catherine plano
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W W W. I A M W O M A N P R O J EC T. C O M
A vision for the future.
www.cerebralpalsy.org.au
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Contents Choose Love Always
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HOW WE CAPTURED LOVE
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THE "O" FACTOR
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5 KEY INGREDIENTS FOR A RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTS
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LOVE IS A HOAX
THE HEARTS AND SPADES
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INTERVIEW WITH CATHERINE PLANO
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EDITOR'S LETTER
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LOVE IS EVERYWHERE
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MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME
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MOVING FROM OVERWHELMED TO OVERFLOWING AND ABUNDANT
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HOW WE CAPTURED LOVE
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5 KEY INGREDIENTS FOR A SATISFYING RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTS
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THE "O" FACTOR
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PAST PERCEPTIONS CAN SERVE FOR PRESENT LESSONS
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COMMUNICATIONS, SENSES AND RELATIONSHIPS
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THE BIG SECRET TO KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP SEXY
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LOVE IS A HOAX
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TOGETHER FOREVER: PARTNERS IN LOVE, BUSINESS AND LIFE
- INTERVIEW WITH CATHERINE PLANO 40
POWERFUL STRATEGIES FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
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WHAT IS YOUR PLAN B?
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THE IMAGE OF DATING
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THE HEARTS AND SPADES
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THE DEEPER MEANING OF A RELATIONSHIP'S PURPOSE
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THE ART OF CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING OUR RELATIONSHIPS
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GOLDEN AGE RELATIONSHIPS, SOUL MATES & TWIN FLAMES
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GOOD NEWS ABOUT YOUR BREAK-UP
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DON'T LOOSE YOURSELF IN A RELATIONSHIP HEAL YOUR LOVE WOUNDS
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5 EASY FLIRTING TECHNIQUES THAT WILL ACCELERATE YOUR DATING LIFE
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MY RELATIONSHIP IS OVER. WHO AM I NOW ?
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WHERE ARE ALL THE GENTLEMEN ?
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LOVE AFTER BEREAVEMENT
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I AM PERPECT EXACTLY AS I AM
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WHEN TWO BECOME ONE
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3 TIPS TO TURN UP THE LOVE VIBES IN YOUR LIFE
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WHEN DOES NO EVER MEAN YES ?
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INNOCENCE LOST: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR PARTNER SUFFERED SEXUAL ABUSE AS A CHILD?
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LOVE AFTER BEREAVEMENT
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I AM PERFECT EXACTLY AS I AM
W W W. I A M W O M A N P R O J EC T. C O M
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4 WAYS TO RECLAIM YOUR SEXY SACRED FEMININE POWER BY MENDING YOUR BROKEN HEART
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SHOULD YOU ASK A MAN ON A DATE ?
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3 THINGS BEING A DIVORCE LAWYER HAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIFE AND LOVE
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FROM SPAIN TO SOUTH AFRICA FROM LOVE TO SWANS LANE
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Catherine Plano catherine@iamwomanproject.com.au DEPUTY EDITOR Gia Tudoran gia@iamwomanproject.com.au CREATIVE DIRECTORS Kym Beaton & Gizem Darendelioglu gizem@iamwomanproject.com.au GENERAL ENQUIRIES info@iamwomanmagazine.com.au ADVERTISING & MARKETING advertising@iamwomanmagazine.com.au
OUR FABULOUS CONTRIBUTORS Allana Pratt Caria Watt Catherine Plano Clarissa Rayward Darina Flirt Expert Dawn Maslar Debbi Carberry Deborah Fay Donna Hanks Dr Olga Lavalle Emily Chadbourne Emmajane Love Froswa' Booker- Drew, Phd Francey Bagala Gaby Company
Gia Tudoran Gianna Lucas Gina Mitchell Haley Smith Janine Atterbury Jo Ettles Kyla Tustin Louise Edmonds Miranda Hall Monica Romeo Patricia Lopez Sheila G Dickson Tamara Kay Tamara Protassow
Photo credit: Cover & p. H2H Studios
IAW Magazine donates $1 from each magazine sale to charity. Cerebral Palsy Alliance is the recipient for Issue 5. SUBMISSIONS IAW accepts submissions from freelance artists, photographers, designers and journalists, however, we cannot reply to every submission. Please email info@iamwomanmagazine.com.au for submission guidelines.
DISCLAIMER: IAW Magazine will assume no responsibility for consequences that may result in the use of, or reliance on, the published information. No responsibility is taken for the content, images or advertisements. No part of IAW Magazine may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher. Copies of this publication may not be sold. The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publishing staff. Reproduction in whole or part is prohibited without the permission of the publishers. Articles received with no name, address and phone number(s) will not be published. Articles received will only be published by approval of the editorial team. IAW Magazine reserves the right to shorten and or edit received articles and letters. IAW Magazine does not accept responsibility on articles written by various columnists and writers.
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W W W. I A M W O M A N P R O J EC T. C O M
MAGAZINE MEMBERSHIP I AM WOMAN is a magazine celebrating and connecting women and their wisdom across the globe. More than a magazine – I AM WOMAN is a community platform for women to connect, collaborate, contribute, create and celebrate! With our bimonthly issues brimming with ideas, there is inspiration for every woman to design a life filled with beauty, love and laughter. From fashion to family, makeovers to mindfulness, wealth and work, brain science to breakfast, I AM WOMAN is your opportunity to join the conversation. Beyond the gloss and glam, I AM WOMAN is a community of extraordinary women who are energised and empowered to share their knowledge and ideas for a better life.
Our aim is to celebrate and shine a light on writers from across the world. You might be our next contributor – so open your heart and mind to the endless possibilities. I AM WOMAN Magazine may look and feel like a glossy online mag, but it is so much more. IAW Magazine is as fruitful as an e-book. This is why we are calling it – a magibook. It’s a magazine and e-book all in one! We source writers from around the world and they are not necessarily all entrepreneurs or businesswomen – we have extraordinary women from all walks of life writing for us! Every bimonthly edition will cover a different theme that all women can relate to.
Let’s face it, we don’t all work in the corporate sector, but we definitely have a friend or two who do. We may not all be mothers, but we most certainly all have a mum! IAW Magazine can be shared with friends and family to empower your friends and family by sharing IAW Magazine. You could change a life. IAW Magazine is TIMELESS. IAW Magazine is RELEVANT. IAW Magazine is ESSENTIAL. I AM WOMAN Magazine is a woman’s essential guide to life!
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Editor's Letter By CATHERINE PLANO
Ever Mine, Ever Thine, Ever Ours Let’s talk about Love. Love demands everything. That’s why great relationships don’t just happen, they take time and patience. Two individuals who truly want to be together will find ways to make it work, through the highs and the lows, the peaks and the troughs. The one constant thing about relationships is that they are always changing. Sometimes we are bursting with love and can’t get enough of each other; at other times, we need space and time for reflection. Just like the tides of the ocean, there’s a continual ebb and flow in relationships. When you are riding the same wave together, the connection is incredibly powerful. When you drift apart, you find time to re-connect with yourself and your surroundings, seeking new insights and a fresh perspective, to come back to the relationship with new energy. Most of us are hoping that at some point we’ll meet that special someone: someone who wants to make the effort to understand us like no one else does and who will love us like no other, no matter what. This person – your soul mate, your life partner, other half, twin flame, etc. – will accept you ‘warts and all’, tolerating whatever is going on with you, unconditionally. Rather than run away from the tough times, this person will stand with you in the trenches and fight alongside you. Rather than try to change you, they’ll embrace you. They’ll know your flaws, but love you regardless. They’ll encourage you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be. And sometimes, they’ll stand by and watch you from a distance, offering you support from afar because they know there are some things you need to do on your own. In a healthy partnership there is less angst, less struggle. There is more peace, calm and acceptance. There is a mutual understanding and a fundamental knowing that everything is happening just the way that it needs to serve the greater good for both of you. In a healthy relationship, there’s no power struggle or need for control, because there is acknowledgement that by letting things be, by nurturing and allowing, growth can happen. Growth is crucial – not just for the individuals within the relationship, but for the relationship itself.
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This, my friends, is true love. True love never dies – it just gets stronger, it matures. And true love is worth waiting for, even if it takes a lifetime. It took eleven years for me to find my soul mate, my best friend. And we have a love that I would fight for, and make compromises and sacrifices for, because I know he would do the same. When I think about this, now as I write, and I consider the commitment that my soul mate and I have recently made to each other, I realise how difficult it is to put love into words. What is love? How long does it last? Can you give your whole heart away after you’ve been hurt? Can you love someone more than another, or is it just a different kind of love? What I have come to realise is that love has a different meaning to every single one of us. We all show love in a different way, there is no right or wrong. But when you find your special someone, there will be a bond and a chemistry that you feel, and which sets this relationship apart from others that you’ve had. Love is also choice. Love is a commitment. While we often talk about these things in the context of our relationships with others, we must also consider selflove in the same way. Self-love is also a choice. Self-love is commitment. Self-love is an emotion that ebbs and flows, which we have to nurture and put an effort into… Until we love ourselves, we cannot possibly love others. As human beings, this is what we are hard wired for. We are not built to seek love from others, because this kind of love is not satisfying. We are designed to give love, and it is only when we are able to do this – fully appreciating who they are and the magic they bring to our lives – that we can find happiness and harmony. My advice? Unlock the chains from your heart and let yourself go. Feel love. Express love. Be love. I promise you, wonderful things will happen! This edition is filled with beautiful stories to inspire and make your heart skip a beat, hope you enjoy it. Love, Catherine x
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Until we love ourselves, we cannot possibly love others.
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Love Is Everywhere By Haley Smith
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W W W. I A M W O M A N P R O J EC T. C O M
I took a creative writing class in my senior year of high school. In honour of Valentine’s Day, we were assigned to write on the topic of love. My sloppy drafts spoke in flowery language to my boyfriend at the time, and on second read, every sentence seemed suddenly cliché to me. The “you are my other half” and “nothing made sense until I met you” suddenly appeared reminiscent of every love letter, text and email I had sent to every boyfriend before. And, frankly, it struck me as immature and lacklustre. It lacked originality, depth and most importantly... purpose. I suffered from writing block for a week, until suddenly, in the midst of falling asleep one night, an idea hit me. I had been so preoccupied with others and needing their love for me that I forgot something so critical: I had to love myself. I’ve heard this realisation of self-love described as a “radical revolution.” Isn’t that beautiful? It is radical to spontaneously decide to view ourselves differently. It is revolutionary because it entirely changes the perception of our lives – of our control, our autonomy, our ability to choose for ourselves, say yes, say no, and go to sleep each night holding our own hand and speaking in songful soliloquies to ourselves. I turned on the light, grabbed my notebook beside me and watched the words of my first love letter to myself pour out of me. It was a triumph, and one of the first pieces of my work that truly stunned me. Here’s a fact: we live in a media-driven world that is strategically programmed to foster an environment of self-inadequacy. Companies prey on this for profit. We are told that products – makeup, clothing, cars, houses – can change our value, make us worth more. We are seldom told that our value is predetermined and unwavering. We are seldom told that our value is beyond comprehension, and how intrinsically and equally valuable we all are. Here’s another fact: around age 11, entirely brainwashed by every movie, song and TV show, girls are thoroughly convinced that the key to their fulfilment lies in the hand of a significant other. Consequently, the focus shifts from our unique quirks, hobbies, interests and academics to “getting” a guy. It becomes the number one conversation with our girlfriends. It becomes the number one concern. It becomes all-consuming. It is the thief of our power, our independence, our ability to stand on our own and believe we are enough without someone else constantly telling us that we are. I know this because it happened to me on such a fundamental level, and it has taken years to repair myself. I may have caught onto it my senior year of high school, but
even implementing a realisation like that is a trial-and-error process. A trial-and-error process that requires love and patience through every trial, and every error. The truth is, you won’t find the ability to love yourself, or the belief that you are worthy of love, in the eyes of another. You will find it on the top of a fourteener, after a strenuous climb in adverse conditions when you wanted to stop but kept pushing. You will find it in the perimeter of a yoga mat, covered in sweat but attached to your breath. You will find it in the adrenaline rush after you’ve accomplished something you never believed you could. The walk off stage, even though your hands shook the entire time. The tears after a hard decision, even though you still aren’t sure you made the right one. The relief as you stab the period key on your laptop, when you’ve finally finished the most significant piece of work of your undergraduate career. In the sunrise, after you believed you wouldn’t make it through the night. You will find it in yourself.
“I loved others, in every way, more than I loved myself.” I have learned that it was me who drove the winding roads in a blizzard, when I had no one’s eyes to rely on but my own. I have learned it was me that held the flashlight under the covers late at night to read when I was supposed to have been asleep for hours. It was me that decided what I loved and didn’t love, what I believed in and didn’t believe. It was me that wrote the journal entries that would one day take my breath away. It was me. And you will begin to see how much within your own life experience was dictated, and put into this world, by the awe-inspiring and remarkable force that you are. I believe that one day I will find what we call a “soul mate”, but from the day I was born, I have been my own. Love is everywhere, and love is imminent. We will experience love many times in our lives in many different forms. It is, indeed, what makes life worth living. But the most exhilarating love of all – the one that begins at the core, and spreads its wings in the breath of the morning of a new day – is the love that blossoms within us, for us. It is self-love. [IAW]
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY: Azrul Aziz
I had my first boyfriend at age five. We were married on the first day of kindergarten. That blind and giddy infatuation necessitated the presence of a significant other in my life for every day to follow. I loved being loved – having someone else to dream of, to think of when love songs came on the radio. I loved others, in every way, more than I loved myself.
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n i y l d e a M M h t i w e v o L
By CATHERINE PLANO
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W W W. I A M W O M A N P R O J EC T. C O M
r e b m e m a e s t m i o f c e e n B e b e h t p a e r . d y n a a d to By CATHERINE PLANO
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