Cornflake knees

“My knees sound like crunchy nut cornflakes” Reg said. Reg was a 1950 model footy tragic with a heart of gold and knees that could wake the dead. Reg was convinced that the sound made whilst walking up his front steps indicated his knees were disintegrating into a cloud of cartilage and bone dust. But his mate Keith had a knee replacement two years ago and still couldn’t sit on the loo without holding on. So he wasn’t too keen on seeing the bone doctor either.

Not only were his cornflake knees loud but they were sore. Really sore. He’d stopped walking with his wife (whose sympathy levels were minimal), stopped his steadily getting smaller. Here are some quick tips I gave Reg:

1. Noise is not necessarily bad. Most of the time its just some dodgy soft tissue or gas bubbles around your knee cap. Occasionally it means your cartilage is a bit worn. It might make you a terrible burglar, but it’s not concerning.

2. Having a knee replacement is sometimes necessary but if you think you’d like to ‘go bionic’ answer these Qs: Have I done 3-6 months of good quality physio + strengthening? Is the pain waking me at night? Is the pain stopping me doing things I want to? Is my x-ray a bit rubbish?

3. Get strong. Mainly thigh and bum muscles. Ride a bike, get 3 exercises from a good physio, join a gym, take some steroids (thats a joke). You don’t have to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger - you just need your muscles to wake up.

Reg is a legend. His knees are still louder than ten teenagers at a Taylor Swift concert but he can walk now. And potter. He shook my hard firmly last time I saw him and said ‘You look a bit like a hippy and your jokes are terrible, but I’m out of the knee pain hole - thankyou’. To start getting out of your painful hole call the fine Brightside folks on 4062 8862 or go on the line to book an appointment www.brightsidephysio.com.au.

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