Friendship Soulsucker

Do you remember what it was like when you first walked in your freshman year? It was the beginning of the year, we all had a blank slate as we looked at hundreds of strangers all at once. It felt confusing and even overwhelming because there was no definite conclusion of who we were going to associate with. We fell into random groups because whether we want to admit it or not, it felt more comfortable being with people we weren’t sure of rather than being alone. But as time went on, it became obvious that certain people didn’t align.

But it’s okay.

At the beginning of the year a lot of people I know, including myself, attended the Eurekaweek as well as the IBCoM introduction days. During both events, everyone, like myself, was randomly assigned to a group. Personally, I do not shy away from any social contact and tend to be more extroverted and talk to people in order to get to know them. However, like with many other situations like these in my life before, I either felt this automatic bond with someone and just “clicked” or there was no spark, no connection which made it hard to find a common ground on which a relationship could be built onto.

Although it might not feel very pleasant and polite to acknowledge that some people are just not your type of people, let me tell you one thing, it is okay.

I used to be a girl who would enjoy being friends with everyone, however, over the years I gained new experiences and learned to understand the various impressions I had of people.

Now, that I have decided to only befriend the people where I do not feel as if the friendship is forced, I feel more content with both myself and my social environment.

The essence I want you to take away from this anecdote, is that it is totally acceptable to not be friends with everyone, do not force yourself to be surrounded by negativity or even hatred, but purely with the people that make you feel good and happy. Embrace such friendships and invest your time in the people you truly love, because time is too precious to waste.

We’ve all run into people we love, and others that aren’t our cup of tea. But of course, it’s inevitable. Just because a person’s personality doesn’t necessarily align with yours, does not mean there’s anything wrong with them or you—it’s just about understanding those differences and allowing yourself to move on. It’s a skill of life to be more self-aware of your needs in these moments. Obviously it’s important to not to be rude to those who aren’t your ride or die friends, but it’s definitely okay and respectable to draw certain boundaries.

At the end of the day, you ultimately choose who you give your energy to, and time is precious so who are you going to give it to?

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Written by: Crystal & Antonia