Stories of Shakti: STIGMA by i-amshakti

St o r ies of Sh a k t i :s t ig ma :

Cont ent s 2

A Let t er f r omt he Edit or

The MWor d Vaidehi Gaj j ar

[Unt it led]

Mast er s of Disguise

Soor aj Dash

Shades of Shakt i

THANK YOUs

Akshaya

Ravir aj

Cover ar t by Aish w ar ya Ch en ji

A Let t er from t he Edit or Dear readers:

Thank you for taking the time to read this first issue of the I-AM Shakti Publication. This has been a project long in the making, and we as a team are so excited to finally deliver to you the first of many installations. Every issue, we select a theme that we feel should be addressed by our writers and artists. For our first installment, we decided on the theme of STIGMA. The stigma surrounding mental health in the South Asian community is something that our organization is working to eradicate, to create a more accepting and healthy environment for everyone. Once again, thank you for taking the time to pick up this publication, and I hope you enjoy the work we've put together for you.

A nitha Quintin Con t en t War n i n g : This publication aims to represent experiences with mental health in multiple ways through the eyes of contributors from our community. Some of the following content may trigger an adverse reaction.

The M Word I think it would be a starting point for South Asian millennials to speak about mental illness if the older generations at least believed it was a real thing. It?s actually strange if you think about it honestly. There have been South Asian that are at front lines of progress in medicine, technology, and other fields? yet for the most part, the acknowledgment of mental illness asa real thing has not progressed at all. For so many adults of the older South Asian population, I?ve observed that mental illness just translates to one of two things. The first thing they picture, especially in the case of South Asians my age and younger, is a ?bad attitude, low achieving, lazy? child. And in terms of what the South Asian mindset is like, I get where that comes from. Most of our parents, and even grandparents came to somewhere in the ?Western? world-- whether that be America, Canada, the U.K or elsewhere--as low income immigrants with high achieving dreams. This mindset is more than okay with me, because so many parents have set their children up for success with this thinking: by teaching them to keep pushing toward their dreams, to become successful, to make the money they may not have been able to make. But for a person with a mental illness, dreams of success, money, and an overall stable lifestyle are often drowned out by their symptoms-- ranging from constant negative self-image to thoughts of self-harm. And I think that?s part of what our South Asian elders do not understand. Pressure in our lives has always been used as a means of motivation to do better in all aspects. I remember the countless times that I would get exam grades in the mid 90s, and when I would come to my parents all excited about my A? I would hear, ?Beta, you need to get higher marks than this.? I agree that it?s important to be high achieving and strive to do your best-- but is it really right to it at the cost of a person?s well-being and sanity? 3

I think a really good example of this in South Asian cinema is Joy Lobo-- who briefly appeared in the Bollywood movie ?3 Idiots?. Joy represented, in my opinion, a typical high achieving South Asian. A promising student and exceptional mind, turned to ?the dark way out? after being denied an extension on his drone-like contraption he had been working on. When Joy is found hanging in his room, the words ?I QUIT? are seen written across his wall. I think this struggle is characteristic of those who are high achieving students, yet fail to meet someone?s expectations and then decide to take such a drastic step. This is where I believe parents?and any adults?understanding comes into play. I think one of the worst problems in South Asian society is the idea of comparison. From my experience and observation, one of the worst heartbreaks for a child is doing their level best and a parent or anyone else coming back with the response of ?your friends or so and so?s child did better, how come you didn?t get to THEIR level?? Parents have every right to push their children and want to see them achieve their best. But if a child comes to a parent, with absolute happiness in their eyes to show them how far they got, and the parents crush that happiness by comparing them to another individual? the child has basically been told that their efforts meant nothing. This, in my opinion, is the worst blow to a child?s self-esteem, and even their desire to improve. This also applies to situations between friends or significant others. Not everyone is built the same, and not everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses. If between friends someone says, ?Oh how could you not have gotten an A on such and such assignment?, it?s important to realize what that imposes upon them. They may not be recognizing that their struggles may be different from another individual?s. In the case of significant others, I have heard (as I?m sure many others have, as well), people complain about, ?Why doesn?t my significant other do this certain thing like so and so?s partner?? 4

Helping the self-esteem of others, and appreciating their efforts is a very effective way of letting a person with a mental illness, know that they are good enough and that they have accomplished something. People suffering from depression may already feel as though they are worth nothing. So if people around them make a conscious effort to help them feel good about themselves, it could make a huge difference in how they feel, act, and respond to their surroundings. Although it is important to speak to the older South Asian community about these issues, I think it?s also important to speak to those South Asian millennials that are suffering from mental illness. And this is what I want to say to each and every one of you that is suffering: It probably still hasn?t hit you yet. How many are proud of you. I?m sure even when you do realize it, you?ll go on living like it was just another day. You?ve changed and you?ve grown. But even then, you?ve still remained true to you. Carry that with you forever, it?ll always be the currency that will get you the farthest. Life is a cycle of ending one journey and then beginning another. Each journey will come with its own ups and downs? make every one of these journeys something to inevitably grow from. Always remember that you?re much more than you see yourself as, whether the weight of your actions throughout life, hits you or not. You?ve made a difference, visible or not. Keep being the firework you are, fiery but bright. Keep lighting up the sky, and making the stars jealous. No one should be alone in their struggle with mental illness, and no one should have to tiptoe around it. Use its name.

It?s not t he ?M wor d?, it?s ment al illness.

Ar t icle by Vaideh i Gajjar 5

[Unt it led] Long have I remained in this state,

That one day they embrace the truth,

Broken,

That one day, the situation of

bits that have shattered under the

ignorance

weight of my unforgiving world,

crumbles to the shallows of the dirt.

Unheard, where even though I shout

I take my stand, determined,

and

Brittle yet Brave,

scream

Ready to fight my battle,

it seems as if I am voiceless, my

On the two fronts of self and society.

silenced

I go now, ready,

screams echo volumes around me,

to reclaim what was taken away from

The ones closest to me, feel like my

me,

enemies.

I am my own warrior,

I look at my community,

I now ride to destroy the stigmas that

pride and pity,

society holds,

heart and hypocrisy,

And I ride? to put back together the

Uninterested

broken

yet unfortunately pitifully unlearned,

pieces of my own self, prettier and

That I am not being a drama queen, That I am not here to make a scene, That I suffer something so real, That I beg, pray, 6

stronger than ever.

Mast ers of Disguise But I see slaves, Slaves to social will, Slaves to a system of hypocrisy Chained to the opinions of all others, Dressed in luxurious couture,

Ignoring their heart?s will,

Jewels which sparkle like stars

The freedom to express,

so far as to light up the hall,

the freedom to just be their authentic

Refined in mannerism and speech,

selves

Conducting themselves gracefully,

is destroyed daily.

Affairs of small talk, discussing the

I sit back and take in the sight,

going-ons of their daily lives

laughing hysterically to myself,

With masks of fakeness and

They have mastered all else but the

falsehood.

truth of

What meets the eye is not what it

their very own lives.

truly seems, Materially blessed, you may see masters of their own destinies, Equipped with education, wealth and manners,

Poem s by Soor aj Dash

SHADES OF SHAKTI The juxtaposition of the two images in this series depicts the disparity between our community?s perception of mental health and the reality of these challenges. The picture on the left depicts the stigma that many people have with mental health. People see it as a ?black? and ?white? condition and think there is an ?on? and ?off ? switch. However, as depicted in the picture on the right, mental health is much more than that. It?s not just black and white, but has many colors and sides to it.

You can?t judge someone based on what you know because every individual is affected by mental health in a different way. These photos were taken using colored lights and when positioned the right way, the lights amplified the beauty of the subject. Just like this, if you focus your attention on someone facing mental health challenges and take the time to understand what they are going through you will uncover something beautiful.

Type of Art: Gel Lighting Photography Model: Vijay Rana

Ph ot ogr aph y by Ak sh aya Ravir aj

Thank you! With such an ambitious undertaking as this publication, there are a lot of thank yous in order. First, we would like to thank all the contributors for being so willing to share their creations with the world: your stories truly help make mental illness more accepted. We would like to thank Archit Baskaran, for doing so much of the heavy lifting in this organization and being a center to rally around for so many of our projects. Special thank you to Harini Sridhar and Vaidehi Gajjar for helping out with the overall publication. Thank you to the I-AM SHAKTI community for providing us with the platform to share our stories. And thank you again to the readers, for listening so patiently to our message.

Int erest ed in cont ribut ing? Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram for updates on next issue's theme and submissions.

Feel free to contact us at creativecontent@i-amshakti.org with any comments, questions, or concerns!

@i_amshakti @iamshakti1 @i_amshakti