IMPOSTOR PHENOMENON

WORDS : HECTOR SALAS

ART : ESME CONTRERAS

IIn the pursuit of passions and careers, there’s always the feeling like there’s someone who’s better than us. Regardless of how many toilsome hours we spend on our craft, it feels like there is someone else who has spent five minutes more than you. Yet, you have the awards and accomplishments. You got the internship. You were hired for the job. Not the other person. Why?

You somehow managed to trick everyone around you that you’re better than you actually are. Any compliments you receive are out of pity. Surely you are out the door soon enough. One mistake might send you packing. One screw-up might ruin your whole reputation.

So you slave away in front of your computer, late at night, losing precious hours of sleep. You hit the books hard. The concept of three meals a day is foreign. You turn in your work on time like expected. You refresh the gradebook obsessively. It’s not a perfect score. You could have stayed up later. You tell yourself that you could have sacrificed more. There’s always room for improvement. There’s always the need to prove that you belong. Not only that, but are you as good as you think you are? How much of your achievement is luck? One project goes great, but can you repeat your performance? This is the struggle of impostor syndrome. There is never an end to the fear of being a fraud.

“With any job, the person that hired you knows the position and they see the potential in you," Sara Hogue, a Residence Hall Coordinator for Colorado Mesa University’s Lucero Hall, said. "Trust in the process. You’re there for a reason — ask for help and just let it all go. It’s fine if it feels like you don’t know how to do it, because that’s where the practice comes in.”

YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO TRICK EVERYONE AROUND YOU THAT YOU'RE

BETTER THAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE.

YOU'LL BE FINE

YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO TRICK EVERYONE AROUND YOU THAT YOU'RE

BETTER THAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE. YOU'LL BE FINE

Impostor phenomenon goes further than the fear of failure. It can extend into the fear of success. Succeeding and being recognized as excellent at something means that more opportunity is coming your way to expose you for the poser that you were that whole time — or at least that’s the feeling. Here’s the point. It’s a feeling. Impostor phenomenon is often mislabeled as impostor syndrome. The gloomy, treacherous world of assignment and project submis- sion isn’t always that.

“Allow yourself to be human. Remember that we are all human and we do make mistakes,” CMU student Isayah Wheeler said. “We have problems that come up all the time. It’s important to remember that the people we look up to, it took them several years to get to where they are. Even if we are capable now, we have to realize that we have to start somewhere and work towards progression. Continue to push forth.”

Sometimes, a project goes so well and you feel like you executed it well enough that a small, warm and back-straightening feeling starts to grow inside. This feeling is pride. Sometimes, you surprise even yourself with your ability. Perhaps just this once, and maybe for the foreseeable future, you feel like you’re brimming with drive and skill. This is the dichotomy of the impostor phenomenon. You aren’t stricken with impos- tor syndrome like some illness. Instead, you’re conditioned by yourself to believe that you’re not who you say you are. If, however, you just take a moment and look up from your studies, work or self-loathing, then you might realize that the person who had worked harder than you by five minutes to take a break … and you should too. You’ll be fine. ▪