Honi Soit Edition 1214 by David Mack

HONISOIT

20 12

Week Two August 8

Survival to revival: the USU looks to the year ahead

Prof John Keane: the politics of Confucianism

CAMPUS

OPINION

Sydneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s party renaissance: good music, great times 7

FEATURE

Contents

This Week

Campus

Adam Chalmers talks to the new President of the University of Sydney Union

10 Taboo

NOW ONLINE

Meth: not even once. Well, maybe once, if you’re George Evans

HONISOIT.COM

Profile: Tom Switzer

ARTICLES, VIDEOS, MUSIC & MORE

Michael Koziol meets the USSC researcher and editor of the polemical Spectator Australia magazine.

12 24 Hour Party People

Sydney’s late-night party scene is oftderided, but there are folks out there doing their best to change it. Many of them are also from Sydney University, writes Angus Farrell

16 Tech & Online

Advertising: Amanda LeMay & Tina Kao publications.manager@src.usyd.edu.au www.src.usyd.edu.au / www.honisoit.com

8 Third Drawer

22 Sandstone Report

Secret species grow in whale carcasses on the ocean floor, discovers Arghya Gupta

WED

Lecture Notes

Quizmaster Richard Withers has lined up another blockbuster quiz to help pass the time in ECON1001.

Alcoholic academic Dr Rupert Thorogood faces the wrath of an irate student.

Planner

Distinguished Speakers Program: Professor Michel Rosenfeld 6pm, The Foyer, Sydney Law School, FREE

This exhibition takes fifty of the most extraordinary objects from the Nicholson Museum’s collection and tells the often bizarre or wonderful story that has attached itself to each since the moment of its discovery.

Renowned US constitutional law lecturer, Professor Michel Rosenfeld will discuss how the First Amendment of the US Constitution has run amuck.

Join the Usyd and UNSW Germans Klubs for a giant schnitty and a brew.

Disclaimer: Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Rafi Alam, Peta Borella, Michael de Waal, Raihana Haidary, Jeremy Leith, Leo Nelson, Astha Rajvanshi and Max Schinter. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Printed by MPD, Unit E1 46-62 Maddox St. Alexandria NSW 2015.

FRI

50 Objects 50 Stories: Extraordinary Curiosities Nicholson Museum, FREE

$14 members/$20 non-members

Cover: Ben Lau

Honi’s Guide to what’s on THU

Stammtisch @ Essen 6pm, Essen Restaurant, Broadway

Contributors: Shaun Crowe, John Gooding, Arghya Gupta, John Keane, Mason McCann, Laura Murphy-Oates, Andrew Passarello, Mariana Podesta-Diverio, Samantha Wright

Action-Reaction

7 Op-Shop

Lucy Watson uses the power of Instagram for evil, while Neha Kasbekar revamps Australian reality TV.

Reporters: Rafi Alam, Adam Chalmers, Angus Farrell, Neha Kasbekar, Jack Nairn, Virat Nehru, Sean O’Grady, Lucy Watson

Crossword: Goti

Rekindled Confucianism would be a mistake for the CCP, writes Professor John Keane

Editors: Hannah Bruce, Bebe D’Souza, Paul Ellis, Jack Gow, Michael Koziol, Rosie Marks-Smith, James O’Doherty, Kira Spucys-Tahar, Richard Withers, Connie Ye

Honi Soit road tests the new Sydney Uni smartphone app

6 News Review

James O’Doherty visits tobacconist Sol Levy for a different take on the smoking debate.

Editor in Chief: James Alexander

Snowball 7pm, Manning Bar, $5+bf/$10+bf The winter counterpart of Beachball, this year’s annual shindig features The Only, Nice & Ego, Movement, Nuff Jockey DJ’s and Beat The System DJ’s.

Party Like Papa Wemba 8pm, Spaceport One, Marrickville, $15 Party with a purpose! This joint fundraiser for West Papua Media and Free Congo Media features dancing, art raffles, traditional Congolese food and sangria, as well as live music from DJ Smart Casual, all for only $15.

Performing Arts Ball: ‘Le Chat Noir’ 7pm, The Refectory, Holme Building ACCESS $45/$55

MUSE, MADSOC, SUDS and SURCAS have teamed up again to bring you the annual Performing Arts Ball. Don your best corset and head along for a night of debauchery.

SAT

SU N

N MO S TUE

Snakadaktal

Sydney Rock ‘n’ Roll Alternative Market 10:30am, Manning Bar, Entry by Donation

Sleek Geeks at the Sydney Town Hall Mon, 7pm, Sydney Town Hall, FREE

Experience the ‘Ultimate Subculture Market’, with over 50 amazing stalls. Featuring The Toot Toot Toots (Melb), Spurs For Jesus, The Drey Rollan Band, Jordan C. Thomas Trio and DJs, along with a new Tiki Bar Courtyard. Corona’s ahoy!

Learn and laugh with the Sleek Geeks, Adam Spencer and Dr Karl Kruszelnicki, as part of National Science Week.

8pm, Metro Theatre, $20 Triple J Unearthed High winners and indie-pop sweethearts, Snakadaktal bring The Dance Bear Tour to Sydney. Catch their singles ‘Chimera’ and ‘Air’. Supported by Sures and Fishing.

Crafternoons: Learn to Knit 2pm, Surry Hills Library, FREE Become the envy of every nanna and get those needles a’clickin’. Wool and needles supplied.

honi soit

O P i cukr

The Sun-Herald City2Surf From 7:50am, CBD to Bondi Beach, FREE Every dog and his man seem to be running this year. Cheer on your friends and remember to donate to one of the many charities the race raises money for.

@honi_soit

Indigenous Health Forum Tues, 5:30pm, Eastern Ave Auditorium FREE

Organised by the Sydney Uni Medsoc and MIRAGE Rural Health Club, the forum features keynote speaker, Dr Tom Calma, the former Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Social Justice Commissioner and Founder of Close the Gap Steering Committee to talk about ‘Closing the Gap’. FREE FOOD.

Spam EDITORIAL

LETTERS

The debate continues...

Rebecca Elias, President LifeChoice Sydney Dear Honi, As President of LifeChoice Sydney, I applaud student discussion on the issue of human euthanasia, even as expressed somewhat crudely by Tom Raue in last week’s Honi Soit. Though the SRC Vice-President and I might disagree fundamentally on this issue, as someone committed to diverse and rigorous student discourse, this is welcomed coverage. It is therefore disconcerting that in the same column, Raue would use the legitimacy of the SRC to squash further discussion by censuring LifeChoice’s members for their views on euthanasia, all the while imposing his own personal morality on the student body. This is questionable for the obvious reason that euthanasia is currently illegal in New South Wales and across most of the world. While here at LifeChoice we don’t believe ethics are decided by simple majority, it should nonetheless be taken into account before one starts hysterically singling a USU club out as an enemy of human rights. By all means, argue for voluntary euthanasia, just don’t be shocked if people disagree with you. The fact remains that human euthanasia is a very complex bioethical issue, encompassing political-legal, cultural, medical, and ethical concerns. It is also contested internationally. In January this year, the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe adopted a Resolution stating that “euthanasia must always be prohibited.” In 2011, the European Court of Human Rights asserted that there is no right to euthanasia or assisted suicide. To date there is not a single human rights institution which holds euthanasia to be a human right. This would suggest that the SRC is severely overreaching its competence in making this recent declaration. It’s probably the only legislature in the world which describes euthanasia in such terms. Commitment to such a definitive position, particularly one which is at odds with mainstream Australians, certainly deserves caution and substantially more consideration than a single council meeting. Raue’s own defence of voluntary euthanasia brings into question our conception of morality, the termination of human persons, and human rights. This is admirable and will undoubtedly provoke excellent discussion. Students should be able to discuss complex ethical issues like euthanasia, rigorously and respectfully, without having to worry about dogmatic prescriptions from the SRC or Tom Raue. Otherwise, Raue and co will likely only delegitimise themselves from future discussion.

The value of free speech Michael Todd Commerce II

Dear Honi, I thought that a few things should be cleared up with your readers before they pledge their support to the suppression of LifeChoice based on Tom Raue’s arguments from last issue. Firstly, euthanasia is currently illegal in NSW. Should a society be dismissed and censored as hateful and inappropriate for being in accord with the law? Are Tom and the SRC a higher authority than the government and the courts of our country, that they may censor opinions based on their own non-mainstream views? Secondly therefore, if Tom wants to censor Lifechoice’s views on abortion, then he should also censor his own views on euthanasia, seeing as he obviously does not believe in having the ability to speak out against the establishment. The Newtown police department would suggest otherwise however, demonstrating his ridiculous inconsistency. I hope that in the Lifechoice debate and the upcoming SRC elections, students will value free speech and be wary of those who want to use their power to impose their personal views on the university, to the exclusion of all others. Best regards, and God save Her Majesty.

On the right side of the law...

Christian Jones President, Sydney University ALP Club Dear Honi, In an email sent to all law students last week, the Faculty of Law distributed material advertising the Sydney University Liberal Club’s annual debating competition the Howard Cup. We as a club find it extremely inappropriate that a Faculty at this University would distribute advertising material for a politically aligned group on campus. We have never approached a Faculty on that basis, nor would we consider it appropriate to do so, in order to publicise an event designed to recruit members to a political party. The action undermines the independence of a Faculty that is required to maintain strict impartiality in its dealings with students. This is not something unusual - it is commonly understood that an institution that educates should not actively promote a particular ideological viewpoint. We hope that from now on the Law Faculty is more careful with what they promote in line with the expectation placed on them by the education system.

Fe e l Wr i ti n g H o n e to i ? hon isoi t20 us 12@ gm a il . c

In recent months there has been a focus on Sydney at night. The City of Sydney released its blueprint for improving our ‘night-time economy’, the NSW Government is slowly recognising the essential role of late-night retail and entertainment in our local economy, and politicians embarked on making Sydney safer at night after the tragic death of Thomas Kelly in Kings Cross. What ‘big media’ is not reporting, and what many politicians don’t realise, is that Sydney’s nightlife is going through a renaissance. Ask your parents where they went out in Sydney when they were students and inevitably the answer will be local pubs, going to see a local live band, and maybe even Kings Cross, although back then it was truly ‘red-light’. Fast forward to today and what are the options? Small bars seem to be popping up every day, the multitude of fantastic (and not so fantastic) nightclubs around Kings Cross, Oxford St, and Darling Harbour, live gigs, festivals, and warehouse parties are now all part of the normal night time landscape.

Sydney has become a major centre of nightlife activity that sits well among the other global cities but has only recently started to find its true identity. Unfortunately this means that many of our policy makers and venue owners are now out of touch with the needs of modern Sydney. This is reflected in lack of night time transport, our ridiculous drinking laws, and city noise restrictions that only stifle this ‘nightlife renaissance’. This week Honi Soit dives into some of the parties and artists that are changing our nightlife landscape for the better. Many you probably haven’t heard of but may well want to check out next time you’re thinking of going out in the emerald city. Sydney’s local musicians are extremely talented, our venues are more varied, and the expectations of young Sydneysiders higher than ever before. Young Sydneysiders want good music and great times when we go out - give that to us or we will make it happen ourselves. Catch me on Twitter: @shortino29

A not so capital idea Can you help? Tom Raue Arts IV

Dear Honi, I found Adam Chalmers’ article on capitalism and Indigenous people (Capitalism comes good in the outback, August 1) highly misguided and disturbing. Adam’s description of an indigenous business as “strangely poetic” and inspiring is a pretty inappropriate comment considering the disastrous effects capitalism has had on these communities. The introduction of western imperialism decimated the Indigenous population and forced them into poverty. Before the British invasion, the land and resources in Australia were held in common by all. Capitalism meant the seizure of this land by white people, to be partitioned off and sold. Indigenous people were forced off the land to make way for industries like wool production. Today, capitalism is entrenched in Australian culture. Basic human needs like food and shelter are not treated like rights, but simply as commodities to be traded on the market. This is all well and good for people like myself, with a middle-class family and an eduction, but it is terrible for most Indigenous Australians. These people are disadvantaged from the start, and it is insulting to expect them to pull themselves out of poverty as Adam suggests. The model Adam points to is one where Indigenous Australians bear the responsibility for their own oppression. It is up to these downtrodden people to engage in western capitalism in order to fix the very problems capitalism has caused them. Screw that. Yes, we should respect the rights of Indigenous people to autonomously organise their own communities, but we should not idealise capitalism as the way to do it.

www.honisoit.com

The lost Donut Dexter A.

Dear Honi, I actually attended the University of Sydney, Cumberland Campus from 20072011. During that time a small group of friends and I would go to Donut King in the Wentworth Building almost every morning and be greeted warmly by three particular employees named Jack, William, and Kevin. After graduation my friends and I planned a small gift, however much to our surprise we found that Donut King was no longer there. I was wondering if anyone from Honi Soit had any idea of where Jack, William, or Kevin may be now so that their individual gifts may be given. (Although, due to their Chinese background, my friends and I were under the impression that these are not their given names.) I know that this is an odd request for information, however those three employees did greet us by our names everytime we visited for 4-4.5 years and we would just like to thank them.

RETWEETS: SRC Honi Soit @honi_soit 10:25 PM - 23 Jul SRC votes to support drug legalisation. #usydsrc Adam Chalmers @adam_chal 10:25 PM - 23 Jul What does that even mean? Can I buy drugs from Tom now? Storm Swan @steph_revelry 10:25 PM - 23 Jul impact on anything = 0

honi soit

Campus HONILEAKS

WEEKLY NEWS

Koori Centre under threat

All your university gossip, rumours, allegations and revelations with Kira Spucys-Tahar

Changes to student support need student consultation, writes Laura Murphy-Oates At the end of last semester, Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Indigenous Strategy and Services) Professor Shane Houston enacted a series of changes that will lead to the closure of the Koori Centre. A Facebook group called ‘Save the Koori Centre’ quickly garnered more than 250 concerned students, community members, and alumni, describing itself as ‘a non-autonomous group for the discussion of the university’s decision to close the Koori Centre’. Since then, much confusion has arisen as to the actual fate of the Centre, with the university stating that it is not closing, but rather undergoing a radical reconstruction process. Regardless, both Indigenous students and other students studying at the centre continue to be outraged at their treatment throughout this process, as they believe they have been left completely in the dark about changes that could effectively mean the dismantling of their student support services and the abolition of subjects such as Indigenous Honours. The changes are being conducted under the auspices of a new Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander strategy called ‘Wingara Mura- Bunga Barrabugu’, launched during STUVAC last semester. The biggest change is the breaking up of the support staff from the Koori Centre into various ‘satellite centres’, where each faculty will be encouraged to create a ‘mini Koori Centre’ to look after Aboriginal education. This is ostensibly meant to ensure greater integration of Indigenous education and issues across the university. Students are mostly concerned about the decentralisation of support and the lack of consultation with students throughout the process by Professor Houston, who was appointed last year as part of the new strategy. Indigenous Student Representative for the SRC Narelle Daniels said: “Shane has completely disregarded the students’ needs and has little understanding of how the sense of community that is

Honi elections underway

engendered by the Koori Centre benefits the university. All of our attempts at talking to him have been met with rudeness and condescension and he has blatantly told me that ‘these changes are not about the students’.” According to Ms Daniels, the dismantling of the Koori Centre began when the main student support officers were moved out of the Koori Centre to the Jane Foss Russell Building in August last year. Although students and community members undertook a letter writing campaign to stop this, the officers were still moved. “Rarely in the new plan, if you read it, is student support mentioned,” said Cassie McFarlane, also an Indigenous Student Representative. “It is all about increasing numbers of Indigenous enrolments to gain more funding and about appearing to make change, when, in a time of appalling statistics for retention of Indigenous students in university, it is this student support which gets them through.” Despite widespread confusion as to the implications of the new strategy, Professor Houston has pushed back consultation with students until the end of August - after the changes have been implemented. In fact, no students - and only a few of the Koori Centre staff - were invited to the launch of the new Indigenous Strategy where guests included Senator Chris Evans (Federal Minister for Tertiary Education, Skills, Science, and Research) and the university Chancellor Marie Bashir. Many students have expressed their frustration about being kept in the dark, resorting to contacting Professor Houston via the ‘Save the Koori Centre’ Facebook page. “Shane Houston- why no consultation with students?” posted Oscar Monaghan. “It is disingenuous to suggest staff changes aren’t going to affect students.” At the time of writing, Professor Houston could not be reached for comment.

Eureka! Sydney Uni’s got talent

Seven academics in science and information technology are shortlisted for the Australian Museum Eureka Prizes, reports Connie Ye The country’s largest prizes for science includes within its finalists four individual academics and one team of scientists from the University of Sydney. The Australian Museum Eureka Prizes, presented annually by the Australian Museum, reward achievement and excellence in a variety of fields including research and innovation, leadership and commercialisation. Associate Professor Min Chen, Professor Tony Weiss, Dr Michael Biercuk, Professor Seok-Hee Hong were the individual finalists representing both the Science and the Engineering and Information Technologies faculties. From the Westmead Millennium Institute a team led by Associate Professor David Booth, Professor Graeme Stewart, and Professor Jacob George are in the running for the

honi soit

Medical Research Translation prize. Many of these academics have had their work acknowledged and are renowned for being world leaders in their fields of research. To list but a few of their achievements, Associate Professor Min Chen discovered the first new cholorphyll in over 60 years, while Professor Tony Weiss has been working on transferring his research on tropoelastin into clinical applications for human tissue repair. The prize winners will be announced at the Awards Dinner on August 28. Members of the judging panel include Chancellor of Monash University Dr Alan Finkel and presenter of ABC Radio National’s The Science Show, Dr Robyn Williams.

There are at least two tickets looking to make a tilt at becoming editors of Honi Soit in the SRC/Honi elections later this semester The first group is headed by Science Revue director Adam Chalmers and 2011 ‘Boom’ Honi editor Michael Richardson. The ticket also includes third year debater and SASS Director of Publications Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Former Bull editor and the other SASS Director of Publications Alex McKinnon, with Theatresports veteran Maddie Parker, will be making their second attempt at editing after running unsuccessfully with ‘Extra for Honi’ last year. Another name currently tied to the Chalmers/Richardson ticket is second year debater Felix Donovan. The group has close ties to the ‘Voice’ independent bloc, and a preference deal between the two groups seems likely. A second group has emerged out of the campus-based Grassroots faction. Candidates include SRC Welfare Officer and Sydney Globalist editor Rafi Alam and Grassroots convener and Education Revue cast member Mariana PodestaDiverio. The ticket also includes LitSoc VicePresident and ARNA editor Bryant Apolonio. These candidates are joined by current Bull editor Xiaoran Shi and second-year economics student and SUDS producer Nick Rowbotham. There is also talk of a third ticket in the works, but details at this stage are sketchy at best.

Taking chances with a new Chancellor Rumour has it the favourite to replace Marie Bashir as Chancellor of the University of Sydney is Fellow of Senate and current Deputy Chancellor Mr Alan Cameron. Mr Cameron attended the university and studied Arts/Law (Hons). In 1991 he was appointed Commonwealth Ombudsman and held the position for one year before becoming Chairman of the Australian Securities and Investments Commission. Mr Cameron has been a Fellow of Senate since 2004 and Deputy Chancellor since 2008, meaning he assumes the role of Chancellor when required. Mr Cameron is also an exofficio member of various university committees. In 2011 Mr Cameron was appointed an Officer in the Order of Australia for distinguished service to business and commerce. He is currently a consultant with the law firm Ashurst and Chairman of the ASX Corporate Governance Council. If the rumours are true, the appointment would greatly please the Vice-Chancellor Dr Michael Spence. Mr Cameron was aligned with Dr Spence in his tense negotiations with the University of Sydney Union and has keen business acumen. In a time when the university is facing financial pressures, having a Chancellor on his side would benefit Dr Spence. Have you heard something? Email us at honisoit2012@gmail.com

Jessica Fox won a silver medal in her debut at the London Olympics

Silver linings in London

Sydney University Olympians are shining, reports Kira Spucys-Tahar Following in the footsteps of the University of Sydney’s first Olympian, Nigel Barker, who won the bronze medal for the 100- and 400-yard sprints in 1906, more than thirty students and alumni from the university community are competing at the Olympic and Paralympic Games in London. On day six, first year media and communications student Jess Fox took out the silver medal in the women’s kayak slalom with a score of 106.51, beaten by just 0.61 seconds. Engineering and IT alumnus Kynan Maley came sixth in the men’s canoe slalom. Brooke Pratley, a representative of the Sydney University Women’s Rowing Club, won a silver medal in the women’s

@honi_soit

double scull. Pratley is a physiotherapy graduate and former elite athlete scholarship holder. Another university alumna Kaarle McCulloch won a bronze medal in the women’s team sprint on the opening day of the track cycling. Representatives of the Sydney University Boat Club, Tobias Lister, Nick Purnell, Sam Loch, Francis Hegerty, Matthew Ryan, and Brodie Buckland came sixth in the Men’s Eight final. Buckland and his partner also came fifth in the men’s pair rowing final. Media and Communications graduate Loudy Wiggins competed with her partner Rachel Bugg in the finals of the 10m platform synchronised diving where they placed fourth.

Campus USU BOARD

A happier union: USU and university work together again Adam Chalmers talks to USU President Astha Rajvanshi about repairing the relationship with Spence According to new University of Sydney Union President Astha Rajvanshi, the union has big plans for the year ahead. Throughout 2011 the USU and university were locked in a bitter battle over the Uni’s proposal to take control of all Union-run cafes and bars around campus. The University gave this up earlier in the year, letting the USU refocus on improving student life. “I’m having ongoing discussions with the Vice-Chancellor in addressing what the union does and how we’re approaching our co-curricular system and the Holme redevelopment,” Ms Rajvanshi said. Her term is expected to be much smoother than that of her predecessor Sibella Matthews. “Our relationship [with the uni] has really turned around over the last few months – partly because we’ve responded to their concerns, and partly because how they’ve handled SSAF funding and their interactions with us...it’s a two-way street,”Ms Rajvanshi said. With the looming threat of University takeover gone, Ms Rajvanshi thinks the biggest threat to the union is “securing funding to continue our programs and events”. Part of the university’s takeover strategy involved ending contracts worth $4.5 million in annual financial

support to the uncooperative USU. This year the university helped fill that hole by allocating $3.2m in SSAF money to the USU, but is still deciding how much money to allocate it in 2013. Could the USU survive without university funding? “We’d be selfsufficient for the next few years,” Ms Rajvanshi said. “But we’d have to be financially stringent and cut down on programs and events.” The USU hopes that next year SSAF money will finance universal Access, meaning USU membership for all students. Students will pay one fee to both fund and join their student union.

“Our relationship [with the uni] has really turned around over the last few months”

Currently, students pay a Student Services and Amenities fees to the university and part of this goes towards funding the USU. To actually join the union, students have to pay extra money for an Access card, which can be seen as paying extra for union membership benefits.

Board questions Queerspace autonomy The USU will discuss the future of the space, reports Michael Koziol The USU Board has flagged it will consider changing the autonomous nature of the Queerspace and open it up to non-queer identifying students. Honorary Secretary Zachary Thompson, who also holds the Board’s Queer Portfolio, told Honi Soit the autonomy of the space was “something that will be reviewed in my term”. Mr Thompson plans to hold a forum later in the year which will be open to submissions “from the queer community and anyone who’s interested”. “It’s not my job to push my agenda,” he said. “I don’t want to railroad anybody or make a decision until we’ve got everybody’s input.” The move would likely be opposed by the SRC’s Queer Action Collective, which supports autonomy and holds its weekly meetings in the space. QUAC was not able to comment within the time frame necessary for this story. This is not a new debate: a push away from autonomy began under the tenure of former USU Board Director Ben Tang. Last year a proposal to label the space

“Queer Friendly”, rather than exclusive, was discussed but eventually folded. Nathan Li, former SRC Queer Officer and now USU Queer Convenor, supports an autonomous Queerspace because “there are half a dozen people who... don’t feel comfortable otherwise”. He told Honi the debate about autonomy has been restarted by the Board, not the Queer Convenors. Mr Thompson said the Queerspace is currently under-utilised and would benefit from change “whether in terms of autonomy or a new paint scheme”. He said the location of the room, and a lack of awareness and understanding of what it means for different parts of the queer community, contributed to its poor patronage. Changing this is understood to be a priority for the USU Board. “If we get a feeling there is an aspect of our program that’s not performing or reaching its potential, we’ve got to change that,” Mr Thompson said. “We wouldn’t be doing our job if we didn’t question the autonomy [of the space] with an aim to do that.”

The USU is working closely with the uni for another project: integrating students’ co-curricular activities with their degree. “This is an ongoing project we’ve been working on for the last few years,” Ms Rajvanshi says. “I’m a media student – writing for the [USU publication] Bull should count towards my degree. It’s what American universities do, and we’re doing a lot of research into how it works there.” The USU Holme building is also being redeveloped with a new lounge, food outlet, and revamped student spaces. The project with the most potential, though, would be their Innovation Incubator. Incubators nurture start-up businesses, helping them grow from inception until opening. The USU wants to run its own incubator to help entrepreneurial students launch business ventures. The men behind it, board director Mina Nada and Honi Soit editor James Alexander, hope it will do for student businesses what the USU’s Kickstart grants do for student art projects. As USU CEO Andrew Woodward said: “2012 is about changing the mindset from ‘surviving’ to ‘doing it better’.”

HONI TAB

GOLD MEDALS Australia COULD actually WIN =========== most marsupials betting closed

afl $1.21 Casual racism $1.41 Mateship $1.70 border control $2.53

Twitter: @adam_chal

#graphite: The Splendour Experience Bands that were actually good

Bands that were only good because you were on drugs

Bands that were shit Bands you didn’t see

Words with Friends What do you think of the new USYD smartphone app? STEPHEN ‘ENVIROMENTALIST’ DODD “I refuse to download this app unless they make it carbon neutral.”

ARIADNA ‘GLASS HALF FULL’ KIEHN

JULIAN ‘META’ KUAN

“I’m waiting for them to release an app that gets this app to work properly.”

“It’s really good to see Sydney Uni getting up to date with technology and catching up. Good or not, at least it’s a start!”

facebook.com/honisoitsydney

USYD BILL BOARD APP GUY

“Why did I agree to this? My life is over...”

honi soit

News Review No half-measures in banning smoking, says tobacconist

James O’Doherty visits Sol Levy, tobacconist of choice for the university’s former Vice-Chancellor

Evelyn Platus, manager and fourth generation proprietor at Sol Levy tobacconist on George St, thinks the smoking ban at Sydney University hasn’t gone far enough. At least, she thinks the administration should stick to its guns. “They either approve of it or they don’t approve of it,” she told Honi Soit. “I’m amazed that you’re allowed to smoke anywhere in Sydney University. “One of the biggest proponents against smoking is employed by the university,” she said. That man is Simon Chapman, a Professor of Public Health at the university. Professor Chapman’s work against the brown leaf includes a proposal to limit cigarettes smoked per day through a licensing system, effectively giving smokers a quota of cigarettes available to them per day. Professor Chapman’s license system is a hard-hitting alternative to the oft-maligned plain packaging legislation, which will dress tobacco packaging in a drab olive grey by December of this year. At Sol Levy, a tobacconist that has

remained unchanged since 1962, the concept of plain packaging is not relished, and for obvious reasons. But Ms Platus doesn’t think the benefits will outweigh the costs to tobacconists, news agencies, and convenience stores. “The only people this will affect are the retailers,” Ms Platus said. Plain packaging laws could be interpreted as having the intention to wean an aesthetically-motivated public off the ‘cool factor’ of smoking, but Ms Platus thinks this intention is moot. “It won’t stop people, or young people, from taking up smoking,” she said. “It’s the act of smoking that’s cool, not the packet sticking out of your pocket. “It will just make it harder for customers to find what they want in the store, and they’ll have to be more vigilant to find what they’re after.” Public perception about tobacco is a far cry from when the University of Sydney’s own Gavin Brown would puff away at a cigar in the Vice-Chancellor’s garden in the afternoon sun. For 12 years, Professor Brown sat in the university’s Vice-Chancellor chair, and under his reign, it is arguable no smoking ban would have been considered. Professor Brown, Ms Platus said, was an avid fan of the cigar. She would know: it’s said Sol Levy used to be his retailer of choice.

But it’s been 16 years since Professor Brown was VC, and four since he passed away. The name is almost a faint memory to Ms Platus. Fast forward to 2012 and public derision of smoking is at fever pitch. Unfortunate, says the proprietor of the oldest and most iconic tobacconist in Sydney. “Everything that happens to you after you tick the box [admitting exposure to tobacco smoke] is lumped into the smoking category, and it’s not entirely correct.” “Anything to excess is a health issue, but is it a public health issue?” She hesitates: “No.” “They’ve made people cut down a lot,

so they’ve cut down on excessive smoking, which is not a bad thing, but there’s so much else out there that does so much more damage than a person choosing to puff on a cigarette, a cigar, or smoke a pipe. It’s less danger to the public than many things out there.” She goes on to point out that smokers don’t get more aggressive, more dangerous, or more erratic with every puff. Smokers don’t wander aimlessly onto the road, she said, or start random fights and throw indiscriminate punches. “I think it’s about time they moved off tobacco and moved on to things creating more of an issue than smoking.” Twitter: @jmodoh

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Op-Shop Say no to new Confucianism

In the spiritual laboratory that is modern China, secular pluralism should win out against new Confucianism, writes Professor John Keane a tri-cameral legislature comprising a House of Exemplary Persons guided by mandates from heaven; a House of the Nation, whose representatives are imbued with ‘wisdom from history and culture’; and an appointed or elected House of the People. Each version of Confucianism seems quixotic. Never mind 50,000 Protesters defied riot police in Quidong, China. Photo: AFP the fact that the new ConWith the 18th Congress of the Commufucians underestimate the magnetism of nist Party of China just around the corner, competing values, such as the conspicuous a fundamental political question is hauntconsumption of the middle classes and ing its members and supporters: now that hyper-rich ‘princelings’, or local forms of communism, the once-dominant language feminism. How many modern Chinese of state power, is widely seen as morally women will be willing to embrace the old bankrupt, what will replace it? Are there Confucian values of chastity, silence, hard viable substitutes for the old ruling ideolwork, and compliance? Confucians usuogy of Marxism-Leninism-Maoism? ally don’t say. The champions of political ConfuThey’re also typically silent about the cianism, some of them members of the philosophical and political tangles within Politburo Standing Committee, think they key texts such as the Analects. What have an answer. Tapping into Confucian does it mean to say, in the much-changed notions of altruism, self-improvement, circumstances of the early twenty-first and humane authority, they call for a century, that authorities should be ‘benew moral foundation for political rule neficent without great expenditure’ (Book and everyday life in China. Contradict20)? Or that those who govern by means ing most China watchers, American-style of ‘virtue’ can be ‘compared to the north Western liberal democracy, they say, has polar star, which keeps its place and all no future in China. the stars turn towards it’ (Book 2)? Surely Many new Confucians insist that the these words are of limited or no use in ‘spiritual’ conversion of the Party would handling bitter conflicts, such as that leave untouched its leading role. Others in the Jiangsu city of Quidong, where a propose new governing structures, such as fortnight ago 50,000 citizens defied riot

police and stripped shirtless the local mayor, who quickly changed his tune by announcing the shut-down of a pulp mill pipeline which locals feared would pollute the nearby coastline? The CCP could of course pursue a frontal, top-down propaganda campaign in favour of Confucianism. It might even adopt a 21st century version of the Maoist ‘Smash the Four Olds’ (culture, customs, ideas, habits) campaign, launched at the outset of the Cultural Revolution. In either case, the media fervour and political bossing required would contradict the Confucian spirit of ‘humane authority’. Tibetan Buddhists, Falun Gong, and other qigong activists, Catholics and Protestants, middle class cynics, Uighur Muslims, and others would understandably condemn it as political propaganda. Great public resistance to the CCP would follow. Its fantasy of ‘social harmony’ would be exposed; state Confucianism from below would breed social confusion and resistance to power above. The chief trouble with the whole idea of a Confucian state is not just that it serves as CCP camouflage or privileges one set of ethics at the expense of others, that it’s at odds with a society whose citizens make sense of their lives drawing on resources as varied as ancestor worship (the annual Qingming Festival is an example), ancient metaphysics and state-of-the-art social media. Talk of a Confucian state is wilfully forgetful. It’s a recipe for historical injustice. State Confucianism would practically demand the extinction of painful memo-

ries of suffering for many groups who still feel deeply aggrieved by their history of maltreatment. Ongoing demonstrations by Tibetans and Uighur Muslims in the western province of Xinjiang are living proof of unfinished historical business, as are the Vatican’s diplomatic recognition of Taiwan and the phenomenal resurgence of official and underground Protestantism - the single greatest revival Christianity has ever known. Along with Christianity and Islam, the most popular forms of religion in China, Buddhism and Taoism, are also enjoying an extraordinary rebirth, often in hybrid form. The age when god was red is over. The country now resembles a giant spiritual laboratory. Religious experiments are competing for the attention of Chinese citizens, and that is no bad thing. With the exception of MarxismLeninism-Maoism, no single faith or creed ever enjoyed an exclusive grip on Chinese citizens. The current return to normality can’t be stopped. That’s why a post-communist version of the old Qing dynasty practice of using the state to impose religious orthodoxy is doomed. A clear alternative to State Confucianism is the Taiwan and Hong Kong models of a secular constitutional state and a plural and tolerant religious society. What’s so wrong with that democratic alternative? Why could it not work in practice for millions of Chinese citizens? The new Confucians don’t say. John Keane is a Professor of Politics at the University of Sydney.

Born to work? Not for the Boss

Wayne Swan’s emphasis on employment as a core value sells Springsteen short, writes Shaun Crowe in Canberra Great politicians have long maintained a close relationship with the arts. Think Winston Churchill and Shakespeare, Paul Keating and Mahler, Barry Jones and everything that has ever been written, painted, or composed. And now, with his annual John Button lecture, another politician has spruiked his guiding creative light: Wayne Swan, he is eager to tell us, adores Bruce Springsteen. Swan explained how his understanding of social policy and economics has been informed by Springsteen’s music. The Boss’ depiction of economic change in America, and especially the pain created by the slow death of its industry, drives him to make sure that the same doesn’t happen to Australia; to make sure the fruits of growth are shared and to make sure that we ‘take care of our own’. In essence, Swan’s reading of Springsteen is one of economic dignity. The way we work is shifting, he thinks, and that shift can often hurt the most vulnerable. And, to a certain extent, he is right. As Springsteen himself has said, his career has been largely about mapping the “distance between the American dream and the American reality”. Songs like Born in the USA depict individuals rendered impotent by indifferent economics forces. Springsteen is, and always has been, profoundly concerned with the state of work and the working class. But Swan’s employment-centric reading of this creed is an undeniably narrow reading of Bruce’s art and, more troublingly, of the very ‘dream’ itself.

Indeed, Swan’s rhetorical construction of ‘work’ as the core of the social democratic project gives us an insight into both the ALP’s current mindset and also, when viewed in its broader context, the worrying state of its literary imagination. Springsteen rarely sings about work as an inherent goal: it is almost always facilitative. Jobs are placed in the context of deeper human yearning. So when, in The River, he laments that “lately there ain’t been no work on account of the economy”, the real tragedy is the protagonist’s loss of innocence and his inability to “at night on them banks lie awake, and hold her [his wife] close just hear each breath she takes”. Work is part of the story, but it’s only a part. Again and again, Springsteen places the human and the economic in their proper contexts. He is relevant to progressive politics, not simply because he supports dignified employment, but because he articulates some of the deeper issues that underpin the social-democratic imagination: the human connections facilitated by community (The Ties That Bind); the crippling loss of autonomy created by oppressive social pressures (The Promised Land); and the wild potential of freedom (Born to Run). In short, he attempts to express the experience of human beings (in their angry, joyous and inse-

cure multitudes) when confronted with a range of social and economic structures. This breadth of focus helps to explain his longevity and ability to profoundly connect. The fact that Swan chose to emphasise Springsteen’s relationship with employment, and not his broader artistic project, is symptomatic of the Labor Party’s rhetorical narrowing. Too often the party views work as the absolute end, rather than a path to allowing higher personal and national flourishing. Take Kevin Rudd’s incessant bleating about ‘working families’. According to this rhetorical crutch, Australians are defined, not by their actual actions or values, but by their relationship to the jobs-market. Or Julia Gillard’s attempt to distance the party from the Greens, claiming that the ALP was for ‘setting the alarm early’ and ‘work not welfare’. In both cases, Australia’s rhetorical vision and future has been founded on, rather than facilitated by, the world of paid employment. Are these words effective? Do they inspire the voters at which they’re aimed? It’s questionable. Last year Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, wrote a book about the

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patients she had cared for, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. In her career, she learnt about the regrets people harbour when confronting death. Interestingly, the second most frequent was people wishing they hadn’t ‘worked so hard’. Does the ALP truly believe that constructing their identity around the ‘value of work’, a value on which a large number of Australians regret placing too much emphasis, is going to connect with their constituents’ aspirations? Speak to their souls? I highly doubt it. The party’s drift towards this rhetorical default-setting is lamentable, but also understandable. Focus groups are good at gauging trends, but they don’t offer a great insight into the human heart. Things, especially people, are rarely as simple or mechanised as polling suggests. No, the real project of understanding our thoughts and aspirations is through art and self-reflection; the literary, rather than the scientific, imagination. As literature tells us, human truths are almost always more ambiguous, capricious and difficult to grasp than what someone will divulge in a focus group. The keys to the vault aren’t given up that easily. Wayne Swan titled his speech The Land of Hope and Dreams, after a song on Wrecking Ball. That’s a good start. However, I would ask the Treasurer to expand on the nature of those hopes and dreams. I have a feeling they’re more complicated, and less framed by ‘work’, than he’d likely admit. Twitter: @shauncrowe

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Third Drawer CHALLENGE ACCEPTED: INSTAGRAM UGLY THINGS Fancy a good insty sesh but worry that immaculate brunch photos are the only ticket to online success? Lucy Watson throws down the gauntlet and attempts to make ugly shit pretty Instagram is pretty great. Like Twitter, but with less words and more filters. Filters that make your photos look way better. But can they make anything look better? Challenge accepted. I’ve had Instagram since December, way before Facebook got hold of it. I take about a photo a day, and have 85 followers. Usually, I get about 1-2 likes per photo. Some get more, most get none. This week, I’ve had my eyes peeled, looking for disgusting stuff to put through the Instagram filters. I’ve measured their ‘hotness’ success through likes and comments.

Ibis

Some of my ugly photos received no likes at all. I therefore draw the conclusion that Instagram cannot make these things pretty. The irredeemable ugliness of Fisher, my kitchen sink after the washing up, old gum in the cracks at Eastern Ave, and saliva at Sydenham train station has proved immune to Instagram’s charm. A few of my snaps were more popular. Tacky bank carpet, cigarette butts, furry bugs and birdpoo are all able to be saved by Instagram’s good grace. If you have the app, you will know that foodies love boasting on Instagram, taking photos of their pristinely laid,

Southern Cross/Playboy logo

untouched meals. Following suit, I took a photo of the nacho mess I had for dinner on Thursday. Through the power of the ‘hefe’ filter, the mess was turned into a somewhat popular piece of art, based on the typical success of my Instagram photos. But by far the most popular of all the ugly things I could find was possibly the ugliest of them all: the ibis and its rubbish. A photo of three ibises pecking at a kebab wrapper outside Hermann’s was popular, but better still was the picture I took of an ibis’ butt as it pecked at a bin outside Fisher. Thanks to ‘X-pro II’, the image, (‘piece of artwork’ to quote

Nacho mush

Cigarette butt

a follower), has become a poignant reflection of the student experience. Oh, also popular was this southern cross/ playboy car sticker I found. But somehow, I don’t think the likes are a measure of its aesthetic qualities. There are only so many things that can transform through Instagram-coloured glasses.

Bank carpet

Gum in crack

LESS UGLY

STILL UGLY

The trouble with Sperry’s...

Hipsters and college kids have nabbed boatshoes for the landlubbers. Disgruntled sailor Jack Nairn sets the record straight

“Believe me, my young friend, there is NOTHING - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats,” said Rat to Mole in Kenneth Grahame’s classic, Wind in the Willows. I too share this paradigm with the wise and wonderful water rat, and am quite rightly Sea at last! Albotross and disturbed by the Spinach! sheer number of Australians living a life much like that of the mole. Australia, as we all know, is “girt (encircled or surrounded) by sea” and it doesn’t take a genius to look at a map and make out a substantial length of uninterrupted coastline, practically globally unchallenged, that all Australians should - and usually do - take full advantage of. Aussies are known worldwide as beachgoers; but there lies an underground society, seemingly unknown to the majority of the public: these outstanding men and women are known as sailors. These sailors come in many shapes and sizes, contrary to a commonly misconstrued stereotype of a stocky, well-built man with arms covered in tattoos, a pipe in his mouth, holding a bottle of rum in one hand and a can of spinach in the other. While I won’t completely rule out the existence of this particular kind of sailor, the common sailor is anything but a stereotype. You may be interested to know why on earth I am writing about this. The answer is that I belong to this secret, under-

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ground society of sailors. I come from a sailing family and have been brought up by the water and on boats my entire life (17 years, quite young for a university student) and it has recently come to my attention that a number of inner-city subcultures, namely indies and hipsters have taken a certain fancy to Sperrys, otherwise simply known as boatshoes. Sperry topsiders have been a favourite of sailors since they were first manufactured almost 80 years ago. Sailors like my dad, his dad, his friends, and his friends’ dads all wore Sperry deck shoes sailing for the convenience of shoe that would both grip the deck while leaving it unmarked, thus saving them from a swim (and an angry boat owner!). As a kid, my sailing friends and I considered Sperrys to be the epitome of naff, adhering to the perception that they were only worn by salty-old-seadogs. So it is probably not surprising that I find seeing them worn by inner-city students just downright strange, if not slightly disturbing. Why a non-sailor, or landlubber for use of a more affectionate term, would chose to wear Sperrys is inconceivable. Would the same hipster be caught holding a paperback classic in Zhik gloves? Would he stalk the streets of Glebe wearing powerpads? The answer, for readers uneducated on these products, is no. This boatshoe-wearing fad is selective of what society perceives to be acceptable. These hipsters and indies categorise themselves in a sub-culture supposedly outside of societal paradigms, where in actual fact all they are doing are pissing off an unseen, underappreciated sect of society with very short tempers. So for my inaugural Honi Soit report, I leave you with this: leave Sperrys to the sailors.

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Third Drawer PATHWAY TO A MAJOR IN

OLYMPIC STUDIES

Revamping Reality TV

With Neha Kasbekar

Judge Judy Students who undertake a major in Olympic Studies can expect to learn and develop a variety of skills. Depending on the Units of Study taken, graduates will be qualified in Jingoism, Biased Criticism, Casual Racism, and living vicariously through the exploits of others.

Core Units

Cross Listed Units: Students may also take up to two of the following units as part of their Major:

OLYM 1001: Introduction to Sport Theory OLYM 1002: Introductory Nationalism

Sydney College of the Arts

OLYM 2000: Why Sydney was the best Olympics EVER

ARTS 3024: Facepainting and Body Art

OLYM 2067: Advanced Jingoism

Media and Communications

OLYM 2018: Couch Coaching

MECO 2679: Social Media Commentary

OLYM 2054: Drug Cheats

Ancient History

OLYM 3928: Criticising People Better Than You

ANHS 1079: From Hercules to Heracles

OLYM 3009: Karl Stefanovich OLYM 3002: Sleep Depravation OLYM 3028: Obscure Olympic Sports

Extension Unit: OLYM 4000: Other Sporting Events that may help to fulfill your otherwise empty existence.

Disclaimer: For undergraduates interested in actually competing in the Olympics, please direct your enquiries to the Elite Athletes Scholarship Office. Please note that a freakish level of actual skill is a prerequisite for this course.

SOUNDTRACK TO

Mariana Podestá-Diverio meets the parents I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself – The White Stripes

Deathly quiet, you can hear a pin drop in the lounge room during conversational pauses as you stumble your way through awkward introductions. You don’t know which couch to sit on because the cat is sprawled across one and magazines litter the other.

Where Boys Fear To Tread – The Smashing Pumpkins You should have gotten out of it by making up a lame excuse about a last-minute essay. When you duck out for the bathroom to have a minute to yourself, you catch your flushed face in the mirror and realise what an enormous dweeb you’re acting like.

If I Was Young – The Raveonettes You’ve been sucked in to a long-winded tale about when they were your age and would go to the cinemas on dates and be home by midnight. If you’re lucky enough, the phone will ring and they’ll forget what they were talking about.

Runs In The Family – Amanda Palmer Suddenly you realise where your other half gets that personality quirk from. The parallels in mannerisms between parent and child are creepy to say the least. You continue to sip from your tea slowly, maximising the amount of time your speech is visibly obstructed and you have an excuse to be quiet.

A Warm Place – Nine Inch Nails All you can think about is the fact that you’re doing this because you care about your significant other. You really care about them. So much that all you can think about is the next time you’re alone with them…

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Okay, the name’s probably going to face some trademark issues. That said, I think we can all agree that, of all possible shows named ‘Judge Judy’, the only one that lives up to its name is where a team of experts abuses and questions the life choices of 15 randomly-selected women named Judy. One of the experts is Kyle Sandilands because of course he is.

Queer Eye for Family Guy A touching show about dying LGBTQ folk heroically donating their eye tissue to sight-impaired family men. What the show lacks in shelf-life, it makes up for in being excessively literal. Viewers of either Queer Eye for the Straight Guy or Family Guy might be confused enough to watch or record it: there’s no such thing as too many eyeballs! The host throws out this classic double entendre each week in a plea for higher viewership.

Devine Intervention The greatest of television’s cultural export has been the staged intervention. If you run a right-wing network, consider capitalising on this insight, and give Miranda Devine a half-hour platform to rip apart the social fabric and then stitch it back together like only a woman who values traditional gender roles can! Devine is the stern but well-meaning life coach who critiques the lifestyle of a self-identified progressive each week, and suggests how they can mend their godless ways. The tenor of the show approximates Super Nanny meets Ladette to Lady. For lefty variations of this concept, the show’s mostly just Miranda Devine being slapped over and over by 15 randomly-selected women named Judy.

Killing Me Softly with His Song Australia has an almost bottomless audience for singing competitions, but the problem is the stakes: coming in 4th place is insignificant if you’re going to sign a six-figure deal anyway. As with all things, the situation is improved by senseless death. The only difference in structure from a normal singing competition is that the judges sentence the losers in each round to increasingly creative modes of execution. I’m all for local talent, so as host, try the disembodied voice of the automated CityRail train announcer.

Invert the Social Structure and Allow Adults to Live Off the Fruits of Child Labour Bit of a mouthful, I’ll admit, but- Oh, what’s that? No, no, you’re right; this is just Junior Masterchef. It’s better than I thought.

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Taboo LIFEHACKER

Travel Tips

Ludwig Schmidt would never insist you keep your passport on your person. Travelling is horrendously expensive, even if you replace five-star hotels in Paris with rat-infested Czech hostels. It’s the sort of thing that makes you regret giving up your parents’ love, affection, and moderate-wealth for semi-independence. Gosh I’m poor. Anyway, enough of my family troubles: here is a small list of things you can do to get by in your travels when you’ve spent all your money on hand jobs in Barcelona or bail money in Texas.

Plate scraping: or, ‘Is this what my life has become?’

Plate scraping, much like dumpster diving (an alternative name for plate scraping is table-diving), sounds fairly disgusting, and 60% of the time is as degrading as it sounds. However, once you pass through the barrier of ‘shame’ and start reading freegan-anarchist theory on why you aren’t a useless university student if you do this, it becomes a bit easier to swallow (get it?). Plate scraping basically refers to the practice of hanging around restaurants, waiting for customers to leave bits of their food after their meal, and – well – taking it. Make sure you aren’t allergic to anything on the plate! If you’re charismatic enough, you

may even get away with asking some of the wait-staff if they’ll cover for you, and maybe customers will feel enough pity for you they’ll leave food for you to eat. Charisma or no charisma, police and management won’t like you for it, so tread lightly and you’ll get away with it.

ically the most dangerous) is to sleep in a public building. If you’re in an airport, among other people, around security guards who don’t mind you sleeping, you’ll be fine. If you’re in a train station, you should be more wary. A good way of getting through the night with some

Sleeping around: or, ‘I hope I’m alive tomorrow’ While most hostels aren’t too expensive, sometimes that extra cash is so desperately needed for a bus ride to the airport or some food that you’ll give up a bedbug-infested bunk for general vagrancy. Handy hint: don’t sleep in a gutter or a park, regardless of what country you’re in. There are alternatives, although not all are risk-free. One option is to literally stay up all night if you’re planning on getting a flight or ride the next morning. This can involve taking your backpack/ suitcase to a club and partying all night long. Logistics regarding your possessions can be complicated, but going to a chilled out place with people you don’t necessarily not trust is better. That, or – if you have the cash – putting your luggage in a locker at the station can be useful. This avenue can possibly pleasantly surprise you with a more luxurious offering: staying the night at a stranger’s house. Just make sure you use protection! Also make sure you aren’t kicked out on to the street straight after. If you are, keep an eye on your stuff at 4am in the morning in a foreign country. Oops. Staying at an ex’s place may be interchangeable, but possibly more risky. However, the most common (and iron-

Hostels: Not always the best option

things left over is to lie down close to your stuff, read a book, and drift in and out of sleep. You’ll be tired in the morning, but you’ll be awake enough to make sure corrupt foreigners don’t steal your clothes. Sounds like an ordeal? It is – get overnight transport instead. The worst part of all this? You’ll still need to get out of your hostel/hotel by checkout time, which may be 10am to 12pm, if you’re lucky. What are you going to do for…twelve hours? Museums get boring, quickly. Take up a religion and stay in a mosque or church, some of which may even be 24/7, giving you a place to relax and rest. Occupy sites are good too.

So don’t do it. However, people do it, I guess. Some people just can’t afford food, which is shit. And hey, the country you’re in was probably bailed out by some other country (USA! USA! USA!) recently anyway. Some people use long coats to hide their product. Sounds stupid? Probably, but it works, apparently. Depending on common sense, it may be good to put stuff in your pockets and buy one or two cheap things, to avoid suspicion. People only wear coats during winter, though. Cheese is expensive, but is filling, tasty, and has relative longevity. Good option. Don’t walk around for too long. Play it cool. Real cool. CCTV is more there to find culprits rather than to catch them – that being said, be wary. Next time: bartering on the street, busking, and sex work. P.S. Don’t do anything illegal. Or at least, don’t do anything illegal because of Honi. Also, all of this depends on where you are: sleeping on the streets of Zurich is much different to being a free agent in Saudi Arabia. Check smarttraveller.gov. au on which countries would be safest. Anyway, don’t go travelling without money, you idiot.

Shoplifting: or, DON’T DO THIS Don’t do this. Seriously. Don’t. Remember last time Honi published shit about shoplifting? Didn’t turn out well.

DRUGS

We do the meth so you never, ever have to By George Evans Everyone reading this will have seen one of those ridiculous anti-drug public service announcements at some point in their lives. We all know that “our brain on drugs” is exactly like an egg being fried but more delicious, because if you do drugs you will resort to cannibalism, and also that ecstasy is made in toilets because people mass-producing designer drugs can’t afford bathtubs. They aren’t all terrible misleading crap though. If you haven’t already seen them, go find Darren Aronofsky’s antimeth commercials for a rare example of a public service announcement that actually reflects reality. Or if you’re too lazy to do that then just read on for a trip report from someone who tried meth once and had the best of times followed by the worst of times anyone has ever had. It’s a Tale of One Idiot and realistically probably won’t stop anyone who’s already made up their mind about trying meth but whatever. There are a few different ways to get the drug into your body if that’s what you’re after, but smoking it is the sim-

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plest one. There will be no detailed explanation of how exactly to vaporize and inhale meth here because did you really think there would be? Use Ask Jeeves if you really must know for a project. Exhaling the smoke will be the first sign that shit is about to get unprecedentedly real, because it tastes and feels like absolutely nothing, except maybe breathing out a little bit of your soul, and doesn’t burn or smell. Fun fact: the completely tasteless and odourless nature of methamphetamine vapour means it can be smoked anywhere without arousing suspicion or setting off fire alarms: at home, at work, at the beach, etc. About ten seconds after exhalation the subject’s frontal cortex is replaced with fireworks and cotton candy. There is no subtlety to the experience: nobody is going to sit around on oriental-style cushions and discuss the relative merits of the dosage. It is immediately disabling. A group of morons smoking it in a hotel room might at this point, hypothetically speaking, drape themselves over any nearby furniture and grin stupidly for

an unknown period of time. Dopamine continues to flood the brain for hours after the initial hit, and the initial hit will in no way be the final one. A small amount of crystal methamphetamine will last seemingly forever: half a gram can keep three people up for 8 hours obsessively disassembling and reassembling small machines and packing and unpacking suitcases. During this time their limbs will feel charged with a mild static electricity and the rest of their bodies will bustle around independent from any conscious direction from the parts of their brain that remain functional and above the pleasure-chemical gulag. Unfortunately all good times must come to an end though. So gear up for 36 sleepless hours of paranoid schizophrenia-lite when everyone eventually runs out of crystal meth. Super happy good-time symptoms include sweating, shaking, nausea, visual, and auditory hallucinations, heart arrhythmia, and crippling existential terror. If you don’t kill yourself or get arrested, congratula-

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tions, you did something catastrophically stupid and lived to be eternally ashamed of the tale. In conclusion folks, I am against recreational crystal methamphetamine use, and I’m not afraid to say it.

Quick Reference Guide: things that one can and cannot do while high as shit on meth Can: • Clean every inch of a hotel room and rearrange the little shampoo bottles in ascending order by size • Reduce a Zippo lighter to a pile of tiny parts with only one’s fingers • Talk about how great meth is Cannot: • Explain why the shampoo needed to be in that order • Hear footsteps outside the hotel room door without having a panic attack • Talk about anything other than how great meth is

Profile

How does a staunch conservative marry his twin lives as an irreverent journalist and dispassionate academic? Michael Koziol talks to Tom Switzer, research associate at the United States Studies Centre and editor of the Spectator Australia.

don’t know which hat Tom Switzer will be wearing as I walk to meet him at the Nag’s Head pub, in Glebe, for our lunch. For my own amusement I hope it’s his freewheeling, colourful editor’s cap, though I fear that when the notepad comes out and the recorder turns on, the more careful, considered academic’s hat might be chosen. By day Switzer is a tutor, researcher, and lecturer in American history and politics at the University of Sydney, in the Department of History and the United States Studies Centre. But by night he edits one of the country’s most fiercely conservative publications, the Spectator Australia, an offshoot of its British parent. Happily, it seems I’ve got Mr Hyde on this occasion. “I’m Dr Jekyll when I’m at university, but then when I’m Spectator editor I’m a raving right-wing lunatic,” he says with a wry smile and a hearty laugh. Switzer’s politics are deeply conservative, but his positions are thoughtful, not reactionary. He opposes gay marriage because he believes it is the government’s duty to encourage children to be brought up with a mother and a father. He wants stronger borders because it is the only way the Australian electorate will support high-level immigration. For such an overtly political guy, it is strange to think Switzer was absent from the political scene on this campus in the early 1990s. At high school and in his first year of university he was a track-and-field star, having trained with Melinda Gainsford-Taylor and excelling in middle-distance runs. “It was conceivable I might have represented Australia in some sort of international event, but I don’t think I was capable of going to the Olympics,” he says. But a bad back injury and the tutelage of Neville Mainey combined to change his primary interest from athletics to American history. He “became a bit of a nerd overnight” and would devour back issues of the Washington Post and National Review at Fisher library. The big political issues on campus were the republic, Gulf War I, and the ‘recession we had to have’, encased in “a lot of scepticism about economic rationalism”. But Switzer’s interests were squarely across the Pacific: American diplomatic history foremost among them. Upon graduating, he worked in Washington D.C. for three years at the American Enterprise Institute, before returning to Australia in 1998 to start a family.

A cover of Switzer’s magazine, the Spectator Australia, December 2011

Switzer seems assured that our politics are worlds apart, but I’m less convinced. For one, it seems to me that for a man who once said on the ABC’s Q&A that “manmade climate change… is a bit like the Da Vinci Code”, his views have – to use Barack Obama’s terminology – evolved. “I’m in no position to really question climate change orthodoxy. I do believe that carbon emissions play a role in warming the planet,” Switzer says. He admits to being “cheeky” in the past on this question. “But there is great scope for debate among scientists about the extent to which carbon emissions are responsible,” he says. “This is not a very popular thing to say on campus, but Al Gore’s moment has come and gone.” By that he means that the political capital in acting on climate change, which Kevin Rudd rode to power in 2007, no longer exists. “It’s no longer a political issue. It doesn’t help parties to support a price on carbon.” Switzer implores those on his side of the fence to question the economics of carbon pricing, not the science. He says de-carbonising the Australian economy sans a global consensus is “just not worth it”. “Even the government recognises that now, because they’ve completely bastardised their own policy”. No longer is

the carbon tax message one of fighting climate change, it is purely one of assuring voters they will be compensated. “What’s to stop Joe Six-Pack from the western suburbs of Sydney going and spending their compensation on their higher electricity bills?” Switzer asks. He turns, as he so often does, to the words of his favourite writers, citing Mark Latham’s argument that to seriously de-carbonise the economy would mean taxing consumers and industry, and refusing to give it back in handouts. Switzer has previously told me he believes Latham to be the best columnist in the country, for both his incision and his precise, witty writing. Latham has increasingly taken to journalism since leaving politics: he writes for the Spectator and the Australian Financial Review, where Switzer was the opinion page editor in the late 1990s. His praise for Latham is hard-earned: other than his late friend and mentor Paddy McGuiness, Switzer rates very few Australian journalists. “I could name 10 American and 10 British journalists I really admire,” he says. “I could not put any Australian journalists in their camp.” The best writers in the world are British, he says, for their flair, wit, and use of language.

A savage assessment is reserved for Malcolm Turnbull, who he calls “the George W. Bush of Australian politics”

He is decidedly pessimistic about the future of print media, however. “When Murdoch dies, that’ll be the end of print journalism in Australia and in England. America is already dying.” As a newspaper man, this projected death saddens Switzer immensely, but he too is guilty of ditching the print medium in favour of free content online. “I hate to acknowledge this, but I very rarely buy hard copies now,” he says. “When you’ve got children at home and deadlines to meet, it’s just great getting it all on your phone.”

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If that’s the attitude of the man who edited the Australian’s opinion pages for seven years, newspapers have a lot to worry about. Switzer left the Australian in 2008 to work for then federal opposition leader Brendan Nelson, who was replaced by Malcolm Turnbull in September of that year and quit politics the year after. Switzer then joined the Liberal Party and nominated for Nelson’s seat of Bradfield, but lost pre-selection to the more moderate candidate Paul Fletcher. “I was disappointed, but I didn’t have to stay away from sharp instruments for too long,” Switzer tells me. He was recently approached by pre-selectors for Craig Thomson’s seat of Dobell, on the NSW Central Coast, a prospect he “took seriously, but ultimately it didn’t last long”. Switzer does countenance a future political career but “not in the short or medium term”. “I’m at a stage where I’m very happy with my life and family and university life. I don’t want to bust my butt on the backbench for the next 10 years.” He is said to have an ongoing feud with rising moderate star Alex Hawke, but described him only as “a smart guy”. A more savage assessment is reserved for Turnbull, who he calls “the George W. Bush of Australian politics”. “Remember that famous quote that Bush used? ‘I don’t do nuance’. [Turnbull] never did nuance. Part of being a political leader is that you’ve got to be prepared to compromise.” Switzer says the former leader “sold out his party” by so fervently supporting the Rudd government’s emissions trading scheme. “He does a very impressive job of appealing to a demographic that neither Abbott nor John Howard has ever been capable of appealing to – that is, the inner city metropolitan crowd. [But] he was a complete failure with those groups in western Sydney and a lot of those sunbelt seats in Queensland. He was a debacle. When he was opposition leader, the polls were of Gillard-esque proportions. “There was precious little evidence of seriousness and competence.” Ouch. Hello Mr Hyde.

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the hat ney, l...I ays new nds ard nan

24 hour

New Weird Party People

Sydney’s nightlife is experiencing a renaissance of activity fuelled by a surge o all night long. Angus Farrell takes us on a tour of just a few o

he Sydney party scene has, for some time, attracted something of a cultural cringe. Some see it as the plaything of a few successful breakaway artists, appearing before a disinterested audience, weekend in, weekend out, and never really coming together as a unified music scene. To a certain extent this indifference is justified. Australia still regulates going out (read: ‘partying’) via a seemingly endless list of legal restrictions: liquor licensing, capacity limits, noise restrictions, drink restrictions - the list goes on. We can all think of a typical Sydney night out – I won’t indulge in describing my own version of it here for you - but we all have our qualms about th e venue, the people or the music. Despite the nearly constant rancour for our nightlife, it seems people are still going out for and listening to the music: in clubs and bars, warehouse parties, on their radios, on the computer, on iPhones and whatever other technological i-thing they have. Sydney-siders are, also, making more music than ever before - despite what we hear about the failing music industry and why we should all become investment bankers and sell oil futures. There are musicians, labels, producers, DJs, promoters, distributors, and everything and anything in-between - in significant numbers. It’s out there, and it’s happening in Sydney.

RADIO REVOLUTION There was a time (a dark time) when it was difficult, almost impossible, to find music on the radio that wasn’t on hourly rotation, spliced in-between drive spots and brain-dead presenters waxing lyrical on the hot topic of the day. A station that broadcasts 24/7, with minimal adverts, community-driven programming, run almost entirely by volunteers – was practically unheard of. That is, until FBi Radio came along. After launching almost nine years ago (from an early incarnation of the Sydney University Radio Group), FBi radio has grown into not only a favourite on everyone’s dial, but an essential part of Sydney’s arts and music culture. Their regular set of arts programmes is paired

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with their infallible selection of the finest new music – 50 per cent of that music is required to be Australian, and 50 per cent of that, from Sydney itself. This little community radio station is full of surprises, too. When they opened their permanent live venue in Kings Cross early last year, a lot of people had their doubts. But to this day, FBI Social remains a popular haunt, in contrast with the multitude of other fine (and notso-fine) establishments the Cross has to offer. Aside from FBi’s obvious pedigree in radio, they continue to expand their support for artistic culture in Sydney, running the annual Sydney Music Arts and Culture awards and supporting the finest local talent across a broad array of categories. Everyone knows someone who has done some volunteering at the station and it’s a safe bet that if an artist is new and interesting, underground and talented, or even just mates with someone that works at the station, one

“I’m consistently amazed by the quality of talent that keeps popping up around Sydney, and Australia in general,” he says. “Every demo I get sent, I endeavour to listen to, because it’s important to give people that first chance, but also because I really believe that there is always someone out there, doing new and exciting things with sounds that I might not have heard before.” The proliferation of community radio mixed with easily downloadable music has helped spawn a growing tide of local music supporters. I programme a weekly show on Eastside FM, called Beat Odyssey, with a goal to explore electronic music from its very beginning to the present day. However, in recent months I have found myself programming more music from Sydney than ever

a DJ Saved My Life by Bill Brewster and Frank Broughton, an appropriate title for a number of nights I have experienced in the throws of a ‘HAHA Industries’ party. Now infamous for all-night raves, a parade of international guests and general good vibes, HAHA have been changing the way Sydney dancers think since those dark times when drum machines were looked upon with disdain by sound engineers and bands alike. Head honchos Dean Dixon and Dave Fernandes have a love affair with vinyl, and consistently bring that ‘warm’ analogue sound, thanks to the (now infamous) Rane Rotary mixer they lug from gig to gig. Combine their penchant for selecting some of the best underground DJ talent, their choice of warehouse space, and, of course, the BYO booze, and you have a recipe for their ‘Under the Radar’ series. The before. In addition to our regular line-up guys also help bring some of the world’s Above left: New Weird Australia free music complication. Grab it at Honisoit.com Right: HAHA Indsutry party best-known and loved DJs to with their infamous rane rotary mixer Australia - Optimo, Deetron, Juan Atkins, Robert Hood, of guest DJs on the show, our unwritten Recloose – the list goes on. The idea of the presenters will probably get them rule is that we support the scene that is simple, says Fernandes: “we started in for an interview or an exclusive live supports us, and not just because it is throwing parties literally on our staircase set. It’s Sydney radio; Sydney culture at moral, but because good music is good in Redfern, playing whatever we were its finest. for the soul. into at that time… today it’s pretty much You’ll find a number of Sydney It’s not just the radio that is changing the same, because we’re still throwing University students all over FBi – the way Sydneysiders approach their parties for us, and our friends.” presenting, producing shows and music. The people behind much of the In a similar vein to HAHA is Mad manning the front of house like a tireless army of hipsters with hopes of one day change this city has experienced in recent Racket, who since 1998 have been throwing some of the most infamous nabbing a highly coveted program slot years have been the promoters (or event parties Sydney has ever seen. Their haunt – these don’t come up very often either. organisers, if you will) that have been is the equally infamous Marrickville Stuart Buchanan of New Weird Australia giving young musicians and DJs gigs, Bowling Club: the gaudy stamped-copper fame left the station last week to and fronting the exorbitant fees to bring ceiling possesses an almost hallucinatory facilitate the broader aims of NWA from choice international acts to our shores. quality, assuring partygoers they are in his new home in the Blue Mountains. for a good time. I asked Carly Roberts, I’m sure I speak for a lot of young musos of Picnic, what she thought: in this city when I say that Stu’s show “For me Sydney wouldn’t come close introduced us to the world of eclectic A famous canon in music literature to resembling itself now if it wasn’t for electronic music. is a volume by the name of Last Night

WAREHOUSE PARTIES

@honi_soit

“

Most of the time I’m waking up for a 4am (or later) DJ set to go and play new music to the real party animals...sometimes I hear my alarm go off and wish I could have a Sunday morning sleepin like every sane person does. However, once I’m actually in the club playing music, I’m switched on and I remember why I got up... - Nic Scali

”

ge of local artists, music lovers and eccentric party organisers; where the DJs play ew of the people behind the good music and great times in Sydney. Honi’s cover and main feature photographs are taken by Ben Lau, Sydney student capturing Sydney’s nightlife. www.thekuhlektiv.com music that knew how to make a unique space sound and feel like nowhere else ever. Of course now Picnic, Co-op, Ha Ha Industries, Slow Blow, Future Classic, Spice Cellar, S.A.S.H and some others try our hardest to do something that good, which makes Sydney a pretty awesome place to dance and play music! There is a lot to be said for continuously raising the bar. People will put up with a lot of crap until they’ve been shown another way.” The line-up of international artists is hugely impressive but the parties were originally all about the locals, and thank god they continue to be. I heard from a seasoned barman that the early drawcard was the wine they served on-tap. However, unfortunately this wonderful beverage is no longer available. (My guess? It was made illegal due to it being too good.) The great crowds now come for the relentlessly good line-ups. Picnic is another group who have got their own warehouse party thing going, in the form of their ‘One Night Stand’ parties. Motorik! is another brand that is a seasoned player on Sydney’s various filthy warehouse floors but these guys focus more on techno (should I say tekno, even?) and techno in its purest form. Think 808 kick drums all night long, black plastic garbage bags lining the walls, and no lights. These nights both run in a similar way: fantastic DJs, relaxed atmosphere, BYO alcohol, going home at 11am the next day, and as you can imagine, the occasional unwelcome visit from the cops. It seems that as soon as you decide to have a party somewhere other than a stupidly overpriced nightclub full of dickheads in white linen requesting Avicii’s ‘Levels’ over and over, the cops get alerted. Most of the time there is no skin off anyone’s nose – put the drugs away and turn down the sound system until they drive around the corner – but sometimes it means they get shut down, which basically just sucks arse. Astral People are a crew that have caught a lot of attention recently, promoting some of the best up and coming talent, both from home and abroad, in totally legal, new venues. Their roster includes an enviable line-up of Sydney’s premier new talents: Dro Carey, Rainbow Chan, Collarbones, and Jonti. Their parties at Goodgod almost always sell out, and following an absolute blazer of a set from Blawan

and Pariah, they show no sign of slowing down. Their success must be, in part at least, attributed to the legal venues that are giving them the time of day to get down and do their thing. Goodgod Small Club has been at the forefront of underground music in this city since its conversion from a Spanish dance club in 2009.

WHY ALL THE DJS? Perhaps a better question is why has electronic music, like house, techno or dubstep taken such a hold of Sydney in its nightlife renaissance? A band, traditionally speaking, will play a selection of known songs which has arguably made you want to go a see them. The DJ, however can have a completely different attitude. Nic Scali, a Sydney University student and rising

63 bands that have graced our regular Hermann’s night, comprising of perhaps over 200 musicians, remains as a core part of the organisation. Compare this with the far fewer student DJs that have we have hosted but are now central to the running of the society. “ Joss continues, “What I think some styles of electronic music provides, partially due to its underground nature, is a sense of community and honesty that, I think, a lot of musically minded people are looking for now. It somehow seems to cut the bullshit and focus on the music. Because each electronic artist is his own, in a world where the financial barriers to entry are vastly lower with the years gone by, its almost created a genre of entrepreneurs. True entrepreneurs focus on getting things done and depend on one another, and in this context that kind of

Above left: Nic Scali on the decks Right: Beat The System Thursday DJs at Hermann’s Bar

local techno DJ puts it as such; “The DJ set is not so much about the familiar, individual song but about the unfamiliar, the discovery and journey. The DJ also has to adapt to fit their style with a particular environment. If anything, for me it is closer to a jazz band improvising than any other traditional live band gigs.” The new and the edgy experiences is definitely something that will appeal to anyone looking for a non-average night out. Joss Engebretsen, founder of the contemporary music society on campus, Beat The System, however believes the reasons may be deeper. As someone who used to “hate electronic music” he explains, “I started Beat the System for bands to be represented on campus. When I look back at the numbers, not one of the members of the now over

entrepreneurship has provided a great community and some really awesome parties.” Without a doubt some of Sydney’s best parties have been organised by some of our best DJs. However, more and more the lines between contemporary music genres are blurring, Nic comments “So many bands these day are using electronic elements, and of course there’s no reason to only be in to one (DJs) or the other (bands) - the two are melding and have been for quite some time.”

SYDNEY STUDENTS EVERYWHERE Sydney university has it’s own fair share of supremely talented DJs and producers pushing the boundaries. You

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see that dude, walking into your Monday morning Government lectures with the expensive looking headphones and a black t-shirt: he’s probably quite talented behind the decks. Nic, who studies Medicine at Sydney, routinely gets up to play after-hours (read; early morning) Berlin style DJ sets, “most of the time I’m waking up for a 4am (or later) DJ set to go and play new music to the real party animals… sometimes I hear my alarm go off and really wish I could have a Sunday morning sleep-in like every sane person does. However, once I’m actually in the club playing music, I’m turned on and I remember why I got up. It all seems to make sense.” Closer on campus the contemporary music society, Beat The System features their own list of talented Sydney DJs and bands who play for free at their wellknown music night on Thursdays during semester at Hermann’s Bar. BTS was founded only last year, yet in that year it has helped expose some formidable talent that would have otherwise have subsisted under the radar. Bands like Rufus and Movement all got a lot of early exposure at BTS events. Indeed Sydney uni students are all over the scene. You may remember the label The Finer Things founded by students from USYD which Honi featured last semester. This local label supports some great Sydney talent holding monthly parties at a local inner city pub with their always enjoyable resident DJs spinning all that is new in the world of Dubstep, House and Electronica. Their roster includes Nakagin, Rainbow Chan, True North, and, of course, TMGN (better known to many of us as Timothy Newman) - many of whom have been guests on, also Sydney Uni student run radio program, Beat Odyssey. Sydney has been experiencing a renaissance in what is on offer at night, fuelled by a plethora of talented local musicians and DJs. Regardless of genre or sentiment, Nic sums up Sydney’s younger party-goers attitude nicely, “I feel that now more than ever before people are appreciating music for what it is rather than how it’s made. “ Sydney wants good music and great times – give that to us that or we will make it happen ourselves.

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Culture Vulture PREVIEW: DANCE

Nøcturne

Virat Nehru was enthralled. And seduced Ambitiously conceived and visually seductive, Nøcturne is an affair to remember. A collaboration between the Movement And Dance Society (MADSOC) and the Sydney University Gymnastics Club, Nøcturne tells the story of two lovers, Maia and Caleb, astutely performed by Simon Crawley and Anthea Paton. Things do not bode well for our lovers, as the Lady in Red (played with plenty of sass by Ashton Sly) attempts to seduce Caleb through a spell that only works during the night. The narrative arc progresses through a variety of dance styles and gymnastic performances. There is lyrical hip hop and acrobatics, with classical waltz contrasted by the saucy frisson of zouk (a dance style which has influences of lambada). Modern contemporary dance

is interspersed with tap and an athletic hand-balancing act. This truly is a potpourri of unexpectedly pleasant surprises – the fusion of these different dance and gymnastic styles is a mesmerisingly novel concept. Khairil A Musa is the artistic director who brought this original production to life. He wrote, directed, selected most of the music, and is the head choreographer. Did I mention that he is also a medical student? He is complemented by producer Long Nguyen who has had a long affiliation with MADSOC. Choregraphic credits also go to Satoko Doi, Simon Crawley, Amie Liebowitz, Mark Agbuya, Emma Hickey, and Anmol Mishra. It’s safe to say that they burnt my overachieving ego on the charcoal grill of awe inspiring talent.

One of my personal highlights was the seductive dance sequence, infused with a fiery sauciness by Ashton Sly, making the Lady in Red deviously entertaining. Another highlight was the enthralling performance of the acrobatic trio. The four lead dancers - Simon Crawley, Anthea Paton, Ashton Sly, and the night queen Satoko Doi are classically trained. The lines and extensions were perfect, the pirouettes dazzling, and firm, the leaps high and committed, and the lifts effortless. If this isn’t enough, all the proceeds from the ticket sales will go to a not-for-profit organisation called Girls From Oz, which aims to develop performing arts amongst young people, particularly in Indigenous communities.

Photos: Midflip Nøcturne Everest Theatre, Seymour Centre 7:30pm Friday 17 and Saturday 18 August

REVIEWS: BOOKS

Northern Heartbeats

- ODYS SEY-

Forcing the beat is contrived, writes John Gooding If you’ve ever yelled at a line of riot police or had sex in the Fisher stacks, you probably owe the beat generation a royalty. In the tumultuous years after World War II, these writers, poets and artists rejected establishment culture en masse and set off to discover what else there could be. Joel Mak’s Northern Heartbeats revolves around Joel, a university student mildly obsessed with the beat generation. This character, tellingly sharing the given name of the author, sets off to North America on exchange in order to have a contemporary adventure to call his own. Beat has aged oddly, however, and the author encounters some difficulty in reintroducing it to the modern audience. The weirdest choice he has made is the decision to write Joel’s first-person observation in a homogenised American accent, an exaggerated version of Dean Moriarty from Kerouac’s On the Road, or Holden Caulfield from Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye. Joel is not American, and thus the accent is either wishful thinking or awkward homage. Writing the entire

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novel like this would have taken some discipline, and it is somewhat unfortunate that the result feels so forced and disingenuous. Adding to this creeping insincerity is Joel’s explicitness in stating his reasons for seeking this adventure. His literary influences are neatly listed within the first few pages, almost as if the character were a tribute band faithfully recreating a poorly dated genre. Joel has essentially read about beat adventures and thus decided to go on his own beat adventure in order to write about going on a beat adventure. The spontaneity and edginess that characterises the beat generation work is somewhat present here, but is thoroughly crippled by this weirdly self-referential process. Nonetheless, if one can put up with these shortfalls and the chronic lack of commas, the book is worth a look. Mak has the ability to construct particularly exquisite metaphors and offers an interesting take on those still clinging to the beat in contemporary society. His character desperately tries to perceive the cities and people he en-

counters as somehow fitting into his beat interpretation of the world; there is rarely a muted emotion, or an example of mediocrity. Every object he comes across is the biggest or smallest or cutest or tallest “that I’da ever seen”, and he continually asserts that his journeys and the people he ambles into along the way were somehow uniquely mad. But Joel’s ability to crowbar the world into the box he requires is not perfect, and the facade falters every now and then. With what I hope is at least some irony, he reflects at one point on his own repeated insisting that these really were mad times, as though the reader should have some reason not to believe him. Rather than letting the novel down, however, these anomalies are enormously compelling whenever they appear. These overly rare depictions of Joel doubting the promise of the beat serve as the realest connections the author ever supplies, a way around the plentiful hype and bravado. Joel has set out to find the mad beat world of yore, and it would be too easy if he simply got what he wanted.

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H E R M E S 2 012 Those who have words will travel Submit literary and artistic works to hermes@usu.usyd.edu.au by August 12 2012. www.usuonline.com/Publications/Hermes

Culture Vulture

Splendour in the Grass Honi Soit editors, Jack Gow, Paul Ellis, and Bebe D’Souza make the pilgrimage to hipster Mecca

DAY 1 In a haze of mud, sweat, and ecstasyinduced tears of euphoria, Splendour in the Grass was upon us for another year. With big-name acts like Bloc Party, Jack White, and a freshly resurrected At The Drive-In, the Splendour organisers delivered another standout addition to the Australian festival circuit. Tempering international megastars with homegrown talent, the festival was organised with the kind of aplomb that saw tickets sell out in a record 43 minutes. Tickets in hand, cars packed, and alcohol stashed away from prying eyes, the annual expedition began. 2012 saw Splendour return to its spiritual home, Belongil Fields, on the outskirts of Byron Bay. In an unheard of moment of meteorological providence this year’s festival saw more sunshine than not. Admittedly, when it did rain, it hailed, turning the grounds into waterlogged mire only the bravest (read: drunkest) non-gumboot wearer would dare to traverse. Hilarious muddy hipsters aside, the move from Woodford back to Belongil is regrettable. While there’s no denying the natural beauty of Byron Bay, or the four hours it takes off the road-trip, the reality is that this year’s festival site pales in comparison to last’s. ‘On-site’ camping was a half-hour stumble from the stages with over-crowded buses valiantly attempting to redress the inconvenience. A militant local council and adverse weather conditions means that all performances are staged in large, gloomy tents, a far cry from the bucolic grandeur of the Woodford amphitheatre. The cramped confines of the site meant that the two largest stages, the Supertop and the Mix Up, were right next to each other resulting in a sonic clusterfuck that even grunge gods The Smashing Pumpkins could not overcome. Despite this year’s shortcomings,

Splendour still delivered big time. Friday, Day One (of worthy music at least), saw Melbourne-based Chet Faker wowing festivalgoers with his much-hyped cover of Blackstreet’s ‘No Diggity’. While Sydney up-and-comer Flume sent the audience soaring with his laidback indie disco beats. Big Scary, neither big nor scary, got heads nodding and toes tapping with their piano-led pop ballads. Newly reformed rockers At The Drive-In delivered a blistering set that more than justified Splendour being their only gig in Australia. True to form, Jack White cemented his status as the pre-eminent rock star of our generation. White Stripes hits like ‘Hotel Yorba’ saw thousands singing along at full roar, while his ‘Seven Nation Army’ finale left the crowd screaming for minutes after he left the stage.

Azaelia Banks came here to ‘Fuck Up The Fun’

DAY 2 Music festivals require a certain level of party resilience. This is even truer of faraway, three-day camping epics such as this - they call it a ‘Splendour bender’ for a reason. The delicate balance of alcohol and illicit substances must be navigated with caution: insufficient indulgence could see your night end in a weary slump, while overindulgence can have catastrophic repercussions. With this in mind, I approached Day Two with care. I settled in early, around 2p.m. and proceeded to stake out a prime position for the evening’s performances. Since I already had the best seat in the house, I figured I’d get stuck into the spirits. Much to my surprise, all the band’s I’d been itching to see were a no-show! No Last Dinosaurs, no Band of Skulls, no Seekae, no Mudhoney, no Lana Del Rey, no Miike Snow and most crushingly of all, no Bloc Party! Turns out the best place to see all the headliners wasn’t the Jack Gow tent at the North Beach Camping Grounds. I was spewing. Literally.

10 out of 10

San Cisco’s Jordi Davieson aka Dreamboat

Unlike Jack ‘the loneliest alcoholic’ Gow, Bebe and Paul stayed sober long enough to get into Day 2 of the festival. Band of Skulls delivered an impressive set of unadulterated Rock n’ Roll, before Lana Del Rey hit the stage. After she bombed her first two songs we decided we were wasting our time and moved on. It turned out to be a wise decision, with Mike Snow backing up his excellent 2010 Splendour set with one of the standout performances of the festival. ‘Animal’ gratified the hundreds that had brought stupidly overpriced animal costumes, as well as everyone with an ear for a well-delivered indie anthem. Then Bloc Party happened. Only act to legitimately overcome the shitty acoustics of Splendour 2012. 10/10.

in fine form until an electric malfunction derailed their set for more than 10 minutes. It seemed to be a night of technical difficulties, at least if you believe Azaelia Banks. Perhaps the most-hyped of all the acts at this year’s festival, Ms Banks only performed a brief, 27 minute set, that will be remembered as a let-down for years to come. It seems we’ll never know if it was the fault of the festival equipment or simply a calculated move to compensate for an inconsistent body of work. That said, for those 27 minutes, Azaelia’s showed impressive stage-presence and musical expertise well beyond her relative inexperience. As ‘212’ came on and the crowd surged forward demonically screaming “Imma ruin you cunt” at the top of their lungs, Splendour reached its zenith for both Azealia and myself. For all the burgundy felt hats, stupid animal onesies and general pretence, once again, Splendour did not disappoint. With the summer festival season looming before us like a hot, sweaty, drug-addled music monster, Splendour in the Grass comes as a welcome reminder of how festivals should be done.

DAY 3

Big Scary was neither big nor scary

She just lost her burgundy felt hat... #devastated

Day Three saw a definite upturn in my musical attendance. Electric Guest’s refreshing brand of indie pop was a pleasant discovery. Perth hipsters San Cisco were lacklustre to say the least, with the crowd’s tepid reaction only lifting for their hit single ‘Awkward’. Canadian New Wave rockers Metric were

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McDreamboat

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Tech & Online APP REVIEW

Sydney Uni app stacks up against UNSW, Cambridge and Havard Sydney University’s new mobile application has important features but fails in one key area, Honi Soit reports. New and returning students this semester may have noticed the launch of the university’s new “Sydney Uni app”, finally catching up with other universities both in Australia and worldwide (and really, with those iconic posters, how could you not have noticed?) The free app — available on iPhone and Android — aims to provide easy access to information about the university relevant to students, staff, and visitors. This information includes staff contact details, university news, media galleries, links to the university’s social media pages, and details about upcoming events (such as conferences, lectures, and exhibitions) with the ability to add events to your phone’s calendar. Some features, however, are simply links to web content — for example, the Library feature is a link to library’s pre-existing mobile site. Perhaps one of the most useful features for students are the maps, which allows one to search for any building on campus and see its location, along with an image of the building. While useful, the map can’t help you locate which building a particular room is in, nor does it provide routing between your location and your destination - despite including

a GPS location feature. These features are matched by apps provided by other universities in Australia such as UNSW and the University of Melbourne. Internationally, apps from universities including Harvard and Cam-

Campus funnyman, Rob Johnson, did himself a sartorial disservice.

bridge provide similar functionality. It is worth noting here that the University of Sydney is part of a very small minority (which includes UNSW) that has both an iPhone and Android app, with most offering only iPhone versions. The similar-

ity of functions between these apps is not accidental — many have been developed by Blackboard Mobile, which offers a suite of standard features that universities can use in their branded apps. Some new features of this platform, which may be integrated into the Sydney Uni app in future iterations, showpromise. One is an ‘Augmented Reality’ view, which allows you to point your smartphone’s camera at a building and receive relevant information overlayed on top of the image in realtime (this feature is included in the UNSW app). One component of the Sydney Uni app that is absent from many others is the ability to view information about every unit of study offered, including course content and lecturer contact details. When this works, it’s a great way to quickly find out your course coordinator or look up some information about your courses for next semester. Unfortunately, the execution is somewhat awkward. Looking up one of my courses by typing in “COMP5114” resulted in hundreds of results from “ACCP1061 — Accompaniment 1” to “WORK4101 — Industrial Relations and HRM Honours A”, as the app

had found every subject with the text “COMP” anywhere in the description. Success between different subjects will also vary given that the relevance and usefulness of information here relies on the faculties providing such information. The ability to view unit of study information, contact details, campus maps, and more are all useful features to have in your pocket, and stacks up well when compared to most other universities mobile apps. What the app lacks, however, is what all apps of this kind appear to lack — a way to access personally relevant information, rather than just generic information. For example, there is no way for a student to log in to the app and view their own timetable, with easy links from here to room locations and travel times. The inclusion of features like this is in today’s context makes sense, and would greatly improve the usefulness of the app. The Sydney Uni app is available on the App Store and Google Play. More information and a feedback form can be found at: http://sydney.edu.au/mobile

GAMER NEWS

Starcraft World Championship: eSports come to Australia

As the popularity of eSports grows, Australia will play host to the world’s leading professional gaming tournament, reports Andrew Passarello

eSports is a growing world wide phenemon consisting of professional gaming competitions within the worlds most popular online games.

“MC has realised he’s lost, and Seed is just overwhelmed with emotion... he’s going to be this season’s Code S champion. He has destroyed the greatest players on earth to get here and win this. There is not a person happier on this earth right now.” Korean player Ahn Sahng Won, better known by his alias “Seed”, is lifted with some difficulty onto the shoulders of his teammates as they celebrate his shock victory over Jang “MC” Min Chul, who remains in his seat with his head in his hands. These men are competitors in the GSL Code S, the most prestigious StarCraft 2 tournament in the world. The game has become a global phenomenon, with the Global StarCraft League (GSL) recording over 50 million views during

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2012 alone, not including the legion of fans in South Korea, where the game is most popular. StarCraft 2, developed by Blizzard Entertainment and released in 2010, is a computer strategy game revolving around three distinct factions who are constantly at war. There’s the Terran, redneck space-cowboys from Earth whose strength lies in the sheer power and versatility of their military; the Protoss, a dogmatic ancient alien civilization with the most advanced technology; and the Zerg, a parasitic “swarm” of many species that overwhelms the enemy with insurmountable numbers. Professional StarCraft gaming sees players duke it out as one of these factions in a one versus one, best of three series.

These matches play out like fast paced chess, except with aliens, spaceships, and explosions. Admittedly the concept of ‘fast paced chess’ isn’t overwhelmingly appealing; it could also easily be described as a boxing match or a tennis rally. Except with aliens, spaceships, and explosions. Players need to not only have the most military units, but the best unit control, otherwise known as macro and micro. So there’s something in it for enthusiastic economists too. On the 11th and 12th of August, Australia will be playing host to the Oceania leg of Blizzard’s World Championship Series, organised by the Australian Cyber League. While watching competitive StarCraft 2 has proven popular in Australia and New Zealand, there has been a dearth of high level tournaments taking place here. The WCS Oceania tournament changes that, with top Australian and New Zealand talent like mOOnGLaDe, iM.MaFia, and xG.JazBas battling it

out for $10,000 in winnings and a ticket to the WCS Finals in China. Joining the players will be some of the most famous and revered StarCraft 2 commentators, with Code S commentators Artosis and Tasteless being joined by HDstarcraft and PainUser. Game director for StarCraft 2, Dustin Browder, recently commented that “every time I think it can’t get any bigger, it gets bigger.” Innuendo aside, Browder has fingered the truly astonishing thing about this competitive gaming sensation; despite the extraordinary quick rise of StarCraft 2, it is only amassing a bigger fan base, defying those who dismiss it as a craze. See for yourself this coming weekend: go down in person to the Australian Technology Park for the competition, or watch the free video stream online. Visit aclpro.com.au/blizzard2012 for more information.

South Korea is considered the global center of eSports and professional Starcarft tournaments.

#honitech

Action-Reaction SCIENCE FEATURE

Deep under the sea, whale carcasses breed new life

The complex ecosystems of whale falls support unique and intriguing life forms, writes Arghya Gupta

The humpback whale that surfaced in Newport last week. Source: ABC News

Last week the body of a humpback whale washed up on Sydney’s Newport Beach. Why it did so remains to be seen, but experts suggest that it was sickly or malnourished with a thinner layer of blubber than expected. The humpback was too weak and the strong swells of the ocean brought it in to the northern beaches of Sydney. After a couple of days when it wasn’t taken back with the tide, a chainsaw team was called in to cut it up, arguably wasting the perfect opportunity for an episode of popular anatomy show ‘Inside Nature’s Giants’ to be made. Our friend ended up as part of

the Lucas Heights landfill site, but in any other case, you may just well be asking: what happens to whales when they die? A lot of the time they end up on the plates of Japanese and Norwegian diners, at other times they get scavenged upon by fish and other sea creatures before the bone erodes away over a couple of years. Other times, when the water is deep enough for oxygen levels to be so sparse that aerobic interactions are at a bare minimum, whales with large enough surface areas sink to the bottom of the ocean and stay there. These carcasses are called ‘whale falls’. Whale falls are a relatively new concept. Until recently, whale deaths in deep waters were presumed to follow much the same procedure of their shallower gravemates. It was only in 1987 that a deep sea submersible called Alvin, scouring the sea bed off the Californian coast, spotted something they presumed to be a dinosaur skeleton. On closer inspection, it was found to be the remains of a blue whale, with all its bones intact, as well as harbouring a forest of marine flora and fauna. Things which have been found to exist only at whale falls, and nowhere else, including a species of worm, the Osedax, which have no

mouths or stomachs, but just an ability to burrow into the whale bones and feed off the bone marrow oils and fats. In deep water, bacteria feed off the muscle cells and bone cells. In extremely deep water, the oxygen needed for the bacteria to function is not sufficient, and as a result, the damage and disintegration of bone seen in normal depth carcasses is skipped, and the carcass floats down to the sea bed, undamaged. There it gives rise to more than thirty of the aforementioned species which live solely on the chemicals in whale bones, and can possibly last for more than 100 years. Shipwrecks have also shown ecosystems of this sort, but they have been a recent phenomenon compared to the fossil record of whale falls suggesting they have existed for thousands of years. But herein lays the problem of whale fall sightings. With the advent of whaling since the 1800s, the proportion of whales dying naturally in deep water have been significantly reduced.With most whale species now classified as endangered, the likelihood of humans coming across more whale falls is lower, especially given deep sea exploration is only slowly improving as an activity and research method. With fewer whale

falls, there are likely to be fewer bizarre species inhabiting this planet. Indeed, they may have enzymes to prevent the progression of cancer, but more so, their reduction will mean some of the fascinating aspects of nature will be lost as more whales end up at Lucas Heights. If they die naturally however, there may be some cool Virgin concept allowing us to see firsthand perhaps some of the craziest things known to science.

Arghya Gupta is on Twitter: @argsyd

The skeletal remains of a whale. The skeleton itself harbours a rich diversity of organisms.

SPORT

Who’s next? Australian Olympians have been made to feel their pain

Whether hounding Stephanie Rice or shaming James Magnussen, the judgemental tendencies of the Australian media do our athletes no favours, writes Samantha Wright

Chastised by the media for her supposed weight gain, Leisel Jones was heavily criticised before even entering the pool. Source: Yahoo news

Would it be too far a stretch to say the London Games have accelerated the demise in quality Australian journalism? Just one week into the games, I can report on the following. Leisel Jones is overweight, Stephanie Rice has let us down, the Australian team remains notorious within the Olympic village for their frivolous partying, and contention continues to stir over Nick D’Arcy’s idiotic behaviour. Considering journalists have four years to plan their Olympic coverage, it is pathetic that these trivialities

have commanded such great attention. Instead of coverage that fosters national pride, and unity between the Australian athletes and those of us watching from behind the telly, it would appear the greatest media emphasis this Olympics has been the dissapointing performance of our athletes. Heaven help young Stephanie Rice, clocking in at 6th place for the 400-metre individual-medley. Having lost both her Olympic crown and event record, Rice struggled to comnceal her distress on national television: “More than anything, I hope I haven’t let anyone down,” she said. That evening, the Herald Sun published an article with the title ‘At least she was satisfied with trying to overcome her injury-plagued preparation’. This was a patronizing attempt to frame Rice’s performance as marginally acceptable, given how her injury rehabilitation had impeded her training. Alarm bells should be going off here. It would appear as though our journalists and media authorities have lost sight of what the Olympics games are all about. Get real - qualifying for the Games should be a well-respected achievement in the minds of us all. If our athletes reach the podium in any given event, then of course this should be celebrated. But in the absence of such phenomenal achievement, our media should not encourage public condemnation and shame toward these individuals. Mateship and national pride are sup-

posedly organic to us Australians, the backbone of our society. Why then can we treat our athletes with such disrespect? To be competing in the Olympic Games is a stupendous achievement, and this achievement should stand alone. The real problem is that we don’t see athletes as merely sporting greats. We see them as national icons, as role models, and as figures that should encapsulate what it means to be Australian. We have created a rigid, idealistic mold in which we expect athletes to fit. Such explains how Ms Rice’s unexpected 400IM loss could be framed by the media as letting down her country. Similarly, the Aussie men in the 4x100-metre freestyle relay were tipped to bring home gold this Olympics. Yet, on 30 July, when the boys dived into the pool, they were having an off day. Apparently athletes aren’t allowed to have off days. They were slammed by Australian journalists as being a national disappointment. An article published by The Australian seemed to doubt there was any justification as to why our boys came fourth, its headline proclaiming: “Shocked Australian men’s 4x100m freestyle relay team struggles to explain loss”. Lisa Curry, three times Olympian, spoke to ABC Local Radio with comment on the Australian men’s relay team result. She said the media put a lot of pressure on them. “I seriously think they put too much pressure on themselves,” Ms Curry said.

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She recognised that although our male team “wouldn’t have in their wildest dreams thought they’d get fourth place,” it is important to not lose sight of what the Olympic Games are all about: the excitement, the surprise, and the sharing of talent from across the globe. Just because our athletes don’t achieve a couple of the results they’ve been striving for doesn’t allow all of us lazy buggers to start criticising them. Nor does it mean that disappointing results should overshadow the positive achievements. There are some remarkably uplifting and inspiring stories emerging out of this Olympic Games: it would be a shame if they too were drowned out.

James Magnussen suffered heartbreak, losing the men’s 100m freestyle by 0.01 seconds.

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Lecture Notes THE QUIZ

SUDOKU

1 G L for M

1. The only swimming gold medal Australia has won at the 2012 London Olympics came in what event?

2 468WDWA

2. What is the name of the second album released by Australian indie rock band, The Temper Trap?

15 M on a D M C

3. “My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go” are the famous final words of which Irish author, poet and playwright?

TEASER

4. What is the capital of Argentina? 5. In what year was Malcolm X assassinated? 6. Which of the following is not a prime number?

TARGET

A) 41 B) 91 C) 71 7. Tony Stark is the alter ego of what superhero? 8. In what month of 2010 did Julia Gillard become Prime Minister of Australia? 9. The airline ‘Lufthansa’ originates from what country? 10. Which of the following nations took home the most gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics?

U U I

A) United States B) China C) Great Britain

KENKEN

11. Ophidiophobia is the fear of what? 12. Russian Yuri Gagarin is famous for what feat?

Make as many words out of the letters above, always including the letter in the centre. 9 = You did better last week.

13. Winner of the Booker prize in 1981, Midnight’s Children is a novel written by which British Indian novelist?

19 = Why are you bothering. 28 = What a stupendous day you are having.

14. “Ice cold. Hot wired”, is the tagline for which of the following films? A) Gone in Sixty Seconds B) Van Helsing C) Heat 15. Who plays the character Donald Draper in the popular AMC TV series Mad Men? 16. True or False: Roman statues were made with detachable heads, so that one head could be removed and replaced by another. 17. Who led the small Spartan force that famously stalled Xerxes’ army at Thermopylae in 480 BCE? 18. “A squat grey building of only thirty-four storeys. Over the main entrance the words, Central London Hatchery and Conditioning Centre, and, in a shield, the World State’s Motto, Community, Identity, Stability.” Is the opening line from what famous novel? 19. What colours would you find on the Hungarian national flag?

KenKen tips: 1. Numbers can not repeat in any row or column.

20. In what century did Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart die?

3. In the upper left-hand corner of each cage is a target number and a mathematical sign indicating how the numerals within a particular cage interact to produce the target number.

Answers below

2. The puzzle is split into boxes called “cages”.

CROSSWORD

ACROSS 9. Mortgage for Mr. Simpson, we hear, when no-one else is in (4,5) 10. Fusion of toe swelling, mostly (5) 11. Sailor receives aims (7) 12. Arrives at addresses without quiet (7) 13. Chooses plectrums (5) 14. Revelations remove model from former positions (9) 16. Officer! The Spanish notice change at voting time (7,8) 19. Coastline’s point like a hat – extremely erroneous (9) 21. Virginia to allow manservant (5) 22. Funky blues greeting Blues Brothers creator (7) 23. Hiding the lean or hungry, Rigby or Roosevelt (7) 24. Top job: a man is in it? (5) 25. Car doesn’t start with chap in a different 2-dn country (9)

Ghoti

DOWN 1. Romney’s phone book? (5,5) 2, 4. Gaiman novel involving creaming soda (8,4) 3. Gets narrower voice recorders? (6) 4. See 2 5. City repairs Troops’ Mile (10) 6. Apostle has heart replaced with poor ending (sic) in prehistoric era (8) 7. Loud is her library (6) 8. ‘Antelopes’ sung backwards (4) 14. Like an oval and…? (10) 15. Reviewed rationales of the upper house (10) 17. Wash queer Santorum before oldtimey vehicle (8) 18. ‘Sickly in Love’ is 2-dn state (8) 20. Almost call Doris for twenty-four hours (6) 21. Ms. Hathaway returns after six in European city (6) 22. Mills’ partner has no right in boron (4) 23. Therefore ogre is strung up (4)

Please direct any crossword questions or complaints to ghoti.cryptic@gmail.com

Answers: 1. Women’s 4x100m freestyle relay 2. The Temper Trap (same name as the band) 3. Oscar Wilde 4. Buenos Aires 5. 1965 6. B) 91 7. Iron Man 8. June 9. Germany 10. B) China 11. Snakes 12. The first human to journey into outer space 13. Salman Rushdie 14. A) Gone in Sixty Seconds 15. Jon Hamm 16. True 17. King Leonidas 18. Brave New World 19. Green, red and white 20. 18th century Brain Teaser: One giant leap for mankind, Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest.

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@honi_soit

SRC Help

MORE MONEY Great news for Centrelink recipients! There have been changes in the rules around the Personal Income Test. Previously where you have been able to earn $236 per fortnight without having a reduction in your allowance, you are now allowed to earn $400 per fortnight.

Dear Abe, Centrelink want to cut me off my payment because they say I should have finished my degree by now. Do you know anything about that? PD. Dear PD,

Additionally you can accumulate that amount (if you don’t use it) to a maximum of $10,000.

The Students’ Representative Council (SRC) Legal Service has a solicitor on Darlington campus to provide free legal advice, representation in court and a referral service to undergraduate students at Sydney University. Knowing the law can be tough without getting some help first. If you would like legal advice, representation in court or simply need to know who to talk to, the SRC Legal Service can provide help free of charge. The SRC Legal Service solicitor can assist you with a wide range of legal issues such as:

• Family law (advice only) • Criminal law • Traffic offences • Insurance law • Domestic violence • Employment law • Credit & debt • Consumer complaints • Victims compensation • Discrimination and harassment • Tenancy law • Administrative law (government etc) • Immigration advice (one session only) • University complaints • Other general complaints Note: The solicitor cannot advise on immigration law but can refer you to migration agents and community centres.

For Family Law and Property Relationships Act matters we can refer you to solicitors who charge at a fair rate.

Ask Abe

Appointments Phone the SRC Office to make an appointment 9660 5222 Drop-in sessions Tuesdays & Thursdays 1pm-3pm (no need for an appointment) Location Level 1, Wentworth Building (under the footbridge on City Road) Darlington Campus NEED a Justice of the Peace? Here is a list of JP’s on campus: http://www.usyd.edu.au/staff/directories/jps.shtml If you are a postgraduate student

please contact SUPRA www.supra.usyd.edu.au or phone 02 9351 3715 Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Level 1 Wentworth Building, Uni of Sydney 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au

ACN 146 653 143 The SRC’s operational costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney.

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What you’re talking about is called the Maximum Allowable Time for Completion. It affects lots of students. The basic principle behind it is that you are allowed to get paid until you have exceeded the amount of semesters it would take for most people to ordinarily complete their degree plus one extra semester. Sometimes it’s plus one year, but that’s only when your subjects are a year long. So if you’re doing an Arts degree that’s 3 years plus 1 semester full time equivalent. Remember that this tells them when you should be cut off. It is not dependent on whether you have received a payment for all of that time or not. We have found some Austudy students doing Medicine who have been told that the time they have spent doing a previous degree should count. So medicine is 5 years long, so they should be allowed 11 semesters. However they had to do a previous degree, eg, Bachelor of Science, which takes 3 years or 6 semesters. That leaves 5 semesters or only 2.5 years to be able to get paid. Well that premise is actually WRONG. Medicine is a special degree, because it is a normal entry requirement to complete a Bachelor’s degree. Therefore previous Bachelor study should not count. If Centrelink tell you otherwise, it might be worth appealing this decision. I helped a student with this last semester and he received a back payment of more than $5000. Abe.

Abe is the SRC’s welfare dog. If you would like to ask Abe a question send an email to help@src.usyd.edu.au. Abe gathers his answers from experts in a number of areas. Coupled with his own expertise on dealing with people, living on a low income and being a dog, Abe’s answers can provide you excellent insight.

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SRC Reports President’s Report: Giving Students A Fare Go

president@src.usyd.edu.au

Phoebe Drake reports on the SRC campaign for universal travel concessions • Domestic part-time student • Domestic full-time student with a job (part-time or otherwise) • External student • Postgraduate student

Why you (probably) don’t qualify for concession I have always been of the opinion that the legislation governing travel concession in NSW is incredibly unfair. Not only is it extremely difficult to fit the eligibility criteria for a travel concession card, but, also, as the costs of being a student add up, paying the full fare compromises the ability of students to travel around the city, state and nation. Most students are unaware that, under law, they are not entitled to the travel concession they carry with them. And, in most cases, when I explain the eligibility criteria, students are either shocked, or refuse to believe me. To put it bluntly, if you fit any of the following categories, you currently do not under NSW legislation qualify for travel concession: • International student

So, basically, you only qualify if you are a domestic, full time student without employment. Hands up if you fit into that category? Not many people do, which is why we need to see the laws changed so that any student can have the right to access travel concession. For a long time, student unions across the country have campaigned to see a fairer system for all. Whilst some states have granted travel concession cards to international students, NSW has not budged, which is odd, especially considering the importance of the international education sector to both Australian society, and the country’s economy. In 2010-11, international students contributed $16.3 billion in export income to the Australian economy. Additionally, it’s no secret that universities rely on the income from full-fee paying international students to subsidise the education of domestic students.

“So why do we need to make sure all students can access travel concession?” Why not just give up the fight and move on to another issue?

There are two simple reasons why travel concession is important, and that’s safety and affordability of transport. Safety is a really big issue because when students study late at campus in the evenings, not being able to afford the fare home puts students at risk of being mugged, or exposed to dangerous situations. Additionally, in a world of overpriced textbooks, rent, food, bills, and everything else a student must find funds for, paying the full fare is an additional expense. It is not, consequently, a ridiculous notion that travel concession should be provided. In fact, it makes sense to do so. I’m often asked why I still get out and campaign around this issue, considering we have fought for years and seemingly achieved no change. The reason for continuing the campaign is quite simpleno great win comes over night, and, considering how unfair the current system is, we must keep agitating for change. The change must also come from somewhere, and if it is not from within the student or activist movement, then it will not happen at all. Last year I sat on the Premier’s Council for International Education where the idea of travel concession for international students was broached. Interestingly, a number of options and

Vice-President’s Report: Legalising Drugs

models were floated, yet no conclusion was reached. There is it seems a will for the introduction of a scheme, but we must keep fighting in order to see it happen. I have continuously advocated for change in this area, but building broader support is also crucial, which is why I would like you all to get involved! This semester, the SRC is running a campaign around fair fares, and is petitioning the students, and broader community, for a national travel concession card scheme. If you’re interested in getting involved, or want to find out more, email me at president@src.usyd.edu.au

Where’s Wireless? Do you have problems with your wireless on campus? Want to make sure the university knows? Take the time to fill in the SRC’s survey and let us know! http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ whereswireless

vice.president@src.usyd.edu.au

Tom Raue believes in healthcare and education over law enforcement

Policy and the SRC

At the recent SRC meeting we amended our policy to support the legalisation and regulation of all drugs. One of our welfare officers Brigitte and I initiated this because we believe it’s an important issue for students, and the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney

Notice of 2012 Students’ Representative Council Annual Election

majority of council agreed. It’s important to look at why the SRC takes political stances. The main way that the SRC helps people is through direct assistance including our legal service and caseworkers. We provide emergency loans to students and a second hand book shop. This is where the majority of our funding goes. The other side of the SRC is the policy or activist side. We take political stances and lobby for them because we think it will help students. The SRC fights against staff and course cuts, against the closing of the Koori Centre, for lectures on line and an end to illegal course costs.

Broader issues, like drug legalization, also have a huge effect on the lives of students. Although the SRC is not in control of the country’s drug policy, we are a modestly important lobby group that provides resources for activists. By engaging in activism against drug prohibition, or even just taking a public stand, we can make a difference. Many students struggle with addiction which adversely affects their study. The government should direct funds away from ineffective law enforcement and into healthcare and education. Many students engage in relatively harmless

recreational drug use but are harassed by police. As a demographic, students are disproportionately affected by drug prohibition, and the SRC wants to help them. In my first report of the year I said the SRC should stop ignoring drug activism, and finally we are on our way to changing that. If you disagree, then great! Robust debate on topics like this is what makes the SRC great. Whatever you think about drugs, education, queer rights or the environment, you should run in the upcoming council elections so you can influence SRC policy.

Nominations for the Students’ Representative Council Annual Elections for the year 2012 close at 4.30pm Wednesday 22nd August 2012. Polling will be held on the 19th and 20th of September 2012. Pre-polling will also take place outside the SRC Offices Level 1 Wentworth Building on Tuesday 18th of September 2012 from 10 am - 3pm. All students who are duly enrolled for attendance at lectures are eligible to vote. Members of the student body who have paid their nomination fee to Council are eligible to nominate and be nominated, except National Union of Students national office bearers. Fulltime officebearers of the SRC may also nominate as NUS delegates.

Nomination forms can be downloaded from the SRC website: www.src.usyd.edu.au, or picked up from SRC Front Office (Level 1, Wentworth Building).

Nominations are called for the following elections/positions and open 1st August 2012 at 8pm:

Nominations which have not been delivered either to the locked box in the SRC front office or to the post office box shown above and submitted online by the close of nominations will not be accepted regardless of when they were posted.

(a) The election of the Representatives to the 85th SRC (33 positions) (b) The election of the President of the 85th SRC (c) The election of the Editor(s) of Honi Soit for the 85th SRC (d) The election of National Union of Students delegates for the 85th SRC (7 positions)

Nominations must also be lodged online along with your policy statement and Curriculum Vitae (optional), by close of nominations at: www.src.usyd.edu.au. For more information, call 9660 5222. Signed nomination forms and a printed copy of your online nomination must be received no later than 4.30pm on Wednesday 22nd August, either in the locked box at the SRC Front Office (Level 1 Wentworth), or at the following address: PO Box 794, Broadway NSW 2007.

The Regulations of the SRC relating to elections are available on-line at www.src.usyd.edu.au or from the SRC Front Office (level 1, Wentworth Building). Authorised by Paulene Graham, SRC Electoral Officer 2012. Students’ Representative Council, The University of Sydney Phone: 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au

SRC Reports General Secretary’s Report: Technology Talks

general.secretary@src.usyd.edu.au

Tim Matthews fights for our right to have better technology on campus than UTS

1850 was a year of significant changes in the world: California became the 31st state of the United States, Lehman Brothers (of the recent sticky GFC-end)

was founded, and in a British colony in the South Pacific, Australia’s oldest university was established. Obviously, quite a few things have changed since then (not least of all around 48,900 additional students, a great many new degree programs, and most importantly of all… Manning). However, anybody who tried to access Blackboard (or is it E-Learning? Or WebCT? LMS?) last week can be forgiven for questioning just how much has changed. The side of the Law School reliably informs me that Sydney University now has an app (its just like Angry Birds, but less good for procrastinating in lectures). They’ve spent the last semester installing fancy computer poddy-things (I’m sure their reports have slicker names for them) in Carslaw and Fisher.

However, the use of technology at the University of Sydney falls far behind other major Universities. This is immediately obvious to anybody who has ever tried to change their timetable, enroll online, plug in a laptop in a lecture theatre or access WiFi. On some basic level, when it comes to technology, our University can sometimes seem stuck in the stone age. The SRC is working with the University to communicate student concerns regarding the use of and access to technology on campus. This semester, we will again be running a campaign on the issue of lecture recording (an issue sure to earn us the ire of half the faculty). Increasing lecture recording is important for any number of students around campus, from those with intense

Womens Officer’s Report: Update on LifeChoices

work commitments, to students with a disability. Many other universities (I hate to say it, but UTS) have policies requiring all staff to record lectures for the benefit of students. We want to see the same here. In an attempt to prevent you from running table to table in the Merewether study space, or relocating permanently out of the Bosch Building, we are also talking to the University about the WiFi coverage on campus. We have an online survey up where you can bitch out about those black spots around the campus (especially if you’re ever on a satellite campus), and we will compile your wish list and give it to the uni! The survey can be accessed at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ whereswireless.

womens.officers@src.usyd.edu.au

Annabel Osborn gives us the low down on how we can celebrate women in the performing arts

On Friday the June 1 the University of Sydney Union Board approved the formation of an anti-choice (anti abortion and euthanasia) society, called ‘LifeChoice’. According to its remit, the USU is supposed to promote positive campus culture, not fund the promotion of views that are destructive to others peoples’ rights. This society is inherently discriminatory and they’re being funded by our access cards and our SSAF money. This is an affront to not just women on campus but all students. As women’s officers we were very proud that at the most recent SRC meeting, the council approved a motion condemning the actions of the USU and the society. Furthermore hundreds of students have come together in protest; signing online petitions, attending forums and engaging with the debate on campus.

These events indicate that we need to demand reform in our union and also highlight that women’s rights must be constantly fought for and protected, even on campus. To keep up to date with the campaign against ‘LifeChoice’ Society join the facebook group or email us at usydwomenscollective@gmail.com. During the holidays a number of women from our collective attended the annual Network of Women Students Australia conference at ANU in Canberra. This week long event included speakers, workshops and social events and was attended by women from all over Australia. Topics and issues tackled throughout the week ranged from domestic violence and inequality in the law to women poets and porn. NOWSA was a fantastic opportunity to meet feminist students from other unis and

it was really inspiring to hear about the breadth and depth of feminist activism happening around Australia. We’re getting very excited about our upcoming women’s performance night ‘KNIGHTESS’, which is at 6pm, 20th August, Manning Bar. Entry will be by gold coin donation with all proceeds going to ‘Lou’s Place’, a fantastic women’s shelter in King’s Cross. The lineup has a bit of everything from spoken word by Caitlin Still to wonderful musicians such as Eirwen Skye, Rainbow Chan, Kimberley Aviso, Violet Pulp and more! There will also be zines created by local artists and writers. All the performers and organisers are women but everyone is welcome to attend on the night! So come and celebrate women in the performing arts for a great cause!

Education Officer’s Report: Education Revolution

For more info check out the facebook event ‘Knightess 2012’. If you’re interested in participating by performing, promoting or anything else please email us (email same as above). Don’t forget – Women’s Collective meet every Wednesday at 1pm in the Women’s Room in the Holme Building.

education.officers@src.usyd.edu.au

Sam Farrell reports on upcoming SRC education campaigns

Right about now is the time of semester when a student’s hip pocket cops a shellacking. Textbooks, readers, equipment, field trips and the like all converge on the bank account at once and land us up surviving on Easy Mac for a week just to cover what can end up being anything from one hundred to one thousand dollars. The SRC will be rolling out an information-collecting campaign in the next week, so look out for a survey that should hopefully flood your Facebooks. Here’s a brief guide to the legislation governing student payments: CRITERIA

CAN CHARGE

The fee is for a good or service that A textbook containing optional is not essential to pass the Unit of further readings Study The fee is for an alternative form of access to a good or service that is an essential component of a course or program but is otherwise made readily available at no additional charge by the University

CANNOT CHARGE A textbook that is essential and isn’t available in the library

A textbook that is essential to pass Equipment for a practical assessthe course but is available in the ment that the University doesn’t library loan you for free

Microphone equipment for MECO assessments but you can acquire it for free from the University The fee is for an essential good or Items that are essential to pass Any materials used for (or related service that the student can acquire your UoS, but they become your to) a compulsory assessment that from somewhere other than the property and aren’t used up during are consumed during the course university AND is for: the course Plastic disposable teeth moulds (i) equipment or items which beStethoscopes come the physical property of the Accompanists for assessments at student and are not consumed dur- Lab coats the Conservatorium ing the course of study OR Architecture/architecture tools Chemicals, filters, animal feed, (ii) food, transport and accomcrops etc. modation costs associated with the Food, transport or accommodation provision of field trips; or on field trips that you can acquire Clinical equipment yourself – you aren’t required to use the University’s transport, organized meals or accommodation The fee is imposed principally as Late enrolment fees Extra charges to cover administraa disincentive and not in order to tive costs for raise revenue or cover administraalternative forms of payment tive costs

There has also been a significant restructuring of the Koori Centre at our University. This centre provided not only units of study and an honours program, but a support unit for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students to assist them through their chosen degree. This is all set to change, and ostensibly for the worse. The Units of Study will no longer be administered by specialised Koori Centre staff, but will be distributed throughout various faculties – principally Education and Social Work. While this may mean that students have more exposure to the possibility of taking the UoS, it also makes it much easier for the unit to be restructured and the essence of Koori Studies to be lost. This may be only speculation, but one thing is certain – the dismantling of the centre will be the end of the community atmosphere that is so key in retention of students throughout their study.

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I understand the financial crisis that the University is facing, but functionally disbanding such an important element of our academic community and an essential cog in addressing structural inequality in our education system should be the absolute last resort. Sometimes the status quo shouldn’t be interfered with, much less under the dubious guise of ‘strategic planning’.

The Sea of Hands, organised by the Koori Centre during Reconcilation Week

honi soit

The Sandstone Report Another Day, Another Drink with Dr Rupert Thorogood

Belinda, my porcine PhD student, has made a complaint to the powers that be about my “academically underwhelming and personally misanthropic serial misconduct” as her supervisor. Well, by the powers vested in me by this half bottle of claret I just finished, let me tell you Belinda, you scholastic spastic, this

is simply not how things are done! How dare she have the audacity to expect her PhD supervisor to actually care about her research project much less like her as a person! Is she so wholly ignorant of the customs of academia that she is unaware that being treated like the scholarly scum she is is a time-honoured tradition

It was about eleven o’clock in the morning, early August, with the sun shining, and I had a look of hard determination on my face as I patrolled the Quad. The lawns had just been mowed and I was waiting for the groundskeepers to put that rope fence-y thing back up. I scanned the sandstone paths daring someone to try and cut across the grass. “Go ahead, make my day”, I muttered to myself. “What mate?”, said the groundskeeper pushing his roller towards my corner. “Uh, nothing mate, just thinking aloud”. I readjusted my Oakleys and stared down a student who was walking

past me. “What’d you say to me, man?”, I asked. “What? Nothing dude, I’m just running late for a tute.” “Oh, so you thought you’d just cut across the lawns did ya?” “No, no–“ “Because you’re not allowed on the grass, you know that right?” “I’m just going to class...” “Oh are you now? Well keep it that way.” I watched him as he shuffled off, daring him to set foot on the grass. As he reached the corner near the Great Hall his foot brushed the side of the lawn. Bad move. “Oi! I said, stay off the grass!” Before he could even turn around I was after him, tearing across the lawn. His eyes lit up with terror and he squealed like a girl. Turning in fear he ran straight through the archway, headed towards Science Rd. Not if I had

handed down from Plato! You don’t think he and Socrates were all chummy do you? No, there was a blissfully simple power dynamic: teacher and student, and it worked pretty well for them didn’t it?! But enough of my fiery spleen, my doctor tells me I must rest it or else cut back on my tipple, neither of which are likely given the predicament I find myself in. If the tribunal finds against me, I face the gallows of academic probation. O shame upon shame! I have not been published in nigh on two years! I feel the sword of Damocles hovering above my crown, the hangman’s noose about my nape, the Grim Reaper of ‘institutional restructuring’ drawing ever nearer. Damn this incorrigible swine and her incessant oinking! Prior to this I had been forgotten by the university administration and their cursed ‘economic rationalism’. Like a cerebral chameleon I had successfully hidden my interminable inadequacies so that none would dare question the pedagogic utility of Dr. Rupert Thorogood. Safe in my leather-

anything to say about it. “Stop! Campus Security!” I’d have tackled the little shit then and there if it wasn’t for the fucking groundskeeper getting in my way. I barreled straight into him, knocking us both to the ground. “Oi mate, what the f-“ “Shut it grass monkey, I’ve got bigger fish to fry!” As I got back up I got one last look at the perp before he rounded the corner. “You’ve just fuckin’ ruined my lawn

bound lair, I had subsisted on the most meager of sustenance – a letter to the editor here, a scholarly point of contention there. But alas, I have become undone…like a shark that must keep swimming to survive, I must publish and publish soon! Olivia is still yet to reciprocate my affections…time and time again I have pondered the feasibility of a lithe, nubile sylph such as herself falling for an admittedly slightly unkempt, but nonetheless raffish man of letters such as myself. O Fortuna, grant me your grace, that I might bed this lusty wench before semester ends and she slips from my fawning grasp like all too many before her. But hark! What noise down yonder corridor does emanate? The sprightly footsteps of my love? Away damned bottle! Begone accursed flask! Be still unruly locks! It is a knock and Olivia is to be – Belinda?! O Fortuna, thou art a cruel mistress! A cruel mistress indeed.

you dickbrain,” the groundskeeper yelled. I silenced him with a single knifehand strike to the side of the neck. Dusting myself off I surveyed the damage. He was right, I’d ripped up the grass pretty bad. “Collateral damage in the name of justice”, I thought to myself, when I saw out of the corner of my eye that the felon had accidentally dropped a piece of paper as he made his escape. A clue. I picked it up. “Foundations of Pharmacy”, it read. This wasn’t over, not by a long way.

Seen s u s p a ny t h i n a ny i c i o u s? g thin S een g C o nt a c t at a l l ? Sa www . h o n m i r at isoit .c o m

Generic Arts Student

Errgghhh. Being back at uni is such a drag. It doesn’t compare at all to Fuck Splendour In The Arse, this totally hip music festival my friends put on. It’s for everyone who totally knows that Splendour in the Grass is an inauthentic moneygrab put on by the thought policing vinyl burners at Sony/Trippy J. Along with herpes and a $600 coke debt, Fuck Splendor has left me even more disillusioned than I used to be with university. It just feels like such a cookiecutter institution. I mean, like, in my Arts degree I have only 52 options for majors. It’s just a bit limiting, hey. What if I don’t fit into one of those 52 categories. What if I’m all about ALL of those things a little bit each. What do I pick then? If only I could do an Arts degree majoring in Arts. That’d rock. Right now I feel like I’m being forced into something I’m just not. It’s like the uni is trying to turn me into a square,

honi soit

but I’m actually a triangle or a dodecahedron and I just won’t fit. I’m chafing against the edges of the square mold and it burns, hey. Worse than the actual chafing I got from shifting my weight slightly left to right and back again while watching A Band You Don’t Know And Other Hipster Cliches. Fuck they were good. Maybe it was just the combination of every overpriced designer drug ever I was on but I could have sworn at one point they actually started flying. And the drummer was DEFINITELY breathing fire. Anyway, I think I’m going to write to the Arts faculty and tell them that I hope Michael Spence fires all of them. I’m also going to explain how corrupt they are for not accepting my application for special consideration on the grounds of my weed dealer leaving the country just days before Fuck Splendour started. I was told a B.A was about (things I’ll never under-

We ran out of these bad boys by lunchtime, Day 2 at Fuck Splendour

stand) like perspective, the bigger picture and girls with thick-framed glasses. Not conservative special consideration policy.

@honi_soit

Which gets me thinking, my future used to be clay. I could mould it, you know? Now it’s goo. It’s runny, tired,

The Back Page

Honi Soit received a leaked transcript of the final ever episode of ABC TV’s Collectors that never made it to air. come by.

CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: Hi and welcome to Collectors, I’m Claudia Chan Shaw and I’m with Adrian Franklin –

far too long, far too long. Gordon. Adrian. GORDON BROWN: Uh, hello –

CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: Fascinating, now –

ADRIAN FRANKLIN: Hi!

ADRIAN FRANKLIN: Claudia, are you out of your mind?

ADRIAN FRANKLIN: Stop, Claudia, for the love of –

GORDON BROWN: Not the former UK Prime Minister, though!

CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: Now Andy, when did you really start getting serious about your collection?

CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: No, Gordon, not the former UK Prime Minister – every fucking week… Now this week we’re lucky enough to be joined by former Collectors host Andy Muirhead–

ANDY MUIRHEAD: Well I guess my collection really started to get serious around June of 2010… That’s when I really started realising what it meant to me.

CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: I’m really very sorry Andy usually we’re far more respectful of our guests, aren’t we? Now, when did you first discover your passion?

ADRIAN FRANKLIN: What?

GORDON BROWN: Claudia, please, why are you do-

CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: And Gordon Brown!

CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: – who’ll be talking to us about his collection of – GORDON BROWN: Oh God, please tell me you’re joking! CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: Andy, welcome back to the show, it’s been a while. ANDY MUIRHEAD: Thanks Claudia, lovely to be back. You’re right it’s been

CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: Sorry Andy, you were talking about your collection? ANDY MUIRHEAD: Not to worry Claudia. Uh, so far I’ve got just over 12,000 pieces, and a couple-dozen really valuable ones. I’m not sure how easy it will be to build on what I’ve already got; these things are pretty rare and hard to

ADRIAN FRANKLIN: GORDON! COME ON! CLAUDIA CHAN SHAW: Join us next week on Collectors when we talk to Jame Gumb about his unusual collection of women’s suits!

ANDY MUIRHEAD: Well, I can remember, even as a young man, it always kind of excited me. Things got a lot easier in the late 90s - the Internet makes collecting so much easier! It put me in touch with so many like-minded people, and I got in touch with some great networks that really helped me boost my collection. The sharing that goes on between us collectors really is a special kind of bond. ADRIAN FRANKLIN: That’s it, this is fucked. C’mon Gordon, we’re leaving. GORDON BROWN: Uh…

Former host of Collectors and alleged paedophile, Andy Muirhead.

The Palmer Coolum Resort

Come visit the most exciting, never-before-seen attractions in the world! As if the Titanic II wasn’t enough, we now bring you: Clive Palmer Rebuilds!

Th e re ad ersh ip of Bu ll ma ga zin e: Lo l jks. Im po ss ibl e - even wi th th os e dic ky new stan ds The rep utation of the Austra lian Swi mm ing Tea m: Tha nks to Do his larg e min era l hol din gs ‘Ca n and le oab und the Clive’ will do ers ens ure that Austra lian swi mm . es.. min his m Fro d! brin g bac k gol

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Jurassic Park: No, seriously.

honisoit.com

The Tw in Towers: You r pentho use views won ’t be blown up this tim e, we pro mis e.

honi soit

Honi Soit Opinion competition 2012

limbo

The Honi Soit Opinion Competition is back for the last time ever (using the Mayan calendar). It’s your chance to win $1500! Entries will be between 700 and 800 words on the theme of ‘LIMBO’. Judged by Joe Hildebrand, entries should be between 700-800 words, and the winners will get cash prizes and their works published in Honi Soit. Deadline: Midnight, Wednesday 26 September 2012, emailed to opinion@src.usyd.edu.au. Include: Full name, year, degree, faculty, student ID number, email address and phone number

The Opinion Competition is made possible by the generous donations of one of the University’s most supportive alumni.