COPING WITH ADOPTER'S REMORSE

By Sheryl Green

We’ve all been there… you bought a pair of shoes because they looked “super cute” in the store, but when you got them home, it was like a Medieval torture contraption. Or perhaps, you bought the latest gadget but it wasn’t quite everything you’d hoped for. Sometimes, you return the item back to the store and move on with your life. Other times, you end up adjusting to your purchase and learning to love it (or at the very least live with it).

We’ve all had Buyer’s Remorse, but did you ever experience Adopter’s Remorse?

WHAT IS ADOPTER’S REMORSE

That dog or cat seemed like a great idea when you were at the adoption event. Cute, cuddly, well-behaved… you may have found the perfect pet.

Until you got him or her home.

Your wonderpup has now whined through the night, pooped in your favorite pair of shoes, and your childhood stuffed teddy bear, Mr. Jeebs… moment of silence.

What’s a responsible, loving, pet parent to do?

OVERCOMING ADOPTER’S REMORSE

Patience Can you imagine bringing your human baby home from the hospital only to find that he or she doesn’t use the potty and just goes to the bathroom all willy-nilly? What about crying through the night and keeping you awake for days on end?

You probably wouldn’t bring the baby back to the hospital and say, “Just kidding.” Nope. You’d understand that it’s going to take a while to adjust to this “new normal” and you’d be patient during this time.

The same goes for a pet who is entering your home. It may take three+ weeks for your pet to feel at home, allow their real personality to shine through, learn the ropes of their new environment, and possibly even bond with the humans or other pets in your house. Be patient and you’ll be rewarded with amazing amounts of love and loyalty.

Training Even if your pet comes into your home knowing how to sit, stay, and fetch a soda, they’ll still need to be “trained.” Where do they go potty and how do they alert you? Where is their food, water, toys, etc.? Are they allowed on the furniture? There will always be something you have to teach them. And sometimes, you’ll need to call in a professional.

Home and Schedule Adjustments

Having pets will make you a neater person. Especially after they eat something of yours off the floor. When you get a pet, you may need to start picking up after yourself, not eating in front of the television, or coming home after work instead of going out with friends. This is part of pet parenting!

WHEN IS IT TIME TO RETURN YOUR PET?

While it’s difficult to accept, sometimes, it’s best for everyone if the pet doesn’t stay in your home. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the animal or that you’ve failed as a pet parent. It just isn’t good fit.

If there is aggression towards any of the human or furry family members in your home, the risk of danger may be too great. In some instances, you may find that one of your existing family members poses a threat to the new animal. In either case, you’ll want to contact the rescue or shelter you adopted the animal from and request a return. This is a last resort.

Bringing a new family member into the home will always be an adjustment. Be patient and provide the training necessary to help the animal integrate into your life. Adopting an animal is a commitment to doing whatever is necessary to give them a good life.

Sheryl Green is an author, writing coach, and passionate animal advocate. Find her at www.unleashedcommunications.com

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