After School The UK’s FIRST parent-to-teen education magazine April 2015 £3.99
Approved for
Learning together
100 words clearer to supporting your teen’s studies
Beat The Bully
A.S School chat App!
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Download the NEW
Shortcuts for parents
YOU!
QUICK STEPS
For the perfect Easter dinner!
n What you can do to prevent online bullying from your tee Stay-safe tips for your children online
And...Video Game Ratings: Explained Secret Sex Edu. tips!
content/APRIL 2015
CONTENT ARTICLES 20
SEX EDUCATION How to talk to your child about sex!
21
VIDEOGAME RATINGS (EXPLAINED) What the label actually means.
REGULARS 7
SHORTCUT FOR PARENTS 100 words about the book Holes.
10 THEATRE REVIEW
`The curious incident of the dog in the night-time`.
22 DEAR MARTHA
Ask Martha anything!
24 TED TALK REVIEW 25 TEXT BOOK REVIEW
Summary of the book `Dear Jelly... Letters from the first world war`
27 EVENTS/CROSSWORD/SUDUKO
FEATURES 8
COOK WITH YOUR TEENAGER Make a delicious easter meal with your child!
11 PROFILE: KUMON WORKER
How it is like working as a Kumon worker.
13 SILENT BULLY
Cyberbullying amongst teenagers and children, and what you can do to stop it!
18 ADHD
Growing up with the disorder.
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content/STAFF
From the editor “Who said being a parent cannot be fun?� ASHWIN BHANDARI sub editor
Ida Akerstedt, Editor
There is no denying that being a teenage parent can be hard. As your child is growing up and entering the teenage years, it can be more and more difficult to keep up with not only their school work but their personal life as well. We understand that talking to and understanding your child might present a challenge. We have written about how to cook with your teenager as a fun and educational activity for both parent and child. Cooking together can create opportunities for learning together as well as quality time. Who said being a parent cannot be fun? Another topic we have written about is something many parents dread, namely `The talk`. You should not rely on the school system for educating your child about sex, when you can do it yourself. We present to you an easy guide on how to talk to your child about intercourse and everything that comes with it. It does not have to be awkward, but could rather be a bonding experience. Furthermore, as we are living in a digital era, bullies who previously used physical violence and name-calling are now hiding behind screens and cell phones. In this way, the bullying can be more constant and occur at any time. In this issue we have written about the difficulties of cyberbullying, hopefully to give you a broader understanding of this silent bully.
Ida Akerstedt, editor
Get the boys involved Page 8
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The silent bully Page 13
Growing up with ADHD Page 18
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HAMZA SHARIF sub editor
LEE BOOBYER art director A SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS: Beth Brewster Martin Tulleit Kingston University Jagger print Sam Roff Larry B. Silver
Ask Martha! Page 22
content/LETTERS
LETTERS FROM READERS What do you think about AS? Have your say by mail, Facebook, Twitter or by post THIS MONTH`S WINNING LETTER I am a 43-year-old secretary with three children. My eldest daughter started secondary school last autumn and has started asking for more and more unhealthy food and snacks for her lunch box. I am trying to not give in, but it is very difficult. But, when I read your article in the last issue (March issue) about how to make your own healthy and delicious lunch it solved the problem! Now I keep my daughter healthy and happy and she loves the treats I make her. I did not even think about how much a healthy lunch has to say for a child`s focus and energy. Thank you for helping me create a healthy life style for me and my children! Ever since I read the piece, I have been more conscious about what I eat and the food I prepare. Thank you After School magazine! Natalie Tucker, by email
SHORTCUTS I have two teenaged boys in Secondary school and I just wanted to say thank you for helping me understand their life a little better. The article about how children feel when they are not succeeding in school (February issue) really helped me understand some of what my boys are going through! Marisa Heath UNDERSTANDING I bought this magazine for the first time last month. Filled with tips, tricks and stories to help me with my teenager it made the gap between me and my boy seem a bit smaller. I especially enjoyed reading the `shortcut for parents` article. Your article about the book “Into That Forrest”, which my son is currently doing a book report on for school, really helped me help him. Maureen McKenzie
RESTAURANTS I loved the ‘restaurants to take your teenager’ article in the last months issue! My 15-year-old daughter never wants to be seen with me in public, and it is really difficult to do stuff with her. But, the lunch place recommended was really lovely. We talked and ate, and it was great. Fantastic food and nice service! Thank you for wonderful tips, we had a great time! Heather Olson
Email us at letters@afterschool.co.uk, Facebook us at facebook.com/afterschool, tweet us at twitter.com/afterschool or write to us at After School, 15 Jemmett Close, Kingston upon Thames KT2 7AJ, England.
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Shortcut For Parents
shortcut/HOLES
H
Relax. Sidestep all
the complications of your teen’s homework and cut right to basics
Holes
by Louis Sachar
How much?
Holes, by Louis Sachar, is a book that will appeal to adults and children alike. It is essentially three stories in one, all beautifully intertwined. Stanley Yelnats is set a task whilst placed in a detention camp. The camp owner forces him to dig holes all over the dry lake bed on her land, ostensibly to build his character but actually she is searching for buried treasure. As the story unfolds, it covers the issues of bullying, friendship, abuse of power, and injustice. There are twists and turns along the way and Stanley uncovers a mystery that changes everything.
ÂŁ5.99
Where from? Waterstones
OR...
watch the film!
L E S
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Only Two Hours of FUN & COOKING
Ingredients For the lamb
• 4 tbsp vegetable oil • 2.5-3kg/5lb 8oz-6lb 8oz leg of lamb, bone in For the salt crust • 1.25kg/2lb 12oz table salt (without anticaking additives) • 175g/6oz free-range egg white (about 4-5 large egg whites)
For the salsa verde • • • • • •
1 garlic clove, crushed to a paste 2 anchovy fillets, finely chopped 15g/½oz fresh flatleaf parsley, chopped 10g/¼oz fresh mint, chopped 4 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil ½ tsp red wine vinegar
cooking together/EASTER
Salt-baked leg of Lamb with Salsa Verde
Baking the lamb, rather than roasting it, gives it a different texture and a more succulent taste. Cooking on the bone stops the muscles in the leg retracting and squeezing out the moisture, and combined with the effects of the steam generated inside the salt crust, and the salt absorbed during cooking, all make the lamb incredibly moist and tender.
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Before anything remove the lamb from the fridge about three hours before you wish to cook it to allow it to rise to room temperature to get an even bake.
A thick pot will do
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On a flat baking tray, spread a 1.5cm/5/8in layer of the salt crust mixture in the rough shape of the leg of lamb. Place the leg of lamb on top of the salt mixture. Then spread your salsa on top of the lamb.
The mittens
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Remove the leg of lamb from the oven and leave to rest for 30 minutes, during which time the meat will continue to cook and the juices will permeate in the residual heat.
When serving lift the leg from the base of the crust onto a chopping board and carve into slices to serve.
Lets get cooking
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In a large, heavy roasting tray, heat the vegetable oil over a high heat. Fry the lamb in the vegetable oil for two minutes on each side until evenly coloured. Remove from the heat and leave to rest for 15 minutes.
Not the dance routine
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Whilst observing get your teen to use a spatula and evenly cover the leg of lamb in the remaining salt crust mixture. Ensuring that the leg is completely covered with the sides meeting the base. Make sure there are no holes. The meat must be carefully sealed inside the crust for the baking method to work.
2 4
This is your part. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/ Gas 4. While preparing the lamb with any herbs of your choice.
Get the young ones whisking. For the salt crust, in a large mixing bowl whisk together the salt and egg whites until even mixed and light and fluffy (whisking in a free-standing mixer for about one minute will achieve this result). The salt will perfectly season the meat to the core. The salt draws out some of the moisture from the meat; this dissolves the salt and then the salt is absorbed back into the meat. The crust also absorbs a lot of heat giving an even pink colour to the meat.
Lets start the count
Careful with the shells
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Get your teen to carefully carry the baking tray to the oven and bake the salt-encrusted lamb in there for about 50 minutes. Remember to check the temperature.
Lastly, do not forget to
always get the boys to do the cleaning
Take a lamb selfie
Now enjoy the perfect lamb Easter Dinner. And like the French say...
Garlic and rosemary
Bon Appetit
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By H. S.
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review/THEATRE
The curious incident of the dog at night-time Based on the bestselling book by Mark Haddon, a 15-year-old with high functioning autism, defies all expectations in his search to find out who killed his next door neighbour’s dog. While obviously sometimes it can be incredibly difficult for a theatre production to replicate the spirit of the original material that it’s based upon, Curious Incident manages to capture and enhance this perfectly. When Christopher’s teacher Siobhan reads his book, she suggests that it is turned into a full on stage production, thus transforming the show into meta- fiction. While initially this may detract from the original focus of the plot, the retractable elements of the stage and the stunning visuals beautifully bring Christopher’s imagination and thoughts to life. In turn, this also helps the audience truly understand his fears and
THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT TIME Buy it for £8.99 at: www.waterstone.com
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anxieties thought the play, such as when Siobhan tries to show him different facial expressions and doesn’t understand them, as well as constructing an elaborate train set during the angry, The Curious Incident play argumentative moments in at the Apollo Theatre the background. While at times it seems like the visuals drag out more moments as opposed to making them more dramatic, the scene where Christopher loses his pet rat toby in a London Underground station is gut wrenchingly tense to watch. What makes the production even more special is Alex Sharp’s captivating performance as the 15-year old Christopher. At times, it’s almost unbearable to watch him as he crawls up in anguish and fear as he refuses to be touched, or has to deal with situations that are severely outside his comfort zone. Without spoiling too much however, there is a special treat at the end of the show for avid fans of the book, and young mathematicians alike. Alex Sharp returns to the stage, and demonstrates how to work out the maths question listed at the very end of the book, using all the grids and special sections of the stage to ‘work it out’. It’s a nice little touch to one of the The Curious Incident play most inspiring stories that at the Apollo Theatre the 00’s blessed modern literature with. By A.B.
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The Curious Incident play at the Gielgud Theatre
The Curious Incident play at the Apollo Theatre
DID YOU KNOW?
In 2007, The Curious Incident was banned in Glavenston County and Friendswood County in Texas. Mayor Kimball Brizendine member Chris Peden went a step further, asserting to the January 28 Galveston County Daily News that while he hadn’t read Curious Incident in its entirety, he had noted that the ‘F word’ appeared on page four and that ‘later in the book, the [lead character] says there is no God and there is no life after death. Clearly, these are not ideas we should promote to kids’.
AAday in the life of a DAY IN THE LIFE Kumon Tutor. OF A KUMON TUTOR profile/KUMON WORKER
Formed in 1954 by a Japanese Father who helped his son that was struggling with Maths, the private education programme has taken the world by storm. With over 7,500 locations in 48 different countries, Ashwin Bhandari speaks to Samantha Roff who teaches at the Kingston North Centre
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Samantha Roff
A: What previous experience did you gain in the field of education before joining Kumon?
S.R: After I completed my degree, my professional background was in corporate Information Technology, having worked at PriceWaterhouse and British Airwaves. I took a career break to look after my children I returned to work in local schools, first as a teaching assistant and then in IT, and then became a Kumon Instructor for the reward of working with children.
A: What benefits do you see from Kumon compared to other private tutoring programes? S.R: Through the Maths and English programmes, Kumon nurtures a child’s
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independent study skills, so they can apply this approach to all subjects and outside of school too. Kumon develops children through the acquisition of independent learning skills, rather than teaching in the conventional sense. A child will therefore be equipped with the ability to learn for themselves so they do not become dependent on – or limited by – the skills and knowledge of others. Kumon works through daily study, 365 days a year. Students complete their studies through worksheets completed at home and once per week attend the Study Centre, so that they can be observed and guided by myself. Doing this, students often study in advance of their school level, sometimes up to 3 years ahead.
A: What challenges do you face with the people you teach/ help on a day to day basis? S.R: When guiding a student who is working on challenging work, which is often work they have not yet studied at school, it is important to make sure that the student remains
motivated and has the tools needed to persevere. This involves my guiding them with strategies in order to approach the work and engage with the worksheets, such as checking their method, guiding them to use examples and make leaps in learning for themselves. I also elicit feedback from them about how the child is working at home, so that I can advise them on how to address any problems.
A: What advise would you give to parents wanting to help their children out with their schoolwork for the first time?
S.R: I think it is important to find a programme of work which is structured and provides appropriate resources, so that the parent does not find they are struggling to decide what work their children should be doing and finding it hard to measure progress. They need to think about when work will fit into their routine, and how they will maintain their child’s interest over the long term, perhaps devising
reward schemes and targets which fit in with how they would like to motivate their child The parents and students who are most successful with this are the ones who have struck the right balance between study and family life, so that study does not become onerous, boring, or get in the way of other activities.
A: Are there any subjects you specialize in?
Kumon run maths and English programmes.
A: What future plans do Kumon centres have in store for their students?
S.R: I have been Instructor at the Kumon Kingston North Study Centre for a year now and in that time have implemented many improvements to the way class is run and most importantly how instruction is provided. In the next few months I will be holding annual progress reviews with parents, and in the Summer attending local school fairs to get involved with the local community.
feature/CYBERBULLYING
The Silent Bully The number of children being bullied online doubled from 2013 to 2014. Half of these children do not tell anyone. Ida Akerstedt reports
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“It is very concerning to see the proportion of younger teens using apps like Tinder.� Andy Phippen, professor of social responsibility in IT at Plymouth University.
A
s a child you will most likely have experienced bullying at school or in the playground. You might not have been the victim, or even the bully, but in some way you saw it. The dirty and ripped up clothes, the bruises or the backpack that was ruined after being tossed in the bin. Usually someone butted in, a teacher or a parent maybe, and in the end the bullying eventually stopped. Now that you are a parent, if your child continuously comes home
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with bruises or scars, you know that something is wrong. But, what if your child did not have any physical signs, how would you know that they were being bullied? As bullies are moving away from physical violence, they are now increasingly opting for a more round-the-clock approach. Cyberbullying may differ from physical bullying, but that does not mean that it is less damaging and hurtful. Cyberbullying is very different from physical bullying because it can occur at any time, at any
place. It is very difficult to distance yourself from the bully when social media and the Internet is such a big part of day-to-day life. Anything posted on the Internet stays there forever and the online bully can be anonymous. It can be difficult, or sometimes impossible, to trace the source and the person. The private and confidential service Childline has seen a 77 per cent increase in call relating to cyberbullying in the last 12 months. However, a study from the anti-bullying organisation DitchTheLabel found that
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over half of the young people who experience abuse never report it. Of the ten thousand teenagers polled, 62 per cent had received nasty private messages on their phones via social media network applications. The study also found that 25 per cent of the people who had experienced abuse did not know the person, and 21 per cent said the person was anonymous. Also, many teenagers enjoy owning a smart phone, tablet or computer, where they have immediate access to all social platforms. They are always
feature/CYBERBULLYING
STAY-SAFE TIPS 1. Speak out. Tell a trusted adult like your parents or your teacher. A trusted adult is someone you believe will listen and who has the knowledge and authority to help you.
online. And despite some social media applications, such as Tinder, essentially targeted at an older audience, teenagers as young as 13 use the app to interact and talk to older people. Andy Phippen, professor of social responsibility in IT at Plymouth University, said: “It is very concerning to see the proportion of younger teens using apps like Tinder, whose aim is essentially hook-ups and dating, and very much for an adult audience. “These apps also share location-based information and can be used as platforms
for grooming and abuse.” The social media app Snapchat is also highly popular among the youngsters. Of the young people polled, 65 per cent said they used Snapchat several times a day. “I mostly just have people that I know on Snapchat, but I sometimes get random people adding me,” said 13-year-old Carl Briseid. Snapchat was the second most downloaded app on iTunes the previous year, and 700 million photos circulate the app on a daily basis. You choose how
2. Block them. If you get mean messages through social network sites, take the person of your friends list and block them.
networking site, take the person off your friends list and block them. 4. Do not respond. If you get nasty messages or comments, save and print out the messages. If the bullying continues, you save all evidence.
3. If you get mean messages through social
5. Talk to a friend. When someone makes you feel bad, sometimes it can help to talk the situation over with someone.
many seconds the person you send the photo to can see it, but it is easy to take a screenshot and save the picture forever. Although cyberbullying is rapidly growing, teenagers are not exactly trying to stop it. According to the Internet safety organisation i-SAFE, 95 per cent of teenagers who witness bullying on social media do
not tell anyone. “I have never experienced cyberbullying, but I know a couple that have,” said 14-year-old Renata Amezcua. She kept her findings to herself. The largest organisations for young people, Do Something, said that boys are more likely to both cyberbully and be the victims of it because
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feature/CYBERBULLYING boys and girls bully in different ways. Whilst girls often use emotional tactics, boys tend to be more aggressive and physical. Online, that means that boys are more likely to send threats and hateful messages, whilst girls exclude or ignore each other. “Some of the boys at my school started a Facebook page where they talked badly about another student at our school. I wasn`t part of it, but the school found out and shut it down. It was very cruel,” said Carl. What`s even more disturbing is that the role of the victim and the bully is often reversed. The person receiving the hateful messages might end up as the bully, and it becomes a game of who can be the meanest. This is a vicious cycle, and children experiencing hateful messages ought to tell someone. Last year, 2000 children and 2000 adults were polled by the Internet security firm McAfee, before antibullying week. They then compared their findings with a similar study from
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the previous year. The study found that many parents are having a more relaxed attitude towards their children using social media and about 67 per cent of the parents said they are allowing their children to be on the Internet without supervision.
that their parents are not familiar with today`s technology and that the advice did not apply. Furthermore, the study found that less than a third of the parents, 27 per cent, said they were worried about their child being a victim of cyberbullying.
“Some of the boys at my school started a Facebook page where they talked badly about another student from our school... It was very cruel.” Carl Briseid, 13 year old. “My mum knows that I use social media every day and I am friends with her on Facebook, the only problem is that she doesn`t know how to use social media so I don`t really think she understands what is going on,“ said Carl. Both Renata and Carl said that their parents have told them to be careful online, but they both said
In 2013, almost half of the parents worried about their children being online. Mother-of-three Tessa Barrientos, 50, said: “Of course I talked to them [her daugters] about cyber safety. I always told my kids that there were many dangers in a world where they did not necessarily know the people they were getting in contact with,
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and that it was very important to never get in touch with strangers.” The law requires all UK state schools to have antibullying policies. However, schools are allowed to choose which policies and how to implement them and most schools are starting to realise the increasingly threat of online bullying. “My school has had several anti-cyberbullying workshops,” said Carl. “They [her school] told me to be really careful with the people I add on any social media, and I agree with them,” said Renata. Cyberbullying, as well as physical bullying, cause significant emotional and physical distress to children. Victims experience anxiety, fear, depression and low self-esteem and some even have suicidal thoughts. To find out if your child is a victim of cyberbullying you need to involve yourselves, get on social media, communicate, and talk to the school and other parents. No child should be a victim of cyberbullying.
GROWING UP WITH THE DISORDER the kids who didn’t “outgrow it”
C
hildren may go through ordinary phases where they are restless or inattentive, however attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, commonly known by its abbreviation ADHD, is a reality for many. Defined as a group of behavioural symptoms that include inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsiveness, estimates suggest it affects around two to five per cent of school-aged children. Symptoms of ADHD tend to be first noticed at an early age, and may become more noticeable when a child’s circumstances change, such as when they start school. As most cases are diagnosed in children between the ages of six and 12.
“While headlines in the press proclaimed ‘ADHD Riddle Solved,’ most articles left out researchers’ warnings that the findings should not be taken as permission to stop ADHD medication.” He argued: “Forthcoming study shows that the cortex is more likely to reach maximum growth in those with ADHD who remain on medication.” Until the early 1990s, the medical community considered the condition a ‘childhood disorder.’ Believing that children outgrew ADHD, physicians routinely took them off medication before secondary school. In many cases, however, the teens struggled socially and academically, making it clear that ADHD symptoms had not gone away.
“Outgrowing ADHD” On December 4, 2007, The National Academy of Sciences, suggested in their findings (but did not confirm) that a developmental delay in the brain’s cortex may cause symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Once the cortex matures, many ADHD children seem to outgrow the disorder. Dr. Larry Silver, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, said:
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Carrying the label on their head to secondary school is a very difficult task for a child who was most likely diagnosed at a young age. Then going through the daily struggles, with the attached stigma of the condition and the pressure
to fit in and socialise; can all but make a child’s secondary school experience a nightmare. Even if the appropriate help is available for both the child and parent; the question that arises is, what about the time spent outside the home? Especially those 1,170 hours – a – year that the child will spend in school at the secondary level. “Do most schools in the country have teachers who are trained with the skills required to implement educational intervention and classroom management strategies?” “Can the school afford a special needs teaching assistant for the classroom to help the ADHD pupils?” These are the questions a parent with an ADHD child must consider when making school choices; that is before the transition from primary to secondary school. Experts in child behaviour and psychiatry say ADHD is a condition that is along a spectrum. Dr. Saroj Jamdar, a community paediatrician, said: “How to manage children with ADHD depends on where they belong on the spectrum.” She added: “Children with mild ADHD can be managed by suiting
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the environment to their needs while medication still remains as an option,
Get advice
we only recommend it for more severe cases.” So where does this leave the parents? Behaviour management and nonpharmacological treatments are what the experts advise to do. A specialised parent skills training and family therapy are the alternatives a family can seek to manage the condition. All sounding very costly especially at times of austerity and government cuts to the public sector. NHS England published in January this year in a parliamentary hearing a fall in children’s mental health spending by six per cent. That is an equivalent to £50 million in real terms. Therefore, when parents consider going private instead of the NHS to get the best help for their children, they’re forced to do so in most cases. They’re also limited for choice and are putting more financial burden on their shoulders. Time, effort, money and
feature/ADHD
[interview
[
“
Larry B. Silver, M.D. is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. His primary areas of interest have focused on the psychological, social and family impact of a group of related, neurologically-based disorders – learning disabilities, language disabilities, sensory integration dysfunction and ADHD. He has more than 150 publications, including the popular book, “The Misunderstood Child, A Guide for Parents of Children with Learning Disabilities.”
What are the most common findings with ADHD diagnosis?
I recently diagnosed eight-year-old Aidan with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD). When I met with his parents to explain the disorder, each time I described a symptom, his mother exclaimed, “That’s me!” or “I’ve been like that all my life, too.” At the end of the appointment, she asked me if she should be evaluated, as well. As an adult, Aidan’s mother had jumped from job to job, and had difficulty meeting household demands. As a child, she had struggled through school, often getting into trouble and getting poor grades.
After a thorough evaluation of her chronic and pervasive history of hyperactivity, distractibility, and other symptoms of ADHD, she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist who works with adults. Aidan and his mother both started on ADHD medication. Aidan’s grades and behaviour improved. His mom reported being more relaxed and efficient at work and at home. On a follow-up visit, she remarked, “If only I had been on medication as a child. I could have finished college, I could....” Then she paused: “Oh,
my gosh, does this mean that Aidan will take medication for the rest of his life?” Good question. The best answer I could give was, “Possibly.” Why can’t I be more specific? Didn’t she deserve a clearer answer? Clinically, we have seen that some individuals do show enough improvement after puberty that they no longer need medication. But the American Academy of Family Physicians reports that two-thirds of children with ADHD continue to grapple with the condition throughout adulthood.
How do you determine whether a particular child still needs medication? I advise taking children and adolescents off medication once a year. If the symptoms of hyperactivity, inattention, and/or impulsivity are no longer noticeable, they stay off. Should these behaviours return, medication should be restarted. This process teaches adolescents about the challenges ADHD presents in their lives, and how to determine
themselves whether medication is needed in school, at home, with friends, and so on. Medication should be used whenever symptoms interfere with the demands and expectations of a specific task or activity. It is not necessarily needed all day, every day. For example, a college student may learn that she benefits from an eight-hour
capsule to cover morning and afternoon classes, but can be off medication while she relaxes, exercises, or socializes later in the day. On evenings when she needs to study, she can take a four-hour tablet at about 6 p.m. An adult may find that he needs medication at work but not at home, or for some social functions, but not others.
”
Will a child need medication for the rest of his life?
Possibly. You can find out one year at a time. And, if medication is needed, you can teach him to use it for specific times and situations. In the future, I hope that fewer adults will tell me, “If only I had been on medication as a child.”
research are all a fraction of the daily routine for the parents of an ADHD diagnosed child. 40 per cent of children with ADHD also develop oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). Symptoms of ODD include: chronic aggression, frequent outbursts, tendency to argue, tendency to ignore requests and tendency to engage in intentionally annoying behaviour. This then makes it hard for
the parent to deal with their child regularly, without the appropriate training.
Charlotte and James
Charlotte Fisher, an ADHD adult with two diagnosed children, Jazmine, 11, and James, 7. said: “I do try and ignore some of
the behaviour. She added “I suppose a lot of parents if they were called a b*tch the hard-line discipline will come out, but it just doesn’t work.” Life is not so pleasant for both the child and the parent when trying to gain control over ADHD. So gettimg help and professional advice is the first step, inspite of the difficulties involved. And for millions around the world this is their everyday story.
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You can read more about Dr. Silver’s monthly publications on: http:// www.additudemag com/authorID/12.html You can find out more about ADHD in adulthood by visiting: http://aadduk.org/
By: H. S.
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article/WILLY OR PENIS
? is n e P r o y l l i W
s Which words to use with your kid Many parents hope
that their teenager’s school will teach their children about sex and relationships. However, with the spectre of teen pregnancies, flourishing sexuallytransmitted infections and rising, divorce rates; it has probably never been more important to have the talk about the birds and the bees first hand. Unfortunately, while the teachers are having their lunch breaks, the pupils find out themselves whilst gathered round monkey bars and swings. Young love, heartbreak and fiery flirtation encapsulates every syllable the moment the bell rings (and inbetween). Sex-ed classes simply cannot compete with the depth and speed teenagers are learning via the blackhole of playground gossip. Surely, if sex-ed is delivered by teachers with the lightest timetables on a Friday afternoon, is it any wonder teenagers substitute their education while being self-taught through life experiences? Obviously some will ask each other. However, would not you prefer the facts delivered to your child in a sensitive way by a knowledgeable adult? This needs to be you instead. To help you, we have compiled a list of the do’s and don’ts:
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1
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2
5
• Pick your timing. Ensure no irritating interruptions or a clash with Loose Women. Be sure as well to choose your place. It can be on a beach, on a mountain, or at home, but preferably not on the bus or at checkout at Tesco. • You never know when your child’s wonder will clutch the wheel of curiosity so be prepared for the unexpected. Admit what you do and do not know, and agree to find out information together.
‘Dong’ will not cut it in 2015. Or ever.
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• Honour each question. Ensure your child feels heard and that none of their questions are too silly. In addition, use words and terms you’re comfortable with. Willy or penis both work as euphemisms for most children, but “dong” will not cut it in 2015. Or ever.
• Walk a sensitive line with discussion about gay and transgendered identity because these days you never know if your teen’s curiosity is more than it appears and if this conversation will be a turning point.
• Explain that porn-stars have impossibly perfect bodies and impossibly perfect orgasms, but that real people will always have the real fun. Remember that there can be sex. There can be love. And there can be love with sex. Pornography does not and should not provide your teenager with all the substantial information they need to have a healthy relationship. It is your job!
Helpful
Books
Teenagers Translated How to raise a happy teen
£9.59, Amazon.co.uk Jayne Downshire + Naella Grew
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• Finally, hold in your heart and head why you are doing this. Expanding your child’s mind and educating them about body, healthy emotions, how to make friends, fall in love, have sex, make babies, and break How to talk with your kids about sex ups are all crucial parts of £6.97, Amazon.co.uk parenting. You must ensure the start of your teen’s journey of growing up crosses the threshold of adolescence fully prepared. By L. B.
www. afterschool.co.uk
John Chirban
article/VIDEOGAME
Video Game Ratings: Explained Parents, there is no legal playing age for video games, only for selling the product itself. With that being said, it’s not the content that’s to blame here, but rather your own level of responsibility on what you think is appropriate for your child to view/play. With that in mind, here’s a quick guide to PEGI ratings for video games. By A.B. The video game will include drug refrerences or useage. You will usually find this symbol on games that are 12+ or over, content.
The video game will contain bad language. At a 12rating this will be mild swearing but at a 16 rating and above it will include sexual expletives.
The video game will contain content regarding racial abuse or discrimination.
The video game will contain depictions of violence. Anything about a 12+
The video game may contain horrific sounds or effects which may be shocking or cause revulsion to the viewer.
The video game allows players to access the internet and play online with friends and strangers.
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Q&A/DEAR MARTHA
. . . n e h w o d I What should
The parenting expert is here to solve your valued problems
Q
My 13-yearold daughter getting too thin, I fear this is the start of an eating disorder. What would you advise? Karen Smith, Corby A: This sounds to have been a very worrying period for you, and unfortunately it is becoming all too much of a common problem. The social pressures on young people to look like impossibly slim celebrities and to have the perfect body are all around us and your teen, plus the pressures of social media are constant. Having said that, I am sure you will have tried hugs and late night chats. As these clearly aren’t moving forward, perhaps it is time to talk to a sympathetic GP. Or perhaps she has a good aunt or a friend to intercede.
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Sometimes it takes someone outside a close family circle to encourage a child to open up. Children get very hung up on not disappointing parents and revealing difficulties and weaknesses and almost seem impossible. Please have a look at the website for “beat” (the national association for eating disorders) as it is a very user-friendly site: www.b-eat.co.uk/ Helpline: 0845 634 1414
Email Martha your questions:
martha@ afterschool. co.uk
Q
The Son to my ex was disciplined by mycurrent husband after a furious row.What do I do? Alice Hirst, Watford
A: With adolescence just over the horizon, this situation is more likely to get worse before it gets better so tackling it now seems prudent. Pointing out that one is a good student and one an inclusive parent should help them appreciate each other’s positives. But it
Take a long relaxing walk with your teen
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sounds as if there has been an accumulation of clashes recently. Agreeing on some ground rules for both of them to respect each other and their interests is a good start, but why not start from what they both have in common which is you. If you could sit them both down and explain that you do indeed care for them equally, though obviously in different ways, and tell them that they are both causing you some anxiety, they will most likely listen. You did not explain what you meant when you said your husband ‘disciplined’ your son. If this was grounding him or striking him, then there is clearly a world of difference here. I am sure you feel protective about your son but also have conflicting loyalties towards your husband. Tricky at the best of times and so easy to get it wrong. We have all done that at times! All you can do is tell them honestly how it feels. If, however, you feel your husband has gone too far, then the child needs your loving protection. Is there anyone outside the situation who has noticed anything? This can help you to make a more round judgment. By L.B.
review/SELECTED CLIPS
Technology in Education Sir Ken Robinson – Changing Education Paradigms
Salman Khan – Let’s use Video to reinvent Education
Oct 2010
March 2011
scrutiny, Khan academy can be a useful tool for strengthening any particular subject for a teenager without any cost apart from the broadband and electricity bill. http://www.ted.com/talks/ salman_khan_let_s_ use_video_to_reinvent_ education?language=en
An RSA animation that takes a TED Talk by Sir Ken Robinson and presents it in a visual manner. Sir Robinson calls for an education system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity. He makes an entertaining and profoundly moving case for creating a system in which creativity, as he defines it “the process of original ideas that have value,” should be encouraged. In his opinion creativity is suppressed by imitating an out-dated system of education that operates like a production line. Sir Robinson also talks about the increased diagnoses of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in the United Sates. He illustrates the link that research has shown between standardised testing and suppressing a child’s creativity to ADHD. Sir Robinson’s call to reconsider our education system is nevertheless being ignored five years on. This what makes it relevant today, as a progressive change to improve our education system is required. Especially when Britain is stagnating in the world rankings. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4
“
After his two teenage cousins found his face intimidating on their Skype Maths tuition classes, Sal Khan thought of a way to tutor them online without his face. So the idea of a black board on Microsoft Paint and his voice-over worked really well, then the views started coming on his YouTube channel. Khan in this TED Talk speaks about Khan Academy and how it came into existence and how it is still growing. Khan Academy was the product of the accumulation of those YouTube micro lectures into an organisation. It did not only stop at the micro lectures but it was furthered into a website which features practice exercises and tools for educators with all resources free of charge. With the wide subjects from those first Maths videos to Geology, Khan shows the power of interactive exercises, and calls for teachers to consider flipping the traditional classroom script. He calls for students to watch video lectures at home, and do “homework” in the classroom with the teacher available to help. Despite that being an unrealistic change, as the government sets the curriculum and teachers can come under
Derek A Muller – This Will Revolutionize Education Dec 2014
Derek Muller from the title onwards, in this clip, uses sarcasm to deliver his point that this old cliché “this will revolutionize education” has been exhausted for centuries. While the traditional classroom of a teacher and group of students still stands today. From broadcasting a lecture through a TV in another class to the 1994 giant Video Discs, all predications that never caught up. Muller inspired by his PhD thesis, talks about how incorporating technology in education has always been an over emphasised notion throughout history. Learning aids such as; animations instead of the ordinary static pictures and words, are seen as a more effective method to many. But despite the common belief Muller highlights the research and its findings of no significant difference. He also argues that the job of a teacher isn’t just
to deliver information from their head to a classroom. According to him, if that was the case then that job is obsolete as a YouTube video can just do the same task. Teachers are more than that he says, “their job is to guide the social process of learning, to inspire, to challenge and to excite students to want to learn.” Muller rightly shows that the role of the teacher is much greater than a datadelivering machine. While we appreciate technology and the technological revolution we should not over state the role and impact of technology in our lives. But likewise appreciate teachers and their input to society in educating generations. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=GEmuEWjHr5c
Revision Buddies GCSE apps allow you test your knowledge and understanding of your GCSE subjects with 1000s of multiple choice questions. All questions are original and carefully worked around the exam board syllabuses. Now with past paper! You can download selected GCSE exam past papers and answer sheets using your Revision Buddies App, making it easier for you to test your knowledge against what you really need to know.
”
This Will Revolutionise Education
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Derek Muller
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review/TEXT BOOK We read the book, so you don`t have to:
DEAR JELLY... LETTERS FROM THE FIRST WORLD WAR
Dear Jelly – by Sarah Ridley introduces the reader to the First World War through letters
I
n an ordinary British family of four children, the two oldest brothers, William and Robert, were sent to the front
DEAR JELLY... LETTERS FROM THE FIRST WORLD WAR Buy it for ÂŁ7.99 at: www.waterstone.com
in France in 1915 whilst their sisters, Mable and Eileen (Jelly), stayed in England. Through letter correspondence the siblings
kept in touch with each other. The two brothers drew cartoons, included pictures and wrote about their soldier life to give their sisters some context about the main events from the front line. William and Robert where both fighting the Germans in France they were not placed at the same post, and they never met. In the end, both the brothers die, and the book teaches children of the great losses of the war. The last pages of this short, 96-pages-long book are emotional and might be the most powerful part of the story. After every chapter the author has written a short commentary where she gives the reader a more enjoyable way of learning with facts from the war. With this, the book gives a simple and entertaining understanding of the First World War as it was fought in Belgium and France. Furthermore, the book is perfect for children going in to Secondary School and it can be great for children to read before visiting memorial sites such as museums or cemeteries. By I. A.
www. afterschool.co.uk
A SHORT SUMMARY OF WORLD WAR ONE 1914 - Francis Ferdinand assassinated with his wife at Sarajevo, Bosnia. - German invasion of France and Belgium. - Britain declares war on Germany.
1915 - Stalemate continues on the Western Front. - Gas warfare. - Air warfare. - London attacked from the air by German Zeppelins.
1916 - Artillery duels and attrition. - Conscription for men aged 18-41. - Battle of Verdun. - Battle of Somme. - Hindenburg line.
1917 - German Army retreats to the Hindenburg Line. - Unites States joins the Allied forces. - Battle of Cambrai. - Tank, submarine and gas warfare intensifies.
1918 - Germany launches major offensive on the Western Front. - Allies launch effective counter-offensives at the Marne and Amies. - Armstice signed on November 11, ending the war at 11 am.
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events & games/FUN
EVENTS 20 March
Workfest 2015 Jam-packed with tips, tricks and expert advice to help you with your career and your personal life. Where: Greenwood Place, Highgate Road, London NW5 1LB Time: 12am to 6pm
04 April
Workfest 2015 Our definitive women and work event is back, jam-packed with tips, tricks and expert advice to boost your career. Where: Greenwood Place, Highgate Road, London NW5 1LB Time: 12am to 6pm
15 April
Mumstock 2015 In this powerful conference Carrie Longton (Mumsnet) and Richard Huntington (Saatchi & Saatchi) will share the results of ground breaking research which identifies the roles of being a mum. Where: Kings Place, London, N1 9AG Time: all day
04 May
The work & Family show Two days of exhibitions, workshops and seminars to help parents find the solutions they need to successful combine work and family. Where: Malet Street, London, WC1E 7HU Time: 12am to 8 pm
Every month
Monthly Booster Groups Get award-winning help and support with like-minded women and mums every month. Educational and fun! Where: 272 Holborn, London WC1V 7EY Time: The second Wednesday of every month. 12am to 5pm
2015
Bring Me Sunshine tour 2015 Hosted by bestselling author Rob Parsons, and featuring comedian John Archer, an event for anybody who would appreciate a little … sunshine. Where: Sheffield, Manchester, Bournemouth, Northampton Time: 7.30 pm to 9.30 pm
PUZZLER
CROSSWORDS
Can you beat a teenager?
Across 1-Young parent doesn’t have a problem, being doubly full of energy (7) 6-Lightbeam is intermittently ready (3) 7-Merchants retract point about dart (7) 8-Vibrate at high frequency: about 1000 (7) 12-Be allowed to spring? (3) 13-Wary of mixed-up trend (7)
Did you get it right last time?
Down 1-Upended containers hint at break in race (3,4) 2-Part of longer age! (3) 3-Initially, Ted Danson gets around a little bit (3) 4-Stare at heart of storm (3) 5-Once not counted among the loudest and most inquisitive (7) 9-Skinless thighbone of large bird (3) 10-Made almost insane (3) 11-At first, you’d be about to give word of departure (3)
SUDOKO
Easy
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