Costumes

The only Halloween costume I remember from my childhood is the year I was a ballerina. That sticks out because I lost my ballet shoe in a snowbank and had to dig through the snow to get it and run to catch up with my friends! Brrr! As I started getting older though, in college and beyond, I do remember several of the costumes I pulled out of my closet - a fortune teller (more than once), Professor Trelawney (the Divination teacher at Hogwarts), a goddess (a favorite go-to), a queen, and one year I was a mummy (an ace bandage and pregnant belly make for a lot of fun!). Aside from the mummy, you might sense a bit of a trend…and maybe there’s a reason for that.

Sometimes our costumes are just for fun. Some are based on characters or time periods we enjoy. Sometimes we take the opportunity to try on a persona we usually wouldn’t. And often, our costume choices can tell a little something about what we desire in life, feel about ourselves subconsciously, or consciously believe about our authentic personalities. We can sometimes express ourselves in costume better than words, especially if we’re just having a good time. The party atmosphere of Halloween lets us let loose and not hold quite so tightly to the rules we normally live by in everyday life.

For me, that has meant that for years I have expressed my mystical, sovereign self even when I didn’t realize that’s what I was up to! Our soul selves are pretty powerful and when they have the chance to come out and play - they’re going to take it! I only realized this a few years ago - one of the times I dressed as a goddess and was playing with titles or labels that fit the changes I was feeling in my life. That fall I was really exploring my spirituality and learning about various forms of healing, some old, some new, some new again. Putting on my goddess robes felt less like a costume and more like who I actually was. At the party I went to that night I talked with friends about spirituality, divinity, energy work, and more - all things I’ve always been curious about but never looked into because I felt like I shouldn’t or thought people would think I was weird. It felt a little like something in my armor had cracked, just a little, and putting on that delicate gold headpiece reflected light that was seeping out from inside…some energy that I’d denied for almost four decades!

Do you explore your dark side by pulling out the vampire teeth or dressing as your favorite movie villain? Do you let your inner child play as a fairy tale character? Do you let your wise inner voice come forth as a teacher? Does your sensual self stand up as the flirty nurse or a sexy maid?

Wait! What did I just say? Did I lose you there? That seems to be the line people are divided by when it comes to Halloween costumes. There are a whole lot of sexy versions of things in the pop up costume shops, aren’t there? And I’ve known a lot of people, over the years, who question why that is. I’ve been one of those people. Recently, though, I’ve come to the conclusion that wanting to play with this side of our personalities is no different that wanting to explore the magical side or the fun side or the innocent inner child side. None of us are one thing, even when it seems like we’re supposed to be. And when we deny or shut down some part of us, it doesn’t mean it’s gone…it’s simply hidden. Sometimes hidden things want to be found!

So, again, some of us might make an intentional choice to buck the system we live in day to day and throw on a costume that seems out of character. Others might be drawn to a costume idea and not notice that it’s a part of them that is trying to be seen more. Either way, though, what if we tuned into this idea and explored it more thoroughly? What could happen? A more authentic you? Let’s do it!

In general (and I’m not saying always or for everyone), society tells us that certain rules apply to the roles we take on. Societal influences could be religion, media, culture, family, or any number of other things. Sometimes rules change, but rarely without super uncomfortable situations happening first. Let’s take a less serious one as an example - you can’t wear white after labor day. Could you imagine the gumption it took to be the first person in some high-class circle to step out for brunch with white on well into the fall? The looks she must have received! The whispered comments all around her as she held her head up high and walked to meet her friends at a table across the room. The sideways glances all those friends shared wondering if they should say something to her or try to ignore her faux pas, wondering if maybe this was just one step too far?

That example might sound silly, but think about the woman who wears a suit by day and is a team mom for her kids by night and just wants to feel flirty again dressing as Marilyn Monroe in that classic white dress, -walking into a Halloween shindig with her head held high while everyone around her whispers and gawks and wonders if she’s lost her mind. Is it that different? Why can’t we wear white after labor day? Why can’t we be professional and motherly and sensual and smart and fun and and and….? Why?

The why is that we’re afraid of being judged by all those societal norms. Those norms and that judgment is made up, though. It’s not factual. It’s not a law of physics like gravity or the truth of the matter as declared by law. It’s a social agreement that wearing white is a summery thing to do and, therefore, we shouldn’t wear it after the holiday that traditionally marks the end of the summer. It’s the cultural notion that when women become mothers they shouldn’t be sexy anymore. Or when women are in the workplace, they shouldn’t show emotion. Or that men shouldn’t show emotion at all. Or that pink is a girl’s color. Or that sports are more important than the arts. Or that kids need to learn to read by first grade.

Okay, I’m getting a little off topic, but it’s all so connected. The fear of being judged by our friends, family, neighbors, even strangers is what keeps most of us from falling out of line for most of the year. But when Halloween rolls around…sometimes we throw caution to the wind and pull out the sparkly eyeshadow and a sheet or dust off our witch’s hat or let ourselves be seen through the fog machine fog as something different than our obedient normal selves.

What if we did so more often? How more full could our lives be if we connected with all the parts of ourselves on a regular basis rather than only yearly? How glorious would it be to express our magical, serious, playful, scarred, anxious, silly, sexy selves authentically? How freeing would it be to simply wear white whenever you want to?

Something to think about. Maybe something to play with and lean into. Definitely something to applaud and appreciate in others. In fact, next time you see someone holding their head high and wearing something, doing something, or being someone other than what’s expected, don’t be the person who whispers or gawks. Be the ally who smiles and nods or high fives or compliments or simply doesn’t mention that anything is odd or weird and chats about the weather and how fabulous it is to feel fully alive!