HORSE FORCE
ING A GRAND THE TOGETHER GUIDE TO PICK
NATIONAL WINNER
Here at Together, the closest we normally get to gambling is shoveling our coppers into the 2p machines at Goose Fair. But even we will cheerfully partake in the hallowed festival of entry-level betting that is the Grand National. On this one day we’d usually brave the bookies, pretend we know what we’re doing and gather to watch our horse gallop its way to inevitable defeat. This year, however, we’ve tried a different tack, and asked our enlightened twitter followers to share their racing tips. This is the rather splendid result. Proudly presenting Horse Force: the not-entirelyserious Together Guide to the Grand National.
e m a n e s r o h e h t r o f o I’d g f o t s o m e m s d n i m e r that an old girlfriend,
. e n o e k i l d e h g who lau @orphya
H
He
HE
hE
he
Go for the one with the
kindest
looking eyes. @katetetlow
Make a selection purely based on the name being something topical. So, this year, I’m hoping there’ll be a horse called ‘Burger Legs’. @pictographik
I close my eyes & im ag trampling on my la ine all of them te Grandad’s
flower bed.
I bet on the one that angers me the least.
@Albooth
1st
We’d get the horses d
rinking
Sambuca shots
and playing darts.
The last horse stand well that’d be our ti ing, p.
@Workspace1
We usually just opt @bottletopdesign
for the best kisser.
e s o h w e n o y l b a r e Pref name sounds like an alcoholic be verage.
@ OzBur ns
Every time a unicorn enters the Grand National it wins. Always go for the horse that won’t show its forehead.
@IzziMcIz
O O H P !
At the dog races
I always bet on
the greyhound who
has just had a poo. Does that count? @JaredLeftlion
It’s really
important to have a good-looking jockey. @lynntulloch
Go for one that looks calm and sensible. This applies to as well as horses.
wives
@bilbodad29
Generally I cut out the names of all the runners, in equal sizes, yellow paper with a pink trim,
I get a priest to bless them,
leave them to settle for 48 hours and
then throw them to the wind
and whichever returns gets the bet.
Or I go with the name I like. @Kirst laR
Thanks to everyone who tweeted us with your tips. We asked and you delivered – in your own special, strange way. Congratulations to @Albooth, who gallops home with the red rosette and a £30 bet. We regret that Burger Legs will not be running in this year’s race.