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02 Richard Stern

Happy New Year. A list of upcoming classic and BMW-related events can be found here: www.bmw2002.co.uk/upcomingevents

The onslaught of the motorist doesn’t stop. Not only do we have the new ULEZ charge for driving inside London’s North and South Circular road, but apparently they now want to charge another £3.50-a-day for all cars entering London from outside the M25 to plug the billion-pound defecate that TFL has managed to incur. According to the press, the recently introduced ULEZ charge hasn’t reduced pollution in London.

With petrol prices at an all-time high it baffles me why the motorist is constantly paying for just about anything to do with transport and pollution. Energy companies are now pushing prices higher, instead of our constant demand for more, we need to say no. At time of writing, French lorry drivers are blockading their motorways in protest at fuel prices. Incidentally, 90% – yes 90 – of the world’s pollution comes from industry, not our cars. I guess personal transport is an easy target.

Make public transport better and then people will use it. Punishment is not the answer if you really do want to reduce car pollution. Is this all to force us to buy new electric cars, which are not as efficient as many people believe. They’re also certainly not the answer for many people who can’t charge their cars at home, never mind the lifespan of an electric car – it certainly won’t be 30plus years like many of our current cars.

BMW02 Lover Thailand

BMW02 Lover is a small group of Thai enthusiasts with a passion for the BMW 1600 and 2002. Besides driving and meeting up together, the collective also exchange opinions and knowledge about many BMW classic models, not only the E10.

From BMW02 Lover: “We admire the history of BMW, we love the design of it. We also respect freedom of thinking, we can be whatever we want, there’s no right or wrong, you are what you think. To our friends, thank you for your passion in BMW classics and also the knowledge and love that we get from you. We feel it. We will spread out those things to others.

We hope you visit Thailand. We have many beautiful places, we have smiles and good friendships.”

To anyone who wants to visit Thailand, please kindly contact Facebook: BMW02Lover Thailand Or Facebook: Oamsuwan (admin). Thank you for the beautiful shots, Ohm Akapong.

07770 443373 02register@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

Tail Pipe (from social media sources)

Lars Fisk is an artist who builds nothing but spherical sculptures. His creations include a ball-shaped trash can, ballshaped houseboat, ball-shaped tree… you get the idea. They’re cute, but they’re also oddly self-contained.

On show at the Dallas Art Fair, courtesy of the Broadway Gallery, is Fisk’s 2002ball that he created around 20 years

ago. Many of his works are handmade, but made to appear seamless and authentic. The BMW 2002, however, did require the assistance of factory professionals, according to this article from last year https://bit.ly/31YgFxJ. It looks to me as if the only OEM part is the BMW logo. The second image is from Fisk’s own webpage www.larsfisk.com, and I assume that’s him standing next to it. You get a better sense of the ball’s scale. Not even a child older than five or six could fit inside, there’s no legroom. But it is a marvel of steel, glass and rubber reduced to scale, including the dashboard and steering wheel. As you can see, some of it does function, the doors open and the rear view mirrors adjusts. I didn’t think to ask if it has a battery onboard so the headlights, wipers and turn signals might work too.

1 Series Anthony Mason

It’s been an expensive month (or two) for my 1M. I had planned a trip up north to see my sister, but after cleaning and fettling the little 1M ready for the trip, it pinged up with a request for rear pads. On closer inspection it was decided by the powers that be to do a good job. Discs were required too and although the fronts were still stating 4000 miles they weren’t much better as the discs were pitted and corroded. Much to everyone’s surprise there was a broken road spring that needed replacing, too. When I bought the 1M the rear tyres were replaced, that was three years and 25,000 miles ago, so when the wheels were off I got a fresh set of Michelin Pilot Super Sports ordered and fitted at an eye watering price.

So what could have been a simple job has turned into a big and expensive learning curve. The nice thing is that the car is getting a really nice fettling from Paul Travers at Specialist Cars. The funny thing is, when Paul went looking for front brake discs he found there was an international shortage. Normally they can look at the BMW supercomputer and have the parts sent overnight from Germany or elsewhere in the BMW network, but unfortunately there appears to be a worldwide shortage of 2011 brake disks compatible with an E92 M3 or 1M. So it became a waiting game for parts. The good thing was my windows had an annoying clunk when they went up, and there was found to be a fault within the rubberised bump stop so they have been replaced under the extended warranty. The lucky thing is Lola, my 4 Series Convertible, and I have been putting in the miles together, topless mostly.

3 Series Simon Maskell

Hello to you all. I will take this opportunity to wish you a Happy New Year and thank you for taking the time to read these words. One of the things I love about being a Register Captain is the interesting emails that you receive from time to time. It was a pleasure, as ever, when serial Alpina owner Chris Tranter dropped me a line recently. I have featured some of Chris’s vehicles before and, yet again, he continues to impress with his back catalogue. Chris had been inspired by Tahir’s Atlantis Blue M3, that featured recently in this section, and was kind enough to share with us his story of rare and unusual BMW paint colours. Take it away Chris.

“I’d seen an E30 Convertible Design Edition in Neon Green at what was then Wolverhampton Motor Services and loved the colour, but at that time I could not afford any BMW.

When I moved to Luxembourg, I was offered a company car, and it was then I thought of the E30 from a couple of years before. I ordered my Neon Green 325i Limousine (Saloon) in early 1993, and was the first person in Luxembourg to make an Individual E36 and the first E36 to be specified in this colour. In fact, the dealership did not know it was possible, so they had to phone Munich to confirm my request. After the order was confirmed, I had to wait approximately five months for delivery.

The day it arrived on the transporter I think every member of staff at the dealership was outside watching with me, they couldn’t believe it. I was thrilled.

It was then at the AC Schnitzer concessionaire for another three weeks whilst they transformed it into an ACS3. When it was finished it was gorgeous.

I owned this car for 15 years and had many great road trips in both Europe and back to the UK in it covering 285kms. It was also featured in Total BMW magazine with my two other E39 ACSs. Unfortunately it got written-off in an accident (not

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my fault) and the insurance company disagreed with the ACS concessionaire as to its value. So it was stripped down, the shell was sold to Lithuania, and the ACS parts used on an E36 Touring I had bought as a short-term cover until I could decide on my next car, which turned out to be the Alpina B8 4.6 Touring I still own, but that’s another story.

I’ve often wondered if my Neon Green Limousine is still surviving today, I had so many good memories with it. Kind regards,

Chris.”

Chris is clearly a man of taste and thanks again for sharing your experience with us all. Have you any thoughts you would like to share with the Straight Six reading audience? If so, please do contact me at the register email address and you could very well see your car appear in this section of the magazine.

That’s it for now, so until next time I wish you well.

3 Series E46 Simon Maskell

e46register@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

Can you believe that it is 2022? Well, it is and I wish you a Happy New Year. For me, 2021 had been a year of new adventures and of course new (old) cars. The one I have in mind in particular is my re-acquired 330d Touring automatic. It is a car that I had sold to the North East Region Chair (and Club Director don’t you know!) Nick Thomas. I then bought it back when he decided it was no longer required.

As a dyed-in-the-wool E46 man, I feel I know my way around the best BMW model, so I thought I would make a bold statement about this particular car: it may well be the best engine for road use of them all. Now before you start shouting at this page, let me justify this claim. I have been dailying the diesel for a couple of months now, so it is not just a honeymoon style reaction to the arrival of another car. This is why it is the best: torque. It has loads of it and low down the rev range too; this translates to rapid overtakes, without the need to chase the red line. When it gets up and goes, it just keeps going and in the real world, not the online one, this is what makes for a good car. The vehicle in question also benefits from being a Touring, so is super practical and I rather like the aesthetics of its form.

I am going to make another claim and that is the automatic is such a good choice for any car, but this one in particular. Now it is 20-year-old technology, so it is not a ZF eight-speed rival and the engine has to be thought of as a performance engine with average fuel consumption, if you want real economy you need a 320d. I am only averaging 33mpg, but I am loving every minute of it. I reckon I can probably achieve mid 40s on a run, but I don’t care. The sound that a six-cylinder diesel makes is sublime and in the E46 it is definitely not quiet and that is a huge part of its charm. Think cool tractor-like sound, with a whoosh from the turbo; what’s not to like?

In summary, I have a diesel car with (relatively) poor economy, that is noisy, and the gearbox is outdated; and I truly love it. My advice is, while you still can, get one as soon as possible, or you may live to regret it. Barring any major mechanical maladies, this is the beginning of an interesting journey for me and the Touring. In previous articles I have alluded to the fact there could be some interesting developments with the car’s cosmetics, watch this space.

That’s it for the moment, if you have any other E46-related content that you would like to see in these hallowed pages, drop me a line at the register link. Until next time, stay safe and remember, you need a 330d.

4 Series Paul Roberts

4series@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

By the time this article is published we will have had Christmas and hopefully will be celebrating a better 2022. I’m also hopeful that 2022 will give us more opportunities to get together and celebrate our BMW ownership. That will be my wish for 2022.

On the personal front, my car had its annual MOT recently and passed without any issues. The local dealer did say however that the front tyres were at 4mm, but were wearing a little on the outside edges. Of course, with both mine and almost all BMWs, the rear tyres are a different size to the fronts so I can’t swap them over as the rears have 6mm tread. Anyway, I will wait a little longer and after Christmas perhaps change them. Other than that, I bought some new wiper blades which I will fit shortly and some new mats as the other ones were looking a bit tatty.

I’m hopeful of trying another Scenic and Continental trip, possibly to the Peak District in 2022, but given the current Covid situation I will look at this again after Christmas.

I’m afraid that’s all to report this time. Please again, any 4 Series owners out there feel free to send me pictures and details of your car so I can include them in the magazine.

With best wishes to all for a happy and prosperous 2022.

5 Series E28 Tim Maltby

I must be on a roll, the M5 has also passed its MOT without an advisory in sight. The non-function of the fog lamps, as mentioned in last month’s article, was due to a dodgy switch and soon remedied after raiding my parts box. Again, I was pleasantly surprised how low the emissions were with the CO at 0.56 % (max 3.5) and the HC at 135 ppm (max 1200). Not bad considering the car has covered almost 201k miles.

I have now run out of excuses for not making a start on the M535i so guess what my New Year’s resolution is going to be. At least most of the car is under some form of cover, so let’s hope the winter is kind to us all. I don’t know about you but I tend to get most jobs done if I have a deadline to work to. So here we go, the plan is to take the car to Le Mans Classic at the end of June.

Residing in what some might call the sunny south, or is that the soft south, I had a shock looking outside this morning to see a modest covering of snow on the 520i. What I can report is that the patterns on the bonnet perfectly match the position of the self-adhesive sound insulation damper pads underneath!

Another highlight this month was that the 520 has now exceeded 100k miles. By anybody’s reckoning this is now fully run-in.

By the time you read this the 1st of January has probably been and gone, but as I type I am contemplating going up to either Brooklands or to Phoenix Green to start off the New Year. Bicester Scramble on the 16th Jan is pencilled in but at £15 per person I am holding off booking for the moment.

5 Series E34 Manj Sandhu

After my detailing adventure a couple of months ago with my dual action (DA) polisher, I was amazed at how beige-looking the white had become over the years, a milky creamy shade of Alpine white was clearly noticeable on close inspection. I estimate that my recent session with the DA was the first machine polish in well over a decade. Probably last done when it was entered into concours competitions many moons ago by the previous owner.

However, it was frustrating to see the majority of the car getting a much-needed new lease of life, while the areas that you cannot reach with the DA were left untouched. So I reluctantly pulled the trigger on a mini polisher to reach those tight corners, tough curves and edges.

The mini polisher set me back around £100, as I am still penny pinching. See below, it gets worse. I refused to fork out for the cordless version with it being significantly more expensive if you include all the pads and bits, too. That version is probably more suited to the professional detailers out there. I will give it a go with a few days off coming up and will let you know how I get on. This detailing is very addictive once you get started, I can see how it can quickly explode into something much more. I do need to attack the 525iX with the DA very soon.

Speaking of the 525iX. There has been a lot of work, well over 15 hours of labour and numerous parts, so where do I start? Let me list the parts first.

• BMW M50/M52 cylinder head – part no. 1738 400.

Externally sent cylinder head pressure tested and skimmed and extra port for missing temperature sensor hole added. • Engine Part – Number (Nr.) 1 Victor Reinz head gasket • Engine Part – Nr.14 Febi Bilstein M50 head bolts • Engine Part – Nr.2 Exhaust manifold gaskets

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e34register@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

• Engine Part – Nr.24 Febi Bilstein valve stem • Engine Part – Nr.24 BMW N52 exhaust studs • 10 Fluids Litres Coolant • 7 Fluids Litres 5W30 fully synthetic engine oil • Engine Parts – Nr. 6 NGK BKR6EKP spark plugs • Engine Part – Nr 1 Aluminium thermostat housing

Now the labour and including external work elements, all with some bullet pointed details.

• Coolant leak - Inspection of the engine to work out where the water was going with no visible leaks • Understand the reason behind the misfire when the engine was cold • Remove the very reluctant spark plug on cylinder three.

Once removed it revealed a very rusty plug with water evident on top of the piston, suspected cracked head • Strip down all relevant ancillary parts, intake manifold, both exhaust manifolds, fuel rail, etc. Remove cylinder head. As suspected, crack between water jacket and combustion chamber • Strip down the cylinder head of all valves and springs, and replace all valve stem seals. Lap in each valve by hand and rebuild the cylinder head. Clean the block mating surface, place head gasket on block then the cylinder head. Finally, tighten down in three stages. • Replace thermostat housing with aluminium version.

Install camshafts and the Vanos unit and timing chains.

Install spark plugs. Install cam cover and exhaust manifolds. • Final fit of dress up parts. Bleed cooling system. Road test. • External work - leaky tyre inspected and fixed.

• Full Inspection II service • External work - Bosch 413 ECU un-immobilised to find fault on the immobilisation issue on the vehicle, which is the EWS2 system used in the latter years of the E34 run as well as the E36. The immobiliser clamped on fuel and spark but when it came to the ECU battery voltage it wiped itself!. Thorough test procedure to narrow down no spark or fuel- EWS immobiliser issue. • ECU removed, taken to EndTuning, brought back, and refitted.

On another note, I went to the NEC Classic Motor Show in November and saw a magnificent E34 M5 for sale at the auction with AC Schnitzer staggered wheels, see pictures. It was nice to be out again.

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to every BMWCC member and a special shout-out for a prosperous 2022 for all the E34s in the UK and around the world.

7 Series Matthew Swanborough

Good day discerning BMW 7 Series owners and enthusiasts. On this, the eve of another year, I wish you good health and success for the year ahead and I hope to meet some of you at car meets during the course of 2022.

This month, I have a fantastic contribution from Howard Walker, a long-time BMW Club member and former director, sharing his love of the 7 Series.

“My first E38 was to be my retirement from cars. It was the year 2000 and we were sitting in a new 3 Series in the retailer at Stockport, when my wife says ‘you can’t swing a cat in here’. Compared to my daily driver, an 3-litre Opel Senator, she was right. She said ‘I want that green one out there.’ So began a two-year love story between me and my E38.

Only once did I stray to buy a 2014 730d. More on that later. Over the next 21 years and 525,000 miles, I bought other 7 Series E38 cars, all superb and economical and great to drive. I also test drove most of the other 7s and 8s and some electric cars. Of them all, the E38 was the best built, best to drive, and most comfortable. My current stable, which I am reducing, has two E39s, a 635CSi, a 728 and a 740i.

The cars that are staying are one of the 5s and both 7s. Two of these are Japanese imports, the 5 and the 740i. I have bought three cars from Japan over the last four years, too, and all have been superb (apart from the 5 which has done 65K miles). My 740 was first viewed in a barn in Wigan covered in farm dust. Not a mark on it and only 6K miles on the clock. It took me all of two seconds to say ‘yes, it’s mine.’ A decision that cost me £13.5k and another £2k in recommissioning costs. Apart from servicing, and a new satellite navigator that works in the UK, that’s all it has cost in its 52,000km that it has now covered. It goes around corners like an M3 and I have driven it in Europe at 155 mph for 12 miles on the autobahn with no problems.

Many people who have owned or just driven these cars say that they are the best cars ever produced by BMW. I would agree.

They have their faults. One of them is that the switch that tells the gearbox which gear it is in often fails, which is possibly why the 728i that I bought two months ago after viewing it online and in the flesh had five owners in the last four years. I did not drive it prior to purchase, and on the way home found it to be hovering between fourth and fifth gear in automatic. When I put it in manual mode, it worked perfectly. So I told BMW to change the switch. They did not believe me, but did it anyway and the gearbox is now perfect. The other problem that I have had on earlier E38s was that the front springs break. After five springs in two years, I complained to BMW customer service, and was told ‘you must expect the odd spring to break after 18 years.’ But

7series@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

not one that had been replaced only 11 months earlier. I could have a new spring if I took the car to BMW and they inspected it and, if found to be faulty, they would replace it. I went for the cheaper option and did it myself. I now use Alpina springs if I need to. They last 300k miles and are much more comfortable to drive on.

I ran three of my 728 cars on LPG with great success, the first one taking me to the Essen car show with two other Club members and back for the cost of £31 in LPG. The last of these expired when two of the spark plugs blew out of the head. My wife cried, as it was her daily driver. I also cried as I had just spent £1100 on a replacement fuel tank. I sold it back to the garage I bought it from 10 years earlier in part exchange for my current E39 525i. It’s too expensive to convert a car to LPG now, so the 740i runs on E5 petrol. Regardless of what BMW says, don’t put E10 in any car with a steel fuel tank. Especially an E38, the tanks rot in this country like no other BMWs’ does. Apart from the odd handbrake release handle breaking, that’s been my great relationship with E38 cars. Will be keeping both until they or I die of old age.

More on my F01 7 Series. The 2014 730d that I bought new with zero miles needed its first set of front disks changing at 70k miles as they were getting a bit thin. They needed changing again at about 70,400, 71,800, 72,840, and lastly at 74k.

I sold the car to my dealership and used the cash to buy my 740i, the best move I ever made apart from marrying my wife. After lots of investigation, I recently discovered why the discs had failed. Up to then the 7 Series cars had brakes with straight bars dividing the two halves of the disks. BMW had experimented with curved separators that sucked air through the disks much more efficiently on M cars, but until this time not on the 7 Series. This modification made the discs handed. If you put them on the wrong side, the first time you used the brakes in a seriously quick stop, or on a really long hill, the brakes heated up and warped the discs. Obviously the guy who was changing my disks was unaware of this. So when I was cruising down the Autobahn on my way to Munich, after the fourth set of discs had been installed, that was the reason why my car swerved across all five lanes of the busy motorway junction. I am lucky to be alive as I was doing 155kph. I sold the car on my return to the UK. So if you have a similar problem, then you know why.”

8 Series Debbie Blythe

Hi everyone. As this edition reaches you in January, I would just like to say I hope you all had an enjoyable Christmas and to wish you a Happy New Year. By now I expect you are fed up with turkey or tofu and have started moving all those crumpled clothes off the treadmill you purchased during lockdown so you can start your new fitness regime again. I am still waiting for Father Christmas to bring mine, I am sure I put the right address on my letter… Santa at the South Pole, right?

Anyway, we are now in 2022 and hopefully have a full calendar of events planned during the year, please see below. We may also have another WOTG Sunday meet in either February or March so please keep a lookout on the club website, your emails and also any social media you are linked into.

As there is not much going on over the winter, I will have space in the column for anything you would like to send me, including a Car of the Month. All I need is a few good quality photos and some text, anything from just 100 words up to 500 would be good, so get writing.

There is a list of possible events and dates in the future events section below, please come back to me if you might be interested in any or if you have some suggestions yourselves, my email is 8series@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

Weston on the Green (WOTG) – 24th October 2021

Our last organised event of 2021 saw a meeting at our regular venue, The Chequers Inn, Weston on the Green on a fairly cold Sunday morning in October. Paul and I arrived early at 9.30 to open up the car park and put up the club flag. Shortly afterwards our other E31 owners started arriving. We had a really good turnout of 8 Series again, with 13 E31s and a new G15 850i braving the chilly morning. So a quick name check to thank them all: Gary Jackson, Anton Herbig, Alison and Eugene Finch, Chris and Debbie Goddard, Geoffrey Snushall, Keith and Lee Marsh, Paul Teall, Reggie Corputz, Les Irving and Maggie, Phil Star, Gary and Lynn Webb and Karl and Shirley Pattison. A couple of other members also turned up in their 6 Series, one classic 635i (Jeff and Hilary Leeks) and a modern M6 (Chad Nawalage). The rest of the morning went by fairly quickly with lots of chat between owners; some technical, some not so. We even had a person who was driving by the pub car park in his X5 stop and come in when he saw us as he has always been interested in owning an

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E31 so was looking for advice on what to look out for and current prices. I passed him my card, hoping that he may become a club member and join us at future events. At midday the majority of the attendees retired to the pub’s heated marquee for a very enjoyable Sunday roast. If you are interested in joining us at a future event there are some dates below for meetings there next year.

Future Events

This list is just some of the events we hope to organise or attend during 2022, please feel free to email with any suggestions you may have, no matter where, we are always up for a trip. Any excuse to get behind the wheel of the 8.

10th April - The Ultimate BMW Meet at British Motor

Museum, Gaydon. If you want a place on our E31 stand then email me your car and reg. number ASAP so I can reserve a place

Alpina Simon Alcorn

with the organisers. Tickets will be £10 each and available direct from the British Motor Museum website soon.

Late April / Early May – How about a road trip? A few of the group have shown interest in the NC500 (North Coast 500 – Scotland). I am looking into this and hope to have some plans soon, but looking at a 4 to 5 day trip starting near Glasgow, up to Inverness and then back to Ullapool, across to Skye and back to Glasgow. This is provisional and may change. Let me know if you are interested as I may need to limit numbers due to available hotel space.

May – South East event – to be confirmed. 12th June – Sunday morning meeting at The Chequers Inn, Weston on the Green, near Bicester. 2nd July – Lichfield Cars in the Park. 3rd July – Possible Caffeine and Machine visit, to be confirmed. 7th August – BMW Car Club national event at Donington Park. 21st August – Sunday morning meeting at The Chequers Inn, Weston on the Green, near Bicester.

September – Simply BMW at Beaulieu Motor Museum, date to be confirmed. 23rd October – Sunday morning meeting at The Chequers Inn, Weston on the Green, near Bicester.

Also, if you are not on my mailing list and wish to be please email me with your name, car details and location to 8series@ bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

alpina@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

Words by Norman Burnham

Many of us will now have our vehicles off the road, tucked up in the garage and on the trickle charger for the winter. However, some brave souls may well need theirs as the everyday driver, perhaps with winter tyres fitted.

Let’s hope for a more positive outlook for 2022 with more events and the reduction of the dreaded Covid virus and the restriction placed on us all.

The first is an important announcement for Alpina owners, after some gentle pressure, demand and co-operation I am pleased to announce there will be an owner meeting at Sytner Alpina GB in Nottingham on Sunday 24th April 2022. Many thanks to Gary Lott, the Alpina brand manager, for his efforts in this respect.

However, space is limited and there may be the need to restrict numbers. When we have the details of how to apply it will be published. This event has not been held for at least three or four years and is always special to bring together Alpina owners from all over the UK. 29th May 2022 – The French Date. This is a car show for all BMW models, but we were approached two years ago and the organisers invited Alpina owners from the UK. Sadly, it didn’t happen due to restrictions. More information and how to

obtain tickets see www.bmw.frenchdate.com 23-26 June 2022 – Goodwood Festival of Speed. We await confirmation as to whether Alpina will display again, but this super three-day event is well worth the effort if you have not been before. We normally arrive at 6:30 and get in for a nice early breakfast in the Porsche Restaurant. 26-28 August 2022 – The Classic at Silverstone. This is over the August Bank Holiday and clashes with Car Fest South at Laverstoke Park. In 2021, several of us did both and we shall have to decide how we manage this date for 2022. Again, we will try to get as much early notice as possible.

Other events with dates and details to be announced, please look in this section for details.

Wishing all Club members the very best for 2022 and for your continued support.

E9 Nick Hull

I was saddened to learn of the passing of Denis Fernando, who was part of the BMW Car Club Racing scene in the mid to late 1980s. Denis had converted a LHD CSi into a replica CSL and raced successfully until ill health in the 1990s put paid to his exploits on the track. Last month his son, Danny Valentine Fernando-Trick, contacted me to announce that Denis had passed away in March 2020. Due to Covid, the family only recently held a memorial service at Beddington Park in Surrey, which would have marked his 70th birthday. I am sure there are several members who remember his car, seen here in its heyday. Sadly the car was broken for spares some years ago, but what a magnificent beast it was.

i8 Clive Neville

Most of my writings for the Straight Six Register section try to give advice or statistics on matters relating to i8s, but occasionally they relate to experiences I have had that might be useful for others to hear about. The last one was the saga of leaving our Z4 without a charged battery and being unable to get into the boot, or at least not easily, to replace the battery. Today’s story is titled, The Parable of the Garage Queen. We all know about these treasured vehicles that never go out. Indeed, you might have one stuck away right now. Read on.

This is a true story, unfortunately for me. I am a proud owner of such a garage queen. It is in perfect condition and, over its 25 years on the planet, it has had two owners and has travelled 13,000 miles. I bought it in 2005 when it had 7,000 miles on the clock. I swapped my S54 Z3MC for it directly. I thought it would be the better bet as a long term ownership prospect as it was (is) much better built and designed than the Zed. Heretical I know, but it’s true I’m afraid. Plus the reliability prognosis of this replacement car was off the chart. This was largely contrary to the S54 at the time, which I knew would have to be warranted for evermore if I wasn’t to face a potentially big engine bill.

Fifteen years and loads of oil and belt changes later (the oil is so clean you can’t see it on the stick), our pride and joy occasionally takes us on entertaining jaunts out into the countryside. What a car I always say to myself. I think many of us say that about pre-Millennium cars, where there was technology but also a real analogue feel. I felt no different the last time I used it in August 2021 when we went to Caffeine and

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2022 sees the 50th anniversary of the launch of the 3.0 CSL in the UK. Back then, BMW GB organised a novel drive back event for British dealers in October 1972. Dealers gathered at a hotel outside Munich to have the opportunity to drive their dealer demonstrator CSLs back to Dover, where they were given a final PDI at BMW UK’s new import centre in the town. Organising a recreation of the event might be a bit too ambitious now, with uncertainties over travel restrictions looking like they may extend long into this year, but we should certainly look for an opportunity to celebrate this anniversary of the CSL City Pack cars next summer at Silverstone Classic or BMW Sommerfest, as part of the Club’s 70th anniversary events.

Finally, there are not many decent models of the E9 available but Minichamps have released new ones recently. The first is a 1:43 scale model finished in silver of the 2800CS offered at £59.99, the second is for pre-orders for a 1:18 scale 3.0 CSL in orange or yellow, listed at £124.99. These models are made in small batches, the first sold out quite quickly last year. So it’s worth getting an order in early if you’re interested. We might have just missed the chance for a Christmas present but you could treat yourself to a New Year’s reward instead. Both are available from Diecast Legends www. diecastlegends.com.

i8register@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

Machine in Warwickshire. Most of the assembled throng at the cafe also seemed to think so, with many saying that “it’s the best car here.” It even was featured on a vlog later that day, or so I am reliably informed. It was certainly filmed.

Having enjoyed the day, we arrived back home having exercised the car reasonably but certainly not over enthusiastically, most of the time not venturing more than half way up the rev counter. Despite this care and attention, we stopped on the drive to an ominous clanking emanating from the engine bay. It was truly horrible. I stopped the engine, thought about it and then after a further minute or so, fired it up again to ensure that I wasn’t hearing things and to record it on the phone. No. Unfortunately, the mayhem was still very much in evidence. We had a big problem. Parked up, I drained the oil and had it analysed. There was nothing obviously harmful in the oil. I also tested the compression on all of the cylinders. These were all well within tolerance. This was slightly encouraging, as was the next time I started the engine, at least to start with. I had to do this to try and locate more specifically the source of the noise. It started perfectly and ran quietly for 15 seconds before the noise started. Almost imperceptibly at first and then louder until after two minutes I had had enough of hearing and recording it. It was definitely a big end. A big end that had failed on an engine that had done very few miles and that had never been abused and which had had frequent changes of Mobil 1. And, it had clearly failed quite catastrophically - in that the oil analysis hadn’t shown any wear elements in it. And, on an engine that is perceived to

be bulletproof. And, as renowned as any M engine.

So, obviously, the message behind The Parable of the Garage Queen is use it or lose it. Closer engagement with relevant experts (rather than internet fanboys) revealed that, while very uncommon, this is not unknown on this engine. It’s all to do with condensation forming between the bearing shell and the crank journal surface and it embedding when the engine is sat idle for long periods of time. It has nothing to do with the fact that it might be humid in the garage. My garage is as dry as a bone. It’s about leaving the engine alone for too long. And, our engine cried enough after 25 years of effectively not being used. You never know, but your cherished performance BMW might also be a time bomb ready to explode…

As with all things semi-exotic, this isn’t going to be cheap to rectify, especially with a new crank likely to be needed. Well into five figures and then add VAT. Luckily, the car has some inherent value, and thus fortunately or unfortunately, it needs to

M Power Anthony Shilson

It’s going to be a brief update for January due to work and family commitments.

It’s the 50th anniversary of M this year, and as some of you will already know, BMW plan on reintroducing the heritage Motorsport roundel, as well as some of the iconic M colours of the past. Hopefully we will also see the return of some CSL variants. I hope BMW can shed 200kg of unnecessary tech and improve the steering feel of its M cars for the CSL models.

The Motorsport roundel will be optional on all M cars built as 2022 model year vehicles, but sadly will also be available for the marketing, sorry, M Sport models too; enabling BMW to milk the old logo for all its worth. The iconic M colours we will see again include Dakar Yellow, Imola Red, Fire Orange and Daytona Violet.

The Club sent out an email on 24th November about celebrating both 70 years of BMW and 50 years of M and The Classic at Silverstone in August. I’ve been told by a few members that have been about, what a great weekend The Classic is and I hope to see for myself next year. Having attended the Classic Motor Show at the NEC back in November and seeing what an excellent display the Club office had put on (probably the best car club stand there), I’m very much looking forward to learn of the plans for Silverstone.

For those that follow MotoGP, BMW provides M Safety Cars for all three bike classes and has done so for a number of years, since 1999 I believe. New M3 and M4 versions below. be done and done properly, retaining the original engine of the car so that it can retain its matching numbers. Chucking in a manky second-hand motor (if one was available) would be pure sacrilege even if it would be a lot cheaper.

And, this is the second part of the Parable. Before you buy a car, ensure you know who is going to look after it. By and large, BMW owners are lucky in that there is good parts supply and a wide range of dealerships and independents who have the capability and knowledge to undertake full engine rebuilds. You have a choice. With this particular car, the manufacturer and its network no longer recognises it and, when they do, they recoil in horror, while the number of independents who are judged to be fully competent in the UK is limited to a couple of, maybe three, digits. So, think about this saga when you next park up your garage queen for the five months over the winter. It might be more expensive than you think.

essex@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

It also donates a car for an annual award. MotoGP rider and 2021 champion, Fabio Quartararo, received an M5 CS for being the fastest qualifier over the season for the second year running. Here he is with his prize.

And that’s it for this month.

Do you have anything interesting to contribute to this section? Please email me your own M Power mods, fixes, tips or stories to essex@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

Images: BMW M

Modified Borislava Pepelyashka - @bobby_shark_attack modified@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

Happy new year dear friends. May the New Year bless you with health, wealth and happiness. I wish you a breakdown-free year full of many happy miles in your beloved motors.

I’m here to show you some cool modified projects, great photos and tell stories about car shows and meets, but before this let me introduce myself.

My name is Bobby, I’m a 34-years-young petrol head girl and classic BMWs are my biggest passion.

I currently own two E28s and an E39.

My first E28 I bought in 2010. A friend of a friend had to urgently sell it, needing the money to pay for his stables’ rent. It was a case of sell it by the end of the day or scrap it. I couldn’t afford it at the time, but I badly needed to save this car. I’d seen it once years before and knew nothing about it. I met the seller at the hippodrome the same evening and literally dragged the car out of the turf. Surprisingly, it started and I drove it home even though it was not running smoothly at all. It’s a 1983 car with the M30B28 engine and a Hartge exhaust manifold. The original paint is Baltic Blue, but it’s been resprayed in Royal Blue, and has Recaro seats, an electric sunroof, M Tech 1 steering wheel and a spoiler. I was in love.

I knew it needed some work but didn’t expect a Fred Flintstone-type of floor. I stripped the car the day after and paid someone to do some welding for me. He did such a bad job, which disappointed me so much I could not trust anyone else to work on my car ever again. I ended up buying a mig welder and taught myself welding during the next few summers in my garage. I welded the floors, changed the sills, found a donor and replaced the headlight panel, the battery bottom plate and the rear panel.

Life got tough and the project has frozen, but it will be completed one day as a memory of my beloved grandmother who helped me get my dream car. The idea of a Hartge replica is still stuck in mind and most likely will be implemented one day. Until then, I will continue to collect parts and get ready.

In 2013 I was looking to get a new daily. I was driving a Mk3 Golf Wagon, but I crashed it trying to drift in the winter. Honestly, this was the happiest day ever since I hated this car. It was about time I got a RWD car. A friend mentioned an E28 for sale and said it will be displayed at the national BMW show. A couple of weeks after the show I was on a 150-mile journey to get it. It was a 1987 M20B20, Alpine white, cut springs, E34 seats and just a few patches of rust. I’ve changed the sills, un-slammed it, resprayed what needed a new paint and we lived happily ever after. As a daily-driven motor this car has never let me down, never broken down and the more I drive it the happier I am.

I imported it into the UK last summer and, as you could imagine, it was not an easy task for a foreigner to do a restoration in the middle of lockdown in a new country. I rented a bay in an operating workshop in Harrow and set a timeframe of six weeks. I was only meant to fix some underbody rot, but it went out of control… With interior and engine out, and the budget thrown out of the window, I managed to respray half of the car including the engine bay. I replaced all the leaking gaskets and oil rings, installed new suspension, a new clutch etc. and yet there is still a massive to-do list.

Oh... I totally forgot to mention this is a rat style car - there is a story behind this decision but I will leave it for another time.

As for the E39, as a modern classic this has served me well. Treating the M54 with an engine rebuild this year was a wise decision. Despite the complexity of its double-Vanos and unquenchable thirst for unleaded, it’s quiet and sits comfortably at motorway speeds.

In summary, I would like to say that old BMWs are incredible and if you ever wanted to have one, go for it, you will not regret the experience.

Z3 Register Alan Jones

z3register@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

Welcome to the January edition of Straight Six. I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year’s celebrations and hopefully this year we can get back to a normal car show season. If you remember last month I was half way through the replacement of both the sills on my car. I hope that I didn’t worry you, especially over the Christmas period, but I can confirm that, like most good stories, it does have a happy ending.

Last month I left you with the sills getting sprayed. I went round to ask for a quote on a Wednesday afternoon, and although I hadn’t used this shop before, I have been passed it a few times. There are always high end expensive cars being repaired there, so I thought he must be at least okay considering the caliber of machinery he worked on. He said that he could do them immediately if I brought them round, so as it was only five minutes from my home, I took them round straight away. Then, on Friday morning, he called me and said that they were done as he was able to do them in-between his other work. With the speed and the standard of his work, to say I was pleased would be an understatement. He doesn’t have a website but it is called the Houghton Body Shop, tel. 01915 849599.

Meanwhile I had washed the inner wheel arches and replaced all of the U nuts on them as they were all very rusty. I also replaced the small broken white plastic fixings which were damaged on removal of the plastic inner sill. I also decided to buy some small plastic bags to put the removed bolts into and mark the bags as to where the bolts had come from on the car. This made reattaching the various parts much easier as all I needed to do was to have the correct bag of bolts with me for the part I was refitting.

So I started by putting on the newly painted sill and taking great care not to scratch or mark it in any way. I also purchased new bolts to attach the sill from my local dealer as well, so there would be no rusty bolts on the underside of the car. Once the sill was attached, by overcoming the awkward bolts in the rear wheel arch (see last month), the next step is the front wing, which you need to attach now while you still have access to all of the fixing bolts. Also, you need to make sure that the wing is lined up correctly so you have good shut lines with the other panels. Once you are happy with the fitment of the front wing, the inner wheel arches can be installed. As before, on the removal of the inner wheel arches, I jacked the car up and then placed axle stands on the jacking points so both wheels on the same side were off the ground at the same time. This allowed access to replace the plastic liners. This job is a little tricky, you need to get the inner wheel arch liners in the correct place so that the bolt holes line up with the fixing holes. But with a little patience and determination all the bolts went into their correct locations. The final job is to install the plastic trim that sits on top of the sill covering the securing bolts. This is just a matter of pushing the small plastic fixings into the corresponding holes and it just clips into place. There’s also a plastic bolt just to make sure it stays securely in place. Then it is just a case of taking the axle stands out, lowering the car to the ground and admiring the rust free paintwork. Oh, I nearly forgot, I have to do it all again on the other side!

Concours Dan Wood

concours@bmwcarclubgb.co.uk

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