6 minute read

CULINARY THERAPY

by Fanny Slater

Chef Spencer Gorman-Prow’s Powerful Story of Uncovering Courage through Cooking

If you’ve watched even one episode of any culinarybased reality show, you know that “tranquil” isn’t the first word that comes to mind when describing the nature of a professional kitchen. The environment is notorious for being boisterous, fast-paced, and chaotic. The chef in this feature, however, astoundingly found his “solace in the chaos,” and ultimately— it saved his life.

Thanks to classic episodes of the French Chef (Julia Child’s timeless PBS series in the 60s) providing the soundtrack to his childhood, it’s no wonder some of Chef Spencer Gorman-Prow’s earliest memories are standing over a sauté pan. He may not have been able to reach the stove at first, but according to his parents— with his arms raised above his head—he certainly mastered the art of shaking bird seed over a hot flame by the age of four.

Today, this well-seasoned chef goes gaga for a sous vide and boasts culinary techniques that include everything from French to Asian to molecular gastronomy.

But it wasn’t all sunshine, simmering, and roasting— and several years ago, Chef Spencer courageously published his memoir, Solace in the Chaos, which recalls gripping tales of an adolescence plagued with sexual abuse. After overcoming inconceivable trauma, he now leads a culinary team at SaddleBrooke TWO, one of Tucson’s most luxurious country clubs, and it’s clear the kitchen is his happy place.

Read on for the inspiring chronicle of how this chef took an often-turbulent atmosphere and transformed it into a scrumptious sanctuary.

Chef Spencer

Gorman-Prow

Executive Chef

SaddleBrooke TWO

Tucson, Arizona

Did being a chef feel like it was meant to be?

I never sought out to be a chef, I just kind of fell into it. I was 14 years old washing dishes in a Chinese restaurant. Nobody spoke English and they were yelling at me all night … and I liked it!

The cooks always remained very intense even with full racks worth of tickets. Even though I couldn’t understand what they were saying, I could understand by watching them. It was intriguing to me. There’s something about that stressful environment that wasn’t stressful to me. When things get really crazy in the kitchen, everything slows down for me. I do my best work when everybody else is losing their mind.

After graduating first in your class from the Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago, you worked at several award-winning restaurants. Tell me about your culinary path.

I moved to Arizona from Chicago right after 9/11. Everything was almost like COVID-19, where everybody was in shock and nobody was traveling. I ended up getting my first cooking job in Arizona at the DOD (Department of Defense) at the Davis-Monthan Air Force Base.

I was feeding military personnel—which I took a lot of pride in because these people were putting their lives on the line. If I could make their 20 minutes of mealtime something they’re not worried about, I felt like I was doing my part. How did you end up in the country club industry?

After working in the DOD, I got into hotels for a while, and then my youngest was born. I relocated with my family to the white mountains, where we went from the desert to snow. It was a part of Arizona I never knew existed. It was a small community, and the only jobs they had up there happened to be in country clubs.

I fell into the first job when the Executive Chef at one club asked me to babysit his Sous Chef while he went on vacation in the winter. Springtime came around, and they ended up offering me that job. Eventually, I moved into the Executive Chef position there.

Your culinary skills are wide-ranging. How would you define your cooking personality in just a few sentences?

In my current environment, I’d have to say “exotic comfort food.” I’m working with ingredients the residents are familiar with instead of trying to make something they don’t really want. I’ll bring in something interesting every once in a while so that I get to play a little bit, but I do it in a way that’s familiar to them, so they’re not scared of what we’re presenting.

These folks want their fish fried, and they want meatloaf. But the thing is, I want to make it the best fried fish or the best meatloaf. It’s all about doing the best you can with what people’s expectations are.

SaddleBrooke TWO offers three dining experiences— MountainView Bar & Grill, Mesquite Grill, and Preserve Bar & Grill. Do you run all three?

Right now, I’m running breakfast, lunch, and dinner out of MountainView Bar & Grill; because of COVID-19, it makes more sense to have less staff and just run one facility. I also run all the banquets out of there, like the golf events and occasional weddings.

The Preserve is more of our upscale steak and seafood spot about five miles up the mountain, and they have their own Executive Chef.

How has the dining scene at SaddleBrooke TWO changed and evolved since March 2020 when COVID-19 first hit?

We had to re-invent the wheel a little bit because buffets are a thing of the past. Everything is plated now, which I actually don’t mind because it saves me money since I know exactly how much I need and don’t have any waste.

Your book Solace in Chaos is an intense, personal memoir of your life that puts the sensitive topic of sexual abuse front and center. What moment gave you the courage to commit to telling your story openly?

Being a father. My youngest is 18 now, and I wanted to set the record straight. Time heals a lot of wounds, but there are some you can’t just sweep under the rug or wish away.

The memoir started as journaling, and then it morphed. Writing was a healing process for me because it made me think about my emotions. I also put some recipes in there that were around the same time period. I saw it as a bridge to help others who have been abused who haven’t found their voice. Until you can verbalize forgiveness to yourself, you’re always going to be in that denial phase.

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I also felt like it was important to put my experience out there from a male’s perspective. If somebody reads my book and it makes them feel less alone, maybe they’ll know it’s okay to talk about it. Share a bit about how finding serenity in a professional kitchen impacted you.

In hindsight, cooking saved my life. I was able to escape all of that and find my place in the kitchen. It provided a safe space for me to be me instead of trying to be the person hiding behind drinking or drugs. I could control my space, and it wasn’t threatening. I was able to set the parameters and do my thing. I wasn’t always looking over my shoulder per se.

What would you tell someone struggling with trauma who is fearful about opening up and exposing their story? Better yet, what do you wish someone would have told you when you were in the depths of your own chaos?

“Are you okay?”

You get to a point where you hide it so well that people assume everything is fine. The quietest ones are usually those with the most going on. Through the years of working with so many young folks, and especially in this business, you really get to be able to read people. I can tell right away if someone is having a bad day. And with my background, I try to relate to them, hopefully lend a little bit of advice, and empathize. There’s always hope. There’s always somebody there that wants to help you. You just have to be open and willing to seek it out because it’s not going to come hunt you down.

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