armor to protect their heart. To them, their heart is so tender that they rarely let this armor down for fear that they will be betrayed and hurt. Because this is a great fear of theirs, they simply do not allow this to happen.

•

Eights have an enormous amount of energy and intensity. When they desire or want something, they do not back down. They are tenacious, persuasive, and convincing.

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

RachelPritz.com • 94

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 8 HOW EIGHTS PARENT

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

They are often loyal, caring, and highly involved.

Eights present themselves as strong, tough, and

•

Sometimes they can be overprotective. They can be

layers of armor, they have a very tender heart. Their heart is

demanding, controlling, rigid, and intimidating.

so tender when exposed that they feel they must maintain

independent. However, beneath their strong exterior and

this protective armor to avoid harm. They rarely remove this

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES •

Looking for: Someone who is dependable, loyal, strong, and sexually compatible.

•

What gets in the way: Insisting that they maintain the

armor ; they do not trust people and are on high alert for those who are out to harm, betray, or control them. Deep down Eights desire to know that there is someone stronger than them who will constantly look out for them. This would allow them to relinquish their role of vigilant protector. If they find someone, they can truly trust in to protect and

control. Dominating and controlling the other person.

not harm them, they will remove their armor to reveal their

Demanding that others do as they say.

tender, gentle, caring side. This person will have the privilege of experiencing something great!

Here are some areas that can cause problems: •

They can lose their temper, go into a rage, or withdraw if they suspect that others have rejected or betrayed them

•

Eights will intensely push and demand an authentic response from the other person. If they have been hurt, they will withdraw and relationally cut others off.

•

They can be possessive and jealous.

•

They may not respect their partner and force them to change into who they want them to be.

•

Can be mean, insensitive, and vengeful.

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED)

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME a Stand up for yourself and for me. I need to know that you will protect me and not betray me. a Be confident, strong, and direct. If you cannot do this, then I will wonder if you will back down when I need you the most. a I do not give my trust away easily so don’t gossip about me or betray my trust. a Be vulnerable and open up to me. This helps me to open up to you when I feel safe. a Show me that you see and appreciate my tender and vulnerable side without manipulating me to let my guard down.

•

Unconsious: It’s not ok to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.

•

Needed message: You will not be betrayed

a I speak in a very straightforward manner and others can misread it. Don’t automatically assume that my assertive way of speaking is a personal attack. a Always speak the truth to me. If you sugarcoat the truth I will wonder if you are lying. Be blunt and to the point. I appreciate this.

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

RachelPritz.com • 95

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 8 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING AN EIGHT

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING AN EIGHT

•

I am independent and self-reliant.

•

I have a take-charge attitude and meet challenges head on.

•

I am self-confident with a can-do attitude.

•

I like that I am courageous, honest, and straightforward all the time.

•

Supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me is very important.

Most of the time, I am not intentionally trying to be mean or intimidate people with my straightforward, honest, and blunt communication. I put a lot of pressure on myself to make things happen.

•

I can be very restless and impatient with others’ incompetence and slowness. I become angry when rules are not followed or things are not done right.

•

I wish others knew how much they mean to me when I stick my neck out for them, but most of the time I do not get any appreciation for these efforts.

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Denial

•

The world is a hard and unjust place.

To present a strong exterior, Eights must deny the reality that

•

Emotional need is equated with weakness.

they are human, making them vulnerable and susceptible to

•

Only the strong survive.

•

It’s not safe to show softness or vulnerability.

•

The powerful take advantage of the innocent.

•

I must always be in control of my environment.

•

To be loved I must be strong and self-reliant.

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES

being harmed, controlled, and at the mercy of injustice like everyone else. By denying any weakness, they view themselves as invincible and capable to confidently control their life. Eights are confident because of this ability to use denial. Eights also deny, forget, or completely put out of their awareness something unpleasant. Others may point out to them that they were hurtful and insensitive, but the Eight may deny it because they have not allowed themselves to remember or even recognize that it occurred.

•

Practice waiting and listening before taking action as a way to moderate your impatience and impulsivity.

•

Go to a meeting and say nothing. Just listen.

•

Allowing yourself to experience vulnerability, innocence and tender feelings does not mean you are weak. On the contrary. It actually shows you are strong enough to let down some of your habitual defenses that prevent you from connecting with people in an authentic way.

•

Pay more attention to the impact your intensity has on others.

•

Start to question whether excessive behaviors are a way of concealing and forgetting your real priorities.

•

When you find yourself getting extremely angry at someone or some injustice, allow yourself to relax, breathe deeply and quiet your body and mind instead of reflexively starting to fight.

•

Write down and review insights about yourself as a way of opposing self-forgetfulness and denial.

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

PRACTICING AWARENESS •

Potential Trigger: This needs to be done now. This isn’t fair I am stronger than this, get out of my way.

•

Awareness: Why am I so tense, bullying and easily angered?

•

Practicing the work: How can I learn to collaborate with others? Is my intensity sabotaging my goals and relationships?

RachelPritz.com • 96

GUT CENTER (GQ) Instinctual triad

•

The Instinctual Triad or Gut Center contains Types 8, 9, and 1.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their INSTINCTS.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through their gut INSTINCTS.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is anger.

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting JUSTICE.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

Healthy Eights use their incredible instinctual intuition to see possibilities in situations and in other people ‘s abilities that are often overlooked. Average Eights have trouble relating to the world because they seek to resist and control their exterior environment. In order to be unaffected by the external world, they repress their internal fears and vulnerabilities. Average Eights will use their aggressive energy (anger) to control and dominate their immediate environment. Because they repress their “softer side,” Eights may lose both their ability to be close to others and their ability to trust anyone for fear of betrayal.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SELF-PRESERVATION

SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#8 Subtype • Satisfaction

#8 Subtype • Solidarity (Counter-type)

#8 Subtype • Possession

• This Eight appears more like a Type Five and focuses on obtaining what they need for power, position, survival, and control by being independent and strong.

• This subtype protects and supports others.

• This subtype is charismatic and emotionally intense in relationships.

• This counter-type is a “helpful” Eight. They appear to be more loyal and less aggressive.

• “Possession” means they tend to dominate the whole environment, demanding everyone’s attention.

• If someone weaker is being picked on or harmed, this Eight will viscerally step in to help.

• They enjoy the thrill of intense stimulation and adrenaline rushes.

• They are very practical and toughminded, seeking to have control of whatever resources they need to maintain their independence and dominance in every situation. • They are very resourceful and great at providing for their family. • They have a need for material wealth. They tend to get what they want and excel at bargaining and bartering.

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

• They are more overtly friendly, nurturing, and concerned with the injustices that happen to people, yet will still have an antisocial aspect to them in regard to society’s rules. • They are more outgoing,mellow, and slow to succumb to their anger.

• They are the most rebellious, provocative, and anti-social Eight. • They want to express their dominance and power over others and do not want to lose their sense of control in anyway. • They maintain their power and control by being unapologetically rebellious and domineering.

RachelPritz.com • 97

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a Eight, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to take charge and assume positions of leadership a The ability to see potential in people and possibilities in situations a The ability to empower and encourage others to be strong and take charge of their life a The ability to protect and help those that have been taken advantage of or mistreated a The ability to fight for truth and justice and stand up for what I believe in a The ability to put enormous energy, passion and intensity into whatever I do a The ability to achieve any goal I set for myself, by working long and hard if necessary a The ability to take initiative/action and get things done (and get things done quickly) a The ability to size people up quickly and figure out their weaknesses a The ability to take daring risks but based on practical intuition a The ability to enforce [fair] rules imposed on others and break [unfair] rules imposed on me a The ability to run my own business successfully a The ability to direct my own life and not be swayed, influenced or coerced by others a The ability to endure triumphantly/honorably through any tragedy, misfortune, or adversity a The ability to give my word and honor it, come hell or high water! a The ability to take control of a bad situation (a failing business or government, for example) and turn it around a The ability to create financial independence (because of my strong desire not to be dependent on anyone) a The ability to speak my mind and inspire others to do the same a The ability to remain a source of strength, stability, reliability and dependability for others despite extreme hardship or trying circumstances a The ability to accept enormous responsibility and solve difficult problems a The ability to produce positive change in the world (with my vision, compassion and strength)

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 8

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 98

WORK VALUES

Some of the work values important to Eights are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Autonomy

a Excitement and adventure

a Leadership

a Challenge

a Fast pace

a Meaningful work

a Competition

a Financial independence

a Power and authority

a Contribution (to betterment of world)

a Goal achievement

a Prestige and status

a Develop others’ potential

a High income

a Professional recognition

a Influencing other people’s lives

a Risk-taking

a Intellectual stimulation

a Time/schedule flexibility

a Diversity and change

LIFE VALUES

Some of the life values important to Eights are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Achievement

a Fearlessness

a Protection, of self and others

a Ambition

a Freedom

a Providing, for self and others

a Autonomy

a Getting results

a Resourcefulness

a Big-heartedness

a Hard-work ethic

a Self-assertiveness

a Boldness

a Having influence

a Self-reliance

a Championing others

a Honor and respect

a Shrewdness

a Control over their life

a Independence

a Sovereignty

a Courage

a Initiative

a Street smarts

a Decisiveness

a Justice

a Strength

a Directness

a Leadership ability

a Toughness

a Drive

a Loyalty

a Trustworthiness

a Empowering others

a Power

a Wealth (for some)

a Enterprising attitude

a Pragmatism

a Fairness

a Productivity

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

RachelPritz.com • 99

CAREER SATISFACTION As a Eight, career satisfaction means doing work that.....

a Allows me to be in charge (preferably working for myself) or working with a handful of people like myself that are hard-working, action-oriented, competent and honest. a Allows me to work with a boss (if I’m not the boss) who I respect and can trust. a Allows me to work with a boss that doesn’t micromanage, gives me freedom to take initiative and even allows me to take some calculated risks with big potential payoffs. a Is active, fast-paced, stimulating, challenging and has practical applications. a Respects my need to do things my own way, make my own decisions and have a great deal of control over my work. a Makes use of my ability to see possibilities in situations and people. a Rewards strength, drive, hard work, persistence and productive results. a Makes use of my innate desire to tackle problems head on and uphold just causes. a Involves real people and things, not abstract theories; where my efforts can be directed towards producing a tangible product or service. a Doesn’t require a lot of frustrating inefficiency or tedious detail work.

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 8

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 100

MISSION STATEMENTS As a Eight, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

a My mission is to make money and help my clients make money so that we have the financial independence to live life on our own terms. a My mission is to lead and empower people. a My mission is to bring out inner resources and strengths in people that they never knew they possessed. a My mission is to protect battered women from abusive husbands by setting up shelters. a My mission is to master myself so that I can have a beneficial impact on people and on the world. a My mission is to apprentice young, up-and-coming entrepreneurs. a My mission is to uphold truth and justice and champion people. a My mission is to help failing businesses get on their feet. a My mission is to provide for, protect, and above all my family. a My mission is to mentor and empower my athletes to be the best they can be both on and off the field (the mission statement of a college football head coach). a My mission is to create more principle-centered leaders.

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 8

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 101

TYPE

9 NINE

THE MEDIATOR (PEACEMAKER)

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

CORE FEAR

TYPE NINE

THE MEDIATOR Receptive • Reassuring • Agreeable • Complacent

They fear being in conflict, loveless separate, uncomfortable, unimportant, overlooked, shut out, or in an inharmonious relationship.

“I am content, peaceful, relaxed, steady, stable, gentle, natural, easygoing, and friendly.”

CORE DESIRE

Type Nines are very receptive to their environment and downplay their own presence. They can be loving, down-to earth, modest, and trusting, or stubborn lazy, and asleep to themselves.

They desire to have inner stability and peace of mind.

MOTIVATIONS Nines strive to have serenity, peace of mind, to create harmony in their environment, to preserve things as they are, to avoid conflicts and tension, to escape all upsetting problems, and avoid demands being placed on them.

Nines are kind, patient, steady, flexible, accepting, relaxed, unself-conscious, agreeable, content, comforting, and idealizing. Nines get into conflicts by being passive, resigned, stubborn, not wanting to be bothered, emotionally unavailable, complacent, unaware of their own anger, inattentive, and passive-aggressive. At their best, Nines are awake to themselves and to life, engaged with life and others, moving in their right action and calling, dynamic, inclusive, steadfast, healing, imaginative, serene, exuberant, and passionate. They strive to be accommodating, agreeable, natural, and comfortable. More importantly, they want to be calm, peaceful, and, if at all possible, avoid conflict of any kind. They see themselves as being open-minded, unassuming, and easy-going. They want others to see them as selfless, humble, approachable, content, and

DISLIKES They do not want to have conflicts with loved ones, to feel like they don ‘ t belong, are overlooked, or separated from others. They do not want to be angry, upset, or disturbed, to have their habits or routines interrupted, to be emotionally uncomfortable, or forced to face unpleasant realities.

WORK STYLE Diplomatic

bringing harmony wherever they go. Nines get along with most people because they desire harmony, union, and connection with others. They are unassuming, gentle, and thoughtful. They bring a sense of calm and peace to any situation and make others feel comfortable. They are nonjudgmental and can see all points of view, allowing them to be very empathetic. The problem comes when they focus too much on others and forget about themselves. They merge with the thoughts, feelings, and agendas of others, which causes them to fall asleep to their own thoughts, feelings, and agenda. They fear that waking up to themselves and asserting themselves will bring conflict or distance with others. They would prefer to go along to get along. Nines prefer to focus on similarities rather than differences. They dislike being drawn into conflicts and avoid being pressured to react. They suppress their anger and neglect their own needs in order to avoid the discomfort that comes with conflict. This can cause them

LEADERSHIP STYLE

to not pursue their gifts and passions in life. They may not even be able to know what they

Mediator

truly desire because it has been suppressed for so long. When a Nine does awaken to their passion and calling, they can accomplish a great deal in their pursuit. Nines are not likely to

COMMUNICATION STYLE Peacemaking, agreeable, complacent, stubborn, sagatelling, passive (aggressive), noncommittal, receptive. Enneagram Profile • Type 9

self-promote and would much rather others see their gifting and affirm them without asking for it. Others often underestimate Nines since Nines do not brag about their successes. People can be shocked and amazed when Nines quietly accomplish a great deal.

RachelPritz.com • 103

WINGS THE SALT & PEPPER TO YOUR TYPE

“THE DREAMER”

“THE IDEALIST”

Type Nine with Eight wing — 9w8

Type Nine with One wing — 9w1

They are more outgoing, assertive, anti-

They are more introverted, orderly, idealistic,

authoritarian, and may vacillate between being

critical, emotionally controlled, focused, cerebral,

confrontational and conciliatory.

and compliant.

Mediator Challenger

Perfectionist

Optimist

Adviser

Guardian

Achiever

Thinker

Individualist

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

RachelPritz.com • 104

AV E R AG E

(Auto-Pilot)

HE ALTHY

but as you grow and develop, you’ll be able to see what healthy looks like for you and what you need to do to maintain this level.

At their best, Nines are fully living out their identity when they become self- possessed, autonomous, and fulfilled. They have great equanimity and contentment because they are present to themselves. Paradoxically, being one with themselves enables them to form more profound relationships. They are intensely alive and fully connected to themselves and others.

They are deeply receptive, accepting, unselfconscious, emotionally stable, and serene. They are trusting of themselves and others, at ease with themselves and life. They are innocent and simple, patient, unpretentious, good-natured, and genuinely kind.

Nines are optimistic, reassuring, and supportive. They have a healing and calming influence. They have an amazing ability to harmonize groups by bringing people together. They are excellent mediators, synthesizers, and communicators.

4. They begin to fear conflicts. They become self-effacing and accommodating, idealizing others and “going along” with their wishes. They agree to things they do not really want to avoid any kind of conflict. They tend to fall into conventional roles and expectations. 5. They can be active yet disengaged, unreflective, and inattentive. They do not want to be affected, so they become unresponsive and complacent, walking away from problems and sweeping them under the rug. Their thinking becomes hazy and ruminative with mostly comforting fantasies so they can tune out reality. Emotionally lazy, they are unwilling to focus on problems. 6. They begin to minimize problems, appease others, and do whatever is needed to have peace. They can be extremely stubborn, fatalistic, and resigned, as if nothing could be done to change anything. They can also get into wishful thinking and magical solutions. Others can become frustrated and angry by their procrastination and unresponsiveness.

UNHE ALTHY

At this level, they can be highly repressed, undeveloped, and ineffectual. They feel incapable of facing problems, so they become obstinate and dissociate themselves from all conflicts. They can be so passive and neglectful that they can be dangerous to themselves and others.

8. Wanting to block out of awareness of anything that could affect them, they dissociate to the point where they eventually cannot function. They become completely numb and depersonalized. They finally become severely disoriented and catatonic, abandoning themselves and turning into shattered shells. 9. Multiple personalities is a possibility at this level. Unhealthy Nines generally correspond to the Schizoid and Dependent personality disorders.

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

RachelPritz.com • 105

UNDER STRESS

MISSING PIECE

What we are like when we are under stress.

After we begin to grow, we can transcend to this level.

• Type 9 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 6

• Type 9 moves toward Healthy side of Type 6

• They become anxious and worried. They become testy and defensive.

• Nines need to learn the most from the high side of Type Six by learning how to rely on themselves and grow in adversity.

• Their mind starts racing and their internal anxiety increases.

SECURITY POINT

GROWTH POINT

The way we behave with those we are totally secure with.

When we learn to begin to transform and grow.

• Type 9 moves toward Average to Unhealthy Type 3

• Type 9 moves toward Healthy side of Type 3

• With trusted others, they demonstrate their value, worth, and can even brag about their superiority.

• They become more self-developing and energetic.

• They may do busy work to feel productive and distract themselves from more important matters.

• They learn that the peace they seek comes from showing up, asserting themselves in life, and blessing others with their full presence.

PERSPECTIVE

FOCUS OF ATTENTION

•

Nines fundamentally believe that their own presence, opinions, priorities,

A Nine’s focus of attention is learning other

desires, and life do not matter much to others and the world. They grew up

people’s agenda so they know how to keep

thinking and believing that they should not assert or promote themselves,

the peace.

so they decided to blend in instead. •

focused on others. They do not like to be in the

do almost anything to obtain it. In fact, they will even lose themselves (their

spotlight.

passions, talents, drive, calling, and opinions) to keep the peace. They lose themselves by falling asleep to their internal world. Most Nines do not even realize that they are sleepwalking through life in an effort to create a serene and calm inner world. •

They are very warm, loving, caring, and

A Nine’s main desire is to have peace of mind and inner stability; they will

Nines struggle with inertia and most of the time they are not moving in their own right action, but instead they merge with others. Their growth path is to find their own passion

They do this by being easygoing, flexible, even-tempered, accommodating,

and calling and move full force in that

and agreeable with life. They easily see everyone’s point of view and merge

direction with boldness and confidence.

with others to keep harmony in the relationship.

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

RachelPritz.com • 106

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 9 HOW NINES PARENT

THEIR HIDDEN SIDE

•

On the surface, Nines appear to be the most easygoing,

They are very supportive, kind, and warm. They can sometimes give in to their children’s wishes when they need to say “no.” They can place too much focus on their children and lose themselves in the process of parenting.

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

pleasant, and calm people imaginable. They seem always willing to accommodate without strong preferences of their own. But underneath this peaceful facade they have a reservoir of anger and rage hidden from themselves and others. Nines really want to have their own independence and autonomy (to not be bothered). In fact, they do not want life itself to bother them. If life or people interrupt their calm and peaceful state,

•

Looking for: Comfort, peace, harmony, connection, stability.

•

What gets in the way: Insisting they do not see or acknowledge problems. Remaining neutral in conflicts. “Checking out” and passive-aggressively resisting others

they will try to accommodate in hopes of keeping everything peaceful so they can quickly go back to their inner calm. If they are constantly bothered or expected to accommodate, they will become irritated and resentful. They will not express their desires or feelings because they believe it will cause

Other issues for Nines in relationships include:

conflicts and discord. So they suppress their anger and simply

•

constantly demand of them and do not allow them to go back

They agree to things with no intention of following through. Being agreeable to avoid conflicts. Instead of dealing with issues, they become emotionally unavailable and withdraw.

•

Nines can be very stubborn and desire autonomy. They

“go along to get along.” They may eventually explode if others to their inner calm. Nines need to learn how to express their desires and ask for what they need.

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH ME

do not want to be bothered, yet simultaneously desire to feel connected and close. This causes confusion for others. •

A Nine’s deep well of anger rarely comes out, but it can erupt like a volcano. They can also display their anger by becoming completely numb.

•

The Nine may deny or be blind to how they display their anger. This inability to see how their actions negatively impact others can cause more distance with their partner.

a I enjoy serving others but not if l am expected or demanded to do so. I enjoy listening to others but I don’t like it when I feel others take advantage of my kind nature. a Please listen intently to me when I speak and show me that what l say matters to you. It is helpful if you reword what I said back to me, since this really demonstrates to me that you heard me and care. a I am often unclear with what I want or need. Please help me discover my real desires by asking me questions.

CHILDHOOD MESSAGE (REAL OR PERCEIVED)

This may take a long time, so please be patient with me. I am not trying to be difficult or stubborn. I simply do not

•

Unconsious: It’s not ok to assert yourself.

•

Needed message: Your presence matters.

know my desires. a I do not like confrontation, so please work with me to find common ground. If we are in a conflict, please speak to me in a gentle and kind way. a Your affirmations show me that you see me and that I matter to you. They are like fuel to my heart!

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

RachelPritz.com • 107

GETTING TO KNOW A TYPE 9 WHAT’S HARD ABOUT BEING A NINE

WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT BEING A NINE

•

Being too sensitive to criticism; taking everything too personally.

•

Being a nonjudgmental and accepting person.

•

Being confused or unclear about what I really want in life.

•

Caring for and being empathetic of others.

•

I’m able to relax and enjoy life as it is.

•

Not being listened to or taken seriously.

•

Being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline.

Knowing that I’m easy to be with and people enjoy my comforting presence.

•

Numbing out when I get overwhelmed.

I am a good mediator and can bring harmony to unlikely situations.

•

Adaptable and easy-going

POSSIBLE LIMITING BELIEFS

DEFENSE MECHANISM: Narcotization or Dislocation

•

The world won’t value my efforts.

Because Nines desire to have inner stability and peace of

•

My presence/participation in the world is unimportant.

•

Having my own agenda disrupts harmony with others.

•

Getting angry disconnects and isolates me from people.

•

If I assert myself I will destroy my relationships.

•

To be loved I must forget myself.

GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES •

•

Start a daily practice of previewing (at the beginning of the day) what is most important to you and reviewing (at the end of the day) how well you did you did with this practice. Use your frustration/anger when you feel discounted by someone to remind yourself that what you have to say does really matter. Take a personal position on issues that are important to you.

mind, they try to avoid conflicts at all costs. If they are unable to do this and something feels too large, complex, difficult, or uncomfortable to handle, then they will unconsciously check out mentally. This kind of defense mechanism is called narcotization. Type Nines will distract or narcotize themselves by engaging in routine activities that are familiar, require very little attention, and give them comfort. Nines love routines because they believe routines will bring them peace of mind and comfort, especially morning and evening routines because they can “check out” and don’t need to be aware. If these routines are interrupted, Nines can become irritated, agitated, or even disoriented. Examples of routines or activities that Nines typically enjoy are: taking a walk, bike ride, a drive to see nature and scenery, reading books by the same author or in the same genre, engaging in frequent or extended casual conversations, or watching TV.

PRACTICING AWARENESS

•

Notice numbing behaviors (overdrinking, over eating, TV, phone, social media) that block out your real feelings.

•

Avoid belittling yourself and making others more important or intelligent.

•

Notice your stubborness and passive resistance, and start to state what you need directly or what you disagree with.

•

Accept some discomfort and change as a natural part of life.

•

Potential Trigger: I need a break. This is all too much. “I’m fine.” Awareness: Where am I disengaging? Having a hard time with difficult conversations, completing tasks and making decisions.

•

Practicing the work: How can I be courageous in this moment? Am I awake to what “I” want and need? What work is necessary for peace in this situation?

Make action plans. Notice when you are procrastinating.

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

RachelPritz.com • 108

GUT CENTER (GQ) Instinctual triad

•

The Instinctual Triad or Gut Center contains Types 8, 9, and 1.

•

This group shares similar assets and liabilities surrounding their INSTINCTS.

•

They tend to engage in life and circumstances through their gut INSTINCTS.

•

They do this out of a reaction to their emotion STRUGGLE, which is anger. Note: Type Nines are asleep to their anger and do not know this is their emotional struggle.

•

The common DESIRE they share and focus on is wanting JUSTICE.

•

Below you will see how this type expresses these aspects differently.

Healthy Nines are open, receptive, reassuring, and encouraging to others. They create a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere that enables others to flourish. Average Nines resist both the external environment and their internal fears and anxieties. They want their reality to be peaceful and free of conflicts and problems. They suppress their anger and their aggressive feeling to keep their outer and inner worlds calm and harmonious. They can suppress it so much that they lose their own sense of self. Nines try to control their inner and external world by ignoring whatever parts of it make them uncomfortable or in distress.

INSTINCTUAL SUBTYPES SELF-PRESERVATION

SOCIAL

ONE-TO-ONE

#9 Subtype • Appetite

#9 Subtype • Participation (Counter-type)

#9 Subtype • Fusion

• This subtype merges with familiar routines, physical comforts, and dwells in a supportive environment where they are untroubled by other people’s influence and requirements of them. • They have their own pace, routines, philosophy of life,and will stubbornly resist any demand to change these. • They are patient, grounded, and have a good amount of common sense. • If their routines and lifestyle are disrupted, it is extremely difficult and challenging for them. They use these routines to help them fall asleep to life and themselves.

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

• This subtype merges with a group so they can feel like they ‘’belong” somewhere. They never fully feel like they fit in. • This is the counter-type because they are more outgoing, active, and involved with the world and others. • They are optimistic and tend to be the “glue” in society, yet they will still withhold themselves emotionally. • This subtype can resemble Types Three and Seven because of their cheerfulness and task-orientation, but they still struggle with inertia and fully knowing and pursuing their own desires.

• This subtype merges or fuses with someone. • They take on the attitudes, ideas, and feelings of others since it seems too difficult to stand on their own. • This gives them internal anxiety because they tend to lose themselves and their identity in the process. • An internal battle ensues because of the desire to merge and the need for autonomy. This makes them resemble Types Four and Six. • They are kind, shy, gentle, and lack assertiveness. They take in the world with child-like awe and wonder. RachelPritz.com • 109

NATURAL GIFTS & TALENTS As a Nine, I have some, or all, of these natural gifts and talents that I take for granted:

a The ability to listen to people patiently, attentively and non-judgmentally a The ability to accept and appreciate other people just the way they are a The ability to see other peoples’ points of view and value differences of opinion a The ability to put people at ease with my even-keeled presence, calmness and patience a The ability to work steadily and persistently toward my goals without giving up a The ability to communicate well and get along with all kinds of people (even difficult ones) a The ability to create peace and harmony between people (and even countries) a The ability to adapt, accommodate, “go with the flow” and “live-and-let-live” a The ability to feel connected with others (and even one with the universe) a The ability to mediate conflicts and disagreements between people; to harmonize a The ability to look for the positive in any situation a The ability to see the good in others a The ability to make people feel included and important a The ability to comfort, support and empathize with others a The ability to explore the world of dreams and symbols and think holistically a The ability to express myself creatively through art such as music, painting, dance, etc. a The ability to communicate with and care for animals (some Nines are gifted with animals) a The ability to help people relax, see the big picture, and put things in perspective a The ability to value life’s simple pleasures and comforts a The ability to endure hardships and difficult times (with my quiet strength and tenacity) a The ability to handle crises well by remaining calm and collected

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

RachelPritz.com • 110

WORK VALUES

Some of the work values important to Nines are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Aesthetics and beauty

a Help others directly

a Security and stability

a Clear directions

a Meaningful work

a Sense of mission

a Close friendships with

a Open communication

a Sociability

a Peaceful and harmonious environment

a Time/schedule flexibility

coworkers a Close group/teamwork a Contribution (to betterment of world) a Creativity and originality

a Positively influencing people’s lives a Predictability

LIFE VALUES

Some of the life values important to Nines are: (Mark which ones apply to you) a Acceptance of what is

a Following traditional values

a Mellowness

a Adaptability

a Friendship

a Open-mindedness

a Being understanding

a Generosity

a Optimism

a Calmness

a Gentleness

a Patience

a Comfortable routines

a Guilelessness

a Peace of mind

a Companionship

a Harmony in the environment

a Receptivity

a Conviviality

a Having inner harmony

a Relationship

a Cooperation

a Having inner stability

a Relaxation

a Diplomacy

a Humbleness

a Security and stability

a Dislike of conflict

a Imagination

a Seeing others’ viewpoints

a Emotional well-being

a Inclusiveness

a Self-awareness

a Empathy

a Kindness

a Serenity

a Feeling connected

a Live-and-let-live attitude

a Steadfastness

a Finding unity

a Loyalty

a Supportiveness

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

RachelPritz.com • 111

CAREER SATISFACTION As a Nine, career satisfaction means doing work that.....

a Allows me to work with other creative, considerate, accepting people in a cooperative, stress- free environment with no interpersonal conflict, tension or strife. a Allows me to work with a boss (if not self-employed) who is supportive, patient, understanding, easy to get along with, and shows sincere appreciation for my work. a Makes use of my natural ability to communicate with and relate to anyone with relative ease. a Makes use of my nonjudgmental listening skills and ability to understand other people from their point of view. a Supports and benefits other people but gives me a clear sense of what will be expected of me (so that I don’t end up getting sucked into doing more than I really want to do). a Allows me time to do good work at my own pace without compelling me to make instantaneous decisions or work under pressure to tight deadlines. a Makes use of my ability to mediate conflicts, put people at ease and gain others’ trust. a Allows me to use my powerful imagination and natural ability to think holistically. a Makes use of my innate ability to see the positive in a situation, in people and in life.

WHAT I LOSE TRACK OF TIME DOING Hint: Do more of this column

Enneagram Profile • Type 9

WHAT SUCKS MY ENERGY

Hint: Do less of this column or delagate

RachelPritz.com • 112

MISSION STATEMENTS As a Nine, here are some Personal Mission Statements I might identify with...

My mission is to allow events to unfold in their own natural way without seeking to shape or manipulate them. Ease and tranquility is available to all at any time.

My mission is to help create world peace by accepting myself and others just the way we are.

My mission is to help people grow and develop so they can express more and more of their full human potential.

4. My mission is to help clients gain self-understanding, peace of mind, and harmony within themselves, their relationships and their lives. 5. My mission is to help people develop their spiritual side and ultimately realize our oneness. 6. My mission is to help each of my clients find a job that is a good fit for his/her personality. 7.

My mission is to make crafts that are attractive as well as useful to people.

8. My mission is to help people heal both physically and emotionally after a crisis. 9. My mission is to help people better understand the symbolism of their dreams.

MY PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Come up with your own mission statement in the space below.

Enneagram Profile â&#x20AC;˘ Type 9

RachelPritz.com â&#x20AC;˘ 113

APPENDIX

APPENDIX Stances

ASSERTIVE

DEPENDENT

WITHDRAWING

This stance is also called “moving against” or fighting. You are most likely Type 3, 7, or 8. These three types take the direct approach They move against what gets in the way of their pursuit of their:

This stance is also called “moving toward or with,” submitting, or giving in to others. You are most likely Type 1, 2, or 6. These three types see an external point of reference. They move toward what will help them earn:

This stance is also called “moving away” or keeping to oneself. You are most likely Type 4, 5, or 9. These three types go inward to find fulfillment. They move away from what triggers a sense of:

• Goals (Type 3)

• Righteousness & autonomy (Type 1)

• Something lacking (Type 4)

• Satisfaction (Type 7)

• Attention & approval (Type 2)

• Personal inadequacy (Type 5)

• Agenda (Type 8)

• Safety & Security (Type 6)

• Distress & discomfort (Type 9)

Enneagram Profile • Appendix

RachelPritz.com • 115

APPENDIX Coping Styles In The Wisdom of The Enneagram, Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson describe what they refer to as three Harmonic Groups, which organize the nine types according to their coping styles. The Harmonic Groups tell us how we cope with conflict and difficulty: how we respond when we do not get what we want. They reveal the fundamental way that our personality defends against loss and disappointment.

THE POSITIVE OUTLOOK GROUP

Types 2, 7, and 9 This group deals with conflict or difficulty by putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses and thinking positively to reframe disappointment. Each of the three types in the positive outlook group has a difficulty giving equal attention to both their needs and the needs of others.

THE COMPETENCY GROUP

Types 1,3, and 5 This group deals with conflict or difficulty by putting aside personal feelings and needs and attempting to solve problems logistically and objectively. Each of the three types in this category has a particular attitude toward playing the rules.

THE REACTIVE GROUP

Types 4, 6, and 8 This group deals with conflict and difficulty by reacting emotionally, and they expect an emotional response in return so they can know where others stand. Each of the three types in the reactive group has issues around trusting other people.

Enneagram Profile • Appendix

• TWOS tend to recognize the needs of others and are happy to roll up their sleeves to tackle others problems while pushing their own into the background. • SEVENS tends to be more focused on their own needs and often fail to notice the needs (and problems) of others. They put an emphasis on positive experiences and environments. • NINES try to pay attention to others’ needs, as well as their own, and as a result, they often become overwhelmed so they tend to tune out instead of responding to either.

• ONES being competent by being correct and sensible. They aturally tend to play by the rules, and they expect others to do the same • THREES will play by the rules if that works for them, but they are willing the bend the rules in order to meet their goals or objectives. • FIVES aren’t interested in following the rules. They don’t like being part of the system, so they prefer to do things their own way

• FOURS tend to feel like they’re on the outside to begin with and are very sensitive to slights and perceived slights (lack of support). They are easily hurt. • SIXES want to be seen as strong and reliable, but at the same time, they want to feel supported by others. They can get defensive. • EIGHTS react by openly expressing anger. They seek independence and self-reliance. They do not like to be controlled or to feel vulnerable. They keep their guard up.

RachelPritz.com • 116

APPENDIX DiSC & Myers-Briggs Translation

MBTI vs Enneagram INFJ

INTJ

INTP

ISTP

ENFP

ENTJ

ENTP

ESTJ

INFP

ISTJ

ISFP

ISFJ

ENFJ

ESTP

ESFJ

ESFP

Enneagram Profile • Appendix

RachelPritz.com • 117

APPENDIX Feelings Wheel

geous Valued

Sad

ful

lled

Disgusted

to ni sh e le Di xe d sil lus d io Dis Am ma ned az ye Sho d Co ed cke n f d u Unf se ocu d sed Sta r tle Sleep d y Tire Out of d Contro l Overwhelm Stressed ed

Rushed

Sad

Enneagram Profile • Appendix

Disgusted

Angry

Pressured c Apatheti rent Indiffe

Busy

ted

ss le th r or rio e W fe at In qu de d Ina rrie d Wo me l he erw ned Ov e t h Frig ess Help

g er

Violated

Indignant

re cu se In us xio An red Sca

o Ar

Bored

Bad

ite

s Jealou Furious

Ridicu led D is respe Dow cted n Th Res rea e n tful ten Bet Re ed ray je e ct d Exp ed os W e ea d Ne rvo k Pe us rse cu Ex te In cl d ud si gn ed iﬁ ca nt

Let

Fearful

Surprised

l yfu

Pla

Mad

Humilia

nte

ive

ress

b m wn Nu ra d ith d W ye no n A ed riat Infu tile Hos ked Provo

Bitter

sted

ate

str

Angry

Happy

Proud Intere

sta

Agg

Accepted

Conﬁdent

Fru

rful

Respected

Successful ive Inquisit ous Curi ful Joy e Fre

ful

Powe

Repe

tic

t ep

i rit

sti

Pea

Hesita nt Horr iﬁed Dis sa Det pp esta Di oin ble ss N au ted ap sea pr t e Re ov d vo in lt e g Ap d pa Em lle d J u bar ra dg s Di s ed sm me nt is a l si ve

Tru

tive

e Ch

Hurt

Coura

Embarrase d

ing

Crea

itiv

nkf

ire

Dissapointed

Lov

Inferior Depressed Empty y Guilt l rsefu Remo ir d spa De ame le Ash ss ab er erle uln Pow V ly ief ne Gr Lo e gil d Fra i ze d im ne ct Vi do d e an at Ab ol Is

Int

Tha

Fearful

Bad

Surprised

Happy

RachelPritz.com • 118