Huntley HS Voice March 2021

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VOICE

THE

March 2021, Volume 24, Issue 7

what it

feels like

2 • the voice march 2021

Inspired by Esquire Magazine, The Voice brings you an issue filled with passionate and unique stories from individuals within the community.

Despite the differences that have become so prevalent in recent years, we hope by showing these pieces of ourselves we can re-learn acceptance.

I

Presley Blake ... to be an influencer

on them. I know I’m the same person either way, no matter what my sexuality is.

There’s this quotation that I learned a long time ago, that’s kind of about coming out. It’s: “those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.” That’s definitely the mentality that I stick with.

It feels great that everyone can support one another and share their experiences. I’ll make a TikTok about something, and all the comments are talking about a relatable experience that they went through that kind of dealt with TikTok, which is really cool. The LGBT community is such a great community. Everyone has each other’s back, so it’s great to build up that love and support almost like a family.

I’ve gotten some comments or tags in different videos of people saying I’m their favorite lesbian, LGBT, or just creator in general. That’s honestly a crazy thing to think about because I don’t see myself like that, I see myself as a normal person.

Sometimes I’ll get more ignorant comments. I get those more than anything about people saying something and I know they’re not trying to be hateful, I just know that not enough is talked about for people to know. If I get a hate comment or DM that is genuinely trying to be mean and hurtful, I let it go, blow off the person, delete the comment, whatever. I honestly could care less, but I don’t want other people who are struggling with their sexuality to see that and think badly about themselves.

I was definitely surprised when my I’ve been able to meet a lot of people through my TikTok TikToks started gaining more traction which has been something I’ve been so grateful for. People in our area, who I never would’ve met before that go to back in April. I remember my irst other schools or live a town over who are also gay or apart TikTok to hit over 1,000 likes. of the LGBT community. it’s good that I can make friends with people who are like me and have been through similar I honestly think being a role model is crazy because I used things. It’s great because I know there’re gay people at our school, but sometimes it’s good to meet other people too. to be that person looking up to other people’s content, still If you’re struggling with your identity, in any way, shape, figuring stuff out.

I think it’s great to think that I could be that role model for or form, it doesn’t have to be sexuality, just know you’re not other people because of situations I’ve been through, plenty alone. You’re going to get through this. Really try to surof other people have been through, and plenty of other peo- round yourself with people who you can talk to and just be ple are going to go through. If I can prepare people or show yourself. Honestly, it’s really tough being in a closet, sticking them that they’re not alone, that would mean a lot to me, or yourself into whatever anyone else is doing rather than being yourself. I’m way happier and definitely credit TikTok for that just give them a laugh. by being able to be myself, I’m definitely a much happier It was nerve racking coming out to my close friends and family, but at that point, once those people were accepting, person. everyone and their mothers could know. I really didn’t care.

If this was going to change how people viewed me, that’s interviewed by maggie kirwin • photo by sydney laput make funny, commentary TikToks on being a lesbian teen, but not all of them are about that. Some of them are about the community in general or different things going on in pop culture that have to do with the LGBT community, so it varies.

I always thought TikTok was funny and always wanted to make an account, but I wasn’t sure what to make. I thought I had something to offer to shed light into the LGBT community and share different experiences I’ve been through. I thought it would be fun. I started off making TikToks mainly for me, but then I did what other creators did for me and helped show other people that they weren’t alone.

I was definitely surprised when my TikToks started gaining more traction back in April. I remember my first TikTok to hit over a thousand likes. I just remember when it hit 1,000 likes, and I was like ‘what the heck? That’s so much!’ Now, I get that consistently, so that was kind of funny.

I think what started to grow my following was finding my niche or the type of content that I was making. The content had to be broad enough to create different types of videos, but specific enough to apply to a certain audience. Then, finding a schedule that worked for me. It seems so crazy, but I treat it like a job: I post at specific times, think of content, have to stick with the trends. There’s a lot of stuff that goes into it to get the following and keep it.

huntleyvoice.com • 3

Molly Allen ... to break a school

W

hen the official blew the whistle, it was completely still. At that moment there was nothing, no birds, no wind, it was completely silent. I feel like I blacked out because there was nothing in my brain. The gun went off and the only thing I remembered is that I could not be the first to the candy cane.

It all started at the Peoria meet. Kaplan was pushing the idea that we could let it all out at Peoria. We just had to trust that we weren’t going to hit a wall. And so, I did that, and I flew. It was startling as I was running past all of my teammates who had primarily been beating me all season thus far.

A couple of weeks later, at the sectionals race, I did not have a very good run. I thought I had ruined our chances at state. Our coach’s brother was hosting the meet, and after we returned from our cool down, he said we would be racing against them next weekend at state. I started crying, I was very happy. But when we got home, I started instantly getting anxious about state.

When we got to Detweiller the morning of the state race, I remember everybody just being quiet, we were all nervous.

I was spiraling, it was really rough for me. I could not get myself to drink anything and I was freaking out thinking I might cramp up, get an asthma attack, and not finish the state race.

It came time to warm up, and I was itching to run because we had not run much for the past month besides races.

We got over to the start line, and there were probably 250 girls already there, in addition to the coaches, parents, and alternates.

The candy cane, which was the name of the first turn of the race, was about 600 meters out. Kaplan always said that the first person to the candy cane was never the person who won the race. So, we were not allowed to be the first there.

It felt like we went from the line to that first turn in two seconds, it was so fast. There were so many girls in front of me, which was weird because, at that point of the season, I was always in the front.

Then, some girl spiked me in my knee and I was really excited about that because it is just one of those running things.

It was as if I was going from place to place, but I didn’t remember the running in between because it was just that fast.

There was this patch behind some trees during a straight

interviewed by delaney cairns • photo by sydney laput 4 • the voice march 2021

record

away, and it was very secluded. There was a bit of sawdust that I had to run over. I remember smelling the sawdust and seeing my mom and my aunt. I could see them, but I couldn’t hear anything.

I was doing the math in my head, which is something I always do when I am running. However, I did the math wrong and I thought I was doing much better than I was, but that gave me the motivation to keep going and run even stronger.

I remember passing by Huntley’s tent and seeing the boys.

I heard them cheering for me, and the boys did not normally interact with us much, so I sped up a lot at that moment.

At a half-mile to go, I saw Kaplan. He was yelling at me but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying. It was this wide-open field, it was sunny, and it was really weird to me.

I got to a turn and it was 400s meters left. It finally clicked in my head I needed to go, but just could not. It felt like I was a car in third gear and I was trying so hard to get into fourth gear, but I was stuck, so I was going as fast as I could in third gear until I saw the finish line.

I picked it up a little bit until I could finally read the timer, and I knew that I had 15 seconds to get to the finish line, it felt impossible. There were so many parents, it was so loud, and I screamed ‘NO.’ I ran so hard, it all came out on that final stretch.

The distance between the first mat and the fourth mat was the difference between breaking the record and not. I had to stop really abruptly after the fourth mat because there were so many girls on the ground, so I stepped over a few girls and I was sobbing.

It was a sea of parents shouting for their kids, and a lot of girls crying. Kaplan came over, grabbed me, and pulled me into a hug. I was just so confused. It was so strange, I felt like I had just come in from a different planet.

During the cooldown, I felt like I was elsewhere, in a daze. I was thinking about other things, and it didn’t settle with me that we were at state and had just finished our last race of the season. Everybody was very excited for me, but I was just not confident in what I had done.

At regionals, my sister was there screaming at me at the last 800 meters, and when my sister screams at me, it gets to me.

It’s not something that is drowned out because of the moment, when my sister yells at me, I always hear it. So, if she was there at that last 800 meters, I am sure I would have run faster, but she wasn’t and I couldn’t get myself to kick.

On the bus ride home, Kaplan finally told me, he said, “you

broke the record today. You beat it by 1.2 seconds,” and I just sat there because it was a very mild moment. I was able to just smile and be happy about it quietly. It was very intimate and a nice way to find out.

I really hope that another freshman comes along and

breaks my record. I will be proud of them, not bitter, because I have already had that experience and I don’t need it again.

As much as I would love to break my school record, I don’t need to and I would love it so much more if somebody else did.

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Mallory Kindl ... to own a

I

business

wanted to find another way to make money because I wasn’t really making much at my old job. I started getting into ideas of selling clothes or making jewelry last year. It’s been an outlet for me to express my creative

side.

I started learning how to make jewelry when I saw a video on TikTok. I looked at this girl’s account and thought it seemed fun so I got a bunch of stuff from Hobby Lobby and Michaels.

It was a bumpy start but I progressively got better. I began with different styles to see what people liked. It was a lot of trial and error.

During quarantine we had a lot of free time, which means I was prone to being bored. I like being creative so I challenged myself to make money off of something I enjoy doing.

My first ring style wasn’t terrible but it just looked a bit cheap and I wanted my products to be more than that.

Macrame necklaces were my go-to even though I didn’t have many rocks to do it with. Even though that’s how it started, I wanted to learn how to make a more diverse range of designs.

After a while, I took it more seriously because I really needed money. My mom even encouraged me to make an Instagram account, and I thought it sounded like a really fun idea.

I don’t really plan on doing this for a lifetime. I think it’s just a fun high school or college thing. It does make me feel good when people want to buy my stuff though.

I smile at the little comments people leave after buying my products. It just keeps me going. Whenever my mom comments on the things I make, saying it’s cute, it helps me stay super motivated as well.

I think it’s just a good balance of how much I spend and how much I earn from the business. I’m losing some money that I get from this account to get the materials and it’s a very time-consuming process.

Working is a weekly thing. I usually do it on the weekends if I have free time. I just make a bunch of things that I think everybody would like on my page.

When I make jewelry, it’s so calming. Once you get into it, it’s really easy. I like to listen to Spotify and get into the

interviewed by lauren schmit • photo by amanda hoglind

groove of it.

I have my own hours. It’s not like a schedule so I can do whatever I want. Having a job that is more personal to me is really nice. I can take my own breaks and do it on my own time.

When I first started, my customers were mostly people from school. Soon after, I started to see an expansion in where orders were coming from.

For orders I ask the ring size so I can estimate if my product would fit or if I need to adjust it.

Once you follow a couple people and get your brand out there, more people find you. That’s basically how I get traction, as well as other small businesses helping me out. I’ve gotten a lot of growth recently, now having a bit more than 800 followers.

Sometimes I lose motivation to buy anything for the jewelry or post anything on my story. It’s a very tedious process to keep up your exposure to potential customers.

A business is definitely something that you have to keep up with in order to see progress. It can take up a lot of my time so I definately have to find that motivation to continue.

I’m hoping for a bigger growth in my business, even though I have a good amount of followers. It’s just amazing to be making a profit from something that I enjoy doing. huntleyvoice.com • 7

8 • the voice march 2021

Bill Vahey

... to be a Vietnam

V

ietnam was not a pleasant experience. It’s funny because it’s hard to remember it. I think that’s how the mind works;it blocks out things that you don’t need to remember that don’t benefit you.

I was in the Marine Corps. I was there for about 10 years and I was a fighter pilot. I flew in the Vietnam War. My original reason to join the army was to avoid the draft. Back then we had the draft and I didn’t really want to be in the service.

I joined the program where you were on active duty for six months and went to drill meetings. During that time, I wanted to fly so I joined the flight program. I would never want to do it again. I hated the part of going to Vietnam and I cannot understand people who go back for many tours in the military.

I probably should have been an engineer. I was good at that. When I was young I did not enjoy school. I did not find a passion in the workforce but I think that is what I should have done. Even flying was not my passion.

During flight school, you form a bond with the guys you fly with and it’s different. I have a couple of friends that I talk to today. Several girls were neighbors of ours, they were Dutch and Montessori teachers. One of my friends even married one of them. All of us have stayed in touch.

I got married just before I went over there. I met my wife in a bar in Laguna Beach, California. I lived there. My roommate was in a different squad house off base. He was having a party, but I was so drunk I don’t remember anything. Then I met her again in the bar we hung out in, and then we started dating.

I got married after I knew my wife for three months. It was not a smart move. We were married for 20 years and then she left. I was left to raise my two children and that was fun. My daughter is still around, she lives around here.

My son got killed when he was a freshman at UW Madison.

He just turned 18 and got in a car accident. He and some of his friends were out drinking and he was a passenger in the car. That was a long time ago and you learn to live with it. It made me and my daughter even closer.

In the Marine Corps, we could only contact our family by mail. Not like today, things have changed dramatically. We would try and call them. When we were on the hot pad, where you are on watch all night long. We would be on the alert phone that people would call us on. We would try and

veteran

call out on them. We occasionally got to the states but we never made it all the way.

I did have a lot of scares when in the service. I hated getting in thunderstorms. You always try and avoid those.

The flights from Hawaii were rough. You would come from California to Hawaii, then to Vietnam. There is a point there where you have to refuel a couple of times to make it. One is in Hawaii, but one is when you are miles out in the ocean.

If you don’t plugin then you are going in the water.

Another scare was I picked a plane up in Japan once.

“Some of the time you just scare yourself, but most of the time you were too busy to get scared.”

I was bringing it back to Vietnam and I was having problems with it. I had to land in Okinawa, Japan. I don’t know how I found it.

We didn’t have any luggage on the planes, so I was just in my flight suit with a little bag, but very little money. I don’t think we had credit cards then. My radar operator, the one that sits in the back of the plane, didn’t have anything. I had my checkbook with me but I had very little money. I wrote a hot check at the officers club there and I gave him half of it, and he told me he was going to go into the slots, later that night he left with about $700. So I tried it and I won about $400.

Some of the time you just scare yourself, but most of the time you were too busy to get scared.

It was not good when I came home. I drank a lot, for about eight years. It felt like you were coming back to the world and it was just a waste of time. We were not welcomed back which was depressing. They told us when flying back to not wear our uniform because people would yell at us in the airport. It was not a popular war.

I firmly believe that if you can find what you are passionate about then you are golden. When you find that then the rest will follow, but it’s a hard thing to do. When people decide they want to be early on in their life, they are very lucky.

interviewed by molly baker • photo by amanda hoglind huntleyvoice.com • 9

Steve Sturm

... to be a corrections officer

I

was a corrections officer at the Illinois Youth Center, a boys facility at Stateville Penitentiary. The prison itself was built like an arena with four floors and a guard tower in the middle so that the guards could see in every cell. In other words, there’s no privacy.

The acoustics in there make everything echo even at night, but during the day it was deafening, like being at a rock concert right in front of the speakers. Everyday, my ears would be ringing so hard.

When the inmates were upset, they would do something they called “kicking it off,” which meant that they would make as much noise as possible in order to cover up the noise of somebody getting sexually assaulted, stabbed, etc.

With the constant risk, corrections officers have the highest rate of PTSD of any occupation, higher than police officers and combat troops. For police officers, even in bad neighborhoods, they are not dealing with criminals 24/7.

They would be inside writing a report or they would be talking to people who aren’t criminals.

However, when you’re working at a prison, you’re surrounded by criminals 24/7. A lot of the guards think that it’s weak to get help so they drink or abuse drugs.

Everyday was a bad day, but this day in particular was horrendous.

We knew it would be tense because the state of Illinois figured out that the prison was selling cigarettes in the juvenile prison commissary, which is a little store where inmates can buy stuff that the prison doesn’t provide, such as higher quality hair care, snacks, etc.

So, the state legislature made it illegal to sell cigarettes to the juvenile inmates because it was illegal to sell them to minors, which was good because inmates were constantly asking me for a light even though we can’t give them anything that can burn.

As a result, all of the smokers went cold turkey, giving people nicotine withdrawals and causing extreme aggravation, fatigue, cravings, anxiety, and frustration.

Plus, there was some tension between a few of the gangs.

We knew sooner or later something was going to happen.

It happened at the visitor center. All of a sudden, the inmates started chanting, “fight, fight, fight.” I called for backup and attempted to peel people off of each other. Our job was to stop them from hurting each other.

Then, one of the inmates shoved me down the metal

stairs, and I tumbled down and hit my head hard, resulting in a concussion.

When it comes to being a corrections officer, you don’t think about the dangers of breaking up a fight.

It’s similar to the movie The Princess Bride, when Andre the Giant says that “he can’t fight the man in black because he’s used to fighting groups of people.”

Similarly, we would work in teams. I’ve practiced it so much that it has become part of my senses and muscle memory.

There were things like having to put my thumb into a young man’s chest so that he didn’t bleed out because he was stabbed by another inmate with a piece with a piece of plastic. I didn’t think about it, and it just had to be done.

Watching the visitation definitely had the most long term effect on me.

They would sit at tables during visitation, like the cafeteria in the high school. It broke my heart to see them try to explain to their little brothers and sisters why they cannot go on with them.

I saw parents who had been lied to all along, discovering at the trial that their kid actually committed the crime they were accused of.

Once, we had to pull a grandma off of her grandson because she had believed him earlier but then during her visit, she lost her temper, pulled off her shoe, and started beating him with it.

The job can be disturbing, but Richard Speck was one of the most disturbing inmates I’ve crossed paths with. In prison, there are a lot of ordinary people that just made mistakes or were in bad situations.

There are few evil people, but it’s hard to include Richard Speck in the category of a human being because he has no conscience at all.

They’re very fortunate that they caught him. I don’t think he would have stopped after his first killing spree. He walked into a house owned by a bunch of nursing students and started killing them.

You could tell by just talking to him and watching him have conversations with other inmates that he has no shred of caring about other people at all.

It was his eyes, the things that he would say, his mannerisms, and knowing what he did.

Being around some inmates can make you feel unsafe, but you just can’t think about that.

I mean I’m not a small guy, but there’s several guys that interviewed by gretchen sweeney • photo by sydney laput make me feel small, and I’m not used to feeling that way.

10 • the voice march 2021

At the end of my first week working at the prison, one of the lieutenants came to me and he said, “you’re still trying to see behind yourself. If they want to kill you, they will find a way to kill you. You either have to stop worrying about it or you have to get a different job.”

There are two ways to be a correctional officer: you either have to use your muscles or your brain, and I tried to use my brain.

It is not so much as outsmarting them when using your brain, but it’s a matter of talking them down. I think any decent corrections officer would make a pretty good hostage

negotiator.

I just have to figure out what it is that will make this person calm down, but that’s not always possible because there are a lot of mentally ill people in prison. Even if they weren’t mentally ill when they got there, prison made them that way.

After I worked there, years later, I went to the zoo with my wife, and we went to this outdoor bear exhibit.

I noticed that the bear was moving in a very specific way in which he would get to one corner of his cage, swoop his head down, walk along another wall, and repeat this a few times.

Zoo animals go a little crazy when their enclosures are too small. Lots of prison inmates go through that too.

They will move to their sink, move something on the counter, go to the bed, sit on the bed, look at the bars, and repeat the same behavior everyday.

But, I can’t pity any of the inmates, it’s not like teaching school.

Many of them are very clever people who will try to emotionally manipulate you into doing things like bringing in contraband or giving them favors.

They’ve got nothing but time, so they’ll spend all day figuring out ways to manipulate you.

The policy I decided on is I don’t think anybody is entitled to respect, they have to earn it, but everybody is entitled to courtesy. Therefore, I would always refer to everyone as Mister, even Mr. Speck. huntleyvoice.com • 11

Patrick Jarzebek ... to live in

Poland

A

s I start boarding the airplane, I take one last sniff of the air. I would not smell this again for over two months. I take a look at the United Airlines logo one last time before I step in. The flight attendant greets me, and I take my seat. I lean my head back and slowly daze off. My trip to Poland had begun.

I slowly wake up to the feeling of the landing gears of the plane hitting the pavement. I take a look at my phone- it had been 13 hours since we took off. I look out the window and see the terminal. I text my parents that I had landed as they had not come with me on this trip. I unbuckle my seatbelt and head off the plane, going into the airport.

I take a look around me and see a whole different world that I have not seen in a long time. I see different restaurants and signs. I hear a different language: Polish. Fortunately, I am very fluent in Polish as I had learned it when I was younger. I can also smell the new air. It smells and feels so much different than America.

I text my aunt that I have landed. I head over towards the terminal exit and look for her car - a black Volkswagen. I spot it and quickly wave her over to me. I see a big smile on her face as she drives towards me. My aunt quickly parks and gets out of the car. I jog towards her and give her a big hug, one that I have not felt in over a year.

“Jak sie masz?” [How are you?] she says. I respond with, “Robie swietne!” [I am doing great!]

I load my suitcase into the back of the car and take a seat.

We start to head over to my favorite restaurants in the city, known for their delicious Pierogies. As we drive there, I take a look out of the window. I see the dark, cloudy sky and below, a city full of life. The lights, the people, the music; it all blends together so well into one perfect city. Everyone seems so happy and alive here.

After I finish my food and get back in the car, my aunt and I head to the apartment. I look out the window in excitement, knowing that I will see some of my cousins and best friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. As we pull into the driveway, I quickly get out and grab my suitcase from the trunk. I run up the stairs and through the door where I see my whole family. Everyone laughs in joy and starts giving me hugs, greeting me. It’s all happening so fast.

interviewed by brenden boyle • courtesy of patrick jarzebek 12 • the voice march 2021

I already miss my parents and my brother, so I FaceTime them. I show them the apartment, and my relatives that I have met. I tell them how my time has been here so far and tell them that I miss them.

Once I wake up, my cousins and I go visit Warsaw. It’s a three hour drive from where we stay in Krakow. On the way there, I don’t sleep. I spend time talking to my cousins about how life has been since we have last seen each other. It usually passes the time quickly since there is so much to talk about.

Once we arrive, we go visit the river and the famous Museum, called the Warsaw Uprising Museum. Warsaw is the capital of Poland, so we also see a lot of tourists there. It feels a lot like downtown Chicago, but at the same time it is so much different.

I continued to develop a closer relationship with my cousins and relatives, as our relationship had distanced since we have not seen each other for a long time. However, it had not felt like that during the time I spent with them. They felt like any other ordinary family member, and I tried not to think about how I would not see them for another year after I leave.

During the months of living there, it did get a bit hard to adapt to the different environment, especially the language.

Back at home, I barely even speak Polish on a daily basis, but in Poland, I speak it 24/7. I do not feel like that was the hardest part of the trip. The hardest part was going back to America.

Once it was time to go back home, I gave all my family and friends one last goodbye before I made my trip to the airport. It was hard knowing that I will not be able to see them for another year. As I enter the airport, I smell the Polish air for one last time. I wish I could take it home with me.

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14 • the voice march 2021

W

Ashton Joob ... to have Noonan’s

hen I first got diagnosed, in my mind, I was scared. I did not know what I had to do because I did not want to be different. I did not want to have this disorder.

I was diagnosed at seven years old. I remember my mom and my dad were with me.

It was in my house and this lady came over and was talking about it. I got my first shot then.

I was scared of the needle. When I was younger, I did not like needles at all. I hated going to take a shot.

When I first went in, it hurt badly because it was my first time. I’d compare it to a shark bite.

That is the only thing I was scared of. I would probably think of those two as the same thing.

I remember every day I felt like it got better, better, and better until I had to have my first blood test. That is when it all went backward.

They had to have over five people come into the room and hold me down because I did not want to get my shot.

I was trying to move out of the chair and they were putting my hand down. Two doctors had my hands down and then my dad was squeezing me back.

I do see multiple doctors. My one doctor helps me with my legs. She stretches them because I have tight calves. Whenever I wake up, my legs hurt so bad. They feel like they’re gonna come off sometimes.

Every morning, I try to stretch. My legs feel like they are breaking. Even if I am in one place for five minutes, they fall asleep really easily.

Even when I’m sitting down on Zoom, they just fall asleep. Sometimes, I have to ask my teacher if I can have a bathroom break so I can walk around.

The other doctor brings me in, measures how tall I’ve grown, my weight, and then she shows where my growth has been. I think I see her every 6 to 3 months.

I always had to look up at people and they had to look

Syndrome

down. Inside, I just felt the same and I didn’t want people to look at me as the short person.

I wanted them to look at me as a normal kid. I can play every sport I want to play. That is pretty cool because I do not have a syndrome where I can’t play any sports. it is me being tinier than everybody, which has been really my whole life right now.

I noticed I always felt like I was different. It just kind of made me sad, sometimes depressed. Some kids even bullied me for being different.

Whenever I got home, I was always either crying or mad. Now, I try not to think about the people that are going to be mean to me. I think about the good people.

There was this one girl and then this other guy. I could always count on them to make me feel better.

I always knew if somebody brought me down, they’d always bring me back up.

To me, I look at other people. I look towards my sister. She doesn’t have any doctors and I’m here going to a doctor almost every week, which is hard. I sometimes wish I was her.

I remember I was playing with my friends on a hot day and my mom asked for me. She told me I had to go to the doctor. I was angry. Sometimes, I even question why.

I knew that I had this disorder and I was angry that I did have it, but, I know that other people do have other things that I may not have.

I do think that to me, it is rare. It’s special to me and compared to all my friends, I am the only one that has it.

Without my parents, my sister, and my friends, I probably wouldn’t be here.

My parents didn’t give up on me. They do not see me as this disorder. They see me just as a regular kid.

interviewed by gabrielle terez • photo by amanda hoglind huntleyvoice.com • 15

Sunni Kwon

I

... to bake

for smiles

have been baking since like maybe six but I just started getting into it when I was a Freshman. I don’t charge anything either, it’s 100% free.

I remember I made like 100 cookies during Christmas and I gave them out to everyone during Christmas time; it took me like two days straight to make all of them.

After I decorated them I dropped them off at my friend’s houses and I told them ‘hey go check your front door.’ Then they would look out their front door and there were just a bunch of cookies sitting there.

When I was around eight, my mom started getting me into the kitchen more and then she was like ‘okay you are going to try to make dinner when you are 10.’

My parents tried getting me into baking when I was really young so that when I grew older I could rely on it.

We live by the new Jewel, we are like 5 minutes away.

So every single day during second or third hour I drive to Jewel and try to get ingredients for dinner. My mom keeps telling me I have a spending problem.

of my favorite things to do. But I love making cookies. It’s my favorite thing to do because it’s really easy. You just need one bowl and then dump everything in.

I make some Korean dishes too and there is a special one that is a donut called kkwabaegi. It is basically kind of like a churro but it is really airy and it’s pulled apart numerous times. Once you bite into it it’s like really soft and folded and twisted in cinnamon sugar.

My favorite cookie that I make right now is my brown butter chocolate chip cookies which are a staple in my house.

We have a little jar that I keep all my cookies in, once it kind of shrivels down a little bit I will make another batch so it stays at the top.

I use pictures I find on the internet for my inspiration. I try to get a color theme that I really like for the day, or I go on Tik Tok and look at bakers on my for you page.

I shop at Michaels a lot. When I go inside I go straight to the baking area. I just get everything there, like the boards and boxes so I can hand stuff out.

I think having a baking instagram is a pretty cool way to get my stuff out there, especially to others in the community.

“Baking is a totally great way to spread I am very proud of myself. positivity and joy throughout your I started this account less than a year ago and I’ve been friends and family memebers because baking for a long time but I haven’t been really pursuing it baking cookies can really put a smile on until now. I had a 200 follower giveaway. I also had 500 entries into it via comments on the instagram post. anyone’s face.”

I think the biggest thing for me was just being able to see something go from scratch to the final product. Just seeing how everyday objects can turn into something that was With extracurriculars it is a great way to reduce my stress beautiful and you could eat. and everything. Our kitchen is in the middle of our house Baking is a totally great way to spread positivity and joy and that’s where our whole family is. So I just kind of go throughout your friends and family members because baking there after school and then figure out a dinner menu. cookies can really put a smile on anyone’s face.

I totally thought about making it into a business once I get I love [baking] so much because you can show love out of college or maybe even in college. I am really looking through it and then give it out to others and just see how forward to making my own labels and shipping them and much it changes them. everything.

When I gave out my first cookie bundle to my friend they As of right now, it is 100% free. I get DMs from people in were like ‘oh this literally helped so much, I’ve had a really the highschool and they’re like ‘hey can you make this?’ and bad day’. I think just that pushed me a lot to want to drop I’m like ‘yea of course!’. things off to my friends.

My favorite thing that I make is cookies because I feel like I like being able to show people like if you ever need they are easier to eat. Cupcakes will kind of fill you up and something a cookie is always there, but also the person that same with cakes. But I love decorating cakes, that’s also one makes it is there too.

interviewed by nikki darnall• photo by sydney laput 16 • the voice march 2021

huntleyvoice.com • 17

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18 • the voice march 2021

Laney Rahn ... to be a

playwright

W

riting a play has always been a dream of mine, but I never thought I would in my freshman year of high school. This play I wrote is called “My Story.”

It talks about suicide and the importance of sharing your story. That importance needs to be stressed, so that others can be more aware and truly learn about it. For some people, sharing their story helps themselves along with others who struggle.

I feel like suicide is something that a lot of people are scared to talk about, which is totally understandable. I really wanted to do this was to bring my classmates together and help them in any way I can. Even though I can’t do this worldwide, I can do it within our school.

When I was deciding what I was going to write for the play, this topic just came up. I feel like a lot of high schoolers go through all types of stuff. Being a freshman at the time, I felt very overwhelmed and flustered.

Everyone goes through this and everyone struggles with things. One healthy thing to do when struggling is finding healthy, successful ways to cope. At this time, my coping mechanism was writing a story about someone that struggled even more than I was at the time.

I have a script that I am still working on currently. The main character is a girl named Harley who passed away from suicide. She somehow is able to come back to life, in a way, through another girl named Ruth who is struggling a lot.

Harley comes back to life through Ruth’s dream, sharing with her what she went through. Ultimately, she teaches Ruth that she regrets what she did and the things she would have done differently. By her sharing this story with Ruth, it prevents her from harming herself no matter how hard it gets.

I’ve been writing plays for about four years now. It’s always been in the back of my head that I wanted to put one on, but it wasn’t until last year about 14 months ago that I actually had a script that I really liked about suicide.

I was just sitting there and I decided I want to put this on and I want to do it here. So I went to Dr. Belin and I sat down with him and we talked about it. He liked the idea and said that it’s something that he’d loved to see happen.

I do remember I finished writing the script in my science class. When I got that close to the end, I was so eager to finish it so I started typing super fast and the ideas were just rolling through my head.

I was surprising myself by how fast I was typing and where everything was coming from. Then the bell rang meaning class was over and I had just finished the entire thing. And for some reason, I remember thinking the bell kind of felt like “it’s go time.”

I got up and I went to my next class and it was really all I could think about the rest of the day. Those feelings I felt are unforgettable. I was eager, shaking with excitement, because I have gotten so far now with my final draft.

I remember when I wrote the first draft, it was on paper so I used a pencil. I held that pencil so tight it hurt my hand, but I was so proud of what I was writing.

This kind of sounds cheesy, but what inspires me the most are my peers, even if they’re not my friends. I want people to know, I see you and I know that people are going through stuff. I know many people have lost someone to suicide, know someone who has battled suicidal thoughts or even struggled themselves.

What keeps me going, in the end, are my peers. I know that they’re dealing with high school and other personal things.

So for me to put this out there and get the word out to them along with others that you are not alone in this battle is a big deal for me.

I just want to help whoever needs to hear this story and the best way for me to portray that is through this play.

interviewed by brooke helle • photo by amanda hoglind huntleyvoice.com • 19

I

Abby Bolas ... to become spiritual

never really identified with being a Christian. My practice was always a fear based thing. Spirituality and all that comes with it was very appealing to me. It made more sense than a higher-power energy. It’s also very free, letting you do what you want and having a very comforting process.

Astrology is very different from spirituality, but it is also very interesting. The stars and planets really do play a part in who you are as a person and how you act.

Spirituality has helped me become a better person, more confident, and more aware of everything. It’s made me more connected with nature and the things around me.

What I’ve noticed most is how healing it is for me. The more I got into spirituality, the more I began to realize the positive and negative things in my life.

This has helped me recognize my place in the universe and acknowledge my abilities and powers. It’s really opened my eyes to who I am as a person and who others are as well. If you are lost, spirituality gives you a path and it opens the door to discovering yourself. For me, it shows me all the things I should be happy about.

I have also dealt with mental health issues for a while and I used to struggle a lot with anxiety and depression. Spirituality provided so many options that helped me with this, one of them being crystals.

Crystals are very complicated and are a bit tough to get into. You have to cleanse them and set your intentions for the benefit you wish for them to provide. Once you get past that, they’re very beneficial mentally. I’ve had crystals that support me emotionally, ones that help me with my anxiety, and some that are motivational or are happy stones.

What they provide me is very noticeable. I have this Lepidolite necklace that I wear everyday because it helps me with my mental health.

One day it broke and I remember being incredibly anxious that day. When the benefit is gone, it is so clear how much help these crystals and spirituality give me.

I’ve been doing tarot for a little over a year as well. It’s very intricate and difficult to learn and I’m still learning myself.

There are the major arcana and minor arcana cards and it is very interesting and so intricate. Any combination of cards can mean so many things. I recently gave three of my friends tarot readings and they were very impressed. I enjoy giving my friends tarot readings so much because it’s such a

interviewed by owen zimmerman • photo by sydney laput 20 • the voice march 2021

cool way to connect with them and at the same time you’re giving them clarity. The entire thing feels really great.

Tarot can help me as well, if I need advice I can just ask my tarot deck and it usually gives me constructive advice for my situation. At the same time, however, doing tarot for yourself can be difficult because it can feel biased toward your situation.

When you’re reading for yourself you can easily interpret it being about your exact situation, whereas when you read tarot for someone else it’s not like that.

In those circumstances you don’t know everything about that person’s situation, so it feels a lot more credible when they relate to my interpretation. It can be beneficial to those who receive it if they come into it with an open mind and are willing to take advice.

On top of all of this, I have been in witchcraft and paganism for around two years. I’m still pretty new to it so I’m referred to as a baby. Due to that, I have to be really careful because I’m still learning and have no idea when and where I can make mistakes.

If you do make mistakes, they can be harmful to you if you don’t have very strong protection. For example, hexing is incredibly dangerous without protection or a very good reason to do it. Without good intention it can come right back at you.

There’s also something called the rule of threes. This means that the energy you put out into the universe will come back at you three times as hard. I do, in fact, have a story of someone being affected by this rule.

Basically magic is very dangerous, so you have to start small. What I do is basic white magic spells, basically things that will benefit me.

Spell jars are also something I do a lot. They’re little jars filled with herbs and crystals that are sealed with wax and it sets intentions for you.

I made a protection jar recently for me and two of my friends. You just set it on your windowsill and it casts a protection spell around you.

I also have done friendship jars which create stronger bonds with those around you and there’s antidepressant ones as well.

There’s also written spells and physical ones. Some of them are love spells which are very dangerous. The person you cast the spell upon can fall so deeply for you that they are obsessed. You might not want that and more important-

ly they may not be the person you need in your life.

But after casting that spell you have this person attached to you and completely in love, that’s why love spells are actually considered dark magic.

You should never cast love spells. The only spells I cast, in relation to that, are spells that make certain people contact me or think of me. Witchcraft, in general, is really cool as long as you’re protected and have good intentions behind it.

Protection when casting spells is really essential, and there’s so many ways to do it. There’s protection crystals. Amethyst, Black Tourmaline, and Malachite are really good ones.

Malachite is probably the most important one for protection but there is a lot more that you can buy and set their intentions for them to be protective for you.

Like I said before, you can place them in spell jars with herbs and have them be very beneficial in their effects.

Another thing I am careful about protecting myself from is mirrors. They can be gateways or portals for negative energy or thoughts.

You can either turn them around to lock them out or draw protective sigils on them.

I really encourage people to take those precautions, because if you don’t you can let negative energies and entities in and

you do not want that. I definitely think it’s important.

Spirituality has been beneficial to me and others. I strongly encourage others to look into it if they feel lost mentally, with their identity, or in their religion. It can help you greatly as it did to me.

huntleyvoice.com • 21

22 • the voice march 2021

I

Cary Huntington ... to teach in China

n my senior year of college, I switched my major from chemistry to international studies with an Asian studies focus. For that major, they required two years of a language. I started learning Chinese my senior year and convinced the department chair and my Chinese teacher to allow me to graduate if I did an intensive language program over the summer, which would come up as a year of Chinese.

I went to China that summer and decided that I wanted to continue learning Chinese, so I moved back to teach. At that point, I had no intention of becoming a teacher. I had very little experience with students or children, but within the first six months of being there and teaching, I enjoyed it.

When I first moved to China, it was to study abroad. For my second trip, I went to China with about 20 students and my professor. We visited several universities and took classes from the Chinese teachers. This is where I took the language intensive course.

After graduation, I wanted to stay and continue because I was learning a lot, not only from the students but just about the culture. I ended up getting a job in management through the company that moved me there. This is one of the reasons I stayed even longer, about 10 years.

I was in charge of hiring and training the new teachers, as well as writing the curriculum that we would sell to the different schools and districts. I would also travel around and promote our programs to new schools.

Even when I had that position, I was still teaching kindergarten. In my first year of teaching, I taught kindergarten and after two years I started to change the way we taught English classes.

We started a program called New Beat which uses songs and dance to teach English. It focuses on morals and ethics, teaching little kids how to be polite and help each other. It was similar to the song “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” but the lyrics were “if you’re sad, sad, sad call a friend” and ‘if you’re angry, angry, angry, take a breath.”

Teaching children how to express their emotions, the songs focus heavily on IQ, emotional intelligence, and VQ virtues.

It’s all about doing the right thing. If your friend hits you, what should you do? Or if you’re sad, what should you do?

That was for the little kids.

The later program for that was first through 10th grade.

It’s called the World Ambassador Program. It was teaching about different places in the world through a cultural class.

Every unit was focused on a different virtue or moral as well

as teaching about different countries and cultures but that was for older students. It’s a class taught in English, but the focus wasn’t to teach them English. They just pick that up on the way.

Their school life is a little more strict. They have a lot more homework than we do here. In China, there’s a lot of competition, so every family wants their child to be the best that they can be. A lot of my students, at least in Shanghai, besides their normal classes and homework, would have one or two extracurricular classes every day. On the weekend, they might have up to ten.

However, they don’t do too much with sports there. You might have swimming, piano, or an instrument, but then they mainly have math, logic, English, and Chinese calligraphy.

I had a 6-year-old student my second year that could play Mozart. She was that good but it was very stressful. They don’t have a lot of playtime, so when we would come into the classroom it was a little more chaotic for us because we were their time to relax. They could let their guard down a little bit. That lets us have pretty good relationships with them.

In my first year of teaching, I taught at Montessori kindergarten. At this school, I had a 3-year-old student who had the choice of being in an English class. She got to choose what work to do in the classroom. In the first few months, she wouldn’t come to class. She’d maybe stand nearby and listen, but she wouldn’t come in.

During free time, I would go out and play on the playground with the students. We’d have snowball fights and build snowmen. She would come talk to me in Chinese even though my Chinese wasn’t great at the time. She would just walk around the playground with me and talk all day. One day, she just said, “tomorrow I’m coming to English class.” It was something she wanted to do, and she did.

Within probably two weeks, she was the best one in the class and she was 3 years old. That was the moment I knew I wanted to be a teacher. It felt good to know that she was learning from me. My students were getting something out of what I was doing there.

I teach at Huntley now, but if I had the opportunity to go back, I would. When I’m teaching my students, I get excited about teaching Chinese. I want my students to have the same excitement.

interviewed by ally jorgensen • photo by sydney laput huntleyvoice.com • 23

all about our website

huntleyvoice.com Our staff works together to create an engaging and informational website for and about our community. Publishing daily uploads, staffers write articles about current events in Huntley. In addition, each staffer is given the opportunity to express themsleves through a fun, personal assignment. We hope to keep growing our community engagement during a time where many feel isolated. Check out huntleyvoice.com/ for a sneak peek of our content featured below.

Photo Gallery photo taken by S. Hashmi

Each month, our photographers take a series of photos that capture a specific event around Huntley High School. After, they post them on web for your enjoyment. This month, photographer Syed Hashmi took photos at a boys varsity soccer game against Dundee Crown.

See photos like these and many more on the website.

Personality Video

video created by A. Panier

Every cycle, Abby picks a new family snack to make. During this video, she takes us grocery shopping with her to buy the ingredients and shows us how to make the snack. See more videos and columns like this on the website’s blog page.

News

article written by S. Gebka “Each student brought in their own idea for what they wanted to paint and were asked to choose a window panel to work on.

Artworks varied from a simple “thank you” to more advanced styles.

Some were collages between two students, and other pieces had more colors to help make the employee entrance pop. Many students volunteered to show their appreciation because of how the pandemic has played out...”

24 • the voice march 2021

Woodstock Dolphins Swim Team

Summer season coming up!

Stay active outside of school sports!

Email Coach Sharon Lesniak: wdstheadcoach1@woodstockdolphins.com www.WoodstockDolphins.com huntleyvoice.com • 25

Kyra Nelson ... to have Lyme Disease

T

here is no easy way for me to tell my story of Lyme disease. It took me about seven months to get a proper diagnosis, leaving me in stage 4 of the disease, known as late disseminated Lyme. I honestly rarely even remember what happened in seventh grade due to my intense mental fogginess.

It all started with chronic headaches along with my brain fog. It just kept getting worse which took over my normal functioning. I was an active athlete playing volleyball and softball, so feeling like this was not normal.

Then I started feeling constant dizziness and a strong feeling of being really tired. I could barely get up 7 stairs without taking a break. My house has 14 stairs so it took me over 10 minutes to get up them on my own.

I could not wash myself, stand in the shower, or even keep my head up, everything seemed so difficult to do, but I was not truly mentally there either. I did not feel like myself. Even getting up seemed like a difficult task to do.

One of my teachers started to notice my eyes rolling to the back of my head which is when my mom started taking me to the doctors.

Soon my resting heart rate was twice what it should be and one time in the car my left arm went paralyzed for a while.

I did eventually gain movement back in that arm but was followed by intense numbness a couple of times.

Then all the multiples of doctor’s appointments started to begin. I got MRIs, an EKG, and CAT scans. I had a spinal tap done along with multiple blood tests. I saw a pediatrician, an eye doctor, an allergist, a cardiologist, a neurologist, a rheumatologist, emergency room specialists, and nurse assistants. I also had to see a psychiatrist to rule out any mind-body connection.

I stayed overnight many times in emergency rooms and each specialist I saw did similar rounds of tests because they wanted their own results. It was sorta just the same things over and over again for me, not that I fully remember.

We went to many specialists to target things, but the one unique thing about my case was that I did not have that obvious red rash. So with all of those blood tests, they were never searching for that one thing. Each appointment we had ruled out rare things like brain tumors, but I started to feel hopeless when each time nothing was found. All we wanted was a diagnosis, so we can start the treatment.

Until one day when a substitute nurse at my mom’s work

interviewed by alyssa borring • photo illustration by sarah baczewski, sydney laput 26 • the voice march 2021

heard about my symptoms and brought up Lyme disease to her. My mom then immediately called the doctors, picked me up, and took me to get tested. It came back positive.

Then the treatment plan began where I had a refrigerated, expensive IV antibiotic, Rocephin, for 28 days. I went to the doctors once a week during that time. After the treatment, it was not a once a week thing anymore.

During this time, I was not allowed to go to school and I missed a lot of my school work due to testing. Luckily my teachers were really nice, and I had to do very minimal work.

I also had a homebound tutor who would come because when I had a PICC line, I was not allowed to go to school until the last week.

I would say the hardest thing was eighth grade when I was not sick, but my body was still recovering. So I was technically not the “sick girl” anymore, but I was still really tired and had a lot of residual symptoms.

During the school day, my friends would talk and I would be at my desk with my head resting on my hand. I could not focus, I was so exhausted. This made me so frustrated because I was finally out of my house, but there I was at school, too exhausted and unable to hold any conversations.

So the most frustrating thing about getting better was not being sick anymore, but still being too tired to talk. I really do like to talk. This even showed in my sport as I did collapse during one of my softball games. The only part I remember is waking up to videos of my names spelled out with bats. So not being able to do those activities I usually did, even after treatment, was really frustrating because I thought I would be better once I was done being medicated.

Under all of this, I truly did enjoy getting the Shamrock Shakes or Oreo McFlurries between each appointment and the connections I made with the kind nurses who would bake us cookies.

Those things helped me stay positive and I know things could have been much worse. I had the biggest support system ever who stayed with me, supported me, encouraged me, and even stayed up at night with me.

I am thankful for my family, and especially for my mother who went to all my appointments with me and never failed to make me smile. The one thing that kept me going was the community constantly supporting me, they made me feel like I was not sick.

The sickness took a year out of my life, it was like an anchor. However, every anchor has a rope, and the thing pulling the rope was my family, friends, and a hopeful outlook.

huntleyvoice.com • 27

M

Joshua Whiting ... to be a 3D artist

y brother’s old computer. That’s my tool for my 3D design. He loaned it to me so I could perform better in my classes. I ticked away at the keyboard while the fan, running hot, was cooling the Nvidia Geforce 840M graphics card.

The graphics card would surely be the key to being able to run Blender. Chromebooks, while they were useful tools for academics, can’t hold a candle when trying to run a program as big as this.

I started my 3D design journey right here at the highschool. I went into “Introduction to Engineering” in my freshman year and we used a program called Autodesk Inventor.

Autodesk Inventor was alright, but it was limited. Up until recently Inventor was my work horse. I used it for basically everything, but it was not the most ideal program to use.

Inventor is a program used for basic level engineering design. It’s used to made parts with it, nothing extravagant like I wanted.

During my journey towards discovering Blender, I moved onto CAD Academy, with Mr. Weedof as my teacher. I distinctly remember we had a project modelling Lego pieces.

We were given measurements and the means and were expected to assemble a lego creation.

I made two block-like cars out of the legos created. This whole process only deepened my desire to learn and create using more extensive tools.

Chromebooks were no longer an option to use. Blender was professional and is used for serious designers. During the first few weeks of second semester, I upgraded to my brother’s old computer.

The faint glow of the monitor was in contrast to the thin layer of snow that had settled outside. A million ideas floated through my mind. The things I could do and make had expanded.

The green loading bar on the monitor filled as the program made its way onto this computer. Anticipation. Excitement.

Nervousness. It all swelled in my gut.

There was an issue. I had come off hot from Inventor, and Blender was nothing like Inventor. I had to learn to use Blender before I could even consider trying to model a race car. I was nervous, this was uncharted territory for me. It was intimidating to say the least. I swallowed away that nervous feeling and started searching the internet for tutorials. To my pleasant surprise there were tons of tutorial courses to interviewed by brandon smalley • photo illustration by amanda hoglind, sydney laput

28 • the voice march 2021

help people get used to Blender. These videos would be my teacher.

Over the course of the next couple of months, I worked on three distinct projects. I worked on modelling a donut with a cup of coffee, a designer chair, and a couch. The donut was the first project I worked on. Blender absolutely astonished me. I was able to model, texture, add individual sprinkles to the frosting of the donut, each sprinkle its own entity.

Excitement built up, I was slowly learning how this wonderful program worked.

Next it was onto the chair. I had to model and texture a modernist designer chair for this course. And it went incredibly smoothly, except for one small issue. Half of the chair was pitch black. In my excitement I had incorrectly lit the stage for which the chair sat. I scrambled to correct this dire error and soon enough the chair was back to its original glossy ridged self.

At this point, I was becoming more and more experienced with Blender. It was a far cry from where I started from. I was glad to leave programs like Inventor behind, its limitations could no longer hinder my creativity. I finally finished up the last of the tutorials, I modeled a designer couch, it looked like something you would see in an Ikea catalogue. I was very satisfied with the results. I finally had all 3 tutorials under my belt. I was experienced now, and I had my sights set on the project that initially made me start using Blender. That race car.

I opened up a new file, and I began my work. This was to be my magnum opus, my most important project. I was Michael Angelo, and the blank canvas given to me by Blender was the Sistine Chapel. With much exuberance, I started to model, connecting, molding, sculpting my creation. Shapes formed into a frame, a frame formed a recognizable object.

Nothing else in the world mattered except for me and this race car. After days of laboring, perfecting the lighting, making sure every texture was as smooth as possible. Every inch, every centimeter, every nanometer, I inspected thoroughly for imperfections and swiftly corrected them.

When I finished, it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I was completed with my race car. I modeled it after a 2017 Porsche 919 hybrid. It was sleek, and smooth.

Reds, whites, blacks, all connecting with each other brilliantly. Logos were plastered all over the car, advertising the absolute beast of the machine. It was over, though. I was incredibly happy with what I had accomplished, but a new

see ARTIST page 30

huntleyvoice.com • 29

from ARTIST page 28

feeling washed over me. My thoughts once again began to bubble and boil, I was hungry for more, I was hungry to create.

My eyes set towards a new horizon.

I wanted to create something larger, something much bigger than a race car.

I knuckled down, and the next project I wanted to do was to model, sculpt, and texture an airplane, A Boeing 787 to be exact. That is where I am at currently.

It is already coming along pretty well, this time I had to employ techniques to make it look right, the windows are textured and slightly indented into the plane to give the illusion of transparency, along with balancing the shape of the plane and making a decent looking cone.

But this is just the beginning in my long Journey with Blender. I was always initially nervous, I was afraid that I was going to fall and not be able to get back up, but I persevered and powered through it.

I made some projects I am very happy with and I hope to complete many more in the future.

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Amanda Beer ... to have an

T

illness

here were a bunch of machines and tubes and loud, persistent beeping. It would constantly wake me and my dad in the middle of the night.

There isn’t much to do in a hospital so most days we ended up watching a lot of “Family Feud” and “Grey’s Anatomy.”

It’s weird to know that if I was in there last year it would’ve been crazy with masks because this happened right before COVID. The hospital was cold and scary, but when I was at school I felt really uncomfortable all day. I felt sick. When I got to the hospital, they gave me a hospital gown, got me in bed and then inserted my IV. I felt safer knowing these people would take care of me and with my family there, I just felt better about the situation. That was the first hospital I went to.

After a few hours in the first hospital, they discharged me.

The doctors thought I was dehydrated so they gave me an IV. I tried to get up and go home but I couldn’t walk out of the building. They wouldn’t let anyone under the age of 16 stay overnight at this hospital, so I was transferred. It was 1 in the morning when I was taken in an ambulance to Lutheran General Hospital, the second hospital I went to.

I was only there for three days. Things had started getting a bit better and then I was discharged on a Sunday afternoon.

It was in early September when I started feeling it then it got really bad in the beginning of October. The symptoms were debilitating; I wasn’t able to do normal things. I was really dizzy and my body just felt like I was constantly spinning.

I couldn’t walk by myself; I even had to get help to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t even keep my pills down. It was so scary but, thankfully, my grandma was there to help me.

I was in such a daze throughout this whole process that even the little pricks from needles stealing my blood didn’t interest my utter fear of them. I just wanted to get better and go home. It was just so hard not knowing what was wrong or how to fix it.

Even after visiting my pediatrician and going through many hospital visits, nothing was positively helping. I even went to the ear, nose and throat doctor and ENT, and yet still very little-to-no progress.

interviewed by holly urbanczyk • photo by amanda hoglind

Sometimes I felt like I was being overdramatic about the situation. I felt bad that my family, like my dad, had to be there constantly. I felt like a huge burden to all of them.

I think I saw four different doctors in the hospital. Honestly, I didn’t really count. There were so many nurses, doctors and med students coming and going, it got too confusing. Sometimes I actually thought it was pretty cool that people were learning because of my unknown issue.

After going in and out of doctor’s offices and hospitals for around two months, I finally got a real diagnosis. I was sitting in a special room in the ENT surrounded by tools and instruments I had never seen before when I was given the news.

The doctor had his goggles on in this brown room. There was no wallpaper and no decorations. It was just a bland, brown room. I was focusing on the scent of the alcohol swabs that doctor’s offices usually have, when I heard him say “vestibular neuronitis.”

At first I had no idea what this meant. Turns out it was a nerve in my ear that was inflamed. This was the reason why I was always dizzy and felt like everything was spinning.

I was in awe at first but then realized I finally had a diagnosis. I no longer had to doubt myself or think I was being dramatic. There was a lot of relief because some of the uncertainty left when he said those words.

With my family there, I felt so much better about the situation. Just having people who loved me there really helped.

This experience taught me to appreciate my health and ability to do normal, everyday things. It also helped me to appreciate and remember my friends and family who were there with me the whole way. huntleyvoice.com • 31

32 • the voice march 2021

I

Gary Rabine ... to run for governor

’ve often been called the paving guy or the ditch digger.

In high school, I remember sitting around a table with my buddies and they were talking about going to college. They asked me where I was going and I told them I wasn’t. One of my friends leaned over and yelled, ‘So you’re gonna to be a ditch digger! Well, the world needs ditch diggers, Rabine.’ I never forgot about that. The sound of it and the way he said it.

My childhood was not like many. We lived in a cottage that was turned into a full-time house on the Chain of Lakes in Fox Lake, Illinois. I grew up with a father that worked in a factory. He also did a lot of side jobs and he was a workaholic.

Through his example, my brother, sisters, and I learned work ethic. In order to be with my dad and hang out with him, I had to work alongside him, so I began working when I was pretty young.

I got a newspaper route at 10 years old, and on my route, I had customers that needed their lawns mowed. I started mowing their lawns for some extra money. The jackpot was when I discovered dumpsters with aluminum cans I could exchange at the scrap yard. It turned out to be bigger money than both my newspaper route and mowing lawns.

When I was a freshman in high school, I went to work for a guy paving driveways.

He saw me running a bobcat for my dad and offered me a job to grade his driveways before he paved them. I fell in love with paving and I knew that I could do my own business. I became confident that I could do it out of high school.

My first and largest business today is still the paving business. It’s roofing, concrete & asphalt paving, pavement maintenance, pipe televising, HVAC maintenance, and a drone technology company.

All of these companies have a leader who is striving to be the best in the world and is capable of inspiring their team to be the best they can. The goal is for each leader to be a world class performer in the industry they are in.

In the early 2000s, I joined a group called the Young Presidents Organization, made-up of CEOs from across the globe.

Through this organization, I found the majority of these people who are striving to grow an enterprise business. Then, I got into the Global Construction network. Any organization I joined, I raised my hand to lead.

When I started my podcast a couple years ago, it was with a goal to inspire others to become entrepreneurs and I needed to come up with a name. I wanted it to be about rags to riches stories so that’s why I named it ‘Ditch Digger CEO’, as I remembered my start and the tag my friend put in me. The podcast is based on people that have built businesses from nothing to the top 1% in their industry. Jimmy John

and Netflix founder Marc Randolph are on the podcast. Every one of these people strive to be world-class. I would say of all the people I look to interview, 90% plus have given back substantially. They’re competitive minded and want to serve the market better than anybody else. That’s the spirit of a great entrepreneur; they find ways to differentiate.

My wife passed away in October of 2020 and through 35 years of marriage, she was always a giver. She always pushed us to give back to the community.

Cheryl and I started the ‘Rabine Group’ foundation back in 2005. It’s done a lot to give back to our community, such as causes for children, elderly, the homeless, and veterans.

I came home to be with my wife for her last year of life.

During that time I thought about how short life is.

Running for governor is not something I ever aspired to be. I want them to know that I gave everything I had to make sure Illinois and America stay a free enterprise and freedom loving country.

We’re losing jobs and have more violence in the city of Chicago than we’ve ever seen before. Things can be turned around by not doing the same old things. I believe that when I win, I’ll be able to reach across the aisle and get stuff done with people from both the Democratic and Republican side better than most.

This current governor is not leading in a way that’s serving.

I think he’s leading in a way that he expects to be served. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work very well. Servant leadership goes a long way in any type of leadership, including government, and we’re not seeing that with this governor. That’s what you’ll see with me.

We have lost around 420,000 jobs because of the shutdown. I don’t believe government should pick winners and losers, and that’s what happened.

Essential jobs are all jobs.

I believe people from all sides, Democrats, Independents, and Republicans realize that Illinois is not a place they want to stay; it’s a place where they want to get the heck out.

That’s a bad image and a bad culture. Democrats, just like Republicans, are looking for a change.

I’m definitely a big underdog and I’m okay with that. Pritzker is a billionaire. For him, it’s the pride of winning. And he’ll spend whatever it takes to win, so it won’t be easy. Ultimately, I believe that he’s done enough damage to Illinois that I have a great chance to beat him. The majority of people I talk to of all income levels want to leave Illinois.

My slogan and my goal for Illinois is for my administration to be working on “Paving The Way To Stay.”

interviewed by brooke hamann • photo illustration by sydney laput huntleyvoice.com • 33

Joey Defrancisco ... to be a

So when I was 15, my buddy who rapped at Lupe Fiasco’s studio brought me with him. [Lupe Fiasco is] the guy who wrote the song “The Show Goes On.” When I first walked in, they thought I was the rapper. I was like, “Nah, I’m here for [my friend’s] video.”

I just sat down and observed everything.

There were Bruno Mars plaques everywhere. All of a sudden, I had people showing me around and they’re like, “Yeah, Tupac rapped on this mic” and I was like, “Oh my gosh. This is the coolest thing in the world.” grabbed the mic.

I knew I had to start.

“Yall effin’ ready?”

I went home every night after that and started writing lyrThe crowd was screaming back, “Hell yeah!” ics. I recorded music on my phone and [I would] rap through We performed the song. People were jumping my phone. I showed my older brother and he was like, up and down, nodding their heads to my music. “Yeah,” I “This is kind of good.” thought. “This is sick.”

I have always been into music. When I was younger, I This was my first performance at the Forge. You bring a always thought like I was going to be a professional football couple of your friends and you get in for free. You’d have to player. I always thought pay to perform. It was me, my buddy Millie, his little broththat I wanted to be er, and my other buddy Kush. That was around the time in the NFL. But then I I dropped my first official song on YouTube. It was called started taking rap seri“Cold Hearted.’’ That’s when I first started showing people ously, and I performed my music. at that first show [at It all started off as a hobby. I started rapping when I was in the Forge] and that’s middle school, around age 12 or 13, and it was me and all when my current manmy buddies. We reached out to each other, so we’d meet up ager found me.

[When I] got second place [at the Forge] I “[My parents] told me that they won free studio time and I got paid for supported me. Ever since I was little they performing. I [began] told me that I can do whatever I want in recording in that stuthis world.” dio, and while we were recording, I was talking to this huge producat our houses, and we started freestyling and having compeer in the city named titions. We would write music, [perform it], and judge who Mikey Mane. He’s was the best. People would tell me that I have a good voice. made songs with Juice When people would drive me to school sometimes, I’d Wrld, and he produced be listening to a song, and I’d just look out the window and with G Herbo, Chief imagine [myself] performing that song. I’d be like, “Yep. Just Keef, and even Chance watch me.” the Rapper. I told I first started dropping music on Soundcloud in my baseMikey that [I was] just ment. My buddy Logan Michael gave me a little loan. He looking to get signed. told me that he believed in me, and that he knew I could do He kept telling me, “Go this, and he gave me money to buy a whole studio setup in with Gino.” I went with my basement. My parents didn’t think I was taking it seriGino, and now he’s my ously until I [decided] to really sit down and talk with them manager today. [about my dream].

Gino Gallela owns They told me that they supported me. Ever since I was litMobbed Up. Mobbed tle they told me that I can do whatever I want in this world.

Up Inc. is my record label and my manageinterviewed by amelia pozniak • photo courtesy of ment company. I’m not joey defrancisco

I

rapper

34 • the voice march 2021

signed to a huge label yet, but my distribution company is Sony the Orchard.

They distribute my music. I’m still waiting to get signed by [a larger record label].

The owner of the [recording] studio I go to now is J.Craig Beats & Engineering. J.Craig produced the song “Lean With Me” by Juice Wrld. He records all of my songs now.

It’s crazy to think that i’m working with someone who helped make songs like “Gucci Gang’’ and “Eskettit’’ by Lil Pump. I didn’t think I would get to this point.

[I still] write my own music. Currently, I have songs out on Soundcloud, but I released my first ever debut single on Apple Music. I get my beats sent out to me from a dude out in LA, and I’ll write [my own] hooks within five minutes, and then the verse may take me a day or two. You just got to be in a good mindset to write a song.

In February, I won a Chicago Music Award. Mobbed Up and I won for the best record label and best teen artist.

I was sitting at my kitchen table eating my dinner. I was eating some pasta, my mom was sitting on the couch with my dad, watching the CMAs on the TV. All of a sudden, they start announcing, “The hottest new teen of 2021 CMA award [goes to] B-B-Y Joe!” My mom started crying. I was really excited.

Sharing these types of accomplishments with my family and my friends is dope. I have everybody around me and supporting me. [Sharing my experiences has] taught me that people could turn on you. I feel like ever since I’ve been taking [rap] seriously, and people see me doing something big with it, I’ve had people that I used to be really good friends with turn on me because I’m a rapper or something. [Sometimes] when I walk past people, they will laugh and smile.

Eventually, I just told myself, “Who cares what people think?”

It’s taught me a lot about patience.

This is where I need to be for the rest of my life.

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I

Kristine DeBolt ... to be a movie extra

decided that I wanted to become an extra when my sister and I saw an application for the remake of the movie, “A League of Their Own,” on Facebook. I immediately thought to myself that this wasn’t real, but I’d give it a go. We filled out a google form and sent body and head shots of ourselves.

Supprisingly, a month later we got an email invitation to come try out as an extra baseball player. Before I knew it, I was already on my way to California The original movie was very iconic despite being produced in 1992. The movie focuses around the history of women’s baseball and was originally written as a lighthearted comedy. I think it became so iconic because it had such amazing actors and actresses such as Tom Hanks, Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell, and Geena Davis.

The remake was supposed to be a series produced by Sony and released by Amazon. It was also supposed to be more funny than the original, but we’ll see what happens.

The remake is trying to raise money for a women’s baseball museum in Rockford, IL. This effort for raising funds is led by Maybelle Blair, a professional baseball player who played for the All American Girls Professional Baseball League.

It took me three different flights to get to California.

Sometimes I was in California and back home in less than 24 hours. At this point, I was still working my full-time job as a teacher. It was kind of cool because some of the ladies that tried out to be baseball players were actresses, who were just looking for a job.

Luckily, my cousin lived only 10 minutes away from where we were doing the tryout and we were able to stay with her.

In order to become extras for the movie, we would first have to do well in our tryouts, and I knew that whatever I had to do, I would make happen.

There were a number of people trying out but to make the roles, you needed to be good at baseball. I grew up playing softball so I might have had an advantage over all the others.

Even my sister still plays softball and I still coach it, so just being able to play is the only thing we needed to do. Justine Siegal and other professional coaches were hired to help with tryouts.

It was neat to see the film and production crews appreciate and work with the professionals that know the game.

Over a two-day period in January 2019, we played baseball

interviewed by jacey sola • photo by sydney laput 36 • the voice march 2021

for hours, which paid off because we were chosen to be extras.

After the tryouts in January, we came back in February for costume fitting and filming. We went into a giant warehouse, with racks of clothes from the floor to the ceiling.

We had to be there by 5 a.m. to get our hair and makeup done, along with our uniform. It seemed like an organized chaotic mess of workers and actors.

We filmed the pilot episode of the remake, which was set in a baseball field. It was cool to be at a ball field with wooden bleachers, in ground dugouts, and locker rooms under the stands. We filmed the scene when the girls in the series try out to make one of the four original team support for original women’s baseball teams. I was one of the girls trying out for the team and it was really neat. I was able to meet Maybelle Blair and another professional baseball player named Shirley Burkovich, which was really cool.

The real actresses for the series were also out there, but what was interesting was that they had ballplayer doubles and stunt doubles. Any normally baseball player would have no problem diving and touching a ball, but the producers wouldn’t let them because the stunt doubles were there to do it for them.

We had to film the scenes several times, and by the end of it, I would be so hurt that I could barely walk. Another thing that was interesting was that there was so much food every day. We had to go on two different lines, based on your role in the movie, so if you were like an actual actress or producer, whatever you got one set of food, but if you were just an extra, you had to get a different meal.

Besides that, it was a really great and wonderful experience for everybody because you were able to learn how to run the background, rolling, action, and many other things in the filming process. We have only filmed the pilot episode of the series, so we are still early in the filming process.

There were a number of people who supported me through getting to do this experience. My kids could not have been more excited for me and my husband has supported me with everything. I received constant support from my sister, cousin, and my mom who helped me fly out. I’ve never done anything like this before and I would probably have never done it, but it was neat to do what I love. To play softball and get paid was cool, but I had a number of people reach out through Facebook asking about it and I’ve also had a lot of students asking about it. I am very excited for its release.

huntleyvoice.com • 37

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38 • the voice march 2021

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Marley Reicher ... to be a

state champion

I

was standing in the outfield, deadset in the summer.

This was in 2019, my sophomore year of highschool. It was the final game of the softball season and we were neck to neck with St. Charles East.

This game was no ordinary defeat though. Our entire team was holding their breath because this game would tell us who won the IHSA Class 4a State Championship title. No Huntley sports team has won state before so we were determined, more than ever, to win.

This was the farthest our softball team has ever gone, which was already an accomplishment enough but, all of us were going to give it our all. We weren’t going to go down without a fight.

As the inninings passed and no team has made any points, we knew it could be anyone’s game. We were in the 7th inning when one of our batters finally got on base. Then, another batter hit an RBI scoring our one and only run. We were the away team so St. Charles had one more chance to make a comeback. When the innings switched, we became conscious of the fact that the win was only three outs away.

I watched from afar as Brianna Bower, our pitcher, struck out two batters. The girl batting for the other team had two strikes when she swung and missed the last ball Bower pitched, leaving them no opportunity to score a run.

As soon as that strike out occurred, I remember throwing my glove in the air and running to meet my team at the pitcher’s mound. We all collided with each other in a tight embrace which quickly turned into a heap that consumed us all.

All of the games and practices we had played throughout the season paid off when we won that game. I couldn’t believe that we had just won a state championship.

Everyone who supported me through sectionals, regional sectionals, super sectionals, and now state had come back to my mind. My dad and mom, two of my biggest supporters, smiled and cheered from the left side of the field where other spectators watched.

We were all high off of adrenaline. As we got back on the bus to leave St. Charles, things became an exciting mess. We had music blasting and we all danced our hearts out, singing

interviewed by ally berens • photo by amanda hoglind

along to “Swagger Jagger” our winning song routine.

The next few months, all of summer and into fall, were a thrilling blur. There were so many events that we were invited to, for a congratulatations on our huge accomplishment for Huntley High School.

Most events were pretty local. Every time I went somewhere with my team it was so exhilarating to get noticed and congratulated from people for it.

There are a few things during this time that really stood out to me. One was when we met with the mayor of Huntley and received a small, clear key to the city.

I thought this was hilarious that all of us also received a “get out of jail free card” we could use if we ever got pulled over.

I have mine in my car just in case something happens. It’s so funny because I know some people who have used it to get out of a speeding ticket.

There were also events at places like Culvers and Parkside Pub to congratulate us. We even ended up going to a professional softball game, home of the Chicago Bandits, and they shouted us out in the middle of a game. I think this whole thing really brought the community together.

It was just such a huge deal for the entire team because, after this win, we became the best high school 4a softball team in Illinois.

It was all just such a fun, eye-opening experience and I, for sure, can say that this is my best accomplishment. huntleyvoice.com • 39

40 • the voice march 2021

I

Keven Haggerty ... to run 50 miles

ran 14 marathons, 20 plus half marathons, and three ultras in my running career that started in high school, and my first ultra was in Illinois.

Although, the one ultra that stands out is the Comrades race in Africa which I have run twice. It is an incredible race because you go 50 plus miles through the hilly countryside with so many people from around the world. With these people, you strike up conversations while waiting before and during the race. It is a fascinating experience that is hard to describe.

It is an ultra-marathon of 89 kilometers, which is approximately 56 miles that happens in South Africa between the cities of Durban and Pietermaritzburg. It is the world’s longest and oldest ultra marathon race with 20,000 runners maximum.

It creates a huge following with lots of energy and excitement around it. I truly enjoyed Africa because of its large amount of history and culture. It has a lot of variation and diversity because it has a much bigger community than in the United States.

This run was also very meaningful since it was through World Vision where I helped find child sponsors for those in need. It is a double win by helping a great cause and experiencing outstanding events.

Comrades is in early June every year, which is in the middle of their winter for them. It is a cooler time there, which is still 60-80 degree weather. One of the destination cities is Durban, which is right on the coast of South Africa and the Indian Ocean. For this reason, the flight was very long and took like 14 or 16 hours. We flew from Chicago, had a layover in Amsterdam, and went on to Africa.

A few days after we arrived on the day of the race, we got up early around 4 or 4:30 a.m. to get our gear ready for the race. We rode the bus over to the starting line because the race started around 5 or 6 a.m. It started early in order to get a portion of the race done while it was still dark and the sun was barely coming up.

At the start, there was no apprehension or fear about the race. It was just an astonishing time with loads of energy and music blaring from their sound systems. Before the race, they play the theme song from “Chariots of Fire,” which is pretty amazing for a runner. The gun goes off and you start a long day of slowly running to conserve your energy.

There are a lot of hills. The biggest hill first came probably 10 miles in where it was early and I was feeling good. I walked half of that hill to conserve energy, before the next

30 plus miles where I went up and down several more hills.

I was feeling energized during those 30 miles and the beautiful weather kept me going. With groups of spectators and people, it added a great vibe to the entire experience.

One different thing about the course was it being on a highway. Normally, there are lots of water and fueling stations. Although, I carried a water belt like I always do. I could drink as I ran and take numerous pouches of gels and goos that I used in my training. I had some electrolytes that I mixed in water as well, to help ensure I stayed hydrated.

There were many phases of the race where you were out in the middle of nowhere running. It was kind of quiet, other than the rhythmic sound of hundreds of shoes paddling across the pavement.

There would be some occasional talking amongst people, but just a lot of silence throughout the race. Thankfully, there are a lot of people in many countries who speak English, so it was not hard to speak to most people.

I had trained a lot for this, so the first two-thirds of the race went well. I felt decent and was following my plan with hydrating and watching my pace. Overall, I was trying not to burn energy too soon.

Probably 10 miles from the end, I developed some stomach indigestion. My stomach was jostling during these last miles which made the last part of it a lot more grueling and physically challenging.

It got harder to take in fuel and water which continued to cause problems with energy and dehydration. After getting to the finish line later, I continued to feel nauseous and not well. I went into the medical tent, and they said I was dehydrated.

They pumped two IV bags into me to get me back on track.

While that part was not fun, it is all part of the adventure.

Fortunately, because of how much training I had done, I snapped back quickly the next day.

During an ultra-marathon, you experience any feeling or emotion you can imagine. All of these emotions are experienced over the 50 plus mile run, from excitement to fatigued.

Your body needs to have a reason to continue forward. The highs are awesome, but the lows you need to work through to keep your mind on the prize. You must remember why you are running because that ultimately gets you through the lows of the race.

interviewed by arianna joob • photo courtesy of keven haggerty huntleyvoice.com • 41

Amanda Keller ... to have

dyslexia

T

here are certain things that can be difficult. In the beginning, I had a lot of trouble in school.

I had difficulty learning to read when I was younger since certain letters would get mixed up.

My definition of dyslexia would probably be a learning disorder that affects reading. It doesn’t mess with my understanding of the book, but the words are difficult.

You never really grow out of it but you learn to cope with it. After that, it’s not as much of a problem.

The only way it affects my schoolwork is that it takes me longer to do certain assignments. I’ve learned to live with it by finding ways to work around it. I always try my best and try not to use it as an excuse.

When I found out I was dyslexic, I was a little confused, but I was reassured that I was not dumber than other kids at my school. I just had a different way of thinking.

I would not say it affects my life in any big ways other than school. I didn’t understand what it meant. When I’m required to read something in a class, I try to find an audio.

When I can not find one, reading out loud helps me.

I heard that it’s common for people with dyslexia to excel in other things like math and science. I always wondered if it was true, but now I’d say it is.

One of the most stressful parts of dyslexia is when I have to read out loud to a group of people. Even so, I practiced and learned how to do it efficiently.

The day I was diagnosed with dyslexia, I didn’t exactly understand but I knew that I was different. I thought that I was dumber or worse than other kids.

I was nervous that I would be made fun of and that the other kids would think I was dumb. My parents and my teacher reassured me that I was not dumb, I would just have to learn in a different way.

Everyone in my life was very helpful. My older brother would help me with homework and go through it with me if I was having trouble.

My teacher also helped me find ways to read easier and also helped me find methods to help me learn things faster.

I was very happy that the other kids were supportive. After learning more about it and finding ways to deal with it as a child, it was easier to manage as I got older. interviewed by jonny hani • photo illustration by amanda hoglind, sydney laput

42 • the voice march 2021

No one treated me differently. My parents never let me use it as an excuse to be lazy and not do my schoolwork.

When I’m reading books or signs, letters tend to flip or reverse. Sometimes, I would accidentally skip over words. I would have to read the same sentences over and over again.

Apparently, when I was little I would often complain about letters and words moving. When I was little I would refuse to do my assignments, or I would procrastinate even after finding ways to cope with my dyslexia. I would sit down and be ready to do the assignment, but I would just stop. I felt like I couldn’t finish my assignments because I had very low self-esteem and did not have the confidence to do it well enough.

I always thought there was no point in trying in school if I was just going to make mistakes and get bad grades. My parents helped me get over those thoughts and sat with me to make sure that I did my homework because they knew that I could.

It was good that I got help when I was little because I rarely think about it now. It does not bother me at all. Now, I do very well in school and I complete all of my assignments.

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huntleyvoice.com! huntleyvoice.com • 43

Faith Rasmussen ... to have gender dysphoria

I

think when I was 10 is when I first suspected I had gender dysphoria. It was always there, but in middle school, it warped into my everyday life. My very own flesh and bone haunted me at every second. Every day I was hyper-aware of my female anatomy.

Since I was underage and unable to start hormone replacement therapy, I thought that death was the only solution.

Several times at school I had gone to the counselor’s office and said that I wanted to end my life. One time my dad picked me up from school and drove me an hour away to the hospital to be evaluated.

Being evaluated was really hard. The woman asked me how I identified, my earliest memory of feeling male, how long I have been dealing with my depression, and many other questions. When I was done with the evaluation, I was left emotionally exhausted.

It was determined by the woman that I was not in immediate danger of ending my life, but it would be highly recommended that I enter an outpatient program. Hearing that I had to enter an outpatient program was fine, I wanted to go through with it to get better.

My parents signed me up for the program, and I had to wait a week because the program was full. It was either before I was evaluated or after when this happened.

Feminine things, female clothing, and looking in the mirror are what triggers my gender dysphoria, but my chest was what made me the most dysphoric.

I only had access to two sports bras and my desperation for a flat chest led me to go to extreme measures of binding in a dangerous way.

Because of my actions, my flesh became raw. I realized that my only way of self-satisfaction couldn’t be long term. I didn’t know how I could carry on with life.

Around that time I had also started getting on prescribed medication. The medication did help. It reduced my depression and my anxiety.

My first day at outpatient, October 31st, was a holiday awaiting ruin. The therapist at outpatient asked me how I was and why I was there. I didn’t know what to say. I said everything was fine, and that I was there because I had gender dysphoria.

I was 13 and new to the medication I was on. It was intimidating being the youngest in a group of older kids, and being

interviewed by sophia coronado • photo illustration by sydney laput 44 • the voice march 2021

intimate with my experiences in a group setting. Now looking back, there were many things I could’ve said that I didn’t. I was young, foolish, and didn’t know how to communicate. I can say, the actual therapy at outpatient didn’t help at all, but being exposed to stories of many horrors kids my age faced have opened my eyes.

My experiences have inspired me to create an illustration collection based on my hardships. “Milk Cloud,” “A Symphonic Cry,” and “Beautiful Memories Haunt” all have symbolic meanings that correlate to my never-ending pain.

“Milk Cloud” is about the separation and similarity between two individuals. It is the beauty of meeting someone so much like one’s self.

There was a man I knew who had such an impact on my life. I used to play the bass back when I was in orchestra. My orchestra teacher was so kind. Whenever he was around I always felt safe. I felt that underneath my ugly clothing and flesh that I was valid, and that I could be a man.

I felt strongly connected to him because I identified with him. When I stopped seeing him I went into a state of grieving.

My hair-pulling addiction worsened.

My shins were covered in open wounds and purple scars.

The Japanese giant hornet and the pupae are representative of metamorphosis. Transition and healing is a journey that takes many years. It is that and my never ending misery and tears at night inspired the title, “A Symphonic Cry.” It was my memories that haunted me. Every day I thought of a time when I self harmed. It never left my mind. I missed the comfort I felt years back. I thought god could save me. I thought that I could feel safe once more. I wanted my past without the pain.

The headless man in “Beautiful Memories Haunt” is representative of never seeing him ever again. The architectural structure is representative of the safety I felt. The raspberries and octopus in the drawing are fine treats served at cafes and restaurants. This represents the celebration of what is good.

Every day I am so proud of him and his success. Even though I may not be able to ever see him or talk to him again, I am so glad that he is living his best life. This is what eases me. I’m going to continue on with life and make him proud.

If I could, I would tell my younger self to take it easy and to not be so serious about everything. I wish others with gender dysphoria would know it’s challenging but they can get through it. I want them to know that they are completely valid and they don’t have to hurt themselves when they’re really upset.

huntleyvoice.com • 45

46 • the voice march 2021

Katie and Cade Klinn ... to be twins

NOTE: Bold told by Katie Klinn and unbold told by as Caden Klinn.

I

it is hard separating twins. When we were younger, our parents actually kept us in the same crib because we refused to be away from each other, and if we were, I would cry nonstop. If Caden was taking a nap, I would always want to be with him and try and wake him up to play with him. When we were younger, I just remember we did all this crazy stuff with each other, and we’d both get in trouble doing bad things. We’d always been really close.

[Twins usually look alike, but] because we’re fraternal twins, I’m a girl and he’s a boy, so of course we don’t look very alike. We get questions [about us looking alike] a lot and I don’t really know if there’s been any big mix-ups because gender is a really big difference.

I think for the most part, it’s just because we are different genders, honestly. I like watching sports.

I like doing girly things like shopping, getting my nails done, we have different music tastes, different styles.

I think me a Katie live two different lifestyles. I [usually] hang out with friends, she really doesn’t. I think we have different passions in life and we both live different lifestyles and have different routines. We both just do different things.

We’re close, but we are very separate people. I’m more reserved and I only have a few close friends, while Caden has a lot and he is always out with friends. When I was growing up, I was very school oriented. I wanted to be the best at everything. I was always on top of my stuff. Caden was more laid back. I was not like that at all. I wanted everything to go perfectly as planned.

Next year is going to be difficult because we’ve always been so close, and I’m going away to college and Caden is going somewhere too. It’s going to be really different being that separate because we are usually [inseparable].

Most of the time, it’s always good to have someone there to talk to. Let’s say I forgot to do something in class; she knows what we are doing and she can just remind me of what we are doing or what I missed.

We are really close. We spend a lot of time with each other, and it is not just with Caden, but my older sibling too. I feel like me and Caden have a different kind of connection since we are twins.

I really don’t think quarantine affected me and Katie as twins but I think we both got better as people.

I feel like if anything, we got even closer because we were stuck in the house together, and I feel like we just talked about the most random stuff and had deep conversations that would last up to 2-3 hours at like 2 in the morning. We would go on drives with each other and just talk about life.

[Right now though,] I think we hang out less, we really don’t hang out.

When it comes to the weekend, I’m out of the house.

We’re both out on the weekends, that’s the only thing that changed. I feel like now since things are kinda getting back to normal, we’re growing apart. We’re just hanging out with our friends and trying to live a normal lifestyle, during a pandemic.

[Being a twin has had its good times.] We go on vacations and just hang out, and Zoom or Google Classroom is fun for us.

Honestly, I like being a twin because when we were coming to high school [or] middle school, we always had someone with us. We weren’t by ourselves. Caden is probably one of my best friends, and it’s just nice going into something never being alone because Caden is always there.

[Being a twin has also had its ups and downs, though,] it’s just like having a sibling, we all have our differences and their is going to be times we’re we don’t agree with each other, but you just overcome it. We are just like any other siblings: We fight, there’s times were we have fun, and stuff like that.

[Being a twin], we don’t know anything different. I mean yeah, we have an older brother, but obviously he isn’t a twin. It’s like having another sibling, you just share the same birthday and are the same age.

I think, also, having a twin adds more competition to your life, cause you always try to do better than your twin. I think their is much more competition with a twin than with an older sibling.

Definitely for the school aspect because we’re like constantly trying to one up each other.

Being a twin has its ups and downs, but it feels great because it will always be hard to separate us, so we can count on having each other’s back.

interviewed by trevor book • photo by sydney laput huntleyvoice.com • 47

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Visit us at: GetHappyPack.com 48 • the voice march 2021

Hailey Felde ... to be in an

pain to grow more intense.

My mom was sitting next to me the entire time during the ride, and the paramedics that were helping me were very nice. They did a really great job making me feel comfortable.

When driving to the hospital, every turn we took made it felt like someone was stabbing my ankles. If I moved the tiniest bit, I felt like someone was literally pulling on my muscles.

When we got there, they loaded me back out. They rolled me to a room and made sure I had medicine for the pain and an anti-inflammatory medicine. I tried not to look down at my feet because they were so swollen. It looked like they had s I pulled into Royalty Gymnastics on Monday, Feb. 15, my stomach began to feel weak. I start- doubled in size. The physician’s assistant, nurse, and ER put ed to feel off. I had not been back to tumble for me on an IV and asked me some questions. A few minutes months due to a concussion during the previous later, a radiologist came in to take x-rays of both of my feet.

As they moved my ankles, I tried my hardest not to wince in cheer season. I was really hoping that nothing would go bad pain, but the discomfort was plain awful. That night, I tried to this day. Boy was I wrong. walk with an air cast on my sprained ankle while my broken When I walked in the gym, I couldn’t help but notice how ankle was in a wrap, but I could not do different it looked. There were no tables, it. I had to use a wheelchair if I wanted parents, or big classes like usual. I put my to go anywhere. I hoped I would get to stuff in the cubby I used frequently as my go home that night, but unfortunately I tumble coach walked in. He told me to didn’t. start stretching, and I began to start my They told me that I would have to see warm up. the orthopedic surgeon in the mornAs I did my second pass, I went for a ing, and he would determine if I could high rebound and came down, landing on go home, go to physical therapy, or if I my left ankle. I heard a loud snap and fell would have to come back a different day onto my right ankle when I heard another and further inspect my injury. louder snap. I tried my best not to cry, but The night I stayed there was not pleasinstantly I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It ant.

I wasn’t used to sleeping without felt like someone had squeezed my lungs being able to move my feet. No matter and would not let go. My coach ran over how hard I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep; it to me, and I covered my mouth, trying my was too painful. best not to scream in pain.

I stayed up and thought about how this I was in so much pain; it’s hard to dewas going to change everything. I was scribe what I truly felt. supposed to get my license March 17 He asked me if I thought I would be but that was no longer going to happen. able to walk, and as I tried to put even I wouldn’t be able to cheer anymore because of this injury, slight pressure on my feet, I felt a wave of pain. I couldn’t do and my mom wanted to be done with it. I wouldn’t be able to it. He called my mom, and she rushed over from work. As she pulled up to Royalty Gymnastics, she dialed 911 to call an work out, which I did every single day. I didn’t know if I was going to need surgery which would put me off my feet a lot ambulance. I felt so scared for what would happen to me. longer. This was all extremely upsetting and contributed to my When the paramedics got there, they took off my shoes pain. and cut my socks off. We tried to figure out what medicine My official diagnosis was a non-displaced fracture of my to give me so I would calm down and they could relieve my medial malleolus on my right foot and a very bad sprain on pain. They rolled me onto my side to put me on a stretcher and rolled me out. When they opened the door to go outside, the left. Right now, I’m not allowed to go to school in person I was absolutely freezing. I started to shiver, but I tried not to any more because I can’t walk on my own without crutches or a scooter. I cannot work out, I cannot drive, and I cannot move my legs because every time I did, the pain got worse. walk regularly without feeling extreme pain. I get to see my They then lifted me onto the ambulance, and we headed to friends and family and I still get to coach the cheer team that the hospital.

The bumps were one of the worst parts of the whole ambu- I coached prior to my injury, but other than that I cannot do much. When I first got home, the pain would grow throughlance ride because even the slightest movement caused the out the day and would get really bad at night. Now that I have interviewed by grace helzer • photo by amanda hoglind made some progress, I only feel intense pain at night.

accident

A

huntleyvoice.com • 49

I

Melinda Chamberlain ... to teach in Chicago

would not have been able to graduate today if it weren’t for Mrs. Chamberlain. That’s what one of my students said when he walked at graduation.

Although he was a very talented basketball player, he struggled with school and read below grade level. He wanted to drop out of high school, but I tried to do everything I could. When I would meet with him, I would say “basketball can take you places, but I know you have it in you to do something.”

He was like one of my kids. I really cared about him, and I could tell he equally cared about me. I felt his gratitude, and he helped me realize I could really connect with my students.

This was why I am a teacher.

I taught at Legal Prep Charter Academy, an all-black charter school, located in West Garfield Park, one of the most violent neighborhoods in Chicago with the highest homicide rate and the lowest life expectancy.

All of our students were required to wear uniforms because of gang affiliation. Students could not even bring their own lunch or carry backpacks in the hallway.

During the school day, the building doors were locked shut, so people outside couldn’t get into the building. Deans also walked people to and from the bathrooms since a person had to be with students at all times for safety purposes.

In fact, most parents considered our charter school as a safer option than their neighborhood high schools.

Charter schools are different because they’re publicly and privately funded, which is how they attract more teachers into these dangerous neighborhoods. To be specific, I was making about $20,000 more in that school compared to my salary at Huntley.

However, we only had so much money available from donors and the state of Illinois. Although every student had a one-to-one Chromebook, we did not have space for a library or music program. There was no gym either, so we rented a gymnasium at a nearby kids club. Students would walk across the street for P.E. every day.

Typical high school experiences were very limited because we didn’t have the means to pay for special programs. While we had a basketball team, basketball was our only main sport.

Everything else was intramural including the dance team, in which several mothers would volunteer and organize events. Oftentimes, I would observe some of their discusinterviewed by ruhi gulati • photo illustration by sydney laput

50 • the voice march 2021

sions with my female students.

They would tell the females not to rely on a man and that women need to have their own back. Men may come and go, but the girls need to take care of themselves. It doesn’t matter what men they have in their life.

This was quite interesting since my own parents never had this conversation with me, but I later realized how important this advice was.

I had several junior and senior girls that became pregnant, and while some of the fathers were students of mine, some of them I didn’t know because they were older.

One of my students, who lived with her aunt, was raped by her aunt’s boyfriend, resulting in her becoming pregnant.

She was an intelligent, young girl but was in a very emotional state. She was out of school for a while and ended up having an abortion.

These were not normal situations most people faced. Several of my students suffered life-changing experiences, like my one student who read a story aloud with tears streaming down his face about how his family used to live in their car.

At first, everyone was dead silent but then started clapping.

Not only did the student open up to me and the class, but he put it all in his writing. It was amazing to see different sides to my students.

While they came from different middle schools all over Chicago and were quiet at first, I got to know my class very well.

Eventually, we became a close-knit family.

When they became sophomores, I became their sophomore English teacher. While I followed all of these kids each year, I especially became close with the 14 girls in my advisory class, who were assigned to me their freshmen year and stayed with me until their senior year.

For the first 30 minutes of every day, I would check in with them and go over their grades. I got to know about their lives very well.

One of the girls in particular had some issues at home. Her mom wasn’t taking care of her, and her dad was in and out of the picture.

She eventually tried to hurt herself and was admitted to a psych ward. However, her mother would not pick her up, so her psychiatrist called me at work.

Even though the principal told me I didn’t have to go, I didn’t want to leave her alone. I went to the psych ward and picked her up, brought her back to my house, and let her order whatever pizza she wanted. She sat with me on my living room floor and watched TV.

That was a really poignant moment. I was, for some of these kids, a second mother because that was how close we were.

My teaching experience was an eye-opener and reminded me that I needed to be grateful. My children are so fortunate to live the way they do while there are so many other kids living only an hour away with a much different life.

These kids had come such a far way from not even reading at grade level to taking the SAT. The SAT was their ticket into college, yet they had to compete with schools like Huntley.

One student, known for his involvement in religion and gospel, wanted to lead everyone in prayer right before taking the SAT, so I watched as all of my students huddled in a circle, hand in hand, praying for a good score, for a better life.

It was amazing, just to see everyone come together. It was my favorite moment of all time over there. Now, that moment is my staple, and my experiences have taught me the importance of creating a classroom culture.

I simply want my kids to feel that we’re a community. This is why I am a teacher.

“When we understand people; when we understand situations; when we understand what matters; when we understand the whys, the whats and the hows; when we understand the trigger of actions, we least inflict pain on ourselves and unto others.”

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

huntleyvoice.com • 51