9 minute read
Why the words we use matter
In a world where being ‘too politically correct’ is cried on a weekly basis, let’s dive deep into why the words we say are more important than we realise.
The ‘Pyramid of Hate’ was developed by Anti-Defamation League for IT’S A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE® Institute and is used to explain how biased behaviours grow and develop within our communities. The pyramid shows the flow-on effect of normalising things like discriminatory language and biased attitudes. Although behaviours at the bottom of the pyramid might not seem ‘that bad’, as groups and individuals move up the pyramid, the consequences become more and more life-threatening.
The lower levels influence the upper levels of the pyramid. If people and organisations accept or consider the factors in the lower levels to be ‘normal’, the higher levels of the pyramid also become more accepted. Discrimination is built upon the acceptance of behaviours in the lower levels.
Level 1 – Attitudes and biases
This section refers to the beliefs, attitudes and biases that people have
around factors such as race, gender, sexuality, religion or ability and so on. People who express these beliefs and opinions tend to surround themselves with people who strengthen their views and build on the belief that some types of people are not equal.
The reinforcement and acceptance of these views increase the likelihood that they will move up the pyramid.
Level 2 – Acting on attitude
Jokes and comments made by people relating to race, gender, sexuality, ability or age and so on. are often just laughed off by others. But, if we continue to voice prejudiced beliefs out loud, we reinforce that certain groups of people are not equal and differences are something to be laughed at.
Acceptance of jokes or comments can continue to push people up the pyramid as they begin to dehumanise groups of people they have built a negative belief toward. This increases the probability that life-threatening consequences could occur as a result of those discriminatory beliefs.
Below are real-life examples of discriminatory jokes and words. See how many you have heard in the workplace or your personal life.
• “That’s a bit gay.”
• “They did a bit of a Māori job.”
• “Stop being such a girl.”
• “That’s a bit retarded.”
Chances are that now you have been made aware of them, you will start to hear them all the time!
Level 3 – Physical expression
This is where we can visually see the impact of negative stereotypes, prejudice and bias in action. Before this level, we could not see the harsh impact of biased attitudes very easily.
People who have moved this far up the pyramid feel a powerful sense of entitlement, and believe it is within their right and power to physically hurt another person based on gender, ethnicity, sexuality, age or ability.
Level 4 – Genocide/murder/ suicide
People who have moved this far up the pyramid deliberately commit acts of genocide or murder against an individual or group.
Alternatively, individuals commit suicide as a result of the hate they have received by others due to their gender, sexuality, race, religion, ability or age.
Why should we stop before the pyramid?
The one thing that we can all do to contribute to the reduction of hate crimes is to make it unacceptable even to enter the pyramid at the base layer. By understanding our own biases and calling out the prejudices of others, we will create a societal culture shift that does not consider these views and beliefs as normal.
A great place to start is not laughing at or sharing racist, sexist and other discriminatory jokes. By laughing at these jokes, we continue to normalise that it’s okay to laugh at people’s differences. If we don’t want people in our communities to move up the pyramid, we need to call out discriminatory behaviour and statements.
We can start this in our workplaces. Workplaces are in a unique position to build a culture of zero tolerance to discriminatory language, which will then flow into employees' homes and our communities.
Just as we have created a culture around wellness and health and safety, we can create a culture of zero tolerance to discriminatory jokes and language. We can educate our staff and build team cultures where it is appropriate to challenge biased opinions and where it is normal to call out discriminatory language.
The main thing to remember about changing the language we use is that it's not about us – it's about the people affected by the language we are using. Changing the words we use daily might take a little bit of effort, but actually, it doesn't have a massive impact on us as a person.
However, it is a BIG deal to the people who benefit from the changes in the language that you have made. It makes a world of difference to them. It is tiny things that by themselves may seem irrelevant, or that may be considered being ‘too PC’, that actually matter.
How to stop before the pyramid?
Step 1 – Be mindful of your language
The best place to start is with yourself.
Becoming actively aware of what you say is important to making a personal
change. If there is a particular word that you know you often use, start with that one. You may miss it occasionally, but if you hear yourself say the word then notice what you just said immediately, that is the first win. The next time you say it, you will see it straight away. Before long, your brain will kick in and notice the word in your head BEFORE you say it out loud. Success!
Finding an accountability partner can also help. Try asking a friend or a partner to help tell you when you use that word. Or, if you feel a bit weird asking a friend, you can always ask us. Send us a Facebook message or email, and we are more than happy to help you out and keep you accountable!
Step 2 – Listen to other people's language
This step may be easier because, once you get in the habit of listening for words that you use yourself, you will automatically hear others use the words you have stopped using.
Once you start noticing other people's words, you cannot turn it off in your brain! So a warning, if you want to never notice racist or sexist language that other people say, do not start doing this, because trust us, you can’t NOT notice once you start. You will never get it out of your head.
Step 3 – Call others out
This is the hardest step. It is so hard to call others out, especially if they are your friend or someone in a position above you at work.
It won’t always be appropriate, and sometimes you will have to use your judgement. It always helps to start with a stranger, because you won’t care as much about what they think or if you offend them or make them uncomfortable! It's a great place to practise.
It doesn't have to be a huge deal or drama either; it can just be a casual comment that you make to let them know you didn't appreciate what they just said. Here are some suggestions:
"Hey, that wasn't a great word to use."
"Not sure I agree with that!""I'd say ‘x’ instead of that.""What do you mean by that?"
Just one small sentence like this can be enough. You don't have to start a debate or explain it any further (unless you want to). It can be that simple.
Someone else in the conversation or group probably didn't like the word either, but might have felt too scared to say something – you have shown them that it is okay to say something. The person you called out will hopefully stop using that word or at least will think twice the next time they say it.
A few courageous words can make a world of difference, even if it does turn out to be awkward at the time. Ninety-nine per cent of the time the person wouldn’t have realised the impact of what they had said and wouldn’t have said it maliciously. It is more likely that the word is so ingrained they use it all the time, so wouldn't have even thought about the impact.
Step 4 – Get everyone else involved The amount of time we spend in our workplaces is huge. It should be a place where we all feel respected and secure. Creating a workplace that genuinely values the diversity of all staff is essential.
Developing workplaces where employees are aware of the language they use, how it affects others, and who are encouraged to speak up when they hear discriminatory language is the only real way to create a sustainable culture that accepts and values everyone.
When discriminatory language occurs, it is often seen as workplace banter and just a bit of fun. But if it leaves an employee feeling bad about themselves, then this is a real issue. The person who said the statement probably isn’t even aware of the effect of their statement or action, but the offended employee feels the negative impact.
It needs to be addressed before feelings begin to fester, which could result in a reduction in that employee’s productivity and reduced commitment to an organisation where they don’t feel accepted.
Healthy workplaces are built by employees who feel comfortable speaking up and expressing their concerns. If your employees remain silent, the discriminatory language will continue to be present in your workplace, and, by not addressing it, you are in turn accepting it as part of your workplace culture.
When language is called out, it creates awareness between employees about the emotional and social impact it has on another person. If someone responds to a subtle discriminatory comment by saying “I know you probably didn’t mean it this way, but when you said...it made me feel…”, then this can open up a dialogue about the comment.
A few seconds of courage to call someone out can allow a meaningful discussion and resolution to occur. In most instances, the person will apologise and certainly rethink similar statements in the future.
Kate Wilkinson and Anna Kirkwood run the Awareness Project, which specialises in workplace diversity, with an ultimate goal of creating a community where discrimination such as racism, sexism, homophobia, ageism and ableism no longer exist. They run regular unconscious bias workshops for businesses and help their clients embrace differences in their employees. Do you want a way for your employees to start talking about inclusion and challenging discrimination? Check out our micro lesson service on our website. Micro lessons provide on-the-go education about diversity and inclusion. A new lesson and poster will appear in your inbox each week to share with your staff. Let’s start those workplace conversations! W: www.theawarenessproject.co.nz
