See What Mummy Says Pregnancy In Lockdown

Pregnancy In Lockdown

Being pregnant at any time can make you feel more vulnerable, tired and emotional!

Throw in a global pandemic that threatens your business, social isolation, minimal contact with healthcare professionals and it makes for a pregnancy you hadn’t quite imagined…

We spent a long time deciding if having a third child was the right decision for us and our family.

After losing our son’s twin in pregnancy, we never quite felt complete with the two children we have (we absolutely adore both our children, but when you prepare for having three children and suddenly that’s not happening, it can be hard not to feel like something or someone is missing).

Having decided we did want to extend our family, we were fortunate enough to fall pregnant quickly and settled into pregnant life. Because of our previous miscarriages, we hadn’t shared our news with many people except our immediate family and very close friends before Covid hit.

Even the kiddies didn’t know… we were waiting for our twenty-week scan to make sure everything was ok first. The scan was booked and I was called the day before to be told I had to attend alone. Tom couldn’t come in. Cue instant tears!

The next day, Tom waited in the car park whilst I entered the scan waiting room alone. Having previously received devastating news, I was extremely nervous. The waiting room was set out two metres apart and only a couple of other women were around. I was called into the scan room with a sonographer and another staff member who explained what we were looking for. I cannot fault the staff as they kept things as normal as normal could be!

I asked if I could video some of the scan to show Tom, but unfortunately at the time this wasn’t allowed (only days later, this was changed to

allow a video to be taken and a free picture to share with your partner. I believe routine scans after 27 th July will be allowing a partner again and therefore no longer allowing videos / free pictures).

Tom and I were relieved that all was well, and it was lovely to be able to share with him what we were having. However, I could not wait to get out and have his support again even in the form of a cuddle or some words of reassurance.

We decided even during this time we were going to make the reveal to the children extra special. We had arranged a treasure hunt around the house with clues for them to work out to tell them we were having a baby and decided to get a balloon to pop to tell them if they were having a brother or sister!

Only days later… lockdown!

Suddenly I was considered vulnerable and there was confusion over whether pregnant women should be socially distancing or isolating. Being self-employed also threw in its problems and unfortunately, the pregnancy very quickly became a second thought.

I know how awful that sounds but something had to give, and mentally, I had to prioritise with one thing at a time. The guidance for work in childcare was changing continuously and I knew baby was safely tucked up oblivious to what was going on in the outside world (the best place to be by the sounds of it).

Pregnant women were being advised to limit contact / face to face work from 28 weeks but when you’re already taking minimal maternity leave, this isn’t feasible. I was also thinking of the families I would be letting down who wouldn’t be able to perform their own key worker roles as well as ensuring the business would survive the crisis. How do you choose between keeping your baby safe, protecting your other family and affording to live?

Midwife contact was understandably reduced to only being face to face for some appointments and the rest being completed over the telephone.

Being unable to see friends and family, who are your usual support network, made some times extremely hard… and then there is Tom.

I can’t help but think it must have taken its toll on him too as my usual rock while he was also working full time (I can’t help but wonder how those who have no support network or generally struggle anyway with their mental health will have coped with such a lack of support all around)

I found some brilliant groups on Facebook which are directly linked to the NNUH such as maternity voices Norwich, NNUH bumps and babies and NNUH MVP COVI-19 Baby Group all of which have up to date information on the current situation and running of maternity services at the hospital.

Being pregnant in lockdown with the everchanging guidelines has certainly been challenging at times, unique and not what we had expected when we planned to have another baby.

It has meant the majority of the pregnancy has flown by and we are only now really starting to think about the baby more, although we will certainly have a tale to tell them when they are older!

As the end draws nearer, I find myself worrying about the end of the pregnancy. At present, the NNUH allows one birthing partner to be with you when you are in established labour and they have to wear masks throughout.

If you have to be induced, you are joined by your partner once you start active labour and moved to delivery suite except in visiting times between 2pm and 6pm (this is also the case if staying on a ward postnatally). Everything goes through your mind: what if I need to be induced or I go overdue? I can have a birthing partner present at the birth, but what about after I’ve had the baby? How old will they be before people can see them or hold them? What about postnatal care for the baby if we have any issues?

I feel guilty that they won’t have the same opportunities our other children had. For example, no toddler groups and very different pregnancy memories.

I’ve been reminded through various points that we are loved by both family and friends. I was even thrown a surprise zoom baby shower recently which was lovely! It made things feel a little more ‘normal’ (if there is such a thing at the minute!).

I have no doubt in my mind that the care we will receive at the hospital when we have the baby will be brilliant and the team at the NNUH have been fantastic so far throughout the pregnancy.

The feedback on the NNUH bumps and babies page certainly seems to suggest that to be the case too!

I can only apologise and thank Tom and our families for putting up with the emotional wreck that I have been at times and hope that for any pregnant women or new mums out there this is some reassurance that what you are feeling is normal and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Thank you for reading,

Becca & “Little Bean” X

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@whatmummysaysuk