Coaching: Can It Work For Me?

By Karl van Kessel ‘88 and Sandra Herbst, former Chief Strategic Officer, HTS

Coaching has been described as conveying a valued colleague from where they are to where they want to be. It is a way to position those being coached to perform at incrementally higher levels by transforming the manner in which we talk with one another. At HTS, there is a focus on coaching as an integral part of leadership development. During the 2020-2021 and 2021-2022 school years, two ninepart professional development series were offered to alumni to help them develop their coaching capabilities. What follows is an exchange between Karl van Kessel (‘88) and Sandra Herbst, former HTS Chief Strategic Officer and the facilitator of the coaching training.

Karl van Kessel

Coaching

To: Sandra Herbst

Dear Sandra,

While I have not had the privilege of taking one of your coaching sessions, I have been fortunate to have had some wonderful managers over the years who have coached me and provided me with some great insights on how I can be a good leader. I have done my best to use those insights together with my own experiences to support my staff by coaching them through the challenges they face on the job. It is very important to me that I always take the time to listen to the needs of my staff and I provide them with the information they require to be effective and successful in their role. As a leader and a mentor, I am always looking for ways to collaborate effectively with my staff so that together we can solve problems and I can use my experience and knowledge to offer helpful advice and guidance.

Of course, there are times when I have to do more than just provide advice and guidance, and it is necessary to make it very clear what went wrong and what needs to be done. However, I always strive to communicate my concerns effectively, to review the situation and to be constructive so that we can determine what is required to move forward. Thankfully that doesn’t happen nearly as often as my coaching discussions.

That being said, I am writing to you about a recent situation where I know your expertise in coaching would be very helpful.

For 2–3 months, I noticed that one of the intermediate staff members in my group was struggling to meet his deadlines and maintain a high standard in his deliverables. His difficulties directly affected my ability to deliver because I rely on the information generated by this individual to do my reporting; therefore, I needed the situation resolved. However, I know this person and he is extremely capable and hard-working, so I wondered why he was struggling. I spoke to his manager, who reports directly to me, and found out that this individual just had too much on his plate and wasn’t managing his work effectively. I told his manager to look at the problem as an opportunity for this individual to take on some leadership of his own by delegating some of his work to junior staff and then managing that staff to get the work done on time and to a high standard. He agreed and we moved on.

However, two months later the situation had not changed. I decided to follow up with his manager and make it clear that I expected this situation to be resolved by the end of the month. I have since been reflecting on whether I should have taken responsibility for this situation myself by speaking directly with the staff member, rather than working through his manager. Did I make the right choice?

Regards, Karl

Karl van Kessel

Sandra Herbst

RE: Coaching

To: Sandra Herbst

To: Karl van Kessel

Dear Karl,

It is hard to tell you whether you have made the right choice; however, as I reflect on your question, I find myself returning to four phrases that you used that exemplify the four support functions that we find ourselves taking as leaders. Some even call them the “hats” of leadership. All are necessary and suit differing contexts and outcomes. So, for example, there are times when we need to, through conversation, cause a recalibration (“it is necessary to make it very clear what went wrong and what needs to be done”); other times, we offer advice, counsel and serve, almost, as a consultant (“to offer helpful advice and guidance”). Still other times, we enter the exchange as an equal; we “co-labour” or collaborate (“I am always looking for ways to collaborate effectively with my staff”). In these instances, leaders do not have a predetermined destination or solution; rather, we work collectively to create a pathway or to identify next steps. And finally, even as leaders, we can serve as coaches (“…by coaching them through the challenges they face on the job”).

Too often, we think that we are coaching, when we are actually collaborating or consulting. The coach’s role requires us to use our skills and allow the other person to identify their own next step; it is void of suggestion or advice. As a coach, we focus on helping our valued colleagues to access their own internal resources to amplify their efficacy. To some it might seem counter-intuitive. I am the leader; I have experience and I know what could work in this instance. As I stated earlier, each of the four support functions serves a purpose. And yet, as we scan organizations in all sectors, we recognize the resources being used for the development of highly capable people; employees who are able to think, dream and resolve problems without a perpetual dependency on someone whose position is just a bit higher on the organizational chart.

So, what would happen if we coached just a bit more … and provided advice just a bit less. Might the need for recalibration decrease? Might the collaborative opportunities result in even better outcomes?

Let’s have a coaching conversation and, afterwards, let’s see how you might respond to your question, “Did I make the right choice?”

Regards, Sandra

Transcript from a Google Meet: March 23, 2022.

Sandra: So, you indicated the urgency of this situation and a timeline. You were also thinking about your decision to respect the corporate hierarchy, which led you to go to that person’s manager, rather than going to that person directly. Additionally, the person who is struggling is one with whom you have a personal relationship. And so, you made the decision you thought was best and now you are reflecting on it and wondering if, in fact, it was the best course of action.

So, as you think about the decision you made, what other factors may have contributed to your choice to “fall in line” with the corporate hierarchy, rather than going to that person directly?

Karl: Since we are a smaller group within a larger organization, I was trading off my relationships with both of these staff members. Ultimately, I chose to fall back on the organizational chart to provide me with guidance, rather than perhaps pursuing a personal de- cision, which was a non-corporate decision. Had I done that, I might have undermined the authority of that individual’s manager. So, I chose not to go that way.

Sandra: What you are talking about is a sense of respect for the corporate structure but also the corporate relationship that exists between the staff member and manager. Respect played a huge role in the decision you made. What are some of the aspects of the conversation that you had with the manager that you think might have served your ultimate goal well, both in the short and long terms?

Karl: That conversation also reflects my responsibility to develop and mentor the manager. So, through that conversation, I am providing guidance; not only does the manager recognize the respect that I gave to him, but I also made sure to listen to what he had done and what he was planning to do about the situation.

Sandra: You are talking about alignment not only the kind of alignment that you want between the staff member and his manager, but also the alignment you have with the manager. So, you want to be in a place and space of coherence you “walked the talk.”

As you reflect on that conversation, what might you have had to draw upon in yourself as a leader in order to be in a place of respect and alignment, while, at the same time, hoping for an outcome that would be positive?

Karl: I drew upon the aspects that I have cultivated in myself over the years of growing and developing under good mentorship. I thought: if I were in this individual’s shoes, would I want the most senior individual in my group to come talk to me about my performance, or would I rather have a more productive, and perhaps, more positive discussion with my manager, who is the individual that I have been working with day-to-day on growing and developing? This question takes us back to the idea of respect and putting myself into that person’s shoes.

Sandra: On top of respect and alignment, perhaps another word to offer here is empathy of being in a place of understanding what the other person is experiencing.

Given this experience, what might you consider doing the same, or perhaps differently, if you are faced with a similar situation in the future?

Karl: Things I would do the same: I think that I made the right choice, one that showed empathy and respect, which are important to me.

Things that I would do differently: I think there was an opportunity for me to check in and follow up with the manager earlier, rather than assuming that the situation was improving. So, taking a more active role in the process could have avoided the delays and inefficiencies that waiting has caused.

Sandra: What you are left thinking about is that if you could go back in time, there might have been more frequent and regular touchpoints that could have followed the

Karl van Kessel

RE: Coaching

To: Sandra Herbst

Dear Sandra, initial conversation with the manager. Yet, at the same time, you remain firm and certain that the decision to speak with the manager was the right decision to make.

As we begin to wrap up this conversation, what insights might you be gaining as a result of being able to pause and think about this more deeply?

Karl: I thank you for that question because I had not thought about it from that perspective. The insights come from the opportunity to dissect aspects of my decision-making process that I was not necessarily consciously aware of. These things are entrenched in the ways that I approach things. Often, that can be based on good habits that come from strong learning experiences and continual improvement. But, as I reflect on the motivations, which is really what I hear you asking me to do, it helps me to recognize where there are opportunities for improvement. Perhaps the way that I do things regularly, I haven’t stopped to think as often as I should.

Sandra: So, what you are really talking about is that these few moments have allowed you, perhaps, to make conscious what was a bit unconscious, while illuminating and bringing to the surface some things that you can now be more conscious of.

As we reach the end of this conversation, how might you know that this was time well spent?

Karl: Great question! I realize that this conversation has allowed me to grow, by increasing my awareness of how I make decisions. I don’t think that, as leaders, we take enough time to have these kinds of conversations. We might try to in our mind and on our own; however, that is one-sided and not nearly as illuminating as interacting with someone who pushes you to pause and think.

Sandra: The point you are making is that when you pause to deliberately reflect, there is learning to be gained.

I had to write to thank you for our call and let you know just how much I appreciated your insights. By guiding me through a true coaching session, you have given me the awareness that I needed to understand what it means to “coach.” Since our conversation, I have been reflecting on the questions you asked me, and I recognize that what I thought was “coaching” wasn’t. I have not been coaching my staff.

I have also come to realize that coaching is not limited to how I work with my staff, but that I can use the knowledge and techniques you have taught me in all of my interactions at work, including in the boardroom! Thank you!

Regards,

Karl

Sandra Herbst

RE: Coaching

To: Karl van Kessel

Dear Karl,

I would like to offer one final thought. When we take the role of coaching, rather than of calibrating, consulting or collaborating, we hold and create space for valued colleagues to think and reflect. It is an act of discernment when leaders decide which stance best suits the emerging situation.

At the same time, we want members of our team to grow and increase in their efficacy. This cannot happen when coaching is routinely pushed to the side, because the default of consulting or calibrating seems more efficient or expedient. I know that when I coach what simultaneously results is an increase in the quality of work produced AND capacity developed.

How many leaders see their role as developing the cognitive capital of their colleagues and those whom they serve? Imagine how leadership might be approached if that were, in part, the goal. As you work with people this week, a great place to start is to use your coaching skills to enhance the effectiveness of those in your workplace and, as you say, even the boardroom.

Regards, Sandra