Life lessons learned from the animals we care for

by Vicky Jo Varner

My husband and I have been pet sitting abroad for almost two years all around Europe and the UK. We had some trepidation when we started, but it has been more fun than we ever dreamed of.

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t that much of a pet lover before I started sitting. But nearly every animal we’ve cared for has won my heart and become like extended family. Even more significantly, these animals have taught me some terrific life lessons.

Let me tell you what I learned from a few of them.

LESSON 1 - Optimism

In Spain we cared for a rescue dog named Peggy for 5 months while her “daddy” was away for work. Peggy’s history was tragic. Apparently she was pregnant but emaciated from starvation when she arrived at a pet shelter. It was so bad that she lost her puppies. But her new owner could see how smart she was and brought her home.

One lesson I learned from Peggy is that you can bounce back from calamity and still have a great life. The other lesson I learned is to be cheerful and uncomplaining. I admit that some days I slept in and didn’t wander out to feed her until a later hour than she deserved. But she always greeted me with a grin, wagging her tail mightily, delighted to see me.

She never barked. In fact, she barked only once in the entire 5 months we were there, and it was at a little dog who stole her ball and she wanted it back. For that reason, I noticed I wanted to do more for her than was expected.

For example, we researched to find her a “dog beach” to visit in Spain because we knew she loved water. We had to drive about an hour to get her there, but she was so happy in the ocean (she’d never experienced that before!) that we took her an average of once a week, sometimes more.

It was her optimistic, cheerful attitude that made us want to go the extra mile and make her happy, and I’m grateful to her for teaching me this lesson.

LESSON 2 - Focus and passion

In Bristol, England, we had two lovely dogs for a couple of weeks -- Oso and Kaiser. Both won our hearts, but it was Kaiser who taught me some important lessons. Once again, both dogs were rescues who came from difficult circumstances. Their owner was close to them, like handin-glove, and we aspired to match her attentiveness.

We soon learned that Kaiser liked balls. He was totally ball-focused. He was all about the ball. Even though he was a dog, I suspect he spent nearly every waking moment thinking about balls. And he had a big collection.

Sometimes he would bring you a ball and pester you to play with him. I learned a lot about focus from Kaiser. He showed me how to keep my eye on the ball. Attention was vital. I might get distracted and fall into “shiny object syndrome” with my work, but Kaiser would remind me again to focus on the ball. He was the ultimate embodiment of that mantra.

His home had two stories, and Kaiser would often bring a ball upstairs and join us on the bed together. Eventually we discovered that we could take the ball he brought us and lob it gently out into the hallway where it would fall down the stairs to the ground floor.

Kaiser would charge downstairs, retrieve his ball, and run back up the stairs to do it again. We didn’t even have to get off our butts! We’d get the ball from him and pitch it out the door to fall downstairs again. Over and over he would do this.

Now dogs often like to play, and can be tireless, but what impressed me about Kaiser was that he didn’t just run DOWN the stairs to get the ball... he also ran UP the stairs (every time!) to bring the ball back. I could hear his little feet pounding the stairs down and pounding the stairs up again.

He was unflagging. So along with effort, Kaiser taught me how to keep enthusiasm alive even on the back-end of a job and not just the front-end. Passion is contagious, and Kaiser proved that every time we played ball. I thank Kaiser for teaching me vital lessons about focus and passion.

One lesson I learned from so many animals we cared for was the attitude of expectation. Just ask for what you want, and “expect” to get it! Now practically every animal we’ve cared for whether it be hamsters, chickens, cats, or dogs - demonstrate how to ask for what they want, whether that be a treat, a pat, a game, or a walk. Some of them can be downright bossy about it! But it’s the second part that Charlie Brown and Billy taught me about.

LESSON 3 - Expectation

This was a sit in Preston, UK, with two little rescue dogs. Billy’s demeanour reminded me a lot of Kaiser, described above. He was also a go-getter. But Billy was also a little bit nervous, if not somewhat neurotic, perhaps from being poorly treated by his former owners.

His constant companion was our other pet charge, Charlie Brown. To this day I’m not sure we weren’t deceived by the home-owners, because Charlie seemed more like a cuddly teddy bear than a dog - and his fur was downy-soft like a furry toy animal - not at all like a dog. I’m still suspicious!

But the big difference between Charlie and Billy is that while both would ask for what they wanted, Charlie “expected” he would get it. If he wanted to cuddle, he would just come over and snuggle up. If he wanted to be petted, he would just push his wet little nose under my hand, even if I was typing rapidly on a keyboard (kind of like right now).

Charlie just assumed you would accede to his wishes. Not Billy. Billy would sit on the other side of the couch and glare at the attention Charlie was getting. He was jealous! But Billy wouldn’t come and snuggle with me the way Charlie would. He didn’t presume he was loved.

I realized at one point that, even though I would go out of my way to give Billy equal treatment, and I would earnestly invite him to come cuddle with me, it would never be enough. He was perpetually anxious and seemed to believe he was permanently one-down compared to his sibling. This realization broke my heart. Jealousy is not a good look on anybody, whether you’re a dog or a human.

And so what I learned from Billy and Charlie is the importance of asking for what you want AND expecting you'll get it.

It makes a big difference when you enter a roomful of strangers expecting them to like you and treat you well versus entering a roomful of strangers being afraid they won’t like you and won’t help you. Attitude truly is everything.

I thank Billy and Charlie Brown for teaching me this lesson.

It’s possible that I’m anthropomorphizing and projecting human qualities onto these animals. Yet, even if I am, I can still learn something from them. Furthermore, they may have inborn temperaments and traits commensurate with their breed that cannot easily be changed. But as a human being, I CAN change.

Observing the positive (and negative) impact their behaviour had on me and how it affected my opinion of them, gives that much more authority to these lessons they taught me. Their effect on us was palpable! I would be foolish not to try incorporating these positive attributes into my own way of being in the world. It is in my own best interest to grow and do better.

And now I must go, because it’s time to feed the dogs!

Happy pet-sitting.

After completing her PhD, Vicky Jo celebrated by touring Europe with her husband Robin. To keep it economical, they tried their hand at pet sitting. Since accruing 22 months of almost non-stop sits, they still enjoy the nomadic lifestyle and have fallen in love with many creatures.

Vicky Jo conducts professional type discovery with coaching clients and teaches various courses over Zoom, sometimes whilst wearing silly hats. Follow Vicky Jo and Robin at their website.

https://rw54196.wixsite.com/vjvrwsitters