Henrietta

It's not even the Presidential election year YET, and we are already being pummeled in the news with a seemingly never-ending, brutal attack on all candidates, from all sides. Very exhausting and as Aunt Hilda used to say, "downright ornery". However, one word I do like that keeps coming up is FREEfree healthcare, free college...but what about free hotdogs? And if all this stuff is free, whose gonna pay for it? I don't want to end up like Greece.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Gyros, Moussaka and Ouzo but then again, I love all food and beverages. It’s just that giving more stuff than you have to give usually ends up not so good. Math is not my thing but I do know that if mom promises me two free hot dogs that she doesn’t have and then borrows them from my cousin Harold’s mom who has to borrow them from their new neighbors, the Pitt family (yes, as in Bull, which means you better give back whatever you take), at some point someone ain’t gonna have any hot dogs and they are going to be "apawalled". Just sayin’ from experience.

Given my unabashed patriotism and deep desire for unity and civilized treatment of one another, I made it known last week at the Salty Dog that I would welcome the opportunity to be President. After the unhinged pandemonium of laughter subsided, Edwina Houndsman, the most intellectual of our group, decided to interview me.

Edwina: Henrietta, you seem to be a lady of conviction. What is your pawlitical position on immigration?

Henrietta: This is a delicate issue but my basic feeling is that our shelters are FULL. However, the problem is easily solved. Human beings have invented