JUNE 2022 • Vol. 27 • No. 06 (ISSN 2564-1948)
Is Procrastination Good Or Bad, And Should You Trust A Procrastinator? - Yoram Solomon,
Founder, Innovation Culture Institute™ LLC
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Your Checklist To Be The CEO Of Your Dreams
Motivation Advantage – Master The Four Magic Motivation Questions
Stage Time University.com
Growth Advantage LLC
Personal Excellence presented by HR.com - Darren LaCroix,
June 2022Lisser, 1 - Bob
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Five Powerful Methods That Make You More Assertive - Christine Macdonald, The Hub Events
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3 Ways To Regain Control Of Your Mind Through Thought Submit Your- Gaganpreet Articles Luthra, Flyhomes
INDEX
Personal Excellence JUNE 2022
Vol.27
No.06
(ISSN 2564-1948)
07
Is Procrastination Good Or Bad, And Should You Trust A Procrastinator?
On the Cover
How to decide whether to procrastinate or not
- Yoram Solomon,
Founder, Innovation Culture Institute™ LLC
Articles 13 The Powerful Power Naps Paying someone to “sleep on the job” is not a bad idea
- Tracy LaLonde, Founder and Managing Partner,
Xaphes
20 Take Actions Now That Will Make You Happy Later A letter to myself
- Jim Stovall, President, Narrative Television Network 26 Public Speaking In The Trenches: Two Inevitable New Realities - Ken Lizotte, Chief Imaginative Officer, emerson consulting group, inc.
31 Top Mistakes Made By Remote Workers Set a boundary between your workspace and your relaxing space
- Mike Yeomans, Senior Digital Strategist, BlueJeans
33 I Didn't Choose HR, HR Chose Me How I stumbled into my life's calling
- Brittany McCollum, Owner, Black In Business
Top Picks
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INDEX
Your Checklist To Be The CEO Of Your Dreams The bare-bones essentials - Darren LaCroix, Founder, Stage Time University.com
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Motivation Advantage – Master The Four Magic Motivation Questions Building a motivation advantage with your entire team
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- Bob Lisser, Founder, President, Growth Advantage
Five Powerful Methods That Make You More Assertive There is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive - Christine Macdonald, Founder, The Hub Events
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3 Ways To Regain Control Of Your Mind Through Thought Your thoughts forge your voice - Gaganpreet Luthra, General Manager of India Operations, Flyhomes
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The June issue of Personal Excellence includes expert articles that focus on ways to improve one’s personal and professional growth and wellness. We typically think of the word, procrastination negatively and associate it with laziness, being disorganized, and not being strategic. But did you know that there are positive aspects to procrastination? Yoram Solomon’s article, Is Procrastination Good Or Bad, And Should You Trust A Procrastinator? talks about the positive and negative sides of procrastination. What would be essential to making a new dream come true? How about a checklist? Darren LaCroix in his article, Your Checklist To Be The CEO Of Your Dreams, puts forth the bare-bones essentials.
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Not everyone is self-motivated. Most people need some form of external motivation. Bob Lisser’s article, Motivation Advantage –Master The Four Magic Motivation Questions
shares valuable insights into building a motivation advantage with your entire team. It’s not always easy to be yourself in meetings. There is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. Christine Macdonald’s article, Five Powerful Methods That Make You More Assertive highlights 4 signs that indicate you are not being assertive enough during meetings. Interested in learning about three mindful habits that can help you regain control of your racing mind? Gaganpreet Luthra’s article, 3 Ways To Regain Control Of Your Mind Through Thought should be on your reading list. So, are you ready to maximize your potential both personally and professionally? We hope our articles can help serve as your guide while you’re building your roadmap to selfimprovement and growth. Do not forget to get back to us with your valuable feedback on our articles. Happy Reading!
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(ISSN 2564-1948)
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COVER ARTICLE
Is Procrastination Good Or Bad, And Should You Trust A Procrastinator? How to decide whether to procrastinate or not By Yoram Solomon, Ph.D., Innovation Culture Institute™ LLC
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very famous preacher was procrastinating until the last minute on writing a very public speech he was to give. He went on stage without having the entire speech completed. He was a procrastinator. Then, on stage, at the last minute, he added four more words to it and decided to start his speech with the words: “I have a dream...” What do you think when you hear the word “procrastination?” Is that a positive or negative word to you? We typically think of the
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word negatively and associate it with laziness, being disorganized, and not being strategic. But did you know that there are positive aspects to procrastination? This article will first show both the negative and positive aspects of procrastination. It will also give you some advice as to how to decide whether to procrastinate or not. But the most important part is showing you how to determine whether you should trust a procrastinator or not and whether you should be trusted
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based on your procrastination profile.
The Bad Side of Procrastination ● You may find out at the last minute that you need more information, but it will be too late to try and get it, or you will no longer have access to it. ● You may need access to someone to discuss your project, but that person will not be available in the short
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Is Procrastination Good Or Bad, And Should You Trust A Procrastinator?
window before the project deadline. ● The schedule may get pulled in, leaving you with insufficient time to complete it before the deadline. ● You may experience stress as the looming deadline is nearing. That stress could adversely impact your ability to complete the project on time and at a high quality, not to mention the negative impact on your health. ● Life happens. Something unplanned and unexpected could happen that will have a higher priority over the project, and once you shift your attention to it, you will not be able to complete the project on time. ● The longer you wait, the higher the probability that you will forget about the project or the deadline and, as a result, miss it. ● Missing the project due date for any of the reasons above could impose significant and negative consequences on you.
The Good Side of Procrastination
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new developments and new information.
To Procrastinate, or Not to Procrastinate?
● With time, you may come across information that may not have been available early on and is available now. Information you use may be more relevant and timelier.
●● First, ask yourself if you get stressed over looming deadlines. If you are, then don’t procrastinate. Get it over with and avoid the pressure.
● You give information and ideas already in your head more time to incubate. You cannot force old ideas to combine into fresh ones, and you must give them time, and procrastination will give that processing time.
●● Ask yourself whether you have everything you need at the beginning. Do you have all the information you need? Do you fully understand what you must do? Do you have access to the people or resources you need? Will that access stop at some point? Once you map those out, you can decide whether you can procrastinate and how long. Prioritize the tasks that may have time-limited resources and information.
● You have more time to ask more people for their thoughts, and advice, or use more people as sounding boards for what you think your deliverable should be. ● There is always the probability that the project gets canceled. If you do your part early without procrastinating, you may have just wasted your time and effort. ● The schedule may get pushed out, causing your deliverable to become dated, irrelevant, or simply putting undue pressure on you. ● Even without the schedule being pushed out, as time passes, things change. Your ideas and recommendations may become invalidated given
● The more time passes, the more ideas you may come across, which would make sense in the context of the project.
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● On the same token, you may have more time to think of more (and better) alternatives if you must offer a few in your deliverable.
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●● Ask yourself: what is the probability of you having more ideas, finding better alternatives, having more access to more (or new) information, or that having access to ideas, information, or people could improve the quality of your deliverable? If there is a low probability or impact of those things, you might as well not procrastinate. But if there is a high probability or impact, you may want to wait. ●● Ask yourself: what is the probability of something
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Is Procrastination Good Or Bad, And Should You Trust A Procrastinator?
urgent happening, or of you forgetting the deadline? If the probability is high, you might want to start soon and avoid procrastination.
The Best of Both Worlds
As you embark on (or are assigned) a project, map out all the questions above. Get access to all the information and people you need before they are not available to you. But most importantly, make a draft, a prototype, or something that is good enough (albeit not at the highest quality you can deliver). If something happens, you will still have something to show, and something is typically better than nothing. As time passes, you can refine your deliverable with new information, new ideas, new alternatives, incubation, and access to people to run your ideas by. Your final deliverable will be
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better but not in jeopardy because you didn’t do anything about it and missed the deadline.
Should You Trust a Procrastinator?
The quick answer is, “it depends.” You can determine that procrastination is neither good nor bad in an absolute, universal way. It’s not like telling the truth, which is a universal and absolute trustworthy component. Procrastination is a personality trait, and as such, trusting a procrastinator is a relative issue. Different people are simply different in their procrastination tendencies, and it doesn’t make them good or bad. Trustworthiness is contextual, which means that you may trust a procrastinator in certain contexts, but not in others—probably depending on the consequences to you. Finally, trust is also asymmetrical, which
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means that a procrastinator may trust someone who is not a procrastinator. Still, someone who is not a procrastinator may not trust a procrastinator.
Yoram Solomon, Ph.D., MBA, LLB, is the author of The Book of Trust®, host of The Trust Show podcast, founder of the Innovation Culture Institute™ LLC, and facilitator of the Trust Habits™ workshop.
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Top Pick
Your Checklist To Be The CEO Of Your Dreams The bare-bones essentials
By Darren LaCroix, Stage Time University.com
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egrets suck! Well-meaning people have trained our dream right out of us. Who have been the naysayers in your life? You may have had many, but the worst critic can be the one in our own head. You may doubt yourself, thinking, “I’m not good enough,” or “As soon as I…, then I’ll start on my dream.” No! Enough is enough. It’s time. Your time.
essentials. Look at any hero’s success story and you’ll
So, where do you start? What do you need? How about
Don’t just dip your toe in the water, dive all in.
a checklist? Reverse engineer any big goal you’ve ever accomplished and you will find most of these
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find these too. Here is a plan for your next big dream! What would be essential to making a new dream come true? Here are the bare-bones essentials:
[ ] Decide No ridiculous dreams came true without that commitment. As soon as you truly commit, the world
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shifts. Your world shifts. You start doing things that you just thought about before you decided. If you look at a week of your life, would you see evidence of your commitment and decision? Don’t be a hobbyist, be a lobbyist for your dream. Go all in!
Daily is recommended. Enough said.
[ ] New Habits Habits, good or bad affect us more than we would like
[ ] Create a Visual of Your End Goal What does your end goal look like? Having a constant reminder keeps your brain engaged and your subconscious mind working even when you are not. At random times you’ll have random ideas that may just get you to your next breakthrough. What would your end goal look like?
to admit. Practice? Yup, both important, but not nearly as critical as the habit of … (insert your dream here). For your ridiculous dream, there will be a few critical habits you need to create. Find out what they are and commit to yourself.
[ ] Accountability Buddies In addition to committing to yourself, find two accountability buddies. Be careful who you choose.
[ ] Self-Belief What belief do you need to work on? To reach a ridiculous dream we usually need to change our self-identity. How would someone who achieved the dream you have look at themselves? Identify it and find a way to build it. Breakthroughs that you experience along the way will help create a new self-identity. You may not immediately notice when it happens, but people who are close to you will notice your shift. It will be cool to hear.
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[ ] Pray/Meditate. Often
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Your choice alone could make or break your dream. You need to find someone who knows you, you can be vulnerable with, and will call you out on your B.S. all while being encouraging. Not an easy choice. Remember though, you are the CEO of your dream, if they aren’t helping move you forward, find another. Try sitting down with them over coffee or a glass of wine and tell them what you are doing and why. Your why is important to them helping you out during the tough
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times. Come up with a plan that works for both of you on how often you will check-in and how. Who could be your accountability buddies?
and through the blockades on your journey. Make it a goal to gain momentum.
[ ] Letting Go Yes, the song from Disney’s Frozen may come to
[ ] Direction If you are going to put in the effort, wouldn’t it make sense to work in the right direction? The biggest thing that causes doubt is working really hard and making no progress. No progress leads to doubt. What courses could you take that would give you direction? Do your due diligence! There are many people trying to sell people who have big dreams. Don’t overcomplicate it. Also, don’t listen to someone who has zero experience in the area of your dream. Period. They may be successful elsewhere, but seek out people with experience and credibility in the area
mind. In order to make changes, you need to make changes. Make sense? Don’t over-dramatize. Change is a sheep in wolf’s clothing. What are some of the habits that do not serve you, your family, or your dream? They can be time suckers. Who are some of the people who do not deserve to influence your thoughts as much? You don’t have to rid them from your life, but you may consider giving them less ear time. The people around us influence us, whether we like it or not, good or bad.
of your dream.
What else should be on your checklist for your dream?
[ ] Feedback
You? What’s your dream? Are you serious about it?
Here’s a formula called: The Math to Mastery. Effort X (Direction + Feedback) = Mastery. Once you choose a
Use this checklist and start checking! It’s your dream. You are the CEO of your dream. No one else can be.
direction, you must seek out feedback from a mentor, coach, or a guide with experience in that area. You need that voice of experience who has seen much work hard in the wrong direction. You will get off track due to our engrained thoughts, habits, and programming. Like when you take a wrong turn and your GPS says, “recalculating.” No harm, no judgment, just that voice of reason helping your course correct. This is critical because too much effort and time in the wrong direction will lead to doubt. Your guides and mentors will come and go on your journey and they will take different shapes, forms, and length of time
Darren LaCroix, the founder of Stage Time University.com, is the only speaker in the world with a CSP (Certified Speaking Professional), an AS (Accredited Speaker), and a World Champion of Public Speaking. He is the author of the book, 17 Minutes to Your Dream and the co-host of Unforgettable Presentations podcast. Through his live workshops and StageTimeWorkshops. com, he helps good presenters become UNFORGETTABLE.
alongside you. Who will your journey start with? Would you like to comment?
[ ] Momentum Make no mistake, momentum is essential along your dream journey. That is why you need habits. Momentum gets to our next breakthrough. When you have breakthroughs you’ll feel invincible for a while. It will pass. Momentum will get you past, over around
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The Powerful Power Naps Paying someone to “sleep on the job” is not a bad idea
By Tracy LaLonde, Joychiever
I
’m a napper. Since working from home, I regularly “power nap” at least 3 times a week. Turns out I’m not alone. A Better Sleep Council study found that 22% of Americans nap during the workday. But I wonder what will happen to naps once people go back to the office regularly? Will this spell the demise of naps?
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There are profound arguments that employers should celebrate and promote the use of restorative naps. Some Silicon Valley companies embraced this idea long ago and incorporated sleep pods and other nap resources into their workplaces and cultures. Think of it as a way to offer your hard-working team members a restorative respite during the day while they work those long hours.
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Check out the amazing benefits of a 10-30-minute nap.
business. Maybe paying someone to “sleep on the job” isn’t such a bad idea after all.
Naps can:
This article was originally published here.
Improve memory: Sleep allows you to transfer short-term memories into long-term memory banks. A napper can do a mini-download during the day to free space for other short-term memory making during the remainder of the day. Boost mood: Naps can improve emotional regulation so you are less irritable. Spark creativity: A short snooze elevates activity in the brain’s right hemisphere, which manages creativity and insight. Increase energy, alertness, and concentration: An 20-minute nap yields stage 2 sleep to enhance efficiency for the afternoon. These are simply a few benefits of naps, but here is another big one. Your bottom line can improve. All of these benefits can lead to improved productivity, which is the engine that drives performance in your
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Tracy LaLonde is a professional speaker, business development coach, and author of The Joychiever Journey. She has 28 years of experience in professional public speaking and 20 years of experience in the legal industry. After transforming her life and career through her own joy journey, Tracy founded Joychiever to help other overachievers discover their unique path, define their joy, and apply their ambition to achieve a balanced, happy life. Tracy is also the Founder and Managing Partner of Xaphes, an agency that helps lawyers harness their authentic confidence to be effective business developers and public speakers.
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Top Pick
Motivation Advantage – Master The Four Magic Motivation Questions Building a motivation advantage with your entire team
By Bob Lisser, Growth Advantage LLC
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lthough strategy, culture, and planning are critical factors for success, without execution it all becomes a disappointing effort. Motivation is one of the key elements of execution as well as one of the ultimate advantages a company can hold over its competition.
Advantage Principle: Your personal motivation level is a choice.
Personal Motivation
What’s the first motivator? That’s easy: someone’s personal sense of accomplishment; how they want to be viewed along with the things they want to accomplish in life. But even for that, there are different levels for different people. Someone who just wants
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to float by and do the minimal amount is a different management challenge than someone who wants to eventually get a job. Most people need some form of external motivation. This article is about building a Motivation Advantage with your entire team.
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Levels of Personal Motivation
Brass Ring – These individuals are highly selfmotivated. You will know these people when you have them because they’ll be your best producers
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without a lot of nudging. Brass Ringers are the people that may even push you to be a better leader. Remember, your top producers – Brass Ringers – are not lucky; they work harder, are incredibly motivated, and they keep striving to be better. Whether in music, sports, writing, sales or leadership, Brass Ringers put in the disciplined practice and effort to be among the best at what they do. Baseline – Baseliners will typically achieve the basic standards of their job, but without strong leadership they aren’t always consistent and don’t often strive for more. Except for executive management, I’ll take all the Above Baseline producers I can get. Management is key to the direction a Baseline worker’s performance goes. Enhance their motivation and you will enhance their results. SLUG (Seriously Lazy Undisciplined Grown-up) – There are just some people you are not going to motivate, no matter what you do. They avoid hard work and success, plus believe that avoidance is an accomplishment. In my experience, these undisciplined employees are a small percentage of the workforce. But if a company is like a farm, SLUGs are a drain on how much that farm produces. Advantage Principle: Protect Your Crops From SLUGs (Seriously Lazy Undisciplined Grown-ups). The Four Magic Motivation Questions: What – What do you want me to accomplish? Can – Can I do it? Worth – Is it worth doing? Why – Why are you asking me to do it? The Four Magic Motivation Questions are a tool that should be used to gauge and enhance the motivation levels of your team. They are applicable to all employees but are especially beneficial to use with underperforming employees to determine why they are not achieving the requirements of their job. Ask these questions and you can determine if the employee knows WHAT they are supposed to be doing, if they believe they CAN do the job, if
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they believe the job is WORTH doing, and, finally, if they know WHY they are being asked to perform the duties of the job. These questions may look simple, but by asking them you can glean a lot of valuable information. If an employee answers yes to these four questions and they are still not fulfilling the requirements of their job, you may have a SLUG on your hands. If they can’t answer yes to the four questions, then as their leader you should find out why and address the situation.
Question 1: What – What do you want me to do?
Do all your employees know exactly what they are expected to do and accomplish? Do they know the Vital Goals? Do they know the details and their personal aspect of what you are asking them to accomplish? Do they know the Predictive Behaviors and metrics involved? To develop a culture of engagement, you must have clear expectations and effectively communicate those expectations clearly to your team. Communicate so often, you want to gag on the words.
Question 2: Can – Can I do it?
Does everyone on your team believe they are capable of completing the tasks they are expected to accomplish? What I mean by that is, what would my response be if somebody came to me and said, “Hey Bob, if you can complete an Ironman Triathlon in ten hours, I’ll give you $10 million.” Now, I’m a motivated person, and I’d certainly be motivated by the $10 million, but that amount of money wouldn’t matter because I am not physically capable of completing a triathlon at all, let alone in ten hours. To be motivated, your people must believe they have the innate ability to do the job. Well, for some people, certain activities in a company are like that triathlon. Many factors are in play here. They may not have the right natural gifts (either behaviorally, physically, intellectually, or emotionally), the right skills or training, the right tools, or simply don’t have hope that the job can be done. When it comes to completing a triathlon, I would answer no to all.
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Motivation Advantage – Master The Four Magic Motivation Questions
Without hope, motivation dies. With hope, anything can be accomplished. If you don’t have hope that you can accomplish the dream, your lack of it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Business leaders can learn a lot from history’s successful military leaders who are experts in inspiring hope. Napoleon Bonaparte stated, “The only way to lead people is to show them a future; a leader is a dealer in hope.”
educate your team regarding why you want them to do something new, to do something better, or more of something they are already doing. I always focus on the why in my training, and so should you.
Question 3: Worth – Is it worth it?
There are a number of elements to being an effective manager. One critical element to the formula comes down to making sure employees understand the why and being a tenacious nudge. Someone who is willing to persistently draw a worker’s attention to something important and then gently, or sometimes not so gently, prod them toward productivity and success. In physics, inertia means the tendency for objects at rest to remain at rest, and for objects in uniform motion to continue in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force. As a manager, “You’re the outside force!”
It is critical that employees believe what you are asking them to do is worth doing for the company, their department and, yes, especially for themselves. Sometimes the answer to this question is “yes” simply because you’ve given someone a job. Compensation is often underestimated as a motivator. It is, for most people, the primary reason they get out of bed in the morning and go to work. They might answer yes because of incentives. Extrinsic and intrinsic incentives are additive and not an “either-or” proposition. Both should be utilized to maximize motivation. You will get what you reward. Be clear about what you want and reward it. Advantage Principle: Turnover is Expensive, Appreciation Isn’t. Intrinsic motivation involves completing tasks simply for the satisfaction that the task provides. Intrinsic incentives include giving people a sense of purpose with their job, along with other rewarding elements like respect, appreciation, a sense of achievement, and being recognized publicly for their hard work. Extrinsic motivation deals with motivations that are outside of your passions and personal self-esteem. Extrinsic incentives include more tangible incentives like salary increases, benefits, commissions, prizes, time off, and bonuses. These incentives are great motivators. The key is to make sure they are aimed at contributions as they relate to your Vital Goals.
Question 4: Why – Why am I being asked to do it? If your employees do not understand why you are asking them to accomplish specific tasks, you have not done your job as a leader. The why question is critical to motivation. It is imperative that you
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Advantage Principle: It is Critical That Once You Establish a Vital Goal, You Immediately Work to Create Momentum (Progress).
If you go through the entire process in this article and your team members are still not motivated to do what you expect them to do, there need to be consequences. One of those consequences might be termination. At some point, it must be up to the employee, and not the manager [provided the manager has done their job]. Or as Lou Holtz said, “Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.” I’ve had CEOs in my Executive Peer Groups talk about how they finally let an underperforming or disruptive employee (SLUG) go after years or even decades, and how positive the impact was on the company culture. Once a SLUG is terminated, managers seldom ask themselves why they did it, but wonder instead why they did not act sooner.
Bob Lisser is the author of The Growth Advantage: A Business Blueprint For The Ultimate Competitive Edge. Lisser is the Founder and President of the consulting firm, Growth Advantage.
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Take Actions Now That Will Make You Happy Later A letter to myself
By Jim Stovall, Narrative Television Network
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ecently, I heard about people undertaking the exercise of drafting a letter they would send to the person they were as a teenager or young adult. Obviously, the concept of sending a letter to oneself decades in the past is absurd and fanciful, but it makes some powerful points and reveals some deep truths. While we are the same person, the ensuing
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years have hopefully brought us wisdom, experience, perspective, and the elusive element we call maturity. One of the biggest elements I would write about to my teenage self involves priorities. Things that I knew were important, even critical, when I was a teenager, have proven to matter very little, if at all, in the world I live in today. As a teenager, it’s hard to see beyond
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winning the big game, going on the right date, or being considered cool among all of your friends. Today, as I look back on those issues, it’s hard to remember the big game, the dating drama, and trying to be cool—which I gave up on a long time ago. Once I looked beyond my main priorities as a teenager, I had to consider the aspects of life I overlooked at that time that has proven to be critical throughout the ensuing years and up to this very day. As a teenager, I was certain I would be healthy and live forever regardless of what I did. I was an athlete at the time and was convinced that I could abuse my body without long-term consequences. I think about those decisions, or lack of decisions, on cold mornings when I try to get up and get going through the lingering aches and pains of middle age. While it’s fascinating to consider the things I know now that I wish I’d known as a teenager, the real imperative today is to consider what priorities I’m emphasizing now that may not matter in the future. What aspects of life am I overlooking that will make a difference down the road?
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Life is a marathon and not a sprint. We want immediate results regarding things that matter to us, and we want to ignore consequences in areas we believe are insignificant. For better or for worse, the way we do anything is the way we do everything. If you do the right thing next and the next thing right, you will build a great life for yourself and those around you. If you only look at the things that matter to you in the here and now, you are ignoring the inevitable truth that someday you will live in a different time and place. As you go through your day today, take actions now that will make you happy later.
Jim Stovall is the President of Narrative Television Network as well as a published author of many books including The Ultimate Gift. He is also a columnist and motivational speaker.
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Five Powerful Methods That Make You More Assertive There is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive By Christine Macdonald, The Hub Events
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t’s not always easy to be yourself in meetings. There’s something a little bit artificial about them, and it can make an otherwise assertive person feel less confident about speaking up. There is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. Check out 4 signs that indicate you are not being assertive enough during meetings.
1. You feel you can’t disagree with others during the meeting, and that it would be better to have a quiet word outside of the meeting. Try to remember that you’re at the meeting because your input is important. People want you to express your views and make contributions or they wouldn’t have invited you to the meeting. It is possible to disagree politely and constructively. Show you understand and respect what they’ve said. For example, you might say “I’m just checking that I understand, you’re proposing to ….” And then you could say something like “While I understand your idea and reasons, I feel a different approach could be more productive.” 2. You sometimes agree to take on an action point even though you don’t really want to because you feel awkward saying no in front of the whole meeting. Assertiveness is a skill that is learned with practice. Saying no is tricky for a lot of people because many of us really value being seen as helpful and cooperative. It can feel really “wrong” to say no, especially in a relatively public forum of a meeting. If no feels too uncomfortable, try the qualified yes.“Yes, I can take on that action point, but because of my current workload, I’m not going to be able to deliver that for two weeks. Is there anyone else who could get it done sooner?” Our Trainer Shona Ward has some great advice about how to say no without coming across as rude or unhelpful.
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Five Powerful Methods That Make You More Assertive
3. You keep your opinions to yourself especially if you think others are going to disagree with you. Your expertise and opinions are really valuable. Get them out there! If you’re worried that other people are going to shoot you down in flames, take some time before the meeting to anticipate any objections and gather evidence and arguments that will support your point of view. 4. You find it hard to get a word in. If you’ve been a bit shy and retiring at meetings in the past, people may not be expecting to hear from you. Your body language can help people notice you. Sit upright and lean slightly forward with your hands visible on the table. Keep eye contact with people who are speaking. If you feel like you’re not likely to get the floor it might be worth speaking to the person chairing the meeting in advance and telling him/her you’ve got some points you want to make about a particular agenda item. Understanding if you have a problem with assertiveness is just the first step. If you do feel like any of the above applies to you, then here are 5 tips on how to be more assertive at work.
even if it would be an inconvenience for you. That’s because helping others feels good. However, you need to set boundaries. Recognize how much your time is worth and take your own mental health into consideration before taking on added responsibilities. Learn to say no or try to renegotiate responsibilities to times that better suit you.
Practice Makes Perfect
Before every meeting, try to practice what you want to say. Try to find the right words and tone of voice to accurately convey what it is that you want to say. If you come in with a plan, there is far less chance of rambling, which makes your points come across that much clearer. That’s why coming into a meeting and fully understanding what you want to get out of it will do wonders for your confidence.
Say What You Want
Starting sentences with ‘I’ railroads you into making an assertive statement. Say ‘I want’, ‘I feel’, ‘I dislike’ followed by exactly what it is that you want to say. Follow this formula and be honest with yourself about what it is that you really want. That way you will not only appear more assertive but also feel more confident.
Understand Assertiveness
As we said before, there is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertiveness is an interpersonal skill that needs to be learned and nurtured. It’s a healthy mix of being confident and respecting the opinions of others.
Recognize Your Value
The first thing you should do in order to become assertive is to understand your own value. Take a step back and have a period of self-reflection about how you contribute to your workplace and your positive attributes..You should have a realistic understanding of what you can do free of any doubt or overconfidence. Figure out what you are good at and what things you need to improve on and only then will you feel competent and confident to stand up for yourself.
Christine Macdonald is the Founder of The Hub Events. Christine started her career in sales and marketing, moving into learning and development over 15 years ago. She’s got a keen interest in employee engagement, performance management, and learning evaluation.
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Learn to Say No
Saying no can often be daunting, particularly to those who are people-pleasers. It’s often easier to say yes,
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Public Speaking In The Trenches: Two Inevitable New Realities By Ken Lizotte, CMC
F
or two locked-down years, we could no longer network face-to-face, meet with colleagues at work, do lunch or breakfast, meet for coffee, or attend conferences and other events that traditionally brought great speakers our way close-up and personal. Nor could we speakers show up to wow and excite live audiences! But we adapted as we Zoomed, Zoomed, Zoomed. Forget the fact that before Covid hit, most of us had never even heard of Zoom! Now we’re all experts. However, we’re still not entirely back to normal. Given that times have so dramatically changed, HR leaders and professionals have to face a “new inevitable” of public speaking realities in the trenches as regards delivering and experiencing presentations. Read on to learn more about two new speaking realities in particular as reported by veteran public speakers and experts who’ve survived the transition and come to accept the pros as well as the cons.
New Speaking Reality #1: Virtual Speaking’s Not Going Anywhere
Whether via Zoom, Google Meet, Microsoft or some other platform, virtual speaking is not going away. The often-exorbitant costs of travel, hotel, AV, lunch and dinner, gigantic chocolate chip cookies at 3 PM break etc. vs. the simplicity and cost-free virtual format make this “new inevitable” approach a fact of life. If a conference or other team retreat or other gathering can be offered online and still produce roughly the same results, why entertain instead all the
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many costly logistical headaches that we used to take for granted? Why not coordinate your program and attendees from the comfort of everyone’s individual living room or home office? Here’s how Steve Markman, Founder & President, Markman Speaker Management LLC, sees it. Virtual meetings, he insists, are here to stay in one form or another. “First, many companies are only now allowing non-essential business travel to resume which means the opportunity to attend in-person events will be slow to come back,” he explains. “Second, many people are still reluctant to travel even if they have the means due to what they perceive to be a risk of attending in person.” Jay W Vogt, Founder of Peoplesworth, a firm specializing in facilitating organizational retreats and strategic planning processes, adds this: “Others may insist that nothing can ever replace the intangible benefits of face-to-face work. So they take no action at all. Don’t compare a virtual advance with a face-to-face retreat. Compare it with no retreat or planning at all. It’s wildly better than that. So if you’re thinking of doing without your face-to-face retreat, take a second look and schedule a virtual event instead!” In addition, the virtual option appeals to many speakers now despite an initial reluctance or skepticism about how it would work (or not work!). Poet, Author, Speaker and Business Consultant Libby Wager comments that although the physical
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Public Speaking In The Trenches: Two Inevitable New Realities
connection and energy with an audience had her reacting at first with a hearty “No way!”, the pandemic/ lockdown forced her to “look at what I could do, and create some new, innovative ideas.” Also, the expansion of her attendee pool is something she now embraces. “People from all over the world can attend virtually, which of course creates a potential wider audience.” Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, Author, Coach, and Founder of KBK Wealth Connection and a longtime much-in-demand speaker adds: “I find that having to speak virtually has forced me to be more creative in terms of audience interaction. While I miss a live audience, I have managed to engage the audience and teach in a way where results are just as impactful as in person.”
New Speaking Reality #2: Hybrids Are Here to Stay As Well—For Now
Whether due to an emerging new virus or the bad behavior of crazed passengers on air flights of late, a great hesitancy still exists for many of us to travel to an event at all. The risks just seem to outweigh the returns. Yet others really, really want to do just that, travel to a populated event. They have sorely missed the
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interactive camaraderie of get-togethers with real people so they will brave (and potentially suffer) the risks. As a result, enter the “hybrid” format that accommodates both groups at once. While some attendees show up in person just as they used to do, a second group remains in their home base and clicks in online. Note however that this reality includes a postscript: “for now.” That’s because many veteran speakers who have given presentations via this format find it lacking, despite accepting its current necessity. Karen Friedman, Business Communications Expert and author of Shut Up and Say Something (Praeger Press) explains, “Although I see it as a big plus, like any model, there are pros and cons. When training and coaching, for example, the virtual environment has been very effective but as a speaker, being in person allows you to really interact, look in people’s eyes and walk around the room, which is limited in a virtual environment. One problem for many speakers is they don’t yet really know how to leverage a hybrid environment. When speaking, they will have to be taught not to look at the monitor when addressing people in person but they will also have to learn how
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Public Speaking In The Trenches: Two Inevitable New Realities
and when to come back to the camera to engage the virtual audience. The same is true with breakouts where the tendency is to have one breakout for the in-person attendees and another for those off site. Speakers will need to learn how to combine the two so the room can function as one.” Dave Coffaro, Principal of Strategic Advisory Consulting Group and author of Leading from Zero (SACG Publishing) adds, “Hybrid will be more of a step sideways as a temporary solution for as long as travel remains restrictive. But I don’t think hybrids will last forever in part because the economics aren’t necessarily favorable for the program sponsors. Baseline fixed costs of a large virtual event raise the overall event expense ratio, so event organizers will likely choose one path or another in the long run.” Rob Salafia, author of Leading From Your Best Self (McGraw-Hill), explains: “Being live on-stage or on-line are different mediums. One is not better than the other. As speakers we always need to adapt to the environment and seek to establish an authentic connection with our audience. Think of it like this, if you were an actor on stage, you would engage with your fellow actors directly. If you get a job acting on TV or Film, you need to learn to establish the same connection when delivering your lines directly to the camera.” Pamela S Harper, Founding Partner & CEO of Business Advancement Inc., author, professional speaker, and host of Growth Igniters® Radio elaborates: “Through hybrids, speakers can participate in many more events without the downtime of traveling. However, it’s important for a speaker too to have professional lighting, a good background set or green screen, and A/V equipment. The technology for connecting with virtual speakers and participants must also be coordinated with the technology for in-person speakers and participants. Even with the extra coordination, I do see hybrid events staying around in some form for companies and associations. They can reach a much larger audience, as well as appeal to people who wouldn’t be able to travel for days to an event but can attend part of the event.”
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Even two years in, however, there’s still much to learn about optimizing hybrid events. Suzanne Bates CSP and author of All the Leader You Can Be and three other books, all from McGraw-Hill, says: “The truth is no one knows how to do hybrid! The technology needs to evolve, our investment in making it a great experience must improve, and as speakers and experts we need to get better at engaging the audience.” So while virtual speaking is absolutely here to stay, the form they take will likely continue to evolve over time. In light of this, speakers, presenters, and organizers must continue to embrace an attitude of open-mindedness, flexibility, and continuous learning. Though conditions in the trenches of public speaking have somewhat changed, speaking lives on as do hard-working, effective speakers and the audiences who experience and appreciate them.
Ken Lizotte CMC is author of eight books including The Speaker’s Edge (Maven House Press) and The Expert’s Edge (McGraw-Hill). Chief Imaginative Officer (CIO) of emerson consulting group inc. and a popular keynoter, his firm transforms business experts and professional services firms into published thoughtleaders as well as successful public speakers. Learn more at www. thoughtleading.com and sign up for his e-blog “thoughtnotes.”
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3 Ways To Regain Control Of Your Mind Through Thought Your thoughts forge your voice By Gaganpreet Luthra, Flyhomes
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he human mind is wondrous. It is palatial when it is carefully cultivated; the opposite when left untended. The mind likes being busy all the time; it likes to chatter and is designed to run amok. Just this afternoon, my mind was racing through the status of team goals, unmet metrics, pending meetups, and the day’s tasks, all at once. Then, I realized what my mind was up to and got ahold of it. The nature of the human mind is vast and fickle, but that doesn’t mean we can’t control it. Here are 3 mindful habits that can help you regain control of your racing mind, and put your best foot forward.
1. Be Aware of the Inner Chatter
You simultaneously exist in two states, the first being what everyone else can perceive externally, and the second, being what your mind is constantly generating internally. Do you know that the internal dialogue
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you are constantly having in your head influences your actions, reactions, ideas, ideals, and even your behavior? Your mind is constantly assessing, guiding, and judging, so it’s imperative to be vigilant of the internal dialogue you’re having. Ultimately, this inner talk can be your biggest strength or your worst enemy, as it governs much of how you operate in the world.
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What should you really be wary of? Activity: Observe. Consciously observe your inner dialogue for an entire day and try to notice if you are caring towards yourself or only critical of everything ‘you’. You will soon realize that when you are critical or judgmental about yourself, you feel less energetic, seek more external validation, and
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3 Ways To Regain Control Of Your Mind Through Thought
don’t feel courageous to take on anything that seems challenging. On the other hand, when you are caring towards yourself and become your own cheerleader, you naturally feel upbeat and confident. This also extends into the world around you, as you become more forgiving towards others. You might never realize the damage you cause to your own confidence and self-image with negative self-talk, but once you develop that awareness you can replace the ever-present critical buddy with a wise, supportive one.
2. The World Around You is Not Your Competition — It’s Your Extension
More often than not, your mind is conditioned to quickly form opinions or judgements about the people you meet or interact with. There is also a constant validation quest of ‘them’ versus ‘me’, and an inclination to put situations and people under familiar buckets and biases. This tendency to create barriers between yourself and others doesn’t help anyone, and functions as a deterrent to coming together and joining hands. Activity: Ponder. Try to recall how many times you have missed out on touching a life or reaching out to someone because your mind was preoccupied with judging their attire, accent, background, or any such differentiator. The moment your mind engages in judging or comparing, you lose the opportunity to genuinely
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connect with the people – this is a big miss! Judging people or putting them down dilutes purpose. Coming together, on the other hand, and enabling people to bring their best attributes to the fore is what fosters success. Success is only created when you expand yourself into the world around you and extend understanding, empathy, and ultimately, connect with others.
3. Tomorrow is a New Opportunity
My growth path as an individual has provided me with many opportunities to fail, but also to succeed. At times, it was difficult to learn, and it took a lot of practice to not be harsh on myself when I missed the mark. The bloopers – though heartbreaking – became my most able teachers, and I remained a grateful student. When I finally learned to be forgiving towards myself, I gained insight into how to embrace and enable those around me. When you lose or fail, you feel dejected and hopelessness takes over. But this is the precise time to remind yourself of the vast opportunities that the universe guarantees. Some of the opportunities you are presented with are for you to seize, and others become life lessons.
mind, start small – for instance, own up to a blunder by writing an apology letter. Once you begin, you will be led to the next step. It’s almost miraculous. Opportunities are notorious for taking the guise of failures. You might not be prepared, but you can always navigate. All it takes is courage and a forwardlooking mind, for every new day is an opportunity.
A Bonus Tip From My Splendid Fails
You might be conditioned to believe that your thoughts don’t really matter unless you act on them, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Your thoughts forge your voice and are constantly creating the blueprint for the actions you take. Ergo, be very mindful. Your mind is an architect – are you enabling it to build a masterpiece?
Gaganpreet Luthra is the General Manager of India Operations at Flyhomes.
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Activity: Focus. Make a list of all the things you can still do when you come across a roadblock. You will be amazed at how much can still be done. If nothing comes to
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Top Mistakes Made By Remote Workers Set a boundary between your workspace and your relaxing space
By Mike Yeomans, BlueJeans
A
fter the Covid-19 pandemic, more people had to become remote workers, a new experience for most. Working from home comes with challenges, and the following are some of the top mistakes made by remote workers:
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Working from bed or couch Lack of alignment Inefficient communication Meeting fatigue Working all the time
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Working from Bed or Couch
When working from home, you need to have a dedicated workspace that is not your bed or couch. Having a workspace allows you to keep your work materials close and in good order. When you work from bed, there’ll always be the temptation to take a nap. You can also feel too comfortable and divert attention to social media instead of working. Be sure to set a boundary between your workspace and your relaxing space.
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Top Mistakes Made By Remote Workers
Lack of Alignment
Lack of team alignment when working from home is a real issue. When people are not meeting physically, it becomes even harder to communicate team goals. When you lack clarity of purpose, you cannot prioritize work. Lack of clarity leads to: ●● Confusion on priorities and where you need to focus your efforts ●● Lack of motivation ●● Difficulty working with your team members.
Inefficient Communication
Communication comprises the words you speak, your tone of voice, and body language. It is difficult for people to pick up on body language, especially on phone calls, and can be limited by video transmission when working remotely. When engaging with teammates remotely, you need to ensure you work extra hard to monitor your tone and words for people to understand you. If you agree or disagree on something, make your voice heard. Do not assume others will tell from your non-verbal cues.
Ensure you do not get into long and winding meetings. The shorter the meetings, the better for all involved. Our attention span, especially video conferencing, starts to fade after some time.
Working All the Time
Working 24/7 is not suitable for your physical, mental, and emotional health. Most remote workers are always online and worry that others will assume they are not working if they are not. Take breaks while working from home. Browse social media during your breaks and have lunch away from your desk to prevent burnout. A short walk outside can also help you feel relaxed.
Mike Yeomans is the Senior Digital Strategist for BlueJeans, where he is responsible for enhancing the customerfacing web/digital experience, ensuring the company is at the forefront of and leveraging the latest technologies and strategies including search engine optimization (SEO) and user experience (UX).
Meeting Fatigue
When you work online, it’s easy to get meeting fatigue. Long back-to-back meetings become monotonous, especially if the rest of the group is in one space and you are at home. It makes you tired and reduces your concentration span.
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I Didn't Choose HR, HR Chose Me How I stumbled into my life's calling
By Brittany McCollum, Black In Business
I
’m a growth advocate with a passion for helping others know what they’re capable of. I equip young adults with tools & resources that empower them to realistically attain the growth of their dreams. I’ve always had a fascination with understanding people, so I obtained a Bachelor’s in Psychology. Contrary to popular belief at the time, I used that background as a backdoor entryway to Human Resources. I believe HR became my calling because of some pretty grossly obscene experiences I had. At work,
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I’ve been sexually harassed by a male boss, mentally harassed by a female boss, threatened and verbally abused by a boss, physically attacked, retaliated against, racially discriminated against, and then some! During these experiences, I always felt alone and cornered. Of course, I’d call on what was thought to be Human Resources, but no one was ever accessible. When they were, I became the problem just for making a fuss about my troubles.
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I Didn't Choose HR, HR Chose Me
Of course, I stayed, because I needed the work. But quite naturally, being mistreated at work can lead to disengagement and feelings of contempt, so I was fired. I was fired a lot… and I mean A LOT. Because I always spoke up. Do I regret it? Absolutely not! It makes the work I do be that much more valid knowing that I stood on exactly the principles I work to foster in workplaces today. My last toxic employment relationship ended 5 years ago. Since then, I’ve used my background to build ground-up HR departments for companies that have never had the function. This niche gives me the chance to set the tone for the way they treat and support their employees. I bumped my head a lot along this journey because I was forced to process experiences that I hadn’t entirely been emotionally and behaviorally equipped to handle. To help navigate this world of disarray, I started a personal growth journey that was centered around developing my emotional and behavioral competence. I read books, took trainings and attended conferences to expand my understanding. After a while, I started to see how your level of emotional intelligence can be used to guide your thinking and behavior. When I added that to my individual determination, I got G.R.O.W.T.H as a result.
Fortunately, for me, my experiences have allowed me to foster a set of personal values that I get to authentically live out in my day-to-day life through my HR profession.. Now, I use Black In Business to guide young professionals into a peaceful, yet confident, state of success by equipping them with essential tools, and fostering developmental competencies and attributes.
Brittany McCollum, SHRM-SCP is the Owner of Black In Business. She is an expert in personal growth and HR effectiveness who has helped dozens of professionals attain their goals by bridging the gap between their vision and performance. As an advisor to company executives, students, and other growing professionals for over 7 years, Brittany McCollum, SHRM-SCP brings an influential approach to individual development & progression through her coaching. Brittany works directly with you to build out your professional growth plan. As long as you’re realistic about where you are, she will make sure that growth meets you there!
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Since then, I’ve continued to intentionally live a pretty peaceful and satisfying lifestyle.
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