Idaho Family March/April 2024

OUR FIRST FRIENDS

Sibling relationships

SAVE YOUR CHILD

Stop gaming addictions

KINDERGARTENREADY KIDS

Start preparing them now

Now more environmentally friendly!

BSU WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

Respect and a bigger audience

A New Horizon staff member reads a book with children in her care.

Volume 12, Number 2

Publisher

J.J. Plew

Associate Publisher

Adrianne Goff adriannegoff@me.com

Cover Photo

New Horizon Academy

Editor

Gaye Bunderson editorgaye@gmail.com

Sales & Marketing

208-697-2043

Contributors

Roxanne Drury, Dennis Lopez, Sarah Lyons, Sandy McDaniel, Stan Popovich, Jenna Shaver

Graphic Design

Carol Smiley csmileydesign@gmail.com

Distribution

Shauna Howard, Doris Evans

Idaho Family Magazine, published monthly by Gem Production Co., LLC, is committed to providing readers with informative and entertaining information to help them in maintaining healthy families and positive lifestyles. It is distributed throughout the valley as a free publication. Idaho Family Magazine does not assume responsibility for statements or opinions expressed by editorial contributors or advertisers. The acceptance of advertising does not constitute an endorsement of the products, services or information. Idaho Family Magazine does not knowingly present any product or service which is fraudulent or misleading in nature. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without express written consent of the publisher. Reader correspondence and editorial submissions are welcome. Idaho Family Magazine reserves the right to edit or reject all materials submitted. All rights reserved. Copyright 2024 by Gem Production Co., LLC.

Children’s Photos Wanted

Idaho Family Magazine would love to put your child or children on our cover. All photos should be high quality, sharp and clear, and high resolution of around 300 ppi. Color photos are preferred, and all photos need to be vertical not horizontal. Please identify the children in the photos, the children’s ages, and what Treasure Valley community they reside in. (If chosen for the cover, their last names will not be used without permission.) Send the photos to editorgaye@gmail.com.

Start now to prepare kids for kindergarten

By Roxanne Drury

The school year is more than half over already. Hard to believe summer will be here before we know it. At this point, parents of pre-kindergarteners should be asking themselves a few questions.

1. How has my child done socially and academically in preschool?

2. Is my child going to be ready for kindergarten?

3. If not, what should I or can I do about it?

The answers to these questions are important for several reasons. First, if you as the parent have these questions answered now, there will be no surprises at the end of the school year. Second, if your child is struggling, there is still time to make adjustments by providing supplemental learning at home.

Question one may be best answered by your child’s teacher. I suggest making an appointment to talk with him/her about your child’s social development. They see your child in an environment filled with tons of opportunities to socialize. Preschool teachers are experts at noticing how children are developing socially. They notice if a child typically plays alone or with others. Does the child take turns, does the child share without prompting, has he or she passed the stage of “mine, mine, mine” and grabbing toys from other children, are they physical with others, are they patient?

Other social skills are equally as important: manners, listening, following directions, and working with others. These are just a few of the social skills that kids develop over time. Learning and developing social skills is a huge part of a child’s overall development and is extremely beneficial in moving them towards positive outcomes both now and in the future. In fact, according to a study published in the American Journal of Public Health, a child’s social and emotional skills in kindergarten might be the biggest predictor of success in adulthood.

One idea to help parents assess academic development is to create a one-page document to find out exactly what your child knows and doesn’t know. Just point and ask. The document should include the following:

• Colors – red, yellow, orange, blue, green, purple, brown, black, pink, white

• Shapes – circle, square, rectangle, triangle, star, heart

• Upper Case Letter Recognition – A-Z

• Lower Case Letter Recognition – a-z

• Number Recognition – 1-10 at least

• Name Recognition

• Writing Their Name

(For a sample document, visit https://www.pinterest.com/ roxannedrury1/gloryland-books/education-and-readiness/)

The answers to the first question will be a good indicator in answering the second question. Kindergarten readiness should be based on a child’s social and academic development, not necessarily just on their age. My experience has been that all factors should be considered. In my many years as a preschool teacher and following my students through the grades, I found that the children who were most successful in school were those that when entering kindergarten were older 5’s rather than younger 5’s. As in all of life, in most cases, maturity comes with age. The same can be said for children when considering if they are ready for kindergarten. I believe that it is better for a child to be one of the older children in a class than one of the younger ones. The older 5-year-old kindergarteners seem to be more confident, more mature, and more ready for kindergarten learning activities, which gives them an advantage.

Now, let’s take a case in point. As an example, we’ll use Jason (a pretend preschooler), who will turn 5 in June before school starts in September. Jason’s parent has done the onepage assessment with him and found that he knows all of the colors, shapes, numbers 1-5, and he can recognize some of the upper and lower case letters. (The ones that have been taught in class so far.) He recognizes his name and is working on writing it.

Jason plays well with others but gets impatient and upset when he can’t have what he wants when he wants it, and he pouts when he does not want to do something. He also struggles a bit with listening. Jason will most likely be academically ready for kindergarten by the end of the school year based on the academic assessment. Socially, however, Jason might have some work to do. This is where the parents can work on those social skills at home by finding ways to have Jason practice patience. Reminding him to have patience and praising him when he waits patiently will go a long way in helping him develop that life skill. They can encourage Jason to listen by making sure they are making eye contact when speaking to him, or by playing listening games such as Simon Says and Mother May I.

If the assessment switch was flipped and based on the assessment Jason would not academically be ready for kindergarten, flashcards for letters, colors, shapes, and numbers are readily available. In my classroom, we made flashcard time fun. I would mix in some movement cards with the flashcards; as I was flashing the cards a Spin Around card would pop up and we would all spin around and say, “Wheeee!” When the Move It card in the deck showed up

OUR FIRST FRIENDS How to foster healthy sibling relationships

By Sarah Lyons

As a mom of six kids, I have witnessed my fair share of sibling disagreements. I have also had the pleasure of witnessing the heart-melting moments when siblings stick up for each other, cheer each other on, and generally love being together. While sibling fights are normal, and even healthy, as kids learn to work through disagreements in an appropriate way, most parents want to foster strong sibling relationships that will stand the test of time. Here are some tips to help your kids build healthy, lasting friendships with one another.

Encourage teamwork: Working towards a common goal can help people feel connected and build stronger relationships. This is why companies spend time doing team building exercises with their staff. The same is true in families. Give the kids a project, like cleaning the toy room or freshening up the landscaping in the yard and have them work on it as a team. You can even try making it a competition, such as challenging the kids to clean a room faster than their parents. Playing board games or backyard sports with teams can also have the same team building effects.

Have fun together: Spending time together as a family doing things that you enjoy is a simple way to build sibling bonds. Pick something that everyone can participate in such as a bike ride, a movie night, or a fun outing that builds memories and relationships. “My kids love having sleepovers in each other’s rooms each weekend,” says Stephanie Loux, mom of three. “It makes a mess and it’s not always convenient for us as parents, but we love and encourage their excitement for spending time together.”

Healthy conflict: Settling disagreements in a healthy and respectful way is a tool that all of us need to learn to be successful. A sibling is usually the first person in our lives that we disagree with on a regular basis. This gives parents an opportunity to teach kids how to handle conflict. “We teach them to tell each other when they are hurting emotionally or physically,” says Abby Vanden Hull, mom of four. “In the beginning that means helping them find the words and talk to each other kindly. It also means stepping back and letting them sort out their problems whenever possible.” Teach your kids to listen, take turns speaking, use kind words, refrain from criticism or physical violence, and come to a compromise whenever possible. These skills will serve them well in all areas of their lives.

Do not compare: As parents, it can be difficult not to compare children. Each child has their own unique gifts to foster, and challenges to face as they grow. Try to focus on acknowledging and appreciating their gifts and encouraging everyone in the family to do so. When they are struggling with behaviors that other kids may not have

found challenging, be patient and help them work through it as a family. When kids feel like their parents are comparing them, it can cause jealousy, competition, and resentment. Alternatively, when they feel like their gifts are cultivated and appreciated, they feel loved, valued, and secure. It also helps kids to understand that all of us are different and that is okay.

The importance of family: Our siblings are our first friends. They have a unique perspective and relationship to us because they have experienced nearly everything we have during childhood. This often leads to a relationship that includes deep understanding and support for challenges we

BSU WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

Winning respect and exposure through quality

By Dennis Lopez

Fundamentally, basketball is a simple game; it requires tossing a round ball into an 18-inch hoop. Add recruiting quality players, fans, coaches and money and the game becomes far more complex.

For the Boise State University Women’s Basketball program, sorting out those additional aspects of the game is a large part of the job of a dedicated and talented coaching staff.

With experience as both a BSU player and 22 seasons of working as an assistant coach in the university’s women’s basketball program, Heather Sower knows most aspects of the game both on and off the court very well, including the sport’s growth in popularity.

“There’s been more exposure,” she explains. “When I went home last night, I ended up watching [women’s] basketball from four in the afternoon until about 8:30 or nine on major network television. People can see it now…and want to be a part of it.”

But she also remembers a time in the mid-1990’s when there was little or no direct media coverage of women’s basketball.

“Thirty years ago, when I was a player, my mom used to call directly to the scorer’s table at the Pavilion to learn the score of games. There was no TV coverage or internet, just sometimes radio.

“People can see it [women’s basketball] now,” she says. “They see it and say ‘this is something I want to be a part of and that I want to watch’.”

It is difficult to place a finger on exactly why there is such a growing fan-base for women’s basketball in particular. Some suggest it was continual pressure placed on the NCAA to offer equal opportunities for women athletes, opportunities that had long only been afforded to men’s teams. Others would point to the national attention now being paid to outstanding women basketball players like Caitlin Clark of the University of Iowa who scores an average of 27 points a game, or Angel Reese, a 6-foot-3-inch sophomore at Louisiana State University. Reese, on average, scores nearly 18 points a game. Superstars get noticed, and in that process, so too does women’s basketball.

Regardless of the process, Sower says the end result is that more and more people are discovering the excitement and quality of women’s basketball.

In the past, Sower explains, there was what she calls a “small window”

of opportunity to see televised women’s basketball.

“People only saw women’s college basketball in NCAA tournament play once a year or perhaps in the Olympics every four years. Today, all of our [BSU] games are visible to recruiters, parents and fans…that ‘window’ is more open now.

“Fans now can watch a player they followed through her college career advance to the Women’s National Basketball Association ranks.”

Quality Program, Quality People

Sower says that while developing successful athletes is important for the school’s basketball program, it also is vital that the program help graduate individuals who are prepared to successfully meet post-college life. It’s a process that starts long before her players are ready to graduate. A part of her job is to ensure that players are ready for life on and off the court, and for a successful future, all of which demands that her players are good students as well.

“Our team’s cumulative GPA (Grade Point Average) last semester was 3.7,” she says. “When we recruit we not only look for athletes with [basketball] promise, we look for people of high-character, people who we can count on who can make great decisions both on and off the court.

“It’s one of the things that our Head Coach Gordy Presnell does such a good job of...focusing on the well-roundedness of the individual, versus just how can you help us on the court. We want to ensure they are prepared for life afterwards.”

It’s an approach that seems to work. Sower points with pride to the fact that she has multiple players who are currently enrolled in the university’s various Master’s Degree programs and to those who have gone on to professional fields such as engineering and physical therapy.

“To me, after nearly 30 years of coaching, it’s really exciting to see how well some of our alums are doing out in the community. We take a lot of pride in that.”

A Familial Sisterhood

The shared successes and failures of any sort of team creates a unique bond between its members. Sports, perhaps because of the many shared days and weeks of practice, travel and competition, has its own way of developing a familial bond between team members. Sower says that the

Assistant Coach Heather Sower

“Regardless of the process, Sower says the end result is that more and more people are discovering the excitement and quality of women’s basketball.”

BSU women’s team is no exception. It’s a unique sisterhood that has all of the earmarks of family dynamics. Spats are inevitable.

“It’s…pretty much a sisterhood… These guys have been together since late June going pretty much nonstop, with a two-week break just before school starts. You are all committed to the same goal, but it’s a long season. But in the end, we all love each other.”

Adding to the cohesiveness of the team is the contribution each of its members offers. It’s a team with quality players, but no single superstar.

“We don’t have just one player that the spotlight shines on. That makes it a lot easier when egos are involved,” she says. “That’s one thing that Gordy (Presnell) does. He works to make everyone involved both offensively and defensively as well.”

A player who seems to embody many of the aspects of the BSU women’s program is Forward Alyssa Christensen, of New Plymouth, Idaho. A transfer from the College of Southern Idaho, she is a junior majoring in Kinesiology, she says team sports have helped her become more adaptive as she has progressed from high school to the College of Southern Idaho and now Boise State.

“I’ve always been pretty quiet,” she says, “but being in a sports environment has taught me a lot of different skills…recruiting and that sort of stuff have helped me get out of my shell…”

Her focus is on her team, a team that she hopes to make contributions towards helping BSU win the Mountain West Championship.

“When we win, we win together,” she explains. “We play for each other.”

Yet, focused as she is on basketball, Christensen says the demands of her sport have helped shape her as a student.

“Being pushed in different ways has helped me learn time management and to balance sports with academics. I feel lucky to be a part of this team because we work together toward common goals.”

Watching college-level women’s basketball on television or the internet is exciting, but for those fortunate to live in the Greater Treasure Valley, the opportunity to see a BSU Women’s Basketball game in person is one that should not be missed, especially for those looking for quality family entertainment. It’s affordable and the chance to be close to the action is something that must be enjoyed first hand. Tickets run from $5 general admission to $20 for courtside seats.

BSU Women’s Basketball player Mary Kay Naro drives the lane against her Wyoming opponent during a recent match-up. Naro is just one of many players on the BSU team who bring quality on and off the court to the women’s basketball program. (Photo by Dennis Lopez)

CHILDREN’S BOOK CORNER

Lessons on emotions & creativity

By Jenna Shaver

With the new year comes a variety of feelings for everyone. Children and adults alike encounter a slew of emotions as we say goodbye to the past year and look ahead at all that is to come. Children likely saw family over the holidays, had time away from school, and are busy readjusting to new (or old) routines. As we now look forward to spring, here are two new books to consider.

“The Grand Hotel of Feelings,” written and illustrated by Lidia Brankovic, is a glorious addition to any book collection. This story is just as the title says – a hotel where feelings of any and all kinds come and go, to stay for a moment or a long time. This story presents emotions in a morally neutral way, which I have found to be rare in children’s books. No emotion is “better” than another, no feeling treated with less reverence than the other. From Gratitude and Anxiety, to Joy and Anger, the premise of the story focuses on the importance of giving ourselves space to feel whatever comes, and then to let it go. What more of a human experience can we ask for? To feel deeply and be better for it.

In the spirit of novelty and creation, my second recommendation is “To Make” by Danielle Davis. This

story, whimsical illustrations and all, is an ode to creation. Its predictable pattern of prose includes “gather, make, wait” and emphasizes the importance of patience when it comes to creation. It is so difficult to wait, especially for children, and the more ambitious and complex a project, the longer we have to wait for its inception. This book honors the process of waiting and shows that beauty takes time. In addition, in a world where any art material is available at the push of a button, the author uses the word ‘gather’ as an essential step in making something. To gather something implies deep intention in choosing just the right button or the most perfect ribbon to make exactly what you want. This intention in creation is a beautiful aspect in the process of making and should be curated in children.

I hope the sentiments of these stories carry your children forward as they move into spring. May we remember that patience + intention = something magnificent.

Jenna Shaver is an accredited teacher, developing and educating young minds as a Certified Lead Guide. She is a graduate of Montessori Northwest, an Association Internationale training center and one of a small cadre of AMIcertified teachers in Idaho. She holds dual Bachelor’s degrees from Boise State University, one in Early Childhood Intervention/Early Childhood Education and the second in Elementary Education.

Salmon Rustica

Grilled Salmon Salad

CALENDAR

Please send family-related calendar items to editorgaye@gmail.com

M A R C H

Indian Creek Plaza Ice Skating Ribbon & Rink

Skate in Caldwell at Indian Creek Plaza from noon to 9 p.m. Sunday through Thursday and from noon to 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday. (Hours and ticket sales are subject to change due to adverse weather conditions.) For more information, go to indiancreekplaza.com.

Meridian’s Little Free Library

Ye Little Free Library is located at Meridian City Hall’s Outdoor Plaza. You may “Taketh or Leaveth a Book” for free. For more information, go to meridiancity.org.

Story Trail at Kleiner Park

A story unfolds around Kleiner Park’s south pond in Meridian. Children and adults may start near the park’s history kiosk and wind their way through the 16 numbered reading stations. Go to meridiancity.org for more information.

Boise Outdoor Preschool

Looking for a fun outdoor experience for your 3½-5 year old? Take them on a tour of the Foothills Learning Center and/or the Boise Urban Garden School. To set up a tour, call (208) 608-7810 or (208) 972-8630. Or, for more information, go to cityofboise.org.

Spring Craft Fair

The 2024 Spring Craft Fair, hosted by The Salvation Army of Nampa, is scheduled for 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, March 9, at 403 12th Ave. S. There will be crafters and vendors from around the community selling items for Easter, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day, as well as various décor items. Snacks will be available for purchase, and parking will be available at the Downtown Nampa Parking Garage.

Spring Sports Madness for Moms & Sons

This event for moms and their young sons ages 3-13 is set for 7 to 9:30 p.m. Saturday, March 9, at the Harward Recreation Center in Nampa. There will be games, pizza, and a photo booth. Cost is $10 for members and $12.50 for non-members. For more information, go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

Spring forward

At 2 a.m. Sunday, March 10, most of America will “spring forward” as clocks are set ahead one hour for the beginning of daylight saving time.

Food Truck Rally

The annual Food Truck Rally Goes to the Dogs is set for 2 to 6 p.m. Saturday, March 16, at Lloyd Square Park in downtown Nampa. Food and drinks will be available for purchase, and proceeds will go to the Nampa Dog Park. For more information, go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

Courageous Kids Climbing

Courageous Kids Climbing will be taking up to 20 people to participate in a climbing event for children with special needs. The program will be held from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday, March 16, at Vertical View Climbing, 1334 E. Bird Dog Dr. in Meridian. Reservations are required. Volunteers are needed to help with coaching and belaying. Other events are scheduled for later in the spring. Contact organizer Jeff Reichmann at courageouskidsclimbing@gmail.com to register or for more information.

St. Patrick’s Day

Along with St. Patrick’s Day on March 17, other special days in March include National Plant a Flower Day, National Agriculture Day, International Day of Forests, and National Learn About Butterflies Day.

Green Pin Bowling at Pinz

Bowl a strike with a green head pin and win a $20 gift card good at Wahooz, Pinz and Roaring Springs. The Green Pin Bowling event is set for 5 to 8 p.m. Sunday, March 17. Go to wahoozfunzone.com for more information.

The first day of spring

March 21 will mark the end of winter and the beginning of spring.

Paw Patrol Live

Paw Patrol Live will be performing at Boise’s ExtraMile Arena at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. Saturday, March 23, and at 2 p.m. Sunday, March 24. For tickets to this fun children’s show, go to extramilearena.com.

Flashlight Easter Egg Hunt

Children ages 13-17 are invited to Harward Rec Center’s annual Flashlight Easter Egg Hunt, beginning at 9 p.m. Friday, March 29. Cost is $5 per person, and those who attend may pay at the event. For more information, go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

Easter Egg Swim

Harward Rec Center in Nampa will host its annual Easter Egg Swim on Saturday, March 30. There will be swim times for different ages as follows: 5 and under, 1 p.m.; kids 6-8, 1:30 p.m.; and ages 9-12, 2 p.m. For more information, go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

Easter at Zoo Boise

On Saturday, March 30, hop on over to Zoo Boise, where the Easter Bunny will be available for photo-ops and his helpers will be passing out candy at stations throughout the zoo. There will also be face painting, special treats for the animals, activities, vendors, and more. It’s always an EGG-cellent event. For more information, go to zooboise.org.

Official day of Easter

This year, Easter will take place on Sunday, March 31.

of Events

A P R I L

April Fool’s Day

Per usual, April Fool’s Day will be held April 1. Other holidays in April include International Pillow Fight Day and National Fun Day.

Monster Jam

Monster Jam will return to the Ford Idaho Center Arena April 5-7. For tickets and more information, go to fordidahocenter.com.

2024 Idaho Artistry in Wood Show

The Idaho Artistry in Wood 2024 Wood and Gourd Art Show will be held from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, April 6, and from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, April 7, at the exhibition hall on the fifth floor of JUMP, 1000 Myrtle St. in Boise. Competitors from all skill levels – novice to expert – may submit their wood carving, turning, scroll work, fine wood working, creations, gourd art and pyrography entries for public display and judging. The show will feature demonstrations, vendors, raffles, an auction, and a banquet, as well as the opportunity for artists to sell their work. The Idaho show is one of the largest of its kind in the western U.S.

Family Camping Basics

This program for anyone age 4 and above is designed to help your family gain the skills and confidence to take a family overnight camping trip this summer. Topics and activities will be tailored so that all ages may participate, learning the gear, meals and etiquette that will keep everyone safe and comfortable. Cost is $10 per person. The program will be held from 2-4 p.m. Saturday, April 27, at the Foothills Learning Center. Another program is set for early May. For more information, go to cityofboise.org/parks and see page 15 of the recreation guide.

Beginning March, 2024

FEELING ISOLATED? Be on the lookout for new friendships

By Gaye Bunderson

NOTE: I originally wrote this article thinking only of individuals who might be feeling isolated. Then a little online research revealed to me that people in families may also be lonely: housewives, people who are divorced or lost a spouse, or children who don’t feel understood by other family members. Unfortunately, humanity can’t always escape the reality of feeling alone. But look up! Things can change in an instant and nothing lasts forever.

Working at home became something of a common reality in 2020, though many, many employees were urged in subsequent years to return to the office and were reluctant to do so. I myself was working in an office up until 2017; I began working from home that year on November 23, the week of Thanksgiving.

There are advantages to working at home: I don’t have to drive in the snow to get to work; I don’t put so much wear-and-tear on my car, and I save gas; I have a bit of come-and-go autonomy throughout the day; and I guess you could say it’s much quieter. But sometimes it’s too quiet. I occasionally miss office chatter, saying hello to co-workers in the morning, talking about shared work challenges, and even getting help from them when I have questions. So, while there are advantages to remote work, I personally see some disadvantages as well, and the biggest of those is a sense of isolation.

COPING TIPS

Since I decided to write up this article for anyone feeling the same way I do, I vowed I would not make it sound like one big whine. I’d be positive. So here goes...

I’m not someone you’d describe as gregarious and outgoing. But even though I’m an introvert, I am by no means a loner. I need people. I see that as a good thing, but it tends to be a bad thing when people aren’t around. So what have I done to cope?

Right now, it is the first week of February, and I have lunch planned with a friend. I also go out of the home to do in-person interviews for my job, and I have one of those coming up soon. I see my out-of-town family pretty regularly, and we enjoy a lot of fun things.

I’ve read two books about establishing communities and/ or “villages,” as one author calls them. The first book is titled, “Find Your People” by Jennie Allen; the second is “Build Your Village” by Florence Ann Romano. I have yet to finish the second book because building an entire village started to sound overwhelming. The first book met some of my needs since, really, all I need is more people in my life, and America alone boasts a population of 331.9 million of them.

Sometimes I think: If there are so many lonely people around, why don’t they all just get together? There. One problem solved. But of course things are never quite that simple.

Ways to conquer the fear of loneliness

By Stan Popovich

Sometime or another we will experience a time when we are alone. Some people fear being alone for various reasons. The first steps are becoming comfortable with yourself and having the self-confidence that you will be able to manage being alone. With this in mind, here are eight suggestions that a person can use so that the fear of loneliness doesn’t become a major issue in your life.

1. Find an activity that you enjoy doing. Joining a group activity can be a great way to meet people. Doing something that you like to do will make you happy and the fact that you will be around different people will increase your chances of making friends.

2. Spend your time with a pet. Animals are a great source of companionship. Volunteer at your local animal shelter to help those animals who are in need. Another option is to consider adopting a pet. Regardless, spending time with your favorite

pet or animal will help overcome your loneliness.

3. Help others through community service. There are many people out there who could benefit from your time and talents. Helping others can give you a sense of pride and accomplishment and help you not to focus on your loneliness. You can also increase your chances of meeting others with similar interests.

4. It could be worse. Imagine that you are married or stuck in a relationship that you can’t get out of and that also makes you miserable on a daily basis. Being in an unhappy relationship can be very depressing, so remind yourself of that the next time you feel lonely. This will help put some things in perspective.

5. The important thing is to be active. Sitting around and doing nothing will not make things any better, whether it is dealing with the fear of being alone or something else. Take it

I’ve made it through six years of working at home alone, and I need to say here and now that I love what I do for a living. I’ve been doing it since the early 1980s, but I could have never foreseen ending up isolated at home with walls that never talk, chairs that can’t and don’t offer advice, and a kitchen-counter desk that has yet to share a single funny joke and give me a good laugh.

This isn’t at all about wanting a new job – as I said, I love what I do. Instead, it’s about seeking new opportunities, new chances to meet new people. I just want to get away from the four walls of my home more frequently. Can’t wait, in fact, for some new doors to open up and let me in (and out).

I’ve developed this unofficial motto: Seek friends everywhere.

And I’m always looking. Having more people in my life on a daily basis would be super. I have wonderful co-workers –each in their own homes, as I am, unfortunately. When I do communicate with them, it is THE most fun. They’re all great people.

Sometimes just being candid can be a bit cathartic, a sort of restrained request for some understanding that your situation challenges you. This one has been quite uphill for me.

So, all my isolated and lonely friends, hang in there. I’ve learned that in life, things can change for the better quite unexpectedly. Happenings can pop up that you never anticipated. Just a few months into the new year, let’s all keep hoping for good outcomes for many things and many people. Look up and see what you can find. Life, actually, is very good – and new friends are one of the biggest reasons why.

Seek them everywhere.

I have included an article by Stan Popovich in this issue. He offers some ideas about meeting the challenges of loneliness. (See below.)

one day at a time and try to make the effort to be active with others in your community.

6. Things can change. Nothing remains the same and events change all the time. Even if the thing that you feared does happen, there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. You never know when an opportunity that you are looking for will come to you.

7. You’re not the only one who is alone. Remember that everyone deals with loneliness sometime in their life. Focus on YOUR life and don’t compare yourself to others. Continue to seek friendships with other people and don’t feel sorry for yourself. There are all kinds of people in various circumstances, so don’t assume that you are the only one who is alone.

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear.” For more information about his book and to get some free mental health advice, visit his website at http://www.managingfear.com.

SAVE YOUR CHILD Stop gaming addictions while you can

By Sandy McDaniel

The number of our youth who are getting hooked on gaming (playing video games) has increased substantially. As a result, we are seeing teens, especially, getting less sleep each night, skipping school and not doing homework, disengaging socially from peers other than those in their gaming sessions, and eating poorly. They are irritable, anxious, and certainly addicted. A 2019 study published in “Frontiers in Psychology” found that excessive video gaming coincided with mental health symptoms, including depression and anxiety, plus anger and hostility.

Why is gaming so addictive?

“The reward center in the brain releases dopamine in response to a pleasurable experience or hyperarousal. If a person experiences hyperarousal while playing video games, the brain associates the activity with dopamine. The person develops a strong drive to seek out that same pleasure again and again.” (Taken from https://healthwatchwiganandleigh. co.uk/advice-and-information/2022-03-02/video-gameaddiction.)

I wrote a letter to a 14-year-old boy with whom I was working because he had gotten kicked out of three schools and was out of strikes with the schools. He lives with a relative and is gaming a minimum of five hours a day. His behavior reflects an addiction. He is fidgety and anxious all the time. He seldom looks me in the eye. He lies constantly and is a master at saying whatever any adult wants to hear. He is explosive when he doesn’t get his way and won’t listen to reason from any adult. After meeting with him, he agreed to cut down on the number of hours he spends on Xbox. I sent him this message:

“[There’s] something I want you to be aware of, because cutting down on how many hours you play on your Xbox will be much harder than you can imagine. The fact that you are super fidgety, moving every minute to crunch something, scratch your arm, touch your head is clear evidence of an addiction. In this case, you are addicted to being revved up all the time, tense and anxious, trying to beat the game. You are also very intense about winning. Those disturbed mannerisms will increase as you withdraw from so much gaming. You will want to feed your anxiousness by going back and doing more gaming. Right now you can see the cycle that choice would create.

“So, you need to find an outlet for that energy. Skating would be good and it’s the wrong time of year. Running would be excellent, and the weather isn’t cooperating.

“Maybe joining a gym would give you a place to discharge that pent-up energy. A punching bag is good, and moving your whole body is better.

“As you know, no one will hire someone who looks like they are on drugs. It is in your best interest to de-program yourself from gaming. Everything will settle down around you as you become less inflated with fury. This is up to you, my new friend, and all the talk, all the caring I have for you, will go nowhere until you take charge of your own life.”

Did he change? No. In fact, he started slipping out at night, “borrowed” the family car (no driver’s license) and was failing in school. His Xbox was removed from their home (his response being to trash his room) and the family is working to have him become accountable for his choices.

How much is too much? Experts say 2-3 hours a day is as much gaming as a boy or girl should do. Any parent who has binge-watched a program on Netflix will tell you how addictive the media can be. It is easy to think it is better for your teen to be on a technological gadget than out at the mall raising hell. While I don’t support the latter, I am concerned that we are literally changing the brain patterns of our children with all the screen time allowed.

With brain changes come extreme behavior changes. If your son spends hours shooting people in order to win a game, say goodbye to his ability to be empathetic, and hope he doesn’t become someone who takes a lot of lives or his own life.

Parents need to see what kind of games their children are playing, closely regulate how much time is spent gaming, and talk to their children before they are addicted; they can’t hear you after addiction. As a parent, you would do anything to keep your child safe. You know how much energy and emotion you have already poured into a child’s life, so don’t think I’m being dramatic when I say: Stop gaming addiction and save your child’s life.

For more than 60 years, Sandy McDaniel has been an international speaker and recognized authority on families and children. Author of five books, columnist, founder of parentingsos.com, she is a resident of Meridian and loves spending time with her three Idaho grandchicks. She may be reached at sandy@parentingsos.com. To read her parenting blog, go to parentingsos.com/blog.

Sandy McDaniel

we would all say, “You got to Move It, Move It,” and we’d wiggle our bottoms. So much fun while learning. The “Zoo Phonics” alphabet cards are another really fun excellent way to teach your child the letters and the sounds with motions.

Now is the time to assess whether your pre-kindergarten child is going to be ready for kindergarten. Beginning the assessment process now leaves plenty of time to help your child be fully ready for his or her next year of school. Of course, we want to take it slow and practice at home regularly, but in short spurts. Working on each area of deficiency at a slow and steady pace will not put undue stress on your child. Remember to make it fun! Keep it light. And rewards are always good!

Keep in mind that all children learn in different ways and at different rates. So, have patience. It takes a teacher and the parents working together to come alongside the child to encourage and instruct in developing social, emotional, and academic skills. It is a team effort and the child wins and learns from both sides of the desk!

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