3 minute read
MAN EATS BOISE
Big Bun Double Cheeseburger. PHOTO BY ALAN HEATHCOCK
By Alan Heathcock
On December 12th, 2024, Idaho made international news when the state’s first In-N-Out opened in Meridian, prompting absurdly long lines of cars and an eight-hour wait in the drive-thru. I tend not to judge how others have their fun. Live your best life, folks. And don’t get me wrong—In-N-Out burger checks all the boxes. Good patty, good bun, quality condiments. I bet that In-N-Out burger tasted delicious after inhaling car exhaust for eight hours, and those who waited can say they were there, a part of local history, as dubious as it may be.
The issue I take with the In-N-Out fervor is it’s over a burger that’s no better than many longstanding Treasure Valley offerings. is sent me on a mission to sort the Ins from the Outs, curating local burgers deserving of fanatical reverence. I ate at drive-ins, bars, and restaurants ranging from fast casual to diners to fine dining. I even ate a burger at a gas station—the Stinker Station on State and 34th makes a surprisingly tasty burger.
If we’re discussing burgers within the same price point of In-N-Out, I’d just as soon get one from Hawkins Pac-Out or Westside Drive-In, Big Bun, Big Juds, Boise Fry Company, Fanci Freez, Burger Belly, or Bad Boy Burgers. The very best in that category was the Griddle Burger from Wyld Child, one of the best of the 26 I sampled and my pick for the best burger in the valley under $10.
As for the expensive fare, I have some gripes, then some praise. First, stop trying to impress with fancy ingredients on a menu that don’t make a burger tastier. Secondly, stop with the towering feats of architecture—if I can’t hold it in my hand and/or fit it in my mouth, then the burger has missed the mark. Finally, asking $25 for a burger is a sucker bet. I know quality ingredients cost more, and margins are tight, but I found no $21 burger better than the $4 Cheap Eats Burger at Westside (the cheapest burger I’d recommend).
When the price was qualitatively justified, and the burger was elevated without pretension stealing its soul (a high-quality patty, a fresh buttery bun, condiments that complement but don’t smother the beef), I smiled my biggest smile. Boise Brewing Company’s Smash Burger was excellent, as were the burgers at Woodland Empire, Solid Bar and Grill, and Cloud 9 Brewery. The best of them was the HAUS Burger at Kin, which for $16 was worth every penny, and is my pick for Best Burger in Boise.
Hand to heart, I’m not knocking In-N-Out devotees. It’s a good burger. Maybe just spread that love a bit wider. As for sitting eight hours in a drive-thru, even if the end of that wait not only promised a delicious In-N-Out Double-Double but a face-to-face with God, who’d answer any questions to quell the existential turmoil of my soul, I’d still decide to just grab a burger at Wyld Child and hold my questions until I was dead.
Heathen, I know.
