ESTATE TAXES
PROVIDED BY KEVEN PRATHER, CFBS
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS – OR MAKE MONEY?
A
s an entrepreneur, what do you care about most: being liked by others, or becoming financially successful?
Here’s what we know about self-made millionaires who built their wealth through business ventures: They are much more focused on making money in their dealings with others than they are on establishing social relationships and friendships in their professional dealings. In stark contrast, business owners who are less successful—even those who say they want to become highly successful— regularly act in ways that are socially rewarding but financially costly. They do things mainly to be liked, not to be wealthier. Of course, it’s entirely possible to build wealth and friendships. But the fact remains that the millionaires among you, in work contexts, aim their arrows squarely at the money. For example: • Negotiating. Self-made millionaire business owners approach negotiations with a clear and passionate determination to win. This in no way means they are not looking for ways for the other side to come out well. If both parties walk away as winners, all the better. But that is not always a possibility, and these entrepreneurs understand and accept that. In contrast, most people want everyone to walk away from the negotiations happy, which all too often results in making bad deals. • Networking. Another area where the desire to be liked can easily interfere with becoming wealthier is networking. A large percentage of self-made millionaires can attribute a substantial portion of their success to their ability to connect with others and leverage those relationships. They concentrate on building relationships that have the capacity to open doors as well as supply
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HVACR BUSINESS APRIL 2020
• Millionaire entrepreneurs make a point to act in ways that fill up their wallets—not their social calendars. • For these top business owners, negotiating and networking are two areas where “playing nice” takes a backseat to getting the desired financial and business-building results. • With success come enemies—maybe many of them—so get comfortable with others resenting you or viewing you negatively.
Of course, it’s entirely possible to build wealth and friendships. But the fact remains that the millionaires among you, in work contexts, aim their arrows squarely at the money. resources and clients. There has to be some minimal chemistry between the parties, of course, but the people in self-made millionaires’ networks are the ones who can deliver results—not necessarily people they are looking to for long-term friendships. The fact is, most business relationships are situational and will dissipate once the business connection is gone. And yet, many people want everyone they are dealing with to like them—an attitude that is frequently, if not habitually, antithetical to making money. Think about it: Consider your own history. It’s probably pretty easy to identify more than a few situations where you were being needlessly nice to other people—staff,
vendors—and it cost you monetarily.
it. As self-made millionaires create personal fortunes, they’re very likely to have more and more people approach them with demands, requests and proposals. The logic behind this is straightforward: The wealthy person has financial and professional resources these other people want to access and leverage. As the demands, requests and various proposals multiply, the self-made millionaire is not going to have the bandwidth to deal with them all. (The triage process alone is sure to annoy or anger some of the people making requests.) The result: enemies. When self-made millionaires discount or disregard others’ requests, the rejected commonly see this as evidence of the entrepreneurs’ self-centeredness, callousness, arrogance, insensitivity, conceit and haughtiness. Other factors also may result in people seeing those with wealth in a disparaging light, of course. But often the very process of personal wealth creation perpetuates and enhances their negative image. So what do you do—especially if you’re not prepared to accept a lower level of success simply to be liked more?
ADVICE: GET COMFORTABLE WITH MAKING ENEMIES
ANSWER: PREPARE TO BE VILIFIED. IT’S PROBABLY INESCAPABLE.
Sometimes your journey up the financial ladder goes beyond simply not making friends—it means making enemies along the way. This is often an outcome of significant success, so be ready for some new enemies if you pursue big business results intently.
As you take actions that put you on track to make a lot of money, you’ll encounter hostility—sometimes even hatred—from a good number of people. As you succeed in achieving your financial goals, you’ll certainly make enemies. In fact, as you become more accomplished, it’s highly likely you’ll make a lot of enemies.
Indeed, proportionately more people who are wealthy make enemies. As you accumulate more wealth, it’s very likely you’ll make more enemies than the average (less wealthy) person. This makes sense when you think about
Keep in mind that you should be prepared to make enemies, and some of them may very well be close friends and professionals you’re currently working with. For example, as you conduct negotiations that pay off well, your time becomes an ever
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