Twevven and the horrible big bigger biggest baby burp
Story: Ian Burns Illustrations: Lauren Eldridge-Murray
Twevven and the horrible big bigger biggest baby burp (doing good is good, but be careful of the unexpected!)
One of Twevven’s Little Life Stories Story: Ian Burns Illustrations: Lauren Eldridge-Murray
First published Copyright (Text) Ian Burns, 2009 Copyright (Illustrations) Lauren Eldridge-Murray, 2009 National Library of Australia Cataloguing in Publication data: Author: Burns, Ian Bernard Graham, 1939Illustrator: Eldridge-Murray, Lauren, 1986Title: Twevven and the horrible big bigger biggest baby burp ISBN: 978-0-9806606-5-4 (pbk.) Series: Twevven’s Little Life Stories Dewey Number: A823.4 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the copyright owner. This is a work of fiction. Font: Myriad Pro 14pt Web: www.thegreathallofdreams.com Design: Lauren Eldridge-Murray
Twevven was in a spot of trouble. This was not unusual… …even though he didn’t like trouble, very much.
But trouble seemed to like Twevven. Sometimes a little trouble. Sometimes a lot of trouble. Sometimes more trouble than a spoonful of honey on a bear’s-nose. And, sometimes, a little trouble and a lot of trouble and a spoonfulof-honey-on-a-bear’s-nose trouble all at once. And today was going to be a little-trouble-and-a-lotof-trouble-and-a-spoonful-of-honey-on-a-bear’s-nosetrouble-all-at-once kind of day. But Twevven didn’t know this.
He was in Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle’s cake and lolly shop, buying some lollies, and a cake. Or it might have been eleven cakes. And already his thumb had got stuck in a jam and cream bun with icing sugar on top.
‘Twevven!’ said Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle. ‘You must wait till you get home!’ ‘I’m sorry, Mrs Pinchbuckle,’ said Twevven, licking his thumb. ‘That’s all right, Twevven,’ said Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle, ‘it was only a little trouble…this time.’
Twevven reached into his pocket for some money. Uh oh… He reached into his other pocket. Uh oh…Uh oh… He looked at Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle…
Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle looked at Twevven. ‘Have you forgotten your money, Twevven, again?’ Twevven looked at his toes. ‘Well,’ said Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle, ‘you can do a job for me instead.’ Twevven stopped looking at his toes. ‘You can mind baby Joshtinkle for me while I mind the shop.’
Twevven thought he’d go home and get his purse instead. ‘Come with me,’ said Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle, taking his hand, ‘there are no customers here at present.’ Twevven thought about his purse, and he thought about baby Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle.
‘Here we are,’ said Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle, in the back room of her house, behind her cake and lolly shop. ‘The nursery.’ And Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle, the baby. ‘Isn’t he beautiful!’
Twevven thought that it was beautiful outside. And that it was probably beautiful inside his purse. And that it was certainly beautiful down at the beach on a hot sunny day, with his sun hat on, building sand castles before the waves washed them away… ‘Oh! There’s the shop bell! A customer. I must go. Look after him, Twevven.’
Twevven watched the door close. Twevven listened as Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle’s footsteps disappeared with Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle. Twevven smelt trouble. Twevven SMELT trouble!! Twevven SMELT TROUBLE!!!
And he heard something. It might have been a burp. He looked at Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle, lying on his back in the cot. ‘Oh,’ said Twevven, ‘I’d better get him out.’ Twevven had never done this before.
He bent over and picked Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle up. And he heard something again. It might have been a burp. Or it might have been a tummy rumble. But whatever it was it definitely smelled. Twevven didn’t hold Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle too close as he put the baby burper down on the changing table.
Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle looked up at Twevven. Twevven looked down at Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle, and held his nose.
And he heard something again, but it wasn’t a burp, because Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle had his mouth closed. And he didn’t think that it was just a tummy rumble, because the noise was everywhere, but mainly from the bottom area. ‘What is that noise? Where is the noise?’ said Twevven, as he bent over the baby again.
SPLAT!!!!!!!!
Twevven discovered exactly where the noise was coming from, because it happened again.
SPLATT!!!!!!! It wasn’t a burp. It wasn’t a rumble. It was the BIGGEST bottom burp Twevven had ever heard!!!
It blew Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle’s nappy off. Right off. Right off Joshtinkle Pinchbuckle. Right off the changing table. Right onto Twevven!!!!! Right onto Twevven’s head! Right onto Twevven’s face!! Right on to Twevven’s everything!!! And the nappy was
!!!!!!!!!!!
FULL!!!!!!!!
said Twevven, blowing bubbles.
And he staggered backwards‌
Down the passage‌
Into the shop‌
‘Twevven!’ shouted Mrs Flowerdale Pinchbuckle. ‘What’s happened?! ‘Where’s Joshtinkle?!! ‘What’s that on your head??!! ‘What’s that SMELL???!!! ‘WHERE ARE YOU GOING???!!!!’
‘I’m going to get my purse!’ gasped the nappy, running out the door.
Or… …was it… … Twevven?
Twevven’s Little Life Stories – and their secrets
www.thegreathallofdreams.com