Nine Rules for a Buckner Family Christmas

BY CHERIE BUCKNER-WEBB

My mom was serious about Christmas traditions. Dorothy Buckner’s zeal was infectious! Every inch of the house had to be immaculate—decorations placed with great care throughout—and tons of fresh greenery (which had to be refreshed with regularity as the fireplaces were blazing every day) added to the ambience required for the season. We all joined in decorating the tree early in December. Some of the decorations had been in the family for generations. Candles, poinsettias, orange pomanders, and beautifully decorated gift boxes were placed just so throughout our homes, all in preparation for the big day.

Even now, preparation begins right after Thanksgiving, although the Fairyland Parade marks the kick-off every year. One especially memorable year, I got big props from my granddaughter, Zaida, when she and her dad got to join me in the parade—in a convertible, no less—when I served in the legislature! Now that’s a memory.

Everyone has their marching orders, subject to change with whim and caprice, but the more crowded, noise, decorations, food, and laughter, the better! My family loves Christmas, and though we’ve been known to wear each other out with festivities, we celebrate in the spirit of Dorothy, who loved the anticipation and preparation for a house full of friends and family, and nurtured the excitement with lots of planning, scheming, coded conversations, and secrets. Presents had wrong names on them intentionally to keep the kids guessing. Some had none at all. And there were always presents for friends, neighbors, or guests that would drop in. Everyone gets a Christmas gift.

But there were and are rules.

• Everyone in the family had to make at least one homemade gift.

• Each child could open one present on Christmas Eve.

• Christmas Eve was a time for reminiscing, telling tall tales, eggnog, hot toddies, soft drinks, snacks, scoping out names on gifts, and sharing stories. My son Phillip introduced my dad to what became his all-time favorite Christmas Eve drink: eggnog with grape pop.

• No ambushing Santa. My son busted me big time one Christmas Eve when I waited hours after everyone was asleep, then crept down to the basement to place “Santa” presents. The only light was from the stairwell, and Sean had skillfully strung string across the family room to “trip up Santa”! I nearly broke my neck! I, of course, tried to stifle a scream as Sean opened his door, laughing like crazy. I pleaded with him not to awaken his little brother, Phillip, then bribed Sean not to tell him what had happened!

• No labels on kids’ gifts. My kids, nieces, nephews, and granddaughter were so stealthy about checking out the present landscape, and I love to surprise them.

• Christmas activities officially begin about 6 a.m. This generation meets at my house, family by birth and by choice. The more the merrier.

• We stack presents by recipient and take turns opening one gift and acknowledging and honoring the giver. Generations of our family have instilled the importance and significance of the process of giving, receiving, and giving thanks for the gift, recalling the “reason for the season.”

• BREAKFAST! My son Sean and niece Shi have taken over cooking duties, and we have a huge breakfast for 15-20 people. Those two deliver!! Enough for an army!

• Then, we honor tradition, gathering for music, laughing, reminiscing, evoking stories of our old folks, telling tales, calling relatives across the country, putting together toys, listening to stories, napping, playing games and celebrating. Yep—that’s a Buckner, Johnson, family Christmas.