Bruce Devlin

BRUCE DEVLIN COMEDIAN

Au revoir, it’s time to say goodbye. My tenure here is coming to an end, my beloved back page will be given to someone else, and it’s with some sadness that I bid Hood adieu—only temporarily, I hope. I want to say a huge thanks for the opportunity and support. It’s been fun.

This has got me thinking about goodbyes, as well as the people and things that come in and out of one’s life over time. Being an old queen myself, I’ve been looking on at the royals of late—particularly wee Archie’s mum and dad. I have to say, I’ve no real problem with the royals, as I think that most of them (e.g. HRH Wills, Prince Chuck, and Princess Anne) earn their keep as it were. Even Camilla is regularly seen up in Anstruther enjoying a fish supper whilst raising awareness for, well, whatever she’s raising awareness for. I’ve met Princess Anne on a few occasions, and like the fact she enjoys a drink and has kept the same hairdo for what seems like hundreds of years. Like her mother, a shampoo-and-set once a year and she’s good to go! Money well spent I’d say. Going back to Archie’s folks, I say if they want to go, let them!

No one needs nor wants a miserable monarchy. Let’s face it, the Windsors haven’t had the best time in the press over recent months and, quite frankly, I’m fed up with headlines skewing the actual matter at hand. They’re simply two people trying to do their own thing—why are people so angry with them?

Something that keeps being brought up is the Frogmore Cottage refurb; if we’re all so upset about it, maybe we should petition for public access. Or perhaps we can all sign-up for a timeshare on the place. Personally, I have more of a problem paying for the foul hats and holidays of other, extended members of the royal family. What do they do? Nothing, as far as I can tell.

To be honest, I can’t blame Meghan and Harry for looking to the likes of Sarah Ferguson who was set free and went on to earn her own cash—not that I’m saying the Sussexes need to join Weight Watchers or anything! Instead, I’m buzzing out my tights that Andy Coen has invited Meghan to join The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (or should that be Toronto?). Now that would be amazing as far as I’m concerned.

By the time this magazine makes it into your hands, I’m hoping things will have sorted themselves out a bit. I also don’t know if this is the beginning of the end of the royals. What I do know, however, is that, if Meghan and Harry do leave for pastures new, I’ll give them my best royal wave and wish them all the best in the process. After all, would you want an unhappy friend to stay in your life because you helped them with painting and decorating that time way back when, even if it made them even more miserable?

I believe that goodbyes aren’t always a bad thing; they may be painful but often, once the sun sets on something, it can throw light on something new.

With that, it’s goodbye from me.

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